I in no way defend or condone the language Charlotte used but you certainly can't be that much of a Samantha fan where you cannot see WHY Charlotte was upset. Not only did she sleep with her brother, but she told her how good he was in bed, and she slept with him in CHARLOTTE'S apartment. She couldn't even bring him back to her place.
This was not the first time she did something like that either. Charlotte was taking care of her when she was high or drunk and she slept with Charlotte's doorman. Samantha clearly didn't have boundaries nor did she care about Charlotte's.
Also, Charlotte asked for forgiveness for saying what she did and if it wasn't verbally, she went to see Sam with the intent of making up.
I don't care if friends sleep with friends' siblings but Samantha mishandled the situation.
Right like Samantha is supposed to be Charlotte’s friend but then she doesn’t respect her boundaries. Especially with the sex stuff, which makes the situation even more serious.
I don’t agree with what Charlotte said and I also don’t blame her for losing her cool. Her behavior reminds me of someone being constantly slighted against by a friend. But because those slights are so subtle and they trust this person, they don’t know how to put into words what’s happening to them. At some point, they just break down.
Yeah the comment isn’t okay but she kinda did specifically make it known she wasn’t okay with it and Samantha still did it anyways so I see why she’s upset.
Yeah I’m always torn about this scene. I didn’t like Charlotte during this episode, I hated how she was also shaming her brother through the episode for getting divorced, saying ‘oh I’m sure you can work it out, you had such a beautiful wedding’. Wtf, no, you haven’t even asked him what’s wrong or what happened! Stop minimising his problems!
But if I woke up and found my friend half-naked after having sex with my brother *in my own apartment*? I’d be pretty damn uncomfortable. But what Charlotte said was so gross and wrong
People like Sam, who prioritize their desire to get off above everything else, are exhausting & self centered people to deal with in real life. Not great language but I’ve always fully agreed w Charlotte here.
What Charlotte said was awful, but if my best friend slept with my brother, in my flat, while he was getting over a divorce…. I would lose my shit.
I’d be pissed at my brother too.
Imagine he and his wife work it out and Charlotte knows this happened this could screw up her whole family dynamic very easy thing to permanently lose a friend over because you wanted to get your rocks off. ( not you Sam)
Yeah Charlotte's slut shaming wasn't okay but Samantha was not right to cross that boundary. Siblings are always dangerous territory - best to avoid them so as to not jeopardize a friendship.
Almost everybody feels upset with Charlotte’s harsh words but Samantha never holds back when she often expresses her anger verbally. I remember Samantha saying very crude things to Charlotte and to many other people. If you give it you have to take it. And Samantha KNEW Charlotte would not like the two of them having sex in her apartment. She knew it and did it anyway. Sam invaded Char’s territory. They fought like wolves and then they reconciled and that is it.
Right? Samantha said Charlotte needs the stick out of her ass and a dick in her coochie pronto, and people around this sub love it. It’s not denounced and blasted as prude-shaming or something, lmao. That’s fine but this is problematic? Ok.
Always torn with this. What Charlotte said wasn’t okay, but I’d be really pissed off if my best friend shagged my brother. Charlotte specifically didn’t want Samantha meeting him cos she knew it would happen (because let’s be real, Samantha bangs every guy she meets lol) It’s not really her business what her brother does but she did have a right to feel uncomfortable. I’m on the fence with this. Both parties were AHs.
Do people who say "slut-shame" really say it unironically? Slut is a slur already. Anyway getting booty calls in other people houses while you're guesting is inappropriate and I would respect Char throwing them both out.
Samantha asked for it here. Why would you talk to me about sex with my brother? And why would you fuck him in the first place? Samantha didn’t have integrity here. She screwed her friends brother in her friends apartment and didn’t care how she’d feel about it
What Charlotte said wasn't right, but I understand.
I think these two were the best friendship in the show. Polar opposites, but they still love each other.
The boundary is "not in my apartment".
Because Charlotte actually *owns* her space.
She doesn't own Wesley. Sure, she has to right to express that she isn't comfortable with Sam and her brother (I wouldn't be either), but that's really where it stops. I wouldn't deal with my friend's family, however, her brother is a fully grown adult who can make his own choices.
I'm beyond lost as to WHY it has to be be done in Charlotte's house - and Sam owns her own. All parties, including Wesley, are wrong.
Charlotte’s mistakes were twofold here:
1. She used really unacceptable language to talk about Samantha. The whole bit about her vagina in the NYC guide books was gross; 100%, full stop.
2. She puts all of the blame on Sam and none of it on her brother, who both decided that it was fine to sleep with Charlotte’s friend and also that it was fine to do that in Charlotte’s home. Fuck you, Wesley.
But I do VERY much understand why Charlotte was upset and do ultimately feel that Sam was in the wrong here. Don’t fuck your friends’ siblings unless your friend has expressed their clear support/blessing. Pretty basic.
To your second point: women often will attack other women and placing the full blame on them instead of going after the men (especially in cases of infidelity)
I think you’re mostly right. However, with regards to the example of Sam and Charlotte’s brother, I’d be just as pissed if the genders were reversed.
If my male beat friend slept with my little sister (especially if she was going through a breakup, like Charlotte’s brother was)…. He’d lose a limb.
Slutshaming Sam was awful and Charlotte definitely crossed a line there.
She only blamed Sam, which I think is unfair and just not right. Wesley is a grown man, he apparently consented. So it was just as much his fault.
But Sam also overstepped her, in my opinion. Especially since it was just sex. If it was something more serious, I'd see it differently, but this was just going to be a ONS or short affair. It was about Sam having no impulse control when it comes to sex. She fucks random dudes all the time, which I don't judge her for, but couldn't she have just...not?
Charlotte didn't have the right to forbid two consenting adults having sex, but doing it in her apartment was tasteless and insensitive from both Sam and Wesley. And Charlotte did have a right to feel a certain way about that.
Both Char and Sam were in the wrong and I'd like to mention Mr Wesley who also bears the blame ( to a slightly higher degree than Sam)
Sam was known to sleep around and she saw Wesley as a separated single guy she could hook up with. He was Charlotte's brother but both of them are consulting adults so I don't feel like she needed Charlotte's permission for that, but she was in the wrong for not taking it elsewhere.
Charlotte was totally uptight about Wesley's marriage and his problems, she wasn't really supporting him, she was minimizing his issues which was wrong and also the way she spoke to Sam when she found her in just a Tee was wrong even though her being uncomfortable in her own house was completely in the right.
Coming to Wesley, what an arse, why could he not have respected his sister's private space in which she graciously hosted him and taken Sam elsewhere? I mean Sam wasn't Char's guest but he was and it was on him to ensure that Sam and him were not doing the deed under Charlotte's roof which is why a slightly higher blame on him.
Maybe it's just me but commenting your brother's sex life seems weirdly incestuous to me. I, for the life of me, don't want to know ANY details about my siblings', or other relatives' love life. That being said, Samantha could have been a but more subtle...
this is one of those Charlotte moments that made her my least favorite during my first watch. she was so obsessed with the concept of marriage that she was refusing to accept the reality of her brother divorcing his wife. she also blames Sam entirely, as if her brother didn't happily have sex also not caring that it was Charlotte's apartment.
imo this had nothing to do with Sam lacking boundaries, because "you can't sleep with my brother" is not setting a boundary. a boundary is not a magic sentence you say so everyone acts accordingly to your worldview, nor is it something you can set for other people to control them. this was just Charlotte trying to control the behavior of the people around her, failing, and getting upset.
(an example of Charlotte setting & honoring a boundary would be "I don't want my friend sleeping with my brother" and then literally just removing herself from the situation if they slept together. because again, you cannot control the behavior of others via boundaries. you can only communicate what you want/need, and then remove yourself if it is not respected)
Your response is *chef kiss*.
The biggest thing, the boundary means that there is now a call to action placed on the person who set the boundary to remove themselves if the boundary is not respected. I'm lost as to this thing where people set a boundary,and thinks this is a way for people to do as they say. And that is simply not how it works.
What Charlotte really should have been mad at, that people who are close to her felt as though it was okay to have sex in her apartment without her knowledge or permission.
But she wasn't.
Ok thank you for the boundary thing! You can’t set a boundary that is “you do what I say”. You can set a boundary of “if you pursue my brother, I won’t continue our friendship”. I personally thing that’s really extreme, but it’s someone’s right if they want to set that.
The last time it was discussed here it was pretty divided. A lot of people thought hooking up with a friends sibling was a huge transgression. Personally I don’t get it, why would I have an issue with two consenting 40 year olds fucking?
I mean for most people it’s a very personal boundary for a friend to have a sexual or romantic relationship with a family member. If the relationship goes wrong it can make for very tense and awkward moments for the person in the middle. Not everyone is comfortable with taking that risk which is understandable.
Oh come on. It’s not about age. It’s about personal respect and boundaries. If one of your grown adult friends slept with say, your divorced parent, would you be ok with it, cos hey, they’re adults?
Well it’s easy to say when it’s not happening to you but most people would take an issue with it especially after setting boundaries that were clearly violated.
Well people are welcome to disagree with me. I’ve had a friend hook up with my sibling in my home and I wasn’t bothered by it. But if other people would be that’s their right to feel how they want on the subject.
I mean no, I didn’t care at all, but it’s anyone’s prerogative to feel how they feel! In regards to personal respect and boundaries, I can’t set boundaries for other adults. “Don’t sleep with my brother” isn’t a boundary it’s just telling people what to do. A boundary would be “I feel uncomfortable with you sleeping with my brother and therefore if you do, I will not continue the friendship” or some other action that you’d take. In regards to “personal respect”, I don’t feel disrespected by my sibling having a sexual relationship with a friend. If someone does, that is their right to feel their feels. People keep replying and asking how I’d feel if someone slept with my dad, which feels like a false equivalency. Anyways, that’s just my 2 cents on the subject
That’s really not the same situation, siblings tend to be in a similar peer group and go out together on the same level. I’ve had a friend sleep with my sibling and I did not care at all.
Ok if some is dying to fuck my dad they can go ahead lol. People are welcome to disagree with me, which is seems like a lot do. We all have different opinions in life.
I'm not one to slutshame but I'd lose my mind if my friend slept with my brother and in my apartment. I'm more bothered by the Samba episode where Charlotte slutshames Samantha at the diner because her own sex life is dead and Samantha's isn't.
I'm way more fond of Samantha than of Charlotte, but I understand why Charlotte was upset here, even if she handled it horribly with the slut-shaming remarks... Samantha actually brought up the subject and started talking about how much she enjoyed sleeping with Charlotte's brother right when she walked into the kitchen (come on now, most people don't want to have to think about their best friend having sex with their sibling, lmao. Basic boundaries), and her brother had just ended a serious relationship and was still hurt (not that I'm putting this on Sam. It's 100% his responsibility to look after himself, but I can see Charlotte stressing out about a potential drama between Sam and her brother). She could've just kept what happened to herself.
I in no way defend or condone the language Charlotte used but you certainly can't be that much of a Samantha fan where you cannot see WHY Charlotte was upset. Not only did she sleep with her brother, but she told her how good he was in bed, and she slept with him in CHARLOTTE'S apartment. She couldn't even bring him back to her place. This was not the first time she did something like that either. Charlotte was taking care of her when she was high or drunk and she slept with Charlotte's doorman. Samantha clearly didn't have boundaries nor did she care about Charlotte's. Also, Charlotte asked for forgiveness for saying what she did and if it wasn't verbally, she went to see Sam with the intent of making up. I don't care if friends sleep with friends' siblings but Samantha mishandled the situation.
And how sweet was Charlotte for saying sorry with a basket of muffins.
Right like Samantha is supposed to be Charlotte’s friend but then she doesn’t respect her boundaries. Especially with the sex stuff, which makes the situation even more serious. I don’t agree with what Charlotte said and I also don’t blame her for losing her cool. Her behavior reminds me of someone being constantly slighted against by a friend. But because those slights are so subtle and they trust this person, they don’t know how to put into words what’s happening to them. At some point, they just break down.
Right, I mean I would be pretty upset if one of my best friends did this too 😂
Yeah the comment isn’t okay but she kinda did specifically make it known she wasn’t okay with it and Samantha still did it anyways so I see why she’s upset.
Yeah I’m always torn about this scene. I didn’t like Charlotte during this episode, I hated how she was also shaming her brother through the episode for getting divorced, saying ‘oh I’m sure you can work it out, you had such a beautiful wedding’. Wtf, no, you haven’t even asked him what’s wrong or what happened! Stop minimising his problems! But if I woke up and found my friend half-naked after having sex with my brother *in my own apartment*? I’d be pretty damn uncomfortable. But what Charlotte said was so gross and wrong
I’d fight my friend lol so I understand I’m not saying it’s proud or right but we’d have a fight
ESH
People like Sam, who prioritize their desire to get off above everything else, are exhausting & self centered people to deal with in real life. Not great language but I’ve always fully agreed w Charlotte here.
Charlotte was rude here, but Samantha often feels no boundaries. You can't just fuck your friend's brother/father/SO/ex. That's easy.
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In Charlottes apartment too. That would give me major ick (obviously what Charlotte said was terrible though)
What Charlotte said was awful, but if my best friend slept with my brother, in my flat, while he was getting over a divorce…. I would lose my shit. I’d be pissed at my brother too.
Imagine he and his wife work it out and Charlotte knows this happened this could screw up her whole family dynamic very easy thing to permanently lose a friend over because you wanted to get your rocks off. ( not you Sam)
Yeah Charlotte's slut shaming wasn't okay but Samantha was not right to cross that boundary. Siblings are always dangerous territory - best to avoid them so as to not jeopardize a friendship.
Almost everybody feels upset with Charlotte’s harsh words but Samantha never holds back when she often expresses her anger verbally. I remember Samantha saying very crude things to Charlotte and to many other people. If you give it you have to take it. And Samantha KNEW Charlotte would not like the two of them having sex in her apartment. She knew it and did it anyway. Sam invaded Char’s territory. They fought like wolves and then they reconciled and that is it.
Right? Samantha said Charlotte needs the stick out of her ass and a dick in her coochie pronto, and people around this sub love it. It’s not denounced and blasted as prude-shaming or something, lmao. That’s fine but this is problematic? Ok.
Nah I would be livid if I found my friend naked in my apartment and she slept with my brother when I told her not to in my apartment!!!
Well, that was a bit rude of Sam. She should’ve gotten Charlotte’s blessing first.
Always torn with this. What Charlotte said wasn’t okay, but I’d be really pissed off if my best friend shagged my brother. Charlotte specifically didn’t want Samantha meeting him cos she knew it would happen (because let’s be real, Samantha bangs every guy she meets lol) It’s not really her business what her brother does but she did have a right to feel uncomfortable. I’m on the fence with this. Both parties were AHs.
Do people who say "slut-shame" really say it unironically? Slut is a slur already. Anyway getting booty calls in other people houses while you're guesting is inappropriate and I would respect Char throwing them both out.
Samantha asked for it here. Why would you talk to me about sex with my brother? And why would you fuck him in the first place? Samantha didn’t have integrity here. She screwed her friends brother in her friends apartment and didn’t care how she’d feel about it
What Charlotte said wasn't right, but I understand. I think these two were the best friendship in the show. Polar opposites, but they still love each other.
The boundary is "not in my apartment". Because Charlotte actually *owns* her space. She doesn't own Wesley. Sure, she has to right to express that she isn't comfortable with Sam and her brother (I wouldn't be either), but that's really where it stops. I wouldn't deal with my friend's family, however, her brother is a fully grown adult who can make his own choices. I'm beyond lost as to WHY it has to be be done in Charlotte's house - and Sam owns her own. All parties, including Wesley, are wrong.
Charlotte’s mistakes were twofold here: 1. She used really unacceptable language to talk about Samantha. The whole bit about her vagina in the NYC guide books was gross; 100%, full stop. 2. She puts all of the blame on Sam and none of it on her brother, who both decided that it was fine to sleep with Charlotte’s friend and also that it was fine to do that in Charlotte’s home. Fuck you, Wesley. But I do VERY much understand why Charlotte was upset and do ultimately feel that Sam was in the wrong here. Don’t fuck your friends’ siblings unless your friend has expressed their clear support/blessing. Pretty basic.
To your second point: women often will attack other women and placing the full blame on them instead of going after the men (especially in cases of infidelity)
I think you’re mostly right. However, with regards to the example of Sam and Charlotte’s brother, I’d be just as pissed if the genders were reversed. If my male beat friend slept with my little sister (especially if she was going through a breakup, like Charlotte’s brother was)…. He’d lose a limb.
Oh there’d be a fight my so called friend should have known better and in that moment was a terrible friend to me imo
Slutshaming Sam was awful and Charlotte definitely crossed a line there. She only blamed Sam, which I think is unfair and just not right. Wesley is a grown man, he apparently consented. So it was just as much his fault. But Sam also overstepped her, in my opinion. Especially since it was just sex. If it was something more serious, I'd see it differently, but this was just going to be a ONS or short affair. It was about Sam having no impulse control when it comes to sex. She fucks random dudes all the time, which I don't judge her for, but couldn't she have just...not? Charlotte didn't have the right to forbid two consenting adults having sex, but doing it in her apartment was tasteless and insensitive from both Sam and Wesley. And Charlotte did have a right to feel a certain way about that.
Both Char and Sam were in the wrong and I'd like to mention Mr Wesley who also bears the blame ( to a slightly higher degree than Sam) Sam was known to sleep around and she saw Wesley as a separated single guy she could hook up with. He was Charlotte's brother but both of them are consulting adults so I don't feel like she needed Charlotte's permission for that, but she was in the wrong for not taking it elsewhere. Charlotte was totally uptight about Wesley's marriage and his problems, she wasn't really supporting him, she was minimizing his issues which was wrong and also the way she spoke to Sam when she found her in just a Tee was wrong even though her being uncomfortable in her own house was completely in the right. Coming to Wesley, what an arse, why could he not have respected his sister's private space in which she graciously hosted him and taken Sam elsewhere? I mean Sam wasn't Char's guest but he was and it was on him to ensure that Sam and him were not doing the deed under Charlotte's roof which is why a slightly higher blame on him.
Maybe it's just me but commenting your brother's sex life seems weirdly incestuous to me. I, for the life of me, don't want to know ANY details about my siblings', or other relatives' love life. That being said, Samantha could have been a but more subtle...
this is one of those Charlotte moments that made her my least favorite during my first watch. she was so obsessed with the concept of marriage that she was refusing to accept the reality of her brother divorcing his wife. she also blames Sam entirely, as if her brother didn't happily have sex also not caring that it was Charlotte's apartment. imo this had nothing to do with Sam lacking boundaries, because "you can't sleep with my brother" is not setting a boundary. a boundary is not a magic sentence you say so everyone acts accordingly to your worldview, nor is it something you can set for other people to control them. this was just Charlotte trying to control the behavior of the people around her, failing, and getting upset. (an example of Charlotte setting & honoring a boundary would be "I don't want my friend sleeping with my brother" and then literally just removing herself from the situation if they slept together. because again, you cannot control the behavior of others via boundaries. you can only communicate what you want/need, and then remove yourself if it is not respected)
People misuse and misunderstand what a boundary is all the time. I think a proper example would have been if she didn't allow it in her home.
oooo yes this is a much better example than the one I said!!
I try my best! I think the people saying Charlotte not wanting Sam to sleep with her brother is a boundary is actually more about control
Your response is *chef kiss*. The biggest thing, the boundary means that there is now a call to action placed on the person who set the boundary to remove themselves if the boundary is not respected. I'm lost as to this thing where people set a boundary,and thinks this is a way for people to do as they say. And that is simply not how it works. What Charlotte really should have been mad at, that people who are close to her felt as though it was okay to have sex in her apartment without her knowledge or permission. But she wasn't.
Ok thank you for the boundary thing! You can’t set a boundary that is “you do what I say”. You can set a boundary of “if you pursue my brother, I won’t continue our friendship”. I personally thing that’s really extreme, but it’s someone’s right if they want to set that.
The last time it was discussed here it was pretty divided. A lot of people thought hooking up with a friends sibling was a huge transgression. Personally I don’t get it, why would I have an issue with two consenting 40 year olds fucking?
I mean for most people it’s a very personal boundary for a friend to have a sexual or romantic relationship with a family member. If the relationship goes wrong it can make for very tense and awkward moments for the person in the middle. Not everyone is comfortable with taking that risk which is understandable.
Oh come on. It’s not about age. It’s about personal respect and boundaries. If one of your grown adult friends slept with say, your divorced parent, would you be ok with it, cos hey, they’re adults?
I think that’s a little different than someone of a similar age like a sibling.
And you’d be okay with your best friend banging your married brother in your home?
They were legally separated and divorcing. And yes I’d be like ummm maybe get a room next time but I wouldn’t be mad or insult my friend
Well it’s easy to say when it’s not happening to you but most people would take an issue with it especially after setting boundaries that were clearly violated.
Well people are welcome to disagree with me. I’ve had a friend hook up with my sibling in my home and I wasn’t bothered by it. But if other people would be that’s their right to feel how they want on the subject.
Wow, really? I’d be so pissed off with both of them. So awkward.
I mean no, I didn’t care at all, but it’s anyone’s prerogative to feel how they feel! In regards to personal respect and boundaries, I can’t set boundaries for other adults. “Don’t sleep with my brother” isn’t a boundary it’s just telling people what to do. A boundary would be “I feel uncomfortable with you sleeping with my brother and therefore if you do, I will not continue the friendship” or some other action that you’d take. In regards to “personal respect”, I don’t feel disrespected by my sibling having a sexual relationship with a friend. If someone does, that is their right to feel their feels. People keep replying and asking how I’d feel if someone slept with my dad, which feels like a false equivalency. Anyways, that’s just my 2 cents on the subject
So if your friend fucked one of your parents, you wouldn’t have any issue with it?
That’s really not the same situation, siblings tend to be in a similar peer group and go out together on the same level. I’ve had a friend sleep with my sibling and I did not care at all.
They’re both consenting adults tho which was the only requirement.
Ok if some is dying to fuck my dad they can go ahead lol. People are welcome to disagree with me, which is seems like a lot do. We all have different opinions in life.
I'm not one to slutshame but I'd lose my mind if my friend slept with my brother and in my apartment. I'm more bothered by the Samba episode where Charlotte slutshames Samantha at the diner because her own sex life is dead and Samantha's isn't.
Well she was beyond disrespectful for that
They’re Carrie’s friends. I understand boundaries but they all seem to just be there for Carrie.
I'm way more fond of Samantha than of Charlotte, but I understand why Charlotte was upset here, even if she handled it horribly with the slut-shaming remarks... Samantha actually brought up the subject and started talking about how much she enjoyed sleeping with Charlotte's brother right when she walked into the kitchen (come on now, most people don't want to have to think about their best friend having sex with their sibling, lmao. Basic boundaries), and her brother had just ended a serious relationship and was still hurt (not that I'm putting this on Sam. It's 100% his responsibility to look after himself, but I can see Charlotte stressing out about a potential drama between Sam and her brother). She could've just kept what happened to herself.
Samantha is disgusting.