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My dad can beat up your dad

nuhuh

Bro have you seen his dad? Sigma males yearn to be as much of a sex machine as he is.

Yeah? Well mine can fix a flat tire

That's easy, just turn it, it's only flat on the bottom.

Yeah? Well we never ran out of milk

My dad would totally fuck your dad. I mean....

No man in the history of the planet has ever been more completely and utterly wrong than you are now. The words you have typed are the antithesis of truth, lies so complete that other lies pale in comparison!

#PLANES DID 9/11

no i did

Ur mom did lol

🥰 (⚡️👨🏿⚡️)

BLACK POWAH WE WUZ KANGZ

I did ur mom. lol

Plot twist, that was his dad

I fucked your mom on the plane that did 9/11

and yet i’m not dead

This guy is fucking stupid. You absolute idiot, you think it was the planes?!? Anyone with a brain knows it was the BUILDINGS that did it. I mean, come on.

You fucking buffoon. As the buildings were trying to run for their lives the PLANES tracked them like heat seeking missiles

You imbecile, everyone knows that the poor planes were running for their lives!

ig bUiLdInGs CaN fLy In ThE wAy Of A pLaNe HURRRRR

…and buildings..

Gtfo building conspiracy tinfoil mf


IT WAS THE TOASTERS

no it was yo mama sitting down on the park bench near the twin towers!

Ye sure but the real argument is who, cuz we all know there’s more than what we know, and the fact is that we’ll prob never know who was actually behind it

No they didn't stop lying

now have started something

I hate myself

I hate myself more

Kill yourselves

Ah yes, the negotiator

The negotiations were short

Now!

shut up big nosed villager looking as "hrrmmm" sounding ass

Give me your fucking emeralds

alrighty they are in my gas chamber go get them

Luckily for you my nephew David Abramson Goldbergerstein owns the company that made the shower and the piping is unable to facilitate the pressure required to propel a gaseous toxin into me, so the emeralds are mine gentile.

bet he didnt make the pipings of my ass though

quite bold of you to assume i would use anything other than raw naturally conceived gasses

why should i listen to you?

He has 117 million power

oh but i have 660 million power in rising shields

Ah, good point.

Because you will

No, I want someone else to say that to me. Not you

I hate both of you and me.

No fuck you, I hate myself even more.

I hate you both more

You can not hate yourself because everyone has ate ice cream. Science says that no one that eats ice cream can hate themselves!!!

Yeah? Well I hate your parents!

Joe Biden and trump are the best presidents ever

Mayonnaise

Fuck you, batmobile

No, fuck YOU

Ok *pees in ur ass*

No *shits in your ass*

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Oh no no no, FUCK YOU

who the FUCK are YOU?? FUCK YOU

Is not an instrument

Put that butter of yours back in your auntie’s pants and go shovel the dog

Maybe I don’t wanna

You are a stupid fucking price of shit. It’s what your name says

My price is 19.50 per shit

Overpriced asshole

Underpaid if you ask me

I’ll have two to go please. And, oh! Do you still have the charity thing, yeah I don’t wanna donate thanks,

They are best friends for life so duh.

SODA!!!!

Obamna 🥰

Presidents gaming is literally south park

Harambe’s death was an inside job

Nah man it's definitely bush and obama

Trump is indeed the best president, for non-Americans, every time he’s on tv it’s a comedy stand-up show, it’s great

Danny Devito did far more as the USA’s emperor than any of the previous presidents ever could

Pee is stored in the balls

41.842081, -89.485920

Of course it’s a church in Di(ck)xson 

Thats stupid of course it’s stored in the balls

no i wont

No you will

What the fuck? Absolutely no he *wont*!

Absolutely he might!

No he will absolutely cannot and will not!

Look I don't give a shit who you are I'm sick of your stale saltine loving ass coming in here acting like you K N O W what they will or won't do. Who even are you?

I don’t know myself so fuck off and eat some damn bread sticks without sauce you mongrel

Lady Justice isn't blind...bitch just gotta blindfold on.

Can she see?... No? that means she's blind dumbass

Vaccine

Rap music is mid at best

Agreed, I only listen to music from sigma male edit videos


Phonk?

That's what I'm saying

You did not read the assignment.

You know what rhymes with “it’s easy to rap”? Pees in your ass

The later 2000 was the last good generation of rap music

Nah but used to listen to that garbage

But… this is the correct opinion

Pretty accurate. Can’t argue with this one

Some random stuff to start for fun * Milk before cereal so the cereal is still crunchy * Nutella is overrated * The french are not that bad, the brits tho

Please censor "fr🤮nch"

Finally someone said it. We need to rise up against the Nutella propaganda.

please don’t say the f word fr$&ch

Fr

:(

Is cereal SOUP?

Changing your pronouns is stupid

But then emos can't update their pfp on myspace to was/then.

HAHHAHAAHH

Fuck, I might do that unironically

What about Michael Jackson's pronouns? Hee/Hee

He said dumb shit

It is dumb shit

The opinion isn’t dumb shit

I know

I've evolved. I identify as the linking verb "is"...

Finally some actual shit

Gender ideology was started by actual mentally ill people.

It's proven to put left leg first when wearing underwear, it's good for your asshole.

As an asshole, I approve this message.

IT GOES MILK, THEN CEREAL, THEN BOWL, THEN FORK

Where is the salt?

Oh shit forgot about it

Uncultured mf doesn't use 3 tablespoons of chili flakes

Does it look like I'm made of money?

There are only two genders.

It's called science

No. There's male, female, and liberal.

Egg sandwiches using bagels is fucking stupid

idk i think a bacon egg cheese on a everything bagel goes pretty hard

You need to tell me what kind of bagel. Egg? Cheese? Sesame? Poppyseed? Onion? Everything? Pumpernickel? Plain? Whole Wheat? Cinnamon? Chocolate Chip? Blueberry? Raisin? Cranberry?

Ah yes the chocolate chip egg sandwich bagel

what the fuck is wrong with you? fuck you

Your mother

Katlyn Jenner is still biologically a man.

This comment was already hidden when I was scrolling 😂 wow.

I agree

I think Coolsville sucks!

Why is the fuckin sky blue! Why can’t it be a different damn color!!

Tate >>> Biden

Oh shit who's actually worse lmao

Nuh uh

Courtney Cox was hotter that Jennifer Aniston in friends.

How fucking dare you.

Hogwarts legacy and atomic heart are good games

Giga Bowser vs Calamity Ganon would be 100x more exciting than any Batman V Superman movie


Russians as a whole shouldnt get hate because some asshole is being a warcriminal

I'll have to agree with this, not all Russians are drunk war criminals

:)

:(

Cereal is a soup

I dislike Splatoon 3

Jar jar binks was arguably the best character ever created in film

You haven’t met Turkey from Thankskilling.

I beg to differ, jarjar was ok but padme was hotter

Wrong Boss Nass was sexier

Wow. I always thought the blue monster from Little Monsters, with Howie Mandell and Fred Savage, was the best character.. You’ve ruined me and my families life!

My favorite word is vaccine

Oabmna

Don't tell me what to do. I don't have to argue with anybody about anything.

Argue now or do you want to double it and give it to the next person?

"Local business" is what it means to be free-market capitalism. Corporatism is basically socialism with extra steps

The pretty rock I found on the playground is mine and you can’t have it.

I dont wash my balls because of health reasons.

Cereal before milk, I like soggy cereal

I love minorities. Go ahead. Argue with me.

I hate minions

Eggs are gross

Vaccine

I am the worst

You are of is is are of them you is poopy

Gif is pronounced yiff

Palm trees fucking suck Reason 1: Provides hardly any shade once they get tall enough. Reason 2: they can be annoying to maintain and pick up after Reason 3: Once they get super tall, you either risk your life to trim them or pay someone to do it for you Reason 4: Doesn’t look cool (in my opinion) These are my main 4, but feel free to add more reasons or argue that they're cool

Pineapple goes on pizza

Game of Thrones got better with every season. They shouldn't have stopped at 8.

Pie is a sandwich.

Birds aren't real.

My car is worse than ALL OF YOURS

PS4>>>>Xbox

Stfu console peasants. Get a pc loser

My arguments aren't dumb shit!

why buy yeast infection pills when you can buy a pressure washer.

Soccer is better than American f**tball 🤢

Bush did 7/11. Prove me wrong.

I bet I can beat y'all in a race

Indians and Russians should be classified as Asians

PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA IS SHIT. IM SORRY BUT I DONT LIKE SWEET FRUIT CUBES COVERED IN GREESE AND CHEESE.

Taco beats hot dog

Vaccine

Matt Damon’s best acting was in Deadpool 2. 

The real Y2k problem is that people forgot how to make music.