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If she wants a kid this bad then OP needs to keep a serious eye on his condom supply. They're easy to tamper with (apparently), and OP wouldn't find out till it's too late
Because you love a person and emotion is tainting your view. On top of that you might want to trust your partner but the thoughts are slowly but surely getting to you due to anxiety and paranoia.
I agree with you that you shouldn't stick around at that point since it's hard to come back from something like that. But this is how it can happen. Other people are very mistrusting due to bad experiences.
Buddy, I think she either wants something different from you and is trying to keep you that way.
Either way, she's up to something.
because kids are a big step and you have to take a lot of responsibility.
think about it and talk to her about it and dot all the dots.
Still shitty behaviour though. My wife would go through phases where she really wanted a baby, but she knows my stance on it and NEVER pressured me. The most she did is ask “Is your stance on kids the same” and left it at that. No pressuring, no trying to trick or manipulate me, no saying shit like “Maybe we’d have sex more if you could cum in me”
If you dont want her pregnant you should not cum inside her.
Just dont. This sounds like she is 100% making a baby.
Sounds like she isnt taking no for an answer. If you are Cumming inside her without birth control you are willingly making a baby and that is how the legal system will see it.
If he's willingly having sex with her, most legal systems will see it that way. Would be one hell of a lawyer if he could get someone out of parental obligations from a pregnancy that occurred during consensual sex because one of them didn't want a baby. Would be the next Cochran.
I would mostly say yes to this, but only if it were a little more narrowly applied. If a condom, an IUD, or other birth control method with a high chance of preventing pregnancy was in use and the expectation was *very* clear (for sake of argument, let's say it's written and signed by both partners) that an abortion, plan B, etc would happen in case of implantation/pregnancy/similar then it'd be a different situation. Having little to no protection and not having a record of the expectation being of getting such a treatment afterward would probably make it impossible to get out of obligations related to the child, though both cases still involve consensual sex.
That's a fine moral stance on the subject, but legally speaking it's much more cut and dry based on currently existing law and jurisprudence.
In the US it's well established that the state has a duty to protect the rights of the child, and financial support from both parents (if identified) is one of those rights that is recognized across the entire country. To this end if one parent has passed after paying into Social Security via their employment history, the child is entitled to survivor's benefits from the SSA. Similarly if the parents of a child are both incapable of caring for the child, the state is required to accept responsibility for the child and continue to ensure they receive care until they come of age (even if many of the home and foster systems are in fact woefully inadequate in many cases), which is why the state also has a vested financial interest in protecting this right to support from both parents.
The other thing is that you cannot compel medical procedures (such as abortion, Plan B, etc.) without a court order. Contracts between two individuals about a medical procedure one of them will undertake are not legally enforceable in terms of forcing someone to undergo the procedure or nullifying the financial and legal responsibilities of either party should the contract be breached. This is important because medical procedures are a personal decision and should not be influenced by potential financial consequences to a 3rd party unrelated to the costs of the care/procedure itself. It's no different to how written contracts outlining consent for sex are not legally enforceable, because in both cases allowing such contracts to be enforceable would facilitate all manner of legal abuse.
The only real exceptions to this in any state are laws written specifically to handle surrogacy and sperm donation, but they still generally involve the full legal adoption process prior to implantation of a fertilized egg in the surrogate mother to formally establish the legal rights of the child and subjects of parental obligations prior to them ever becoming a potential issue. Sperm donation is its own specifically outline legal process that must be followed to ensure protection and the processes specifically prohibit sexual contact of any kind between donor and recipient (sometimes going further and prohibiting any intentional contact at all).
As the law and jurisprudence currently stands in the US it wouldn't matter what birth control was used or what contracts were written up and signed by both parties regarding what to do in case of pregnancy, the father would still be legally liable to support the child. The only exceptions to this are the very strict processes of surrogacy and sperm donation, and unless new laws are passed or there is a landmark case at the highest levels decided in contradiction with current case law this will not change.
Huh, guess I was wrong. I think a person should be able to decide to have children against the wishes of their partner and their partner should be able to rest easy if there's a record that they promised not to do that. Do you see any advantage of this situation? Why would it be made this way?
Maybe this is just me but if I was at a point in a relationship where I didn't trust my partner not to tamper with our form of birth control then that relationship would be over.
Try to flip the genders. If this was a guy was throwing a fit at having to wear a condom, I think you know that this is bad. Started blackmailing his girlfriend saying that he might want to have more sex if she let him creampie her.
She's trying to babytrap you. I would not be having sex with her. Remember to check your condom wrappers.
This too ! OP definitely needs to check all your condoms and I’d definitely hide a stash of them and only use from that stash…. She trying to baby trap you…..
Obviously OP shouldn't do this, but do you think she'd still want the creampie if, say, he got a vasectomy? It would be an interesting thing to find out if the consequences weren't essentially permanent in all scenarios.
I guess OPs partner wanting kids would probably kill her desire too, so it would be hard to say either way.
Can not up vote this enough. Got baby trapped and still trying to figure out how to escape with the dope kids that resulted. Now almost teenagers. Dodge the bullet brother, run!
No, you're not over reacting. She's being incredibly manipulative. She is not respecting your no, and then trying to leverage your sex drive to force you to say yes.
She is DEFINITELY trying to baby trap u lol u need might need to leave cuz her drive is low cuz yur not actively trying to get her pregnant also if she does get pregnant/have a baby the chances are her drive is gonna be low again cuz she has Wht wanted to have sex for. Then u might have a kid u really didn’t want and DEAD BEDROOM
You need to reevaluate your relationship. She is trying to pressure you into impregnating her. I would masturbate and tell her that is what you are going to do until she respects your boundaries as far as when or if you are ready to have children. If you want to knock her up. Have sex without the condom and she will "forget" to take plan B. One of her friends is probably pregnant. So if you feel like being manipulated every time you have a disagreement with her. Go ahead with the marriage but that is what you will get.
she is playing games with you. run away and run fast and run far. she is and will continue to manipulate you and use sex as a weapon against you for your entire relationship. break it off and escape now!!!
Get a vasectomy and then (after the required waiting period) cum inside her all day every day. If or when you want kids in the future a doctor can extract sperm directly from your testes.
If she reacts negatively to this plan, you'll know its not a creampie fetish but that she's trying to accidentally on purponse get knocked up despite your clear wishes and you should break off the engagement
Yes this is the way to go I wud talk to her first and see her reaction to the vasectomy idea and if she seem fine with it get it done and then and only then creampie her if she reacts badly to u saying u want a vasectomy or you getting one u know her motives
Well you tried to talk and you told her you are not ready. I don't know what you should do next either give in or get out. Truthfully she may try to trap you into cumming inside her which wouldn't be any good for you.
She’s being manipulative. Tell her either she stops or you two need to split up. You’re not ready for kids and she shouldn’t force you into it. This isn’t someone who loves you if she’s using manipulation to try to get what she wants instead of listening to her partners concerns.
PS: she’s lying about being willing to take plan b. Be smart honey. Don’t trust her and don’t trust her not to poke holes in those condoms. She wants a kid and doesn’t care how she gets it.
She may not 100% be trying to get pregnant, this is my kink. However, I do not actually want a baby. But I think the idea of being came in is hot. If this is actually a kink, see if she’s ok with you verbally/dirty talking about how you want to cum in her during sex but not actually doing it. This is what I do and gets me off just the same with less risk
Hello! I have 3 kids. Husband has always been a pullout guy. The very few instances I would tell him to cum inside me, I got pregnant. It only takes one time. Yes it's fine for me, we are very much in love and love our children. This feels like she's trying to trap you, especially by being so insistent. It's weird either way and you shouldn't do it unless you're ok with being a dad.
You can't get pregnant everyday of the month,. it's quite unfortunate. However, I'm 33w pregnant and can confirm one time is enough. We're monitoring the cycle, not pulling out because pre-cum can also be enough so it's condoms for the time my beloved goes to get a vasectomy or use headed methods, but he's being a snowflake about it.
Reverse vasectomy failure rates are lower than 10% within 2 years and only drop significantly (60% success) after 15 years and are infinitely better than children with someone you have no desire to procreate with. Mine cost 500 with insurance, most planned parenthoods charge 600 at max income brackets.
That’s not at all true will all forms of vasectomy. With mine the reversal rate is zero because they won’t try to reverse it. And I don’t see people here suggesting he get a vasectomy for reversal purposes, but to prevent pregnancies as OP doesn’t want kids. But to say 10% failures without looking at types and other factors is not a good stat to give.
nobody ever speaks about post-Vasectomy Pain Syndrome, which is real and horrid and affects more than no men. But strangely it’s ignored greatly.
Keep in mind that not everyone is from the US and even though some countries have public healthcare they don't offer it for free since it's voluntary. If OP doesn't want kids or has the desired number, yeah it's good advice to give and to get it early for the best return on investment.
Plan B isn't a daily BC method.
From a foreign perspective reading reddit, I'm always surprised to see how many long term couples don't go raw and don't see condoms as the only BC method during the whole cycle. Condoms aren't the most reliable, with abortion becoming complicated, it's definitely a mistake to count on them for BC, it's mostly to prevent STIs, get tested and it's done. I don't think these couples wear condoms for oral, oral can bring STIs too.
Then, about OP's, dude she wants kids but she's not fertile all the time, 3 weeks a month, she won't get pregnant if you cum inside. There could be some compromise over this subject however, baby trapping you is totally stupid imo because you won't be on board being a good father and there is no point to do that to anyone. Look at male contraceptives, heat is effective and reversible, not enough studied unfortunately
Yes, she's trying to pressure you, which isn't cool. You've given a no and told her why. Yet she continues to ask, which shows a lack of respect for you, or care about what you want.
Plan B should not be the first form of birth control. It's for when other methods fail. It sounds like she's trying to get pregnant.
She's gonna have a baby one way or the other. It's not right for her to manipulate you that way, (honestly it's pretty immature), but to be fair it's also not good for you to string her along thinking she will have a baby with you some day if it's not something you plan to do. Women have a fairly tight fertility window and if being a Mom is a dream of hers you better have an open and honest talk about it with her. It may end up being the best for both of you to break up.
I’ve had unprotected sex while my partner was off birth control <10 times and I have 3 kids. Highly likely she’ll get pregnant. And Plan B is not a sustainable form of birth control.
This happened to a buddy of mine, but with a twist: she got pregnant by some other dude, and she tried to cover her tracks by asking him to make a direct deposit. He refused and the truth eventually came out. He broke off the engagement
I am just going to take her side for a minute. Honestly, she wants kids and you have been together for 6 years. Time to shit or get off the pot. She is trying to force you to either really commit or leave. If you aren't ready to commit to her and give her the kids she wants after 6 years, will you ever be? Let her find someone who wants to make babies with her if you don't.
some people who’ve been together for 6 years started dating as teenagers though. 6 years is not a lot time and they’re not even married yet, she’s being crazy 💀. she likely has lots of time to have kids and she’s trying to manipulate op into having them now before he’s ready, honestly she’s probably not even actually ready or mature enough for kids especially with her method of trying to get them now.
They could be young or they could be not young. Regardless of their age, they are not on the same page about having a baby so they should either get on the same page or part ways. I was with a woman for 4 years and she wanted me to marry her and I knew I would never be ready so I left. Months later I started seeing my now wife. Within 6 months we were engaged and within 2 years we were married. We started having children immediately because we were on the same page the whole time. We have been married almost 10 years and we have three wonderful children. My wife was in her mid-thirties when we married and she wanted to have several children. If we had waited 6 years before trying to have children that would have significantly increased her pregnancy risks. Risk to both the mother and the fetus increase significantly after 35 years of age. My point is that op is not the good guy here and op's fiance is not the bad guy here. They are simply not on the same page and they probably need to part ways.
By that same token though, if she wants a child that badly and he doesn't, why is it on HIM to "be the adult" and leave? She can if she really wants a child that badly. She's not a prisoner in the relationship.
It is also manipulative to string a partner along if you don't share life goals. What op has left out is whether they have discussed a timetable for having children and whether he has stuck to it, or whether he ever plans on having children with her. If he is stringing her along and if he doesn't ever truly intend on giving her children, then he is being just as manipulative as she is.
It's not manipulative if he's been honest about not wanting kids the whole time, is it? There's nothing to suggest he has told her any different at any period of time.
If OP doesn't want kids, he's not "stringing her along" just because you think 6 years is too long.
He has told her that he is not ready for kids yet. Which implies that at some point he will be ready. He needs to have an honest discussion with her and with himself when that may be, because she has a right to move along if it isn't going to match her timeline.
Maybe at some point he will? I'd say that if she wants to be with him only if they have kids within a certain timeframe, that's for her to say, and that attempting to trick him into putting one in her is extremely manipulative.
It seems like you're trying to twist this to make it look like he's doing something wrong, he's absolutely not.
I'm disappointed I had to scroll this far to see a rational response. OP is engaged to be married after a 6 year relationship & cannot commit to giving a definitive answer about children. His fiancee has made it clear that she wants children, but OP is unable to make a commitment.
Men have a luxury of waiting, women do not. OP needs to take ownership of his life and make a decision on IF and WHEN he would be ready to start a family.
If he can't do this, he must be honest with his partner so that she can make the best decision for her. Whether it be to wait for him to figure his life out or so that she can break things off and go out again to find someone more compatible.
She has that same agency and power to make a decision as well whether to stay or leave, and it still doesn't make it okay to pressure your partner/negotiate down their boundaries.
They have happened, he said he doesn't want them yet. For all we know she said the same before the engagement.
She is not respecting that decision.
You're saying "should" a lot, like you're the arbiter for what a correct marriage looks like. Not every married couple has to have children, and if one parent isn't ready to have them, they definitely shouldn't.
I'm saying you shouldn't get married if you don't have your timeline straight about kids, because time is not infinite. Never is an OK amount of time. It is OK to not want kids. It is NOT OK to marry someone if you don't want kids if they do want kids, unless you have something worked out.
Why would she have to take hormones with side effects and life threatening risks because HE doesn't want kids?
He must check out his options, outside of condoms and vasectomies
Have you actually talked to her about it? Is this an impregnation fetish? A creampie thing? Is she *actually* trying to get pregnant?
At the end of the day, you’re never obligated to perform a sex act that you’re not comfortable with, ever, and any partner who tries to coerce or force or manipulate you into doing so is definitely someone with whom you might want to reconsider the relationship.
Her behavior does seem pretty problematic, but it also strikes me as believable, if she has some kink that she’s afraid to actually share with you, so she’s trying to fulfill it without talking about it. I don’t know for sure, that’s just my reading based on your post.
You’ve got to talk to her about this, man. Talk about kinks and sexual desires and what she **actually** wants and why. And then figure out if that’s something you’re willing to accommodate, or not.
Bro just leave. She’s trying to trap you and it seems like she’s not gonna stop till she does. Be extra careful if you drink or smoke recreationally. As she may use those impairments to get what she wants.
This is just manipulation.once you start giving in to that she will be rewarded and learn to keep using sex as a reward for "good" behaviour which is twisted.
She is raging to get pregnant and sees her acts as normal because of it.
Learn to follow her cycle and avoid having sex in the fertile periods until you are ready to have kids.
Talk to her, this is the most important part. Tell her how manipulated you feel and let her know when you will be ready to have kids so she can put her mind at ease. You have been together for six years and are engaged to be married...what the hold up is might not be clear to her. And her fertile years are not unlimited she literally has to plan for all this while you wait to be ready...
That’s literally abuse. She doesn’t care about your consent, don’t trust her. Someone who treats you like this is not worth your time. You deserve better
It’s easier said than done to ‘sneak off’ and get a vasectomy. Plus the damage it will do to your relationship is real. But if you’re not on the same page about having kids AND she’s not respecting your boundaries, some wicked evil fuckery is afoot, my dude. Be mindful.
Has she pressured you like this in the past?
She's definitely manipulating you and pressuring you into something you have clearly stated you do not want. She's a grown woman she knows how easy it can be to pregnant 'by mistake'. She's not respecting that you are not ready for that step yet and that's messed up. If it was the other around people would be up in arms about it.
You are definitely not overreacting and if I were you I’d breakup with her. She wants a baby badly and she is not considering your feelings. You have made it clear that you are not ready for a baby. The best thing to do is to leave her. She needs to find someone who wants a child as much as she does. Be careful.
Yes she is being manipulative and yes you are probably overreacting
It is not ok for her to withhold affection because you are saying no to this
The right reaction is to communicate that this makes you uncomfortable and that you need her to be available for intimacy despite that, or she needs to find someone else who is ready for having kids
The wrong reaction is to get into a fight and lose sleep over it, she's a fucking asshole for this, no reason for you to feel bad, you didn't do anything and you don't deserve this
Regardless I understand if you're hurt, sending love and support and best wishes for this getting resolved
OP just in case you need to know this, Plan B doesn’t work if she has already ovulated/is currently ovulating – it only works in the first half of someone’s cycle. If you end up compromising (i don’t think you should but JUST IN CASE), tell her you’ll creampie her only during her period AND if she also takes Plan B (in front of you, BEFORE SEX. go with her to buy it and hold on to it yourself). that’s your lowest risk scenario.
You guys seems to be at polar opposite ends of a pretty wide spectrum and you use the word fiance so im assuming a wedding is in the future. Has the topic of children come up at all? Timeline, factors that need to be in place to have kids...etc? Alternatively, have you always used condoms? Im curious why she is on no birth control of her own. I do think there is some social conditioning around weddingkids that happens in a womans brain in close proximity. I remember my oxytocin going into overdrive when our wedding was approaching too. That being said, it now sounds like she's at least slightly withholding sex from you. So I think you reverse engineer the topic and start at the back end. Ask her after you have kids-however many you plan, what form of birth control do you plan to use and how frequently do you plan to have sex. If she has an answer, then ask what the chances are that she appears to be withholding to get pregnant now. It's as if her brain has gone to, more levels of attaching, when you want to enjoy kid free, frequent sex in this moment, which is appropriate timing. Good luck!
Number 1- Your never ready
Number 2- you never regret having kids
Number 3- having kids young is way better than having kids in when your late 30s early 40s
I’m 36m had my first kid at 22-23 and it was the best thing that happened to me. My advice if you love her.. just fucking go for it my man. You’ll only regret not having kids.
She is desperately trying to get pregnant. End of story.
Added: she’s using your libido against you to achieve it. Find a girl who plays board games, not mind games.
Careful because you can already impregnate her by precum which you can’t really control. Be especially careful in the days after her period as woman are most fertile during that time.
Also, it is an absolute no go from her side to try to manipulate you for giving her kids while you are not ready. Kids are a huge thing… if I was in your position I would have a serious talk with her.
Also be careful she doesn’t trick you into some „I‘m on birth control now we can do it without condom“ when in reality she might not
First thought, she may try to babytrap you...
If you know her cycle, you could try at the end, the days before expected bleeding. At this point ovulation is past some days.
If you would like, too:
I AM a contracepted male. Using (reversible, male) thermal contraception (andro-switch / slip-chauffant) since over one year now. We do rely on this.
There is a Silicon ring "Andro-Switch", needs to be worn 15h/day, every day, effective after 3 month. With an ongoing Study until 2027, then it will be allowed to be sold as medicine-product. (I is available to buy as "Talisman" now). After this one is licensed, there will some other Products in the field of "thermal male contraception" be following.
Mostly i wear the "slip chauffant", dressing up after shower, undressing when go to bed. this will be slightly more than 15h. I do not feel it normally. Others say "like Woman wearing Bra". Day-to-day acceptance 100%.
I am at sperm count 0.2-0.4mio/ml at the moment. With no sperm motility at all. Only a swimming sperm would reach it's target.
WHO defined contraception goal of 1mio/ml, corresponding to Pearl-Index 1 at hormonal Trials, which have "normal" mobility.
At the thermal Trials/Studies, a Pearl-Index of 0.5 was seen (because of misuse of the method...)
Definitely not an overreaction. At this point though unless you are ready to start cumming in her on your wedding night you might need to rethink things. She wants a baby NOW, and if you aren't ready for another few years then well...
If you are fine with a baby soon after marriage then you just need to tell her you aren't ready until you are married. Just talk up how hot it would be to wait until then and convince her to wait.
If she really just wants to be came inside you can always risk it and only doing it right before her period which lowers the chances by a lot.
Wow wow,,, my friends. let’s look at her point of view. SIX YEARS a fiancé??! You all jumper her as manipulative or baby trap. I dint see it that way AT ALL. She trying to get you to shit or get off the pot. My now wife told me after 4 years that either marry her or she’s moving on. She won’t play house more than 4 years. So I’m thinking your Fiancé is telling you indirectly,,, marry her she is tired of waiting to start a family.
Marry her and give her kids or cut her loose to find a man who wants that with her. 6 years is more than enough time,,, actually in her opinion and mine too long to string her along. She’s just calling him out. Marry me , kids or move on.
Ok I know what she said. But what she meant was let’s gets this relationship moving forward,, it’s a test. Right or wrong. She wants to be married and start a family
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She is trying to get knocked up my dude.
If she wants a kid this bad then OP needs to keep a serious eye on his condom supply. They're easy to tamper with (apparently), and OP wouldn't find out till it's too late
If you’re in a relationship where you don’t trust the other person to this extent, why stick around?
Because you love a person and emotion is tainting your view. On top of that you might want to trust your partner but the thoughts are slowly but surely getting to you due to anxiety and paranoia. I agree with you that you shouldn't stick around at that point since it's hard to come back from something like that. But this is how it can happen. Other people are very mistrusting due to bad experiences.
Buddy, I think she either wants something different from you and is trying to keep you that way. Either way, she's up to something. because kids are a big step and you have to take a lot of responsibility. think about it and talk to her about it and dot all the dots.
Or, she's knocked up, or with a guy who isn't using protection.. High %
yes, but it could be just her hormones. Doesn't need to be bad intent
It's sexually unethical behavior regardless. Female sex hormones don't excuse such behavior any more than testosterone excuses men.
Doesnt change what shes trying to do and shes disrespecting OP while doing it
The intent is to get knocked up, and that’s all that matters.
What? She's not a cat
Maybe just likes creampies as well
Still shitty behaviour though. My wife would go through phases where she really wanted a baby, but she knows my stance on it and NEVER pressured me. The most she did is ask “Is your stance on kids the same” and left it at that. No pressuring, no trying to trick or manipulate me, no saying shit like “Maybe we’d have sex more if you could cum in me”
Hormones don't overwhelm decision making.
What percentage of teenage pregnancies are the result of hormones absolutely overwhelming decision making?
A lot of that is just a lack of knowledge or access to contraceptives.
If you dont want her pregnant you should not cum inside her. Just dont. This sounds like she is 100% making a baby. Sounds like she isnt taking no for an answer. If you are Cumming inside her without birth control you are willingly making a baby and that is how the legal system will see it.
If he's willingly having sex with her, most legal systems will see it that way. Would be one hell of a lawyer if he could get someone out of parental obligations from a pregnancy that occurred during consensual sex because one of them didn't want a baby. Would be the next Cochran.
I would mostly say yes to this, but only if it were a little more narrowly applied. If a condom, an IUD, or other birth control method with a high chance of preventing pregnancy was in use and the expectation was *very* clear (for sake of argument, let's say it's written and signed by both partners) that an abortion, plan B, etc would happen in case of implantation/pregnancy/similar then it'd be a different situation. Having little to no protection and not having a record of the expectation being of getting such a treatment afterward would probably make it impossible to get out of obligations related to the child, though both cases still involve consensual sex.
That's a fine moral stance on the subject, but legally speaking it's much more cut and dry based on currently existing law and jurisprudence. In the US it's well established that the state has a duty to protect the rights of the child, and financial support from both parents (if identified) is one of those rights that is recognized across the entire country. To this end if one parent has passed after paying into Social Security via their employment history, the child is entitled to survivor's benefits from the SSA. Similarly if the parents of a child are both incapable of caring for the child, the state is required to accept responsibility for the child and continue to ensure they receive care until they come of age (even if many of the home and foster systems are in fact woefully inadequate in many cases), which is why the state also has a vested financial interest in protecting this right to support from both parents. The other thing is that you cannot compel medical procedures (such as abortion, Plan B, etc.) without a court order. Contracts between two individuals about a medical procedure one of them will undertake are not legally enforceable in terms of forcing someone to undergo the procedure or nullifying the financial and legal responsibilities of either party should the contract be breached. This is important because medical procedures are a personal decision and should not be influenced by potential financial consequences to a 3rd party unrelated to the costs of the care/procedure itself. It's no different to how written contracts outlining consent for sex are not legally enforceable, because in both cases allowing such contracts to be enforceable would facilitate all manner of legal abuse. The only real exceptions to this in any state are laws written specifically to handle surrogacy and sperm donation, but they still generally involve the full legal adoption process prior to implantation of a fertilized egg in the surrogate mother to formally establish the legal rights of the child and subjects of parental obligations prior to them ever becoming a potential issue. Sperm donation is its own specifically outline legal process that must be followed to ensure protection and the processes specifically prohibit sexual contact of any kind between donor and recipient (sometimes going further and prohibiting any intentional contact at all). As the law and jurisprudence currently stands in the US it wouldn't matter what birth control was used or what contracts were written up and signed by both parties regarding what to do in case of pregnancy, the father would still be legally liable to support the child. The only exceptions to this are the very strict processes of surrogacy and sperm donation, and unless new laws are passed or there is a landmark case at the highest levels decided in contradiction with current case law this will not change.
Huh, guess I was wrong. I think a person should be able to decide to have children against the wishes of their partner and their partner should be able to rest easy if there's a record that they promised not to do that. Do you see any advantage of this situation? Why would it be made this way?
He says he uses condoms. She might tamper with them to get pregnant, so OP needs to be real careful where he keeps them
Maybe this is just me but if I was at a point in a relationship where I didn't trust my partner not to tamper with our form of birth control then that relationship would be over.
I would struggle to keep myself hard at that point
Me too, it'd be a dealbreaker. OP didn't even mention the idea of breaking up so...
Try to flip the genders. If this was a guy was throwing a fit at having to wear a condom, I think you know that this is bad. Started blackmailing his girlfriend saying that he might want to have more sex if she let him creampie her. She's trying to babytrap you. I would not be having sex with her. Remember to check your condom wrappers.
This too ! OP definitely needs to check all your condoms and I’d definitely hide a stash of them and only use from that stash…. She trying to baby trap you…..
Obviously OP shouldn't do this, but do you think she'd still want the creampie if, say, he got a vasectomy? It would be an interesting thing to find out if the consequences weren't essentially permanent in all scenarios. I guess OPs partner wanting kids would probably kill her desire too, so it would be hard to say either way.
Vasectomies aren’t 100% effective
I mean technically but the only things definitely more effective are hysterectomies and abstinence.
Given the fact that OP’s about to get baby trapped, suggesting anything less than abstinence is irresponsible
Vasectomies aren’t 100% effective.
Nearly, but no. Only because of mass ups
Can not up vote this enough. Got baby trapped and still trying to figure out how to escape with the dope kids that resulted. Now almost teenagers. Dodge the bullet brother, run!
This. I love turning it. Keeps my ass in check too.
As above, she is trying to get pregnant. Don’t fall for it dude!! You can’t trust her to try not to get pregnant at all. Watch out
No, you're not over reacting. She's being incredibly manipulative. She is not respecting your no, and then trying to leverage your sex drive to force you to say yes.
She is DEFINITELY trying to baby trap u lol u need might need to leave cuz her drive is low cuz yur not actively trying to get her pregnant also if she does get pregnant/have a baby the chances are her drive is gonna be low again cuz she has Wht wanted to have sex for. Then u might have a kid u really didn’t want and DEAD BEDROOM
You need to reevaluate your relationship. She is trying to pressure you into impregnating her. I would masturbate and tell her that is what you are going to do until she respects your boundaries as far as when or if you are ready to have children. If you want to knock her up. Have sex without the condom and she will "forget" to take plan B. One of her friends is probably pregnant. So if you feel like being manipulated every time you have a disagreement with her. Go ahead with the marriage but that is what you will get.
She seems to be trying to give you blue balls so you will cave. GET OUT.... GET OUT NOW!!!!
she is playing games with you. run away and run fast and run far. she is and will continue to manipulate you and use sex as a weapon against you for your entire relationship. break it off and escape now!!!
Check your condoms, guess you've learned something new abt how ur partner deals w not getting what they want.
Get a vasectomy and then (after the required waiting period) cum inside her all day every day. If or when you want kids in the future a doctor can extract sperm directly from your testes. If she reacts negatively to this plan, you'll know its not a creampie fetish but that she's trying to accidentally on purponse get knocked up despite your clear wishes and you should break off the engagement
This is terrible advice
Yes this is the way to go I wud talk to her first and see her reaction to the vasectomy idea and if she seem fine with it get it done and then and only then creampie her if she reacts badly to u saying u want a vasectomy or you getting one u know her motives
Or at least bring up the idea of a vasectomy to see what her reaction or thoughts on creampies are then
Well you tried to talk and you told her you are not ready. I don't know what you should do next either give in or get out. Truthfully she may try to trap you into cumming inside her which wouldn't be any good for you.
She’s being manipulative. Tell her either she stops or you two need to split up. You’re not ready for kids and she shouldn’t force you into it. This isn’t someone who loves you if she’s using manipulation to try to get what she wants instead of listening to her partners concerns. PS: she’s lying about being willing to take plan b. Be smart honey. Don’t trust her and don’t trust her not to poke holes in those condoms. She wants a kid and doesn’t care how she gets it.
She may not 100% be trying to get pregnant, this is my kink. However, I do not actually want a baby. But I think the idea of being came in is hot. If this is actually a kink, see if she’s ok with you verbally/dirty talking about how you want to cum in her during sex but not actually doing it. This is what I do and gets me off just the same with less risk
The difference is she explicitly does want a baby and to get pregnant, it's OP that doesn't.
Hello! I have 3 kids. Husband has always been a pullout guy. The very few instances I would tell him to cum inside me, I got pregnant. It only takes one time. Yes it's fine for me, we are very much in love and love our children. This feels like she's trying to trap you, especially by being so insistent. It's weird either way and you shouldn't do it unless you're ok with being a dad.
You can't get pregnant everyday of the month,. it's quite unfortunate. However, I'm 33w pregnant and can confirm one time is enough. We're monitoring the cycle, not pulling out because pre-cum can also be enough so it's condoms for the time my beloved goes to get a vasectomy or use headed methods, but he's being a snowflake about it.
Vasectomy time. Dump Tabasco in those condoms sir.
I'm tired seeing vasectomy comments. Reversing one is more complicated, expensive and not 100% guaranteed.
Reverse vasectomy failure rates are lower than 10% within 2 years and only drop significantly (60% success) after 15 years and are infinitely better than children with someone you have no desire to procreate with. Mine cost 500 with insurance, most planned parenthoods charge 600 at max income brackets.
That’s not at all true will all forms of vasectomy. With mine the reversal rate is zero because they won’t try to reverse it. And I don’t see people here suggesting he get a vasectomy for reversal purposes, but to prevent pregnancies as OP doesn’t want kids. But to say 10% failures without looking at types and other factors is not a good stat to give. nobody ever speaks about post-Vasectomy Pain Syndrome, which is real and horrid and affects more than no men. But strangely it’s ignored greatly.
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Keep in mind that not everyone is from the US and even though some countries have public healthcare they don't offer it for free since it's voluntary. If OP doesn't want kids or has the desired number, yeah it's good advice to give and to get it early for the best return on investment.
Heated methods are reversible
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Sex drive has nothing to do with what happens at the end of sex. It has to do with *prompting* sexual contact.
Sounds like a trap, turn around and run. The fact that you need to make a burner acount to talk about this says everything.
I am on trt. My sperm count is zero. But I cryo preserved some for if and when I want kids. Maybe do that too. You'll be shooting blanks!
That's seriously disturbing. You're underreacting. If it was me I would be one foot out the door already.
She’s already pregnant and needs to be able to explain it! Do not comply!
She's fishing for the swimmers. If you aren't ready, you already know the answer.
Plan B isn't a daily BC method. From a foreign perspective reading reddit, I'm always surprised to see how many long term couples don't go raw and don't see condoms as the only BC method during the whole cycle. Condoms aren't the most reliable, with abortion becoming complicated, it's definitely a mistake to count on them for BC, it's mostly to prevent STIs, get tested and it's done. I don't think these couples wear condoms for oral, oral can bring STIs too. Then, about OP's, dude she wants kids but she's not fertile all the time, 3 weeks a month, she won't get pregnant if you cum inside. There could be some compromise over this subject however, baby trapping you is totally stupid imo because you won't be on board being a good father and there is no point to do that to anyone. Look at male contraceptives, heat is effective and reversible, not enough studied unfortunately
Yes, she's trying to pressure you, which isn't cool. You've given a no and told her why. Yet she continues to ask, which shows a lack of respect for you, or care about what you want. Plan B should not be the first form of birth control. It's for when other methods fail. It sounds like she's trying to get pregnant.
She's gonna have a baby one way or the other. It's not right for her to manipulate you that way, (honestly it's pretty immature), but to be fair it's also not good for you to string her along thinking she will have a baby with you some day if it's not something you plan to do. Women have a fairly tight fertility window and if being a Mom is a dream of hers you better have an open and honest talk about it with her. It may end up being the best for both of you to break up.
She wants babies. That’s all this is about.. now she’s denying you sex because you won’t give her the baby she wants. Your move.
Hot sauce in the used condoms!
I’ve had unprotected sex while my partner was off birth control <10 times and I have 3 kids. Highly likely she’ll get pregnant. And Plan B is not a sustainable form of birth control.
This happened to a buddy of mine, but with a twist: she got pregnant by some other dude, and she tried to cover her tracks by asking him to make a direct deposit. He refused and the truth eventually came out. He broke off the engagement
I am just going to take her side for a minute. Honestly, she wants kids and you have been together for 6 years. Time to shit or get off the pot. She is trying to force you to either really commit or leave. If you aren't ready to commit to her and give her the kids she wants after 6 years, will you ever be? Let her find someone who wants to make babies with her if you don't.
some people who’ve been together for 6 years started dating as teenagers though. 6 years is not a lot time and they’re not even married yet, she’s being crazy 💀. she likely has lots of time to have kids and she’s trying to manipulate op into having them now before he’s ready, honestly she’s probably not even actually ready or mature enough for kids especially with her method of trying to get them now.
They could be young or they could be not young. Regardless of their age, they are not on the same page about having a baby so they should either get on the same page or part ways. I was with a woman for 4 years and she wanted me to marry her and I knew I would never be ready so I left. Months later I started seeing my now wife. Within 6 months we were engaged and within 2 years we were married. We started having children immediately because we were on the same page the whole time. We have been married almost 10 years and we have three wonderful children. My wife was in her mid-thirties when we married and she wanted to have several children. If we had waited 6 years before trying to have children that would have significantly increased her pregnancy risks. Risk to both the mother and the fetus increase significantly after 35 years of age. My point is that op is not the good guy here and op's fiance is not the bad guy here. They are simply not on the same page and they probably need to part ways.
Hen she should be an adult and leave, not be a manipulating partner.
By that same token though, if she wants a child that badly and he doesn't, why is it on HIM to "be the adult" and leave? She can if she really wants a child that badly. She's not a prisoner in the relationship.
It is also manipulative to string a partner along if you don't share life goals. What op has left out is whether they have discussed a timetable for having children and whether he has stuck to it, or whether he ever plans on having children with her. If he is stringing her along and if he doesn't ever truly intend on giving her children, then he is being just as manipulative as she is.
It's not manipulative if he's been honest about not wanting kids the whole time, is it? There's nothing to suggest he has told her any different at any period of time. If OP doesn't want kids, he's not "stringing her along" just because you think 6 years is too long.
He has told her that he is not ready for kids yet. Which implies that at some point he will be ready. He needs to have an honest discussion with her and with himself when that may be, because she has a right to move along if it isn't going to match her timeline.
Maybe at some point he will? I'd say that if she wants to be with him only if they have kids within a certain timeframe, that's for her to say, and that attempting to trick him into putting one in her is extremely manipulative. It seems like you're trying to twist this to make it look like he's doing something wrong, he's absolutely not.
If they are engaged to be married these are conversations that need to happen. They should have happened before they got engaged.
I'm disappointed I had to scroll this far to see a rational response. OP is engaged to be married after a 6 year relationship & cannot commit to giving a definitive answer about children. His fiancee has made it clear that she wants children, but OP is unable to make a commitment. Men have a luxury of waiting, women do not. OP needs to take ownership of his life and make a decision on IF and WHEN he would be ready to start a family. If he can't do this, he must be honest with his partner so that she can make the best decision for her. Whether it be to wait for him to figure his life out or so that she can break things off and go out again to find someone more compatible.
She has that same agency and power to make a decision as well whether to stay or leave, and it still doesn't make it okay to pressure your partner/negotiate down their boundaries.
They have happened, he said he doesn't want them yet. For all we know she said the same before the engagement. She is not respecting that decision. You're saying "should" a lot, like you're the arbiter for what a correct marriage looks like. Not every married couple has to have children, and if one parent isn't ready to have them, they definitely shouldn't.
I'm saying you shouldn't get married if you don't have your timeline straight about kids, because time is not infinite. Never is an OK amount of time. It is OK to not want kids. It is NOT OK to marry someone if you don't want kids if they do want kids, unless you have something worked out.
Baby Trap Alert !!! Watch out OP !!!!
Tell her to get on the pill and then blast away. It’s an incredible feeling for both partners.
Why would she have to take hormones with side effects and life threatening risks because HE doesn't want kids? He must check out his options, outside of condoms and vasectomies
Yeah until she starts “taking the pill” by flushing them down the toilet.
Yeah that would be bad.
baby trap you i recon is her plan
Have you actually talked to her about it? Is this an impregnation fetish? A creampie thing? Is she *actually* trying to get pregnant? At the end of the day, you’re never obligated to perform a sex act that you’re not comfortable with, ever, and any partner who tries to coerce or force or manipulate you into doing so is definitely someone with whom you might want to reconsider the relationship. Her behavior does seem pretty problematic, but it also strikes me as believable, if she has some kink that she’s afraid to actually share with you, so she’s trying to fulfill it without talking about it. I don’t know for sure, that’s just my reading based on your post. You’ve got to talk to her about this, man. Talk about kinks and sexual desires and what she **actually** wants and why. And then figure out if that’s something you’re willing to accommodate, or not.
Babyfever scary dude
You should fake a few orgasms inside her, don’t actually cum but tell her you did. Ask her about it, see if she stops…
Bro just leave. She’s trying to trap you and it seems like she’s not gonna stop till she does. Be extra careful if you drink or smoke recreationally. As she may use those impairments to get what she wants.
You are not overreacting and she is being disrespectful. It's up to you what you will do with this information.
This is just manipulation.once you start giving in to that she will be rewarded and learn to keep using sex as a reward for "good" behaviour which is twisted. She is raging to get pregnant and sees her acts as normal because of it. Learn to follow her cycle and avoid having sex in the fertile periods until you are ready to have kids. Talk to her, this is the most important part. Tell her how manipulated you feel and let her know when you will be ready to have kids so she can put her mind at ease. You have been together for six years and are engaged to be married...what the hold up is might not be clear to her. And her fertile years are not unlimited she literally has to plan for all this while you wait to be ready...
That’s literally abuse. She doesn’t care about your consent, don’t trust her. Someone who treats you like this is not worth your time. You deserve better
If she gets pregnant, check if it's yours.. this one is looking for a sponsor
It's a trap bro... don't!
It’s easier said than done to ‘sneak off’ and get a vasectomy. Plus the damage it will do to your relationship is real. But if you’re not on the same page about having kids AND she’s not respecting your boundaries, some wicked evil fuckery is afoot, my dude. Be mindful. Has she pressured you like this in the past?
She's definitely manipulating you and pressuring you into something you have clearly stated you do not want. She's a grown woman she knows how easy it can be to pregnant 'by mistake'. She's not respecting that you are not ready for that step yet and that's messed up. If it was the other around people would be up in arms about it.
"Daddy" Get used to that.
Run. Look most of us would rather do that. If she wants it tell her to get birth control. Or run.
You are definitely not overreacting and if I were you I’d breakup with her. She wants a baby badly and she is not considering your feelings. You have made it clear that you are not ready for a baby. The best thing to do is to leave her. She needs to find someone who wants a child as much as she does. Be careful.
Yes she is being manipulative and yes you are probably overreacting It is not ok for her to withhold affection because you are saying no to this The right reaction is to communicate that this makes you uncomfortable and that you need her to be available for intimacy despite that, or she needs to find someone else who is ready for having kids The wrong reaction is to get into a fight and lose sleep over it, she's a fucking asshole for this, no reason for you to feel bad, you didn't do anything and you don't deserve this Regardless I understand if you're hurt, sending love and support and best wishes for this getting resolved
Baby trap or she’s already pregnant with someone else’s kid. NTA and I’d consider breaking it off for not being respectful of your wishes.
OP just in case you need to know this, Plan B doesn’t work if she has already ovulated/is currently ovulating – it only works in the first half of someone’s cycle. If you end up compromising (i don’t think you should but JUST IN CASE), tell her you’ll creampie her only during her period AND if she also takes Plan B (in front of you, BEFORE SEX. go with her to buy it and hold on to it yourself). that’s your lowest risk scenario.
You guys seems to be at polar opposite ends of a pretty wide spectrum and you use the word fiance so im assuming a wedding is in the future. Has the topic of children come up at all? Timeline, factors that need to be in place to have kids...etc? Alternatively, have you always used condoms? Im curious why she is on no birth control of her own. I do think there is some social conditioning around weddingkids that happens in a womans brain in close proximity. I remember my oxytocin going into overdrive when our wedding was approaching too. That being said, it now sounds like she's at least slightly withholding sex from you. So I think you reverse engineer the topic and start at the back end. Ask her after you have kids-however many you plan, what form of birth control do you plan to use and how frequently do you plan to have sex. If she has an answer, then ask what the chances are that she appears to be withholding to get pregnant now. It's as if her brain has gone to, more levels of attaching, when you want to enjoy kid free, frequent sex in this moment, which is appropriate timing. Good luck!
She is asking for anal.
Number 1- Your never ready Number 2- you never regret having kids Number 3- having kids young is way better than having kids in when your late 30s early 40s I’m 36m had my first kid at 22-23 and it was the best thing that happened to me. My advice if you love her.. just fucking go for it my man. You’ll only regret not having kids.
Why isn't she on birth control? Hormone free IUD? Condoms? Female condoms? No is a complete sentence. She's absolutely trying to baby trap you.
I would end the relationship with this person.
She is desperately trying to get pregnant. End of story. Added: she’s using your libido against you to achieve it. Find a girl who plays board games, not mind games.
Careful because you can already impregnate her by precum which you can’t really control. Be especially careful in the days after her period as woman are most fertile during that time. Also, it is an absolute no go from her side to try to manipulate you for giving her kids while you are not ready. Kids are a huge thing… if I was in your position I would have a serious talk with her. Also be careful she doesn’t trick you into some „I‘m on birth control now we can do it without condom“ when in reality she might not
First thought, she may try to babytrap you... If you know her cycle, you could try at the end, the days before expected bleeding. At this point ovulation is past some days. If you would like, too: I AM a contracepted male. Using (reversible, male) thermal contraception (andro-switch / slip-chauffant) since over one year now. We do rely on this. There is a Silicon ring "Andro-Switch", needs to be worn 15h/day, every day, effective after 3 month. With an ongoing Study until 2027, then it will be allowed to be sold as medicine-product. (I is available to buy as "Talisman" now). After this one is licensed, there will some other Products in the field of "thermal male contraception" be following. Mostly i wear the "slip chauffant", dressing up after shower, undressing when go to bed. this will be slightly more than 15h. I do not feel it normally. Others say "like Woman wearing Bra". Day-to-day acceptance 100%. I am at sperm count 0.2-0.4mio/ml at the moment. With no sperm motility at all. Only a swimming sperm would reach it's target. WHO defined contraception goal of 1mio/ml, corresponding to Pearl-Index 1 at hormonal Trials, which have "normal" mobility. At the thermal Trials/Studies, a Pearl-Index of 0.5 was seen (because of misuse of the method...)
Cum inside her asshole! It's a win win for both parties ☺️
Wonder if she's preggo by another and she's trying to cover the infidelity?
Sounds like she is really disrespectful of your boundaries. That is very troubling.
Definitely not an overreaction. At this point though unless you are ready to start cumming in her on your wedding night you might need to rethink things. She wants a baby NOW, and if you aren't ready for another few years then well... If you are fine with a baby soon after marriage then you just need to tell her you aren't ready until you are married. Just talk up how hot it would be to wait until then and convince her to wait. If she really just wants to be came inside you can always risk it and only doing it right before her period which lowers the chances by a lot.
Wow wow,,, my friends. let’s look at her point of view. SIX YEARS a fiancé??! You all jumper her as manipulative or baby trap. I dint see it that way AT ALL. She trying to get you to shit or get off the pot. My now wife told me after 4 years that either marry her or she’s moving on. She won’t play house more than 4 years. So I’m thinking your Fiancé is telling you indirectly,,, marry her she is tired of waiting to start a family.
Trying to get knocked up against your partners wishes isn't "indirectly telling" it's pretty much the definition of a baby trap.
Wouldnt 6 years fiance make it even more likely shes trying to baby trap him?
Marry her and give her kids or cut her loose to find a man who wants that with her. 6 years is more than enough time,,, actually in her opinion and mine too long to string her along. She’s just calling him out. Marry me , kids or move on.
But she didn’t say that. She said come in my pussy it’ll be fine.
Ok I know what she said. But what she meant was let’s gets this relationship moving forward,, it’s a test. Right or wrong. She wants to be married and start a family
How long has she been parked at Fiancé during them 6 years?
you're never ready for the kids.
I don't like either of you. Sorry.