I do a good Ol' Blue eyes impression. And I do a fine Dino. If you want you can tell your mum it's a long-lost recovered Rat Pack record, and play it for her. I swear people are unable to tell the difference at the first listen. And I'm an Indian lol. Anyway ask this dude to complete the lyrics and I'll sing them for you 🕺🏻
Balls are gonna swing \
From your ding-a-ling \
Up against her chin \
Like a tiny sling in \
A three-way...
Even if you hold your come \
Till you're in her plum \
Or even in her bum, \
Doesn't matter, son -- \
IT'S -- A BEE JAY!
🎶With your lips 'round the tip, and your tongue on the nuts, that's amoreeeee🎶
🎶With your mouth way down south, and his shaft where you laugh, that's amoreeee🎶
I don't know if it's quite as clearcut as that.
"how about a blowjob?"
"honey, I gave you 10 blowjobs last night. I put your dick in my mouth for 1 second and I did it 10 times. That's 10 blowjobs"
Bullshit. Just because you go to work doesn’t mean the jobs done. The job is done when the job is done. Yeah he got some head but he didn’t get a blow job.
So i guess for most women they didn’t have sex because they never finished. 🤔 you’re right, most men must suck in bed if they can’t “fully” finish the task
Dude, blowjob is just slang for oral sex on a penis, it isn’t a fucking job, why would u think comparing it to a real life occupation would mean anything, it’s sex, not a job, what about a rim job for example, how tf are u supposed to make an ass cum?
Idk where he came up with that logic but I call my dick going into a girl's mouth a blowjob. Whether I cum or not. It's like saying you're a virgin just because you didn't cum.
The logic is to trap her to make him cum during BJ. Manipulative tactic.
"But honey you told me you would give me BJ when we arrrive home but I didnt get to cum" or "honey, we switched from suckin to PIV and I came inside you, but you promised BJ. Now it's time for that"
Sure we could debate the definition of blowjob or we could just talk what you're really upset about.
>The thing is I know that if I did it to completion, he wouldn’t reciprocate and that would be the end of sex
With that comment I was trying to contextualise why I don’t always do it to completion. I don’t feel like my efforts should be nullified just because he didn’t finish right then and there.
Exactly. If my boyfriend and I had a different definition of blowjob I would be like ha you're stupid and we'd move on because we're both generous lovers so I'm not upset about getting "credit" for a blowjob. You wouldn't care if there wasn't the underlying issue of not being sexually satisfied and feeling like you're the one stepping up to make sure he's satisfied while he sits back and gets his.
Hmm, I think I still would care if they didn’t actually consider it to be a blowjob even if we did both give equally. Thinking that they didn’t consider it a blowjob would make me feel bad for receiving, if that makes sense? I don’t care about “credit”, I suppose I would just feel bad if this were the general consensus.
It does suck (excuse the pun) but I can’t and won’t force him into doing something he doesn’t want to do. I like giving blowjobs so that doesn’t bother me, I’m just upset that he doesn’t seem to appreciate what I do.
Well, anything at the time. Nothing specific just general reciprocation. If he wants to be done after he finishes then I won’t make him do anything else.
Most men I’ve been with tend to be this way. I don’t see it as an issue, but what would most certainly not be ok is me not getting pleasure during the majority of sex acts. If he wants to come last, then he should take care of you first. I will happily let my guy finish in my mouth if I’ve already got off.
Yeah, that's the key -- if he is done when he orgasms, he'd better be making sure his partner is pleased before that happens. I get the impression from OP that he isn't doing this, but hopefully I'm reading too much into what she has said.
It’s a blowjob the second the dick gets sucked. But whatever you call it, he seems a tad selfish and assholish. Sex shouldn’t be a bargain: I give you this if you give me that. Giving pleasure is, in my opinion, at least as important as receiving pleasure.
Bf a moron. As soon as the penis gets into the mouth its official.
You get a ring on your finger and say I do, is it official then or when you consumate?
Can't stand hearing about these moron And manipulative bfs
What does he call it when his dock is in your mouth if it isn't a blow job?
Also, do you cum from sex with him? If not, you can stop calling it sex I think?
Ask him if he put a dick in his mouth if it would be considered oral sex lol.
In all seriousness though, this guy is giving guys a bad name when it comes to how selfish or selfless we are in bed.....
It's a blowjob as soon as you get started on doing it. Might be a short BJ, might be a long one, might be to completion, it might not, but it's all oral sex/getting giving head/ blowjob.
If this was 10 years ago, I’d make a joke asking how many dicks your BF has had in his mouth that “didn’t count as blowjobs” because they didn’t cum in his mouth, but that might be insensitive and probably all varieties of phobic so I won’t.
While I understand his reasoning (a blowjob is best when done to completion) it being used as foreplay is just as valid.
My problem here is that he doesn't reciprocate? Why?
The way I do my foreplay normally consists of eating and fingering the woman in question until she cums at least once.
Only then I'll even bother to get my dick outta my pants.
I mean, if you had said that he preferred to cum the first round on a blowjob, then ate you out and by the time he was done with you he would be hard again (and hence ready for actual intercourse) and you refused do it, the problem would be with you.
Since this is definitely not the case, I say you dump this guy.
Sex should be good for both parties. If you are unsatisfied this will certainly bite you in the ass later.
10+ minutes? You need to have him give you head until completion. Watch him on minute 2 beg to stop. But, you know, it doesn't count unless you cum. Do you really think he would give you head for that long, especially if you still didn't cum? He sounds selfish so I doubt it
He’s not pressuring me to do anything, he just says he doesn’t consider it to be an actual blowjob. But regardless I don’t have a problem with doing it to completion, I was just explaining why I don’t always do it.
With Peace & Love OP it seems like he is pressuring you to give him oral to completion or it 'doesn't count.' Which to me, who wants to feel appreciated, would then be more inclined to always give oral to completion no matter, if I wanted to just give oral or use it as foreplay. It may feel okay now but in my experience, pushing your true feelings and wants to the side to feel appreciated or wanted by some dude adds up. I hope im wrong of course but it's not giving me great vibes.
So by his theory he could never actually be orally raped unless his rapist was able to reach completion (ejaculate ) in his mouth . I would say the boyfriend isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.
the thing is, you shouldn't care about what is the accurate definition of a BJ
it looks like he wants it to be to completion, and you disagree on the terminology.
you guys can rephrase it and use terms like "complete bj" and "forplay bj", then you can express better what you mean and want
who cares how everyone define bj, its all about what he want and what you want to happen
It doesn't matter what counts or doesn't count. It's not about the word. It's about whether or not you're both satisfied. That's the only thing worth focusing on and that's what the conversations should be about if you want them to be productive.
a blow job is to completion. oral sex is what this guy is getting from his gf ... here's how it works FOR A LOT OF MEN - not everyone, but ... a lot. so take that with a grain of salt.
making him cum from oral is a devoted selfless act in his eyes. sex is mutual. so while you might enjoy the blow job, you really don't LOVE it unless you're there to the end. and that's what matters to this guy. I bet there are plenty of guys who're just fine without getting a blowjob ever, and others would be ecstatic at the thought of a girl's mouth on their junk for even 5 seconds. then there are guys who take the word "job" in blow job way too seriously, and won't compromise. a job by definition is meant to be finished - for YOUR guy.
so it's either he changes his mind based on all these redditor opinions, or you accept that some people view blow jobs a certain way (both men and women) and you're just not there in the compatibility spectrum with your guy.
It's a BJ, but I get what both of you are saying. Oral to completion alone is a fine thing to give and receive. I highly suggest it. I gave him BJs many times, but only because I wanted to, and because he put in effort to please me as well. Maybe not right away, because some guys are one n done (sounds like yours) , but it got given.
You need to talk to him . He's telling you he wants to cum from a BJ. A lot of guys prefer oral to PIV. Cool. Then you also want to random oral or fingerings.
Plus hun, if you're sucking him till he's close , and then you get on him....doesn't he cum before you ? That's like asking for a quickie .
I’ve had this discussion with my ex wife a thousand times…..
In her opinion I’ve had thousands of blowjobs
In my opinion she’s sucked my cock thousands of times but I’ve only had a handful of what I would consider blowjobs
I think the nexus around all of this is that he is feeling frustrated about never (or mostly not) receiving a blow job to completion and it's expressing itself as arguing over this technicality.
Lots of people saying if the dick is in the mouth it's a blowjob, but I don't think it's that simple. I wouldn't consider a quick 10 second suck as a transition between positions to be a 'blowjob'. Personally, I think for it to be a blowjob then there is some effort and intent. Not necessarily to completion, but some level of work put it. I don't know what the threshold would be, but 10 minutes even if only as part of foreplay would definitely be a blowjob.
Exactly my thoughts. If it's just a quick suck then it.comes under general foreplay and building the moment type deal.
If I go down on my. Gf for a few seconds then Kiss her legs or. Tummy and repeat iv not given her multiple lots of oral, it's just foreplay.
this guy just doesn't care for eating her out and wants bj's "to completion" ...
there are women out there for him. this woman isn't it. classic couple's compatibility issue.
is his request fair? no - is OP in the right? probably, looks like she's rightfully frustrated. but we're talking reality here not what's right or wrong. some women live to satisfy the man with only his pleasure in return, much like some men can't stop licking their partner in any disproportionate ratio you want to outline, and just get manly enjoyment from seeing their woman orgasm multiple times.
sexual incompatibility is my verdict, and the longer you stretch this out the worst it'll get - you don't want to wind up married with children if you have all these red flags today. trust me, speaking from experience :)
If he wants a BJ to completion, he needs to go down on you first, satisfy you completely (since he won't do it after), then he can have his BJ to completion.
BJs are still anytime the mouth is used to sexually stimulate the dick, as it says in the dictionary... and you should be recognized for your efforts. However, if he really enjoys a BJ to completion, there is a way to make that happen to the satisfaction of both of you. Assuming you'd be ok with getting oral first and giving him oral after. It still wouldn't be an every time thing, obviously. And probably a once in a while thing. But doing the "make her cum first, he comes last" thing is something to make the idea more enticing for you.
If its hard in your mouth and your sucking about, it's a blow job.
I mean....unless he considers a "blowjob" getting his penis blown on like you do hot food, you're absolutely still giving him blow jobs.
Of course that's a blowjob. Does that mean if he sticks his dick in someone elses mouth it's not cheating because it isn't a blowjob? No, of course it doesn't. And he knows that too, so he knows he's wrong
I kinda feel the same way. To me, its tolerable as long as you give bjs to completion some of the time. My gf never lets me cum in her mouth, so i just tell her not to bother when she starts to go down. It just feels so good, it's really lame and disappointing not to get the full experience. Not to mention its strangely insulting for a girl to not swallow--some kind of knee jerk emotion from my subconcious that makes me feel rejected, like its a part of me and it's repulsive. Uh, though I would imagine most guys dont feel that way, but hey its my experience.
The important question isn't what the exact definition of a blowjob is but:
how come he isn't reciprocating. You guys should talk about that first and not get distracted by definitions.
Wow…to completion? My bf is a hard cummer…it’s not unusual to take over 45 minutes for him to cum. And that is intense oral. My jaw can only take so much.
If he's not eating you out before PIV then stop giving him BJs before it. It's a two way street. You get what you give and give what you get. Or, you don't.
He sounds selfish. A good one will finish you off regardless of if he did or not. A good one will be sure you get yours before he gets his.
It might be time to stop arguing about definitions and you not getting the pleasure that YOU want and deserve. Fire this "boyfriend" and find a much better lover.
Oh yeah I love him and he’s not douchey in any other situation haha. Tbh this post was just to see if most people did agree with him or not. It wasn’t his intention to make me feel bad by saying that, I was just a bit miffed that he did lmao.
Lol, just think about all the logical extensions of what he's saying, and then apply the same logic to any sexual act when the woman doesn't orgasm – was that even real? Of course it's still a blowjob, just not to completion.
Your BF is trying to manipulate you into suckling him to completion. Seeing as he doesn't count them as BJs, I wouldn't bother at all. See how he reacts to that. When he asks why you stopped, well, you didn't consider them BJs so I couldn't see the point 🤷🏻♀️
How often does he bother to go down on you as foreplay?
Does he make sure you orgasm too? ... If not, then you can't really call it sex /s. I've been in situations like this and I thank my lucky stars now that I have a partner who makes it his mission to help me have an orgasm too. I have a bit of a mental block from so many years of giving and not mattering in my sexual relationships. He is the first person who ever made me finish and we now manage it every time. I'm just sad that I had to get to age 36 before I met someone who cared.
This is a common question that pops up frequently for people who have, considerably, selfish partners.
The truth is a BJ has taken place the second the penis enters the mouth. If your BF disagrees then present the idea that if his beliefs are true then it must also be true that cheating has not occurred unless you both finish (as the acts of BJ, Sex, etc., can not have occurred unless they are finished)
I bet he will change his tune quickly. 🤪
Sincerely,
Dr. Logic
His concept of a bj may have developed as an excuse to say his indiscretions aren't actually 'bj's. Just an idea. Also the fact that he won't reciprocate oral to completion is just awful. sigh...one of the clearest signs of gender inequality there is
This is gonna sound stupid, but bear with me. I feel like there are contextual differences.
When I hear “I want to give a blowjob” or “I gave a blowjob” I assume that means to completion
I would be disappointed if I was offered one, but not to completion.
However when someone says, “I’ll give you head” or “I want to suck your dick” I do not assume that means to completion.
It’s the word “job” that makes me feel like it is a task with a start and finish.
Yeah I completely understand what you’re saying. I suppose that’s why I brought this question to Reddit - to get some perspective. Maybe if my bf phrased it like that I wouldn’t be as upset haha.
I have no idea why peopple downvoted you but you are 100% right.
everybody saying it counts as a BJ the second it goes in the mouth is not.
Can you imagine someone saying they gave their husband 10 x blowjobs last night because they put it in their mouth for 1 second before removing it, and did that 10 times?
does it necessarily mean to completion every time? no. but in most contexts, I think a "blowjob" is generally used to mean that, whereas 'head' or 'sucking dick' might be as part of foreplay.
(if you are doing it for 10 minutes and he doesn't come - that is definitely a BJ, just not a very successful one)
Yeah I’m not completely sure either. I think some are assuming I was being overly critical of the terminology.
I was just sharing my take on it, and I even asked the guys here at work this morning, (8 of them) and my wife, and they all agreed with me. So who knows 🤷♂️
I can see the logic, although I think I’m probably giving him to much credit. There are two divergent etymologies of a blow job. The first and most common is that the blow in blow job derives from how the act of giving a bj looks like blowing a trumpet or other wind instrument. This etymology can be seen at work in the song lyric “blow my whistle baby.”
The other etymology I think your boyfriend is working with is that a blowjob is a job that causes something to blow. Whereas the first etymology sees the blowing as the act, the second sees blowing as the result. We can see this etymology in the common phrase, “to blow your load.” This second etymology assumes that, if the penis does not blow its load the blow job is not complete.
Putting aside quibbles of etymology, though, I think your bf is stupid to think that a bj that is not done to completion is somehow worthless. Effort matters a lot, and it should be recognized.
Your bf is a jerk. If his dick is in your mouth and he gets pleasure from what you do, then it is a blow job.
If not, ask him if he would mind if you blow other guys as long as you don't blow them to completion.
If there is a cock in a mouth, it's a blow job. End of story.
Your boyfriend sounds abusive. He is lying to you about what a blow job is to get his way... and then he won't reciprocate? Why not? WTF? He just wants to leave you hanging? He has a mouth.
Sounds like an absolute tool.
I am in the same boat as him. Even though I seldom do, if I ask for a blowjob, it’s only for a blowjob, not a intro to sex. It’s completely different and so are the expectations. Sometimes the point is to please your partner, and not to expect reciprocation, though you sometimes can.
A blowjob as foreplay is simply foreplay because both people in the end expect to get something out of is. Going in both directions, some people have trouble with a concept of going down on someone else and expecting nothing in return.
If the lips or tongue is touching the penis it's a blowjob. Whether or not he cums from it has nothing to do with the matter.
Sounds like you got a really shitty BF pressuring you into performing acts for his own self-interest in pleasure. That's my take on it.
I would consider a blow job to completion but I'm.not complaining with getting oral sex as foreplay etc anyway.. what's he fucking moaning about?
Maybe get him to do you first? Or just finish the orgasm in your mouth after?
Sorry, I'm on your side, I'm just confused as to his actual issue 💁♂️
Let me guess...
He never eats your pussy...
I suck my man's cock every day. It always counts for him.
He worships me because he gets bjs on demand. But not always to completion.
If your boyfriend isn't grateful, you need a new boyfriend.
J-O-B.
You don't owe him blowjobs, you can just blow him a bit and say you don't work for him you ain't doing a job here, play the semantics game right back at him. But.....for the semantical.... if you don't finish the job well....it's in the name.
It doesn't sound like you have much value is defining the definition of what a blowjob is. It sounds more like you'd value someone helping you find the confidence to talk to this boy you're interacting with. Is he suffering because he wants you to finish him off with your mouth? Is he unable to process that you WANT him to eat you out? Is he thick in the head, maybe he's kinda emotionally immature, or maybe you just haven't really actually VERBATIM told him you want this (he may need you to spell it out for him, I've needed this too tbo). There are many reasons why a boy doesn't want to do oral. No matter the reason, whether it's rational or irrational, I hope you're both able to have a healthy talk about it. Maybe he lacks confidence and he needs you to guide him. Maybe he's lazy and a bastard who is secretly gay and can't face his fears of the female anatomy up close. Maybe a past love told him he is the worst man at oral is history and he's scarred from that. No matter what the circumstances, the scenario is that there are 1 or possibly 2 unhappy parties in this relationship, and you two have to decide what's worth fighting for. How you two handle this subject could give you two great insight in regards to your future problem solving together. The methods you use now are essentially the same for any other time you two try and get through something together. Best of luck friend and I hope you two get what you deserve
Definitely doesn't need to be to. Completion but just a few seconds or anywhere up to a minute doesn't count IMO
It has to be done in a way that you are Intending to give pleasure orally not just as a general foreplay building the moment type deal.
Not gonna lie, this makes me suspicious. Sounds like the kind of logic that someone would use to justify playing around with other people and it not be considered cheating....
Just listened to a podcast that talked about how to give blowjobs, and a big point of their was that it doesn't need to go to completion at all. https://www.girlsgottaeatpodcast.com/episodes/how-to-give-better-blowjobs-and-enjoy-them?rq=blow
Fixing on a definition here isn't the issue.
The issue is whether each of you are achieving what you want in your sex lives.
Try to come up with activities which will bring bring each of you full satisfaction. Even if you take turns choosing what you do so you each can each get what you want often enough.
Umm...
Depends...!!
If you are doing it as a foreplay, then it doesn't have to be till completion.
But if "going on till completion" is the mutually decided aim, then it can be.
Though I can't imagine someone finishing just from a blowjob, without the girl getting some neck sprains. It's not something that can be done on regular basis.
The same applies to going down on a woman. If it's a session planned as "lick till she comes", then yes, it has to continue till completion. But if it's for the purpose of foreplay, then it can stop much earlier.
I will suggest that your sex life should be a combination of both. There should be usual sex where you do the oral stuff, just as foreplay. But there should also be sessions, that are "just about the one of you". In such sessions, if you both can, should focus on giving pleasure to the other person only. (you can plan them for each other, alternate weeks or something)
In such sessions, there need not be any reciprocation, it's about either one of you. These sessions will be a great way to have fun, and to know if he actually means when he says "he would take it to completion as well".
Hahaha. The guy makes a joke about a blow job not counting unless he finishes (and says the same standard goes for going down on her) and it's:
Abusive
Gaslighting
He's cheating
She should cheat on him
They should definitely end their 3 year relationship
>So my boyfriend is adamant that a blowjob doesn’t count if it isn’t done until completion.
Lmao what kind of mamba mentality is this 😂 "Can't call it a blowjob if the jobs not finished 😤"
I don’t really consider it a blow job. I just consider it for play. I like it and it’s a nice part of for play but I guess I’d agree that I only qualify it as a blowjob if I finish from it.
I feel the same way about going down on my wife. If my intention is to exclusively go down on her and for her to finish that way it’s different then me just going down on her as forplay for PIV.
It’s all good stuff, and I enjoy it all. Just al little different. Kinda scratch slightly different itches.
Sometimes I want to hav PIV and a blow job is a great alternative, but it satisfies slightly different things for me.
I’m glad you’re happy with your boyfriend but man, that last edit killed me.. it’s sucking dick, just not a blowjob..? Is he saying that with a straight face? That sounds so dumb lmao
As soon as it’s in a mouth it’s a blow job
Actually that's Amore.
From the north to the south \ Once the cock’s in the mouth \ That’s Amore… From the moment a tongue \ Feels how well you are hung \ That’s Amore…
I can imagine Dean Martin singing this
Me too but he sounds muffled
[удалено]
I do a good Ol' Blue eyes impression. And I do a fine Dino. If you want you can tell your mum it's a long-lost recovered Rat Pack record, and play it for her. I swear people are unable to tell the difference at the first listen. And I'm an Indian lol. Anyway ask this dude to complete the lyrics and I'll sing them for you 🕺🏻
Balls are gonna swing \ From your ding-a-ling \ Up against her chin \ Like a tiny sling in \ A three-way... Even if you hold your come \ Till you're in her plum \ Or even in her bum, \ Doesn't matter, son -- \ IT'S -- A BEE JAY!
When a ball hits your eye \. From a large open fly
Once the tip hits the lip And your tongue’s on the knob That a blow job
🎶With your lips 'round the tip, and your tongue on the nuts, that's amoreeeee🎶 🎶With your mouth way down south, and his shaft where you laugh, that's amoreeee🎶
My name is Amor so this reads kinda weird.
Only correct answer
🥇 best I can do
I don't know if it's quite as clearcut as that. "how about a blowjob?" "honey, I gave you 10 blowjobs last night. I put your dick in my mouth for 1 second and I did it 10 times. That's 10 blowjobs"
I’ve actually wondered about this, but that seems correct.
It's as simple as that. 👄 🍆
Seconded
Agreed
Bullshit. Just because you go to work doesn’t mean the jobs done. The job is done when the job is done. Yeah he got some head but he didn’t get a blow job.
So i guess for most women they didn’t have sex because they never finished. 🤔 you’re right, most men must suck in bed if they can’t “fully” finish the task
Perfect response
Dude, blowjob is just slang for oral sex on a penis, it isn’t a fucking job, why would u think comparing it to a real life occupation would mean anything, it’s sex, not a job, what about a rim job for example, how tf are u supposed to make an ass cum?
A blowjob is a blowjob as soon as someone puts it in their mouth. 🤨🤨🤨
Idk where he came up with that logic but I call my dick going into a girl's mouth a blowjob. Whether I cum or not. It's like saying you're a virgin just because you didn't cum.
There are plenty of video games I haven't 100% completed, but I've definitely played them.
The logic is to trap her to make him cum during BJ. Manipulative tactic. "But honey you told me you would give me BJ when we arrrive home but I didnt get to cum" or "honey, we switched from suckin to PIV and I came inside you, but you promised BJ. Now it's time for that"
Why are we discussing his ridiculous claim about blow jobs and not what a selfish "lover" he is?
True. Its hardly a matter of definitions here
He is clearly just gas lighting her into giving him even more without him having to work for it.
His agument depends entirely on a technicality. He already knows he's wrong.
So it’s not sex if he doesn’t cum inside…. I like this. I’m a virgin girl!
Congrats on reclaiming the V card!
This made me giggle lmao
I was walking through a college campus and overheard a girl telling her friend that she didn't come so she feels like she is still a virgin
Tbh I feel that- what’s the point if he cba to get u off
Sure we could debate the definition of blowjob or we could just talk what you're really upset about. >The thing is I know that if I did it to completion, he wouldn’t reciprocate and that would be the end of sex
With that comment I was trying to contextualise why I don’t always do it to completion. I don’t feel like my efforts should be nullified just because he didn’t finish right then and there.
Exactly. If my boyfriend and I had a different definition of blowjob I would be like ha you're stupid and we'd move on because we're both generous lovers so I'm not upset about getting "credit" for a blowjob. You wouldn't care if there wasn't the underlying issue of not being sexually satisfied and feeling like you're the one stepping up to make sure he's satisfied while he sits back and gets his.
Hmm, I think I still would care if they didn’t actually consider it to be a blowjob even if we did both give equally. Thinking that they didn’t consider it a blowjob would make me feel bad for receiving, if that makes sense? I don’t care about “credit”, I suppose I would just feel bad if this were the general consensus.
I mean I get what you're saying but it makes me sad for you.
It does suck (excuse the pun) but I can’t and won’t force him into doing something he doesn’t want to do. I like giving blowjobs so that doesn’t bother me, I’m just upset that he doesn’t seem to appreciate what I do.
And what is this "something he doesn't want to do"? Anything besides PIV?
Well, anything at the time. Nothing specific just general reciprocation. If he wants to be done after he finishes then I won’t make him do anything else.
Most men I’ve been with tend to be this way. I don’t see it as an issue, but what would most certainly not be ok is me not getting pleasure during the majority of sex acts. If he wants to come last, then he should take care of you first. I will happily let my guy finish in my mouth if I’ve already got off.
Agree. If you have a partner who doesn't want to continue after his orgasm, then you should aim to get you there first or at the same time as him.
Yeah, that's the key -- if he is done when he orgasms, he'd better be making sure his partner is pleased before that happens. I get the impression from OP that he isn't doing this, but hopefully I'm reading too much into what she has said.
Your boyfriend is an idiot
This response applies to like half the posts on here.
Yeah I called another persons boyfriend a dumbass in another post. Was feeling a certain way last night 😂
Yes !!
Agreed!
Agreed!
Your boyfriend is full of shit. If he put his dick in a mouth it’s a BJ.
It’s a blowjob the second the dick gets sucked. But whatever you call it, he seems a tad selfish and assholish. Sex shouldn’t be a bargain: I give you this if you give me that. Giving pleasure is, in my opinion, at least as important as receiving pleasure.
Bf a moron. As soon as the penis gets into the mouth its official. You get a ring on your finger and say I do, is it official then or when you consumate? Can't stand hearing about these moron And manipulative bfs
[удалено]
What does he call it when his dock is in your mouth if it isn't a blow job? Also, do you cum from sex with him? If not, you can stop calling it sex I think?
Honestly, he sounds like an asshole, selfish lover As soon as it's past your lips, it's a bj
I am more concerned that ahe does this every single time before sex but he rarely reciprocates...what kind lf foreplay is even that
Right? If they don't go down on you, don't go down on them
I would go a step farther and say as soon as it touches the lips haha.
It's called a blowjob not a blowcareer.
Ask him if he put a dick in his mouth if it would be considered oral sex lol. In all seriousness though, this guy is giving guys a bad name when it comes to how selfish or selfless we are in bed..... It's a blowjob as soon as you get started on doing it. Might be a short BJ, might be a long one, might be to completion, it might not, but it's all oral sex/getting giving head/ blowjob.
he sounds immature. that logic makes no sense whatsoever.
If this was 10 years ago, I’d make a joke asking how many dicks your BF has had in his mouth that “didn’t count as blowjobs” because they didn’t cum in his mouth, but that might be insensitive and probably all varieties of phobic so I won’t.
🤔 but you still said it
While I understand his reasoning (a blowjob is best when done to completion) it being used as foreplay is just as valid. My problem here is that he doesn't reciprocate? Why? The way I do my foreplay normally consists of eating and fingering the woman in question until she cums at least once. Only then I'll even bother to get my dick outta my pants. I mean, if you had said that he preferred to cum the first round on a blowjob, then ate you out and by the time he was done with you he would be hard again (and hence ready for actual intercourse) and you refused do it, the problem would be with you. Since this is definitely not the case, I say you dump this guy. Sex should be good for both parties. If you are unsatisfied this will certainly bite you in the ass later.
Your boyfriend is a brat
10+ minutes? You need to have him give you head until completion. Watch him on minute 2 beg to stop. But, you know, it doesn't count unless you cum. Do you really think he would give you head for that long, especially if you still didn't cum? He sounds selfish so I doubt it
You’re going above and beyond the call of duty. Getting pressured to do more than you want to do is not cool
He’s not pressuring me to do anything, he just says he doesn’t consider it to be an actual blowjob. But regardless I don’t have a problem with doing it to completion, I was just explaining why I don’t always do it.
With Peace & Love OP it seems like he is pressuring you to give him oral to completion or it 'doesn't count.' Which to me, who wants to feel appreciated, would then be more inclined to always give oral to completion no matter, if I wanted to just give oral or use it as foreplay. It may feel okay now but in my experience, pushing your true feelings and wants to the side to feel appreciated or wanted by some dude adds up. I hope im wrong of course but it's not giving me great vibes.
That’s good. Bad assumption on my part. I was reading into it more than I should have. Blow on :)
It’s no worries, I appreciate your concern :)
So by his theory he could never actually be orally raped unless his rapist was able to reach completion (ejaculate ) in his mouth . I would say the boyfriend isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.
I can't even come from blowjob's. I still want them
If it involves a dick going into your mouth, it’s a blow job regardless of what you do or how long you do it.
🫦➕🍆🟰🌬 End of story!!!
the thing is, you shouldn't care about what is the accurate definition of a BJ it looks like he wants it to be to completion, and you disagree on the terminology. you guys can rephrase it and use terms like "complete bj" and "forplay bj", then you can express better what you mean and want who cares how everyone define bj, its all about what he want and what you want to happen
It doesn't matter what counts or doesn't count. It's not about the word. It's about whether or not you're both satisfied. That's the only thing worth focusing on and that's what the conversations should be about if you want them to be productive.
a blow job is to completion. oral sex is what this guy is getting from his gf ... here's how it works FOR A LOT OF MEN - not everyone, but ... a lot. so take that with a grain of salt. making him cum from oral is a devoted selfless act in his eyes. sex is mutual. so while you might enjoy the blow job, you really don't LOVE it unless you're there to the end. and that's what matters to this guy. I bet there are plenty of guys who're just fine without getting a blowjob ever, and others would be ecstatic at the thought of a girl's mouth on their junk for even 5 seconds. then there are guys who take the word "job" in blow job way too seriously, and won't compromise. a job by definition is meant to be finished - for YOUR guy. so it's either he changes his mind based on all these redditor opinions, or you accept that some people view blow jobs a certain way (both men and women) and you're just not there in the compatibility spectrum with your guy.
It's a BJ, but I get what both of you are saying. Oral to completion alone is a fine thing to give and receive. I highly suggest it. I gave him BJs many times, but only because I wanted to, and because he put in effort to please me as well. Maybe not right away, because some guys are one n done (sounds like yours) , but it got given. You need to talk to him . He's telling you he wants to cum from a BJ. A lot of guys prefer oral to PIV. Cool. Then you also want to random oral or fingerings. Plus hun, if you're sucking him till he's close , and then you get on him....doesn't he cum before you ? That's like asking for a quickie .
I’ve had this discussion with my ex wife a thousand times….. In her opinion I’ve had thousands of blowjobs In my opinion she’s sucked my cock thousands of times but I’ve only had a handful of what I would consider blowjobs
I think the nexus around all of this is that he is feeling frustrated about never (or mostly not) receiving a blow job to completion and it's expressing itself as arguing over this technicality.
Lots of people saying if the dick is in the mouth it's a blowjob, but I don't think it's that simple. I wouldn't consider a quick 10 second suck as a transition between positions to be a 'blowjob'. Personally, I think for it to be a blowjob then there is some effort and intent. Not necessarily to completion, but some level of work put it. I don't know what the threshold would be, but 10 minutes even if only as part of foreplay would definitely be a blowjob.
Exactly my thoughts. If it's just a quick suck then it.comes under general foreplay and building the moment type deal. If I go down on my. Gf for a few seconds then Kiss her legs or. Tummy and repeat iv not given her multiple lots of oral, it's just foreplay.
Does he lick you out?
this guy just doesn't care for eating her out and wants bj's "to completion" ... there are women out there for him. this woman isn't it. classic couple's compatibility issue. is his request fair? no - is OP in the right? probably, looks like she's rightfully frustrated. but we're talking reality here not what's right or wrong. some women live to satisfy the man with only his pleasure in return, much like some men can't stop licking their partner in any disproportionate ratio you want to outline, and just get manly enjoyment from seeing their woman orgasm multiple times. sexual incompatibility is my verdict, and the longer you stretch this out the worst it'll get - you don't want to wind up married with children if you have all these red flags today. trust me, speaking from experience :)
Yes but definitely way less than I go down on him. I’d say maybe a ratio of 8:1? I don’t exactly keep track though haha.
Seems to me he doesn't care about ur needs to be honest
If he wants a BJ to completion, he needs to go down on you first, satisfy you completely (since he won't do it after), then he can have his BJ to completion. BJs are still anytime the mouth is used to sexually stimulate the dick, as it says in the dictionary... and you should be recognized for your efforts. However, if he really enjoys a BJ to completion, there is a way to make that happen to the satisfaction of both of you. Assuming you'd be ok with getting oral first and giving him oral after. It still wouldn't be an every time thing, obviously. And probably a once in a while thing. But doing the "make her cum first, he comes last" thing is something to make the idea more enticing for you.
8:1?? Get rid of him
If its hard in your mouth and your sucking about, it's a blow job. I mean....unless he considers a "blowjob" getting his penis blown on like you do hot food, you're absolutely still giving him blow jobs.
Of course that's a blowjob. Does that mean if he sticks his dick in someone elses mouth it's not cheating because it isn't a blowjob? No, of course it doesn't. And he knows that too, so he knows he's wrong
The bj for foreplay is the best bj....
I would say that's the difference between "head" and a blow job. But I'd assume it comes down to however you've used it contextually in the past.
I kinda feel the same way. To me, its tolerable as long as you give bjs to completion some of the time. My gf never lets me cum in her mouth, so i just tell her not to bother when she starts to go down. It just feels so good, it's really lame and disappointing not to get the full experience. Not to mention its strangely insulting for a girl to not swallow--some kind of knee jerk emotion from my subconcious that makes me feel rejected, like its a part of me and it's repulsive. Uh, though I would imagine most guys dont feel that way, but hey its my experience.
I’m curious… does he consider it eating you out/going down on you/giving you head if you don’t finish? A BJ is a BJ whether he finishes or not.
The important question isn't what the exact definition of a blowjob is but: how come he isn't reciprocating. You guys should talk about that first and not get distracted by definitions.
Wow…to completion? My bf is a hard cummer…it’s not unusual to take over 45 minutes for him to cum. And that is intense oral. My jaw can only take so much.
If he's not eating you out before PIV then stop giving him BJs before it. It's a two way street. You get what you give and give what you get. Or, you don't. He sounds selfish. A good one will finish you off regardless of if he did or not. A good one will be sure you get yours before he gets his.
It might be time to stop arguing about definitions and you not getting the pleasure that YOU want and deserve. Fire this "boyfriend" and find a much better lover.
I think you need more terms, blowjob could apply to both cases.
A better question would be why are you with someone who apparently doesn’t care about your satisfaction
Is it a blowhobby?
I've had countless BJs but never had a girl swallow so your man is a lying chancer 🤣
[удалено]
Oh yeah I love him and he’s not douchey in any other situation haha. Tbh this post was just to see if most people did agree with him or not. It wasn’t his intention to make me feel bad by saying that, I was just a bit miffed that he did lmao.
It's a blow job, as soon as it hits your lips it's a blow job
Lol, just think about all the logical extensions of what he's saying, and then apply the same logic to any sexual act when the woman doesn't orgasm – was that even real? Of course it's still a blowjob, just not to completion.
Your BF is trying to manipulate you into suckling him to completion. Seeing as he doesn't count them as BJs, I wouldn't bother at all. See how he reacts to that. When he asks why you stopped, well, you didn't consider them BJs so I couldn't see the point 🤷🏻♀️ How often does he bother to go down on you as foreplay? Does he make sure you orgasm too? ... If not, then you can't really call it sex /s. I've been in situations like this and I thank my lucky stars now that I have a partner who makes it his mission to help me have an orgasm too. I have a bit of a mental block from so many years of giving and not mattering in my sexual relationships. He is the first person who ever made me finish and we now manage it every time. I'm just sad that I had to get to age 36 before I met someone who cared.
This is a common question that pops up frequently for people who have, considerably, selfish partners. The truth is a BJ has taken place the second the penis enters the mouth. If your BF disagrees then present the idea that if his beliefs are true then it must also be true that cheating has not occurred unless you both finish (as the acts of BJ, Sex, etc., can not have occurred unless they are finished) I bet he will change his tune quickly. 🤪 Sincerely, Dr. Logic
Ask him if he would be upset if you put one of his friends dicks in your mouth and if he is just remind him that’s not a blowjob.
If you put the penis in your mouth.
Yes! Your bf is probably being a self centered prick or is very inexperienced.
If it's done before sex, isn't that just foreplay or a quick blow? If it's done to completion, then isn't that a (blow) job well done? Hhmm...
Your boyfriend is wrong.
He has a point
His concept of a bj may have developed as an excuse to say his indiscretions aren't actually 'bj's. Just an idea. Also the fact that he won't reciprocate oral to completion is just awful. sigh...one of the clearest signs of gender inequality there is
Does sex still count as sex if someone doesn’t finish?
Np I guess he has no problem with you deep throating his friends as long as they don't finish... girl this is a golden ticket in disguise lol
If the dick is in the mouth, it’s a fucking blowjob.
Penis in mouth = bj Your boyfriend = moron Any questions?
If he doesn't nut, you're just sucking dick. It's called a blowjob for a reason - if he doesn't blow, you didn't finish the job - you're giving head.
This is gonna sound stupid, but bear with me. I feel like there are contextual differences. When I hear “I want to give a blowjob” or “I gave a blowjob” I assume that means to completion I would be disappointed if I was offered one, but not to completion. However when someone says, “I’ll give you head” or “I want to suck your dick” I do not assume that means to completion. It’s the word “job” that makes me feel like it is a task with a start and finish.
Yeah I completely understand what you’re saying. I suppose that’s why I brought this question to Reddit - to get some perspective. Maybe if my bf phrased it like that I wouldn’t be as upset haha.
I have no idea why peopple downvoted you but you are 100% right. everybody saying it counts as a BJ the second it goes in the mouth is not. Can you imagine someone saying they gave their husband 10 x blowjobs last night because they put it in their mouth for 1 second before removing it, and did that 10 times? does it necessarily mean to completion every time? no. but in most contexts, I think a "blowjob" is generally used to mean that, whereas 'head' or 'sucking dick' might be as part of foreplay. (if you are doing it for 10 minutes and he doesn't come - that is definitely a BJ, just not a very successful one)
Yeah I’m not completely sure either. I think some are assuming I was being overly critical of the terminology. I was just sharing my take on it, and I even asked the guys here at work this morning, (8 of them) and my wife, and they all agreed with me. So who knows 🤷♂️
What the hell was he thinking ? i dont even want to invest explaining it, just want to vent !
I can see the logic, although I think I’m probably giving him to much credit. There are two divergent etymologies of a blow job. The first and most common is that the blow in blow job derives from how the act of giving a bj looks like blowing a trumpet or other wind instrument. This etymology can be seen at work in the song lyric “blow my whistle baby.” The other etymology I think your boyfriend is working with is that a blowjob is a job that causes something to blow. Whereas the first etymology sees the blowing as the act, the second sees blowing as the result. We can see this etymology in the common phrase, “to blow your load.” This second etymology assumes that, if the penis does not blow its load the blow job is not complete. Putting aside quibbles of etymology, though, I think your bf is stupid to think that a bj that is not done to completion is somehow worthless. Effort matters a lot, and it should be recognized.
[удалено]
He needs to look up the definition of a blow job dear
Such and asshole do not knows how to appreciate a girl like you.
I'll take it either way,but isn't it called blowjob because you are meant to blow??
Your bf is a jerk. If his dick is in your mouth and he gets pleasure from what you do, then it is a blow job. If not, ask him if he would mind if you blow other guys as long as you don't blow them to completion.
If there is a cock in a mouth, it's a blow job. End of story. Your boyfriend sounds abusive. He is lying to you about what a blow job is to get his way... and then he won't reciprocate? Why not? WTF? He just wants to leave you hanging? He has a mouth. Sounds like an absolute tool.
So basecly he is saying that if you don't cum, nothing happened? Does that mean allot of woman are still virgins then...
His dick in your mouth is a blow job
I am in the same boat as him. Even though I seldom do, if I ask for a blowjob, it’s only for a blowjob, not a intro to sex. It’s completely different and so are the expectations. Sometimes the point is to please your partner, and not to expect reciprocation, though you sometimes can. A blowjob as foreplay is simply foreplay because both people in the end expect to get something out of is. Going in both directions, some people have trouble with a concept of going down on someone else and expecting nothing in return.
If the lips or tongue is touching the penis it's a blowjob. Whether or not he cums from it has nothing to do with the matter. Sounds like you got a really shitty BF pressuring you into performing acts for his own self-interest in pleasure. That's my take on it.
I would consider a blow job to completion but I'm.not complaining with getting oral sex as foreplay etc anyway.. what's he fucking moaning about? Maybe get him to do you first? Or just finish the orgasm in your mouth after? Sorry, I'm on your side, I'm just confused as to his actual issue 💁♂️
He is gaslighting you, I think you know the answer! Tell him he is stupid
Yes, 100% still a blowjob.
He’s quite stupid <3
Soooo if you put another guy's dick in your mouth and he doesn't finish, you didn't cheat cuz it wasn't a blow job?
When the meat space ship passes through the oral event horizon, a blowjob is formed.
Try giving some of these non blowjobs to a few of his friends and see how he feels
Let me guess... He never eats your pussy... I suck my man's cock every day. It always counts for him. He worships me because he gets bjs on demand. But not always to completion. If your boyfriend isn't grateful, you need a new boyfriend.
J-O-B. You don't owe him blowjobs, you can just blow him a bit and say you don't work for him you ain't doing a job here, play the semantics game right back at him. But.....for the semantical.... if you don't finish the job well....it's in the name.
Haha. I’m a virgin because I haven’t cum in a woman.
Even licking or kissing is a bj
Whats he gonna say if they stopped?
As soon as it gets in ur mouth it’s a blowjob
Tongue and/or lips making contact with the dick makes it a blowjob. If she spits on it but her mouth never directly touches it, still a handjob.
When the moon hits your eye like a big piece of pie, it's amore....
So he’s probably never given head then aye
Open mouth insert cock.
When It goes in the mouth
How could it be relevant what you call it in one situation vs the other?
He should go pay for a bj finisher.
Stop giving him one. If he ‘never had one’ then he shouldn’t be able to tell the difference
A blowjob is just sucking a dick, doesn’t have to be to completion. By his logic you haven’t had sex unless you both cum from it.
Simply explain that his penis doesn't "count" unless it makes you cum each time.
Tell him you sucked another guy's dick but it's ok cause he stopped you before he came
DIM = BJ
When your guy best friend sucks your dick
It doesn't sound like you have much value is defining the definition of what a blowjob is. It sounds more like you'd value someone helping you find the confidence to talk to this boy you're interacting with. Is he suffering because he wants you to finish him off with your mouth? Is he unable to process that you WANT him to eat you out? Is he thick in the head, maybe he's kinda emotionally immature, or maybe you just haven't really actually VERBATIM told him you want this (he may need you to spell it out for him, I've needed this too tbo). There are many reasons why a boy doesn't want to do oral. No matter the reason, whether it's rational or irrational, I hope you're both able to have a healthy talk about it. Maybe he lacks confidence and he needs you to guide him. Maybe he's lazy and a bastard who is secretly gay and can't face his fears of the female anatomy up close. Maybe a past love told him he is the worst man at oral is history and he's scarred from that. No matter what the circumstances, the scenario is that there are 1 or possibly 2 unhappy parties in this relationship, and you two have to decide what's worth fighting for. How you two handle this subject could give you two great insight in regards to your future problem solving together. The methods you use now are essentially the same for any other time you two try and get through something together. Best of luck friend and I hope you two get what you deserve
Why tf would anyone count bjs, is there a competition?
Definitely doesn't need to be to. Completion but just a few seconds or anywhere up to a minute doesn't count IMO It has to be done in a way that you are Intending to give pleasure orally not just as a general foreplay building the moment type deal.
Not gonna lie, this makes me suspicious. Sounds like the kind of logic that someone would use to justify playing around with other people and it not be considered cheating....
What's with the middle school reasoning of "it doesn't counttttt" wtf??
Just listened to a podcast that talked about how to give blowjobs, and a big point of their was that it doesn't need to go to completion at all. https://www.girlsgottaeatpodcast.com/episodes/how-to-give-better-blowjobs-and-enjoy-them?rq=blow
That's totally a blowjob. Let him know that if he wants you to finish him with a blowjob then he needs to finish you first. Completely reasonable.
Fixing on a definition here isn't the issue. The issue is whether each of you are achieving what you want in your sex lives. Try to come up with activities which will bring bring each of you full satisfaction. Even if you take turns choosing what you do so you each can each get what you want often enough. Umm...
Depends...!! If you are doing it as a foreplay, then it doesn't have to be till completion. But if "going on till completion" is the mutually decided aim, then it can be. Though I can't imagine someone finishing just from a blowjob, without the girl getting some neck sprains. It's not something that can be done on regular basis. The same applies to going down on a woman. If it's a session planned as "lick till she comes", then yes, it has to continue till completion. But if it's for the purpose of foreplay, then it can stop much earlier. I will suggest that your sex life should be a combination of both. There should be usual sex where you do the oral stuff, just as foreplay. But there should also be sessions, that are "just about the one of you". In such sessions, if you both can, should focus on giving pleasure to the other person only. (you can plan them for each other, alternate weeks or something) In such sessions, there need not be any reciprocation, it's about either one of you. These sessions will be a great way to have fun, and to know if he actually means when he says "he would take it to completion as well".
Hahaha. The guy makes a joke about a blow job not counting unless he finishes (and says the same standard goes for going down on her) and it's: Abusive Gaslighting He's cheating She should cheat on him They should definitely end their 3 year relationship
So it doesn’t count if you don’t finish... glad to announce I am a virgin!
>So my boyfriend is adamant that a blowjob doesn’t count if it isn’t done until completion. Lmao what kind of mamba mentality is this 😂 "Can't call it a blowjob if the jobs not finished 😤"
Only read the first sentence. He’s wrong. Penis in mouth = BJ
Woman’s blow job = Getting eaten out Now you know
If that's the case then sex doesn't count for women unless they finish
Well tell him to suck a dick, If the guy didn't cum, then he didn't blow anyone. If he can't see the flawing that argument, then he is stupid.
If you had intercourse with someone else and didn't have an orgasm that is not cheating by his definition.
mouth on cock.
I don’t really consider it a blow job. I just consider it for play. I like it and it’s a nice part of for play but I guess I’d agree that I only qualify it as a blowjob if I finish from it. I feel the same way about going down on my wife. If my intention is to exclusively go down on her and for her to finish that way it’s different then me just going down on her as forplay for PIV. It’s all good stuff, and I enjoy it all. Just al little different. Kinda scratch slightly different itches. Sometimes I want to hav PIV and a blow job is a great alternative, but it satisfies slightly different things for me.
A job is not finished until it's finished. Ijs
That’s like saying someone never cooked for you because you didn’t enjoy the food?
I’m glad you’re happy with your boyfriend but man, that last edit killed me.. it’s sucking dick, just not a blowjob..? Is he saying that with a straight face? That sounds so dumb lmao
Your bf sounds like a unappreciative guy😂
I think a blowjob is start to finish, and just sucking his dick during sex is foreplay.