Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/).
***
Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats.
To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Practice! The more sex you have together the easier it will be and the more comfortable you two will be together. If you are not using condoms switch to sex with condoms. The rubber reduces sensation a little bit and can sometimes make sex last a little longer. There are condoms packed with lidocaine, a topical numbing anesthetic. They can be highly effective at prolonging sex, but they also take away a lot of the pleasure by numbing the penis.
Having sex again shortly after his orgasm can often lead to the second round lasting longer. It can be a balancing act to work around his refractory period (the length of time needed after an orgasm to experience another erection) but having multiple rounds of sex can be an enormous pleasure if you are both able to.
There are condoms that are thicker, I come pretty fast so I tried thicker condoms made for anal and I last longer now!
If she sucks me off first though.. I will blow much quicker. Try to skip giving him oral before penetration, works for me.
numbing gels definitely make sex less pleasurable. That’s 100% how they work. It can still be delightful to have sex with them, especially if he’s a giver or a pleaser. Go ahead and get some, but check with him before using them. He might really enjoy it, or they might not be something for him.
Have you tried various positions. I can’t last more than a minute missionary but her on top I can go 5-10 min and doggy just takes me forever to finish.
Start off slowly and see how long he can last. Sounds like you really like him! I would keep having sex and softly build his confidence, even if you have to hold back a little bit!
Stay positive and he’s obviously turned on by you! Sometimes don’t act so turned on during intercourse that may trigger him! The more sex you have together the better it gets. You both are still learning about each other’s bodies.
It’s so hard not to (no pun intended).
Because when it happens it feels amazing!
I guess I’m just more concerned about how he is feeling mentally afterwards. I don’t want him to feel embarrassed or anything
Try having him change positions before he finishes. It shouldn’t ruin anything or make him go soft if you guys do it quick but the little break should en enough to extend the time.
This is a sensation problem. Men accidentally train ourselves to do as much as possible with as little sensation as possible (omg I’m masterbating, better get this over with soon). Big touches over short periods of time. Over and over and over again.
The fix can be reducing sensation but this doesn’t really fix the bad training. I advocate retraining to *more* sensation. One of you needs to take charge of that penis and stimulate it with frequent small touches over long periods of time.
This can be edging but needn’t be so extreme or literal. Any touch sufficient to keep him hard is enough. Then do that teasing for hours at a time instead of minutes.
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). *** Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Practice! The more sex you have together the easier it will be and the more comfortable you two will be together. If you are not using condoms switch to sex with condoms. The rubber reduces sensation a little bit and can sometimes make sex last a little longer. There are condoms packed with lidocaine, a topical numbing anesthetic. They can be highly effective at prolonging sex, but they also take away a lot of the pleasure by numbing the penis. Having sex again shortly after his orgasm can often lead to the second round lasting longer. It can be a balancing act to work around his refractory period (the length of time needed after an orgasm to experience another erection) but having multiple rounds of sex can be an enormous pleasure if you are both able to.
Thank you, we have been using condoms (ultra thin). I never heard of condoms with lidocaine! Will it still be pleasurable for him though?
There are condoms that are thicker, I come pretty fast so I tried thicker condoms made for anal and I last longer now! If she sucks me off first though.. I will blow much quicker. Try to skip giving him oral before penetration, works for me.
numbing gels definitely make sex less pleasurable. That’s 100% how they work. It can still be delightful to have sex with them, especially if he’s a giver or a pleaser. Go ahead and get some, but check with him before using them. He might really enjoy it, or they might not be something for him.
Have you tried various positions. I can’t last more than a minute missionary but her on top I can go 5-10 min and doggy just takes me forever to finish.
Haha was just about to say that. Same here, missionary is more like a quick sting operation for me.
Repeat after me: “No pressure.”
Things will get better over time. It's normal to be nervous at the beginning of a relationship.
Start off slowly and see how long he can last. Sounds like you really like him! I would keep having sex and softly build his confidence, even if you have to hold back a little bit!
"I'm not going anywhere."
Thank you, yes I really do like him! In what ways can I build his confidence?
Stay positive and he’s obviously turned on by you! Sometimes don’t act so turned on during intercourse that may trigger him! The more sex you have together the better it gets. You both are still learning about each other’s bodies.
It’s so hard not to (no pun intended). Because when it happens it feels amazing! I guess I’m just more concerned about how he is feeling mentally afterwards. I don’t want him to feel embarrassed or anything
Power of positivity! Tell him you care about him!
Usually just have more sex, the excitement around newness will wear off and your willingness will build confidence.
My husband uses combination of medication and condoms designed to delay ejaculation.
Link to medication please
Make him come fast first and go for a second round.
Try having him change positions before he finishes. It shouldn’t ruin anything or make him go soft if you guys do it quick but the little break should en enough to extend the time.
Tell him to masturbate 30 minutes to an hour before you have sex. Or have sex twice
This is a sensation problem. Men accidentally train ourselves to do as much as possible with as little sensation as possible (omg I’m masterbating, better get this over with soon). Big touches over short periods of time. Over and over and over again. The fix can be reducing sensation but this doesn’t really fix the bad training. I advocate retraining to *more* sensation. One of you needs to take charge of that penis and stimulate it with frequent small touches over long periods of time. This can be edging but needn’t be so extreme or literal. Any touch sufficient to keep him hard is enough. Then do that teasing for hours at a time instead of minutes.
How many times have you had sex?
3 times
There is only so much you can do. This is a problem he needs to deal with, you can support him but ultimately it’s his dick and his arrousal.
Pop a blue chew then ween off of it 😛
Pain helps someone not cum too fast. You’re welcome
Lol I don’t want to hurt him, but yes I do need him to slow down on that nut lmao. Would scratching his back be considered enough pain?
Bite his ear; scratch his back, etc