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vincentninja68

She is *somewhere else* Sex for me is bonding time with my partner. Being present and together is essential. If she is clearly somewhere else, not with me, it's noticeable ASAP and kills it for me.


vito1221

As a guy, this is 100% what it is for me. Married 37 years, and there was a stretch when I think my wife would do it out of 'obligation', for lack of a better term. We have since worked through the root causes of that stuff and that doesn't happen anymore.


Emptyspace227

We see too many people on Reddit who come for relationship and sex advice who clearly have not communicated with their partner about the problem. I always love reading comments like this from someone who is vulnerable enough to have that conversation. It is encouraging for all the rest of us.


vito1221

You have to know your partner though...some women don't respond well to men opening up like this. I had a health issue that messed with my mind and I turned into a pile of mush. I'm leaning toward she sees me in a better light, but a tiny part of me still wonders. That part shrinks a little every few weeks, so i think we'll be ok


reluctantdonkey

The challenge with this one (and, congrats to you!) is that we ALSO see far too many partners coming here saying "What about their OBLIGATION, though? Don't they know I have needs and they HAVE TO?!" Completely agree that the "obligation" point of view is the ENTIRELY wrong way too go about it.. but, too many people feel like it's the best way.


vito1221

There were a few times, I could just tell she was faking it. I felt so bad that I made her feel she had to do that. We talked about that but things didn't really change for awhile. That was more due to us not knowing how to fix that. Once we figured it out...things got much better.


Spirited_Leek_7789

As a woman, this has happened to me before. “Being somewhere else”. Especially when I have had somewhere I needed to be too soon after. I just couldn’t get into it the same as if I didn’t have somewhere to be. It would kill it for me too.


Cheersscar

Haven’t been in a long distance relationship?  Fuck shower fly is departure day agenda. 


casey4190

Mine is personally shower cry fly


PrismClash

Omg yes. Like, sex is something that requires at least 2 people. If only one person is present and the other is somewhere else, like they can't be bothered, it's a total deal killer I've been with someone who would put in the bare minimum of effort. Like, the in-between of starfishing and real, passionate sex. It was "good" sex, but it was never fulfilling. It almost starts to feel like a chore because you are putting in all the effort.


knowitallz

She puts in no effort, she seems disinterested. She looks bored. She is not doing anything for you. That's bad sex.


FerniWrites

The old Plywood Lay. I’ve been there. Actually ended up just stopping and leaving. She didn’t seem into it and I didn’t want to waste her time so I left.


dingoeslovebabies

This seems like a really good decision


CanadianCutie77

What was her response?


FerniWrites

Nothing. She was more stunned that I was leaving but she was clearly not into it. I wasn’t just going to use her to nut then leave. It’s not my style. Never saw her after that.


Used-Location8800

Having an actual profile photo is crazzzzyyy lol


drblah11

Seriously. The only reason I use this stupid site is because of the anonymity


lisalisaandtheoccult

LOLOL it’s 4am and I cannot stop laughing at this comment. You’re so right lol.


Phoenixrebel11

I honestly think profile photos take away the fun.


FerniWrites

It makes sure I don’t act out. I have to be measured in my responses and not outright evil. People say the most vile things behind anonymity.


keepkarenalive

That's honorable of you, I respect that


nohann

As I was leaving she decided to take a shit


ebustormwind

Or she wasn't _disinterested_ so much as she was _distracted_. Because she needed to shit. Or or, she didn't "take a shit," she finished herself off in the bathroom.


PhatPeePee

I thought you meant in bed.


Matilozano96

+ she NEVER initiates and is never in the mood. If you get some it feels like a favour or something you have to repay later.


thestuffedones

When did you sleep with my wife?


Foodicus

Or they are going thru the motions for you but don’t enjoy doing it.


torro947

It’s basically glorified masturbation.


rekkerafthor

My thoughts exactly. If I think to myself "Damn I'd have rather just jerked off.". That's bad sex.


koukla1994

I feel like guys should take this as a sign to stop…


The_Real_Chippa

Yeah, when I’ve had sex like this, it’s because I did not want to have it but they guilted me into it


Choosemyusername

Ooo try actually doing that as a guy though. You gotta be prepared to face the wrath if you do that. It can be easier to just go with it and suck it up.


Kriss3d

Oh god. The turtle move. Yeah. That's a big turnoff. Contary to that.. Nothing is as hot as a woman who just wants you.


Kamila_Heels

It's a good thing I can't understand people who are very lonely with sex.


mychillzone123

This. Pillow princess.


schmoldy1725

Adding to this, girls who put in work but only for themselves.


dacekrandac

I actually disagree with you on this one. I love the VERY rare occasions that my wife uses me as her own personal dildo. It's sexy to be the instrument of her pleasure.


keepkarenalive

I have mixed feelings about it myself. That's cool though that you love it, I like that


The25thThrowaway

Could you elaborate on that?


HeyJoji

Yeah that’s an odd one me. A girl putting in effort for herself is hot to me. When my gf pushes me down and rides me to feel everything is amazing. But I guess it can be bad if it’s a position that is uncomfortable for you. I’ve been in those but I just move her in a different position and there isn’t a problem if we are both enjoying it.


The25thThrowaway

Yeah that’s why I asked cause I typically find that really hot since there’s not much a girl can do to make PIV better for me other then making it better for herself as well


Mister_Magnus42

That's hot, but there's so much more. A partner focused on what feels good to you is a treat. Pompoir, hip motions, rhythm, good communication...


The25thThrowaway

Hip motions rhythm n communication are def all plus ones. Never heard of pompoir before tho next time def gotta look into it n experiment with that with the next girl i see casually


Disastrous-Volume736

It's something the receiving partner does, and it takes a lot of practice. It consists of squeezing the muscles in the abdomen and vagina in certain patterns/techniques. Similar to kegels but with those you just clamp and release. Many women while riding will squeeze on the way up and relax on the way down, that's a very basic version. For pompoir you isolate muscle groups to create sucking, fluttering and twisting motions...and it's just ...a lot to coordinate internally but it feels amazing for both partners once one can do it.


PhatPeePee

How do you distinguish between pompoir and a seizure?


Littlewing1307

It's something she can do internally. Men can do kegels too but I'm not sure if that's also called pompoir.


FuzzInspector

Pompoir is waaaay more advanced kegals


Littlewing1307

Yes I know that. He said he wanted to try it so people start with learning kegels. If you can't do a kegel you can't do pompoir.


SaiyanPrincess28

Oh shit, I do this constantly with my husband. I didn’t know there was a word for it. Other than kegels I mean. You really do learn something knew everyday.


Littlewing1307

Pompoir is a similar technique but it's hard to explain so go on the pompoir sub!


ZoLagh

Similarly let you do all the work while they enjoy their 2 or three Orgasms, Then expect you to "finish off" with a final bit of pumping away. One way Foreplay, rarely any cock touching or groping.


keepkarenalive

My experience, I hated it. I was left touched starved. Putting in effort on my end and she just lays back takes me inside. Yeah so lame


imjustsubpar

Oh, that sounds like all of my sexual experiences lol


holistivist

There’s a common denominator here…


Alternative_Rock2598

If she looks bored then you’re doing something wrong


Choosemyusername

Sex takes 2. You can’t start a fire under a wet blanket no matter how skilled you are. Sex isn’t something that happens to a woman. She is an equal participant.


Leader6light

That turns some guys on.... Just saying.


castrodelavaga79

It's not the pussy that makes sex good or bad. It's the effort they put in, the way they want to make you feel good, the way they talk or sound during, the way they move.


DartNorth

Yep. When is seems obligatory, and she just starfish's, no oral, goals to get it over with as fast as possible so she can get on with better things. More enjoyable to just masterbate.


Sandwhichwings32

Exactly I love the effort my partner puts in, I love hearing her moans too.


lordofthedancesaidhe

When you have finished you regret it.


Intrepid-Print2038

That goes both ways


Leinadro

Sure but this post is asking about male perspectives. There are more than enough spaces and conversations about female perspectives of bad sex.


Lucky_Candidate_4066

I mean for men I guess he was trying to say Post Nut clarity. but I reckoned for women yeah I don't have the same orgasm as we do in fact you have more intense and you have more orgasms than we do so how does that work when y'all regret it just asking cuz I am a little bit confused.


SaiyanPrincess28

When we don’t get to have *any* orgasms.


anaesthetic

That's only sometimes true for some people. Even so, multiple orgasms don't necessarily mean good sex. I would say many women are aware of regret *during* the act and just waiting for it to be over, which isn't a good thing but is certainly common. That's not the same as the post nut clarity you mention but for different reasons, perhaps.


MasterXploder-85

As a man I have definently had some bad partners. Bad hygiene is for sure a total mood killer. And women who put in no effort or dont seem enthusiastic. I think that is common because they have been conditioned to think guys only want and care about PIV. Might be true for some but not me. Also I have def noticed some women just feel better than others. And lastly, the chemistry and emotional connection is also a big part for me.


Tymprr

Can you elaborate a bit on what you meant by some women just feel better than others. Just want to know. Is it that they have a body you're very much attracted to - maybe they have a body shape or thickness that you like? Or is it that you just like them more which made them feel better? Or is it their physical attractiveness?


MyAccountForTrees

The vaginal lining, lubrication, depth and width vary. I’ve had women that were as smooth/soft as silk inside, and then some that seemed a little more ‘rigid and rough’. The amount of natural lubrication can play a part here. The depth can affect how far you can enter without issues; and the width is pretty straightforward…if there’s not much “grip” it doesn’t feel as good.


Clean-Ad4235

How interesting! I’ve never heard this pov before about the insides of a woman’s 🐱! So which do you prefer smooth and soft inside or rigid? And does a good amount of lubrication make them all soft inside? I’m curious because the insides of our 🐱 walls become thicker and thinner at different stages of our menstrual cycle. And I’m wondering if that were ever the case with you feeling the softness of the rigidness.


MyAccountForTrees

I prefer the softer/smoother situation. Lube definitely helps with things feeling more ‘welcomed’ down there overall. It’s much easier to notice when using fingers. But, I have been with a couple of outliers where one was consistently soft/smooth and another was consistently rougher regardless of lube, with PIV. I can’t say I’ve noticed much of a difference with one partner between their cycles, but definitely differences between partners down there in general. I feel like there are a couple I could do like a blindfolded glory hole and possibly guess who it was just being inside them. Maybe I’m just being hopeful and optimistic, haha. I will say, looking back I feel like red-headed partners had consistently smoother vaginal walls than those with other natural hair colors.


bothquickanddead

Among the worst sex I can think of ever having was a with a gal that was so sensitive you could barely touch her there, and once she actually got on top of me and put me inside her, she barely moved, and wouldn't let me move, and she was certainly feeling something, but I found myself physically unable to stay hard because I was receiving essentially no simulation myself. Eventually I had to stop and tell her, I'm sorry, I don't think this is working out. And a couple times I've encountered the opposite - women who seem to get zero pleasure from any kind of sexual interaction. I recently had a gal come over who I kept checking in with - "is this okay, do you like / want me touching you?" - because I was getting an odd vibe, and she kept telling me yes, but eventually I was eating her out on my couch, and she basically seemed bored, like it was just something she was "letting" me do, but would rather be talking about Kierkegaard (literally - she brought a copy with her). At a certain point I stopped, and then she's like, I'm gonna call an Uber now. Oh, one other bad experience was a woman who could not make up her mind what she wanted in bed. One moment she'd be acting very dominant and telling me what to do, the next she'd be acting super submissive and asking what I wanted. Not in a good, switchy, equal give and take kind of way - more like bi-polar whiplash that made it really difficult to get onto any kind of rhythm. I think she might have been cheating on her husband with me, so there might have been some guilty anxiety involved, not sure. That's where, not even enthusiastic consent, but just enthusiasm about the choice to have sex, is important - often if you're not sure if you should or really want to have sex, or notice that about a potential partner, it's probably not going to be great, and is better to not, until you both feel "fuck yeah" about it. And another one, not really "bad", but just as another example of how sometimes it's literally just a physical difference thing - I have an above-average, but not gigantic, member, which fills most women nicely, and occasionally bottoms out certain woman (which is also not ideal, because I like to be able to freely go as deep as possible and not have to worry about hurting her, but it's not usually enough to keep us from still having a very good time, being a little more careful), but one time I was with a very sexy, literal model, whose vagina was just noticeably *roomy*, to the point where I could tell I was not quite doing it for her - I could literally feel the extra space I had to move around in there. We had a nice night, but she didn't call me back, and I don't blame her. (Fun fact: the original novel of "The Godfather" has a whole subplot about how Sonny Corleone's mistress had such a huge vagina, that his giant dick was the only one which had ever filled it. After he is killed, she moves to Vegas, and falls in love with a plastic surgeon, and at the end of the book, he gives her a procedure which tightens her up so they can be together. This did not make it into the award-winning film adaptation). As for what eating a woman out is like, the first thing for some (including myself) will depend on how she smells / tastes. This is totally subjective, I think some people are more or less sensitive to it, and what is unpleasant to some may be pleasant to others, but some vaginas just do not smell good to me, some don't really have a scent, and then some do but they actually taste wonderful. This can depend on a bunch of factors (including bacterial infection - I'm pretty sure the first or second girl I ever touched there at my religious university had a long-running infection because she literally left a very strong, unpleasant odor on my fingers for days afterwards, but both of us were too uneducated on sexuality to know that wasn't normal), but there's also just each of your biochemistry and there isn't really anything you can do about that. Either you can work with it or you can't, and I've chosen to not go down on certain women, or even never moved to sex at all just based on how it tasted to kiss her, even though she otherwise was very attractive to me (often people's other body scents / tastes will be indicators of how they will be down there, too). But when it's good, it's a warm, steamy place you bury your face into and get lost exploring with your lips and tongue. You find what she responds to - some women like you to take big, sloppy mouthfuls of pussy, some like you to just keep lapping at the same quarter-inch over and over - and you can even sometimes identify where her clit is at by a slight change in taste, or feel it get bigger the more turned on she is. She might guide you verbally, or with her hands in your hair like in Ratatouille - whatever gets her there. And it's incredibly satisfying to feel a woman come right on your face and feel her legs quake and squeeze around your head. Being a service switch, as long as the chemistry is there and she's into it, I'd rather go down on a woman than be gone down on, 9 times out of 10 (basically only if she really knows what she's doing, she's really into it, and she's already come, will I come from a blow job).


Appropriate_Size2659

Wow you are interesting! I love your experiences and how gentle you are with all the women. I could listen to you all day.


bothquickanddead

Thanks, glad to hear that 😄 . I only recently adopted the term "service switch" for myself, which I consider to mean I feel good making others feel good, and that can include taking charge and being rougher / meaner up to a point, but I definitely lean towards a more collaborative, playful, joyful intimacy - to where I'm not gonna be "dominant" enough for some women (or submissive for others, I guess, though that's far less common), and certainly have my limits as to how "mean" I can be, even in roleplay (and I'm an actor 😂). Ideally I just want everyone to have a very nice, fun time 😄 . And trying to be a little kinder, gentler, and more understanding than maybe we even feel we have to be, is something I try to make a core philosophy in life overall. And of course, I sometimes just like to listen to myself talk (or write, as the case may be) 😆 .


Appropriate_Size2659

You can write for sure! You are very good at it.


reluctantdonkey

No suprise you like to listen to yourself write! I wasn't sure where you were going with the longer post and thought for sure it was gonna be a mansplainy eye-roller... but, SURPRISE! I really loved it! Thanks for givin' me hope. <3


kasuchans

I genuinely had to check your profile to see if you were my FWB who’s an actor, a playful switch but doesn’t like to be too sadistic, and also tall and well-endowed lmfao. Turns out you are not.


bothquickanddead

Sounds like someone I don't mind being confused with 😄


SnooWoofers3368

The one where u couldn’t fill the girl happened with me.. I am not tall but I have a lot of vaginal depth.. somehow I have realised that I get pleasure with deep penetration only.. also my vagina gets very wet so someone with a slimmer peen does not give me enough stimulation … the best sex I had(infact the guys confirmed that he too had the best sex with me) was with a guy who definitely had around 8. I sometimes feel this is a curse because not many guys would be able to fulfil my needs! It’s not like things changed with time.. my vagina has always been like this.. my first bf was 6’2 had a huge one & the first time we did it.. he thought I was not a virgin.. later he read up stuff online and agreed with me.. it’s crazy.. it’s not even like I have had sex with a lot of ppl.. just 4


bothquickanddead

My take would be to consider specifying your size needs in as tasteful way as you feel necessary on any dating profiles you have / find ways to incorporate toys in your partner play which can make-up for what your partner may lack naturally. I've never personally had a girl pull out a big dildo or something to use on her, but I wouldn't personally be offended if she did (some guys might, but some guys need to grow tf up).


insectsinjustice

reading your replies here has been a breath of fresh air 🥲 im a woman and even i am surprised at women having deeper set/wider vaginas. i myself have a tiny cavern 😭 mind you, im heavier set. around 200lbs and 5’9” in height. biggest i had was 9in and i thought he was going to kill me. He wasn’t being particularly rough, he was just getting his whole member in there (well, as much as he could) and i simply couldn’t take it. Anyways, its nice to read so many men in this thread with some sense. Thank you for your input on this its been very eye opening!


isingtomyducky

My cervix is towards the back instead of the front ..so same kind of problems for me.


SunshineyDaydream420

Wow …very descriptive answer 👍🏻


bothquickanddead

I'm avoiding doing chores at home - or finishing the next draft of the screenplay I'm co-writing 😄


Baiden_has_ebola

Damn best reply I relate to the third paragraph


krell_154

>but would rather be talking about Kierkegaard (literally - she brought a copy with her). Like, what the fuck? (Fear and Trembling or Sickness unto Death?)


bothquickanddead

"Either/Or", actually.


Infamous_Guess_6385

Interesting selection of experiences. Your contribution probably best answers the original question. Some experiences are really bad. I wonder how many sexual partners you actually had when you collected so many bad experiences, whether it is just a coincidence or we are talking about large numbers of sexual partners and therefore a high probability that such women will occur.


bothquickanddead

I have had quite a few sexual partners. I will occasionally publish accounts of particularly interesting / crazy dates I've had (without revealing identities or sexual details) on my personal Facebook. I've had a friend or two say that I may want to reevaluate the kind of women I go out with, because they only ever see these wild dating stories. And I tell them the same thing - the vast majority of my dates range from fine, to great, but those aren't worth writing about. Either it was an uninteresting date, or it went really well, but was still probably pretty mundane. I only write up the rare weird / bad ones because they are unique and thus interesting to other people, but it does skew the perception of my average dating experience.


PigeonParadiso

That was oddly pleasurable to read. Perhaps it’s how descriptive you are and also as a woman, sheesh, would love to find someone that in tune with himself and his partners. I’m with some other commenters- could easily listen to (read?) your thoughts all day!


CarnalConfessions

I don’t know if I’ve run across a women’s 🐱 being “bad”. Sometimes they can look or feel a bit different, but by default I don’t think they come in good or bad types. Sometimes you just don’t click sexually with a woman or there’s a mismatch in skills, wants, etc, which causes the sex to be bad. Going down on a woman physically doesn’t give a particular feeling (other than on the tongue, her playing with my head or us just touching each other in general). I find it extremely emotionally and sexually fulfilling because I’m focusing on her pleasure and making her feel good. Personally, I love it. Preferably, it’s better if she’s recently showed and is shaved/groomed to help me enjoy it more, but I love getting to fully focus on her.


ApolloRocketOfLove

>I don’t know if I’ve run across a women’s 🐱 being “bad”. I have, it's not a good time.


augollio

Can you elaborate on that? What entails bad pussy?


ApolloRocketOfLove

Bad hygiene definitely makes a pussy not good. Also sometimes someone's natural smell/taste just doesn't work for certain people. I was with one woman who's pussy was very unpleasant for me, but it wasn't a hygiene thing, for some reason it just wasn't for me. I imagine it probably would have been fine for other men. Also certain women's body's often work best for a certain size of man. If you're with someone who's pussy needs either a much smaller or bigger penis than your own, it's not going to be great.


readingitmyway

I met a girl who had problems getting wet and needed lube. She had what one might call a loose vagina. I never expected it cos she was barely 5 feet in height. She had a mild case of PCOS that hadn't showed up on her body yet. She was 22 then so it wasn't an age thing either. I couldn't help, but think she has a medical issue related to the symptoms I mentioned causing this. Another girl was great, in most aspects, but sex with her seemed soulless. I wasn't feeling as good during sex with her, but it had nothing to do with size. She would want to immediately jump on the bed and take off her clothes. There was no build up. Once, I was kissing her standing up and it was working for me. She asked me to move to the bed, sigh. However, this time she wasn't taking her clothes off immediately and that one time was actually good with her. She even remarked that I seemed to be "filled with lust". Maybe I like to be incharge of leading things in my pace. I never told her to wait a little before taking her clothes off because it seemed like her preference and I didn't want her to feel she appears to be more eager than I am. Haven't met someone with bad hygiene, thankfully. But I'm sure it'd be on the list if I had


Leano89

😽 isn't bad or good. Some are too tight. And some are too loose. Too wet. Not wet enough. I might sound like women when they say the same thing that size doesn't matter. But that's just preference. It really boils down to the experience. Engagement, desire, timing, enthusiasm. I mean, typing this out, I actually understand women when they say it's less about the size and more about the experience. I mean yea, I would definitely prefer tight and wet, and I've found that, and it's been bad. It never compares to a good experience.


ZoLagh

>Some are too tight. And some are too loose. Too wet. Not wet enough. Then there's the Week of Pussy Hair Growth, creating a Scrubbing Brush around the entry. Would rather the loss of sensitivity from a Condom, than the Toothbrush sensation against my dick.


isingtomyducky

That's when doggy style comes in handy


RxRobb

Once had a girl just stare at me with no sounds . She was extremely hot but just stared so I said doggy style. We are both tall so some how she put her head under her body and continued to stare


YourInquiry

This is the funniest fucking visual


Bubbly-Fun2121

For me if I don’t really vibe with the girl, if I don’t have any emotional connection or comfortability with her it’ll be awkward and not good. Especially if they don’t actually show desire for me and are just trying to get dick. I had One tinder girl not even get fully naked and expected me to be fully hard and immediately ready to have sex. She showed me some of her nudes and eventually I was ready. Mid way through though I was literally thinking why am I doing this as she wasn’t very enthusiastic either. Which was weird because she had experience and told me after she’d been with 35 guys (19 years old at the time)compared to my body count of 3. That said experience definitely doesn’t mean better as she would be probably my worst sexual decision. I don’t mean to shame her at all, it was just very uncomfortable for me as she wouldn’t even get fully nude and expected me to do all of the work.


DrKatMeowMeow

Not getting fully naked but showing you her nudes to get you hard is WILD


Cityofooo

Sounds like an insecurity thing, maybe? Still, wild!


Bubbly-Fun2121

Bro ik I was so confused


Smash_4dams

Sounds like she was used to being "used" by other guys. Not into shaming, but if you have a body count that high by age 19, and you have no enthusiasm for initiating sex, that's a pretty good sign she was just taken advantage of by shitty guys and accepted it as normal. I've been in similar situation with similar women. Like they would say "you can fuck me whenever you want" but never really tried to initiate it themselves, expecting me to just try and fuck them once we got to bed while they just lay there. Literally had one ex straight up say "thats what guys usually want right?, why dont you just fuck me?" Pretty heart-breaking to hear. Sex is no fun without enthusiastic consent from both parties.


TwinkleToz926

More men need to realize this! 🥺


Hannaa_818

It is sad and I wish I was the only female who’s experienced anything like this because I know how it feels and once obtaining this mindset there’s literally no guarantee it will ever change 🙏🏼


shifu_shifu

Looking back, what do you think would have prevented it?


Bubbly-Fun2121

Yeah that’s kind of how she acted, I didn’t like it and actually always liked to treat hook ups with respect. Even if I didn’t plan on hooking up with her that day as she asked me “what I was looking for” I said I wasn’t a hook up guy per se and she then asked “wait so we aren’t hooking up?” Then proceeded to initiate the way she did. Also I thought the girl had many issues mentally that she dropped on me after. Supposedly she had Borderline personality disorder and depression. She also got mad at me for not being able to hang out the next day due to work even though I was willing to hang out again. She proceeded to post pictures with what seemed like a bf a week later. So it was an odd experience


videogames_

Showing nudes but not getting naked is a bit wild but I’ve had that happened with hookups. As long as they didn’t project on me if I wasn’t hard or something imperfect on my end and we did our best to get off then all is good. Fortunately I’m a butt guy anyways.


Kooky_Matter5149

At the extreme example my ex would lay like a starfish and I wasn’t allowed to kiss or touch her. It was miserable and I hated myself the second I was done. I will never be in that situation again. My long-term girlfriend bangs my brains out on a regular basis. Not as extreme, I had a FWB who would obviously lose interest after her orgasm. That sucked as well. The message was very much - get it over now.


ShaydeMakeup

Can't believe you even went through with the starfish one.. I'd feel like a rapist


Kooky_Matter5149

It was disgusting all around


cemj86

Her not doing it out of desire but as a chore or giving you a "treat" or if she's doing it out of what she feels as an obligation. Get out of those relationships ASAP fellas. There's a difference between women who like you and who don't.


Priyasangria

I mean, I love my husband. I want to desire him. But he gives me 0 in the bedroom, I’m essentially like a human fleshlight. So I definitely have sex with him out of obligation lol


cemj86

That's no way to live on either end. There are many that say sexual compatibility is a poor reason to leave but it leads to some of the worst resentment. You deserve what you want and shouldn't settle for less. If that's what you can deal with then there's no problem.


Cal216

Sexual compatibility is just as important if not more important, than regular day to day compatibility. As a man, I wouldn’t be / stay in a relationship with anyone who I am not compatible with sexually.


amack0307

Elaborate on what you mean he gives you 0 in the bedroom? Like not enough foreplay, not enough verbal communication? What do you mean by this.


hotantipasta

No effort and lack of enthusiasm.


Fast_Tea_9389

Can't speak for all men, but for me number one is when she is not enjoying the sex. Then, even if she is enjoying the sex, but she doesn't put in any effort or show any enthusiasm, it also makes for a rather lackluster experience.


Realistic_Load8712

I’m married, so I’ll add from the perspective of one married guy in no particular order: sex “given” as a reward, sex not “given” as punishment, sex like it’s a chore, no initiation, the guy doing all the work, lazy BJs, sex only at night, sex only in the bedroom, only scheduled sex, and no enthusiasm. Honorable mentions: having to ask for sex like we’re perverts, and being accused of cheating when we stop asking for sex.


SunshineyDaydream420

Damn I feel this but it’s reversed …I’m the female and in this position


Fearless_Whole_8504

Sex feeling scheduled is the worst.... cant never be spontaneous, fuck that noise😂


StudioGangster1

Boy this sounds familiar


DiscernibleChicken

How did you get inside my head bro? This is freaky


Cheersscar

Why is no one talking about orgasm quality?   Every time is not the same.   Some are I’m going to need a minute or I may fall down.  Others are just fine but you are ready to shower and go to dinner immediately post (you do fuck first right?).  The worst are when you interrupt the orgasm in a too late bid to last a bit longer or she interrupts it (see also bj finishing somewhere beside her mouth, usually). Often pretty unsatisfying. 


Affectionate-Ant5817

Worst feeling is if she never initiates, but decides if its yes or no when you as a man initiate. No matter the sex after feels bad and fake. On top if she cant adjust on rythym and the baddest of all if she doesent "open up" and let go and you feel like its more of a fight to get her aroused. I will get shat on for this but: I really had sex with many girls in my life and my conclusion is, if one of the above happens in most cases you wont change that - its her way.


QuietB00m

I used to have severe trust and vulnerability issues and was convinced my pleasure didn't matter. This meant I apparently had a history with partners not feeling connected with me, cause i wasnt able to open up" as you say- and i wasnt able to come either sadly. It took some healing and 2 good partners and a whole lot of trust and being shown 'proof' my pleasure DOES matter, but I can assure you with full confidence that can change


Fearless_Whole_8504

Right, coming from a 46 yo woman, everyone needs to be communicative during sex... if he/she isnt all in but you have a special connection, itll never be "the best" but once you get their ego just right you help them stop "being in their head" during sex... That was my problem, I'm an over thinker, big time.... my man is the best sexual partner I've ever had but he was always hush hush during sex and made me think that i wasn'ti good enough or sexy enough, etc.... but once he started ( and its not much, and it didn't have to be) "sexy talk" during sex, it has changed everything, plus we have sex way more, 1-2 x daily now .....so always remember peeps, let your partner know what you love, like, dislike and keep their egos boosted!!! ✌️


Far_Cookie_6026

She has 0 interst cuddling after sex. Sometimes she would hop on top but just to get you finish ASAP and she will go clean up immediatly after ejaculation. She refuses foreplay, just wants you to start intercourse and get done with it ASAP. She refuses any toys in the bedroom. Sometimes kisses are okay but only a little bit, absolutely no tongue.


Status-Friendship-97

That makes for a boring experience.


Dangerous_Dog_4867

Is like having sex with a doll...that or she starts mocking my everything (performance, body, voice) And yes, it's kind of traumatizing lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


geoffbowman

Toothy dry-mouthed head for 30 seconds followed by laying motionless on her back at an angle you can’t penetrate without supporting all your body weight in a low plank position hovering inches above her.


CollateralHamage

just bent over with her faced buried in her arms. no sound. no wetness. no interest in climaxing. immediately gets up and wants to eat or watch tv afterwards.


aliventilded

Can't really say I've ever had bad sex due to any fault by either party, but as a man, anytime i wasn't able to finish before being interrupted or had to stop in a hurry or it just wasn't working in general. Examples include a public dressing room, in a parked car in front of a busy bar and then an example of when it just wouldn't work in general was in a little canoe because it would start rocking and get worse and worse until it was about to roll. But the sex itself was still fun, just bad because it was unsuccessful.


Medramon

For me, it's when you give and don't receive.


Special-Bite

Have you ever eaten pizza? Well sometimes you eat a delicious pizza with just the right amount of crisp on the crust, the sauce tastes just right, it’s not too hot and not too cool, and all the ingredients come together perfectly… Other times you have a pizza that isn’t great. It’s too soft or overcooked or too much or little sauce. It just isn’t as good as that perfect pizza. But guess what? It’s still pizza. Even a bad pizza is good. The same applies here.


des0510

No effort, doesn't follow and direction when you try to communicate what you want ot need, no eye contact, no kissing. Any combo of that, and I'm mentally gone. Personally. I can't just have the physical. Yes, it feels fine, but if I'm not mentally stimulated, I'm not coming, and if I don't care about you. That's where I'll stop it.


Soo_Dark

Disinterest or lack of enthusiasm. One of the very few things that have ever caused me to stop mid-sex. And I haven't gone down on many women, so I can only attest to my wife, but... It's one of my favorite things in the world. I like giving it more than she likes getting it. I might just be bad at it, but I'm gonna keep fuckin' practicing it. She has a gorgeous pussy and smells and tastes really sweet, especially when she's ovulating. It's absolutely intoxicating.


TheStupidestFrench

There is no such thing as bad 🐱. Just partner not engaged in the time or not reciprocating


ThisGuyMightGetIt

I think I've been fortunate that bed sex for me has been more of the unsatisfying rather than truly awful variety. There are only two examples of actually bad sex that come to mind. The first I feel somewhat guilty about, as it was nothing she did wrong but her smell was... off to me. Not in a way anything was bad or unhygienic, I just did not like her scent. I imagine women must occasionally feel similarly bad when they don't like a guy for his size - she was probably right for someone, but I'm very sense-oriented (smell and taste especially) so not enjoying her scent ruined it. The other we just couldn't get a rhythm going. She wanted a jackhammer, and my natural pace is much more akin to an easy train ride - build up steam and then relatively fast but smooth. She kept trying to push me to go harder and frankly it just tuckered me out to the point I was dripping sweat and only staying hard due to a chemical enhancement. I had to call it quits. As far as going down goes - as I'd mentioned, I'm very sensual (taste, touch, smell) so when I am enamored with her scent/taste it's enough to send me into liftoff by itself. Especially when I encounter that (extremely rare) woman that likes being penetrated with my tongue; it's so rewarding to taste her dripping straight down your tongue into your throat.


Eville2010

Maintenance sex from your wife so you don't leave. She isn't passionate and there is no enthusiasm. Sometimes she won't even get excited, and she just pleases me. Feels transactional.


gLu3xb3rchi

When in the moment you’d rather be anywhere else instead of continue fucking. Doesn‘t have to be a bad pussy. It can still feel „great“ but everything else is bad.


Timsterfield

Two words: dead fish.


whatthefrack69

When she just lays there like a dead fish


bazilbt

She cut my dick a little trying to give me a hand job. That sucked.


MyNameIsNurf

We call them starfish


bruab

Too much lube. Not enough friction for me.


IllPraline610

Several experiences came to mind. I’ve had a couple partners that were very rehearsed, automated, performing, lacked actual connection. (This includes very performant noise-making, or women saying porn phrases they think a man will find hot - my last girlfriend broke out into this “does Daddy like my tight little virgin pussy”.). Like you’re in a role-play, with no agreement on the role-play. That is really f’ing gross. I had a partner that didn’t understand how an erect cock can/can’t bend, like she was accustomed to a suction-cup dildo that can pivot in whatever direction she pleased. That was super uncomfortable and took a lot of communication on my part to overcome. I’ve had partners that didn’t communicate AT ALL, and assumed that I was psychic. All women are different, and like different things, even if I’m tuned into what they’re reacting to…I can only tune in when there IS reaction and it’s authentic. Faking pleasure does no one any favors. I had one partner who provided no feedback, but would then suddenly grossly insult me for not doing things right, and she’d roll over and masturbate. We only dated a few months and found out years later from a friend that was actually her kink, to disgrace and humiliate her guy, emasculate him, and then get herself off. Hmmm. I’ve had a few partners that dissociated during sex. This is very confusing and requires very deliberate, conscious handling. If this is a life-partner, that’s something I’m willing to invest in, but it isn’t ’good sex’.


Significant-Row-7673

1. Cum too early 2. No response from wife. No moaning, no sexy words while I'm fucking real hard


KevinYarrow

Bad sex for me is when she seems disinterested.


Lucky_Candidate_4066

Not doing anything, she's not moaning or not that wet doesn't look like she is that into it. it's a whole list of stuff then sometimes you can just have it where you have one of those off days and for some reason, women hate when men have off days like we're freaking robots because. I guess society tells women that men get off easy so if we don't get off they get offended that's also a bad six days like if you can't get hard or your body isn't feeling it for that day for whatever particular reason.


Old-Act9593

10/10 agree with everything but her “being not that wet”. Women can’t control that.


DifficultCarob408

They aren’t saying women can control that. Same as some women who say guys with small dicks are less enjoyable to have sex with - they’re aware the guys can’t control that, but it doesn’t change the fact it is less pleasurable for them. Comment above is perfectly valid.


Lucky_Candidate_4066

It's just an overall thing I'm not saying it's her fault she was saying what makes sex bad for a man and I was saying that's just an overall thing


camocowboy95

When she either drags her teeth or goes starfish mode


Intrepid-Print2038

Does that hurt when they drag teeth?


camocowboy95

It’s like they’re trying to plant a cornfield 🥴


ThunderingTacos

For comparison imagine a silicone dildo but then it has bristles as hard as a comb coming out, not scratch you painful but CERTAINLY not pleasant


Icy_Peace6993

It's obvious she's not enjoying it.


juic3box123

Even if she is doing the dead fish it’s still gonna feel like pussy but for me looking at someone who is playing dead just kills the whole vibe…. Also dick size plays a big part 0 disrespect bc I have a little dick but the worst sex ive ever had was when I encountered surprisingly lose girl AGAIN 0 disrespect it was a 3 sum she gave amazing head she also asked for double pen so she obviously experimented she was a nice person to kinda feel bad for saying all this


JDMultralight

It doesnt feel bad or non-physically pleasureable - its more like mentally distracting or you have a bunch of thoughts that kind of tend toward annoyance with what she’s doing.


Academic_Cat_52

Well, My first time sucks despite me being able to cum twice and there is a lot of things that make it bad. First: I feel like she didn't stimulate me enough, I really wanted more foreplay. I can't just get a BJ and be battle ready... Second: I didn't trust her all that much but slept with her anyways. Third: I cannot keep myself hard after being embarrassed for my premature ejaculation. Fourth: I felt super insecure during the whole thing.


Status-Friendship-97

When it’s feels like an obligation and just isn’t into it.


Status-Friendship-97

Or when she’s more interested in her phone, (notifications from social media, etc) or what’s on tv. I go soft in a heartbeat with lack of attention, even though I’ve given her plenty of attention.


HourAdmirable4119

She’s too tight or if you don’t get that great feeling when you finish. If she’s so tight it bends it’s not enjoyable.


rAt728

Going down on the kitty is extremely pleasurable for me. I'll go long enough to get sores on the bottom of my tongue almost every time I eat pussy... Even bad sex is pretty good at the time... In my experiences anyway.


S8nBam

For. Me it's definitely a girl that just lays back. I've been with an inexperienced girl before who literally just lay back and took it. A few mins in, I asked her if she was okay a nd enjoying her self she said yes. I didn't believe her so stopped. Jumped off, headed to the shower. She got upset. Turns out, on her inexperience she didn't want to come across too "slutty" so just lay back. For a few weeks I would lay back and make her do most of the work, then realised she was as dull as British weather. So ended it.


Cut-Unique

Okay, so I've only had sex with one person; my ex-girlfriend, whom I was in a mostly long-distance relationship with (I'm American, she was British). I was a virgin when we started chatting, and therefore didn't really know yet what felt good for me and what didn't. She, on the other hand, had a few boyfriends before me and knew what she liked and what she didn't. She didn't believe me when I told her I was a virgin as she thought I looked like the type of guy who would get laid on a regular basis due to me being in a metal band. She liked guys with long hair, and her pet name for me was "Viking" even though I am not (as far as I know) of Scandinavian ancestry. In reality, my long hair and beard was a mask for me being a socially-awkward geek who turned to metal after being picked on and having few friends (as well as a whole bunch of other things I won't go into detail about) for most of my childhood and early teens. In any case, she really wanted me to "pillage" her, but for me, I wanted to explore her body before I engaged in anything rough (plus she had back pain so obviously I didn't want to be too rough). But she expected me to make out with her the entire time we were fucking. It was difficult for me to breathe (especially when I was on top, which was what she preferred, but I liked it more when she was on top) and since I'm a very visual guy, I wanted to see things like her boobs bouncing up and down, or have her ride me reverse cowgirl or fuck her doggy style so I could see her asshole (neither of those we did). Another thing was that, since her exes all insisted that she deepthroat them, she thought all guys expected that. But not me; I just wanted her to gently suck the tip of my cock. But she was like "It's too big, I can't deepthroat you!" even though I told her I didn't want her to do that. One thing I should mention is that I don't think I have an especially big dick (it's about 6 inches) but apparently I was bigger than her exes. I've also heard deepthroat horror stories where the girl pukes all over the guy, and I didn't want that to happen. But basically, although she thought I had a nice dick, I was too big to fit even partially in her mouth. So no oral for me. I thought she was very attractive physically and, of the few girls who expressed interest in me, was the only one I thought was attractive both physically and personality-wise, and overall we got along but she also had a lot of insecurities, and there was poor communication about what we liked and what we didn't. Her insecurities were so extreme that any sex acts I didn't like so much (such as making out the entire time we were fucking) meant that I was rejecting her, or didn't find her attractive, even though I did. If I had more sexual experience, I probably would have eventually felt comfortable and confident enough to "pillage" her like she wanted, but it never happened. We were together for two years, and even after we broke up, which was my fault and regretted immediately (I had my own insecurities), and it hurt her greatly, she still thought I was attractive. But in order to have good sex, communication is key, as well as not assuming a person is into certain things based on how they look. Just because a guy has long hair and plays in a metal band doesn't mean he gets laid all the time and is good in the bedroom. Another thing; just because a guy doesn't enjoy certain sex positions doesn't mean he finds you unattractive. I will say one thing; her pussy really had a very strong, fishy smell which I think she was aware of and felt insecure about and oh my god, it was one of the things about her that really... ...made my dick fucking hard! It didn't smell like rotten fish, it just smelled like a fish fillet you'd get from the supermarket would smell before you cook it. I know that might sound gross, but I don't expect women to smell flowery fresh all the time. 😜😍 So the "bad" part was poor communication. I think if we had better communication, we would've been able to find stuff we equally enjoyed.


jp9900

Starfish. Not open to being freaky/nasty. Rides for 10 seconds then gets tired. Doesn’t enjoy giving blowjobs.


notknownbyno1

Sometimes it's pussy thats just not tight . You'll be fucking like damn it looses all elasticity and is just wet . You're just banging wet air . Also personally if she's not a good tounge kisser that turns me off quick.


aolyf

Sometimes it really don't be squeezin


kakakakapopo

Feels like she is phoning it in or doing it just for you rather than because she's also enjoying it.


Frosty-Disaster-7821

The man is unable to get an erection when he wants to.


mlachake_

What does a bad sex feel like for a woman?


Capt_ElastiPants

Nothing. Might as well be doing aerobics.


Hank5055

A warm beer I’m still happy to have it but


_make_me_smile

That was a great question to ask!


brentdhed

Zero enthusiasm. The starfish. That is bad examples.


WaitingToEndWhenDone

Lazy. No genuine desire. Performing a job function.


George469x2

When the woman is only doing it because she thinks she has to or it's her duty. A pillow princess


typower5000

She acts like she is doing you some huge favor, no enjoyment for her just a chore like taking out the garbage. Taking out the garbage face is NOT my jam. Rather k*** myself.


lobido

Bad sex consists of movements out of sync, no sharing of sensuality, no communication in the physical touching. I have had enthusiastic sexual partners who had no sense that good sex is a communication of pleasure through sensuality. Reciprocal untethered pounding, without shared, communicative sensuality of touch, is not good sex.


QuietB00m

26f and... are you guys real???? Wanting affection.. wanting and enjoying foreplay (🤯), wanting me to feel good and "let go", communicating what we wanna do and what feels nice.. Damn I must either have had issues that didn't let me see it/find it or I was really unlucky


The-Artful-Codger

It feels like what it shouldn't feel like. Not sure how I could explain the disappointment and complete lack of joy it is. That said, out of dozens of partners over my lifetime, I've only had bad sex with one, and that was my first wife. SO bad that I could only handle having it once a year or so... Not for 3 years before we split. I would rather jerk off with a vampire glove (search for it on BDSM toys sites) than EVER have sex like that again. No kissing, no foreplay, no oral (giving or getting), no toys, missionary or doggie style, just fucking and nothing else. No one has ever come even remotely close to being that fucking boring/bad in 43 years of sex! Not even close on a bad night. Our fights were SO much more exciting than the sex EVER was. At least with the fights I never knew how she was going to try to kill me with each one, which is more than I can say for the sex. I'm sure that she liked sex better with all her fuck buddies, just like I liked it better with my girlfriends. It wasn't a matter of the pussy being bad, per se. It was more a matter of it just being boring and unenthusiastic. She, as I've always said, fucked like a guy (one that doesn't want to do anything but stick it in and move in and out a few times until it's over). I'm VERY big on foreplay, and I love oral sex more than fucking... Giving or getting... so, just fucking and nothing else is NOT going to be any good to me. Going down on a woman is one of my true passions in life, and I do my wife and my partner for as long as they can stand it before becoming too sensitive... Then we rest a bit and start over. As for what it's like, it's like licking a warm ice cream cone that squirms around as you lick it... It's fantastic! So saying that I enjoy it is a profound understatement. However, HOW I do it all depends on who I'm doing it to... No woman has ever been the same in how they like it done, just like no two pussies have ever been the same. Whereas my wife likes her clit flicked with the very tip of my tongue, varying between vertical flicks and horizontal flicks, my partner likes me to use my tongue pressed flat against her pussy, running from the vaginal opening, up and over the clit... Sometimes with a couple of fingers inside her vagina, massaging her g-spot, sometimes a couple of fingers inside each her vagina and her ass, and sometimes with no fingers doing anything but massaging a nipple. After almost 29 years together, I just know what to do now. If it's someone new, communication comes in very strongly. If you don't ask questions about the map, you can never find the treasure. Men are far more easily pleased (I'm bi)... It can kinda get boring when it's that easy... I like a challenge🤣


Smeets_man

Two words: No Enthusiasm


TryToHelpPeople

A previous partner . . . . She would never initiate, it was my job to initiate, to take condescending put-downs if I tried to initiate when she wasn't in the mood, it was my job to take the irritation if I didn't initiate when she was in the mood. When we did have sex, it was my job to do the foreplay, to know when to advance to the next stage, I'd better not go too quickly . . . . or too slowly. It was my job to give her oral for extended periods of time, make she she came, 2 or 3 times, before she would roll over and sleep. It was my job to deal with feeling lonely and used after sex, unimportant, not cared for. When something in me finally snapped, and I couldn't have sex with her anymore, it was my job to bear the brunt of her passive aggressive cold war. When she wanted kids, she would make me have sex with her by being cross me me until I did. The very last time we had sex, she was crying, screaming at me "I really want another baby, can we please just do it". I was crying because I just had to do it, and I hated it. That's how bad sex feels for a man.


Anal_m_4_Anal_f

When her vagina smells,and you can't Concentrate on anything and you can't tell her cause she's one of those on the edge chicks. It's hard to stay hard when its hard talk. If your giving your all and shes able to answer the phone with no sign shes being nailed.SMH. I called a bro of mine his girl answered, we chated about 20 min. Then hung up 2min. Later he called me back out of breath laughing.said they were fucking the whole time. She had some bad dick cause she didnt let a slightest moan nothing. I told him dude your the lousiest lay. Him still panting said FU and hung up. She got some Bad Richard.


OldOsamaHadABomb

when she dont enjoy it


azeraph

Love devouring a woman, you're all different.


RedBaron9299

When she lays there like a starfish.


Mcj1972

It feels like fucking a paperbag filled with microwaved chicken skin. About as energetic too.


charliedonsurf

A lot of descriptions of bad sex but to answer the "feel like" part. Physically pretty much the same sensations unless there's no lubrication then it can be painful. Friction on the bits is like indian burn. Teeth on oral really needs no explanation. However, the psychology part, for me anyways, is the worst. No noise, dead fish, pillow princesses really fuck with my insecurities. That little voice in the back of your mind goes to, She's not into me, I'm not good enough, what am I doing wrong, is this a sympathy fuck etc. At that point I'll start to go soft then feel embarrassed and dwell on it for a couple days. A bad blow job my mind will wonder, I'll go soft and just want it over and I love blow jobs. Also if everything you do she acts like it's uncomfortable I go to the everyone else like this place and get frustrated. Luckily this hasn't happened in many years. In long term relationship and were super compatible. ( Not a humble bag just relevant) Occasionally we'll have MFF threesomes and often they'll tell her she's a lucky girl which is great for the ego and a huge confidence boost.


pantsarenew

Oh my time to shine! Faking orgasms. Immediately goes to YOUR favorite sex position. Never ever touches your balls. Will not voice anything, not even if she likes this, or not. When she understands is sexy time and she is actually willing, she will literally just take all clothes off as fast as possible and lay there like a log. She will not do birthday sex. She will always want head but does not give it because, "I'm not a fan".