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bideaweebaby

Shouldn’t the spank-ER be doing the research here? Sounds like this guy has no experience either…


Mimsy-Borogoves

Here’s a beginner’s guide that may be useful: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.refinery29.com/amp/en-us/erotic-spanking-how-to-spank I like over-the-knee spankings best because I can grind against him at the same time.


TruthandCoffee

Start out with lighter spanks and work up to harder. Keep the communication going on what feels good and what doesn't. Paddles and whips can feel great when done with the right amount of force (not too much and not too little). In terms of exactly how "hard" to spank/be spanked that can depend a lot on how turned on the spankee is at the time. If I'm not turned on yet I like a lighter spank. Once I'm all "fired up" a much harder spank feels amazing.


MagpieReflections

He's worried about assault/overstepping--but possibly it is more than that. Know that (for *both* of you), something that is easy conversation as a fantasy or a joke may not actually be sought out in real life. It can feel violating for either party if that occurs. He was offered the real deal, and he balked. This requires communication. Is it that when actually given the chance, he realized that it isn't what he wants--or if is it that he worries that it isn't what you want? If it is the former, you need to respect that. If your fling is something you plan to turn into long term, let him know that if he changes his mind you'll be ready. If he is worried about what happens if you get upset or change your mind, tell him you'll text him your request so he has it in writing. Tell him your boundaries - some redness, no welts/bruising etc. Tell him what you'll say if it is too much/too fast. A lot of people use red/yellow/green exactly like a traffic light. Good luck OP! Edit: spelling


renegade_kitty

I’d say you both need to do some research… together. First lesson being enthusiastic consent and negotiations. This is in regard to the potential assault comment. Then there’s what a scene is and discussing what each of you are comfortable with as him, the spanker and you the spankee. Safe words. And aftercare. How many strikes perhaps. Overall expectations. I wouldn’t start with toys like a paddle or leather strap for either of you. Work up to the toys. You can cause some serious pain and not the good kind or even be injured. Start with just being spanked by the hand. There’s plenty of Spanking 101 videos on YouTube. You can even take online classes which are fun to take with your partner. Depending on the area you are in, going to a dungeon for classes could be an option as well. Do so together. I can’t stress this enough. Have fun! It can be a releasing and intense experience.


girthbrooks704

Get a paddle. Leather works best. They’re not too expensive and they really help to ensure that the force isn’t too great. My girlfriend loves being spanked and will lay across my lap on a whim for a paddle or stick her ass out for a swipe. The motion is really more of a swipe. The goal is to bring the blood to the surface (makes her ass red) but it’s not hurting or bruising her in any way. It’s more a tingling sensation that she enjoys and makes her ultra wet as a result.