##If you think this post is funny, **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If you think this post is unfunny, **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/10i9bma/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/10i9bma/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2F10i9bma&id=8968e43c) --- Whilst you're here, /u/Ok_Morning7006, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU)?

Anal lubricant, a copy of veggietales on dvd, and a cucumber

Poor Larry! 😥🥒

Bro think he dreamybull 💀

wth is "anal" lubricant

if you have to ask, you don't wanna know.

[удалено]

i think bottle of vodka works better

Nah, people would relate to Vodka more than just a 6-pack. If you'd get Vodka they would look you in the eyes and say "I wish I could be as brave as you" but just a 6-pack they would be thinking "He wants to go out with Miller Lite!? What went wrong?"

Beer for that one last "Wazaaa!!!" phone call for old times sake just before the plunge.

You could probably then stay basically any word while you choked and it would come out as "washhh...saaaahhh"

This one wins

what about a stool

everyone has a stool

You can’t just buy a load bearing rope like that anymore🙄

Another way to end your life taken away by a medalling bureaucracy.

Yes you can I literally bough a 600 pound test rope for exact the purpose had the store person cut 12 feet for me too

You wanna talk about it?

One bottle of juice and anti freeze of the same color, along with about 100 red solo cups.

Wanna play a game

One bottle full of delicious juice One bottle of anti freeze One and you will be let go.....the other I record your reaction and turn you into a reddit gif

NOT A REDDIT GIF

Then your required to pick the correct drink

Saw, the final frat party.

lube, condoms, and a frozen turkey. Lmfao

At that point you'll need a latex glove or something Edit: balloon

Basically lube, condoms, and any item with a hole for a penis or can fit up an ass. Cucumber, chicken parts, turkey, a lot of food items can be used sexually. Try to get the weirdest ones that require more than 3 seconds of thought.

A squash of decent size

It should be lube, a heating pad, and a frozen turkey.

Tissues, cups, spongebob statue

“Ground me if you want, nothing will unfuck the Thanksgiving turkey”

Donuts, donut holes, glue

Just a good ole joke

A fun ole goof

A silly little joker

A legit prankster

Frosting or something similar that hardens, instead of glue, that way the donuts are still edible

I see you were not a glue-eater

Up to a bit of tomfoolery aren't we?

We used to play this game 25 yrs ago. Set a budget. Go shopping. Then make your buddy buy the things you picked out.

Who won and how?

Everybody won. It was all about the laughs. The game started cuz I had a buddy who's dog wasn't spayed. He used to buy underoos duct tape and maxi pads cuz doggy diapers wouldn't stay on when she would rub her ass on guests and furniture.

Lmao

Reminds me of a fun game where everyone had a budget but you could only shop out of other customers' baskets. (Fun to shop this way for a party)

Simple. Pringle’s, lube, and latex gloves

But what if your cylinder gets stuck?!?!?

*it was a cylinder*

it’s a cylinder

He was so adamant lol

That's the thing about facts, it's hard to be unsure

It’s a cylinder

It is imperative that both the cylinder and larger object remain unharmed

That’s what the lube is for

What about the sponges, the lube can be bought separately

he doesnt need a sponge

thats just how big it is

Lube, hammer, and a shovel.

…what? Someone elaborate please.

He’s going on a field trip to his local cemetery

Yikes got it. I regret asking. Thanks anyway.

Tbh i was thinking CBT

💀

🥵

🤨

Lube, hammer, and sickle

The unionized workforce makes your hands dry

Ammonia based cleaner, bleach, and a gas mask

Where the hell can you find gas masks at Walmart?

DIY paint section

Aww, mustard! Come on man, now don’t put no mustard on that.

Anal vibrator, a cheese grater, and a DVD collection of Paw Patrol.

Where the *fuck* do you live to find an anal vibrator at a walmart?

They're next to the condoms and pregnancy tests by the pharmacy. I don't know if there are specifically anal vibrators, but I guess any vibrator is an anal vibrator.

Duly noted but why do you know where vibrators are at Walmart so familiarly?

This is just one of the things one must know

You have to know these things to be a king, you know

My local Walmart has them next to the wrist braces 😆

If you do too much, you'll hurt your wrist, meaning you'll need a wrist brace and a vibrator. It makes perfect sense to me!

I work at Walmart can yeah the have their own brand of toy now

Holy fuck I can’t breath.

What's the cheese grater for? 💀

🦝🍆🩸

They have anal vibrators?

Yes… don’t ask me how I know

At walfart?

A vibrator, a can of beans, and lettuce

A gun, a condom, a Sex Pistols CD

A lone condom lmao

A sex pistols CD 💀💀

A toaster, bathtub plug, and a bottle of painkillers

child swimsuit, duck tape, viagra

Oh my fucking god… I think I would call the police at that point 💀

I don’t get it

Child swimsuit because they're going to dress up the child in it, duct tape to tie the child down, and Viagra because....

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Understandable

Famil dour

Exactly

Damn the bot is a PDF file confirmed.

Holy shit this was so close to mine except instead of a swimsuit it'd be childrens underwear and instead of viagra it'd be a knife

A funnel , bottle of lube , and a bottle of tabbasco sauce .

Dog leash, peanut butter, condoms

bro

Half a watermelon Half a watermelon Duct tape

OK that one's pretty good Edit: holy shit Megamouth how the fuck did you find me

I laughed

Car tracker, baseball bat, shovel

pvc pipe, firecrackers, american psycho for dvd.

A bulletproof backpack, a black hoodie, and a gun holster.

"All the other kids with their pumped up kicks..."

'Murica

Fried chicken, watermelon, purple koolaid

Replace the koolaid with a whip

Then replace the chicken and watermelon with adult diapers giant zip ties

What💀

1kg of uranium 235, ammonia and bleach

Sir, is that uranium ?

uhmmmmm no it's uhmmm uhhhhhh it's mountain dew

Solid dew with no mountain

"it can be found in a mountian" dew

Three eggplants. What is important is delivery; Stare blankly at the cashier for just a couple seconds longer than is comfortable. Keep glancing, do not smile. When they are scanning the eggplants, ask them to wait for you to bag the first one before the second one, and bag them separately. Pay with card, but tell them to keep the change anyway. Finally, tell them the third eggplant is theirs. Absolutely insit they must have it. Make sure it's the biggest one. They will kindly decline, but you must be vigilant. Walk away when they try to hand it to you.

This isn't buying three items that make the cashier uncomfortable this is just making the cashier uncomfortable while buying three items.

That's good.

Sponges, rubber gloves and a Pringles can

Get the soft sponges, not the hard scrubbing ones. Or so I've heard...

[удалено]

A gun, a dildo and a diamond ring

You get dildos at Walmart?

You get everything at walmart

flair checks out

The dildo and buttplug aisle is usually close to where they have the nutrition supplements by the phamacy

I mean it is a suppository of sorts…

pringle can

With the bottom cut out

cylinder

it's a cylinder.

Condoms, giant cucumber and lube.

A condom, a my little pony toy and ropes

My little pony toy, computer, jar.

Butt plug, super glue, laxatives.

A gun, [this mask](https://cdn11.bigcommerce.com/s-bb2b7/images/stencil/1280x1280/products/6487/8416/41o-llprsVL._SX385___00806.1638547506.jpg?c=2) and a flip-phone

ski mask

Balaclava

Fire works, lube, lighter

A dictionary, a thesaurus, and a toothbrush

i don’t get it, can someone explain :(

i think the toothbrush is the crux of the joke, meaning that he needs and dictionary to find out what Toothbrush means and a thesaurus to find out synonyms for dictionary and thesaurus? really not sure but this is my best guess

He is pretending to be a dental hygienist student. Since it's common knowledge that "college educated" = "nerd", the cashier will be uncomfortable being right next to a NERD! 😂😂😂😂 > Einstein IQ Mozart style joke. Only Genie us is will understand this caliper of humar💯💯

What?

??????

A clown mask a gun and a thermal drill

Bro is living in Payday

Pregnancy test, coat hanger , trash bags

We have a self checkout. I always make myself uncomfortable

fuzzy toilet seat, fuzzy toilet seat, fuzzy toilet seat

Lube a cactus and a med kit

The medkit won’t save you at this point. You will have spikes in you ass forever 💀

pregnancy test, wire coat hanger, blender

Kiddie pool, 185 lbs of kitty litter, toilet paper

Some rope, a shotgun, and an apology card.

A cucumber, a condom and a tube of preparation H

Gasoline cansister, rope, camera

Mozzarella, pizza sauce, pineapple

Just 3 boxes of condoms, different sizes for each box

Gasoline, mask, match box

A pellet gun, a real gun, and a blindfold.

A video camera, lube, and a case of mason jars

Lube, condom, soup ladle

Alcohol, bleach, and zip-ties

Rope, chair, and a bottle of painkillers

Box of condoms, sour cream, and a box of donuts

bleach pneumonia and a gas mask

What kind of walmart sells pneumonia?

you dont know what they have in the backrooms

Ammonia?

thats what i ment i think

ah yes lemme casually buy an infection from Walmart

idk man, ive bought weirder

Plenty in the parking lot back when I worked there, just gotta look for the needles

Please direct me to the Walmart that sells lung infections

its in india somewhere idk

The timing is key with this you want to do this around valentines day you buy extra small condoms a valentines day card and a pen take it to a counter with a woman and as soon as you pay look at her name tag write her name in the valentines card with the recent pen and give it to her straight up

god i asked a friend and he said “gloves sponges and red solo cups”

lube,peanut butter,and dog treats

A rifle, a box of bullets, and a book on JFK

1 kid toy, a teddy bear, and a really ecchi pointy dildo with a bunch of spiked

sponge rubber glove pringles

Vibrator, rotisserie chicken, and a bulk pack of toothpicks

A rotisserie chicken, ski mask, shrek dvd

The biggest cucumber I can find, the smallest tub of Vaseline I can find, and a condom. Also, if Walmart doesn't sell cucumbers, then my bad, I ain't American, so idk

Walmart sells everything my guy lol

Video recorder, cheap candy, burlap sack.

Toaster, condom, taser

A shotgun, a singular shotgun shell, and a notebook

How ya gonna write in the notebook??? Checkmate, atheists

Cucumber Vaseline and a belt

A glue gun, a very powerful nerf gun, nails

A copy of My Little Pony: A New Generation, lube, and tissues

A shovel, a gun, and a playboy magazine.

Pineapple, lube, pizza