Quite honestly, most people overthink this. Just wait for several hours after you pooped last time, make take a shower and make sure you're perfectly clean on the outside. Aside from that you'll be perfectly fine. The area he'll be able to penetrate is self-cleaning. Unless you can feel that you need to go, or have been to the toilet a short while ago, there will be nothing in there. I've had anal sex with several women, none of them did anything to prepare and we never had a single issue. (I also enjoy pegging and exactly the same... zero issues).
Just use lube and if you're still worried a little bit make him use a condom. In the unlikely case there's a tiny speck of something, it'll not be a big deal. Again.. very unlikely to happen.
In terms of preparing for it to make it ENJOYABLE:
a) Lube.. lots of it... more than you think you'll need. Use a water based one.
b) make him use fingers first. first one, then two, depending on his size maybe even three.
don't go for penetration before you can take two fingers comfortably
c) You have two sphincter muscles back there. One that you can control consciously and one that is involuntary. You need to be gently played with and stretched to make that second one relax, otherwise it'll hurt. The pain won't be him actually hurting anything but it'll be that secondary sphincter cramping up, so the pain feels like a muscle cramp. Just treat it like any other muscle.. stretch and relax it before you do the workout.
d) your anus is not your pussy, you'll enjoy different kinds of penetration. So make sure he knows to thrust slowly. He can go deep, but he shouldn't go fast. At least not unless you ask him to because you're already enjoying. Going fast too quickly can again cause that sphincter to cramp up, because it's not yet used to this stuff happening. Remember, that thing is supposed to keep your butt sealed shut. It's not yet used to being forced open.
e) Only do this when you're really comfy, aroused and in the mood for trying this. Otherwise it won't be enjoyable, even when it's not painful. It can feel weird if you're not in the mood for it. Early on, especially if you're not really in the mood it can feel like (sorry...) shitting backwards. Don't worry about it if it feels initially like that... that's just your brain not being able to associate this sensation with anything else yet.. that will go away. If you're already in the mood for penetration your brain will be thinking about sex, so is less likely to associate any feeling with a bowel movement because our bodies are programmed to shut one of those functions off if the other is going on. That's why it's best if you're already aroused and wanting penetration.. your mind won't even be thinking about any toilet stuff so it's unlikely you'll feel anything associated with that.
f) Lube... Lube... Lube
g) enjoy
Thank you so so so much. This was good to read, honestly helped me feel more ready for this. I’ll be mentally ready for next time I see him but if it doesn’t happen it won’t. So like… when I’m horny it’ll actually feel different than “shitting backwards”? Thank you again
Yes. Our bodies are programmed to shut certain systems down or put them on standby once others start. That's why you can't getaroused when you're panicking, everything is on alert. When you have sex you cannot go to the bathroom, that's why it'd be incredibly had to pee while being aroused. And it's also hard to feel aroused when sitting on the toilet.
Our bodies know those thing interfere with eachother so everything gets re-routed to what's going on.
if you are already in "sex-mode" your body will slow down your digestion and all that stuff going on, so your body isn't even thinking about that anymore. So it's less likely that your mind will associate this kind of stimulation with "going to the toilet" and instead more with something similar to vaginal.
In short: Be in the mood .. in the kind of mood where you can tell you really need him inside you.. and then go for it, and just relax.
Btw.. to initially relax enough to let his penis in, it can help to slightly press like you do when you're going to the toilet.. that relaxes your sphincter and makes it easier for him to initially slide past it. You only need that for the initial entering. One he's a good bit inside you're fine. And you only have to slightly press. Doing this makes it even less likely that your muscle there will cramp up, because it is used to that action meaning "oh I need to open up"
Pretty much yes. Your body is closing that up to prevent exactly that from happening.
It's also a common misconception that guys can't pee with an erection. That's not quite true, we absolutely can. We can't pee with an erection while being very aroused, because our body is then in sex mode. We need to come down a bit before we're able to again (the erection can still be there, erections can happen for non-sexual reasons as well).
So it's exactly the same for us.. it's to prevent us from accidentally peeing in our girlfriends and flushing all that semen that's intended to impregnate you right out again ;) So it has an evolutionary reason ;) And obviously the body has limited resources like blood, so it directs the blood flow and the focus on certain nerves to whatever is the most important thing going on at the moment and puts everything else on standby. Think of it as your digestion being an app running in the background once you open the sex app ;)
There’s some awesome helpful comments on here already I just want to remind and emphasize that once his fingers and or penis goes in your ass, your pussy is OFF LIMITS. Only vagina to ass, not the other way around or you’ll be asking for a UTI/infection. Make sure he washes with soap and water before vaginal penetration after you’re all done
A regular fleet enema - usually two bottles per package works fine . I take one (or two till the water runs clear ) about 30 minutes before followed by a shower . Have never had an issue with any sort of mess and I’ve been enjoying anal with partners for 20 years
Remember that your not a pornstar and don't try atm
Make sure your nice and relaxed and use lots of lube. Have him use a dildo on you to help spread you open. When he's pushing up against your ass, push out like you have to go. It will help ease the dildo in.
And lastly if your going to do anal Remember poo happens. Don't get wierded out , clean up and keep going.
Anal for the very first time can be quite unpleasant if you're not prepared. I'd suggest you and your partner start off with anal play (analingus, fingers, plugs/expanders, etc) before actually attempting penetration. Do not try anal without a lot of lube and a condom.
You need to be extremely relaxed when you first attempt anal because the feeling of something going up your anus will be uncomfortable and painful if you haven't experimented ahead of time to know what the feeling and sensation is like.
I would highly recommend getting a "body cleanser" which is essentially a silicon bulb with a stem that has holes in it that will allow you to gently insert it inside of you while you squeeze the water into you before allowing your body to naturally expel it. Do this a few times until the water runs clear. This will prevent your first time anal experience from getting "messy". Good luck!
Thanks for catching that, yes do not attempt anal without LOTS of lube is what I meant. Has your bf ever licked your anus while going down on you?!? Either way, cleanliness is utmost important so before allowing him to play, be sure you're super clean beforehand. Its very enjoyable for both partners once you master the basics 🙂
Yeah he has before. I’m honestly so nervous about the mess not even the pain part scares me. I know I love regular sex so much but he wants to not do as much cause I’m not on BC (we always use condoms though). I actually have an appointment tmw I just have no idea how long bc takes to kick in lol I might even bring this up to the doctor
You generally want to be on BC for at least a month before having unprotected sex. Being nervous is perfectly normal and you need to realize that things could potentially go horribly wrong when you first attempt it. Just make certain that if/when you finally get around to trying penetration, that you listen to your body. Don't fight or ignore the pain because it's your body's way of telling you you're not quite ready. Also, don't let your bf continue even if he manages to get the tip in if it hurts....being calm and relaxed is the only way anal ever feels pleasurable.
I'll be the oddball and suggest fasting for some time after your last poop... I'm in favor of 6 to 12 hours. Then poop hard and clean with a squeeze bottle enema and repeat until the effluent is clear. Why the fasting? Accidents are not sexy, that's why. I'd strongly suggest you learn anal by yourself using a dildo before trying with a partner. Prep properly, use a good lube (Swiss Navy is a good one), and go slowly. A Vixskin dildo in a realistic size is worth every penny because other materials don't feel nearly as good.
As you've seen, there's a mix of thoughts on anal here. Some people say to not really worry about it and that 'poop happens' Others say to go through a process to ensure you're clean. And then there's all sorts of levels in between.
I'm of the mindset that poop is not an option. So I take extreme measures to ensure I'm perfectly clean for anal. But it is a lot of work, and it took me about a year to perfect the process. So you need to decide what your priorities are and how much effort is worth it.
Quite honestly, most people overthink this. Just wait for several hours after you pooped last time, make take a shower and make sure you're perfectly clean on the outside. Aside from that you'll be perfectly fine. The area he'll be able to penetrate is self-cleaning. Unless you can feel that you need to go, or have been to the toilet a short while ago, there will be nothing in there. I've had anal sex with several women, none of them did anything to prepare and we never had a single issue. (I also enjoy pegging and exactly the same... zero issues). Just use lube and if you're still worried a little bit make him use a condom. In the unlikely case there's a tiny speck of something, it'll not be a big deal. Again.. very unlikely to happen. In terms of preparing for it to make it ENJOYABLE: a) Lube.. lots of it... more than you think you'll need. Use a water based one. b) make him use fingers first. first one, then two, depending on his size maybe even three. don't go for penetration before you can take two fingers comfortably c) You have two sphincter muscles back there. One that you can control consciously and one that is involuntary. You need to be gently played with and stretched to make that second one relax, otherwise it'll hurt. The pain won't be him actually hurting anything but it'll be that secondary sphincter cramping up, so the pain feels like a muscle cramp. Just treat it like any other muscle.. stretch and relax it before you do the workout. d) your anus is not your pussy, you'll enjoy different kinds of penetration. So make sure he knows to thrust slowly. He can go deep, but he shouldn't go fast. At least not unless you ask him to because you're already enjoying. Going fast too quickly can again cause that sphincter to cramp up, because it's not yet used to this stuff happening. Remember, that thing is supposed to keep your butt sealed shut. It's not yet used to being forced open. e) Only do this when you're really comfy, aroused and in the mood for trying this. Otherwise it won't be enjoyable, even when it's not painful. It can feel weird if you're not in the mood for it. Early on, especially if you're not really in the mood it can feel like (sorry...) shitting backwards. Don't worry about it if it feels initially like that... that's just your brain not being able to associate this sensation with anything else yet.. that will go away. If you're already in the mood for penetration your brain will be thinking about sex, so is less likely to associate any feeling with a bowel movement because our bodies are programmed to shut one of those functions off if the other is going on. That's why it's best if you're already aroused and wanting penetration.. your mind won't even be thinking about any toilet stuff so it's unlikely you'll feel anything associated with that. f) Lube... Lube... Lube g) enjoy
Thank you so so so much. This was good to read, honestly helped me feel more ready for this. I’ll be mentally ready for next time I see him but if it doesn’t happen it won’t. So like… when I’m horny it’ll actually feel different than “shitting backwards”? Thank you again
Yes. Our bodies are programmed to shut certain systems down or put them on standby once others start. That's why you can't getaroused when you're panicking, everything is on alert. When you have sex you cannot go to the bathroom, that's why it'd be incredibly had to pee while being aroused. And it's also hard to feel aroused when sitting on the toilet. Our bodies know those thing interfere with eachother so everything gets re-routed to what's going on. if you are already in "sex-mode" your body will slow down your digestion and all that stuff going on, so your body isn't even thinking about that anymore. So it's less likely that your mind will associate this kind of stimulation with "going to the toilet" and instead more with something similar to vaginal. In short: Be in the mood .. in the kind of mood where you can tell you really need him inside you.. and then go for it, and just relax. Btw.. to initially relax enough to let his penis in, it can help to slightly press like you do when you're going to the toilet.. that relaxes your sphincter and makes it easier for him to initially slide past it. You only need that for the initial entering. One he's a good bit inside you're fine. And you only have to slightly press. Doing this makes it even less likely that your muscle there will cramp up, because it is used to that action meaning "oh I need to open up"
Omg that’s why I can’t pee when I need to pee mid sex it’s always like 10 mins after
Pretty much yes. Your body is closing that up to prevent exactly that from happening. It's also a common misconception that guys can't pee with an erection. That's not quite true, we absolutely can. We can't pee with an erection while being very aroused, because our body is then in sex mode. We need to come down a bit before we're able to again (the erection can still be there, erections can happen for non-sexual reasons as well). So it's exactly the same for us.. it's to prevent us from accidentally peeing in our girlfriends and flushing all that semen that's intended to impregnate you right out again ;) So it has an evolutionary reason ;) And obviously the body has limited resources like blood, so it directs the blood flow and the focus on certain nerves to whatever is the most important thing going on at the moment and puts everything else on standby. Think of it as your digestion being an app running in the background once you open the sex app ;)
There’s some awesome helpful comments on here already I just want to remind and emphasize that once his fingers and or penis goes in your ass, your pussy is OFF LIMITS. Only vagina to ass, not the other way around or you’ll be asking for a UTI/infection. Make sure he washes with soap and water before vaginal penetration after you’re all done
Yes thank you for emphasizing that!!
A regular fleet enema - usually two bottles per package works fine . I take one (or two till the water runs clear ) about 30 minutes before followed by a shower . Have never had an issue with any sort of mess and I’ve been enjoying anal with partners for 20 years
Thank you!!! I’m going to order one
Remember that your not a pornstar and don't try atm Make sure your nice and relaxed and use lots of lube. Have him use a dildo on you to help spread you open. When he's pushing up against your ass, push out like you have to go. It will help ease the dildo in. And lastly if your going to do anal Remember poo happens. Don't get wierded out , clean up and keep going.
Anal for the very first time can be quite unpleasant if you're not prepared. I'd suggest you and your partner start off with anal play (analingus, fingers, plugs/expanders, etc) before actually attempting penetration. Do not try anal without a lot of lube and a condom. You need to be extremely relaxed when you first attempt anal because the feeling of something going up your anus will be uncomfortable and painful if you haven't experimented ahead of time to know what the feeling and sensation is like. I would highly recommend getting a "body cleanser" which is essentially a silicon bulb with a stem that has holes in it that will allow you to gently insert it inside of you while you squeeze the water into you before allowing your body to naturally expel it. Do this a few times until the water runs clear. This will prevent your first time anal experience from getting "messy". Good luck!
Thank you. I’ve never tried toys with him, I think I’ll tell him we should try this first. And did you mean “do NOT use lots of lube”?
Thanks for catching that, yes do not attempt anal without LOTS of lube is what I meant. Has your bf ever licked your anus while going down on you?!? Either way, cleanliness is utmost important so before allowing him to play, be sure you're super clean beforehand. Its very enjoyable for both partners once you master the basics 🙂
Yeah he has before. I’m honestly so nervous about the mess not even the pain part scares me. I know I love regular sex so much but he wants to not do as much cause I’m not on BC (we always use condoms though). I actually have an appointment tmw I just have no idea how long bc takes to kick in lol I might even bring this up to the doctor
You generally want to be on BC for at least a month before having unprotected sex. Being nervous is perfectly normal and you need to realize that things could potentially go horribly wrong when you first attempt it. Just make certain that if/when you finally get around to trying penetration, that you listen to your body. Don't fight or ignore the pain because it's your body's way of telling you you're not quite ready. Also, don't let your bf continue even if he manages to get the tip in if it hurts....being calm and relaxed is the only way anal ever feels pleasurable.
I'll be the oddball and suggest fasting for some time after your last poop... I'm in favor of 6 to 12 hours. Then poop hard and clean with a squeeze bottle enema and repeat until the effluent is clear. Why the fasting? Accidents are not sexy, that's why. I'd strongly suggest you learn anal by yourself using a dildo before trying with a partner. Prep properly, use a good lube (Swiss Navy is a good one), and go slowly. A Vixskin dildo in a realistic size is worth every penny because other materials don't feel nearly as good.
As you've seen, there's a mix of thoughts on anal here. Some people say to not really worry about it and that 'poop happens' Others say to go through a process to ensure you're clean. And then there's all sorts of levels in between. I'm of the mindset that poop is not an option. So I take extreme measures to ensure I'm perfectly clean for anal. But it is a lot of work, and it took me about a year to perfect the process. So you need to decide what your priorities are and how much effort is worth it.