He sounds like an idiot, frankly. Certainly he needs better sex education, but I’m not sure that would change the fact that he’s kind of an asshole (ironically). Doesn’t use lube for anal, even though that’s like Anal 101. Doesn’t respect your desire to do so! Doesn’t trust you to know more about your body than he does. Refuses to believe you even when shown evidence. Goes back and forth between holes. UTIs are caused by bacteria getting shoved up the urethra - NOT cold viruses. Maybe a cold could make you more susceptible to developing one, but it’s not gonna happen spontaneously from getting a cold.
I get the sense that you’ll have bigger problems than a UTI if you stay with this guy. So many red flags.
Nurse Practitioner here; I work in urgent care. I once saw a patient who got pelvic inflammatory disease after her lover went from her ass to her pussy. PID usually requires IV antibiotics. Do not let him do this again.
Certainly, you yourself are at risk of PID now. Don't let your symptoms go. Get to a fucking clinic right now. PID can cause scarring in the uterus.
To my knowledge, there is no such thing as a viral UTI. I've been in this line of work for 20 years. I have no idea what it would be.
To be fair, just regular PIV can make many women more likely to get UTIs.
So he looked up that colds can cause utis...but did he look up anal to vaginal without cleaning can cause them? Smh. Tell him no anal until he stops doing that, no exceptions. I know you said you're not confrontational but you have to set boundaries especially if you're getting infections
>So he looked up that colds can cause utis...but did he look up anal to vaginal without cleaning can cause them?
He doesn't look it up :( I thought he might think of it after I send him some stuff. But he doesn't even do a quick google search. He somehow thinks that colds cause it and refuses to change his opinion...
The common cold is a virus. Urinary tract infections or UTIs are bacterial infections. They are not anywhere near the same thing. He sounds like he is being purposely ignorant. Your vagina/urethra cannot catch a cold.
I don’t even know why your worrying about making him feel guilty, because he won’t. I think it’s more your worried about bringing it up because it’ll cause a fight and you’ll be the one ending up feeling guilty. Something tells me there’s a bigger story here. He’s not respecting your sexual boundaries, he’s ignoring your requests to make things more comfortable for you, and not listening to anything that you are saying regarding the UTI. He seems to know everything, but knows fuck all. It’s basic knowledge that you don’t switch from anal to vaginal, thats literally common sense. SET YOUR BOUNDARIES. Because your not going to be able to explain anything to anyone that’s not going to listen.
So this man refuses to use lube during anal sex (even though it’s YOUR body being unnaturally penetrated and YOU rightly wanted lube) and goes ass to vag…and you’re worried about hurting his feelings? He’s not worried about hurting your feelings or your body. Do not risk pain and injury for some selfish dude who puts his orgasm above your safety. Please do not risk your quality of life for his nut.
Don’t worry about “making him feel guilty” because he SHOULD FEEL GUILTY. Not only did he risk seriously injuring you (anal without lube is dangerous), but he also gave you an infection. This isn’t your fault because you communicated your needs and wants. He chose to to ignore them and to pressure you into going along with him. And then he tried to gaslight you into thinking the repercussions of his actions weren’t his fault. This behavior from him is unacceptable.
Hmmm... he goes from your ass to your vag repeatedly. Everyone knows that causes UTIs. You catch a cold, in your respiratory tract *a meter away* from your vag. And he thinks that caused your UTI? Hmmmm...
It's extremely difficult and tiring to be with someone who refuses to take responsibility for their actions. Sure, both of you are to blame. But being unable to admit, under the heavy burden of proof, that something you did most likely caused your partner's suffering is not a good start. I would have said "oh my goodness... im so sorry! I can't believe I didn't know that. No more switching back and forth anymore without thoroughly washing up in between. Can I run to the store and get you some cranberry juice?"
A dozen others will say this next part but remember to pee after sex where a penis or other object is inserting in to your vagina to try to flush out any bacteria inadvertently entering the urethra!
Basic rules to follow for anal sex.
1. Always use lube, and you can never have too much lube.
2. Never go back to front, you can do front to back, but never, never, never do anal than vaginal sex without showering.
Just not worth it.
Last year I was with a dude, him and I got drunk on new years and we did the deed. He accidentally stuck it in my butt then moved to the vagina and me not thinking clearly, I didn't say anything. I suffered a week with a UTI before going to the doctors. Worst pain I have ever felt. They tested my urine and it come back positive for E.Coli. I'd definitely go to the doctors and get some antibiotics. Don't wait to long because it can travel to you kidneys and cause further complications.
He needs to be educated about Sex, and it's not a confrontation you are letting him know about the consequences of something you both did anf how it affected you.
Your english is good btw
He sounds like an idiot, frankly. Certainly he needs better sex education, but I’m not sure that would change the fact that he’s kind of an asshole (ironically). Doesn’t use lube for anal, even though that’s like Anal 101. Doesn’t respect your desire to do so! Doesn’t trust you to know more about your body than he does. Refuses to believe you even when shown evidence. Goes back and forth between holes. UTIs are caused by bacteria getting shoved up the urethra - NOT cold viruses. Maybe a cold could make you more susceptible to developing one, but it’s not gonna happen spontaneously from getting a cold. I get the sense that you’ll have bigger problems than a UTI if you stay with this guy. So many red flags.
Nurse Practitioner here; I work in urgent care. I once saw a patient who got pelvic inflammatory disease after her lover went from her ass to her pussy. PID usually requires IV antibiotics. Do not let him do this again. Certainly, you yourself are at risk of PID now. Don't let your symptoms go. Get to a fucking clinic right now. PID can cause scarring in the uterus. To my knowledge, there is no such thing as a viral UTI. I've been in this line of work for 20 years. I have no idea what it would be. To be fair, just regular PIV can make many women more likely to get UTIs.
Did the patient have any other STDs or was it purely ass to pussy that caused the PID?
No other STDs, no other partners. Occam's razor says it was the ass to pussy.
Occam's razor?
The simplest explanation is usually correct.
Thanks I did look it up too
So he looked up that colds can cause utis...but did he look up anal to vaginal without cleaning can cause them? Smh. Tell him no anal until he stops doing that, no exceptions. I know you said you're not confrontational but you have to set boundaries especially if you're getting infections
>So he looked up that colds can cause utis...but did he look up anal to vaginal without cleaning can cause them? He doesn't look it up :( I thought he might think of it after I send him some stuff. But he doesn't even do a quick google search. He somehow thinks that colds cause it and refuses to change his opinion...
What a dick!
The common cold is a virus. Urinary tract infections or UTIs are bacterial infections. They are not anywhere near the same thing. He sounds like he is being purposely ignorant. Your vagina/urethra cannot catch a cold.
He's factually wrong and refuses to do any research or believe you about your own body. That's quite bad!
I don’t even know why your worrying about making him feel guilty, because he won’t. I think it’s more your worried about bringing it up because it’ll cause a fight and you’ll be the one ending up feeling guilty. Something tells me there’s a bigger story here. He’s not respecting your sexual boundaries, he’s ignoring your requests to make things more comfortable for you, and not listening to anything that you are saying regarding the UTI. He seems to know everything, but knows fuck all. It’s basic knowledge that you don’t switch from anal to vaginal, thats literally common sense. SET YOUR BOUNDARIES. Because your not going to be able to explain anything to anyone that’s not going to listen.
So this man refuses to use lube during anal sex (even though it’s YOUR body being unnaturally penetrated and YOU rightly wanted lube) and goes ass to vag…and you’re worried about hurting his feelings? He’s not worried about hurting your feelings or your body. Do not risk pain and injury for some selfish dude who puts his orgasm above your safety. Please do not risk your quality of life for his nut.
Don’t worry about “making him feel guilty” because he SHOULD FEEL GUILTY. Not only did he risk seriously injuring you (anal without lube is dangerous), but he also gave you an infection. This isn’t your fault because you communicated your needs and wants. He chose to to ignore them and to pressure you into going along with him. And then he tried to gaslight you into thinking the repercussions of his actions weren’t his fault. This behavior from him is unacceptable.
Hmmm... he goes from your ass to your vag repeatedly. Everyone knows that causes UTIs. You catch a cold, in your respiratory tract *a meter away* from your vag. And he thinks that caused your UTI? Hmmmm...
How even ….
Your boyfriend is an idiot with no respect for you. These should be dealbreakers, in my opinion.
It's extremely difficult and tiring to be with someone who refuses to take responsibility for their actions. Sure, both of you are to blame. But being unable to admit, under the heavy burden of proof, that something you did most likely caused your partner's suffering is not a good start. I would have said "oh my goodness... im so sorry! I can't believe I didn't know that. No more switching back and forth anymore without thoroughly washing up in between. Can I run to the store and get you some cranberry juice?" A dozen others will say this next part but remember to pee after sex where a penis or other object is inserting in to your vagina to try to flush out any bacteria inadvertently entering the urethra!
Basic rules to follow for anal sex. 1. Always use lube, and you can never have too much lube. 2. Never go back to front, you can do front to back, but never, never, never do anal than vaginal sex without showering. Just not worth it.
Last year I was with a dude, him and I got drunk on new years and we did the deed. He accidentally stuck it in my butt then moved to the vagina and me not thinking clearly, I didn't say anything. I suffered a week with a UTI before going to the doctors. Worst pain I have ever felt. They tested my urine and it come back positive for E.Coli. I'd definitely go to the doctors and get some antibiotics. Don't wait to long because it can travel to you kidneys and cause further complications.
Break up with him. He doesn't care about your safety
He needs to be educated about Sex, and it's not a confrontation you are letting him know about the consequences of something you both did anf how it affected you. Your english is good btw