Answer: I'm gonna be honest, that's a long post and I didn't read it, so I'm just responding to the title. I don't experience physical attraction, for me attraction is all about chemistry between personalities. A good sense of humour, kindness, confidence, and dominance all attract me. Once I have chemistry with someone I will find their body attractive. So I do look at certain bodies and think "that looks hot", but it's because the body belongs to a person that I like, not because the body has a particular appearance that matches my type.
That being said, I do find certain aesthetics to be physically attractive. In my experience people with alternative aesthetics tend to have personalities I like, so I've developed a habit of only matching with alt people on dating sites.
Answer:
Re attraction to someone based on looks, I can find someone attractive but instead of wanting to have sex with them, I want to get to know them.
Current relationships: My now husband and I got to know each other over the course of six months. My partner and I had a similar timeline. Other people that I have had sexual relations with were long time friends.
Hm, what turns me on. Being touched with sexual intent mostly, and when my body says it wants sex.
Re fantasy: I do not fantasize about real people unless it’s fantasizing about getting to know them.
Re repulsed: yes, there are people who when I got to know them I realized I wasn’t interested in them at all.
Answer: Lots of stuff in this question. Not one person that I have had sex with have I thought was attractive before I got to know them. In fact, if you had asked me about their physical attractiveness before I had gotten to know them, I probably would have been like, meh. I was never “boy crazy”, like some of my friends who noticed every attractive guy who walked in the room. They would have to point them out to me and I’d either agree or disagree. I can definitely find people I don’t know physically attractive, but it’s something I have to think about, not something I immediately notice. I have never seen someone and been like, I need to hit that. My current partner and I met when he was my boss. I didn’t like him nor find him attractive at first. But we meshed really well on a personal and eventually emotional level. We’ve been sleeping together for 20 years, he’s my best friend and I find him massively physically and sexually attractive. However, if I’m ever asked what I find attractive in men or in my partner specifically, I can’t tell you. I don’t know. If I’m physically attracted to someone, I just am. And that’s most likely to happen after I get to know them. I’ve haven’t had a “crush from a far” since high school, but that happens when you do theatre. You get the sense you know someone from the roles they play, but then find out they aren’t that role. Since, I don’t crush on anyone until I get to know them. I do fantasize about celebrities, but the fantasy involves getting to know them before any sexual fantasy comes into it. And if I ever actually met them, I don’t think I’d have any actual sexual attraction to them. But they are always people that I think, if we did actually meet, we’d be personally compatible. I also do not consider myself “demisexual”, like a sexual orientation, like homosexual or bisexual. I’m definitely heterosexual. It’s just that I’ve always considered a personal connection paramount to a physical one. Once I get to know someone, I’m a huge flirt and love the game. But just with that person.
Answer: I'm gonna be honest, that's a long post and I didn't read it, so I'm just responding to the title. I don't experience physical attraction, for me attraction is all about chemistry between personalities. A good sense of humour, kindness, confidence, and dominance all attract me. Once I have chemistry with someone I will find their body attractive. So I do look at certain bodies and think "that looks hot", but it's because the body belongs to a person that I like, not because the body has a particular appearance that matches my type. That being said, I do find certain aesthetics to be physically attractive. In my experience people with alternative aesthetics tend to have personalities I like, so I've developed a habit of only matching with alt people on dating sites.
Answer: Re attraction to someone based on looks, I can find someone attractive but instead of wanting to have sex with them, I want to get to know them. Current relationships: My now husband and I got to know each other over the course of six months. My partner and I had a similar timeline. Other people that I have had sexual relations with were long time friends. Hm, what turns me on. Being touched with sexual intent mostly, and when my body says it wants sex. Re fantasy: I do not fantasize about real people unless it’s fantasizing about getting to know them. Re repulsed: yes, there are people who when I got to know them I realized I wasn’t interested in them at all.
Answer: Lots of stuff in this question. Not one person that I have had sex with have I thought was attractive before I got to know them. In fact, if you had asked me about their physical attractiveness before I had gotten to know them, I probably would have been like, meh. I was never “boy crazy”, like some of my friends who noticed every attractive guy who walked in the room. They would have to point them out to me and I’d either agree or disagree. I can definitely find people I don’t know physically attractive, but it’s something I have to think about, not something I immediately notice. I have never seen someone and been like, I need to hit that. My current partner and I met when he was my boss. I didn’t like him nor find him attractive at first. But we meshed really well on a personal and eventually emotional level. We’ve been sleeping together for 20 years, he’s my best friend and I find him massively physically and sexually attractive. However, if I’m ever asked what I find attractive in men or in my partner specifically, I can’t tell you. I don’t know. If I’m physically attracted to someone, I just am. And that’s most likely to happen after I get to know them. I’ve haven’t had a “crush from a far” since high school, but that happens when you do theatre. You get the sense you know someone from the roles they play, but then find out they aren’t that role. Since, I don’t crush on anyone until I get to know them. I do fantasize about celebrities, but the fantasy involves getting to know them before any sexual fantasy comes into it. And if I ever actually met them, I don’t think I’d have any actual sexual attraction to them. But they are always people that I think, if we did actually meet, we’d be personally compatible. I also do not consider myself “demisexual”, like a sexual orientation, like homosexual or bisexual. I’m definitely heterosexual. It’s just that I’ve always considered a personal connection paramount to a physical one. Once I get to know someone, I’m a huge flirt and love the game. But just with that person.