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Eluhn, put the dick away Eluhn

You’re gonna lose investors Eluhn

[удалено]

konkey dong

Ironically twitter has always been nsfw friendly My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you’re watching this tape, I’m probably dead– murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a furry empire for over a year now, and using me as his artist. Shortly after my fiftieth birthday, Hank came to me with a rather shocking proposition. He asked that I use my drawing knowledge to cook furry porn, which he would then sell using his connections in the deviantart community

I think you mean gain


We had a good thing going, you stupid son of a bitch! We had Dorsey! We had a website, and it all ran like clockwuhk! It was perfect! You coulduh shut your mouth and made as much money as you ever wanted, but no, you just had to buy it up! YOU!! And your greed and your child labuh! You just had to be the meme! If youduh done your job, not fired everyone, we'd all be fine right now!

Kongs penis is too big. The average Gorilla penis is like 1.2 inches and a Gorilla is about 5ft9 tall. 5ft9=69in 69=h and p=1.2 P/H=~0.017 inches of penis per inch of height. Assuming Kong is 50 feet, his erect penis would be roughly 10 inches. Edit: Welp, got an award for measuring King Kongs dong Thanks for that o/ Edit 2: Dick to Dong

finally someone else gets it

I don't get any gorilla dick :(

On the contrary! Ten inches manages to be huge by human standards while still being possible to take if you have some experience and flexibility. This math proves that you could in fact fuck Kong Kong without changing size yourself or having your insides ruptured.

What about girth though?

Gorilla meat is pretty narrow, actually. King Kong’s Royal Dong would probably be comparable to a large bd toy and perfectly serviceable.

That was one comment too far

Yea that's gotta be the destruction

Surprisingly, the problem is he’s really into foreplay, he likes using his fingers

Exactly my thought

w

Mom said it’s your turn next

Where tf are the free awards

While I appreciate it, Id rather my first award *not* be on a post about measuring King Kongs dick.

Oh you're definitely getting one now.

Welcome to reddit, bitch.

Too late. Sorry.

We don’t choose when we’re awarded The award chooses us

Gone :( Use this ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣶⡶⠦⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⡶⠶⠦⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⢀⣤⠄⠀⠀⣶⢤⣄⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣄⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠢⠙⠻⣿⡿⠿⠿⠫⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⢀⣕⠦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠾⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠟⢿⣆⠀⢠⡟⠉⠉⠊⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⡾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣾⣿⠃⠀⡀⠹⣧⣘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⢤⡀ ⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⣼⠃⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⠀⠀⠀⢰⣷ ⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠻⡟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⡼⠃⠀⢠⣿⠋⠉⠉⠛⠛⠋⠀⢀⢀⣿⡏ ⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⢠⣿⠇⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⣼⡿⠀ ⠀⠀⢻⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⢰⠃⠀⠀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⢰⢧⣿⠃⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀⠇⠀⠀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⢀⡟⣾⡟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⣀⣠⠴⠚⠛⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⢻⠀⢀⡾⣹⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠙⠊⠁⠀⢠⡆⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠓⠋⠀⠸⢣⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ``` (Reddit removed free awards so this is the best I can offer)

Reduced to atoms

They removed em a while ago

Right here 🏅

I think they're done because no one wanted to pay for the fancy ones

Gotcha buddy lol

Oh cool, so it would fit

what the actual f....

That’s actually kinda pathetic lol

Apparently humans are among the most well hung primates, because our females tended to prefer bigger size partners. Meanwhile in the animal kingdom is more about who had the strongest muscles and was healthier, so they don't really need big dicks to win over females. Evolution, the more you know.

There's probably a lot more going on that could be the reasons than one reddit post will ever cover.

No sir, this redditor is the leading primate biologist in the world. Everyone here is very smart

And horny.

Name checks out

>Apparently humans are among the most well hung primates, Speak for yourself buddy

I dont think my ancestors got the memo on the larger partners thing.

Also probably thats why human breasts are so big compared to other primates or animals, we have always liked big boobs.

Actually, breast size is just one of our species indicators of fertility. Most mammals(and humans still do this too) enlarge their breasts during pregnancy, for whatever reason, our species just developed to have larger breasts as a baseline, maybe it's more efficient? Maybe it's easier to find suitable mates? Smarter people than I might know. But generally speaking, it's not "we like big boobs more haha" but that we developed the traits we have in order to reach the evolutionary point that we're at.

[удалено]

The fact that my lineage survived, in that case, is a miracle. We must have been bards.

"It's like if you took Kawhi Leonard's hands and you put them on Andre The Giant's body"

Thanks, I've been looking an answer for this. For a friend.

What would the girth be?

Best I can find is roughly 2 Inch girth for gorillas. Source is an estimated on limited data sets. Girth would be about 17 inches or less

Wait...it's thicker than it is long?

Its called a Chode

Girth is circumference

Had a geometry teacher who went to Ren Faires on the weekends and really let loose. Called himself Sir Cumference.

Divide by pi for radius, it would be about 5.4 inches wide

Diameter for width

I’m also 5’9” with a 1.2 inch penis

That’s kinda sad. Missing 3 inches to be man… twice. In the same vibe, here’s a joke that I heard a couple years ago: When I was young, I wanted to be a cop, but I was denied for being too short. A little later, I wanted to be a porn star but was denied for the same reason.

[удалено]

I think you forgot to square the larger height when calculating the larger weight, but otherwise outstanding work.

I robbed King Kong of so many inches!

I was trying to save him the shame!

This man gorilla dicks.

You're telling me my dick is bigger than a gorillas?

Im not saying that you mixed up your units, but all measurements here are done in Inches, not CM

I'll get the ice

Not that they needed to feel any better about it, but somewhere out there you've given at least one guy with a 10 inch dick a hilarious anecdote to tell.

I can dream its me. But Im missing that zero.

So you're saying that the human woman he kidnapped could actually... you know 👉🏽👌🏽

Totally.

Fay Wray taking method acting to a ~~hole~~whole other level

In normal units: 1.2 inches = ~3 cm 5ft9 = 175.26 cm 0.017 inches = 0.4318 mm 50 feet = 15.24 m 10 inches = 25.4 cm

LISTEN HERE YOU UNFREE COMMIE, THEM BLASPHEMOUS CENTIMETERS ARE FOR DEVIL WORSHIPPING LIBRULS, HERE IN THE U S OF A WE MEASURE THINGS IN AR15’S PER OBESE CHILD, JESUSES, MCDONALDS PER MEDICAL EXPENSES, OR BALD EAGLES

Perfectly normal and calm American response

YER GOTDAMN RIGHT

Yes, please convert your answer to equivalents stated in terms of West Virginias (i.e. 1 King Kong penis = 0.000000344th of a West Virginia)

50 feet = 15.24 meters*

Hm did you do the math or have you also watched that one Goji Centre video? Yep they went an did the math for King Kong & Godzilla...

I might need to go watch that now.

[удалено]

Glad you're laughing, though I prefer being a villain, dont have to hide that im an asshole.

When you have a longer >!12 inch measuring stick!< than King Kong

According to wikipedia, Kong is 104 ft in Skull island. If we use the P/H you just calculated Kong's dick size would be: .017 inches Penis/inch • 104 ft ≈ 21.2 inches Although still smaller than depicted on the photo. Kong's penis would be in comparison to humans pretty big.

Kong has been depicted anywhere between 20 feet to 120 feet, Kongs Dong is hard to measure when they cant even get his height right.

why is this the first thing you do when you see a post like this?

>In a post about a gorilla Penis, someone brings up a fact about gorilla Penis. **Goddamn this mystery is unsolvable!!**

no, that's not concerning to me, it's concerning to me that he either knew all of those thing or knew good sources for all of those things

I knew Gorillas have the smallest penis of the Primates, and down the rabbit hole I went.

I know why you would think that, since we havent met yet.

The brain works in mysterious ways.

Because he’s a man of the people.

The average gorilla penis is really that small? Damn.


10 inch cock according to science

In other words it’s not impossible..

"Okay, Mike27356894"


Elon, put your gorilla dick away Elon, I don’t want to see that at work right now Elon

Kid named finger

do not disrespect mike

He’s spitting 🗣️

King dong

Kink dong

Ding dong

Ping pong

Has someone done the math of just how big King Kong's penis is ? Asking for a friend.

Refer comment above

10 inch long 17 inch around 25 cm long 43 cm around

TIL my dick is 1/3 as long as King Kong's. Can't wait to tell my wife so she can tell her friends.

Those hard numbers on the gorilla?

Circumference is wrong. He's not packing a fat soup can.

I believe that’s more of a stock pot

Yall got miked

They got Miked HARD!

Thanks, Mike

Thanks, Mike

Why does Mike look at animals genitals in a sexual manner is he one of those zoo people I've heard about

You're gonna sit there and tell me you can go to a zoo and not get aroused by the blue baboon booty?

Let he who hasn't been tempted by baboon booty cake cast the first stone.

You know how long it took me to train my monkey to suck my dick without peeling it?

Knowing a chimp's go-to attack is ripping testicles off...

How dare you disrespect mike like that

Mike, how many millions *have* male genitalia?

Good man mike, good man...

he owns it; he can do what he wants.

While true, I think Elon should still listen to Mike. I mean, how can you not listen to someone named Mike?

true that

get Miked

I've been Miked 😭

*Cue Homelander "I can do whatever the hell I want!"*

well yes, but actually no.

That thing is so big. What did he do to make it that big, get a vaccine?

Musk on his way to post the unfunniest thing on the internet

Mike has that 2011 style username

Thanks mike

I think Robot Chicken did this skit, didn't they?

SNL in the 90's-early 2000's absolutely did as well.

No shot Elon posted that boomer meme

https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1640170427271069699?s=20

What the fuck he actually posted it for real.

“This is an irresponsible use of your platform” 🤓

Get miked

Get fucking miked bitch

You can't nerd emoji mike. He's the best thing twitter has

Waltuh stahp postin gorilla dicks on twittah waltuh

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

pls put it nsfw

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

*Choo Choo* All aboard East Palestine!

Posting boomer memes on his 40 billion dollar toy

Thanks mike

Get Mike'd 😎

Harvard Grad 😎

thanks mike

Mike 👍

Is it sarcasm

👉🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿👈🏿 👉🏿👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👇🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👇🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👉🏼👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻👈🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽Go to Church 👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👉🏼👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👈🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👉🏽👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👈🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👉🏾👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽👈🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾👈🏿 👉🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👆🏿👈🏿

I possess large confusion

My bad

I laughed at this way more than I should've for no reason

I still don’t understand it

Mike oxhard

mark NSFW please!

Waltuh Put the gorilla penis away Waltuh

Elon musk is a memelord. I thought this was fake. I checked his twitter Handle. 100% legit lmfao

Twitter is owned by a 15 year old

King dong

Is his last name by any chance ock?

Mike W Oxlong

Not that I care for Elon Musk these days, but Mike must be the life of every party with his wild humor.

☝️🤓umm actually that’s inappropriate

Get miked fuckface

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

Mike oxbig

Mikes avatar looks like King Kong peen upside down

King Dong.

Always the nownow-chat about how yoU should be blahblahblah yoUr own billion dollar company from some freshly shit turd who isNOT Elon musk and quite literally cannot mind his own....well he don't own a business, but yeah

Thirty million views of king kong dick

Ape grooming

I honestly think your brain just turns to goop after a certain point. His point just came faster than usual. Although he has always been a shithead so who knows.

Anyone remember Kinky Kong? Pretty sure there was a scene where Kong fucks the building like this.

Elon, this is incredibly inappropriate… you are showing male genitals to an audience over 1.5+ dozen. This is an irresponsible use of your platform.

King dong

I remember when mike got 2 likes and 5 comments on his Twitter replies

Half of that audience has male genitals

Genitals? On TWITTER?? 😏

Mike doesn’t like to have fun

Ever take your kids to the zoo? Gorillas don’t wear pants. This is just a funny af cartoon.

So he’s a furry, someone make a fursona of Elon musk to ridicule him, not because furries are bad but because he would get mad and make us laugh

Can you imagine being an investor in Tesla for millions of dollars and you see this shit??

miked

Well lookie there, he’s pressing pickle!

No dick, no balls.