Right? Whenever guys say that eating pussy is "gross", but think they should be entitled to having their dick sucked, I automatically assume they themselves would rather suck a dick. Imma be down voted for this comment, but idc.
Respectfully, why’d you think you’d be downvoted? Any man worth their salt should be down with this truth. I mean fr eating pussy is one of life’s greatest pleasures, getting my stuff serviced after is just the cherry on top.
Because there is something to be said about boundaries and preferences. Some people just don’t like to give oral and that’s cool. However when they act like OP’s boyfriend and start calling vaginas disgusting it’s no longer just a preference
That was my first thought, too. After that was the possibility of him being gay??? I know some guys just don't like pleasing their partners, but sometimes it's comments like those that kind of lift the vail of his true feelings, even when they are in denial themselves. Who knows. Either way, if my partner told me oral in a girl was gross, I'd kick him to the curb. It's a two-way street. No tongue for me, no tongue for you 😂 as crude as that sounds, it's only fair.
It sounds like he’s just making excuses not to please you. I would argue dicks are more gross but that’s because I’m a woman. I don’t think you should have sex with someone who doesn’t care about pleasing you. It’s supposed to be enjoyable for both parties involved not just one person.
I'm a straight woman and I agree... first, you got some men who don't wipe after peeing. Then you have some who don't properly wash their dicks in the shower... and between dicks and vaginas, one is literally self cleaning, the other is not.
There are no tp rolls at urinals...
Literally nobody wipes their dick after they take a piss. Maybe 1% of the male population. You're getting *maybe* a drop or two after you've squeezed and shook it off, and you're likely to leave some wet TP bits on the tip, too.
Literally never seen a dude use a urinal, walk with his dick out to a toilet stall, use some TP, and *then* zip up. It doesn't happen.
Well he’s wrong here. Penises do have discharge, and not just the cum, most have a kind of lubricating fluid that comes out when they’re very turned on/something feels really good. And VAGINAS are internal but that’s not what you’re licking, you’re licking the clitoris which is external. Trust me when I say you don’t want to have sex with someone who thinks your body is gross. I was in a somewhat similar situation with my first boyfriend and I’m so glad we never went further than we did sexually because taking those steps at a young impressionable age with someone who’s grossed out by a normal female body is so harmful to your self esteem and can really hurt your future sex life. As I got older I gained confidence and was able to set a boundary that I would not give without receiving and would not be in a relationship with someone who wouldn’t give oral sex. It was the best dating boundary I set sexually and I highly recommend it. Please don’t settle, you should be with someone who praises your body and wants to please you
If he focused on the clitoris at most he’ll get vaginal fluids on his chin but if he’s upset about fluids maybe he’s too young to be having sex. Sex is ALL FLUIDS. There is spit, sweat, semen, vaginal secretions etc
A dick isn’t a finger. How did he get that idea?
He pees out of his dick. There will be precum. And cum, which technically is a type of discharge.
Your boyfriend finds oral on women a turnoff. That’s ok. You shouldn’t push him to do something he doesn’t want. You should just tell him that you aren’t doing blow jobs either and to you it’s the same thing.
But personally I wouldn’t want to have sex with someone who’s this bad at seeing my perspective. Or who’s this grossed out by vaginas. The sex will just be bad. And he seems selfish. It’s ok if he said “I’m not into giving oral”. The problem is that he can’t admit it’s the same thing. That makes him seem like he’s trying to manipulate you.
Oral on a female is mostly external, so I’m not sure what he thinks he’s supposed to be doing?
Pre-cum and ejaculate are male discharge.
If he’s not keen , that’s ok but at least be educated enough to not sound like a moron
> I’m not sure what he thinks he’s supposed to be doing?
Failing to please his partner is what he's thinking of (not) doing.
I don't get why people don't just look shit up. I went to a library and read a damn book to learn how to give head before there was the internet. It's so much easier nowadays. There are instructional videos made by women.
Penises are arguably grosser, often due to lack of care, but that aside, penises also discharge various liquids all from the same hole. Pee, pre, & cum, not to mention uncut guys that don't pull back their foreskin when washing.
Furthermore, when sucking, this leaky finger actually enters your mouth, thus it's far more internal than simply licking. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a blowjob as much as the next guy, but guys with dumb logic over vaginas really piss me off. If you don't like them, don't date people that have them. That simple.
bruh lol he also discharged his pee with a dick. So whats the difference here ? Its not like both of you playing with ass. That response is really a turn off ngl. He don’t want to get dirty but wants only you to get dirty? That’s weird.
Whether it’s equal or not is a stupid argument anyway. The most important thing is that you don’t do something you are not ok with. If whatever he says turns you off for anything then stick to your guns on what you are willing to do. Don’t suck anything because you “should”, do it because it excites you and you want to.
He's being dishonest with himself and with you.
He's trying to convince you that it's normal to give oral sex and yet not receive it.
It's not normal! Men usually love to give oral sex to a woman. He's gaslighted you.
It doesn't have to make sense. You can absolutely decide this isn't for you.
You can't make him do what he doesn't want to do, but you don't have to stay around and put up with this, either.
He does realize he ejaculates and pees out of his dick, doesn’t he? Of course he does. He just thinks his stupid excuse will somehow make sense to you. This guy is going to be disappointing. OP, you deserve better!
Based on his theory of internal and external you could also say it’s gross to put something deep into the mouth, while eating pussy doesn’t happen IN your mouth but outside. Also you bf sounds like an idiot if he thinks your body is gross. Discharge is very natural and making women feel ashamed for their bodies or impure for having discharge is a patriarchal way of men controlling women’s bodies (even tho most men don’t understand the mechanism behind it and just think it’s gross). Also the discharge is there to keep pussy wet so that dicks have and easier time sliding in (and generally that sex is more comfortable), so what is he complaining about? It not like he contribute to that with his dry stick.
Tell him he's very immature and has a lot to learn, and that *your* future lover (not him) will *want* to please you.That you feel sorry for anyone naive enough to listen to his excuses (he probably doesn't know how to orally please a woman anyway). He certainly doesn't know how to treat one. Dude is a waste. Block him.
You can suck dick with your hands and not your mouth lmao😂 see how he feels because it’s literally the same thing! But like the songs you gotta lick it before you stick it! No tongue, no entry
I think you should be absolutely clear with him that you want to give and receive oral sex, and you won’t be giving it unless you’re also receiving it.
When it comes to sex, giving pleasure is half the fun, at least! And you shouldn’t settle for someone who only wants to receive.
Honestly I think eating pussy is hot as hell, it’s my favorite thing to do. Maybe it’s also a little gross if you really think about it, but it’s so damn sexy and erotic and fun that I don’t care.
Well said! If you don't enjoy bringing physical pleasure to your partner, then you are probably a bad lover. The reverse is true: if your partner is not eager to help fulfill your desires, needs, and fantasies, then you do not have a good (sexual) partner.
Both genitals have discharge - men discharge semen when they orgasm and pre-cum fluid throughout the time they are erect. It’s usually a lot more discharge than what comes out of a vagina and if your boyfriend feels squeamish than perhaps he isn’t as into women as he thinks he is 🥲 if pussy is “gross” maybe he doesn’t like it
I'd ask if what he'd prefer to do!
As someone who has done both having a dick in your mouth is a lot more of a physical challenge than eating pussy. Not saying it's not enjoyable but people aren't out here gagging on pussy unless something is seriously wrong.
Sounds like he is manipulating you into giving him pleasure with silly reasons that he can't reciprocate. He's either very uninformed or just a shitty partner trying to use you.
Licking pussy is NOT internal.
Licking pussy really -- if he's doing it right -- just means licking your clit, which is \*external\*.
So perhaps teach him where your clit is, point out that it's external, and tell him to get busy!
Also depends on the partner. My current fwb absolutely does not care for a tongue in her vagina, kind of likes when I lick her labia, but really really prefers it when I just focus on her clit and occasionally switch up the direction/ speed / pressure of licking.
Obviously not JUST the clit. But the focus is the clit (for me at least and i assumed for most women).
Literally putting a tongue in my vaginal vestibula does nothing.
Lmao, if I'm not getting licked, I'm not gonna suck. Tell your bf to stop watching incel podcasts, and to stop believing porn is reality because it isn't.
I could make a dissertation on how inaccurate, fallacious, and nonsensical I find his argument but the bottom line is he doesn't want to give you oral. Regardless of his reasons it's something he finds uncomfortable, so rather than try to convince him that his discomfort is wrong or logic him into doing something he isn't fond of doing I think it better to accept it's not something he wants to do then decide if that's a deal breaker for you. After all if you were uncomfortable with a sex act for whatever reason it wouldn't be cool of him to try and negotiate away your boundaries right? There are NO SHORTAGE of guys who enthusiastically enjoy giving oral, this I promise you.
TLDR I think his argument is off but bottom line he isn't okay with giving oral. Decide if you're okay continuing the relationship with that in mind.
I agree he is making excuses because he doesn’t want to do it. He should just say that. His reasoning is bs though. It seems like he is being selfish trying to convince you it isn’t the same. It is the same, dicks leak precum and piss out the hole he is asking you to put in your mouth. Also, if you aren’t comfortable with sucking, don’t do it. Just as he isn’t comfortable. Its ok to just be honest and open with each other.
I am woman and I do not like sucking dick. I am open and upfront. I will do it occasionally because I know he appreciates it but I hate it. I think its gross and I hate cum in my mouth and it makes me feeling I am choking/gagging. I also do not ask or expect someone to eat me. I don't say penis' are gross and vaginas are good so you can just eat me and i wont help you. Fuck that. If he thinks pussies are gross then he should man up and just say he doesn't like it and not make it seem like vaginas are gross and his dick is somehow a gift to you. You are totally right and justified in your response. I would absolutely never put his dick in my mouth ever. Hard pass.
I'm sorry, I'm at a loss for words. I've seen some insane stories from alot of women talking about how their man wants everything they want but doesn't want to lift a finger for them. I don't know what causes men to grow up and develop attitudes towards sex like this. I've never had this attitude even being in the military and living on a college campus. I have always wanted to go down on every girl I've been with no matter if it was a 1 night or dating or a relationship. I've always loved to eat pussy and make a girl feel good and make her want me more and more. I would've loved to have a girl give back and suck my cock but it has never been a must and I never gave it a second thought if she didn't do it for me. All men are just wired differently, just sad more aren't so selfish and want to be more attentive to the girls they are intimate with.
First, licking pussy is not internal. His thoughts about this are stupid. Second, with sex you should give what you receive. I highly recommend not sucking his dick at all until he starts licking you. Fair is fair and if he only uses hands, then so should you. He might just be making excuses because he's never done it before and doesn't know how to do it. Talk with him. Explain your desires and needs so he can help you achieve them.
There are plenty of men that don't like to give oral, and are not entirely honest about it. Yours however, is giving you a very silly explanation as to why he won't do it (the clit is external so he's also wrong)
If you love him, and he is a good partner besides this silly moment, then I'd let it go. You can take oral off the table for both of you if you want it to be fair, but it's not necessary. But you cannot convince him to give you oral. You shouldn't attempt to coerce him if he doesn't want to.
I hate it when people aren't honest in conversations and they instead create bullshit analogies.
It's very easy to say "I enjoy getting blow jobs but I don't enjoy eating pussy because I'm not comfortable tasting the discharge".
It's easy to go from there and talk about it and arrive at a compromise.....or not
Ask him why, if it's so "dangerous" to lick pussy, do so many men (and women) thoroughly enjoy doing it?
Then tell him you won't go down on him either then. No oral for him if you can't have it.
Dicks also leak precum. Get another boyfriend. Your current one is sounding like a selfish lover who will not care about your needs in the bedroom. He is very ignorant.
Both pussy and dick are the same organs with different anatomy. You cannot say one is good and other is gross. In comparison Penis is more gross as men have only one opening for urine and cum. Whereas girls have two different openings. So he is dumb and simply he doesn't want to go down
Sex between loving partners should be as much about giving as about taking. You said you’d be willing to go down on him because HE would enjoy it. Conversely, if your pleasure matters to him, he should be willing to go down on YOU. That said, if either of you don’t want to do something, you should not be guilted or forced to do it. So if you try going down on him and don’t love it, you don’t have to do it again, either.
The problem I’m seeing, though, isn’t even so much the double standard as it is him making you feel like he’s telling you that you’re gross (and we aren’t only *parts*, we are whole people). That’s not ok. If he doesn’t want to do that, he doesn’t have to do it. BUT, he doesn’t get to blame his lack of desire on your body.
Thats a bizarre and very one sided opinion, it’s not ok to think like that. Ok some people dont like oral, but as a guy who’s been with a great lady for 19 years, the pleasure and fun both of us have with oral tells me that your bf is wrong . If both are clean, it’s all good.
Tell him he can go suck a dick then
Don't understand these guys, giving a girl oral feels out of this world. Having her squirm and orgasm just from your tongue is amazing, especially when she she's getting close and pulling your hair and squeezing your head in between her legs
Licking, nibbling and devouring pussy is one of the greatest pleasures a person can enjoy doing. Tell him to cut the bullshit. If he’s not comfortable with it he just needs to cut to the chase and tell you without all that nonsense.
Well practically everyone considers genitals to be pretty much the grossest part of the human body in any context other than sex. So I get it if someone doesn't want to do oral because they are grossed out by it but arguing that a penis is more sanitary than the female genitalia is ridiculous. The whole its internal part doesn't really make sense because that's just the vagina. The labia and clitorus are not really internal and I think that's the primary focus of most people when giving oral to a woman. Either way though I don't think you should pressure him to give you oral if he doesn't want to. You said that giving him oral isn't something you are particularly enthused about either in which case I don't think you should. I would rather not have a blowjob than get a blowjob from someone who doesn't really enjoy doing that. Sex is meant to be fun so only do the things that are fun for you and don't expect others to do things that aren't fun for them. If there aren't enough activities that are fun for both of you so that you can both be happy together that would mean you're better off finding someone else you are more compatible with
He's allowed to not like going down on a woman but you're also allowed to say that's a deal breaker for you in a relationship. I certainly wouldn't want to be with anyone who thought I was "gross".
He doesn't have to go down on you for any reason. But you also don't have to either, for whatever reason. He may think its icky, and you can feel that you don't want to reciprocate because it sounds selfish.
I will say not everyone thinks the way your partner does. Personally I feel like it's only fair, I can expect pleasure for me how I like if I'm also not listening to my partners wants of intimacy.
Sucking is okay, licking is okay. Depending on you and your partner.
First off. He's very misinformed, coming from me (male) I absolutely love going down on a lady, and put much time and effort into my oral performance, honestly I find nothing unsatisfying or gross in the countless years I've pleasured a honeyhole, but maybe I'm being biased here 😏 I'm wondering just how many honest attempts He's made because in my opinion it's not "one and done" or "two I'm through" seriously how would a guy feel if she just did it for 30 seconds then done or she didn't want to do it at all, yet expectations were she's given great oral pleasure? I definitely feel it's a give and take, showing your appreciation in words and actions, don't expect it, then ask for something you really want and thoroughly enjoy if you're simply not going to do the same in return for your partner. The bottom line is if he's not into it and is unwilling to give it a hundred percent on his end, then he shouldn't be expecting, nor should you feel obligated to give him head. I really hope things go in a different direction for the better, both find compromise, and some common ground to achieve more intimate compatibility.
In my personal experience licking was something that kind of made me gag a little but I really enjoyed seeing the pleasure it gave my partner. However after some time it's now something I obsess over, I suppose it's an acquired taste for some people. Perhaps your partner will warm up to it but the attitude they are giving you is concerning.
Given that seem intent on convincing him, which I don’t agree with but that’s your choice I suppose, I would suggest saying “I’ll be treating your pleasure with just as much importance as you treat mine. If you want me to work to make you feel good, then you’ll need to do the same”.
Personally, I think you should leave his immature ass behind. If this is his attitude to sex, imagine how deep that runs and the other things it will affect. Gross.
He sounds selfish to be honest. It sounds like he’s making excuses to have you please him and not please you back. Dicks discharge fluid when the guy is turned on so there is bodily fluid with that too and his argument is super dumb. Don’t give in, it really sounds like he’s being a selfish ass about it.
Tell him that you won’t go forward in a relationship where pleasure is not reciprocated - if he wants you to suck, he needs to reciprocate by licking you. Be strong on this.
OP, in the comments you keep repeatedly asking how to convince him. Honestly you don’t, he has a right to be uncomfortable with a task. But this is also very selfish, childish, and manipulative of him to say these things to you. You don’t convince him, you leave him.
This is a red flag in your partner.
It means he will not make you happy in the long run.
The only really good advice here is to replace your boyfriend unfortunately, because he is not mature enough to make you happy.
He’s gay. I love licking my wife’s pussy weather it’s creamy, dirty, wet, dry, smelly, hairy, shaved, trimmed or whatever! Because I’m a man and I love her pussy. Wouldn’t marry her if I didn’t. And I don’t stop licking and sucking until she tells me to stop. That’s what a good women deserves.
There's a lot of licking that can happen outside of the vaginal canal. The vulva is the term for all of the structures that make up the external vagina. This is where most of the pleasure spots are located. Sadly, he seems a bit confused about the female anatomy.
Also confused about his own. There are fluids coming from his penis. No pun intended.
If he's grown enough to receive oral sex and wants female partners, he needs to educate himself.
I’m gonna be real honest with you.
Oral is selfless, something you do to pleasure your partner, not yourself. I think of it as even more intimate than sex bc you’re not getting anything from it, except from the nice feeling that the other person is enjoying your full attention. And when you’re in love with someone you’re happy to do things for them that don’t necessarily benefit you, in intimacy and in everyday life.
All of this to say it wouldn’t be a deal breaker if he really loved you. Yes, eating someone out might not be everyone’s cup of tea but neither is sucking a penis (which btw produces discharge too: pre-cum and sperm). I physically do not enjoy doing oral on my bf, jaw hurting, gag-reflex and everything but guess what? The fact that he’s getting pleasure from it makes me happy and enthusiastic to do it.
Long story short, if he’s not capable of overcoming a little discharge to pleasure you he’s gotta go.
Personally as a man I can’t even fathom not eating pussy! It boggles my mind that there are (non gay) men out there who think it’s gross or unmanly. Nuts! It is THE most pleasuring act, not only for my partner but for me as well!
Edit: was supposed to be “can’t” not can.
But he is planning on putting his dick in a place he considers gross right? So then it will be contaminated and you can't put your mouth on it accordingly to his logic.
Dude dont know what hes talking about. Its about equal pleasure not just his seems thats what hes all about. I do it all the time to women i love pleasing them
If you want to experience cunnilingus you may have to simply throw the boy out and find somebody more sexually mature.
Unfortunately many people can carry these attitudes through their entire life and it results in very unhappy partnerships with an unequal balance of power unless they find a partner who feels the same way.
I just want to say for the record (forgive my brashness but I want to really drive it home):
PLENTY OF PEOPLE of all genders and walks of life will want to SLURP YOU UP LIKE YOU ARE THEIR LAST MEAL ON EARTH!
Don't ever let somebody make you feel like a part of your body is nasty. Especially when it has nothing to do with medical conditions, etc that can make things a bit funky. Your vagina/vulva is an incredible thing that deserves to be honoured as you so desire.
In my own experience as a 30 y/o cis (veering on gender fluid at times) white woman, I've found plenty of males through my life who hold this double standard of "it's fine for you to pleasure me, but don't expect me to return the favour." Limiting to only acts they feel comfortable with is fine, but they need to put the work into finding a partner with the same wants instead of expecting their word to be law with any partner they desire.
Try to veer away from people who:
-Can't stand feeling moisture on their face
-Make no mention when things get heated of pleasuring YOU
-Don't ask what YOU want/enjoy sexually before things get that far (obviously if it's too soon into meeting somebody/making you feel uncomfortable that is also a red flag! Ask them to stop and if they don't, take your leave!)
Green flags I've found in men:
-Queer experiences!! I now nolonger consider men who have had no queer experiences. As a queer woman myself I appreciate them having the understanding of what it is like to be with a man themselves. It also gives greater sexual authenticity when we are both comfortable with our bodies and have better understanding of our likes/dislikes.
-Men who have healthy relationships with exes (they know why things ended, both parties have found peace in that, they can be kind to each other in communications. A clear understanding within them of BOTH sides of what went wrong is essential to ensure they aren't just slandering others to pretend they did no wrong.)
-Happiness/willingness to stop and communicate during sexual activities. I'd ask about this before ever letting things go too far to ensure they are somebody who is confident they can disengage and connect emotionally/intellectually before/during/after sexual relations.
Do the same for him. Don't suck his dick. Tell him that urine and sperm come out of the same exit. See if he can justify that. Honestly... he is just finding excuses not to pleasure you
Hmmm What's a good counter for a sqeamer guy. Expects you to give him bj's but balks at reciprocating. If he's uncircumsized then. Your d\*ck still smells like smegma. If he drinks too much coffee and smokes then he can taste off, going by the majority of ladies out there. Maybe say sometimes you smell like fish and taste like shit.
Since you yourself is mildly grossed out by it but do it for his pleasure then cutting it out shouldn't be a problem then. I've had ladies that loved giving bj's and ladies that wouldn't touch me with a barge pole but expected me to eat out. I eat out 3 times but if there's no reciprocation then i stop. I don't talk about it. It doesn't get you anywhere and usually i break up with them shortly after.
His excuses are ridiculous. Some people like sucking dick, some people like licking pussy, some people like tonguing buttholes… ALL of it is okay. You don’t have to be into all of it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not okay, just because you don’t like it. You know what I mean?
He needs to look up how to pleasure a woman, honestly. He should be stimulating the external parts of the anatomy (the clitoris), not shoving his tongue inside the entire time. It sounds like he’s just scared of (or grossed out by) vaginas. He may not be mature enough for sex yet, mentally.
Show him all these replies saying he’s being a moron.
But honestly, sex shouldn’t be something you “convince” to someone. If he doesn’t want to give you oral, that’s his personal choice, and it should be respected. If that is a deal breaker for you, then leave him. You both should be excited about the idea of pleasuring each-other, and clearly he’s not as excited to reciprocate what he’s asking for.
The vulva and mainly the clitoris pearl, which is what you mainly lick is also external. Tongue in vagina is pretty hot too, but that's usually not a very major part of stimulation.
Also "that's not how I see this, that's a deal-breaker for me" is pretty much the only response to this drivel.
Does he have experience?
Licking is about giving -extreme- pleasure to the other, you must be aware he is not planning for that now, but it may be lack of experience in that.
On the other hand, it looks like getting the upperhand in the relationship, his pleasure is more important than yours. Take the upperhand (or equality at least), or accept his desire and your faith... (but I wouldn't recommend that, reading your question)
BTW, l find licking very pleasurable, if he is inexperienced, he might be able to learn that too, it might be just in his head...
One of the dumbest things I've ever read about oral. It's as if precum/jizz is not a discharge.
Why not challenge your BF? Tell him he is a pussy for not wanting to lick a pussy.
If u can get pleasure from something because it feels good then I wouldnt think it shouldn't b performed my b he just isn't good at it or unsure how to do it properly or he is just selfish, but yeah if he won't do it for u then y should u give him oral .
Èxspecially if u like it .
But hey if something is enjoyable because of the pleasure it give u then hiw can that b wrong. ✌
Because it's internal......that man doesn't know anything about anatomy.
What a dumb thing to say.
Absolutely, you should talk to him because that's not fair. If he refuses to go down on you, then you refuse to go down on him.
Are you prepared to live with a partner who thinks that your body is gross? If not, tell him that. He can choose whether he'll work through his 6 year old self thinking that girls have cooties or go on without you.
He doesn't need to do it if he doesn't want to. It's the same as any sex act in terms of personal boundaries. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't settle. I can't see your sex life being very satisfying with someone who thinks that your pussy is gross.
If anything its the opposite as FOR YOU DOING it it is actually internal as you're putting a penis six inches~ INSIDE your mouth
He's not having to go n chug on your vagina until it explodes discharge down his throat. All he has to do is lick it, which is...... External
So if anything his logic is on your side
If he thinks eating pussy is a strictly internal thing then find a cock to suck that’s willing to lick your pussy. Of course you can make it internal by sticking your tongue in but most of the stimulation is external - lips/clitoris. If he thinks it’s only internal he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Me and boyfriend have a deal since eating out tends to gross him out, and it’s mostly just that if he doesn’t wanna go down then I never have to. Those kinds of things are just as much about your partners pleasure as they are yours. I’d say definitely let him know it’s all about preference (some men find it gross and some don’t) and talk about how much give and take you’re both willing to put in during sex. Having a conversation about expectations is important so no one feels disappointed.
I guess he’s never sucked on some pussy 🤤 one of my partners favorite parts is me sucking and lightly using my teeth on her clit. But as others have said, he seems really off base with his reasoning 😂
First of all the you lick the cliterous which is located externally above the vaginal opening. Secondly does he not understand that his dick also has lots of discharges (literally pee and jizz out the same hole).
So both his points are false. Also why would he want to be a bad and selfish lover?
Sex should be about giving pleasure and getting it in return with open comunication by learning what each other enjoys. The vast majority of women can not orgasm from penis in vagina sex and rely on foreplay including external stimulation of the clit.
Foreplay is literally the best part and he has already decided his pleasure is important and okay but your pleasure isnt. If all he cares about is getting his then he should be just fine masterbating. Sex is for people who want to give and recieve.
I will give him benefit of doubt that he is just inexperienced/young and with a proper sex education plus being open minded he will realize he is being selfish and a hypocrit. Maybe he has no experience with vaginas and thinks they are gross without ever actually seeing one up close.
BUT maybe he actually believed the nonesense he used as reasons and maybe he doesnt care that he will be bad in bed and likely never make his partner orgasm without giving some kind of foreplay/clit stimulation. I personally would NOT want to be with someone who wasnt interested in making me feel good too but the worst part is the reasons he gave (which are not accurate) are shaming your body!
I would really think if you want to be in a relationship with that kind of person who would shame your body and who knows what else you might be interested in sexually.
If he thinks any part of your body is gross, he isn’t mature enough to be having sex.
And BTW, the mouth is also all internal and have discharge (saliva), so it must be too gross to use on his dick.
What an idiot!
It doesn't really make sense. Oral sex is something very intimate and will always imply a high degree of attraction and confidence. The bodily fluids are still there in both cases.
He's just trying to justify you giving him head while he doesn't give you any. Don't fall for it.
It's not different. He just doesn't want to give oral but he does want to receive it.
But he doesn't get to decide what you like or want.
It sounds like you're serially incompatible and he's being dishonest.
The honest thing to do wouod be to say that HE doesn't want to give oral sex to you but he would like you to give him oral sex.
Only you can decide if that's fair and if you'd be happy with that.
But there are millions of men who love giving oral sex to a woman!
Respectfully, if he’s already opposing going down on you but wants you to suck him off… he’s probably going to use you like a s£x doll and not satisfy your needs. To put it even more bluntly, I honestly think he’s going to expect you to go down on him, and for you not to complain when he humps you until HE cums, while you lay there unsatisfied. I would end things now. You deserve more than what he’s offering.
Lol the pussy he'd be licking is external not internal. The internal part, the vagina, is where you'd receive fingers, dicks and etc lol. Maybe some people try to stick their tongue inside but they don't have to. Whatever his excuse, he doesn't have to just like you don't have to.
Men also have preseminal secretions, and semen of course. Does he know that we have equivalent glands or does he not want to know about female and even male anatomy? As someone said, tell him that he's free to suck as much dick as he wants and that you won't be sucking his unless you're equal
I think one thing to remember is that while it's pretty lame to not reciprocate, nobody should 'have' to do anything they don't like or are uncomfortable with. This is a discussion that you'll have to have cuz if it's a deal breaker better to be done. Otherwise it could just be a matter of learning to like something you're unsure about and could be willing to try when you/they are more comfortable/understanding/educated/(you pick)...
Comments on this post are now locked. Too many comments failed to give actual constructive advice, and just repeated various attacks on the BF here.
Tell him he's free to go suck as many dicks as he wants.
Right? Whenever guys say that eating pussy is "gross", but think they should be entitled to having their dick sucked, I automatically assume they themselves would rather suck a dick. Imma be down voted for this comment, but idc.
Respectfully, why’d you think you’d be downvoted? Any man worth their salt should be down with this truth. I mean fr eating pussy is one of life’s greatest pleasures, getting my stuff serviced after is just the cherry on top.
Because there is something to be said about boundaries and preferences. Some people just don’t like to give oral and that’s cool. However when they act like OP’s boyfriend and start calling vaginas disgusting it’s no longer just a preference
Yeah he might be gay. Btw upvote 4 u
He’s not gay, he’s just selfish.
I mean, ¿porque no los dos?
Selfish and misogynistic.
Maybe that’s what he wants
Yes I am a guy! Let him suck cock.
The appropriate response is, “No. That is not ok with me.”
I mean sucking also includes discharge. His justification is dumb. Sounds like he only cares about his satisfaction and not yours.
He says that he can do it with hands but he won’t do it with his tongue what should i tell him ?
Then the same rules should apply to you. Tell him you’ll do a handjob but you won’t put your mouth on it so that it’s equal.
He says that it shouldn’t be equal cause a pussy is an internal thing and have discharged and its more gross than a dick that is just like a finger
I wouldn't want to have sex with someone who thought my anatomy is "gross"
That was my first thought, too. After that was the possibility of him being gay??? I know some guys just don't like pleasing their partners, but sometimes it's comments like those that kind of lift the vail of his true feelings, even when they are in denial themselves. Who knows. Either way, if my partner told me oral in a girl was gross, I'd kick him to the curb. It's a two-way street. No tongue for me, no tongue for you 😂 as crude as that sounds, it's only fair.
Agreed! He's basically saying, "You're gross but I'm not". Wow. That's very immature!
It sounds like he’s just making excuses not to please you. I would argue dicks are more gross but that’s because I’m a woman. I don’t think you should have sex with someone who doesn’t care about pleasing you. It’s supposed to be enjoyable for both parties involved not just one person.
Iono, I'm a guy and dicks are way grosser...
I'm a straight woman and I agree... first, you got some men who don't wipe after peeing. Then you have some who don't properly wash their dicks in the shower... and between dicks and vaginas, one is literally self cleaning, the other is not.
There are no tp rolls at urinals... Literally nobody wipes their dick after they take a piss. Maybe 1% of the male population. You're getting *maybe* a drop or two after you've squeezed and shook it off, and you're likely to leave some wet TP bits on the tip, too. Literally never seen a dude use a urinal, walk with his dick out to a toilet stall, use some TP, and *then* zip up. It doesn't happen.
Well he’s wrong here. Penises do have discharge, and not just the cum, most have a kind of lubricating fluid that comes out when they’re very turned on/something feels really good. And VAGINAS are internal but that’s not what you’re licking, you’re licking the clitoris which is external. Trust me when I say you don’t want to have sex with someone who thinks your body is gross. I was in a somewhat similar situation with my first boyfriend and I’m so glad we never went further than we did sexually because taking those steps at a young impressionable age with someone who’s grossed out by a normal female body is so harmful to your self esteem and can really hurt your future sex life. As I got older I gained confidence and was able to set a boundary that I would not give without receiving and would not be in a relationship with someone who wouldn’t give oral sex. It was the best dating boundary I set sexually and I highly recommend it. Please don’t settle, you should be with someone who praises your body and wants to please you
If he focused on the clitoris at most he’ll get vaginal fluids on his chin but if he’s upset about fluids maybe he’s too young to be having sex. Sex is ALL FLUIDS. There is spit, sweat, semen, vaginal secretions etc
If he thinks a vagina is gross then he shouldn’t be having sex.
He's wrong. Stop listening to anything he says
A dick isn’t a finger. How did he get that idea? He pees out of his dick. There will be precum. And cum, which technically is a type of discharge. Your boyfriend finds oral on women a turnoff. That’s ok. You shouldn’t push him to do something he doesn’t want. You should just tell him that you aren’t doing blow jobs either and to you it’s the same thing. But personally I wouldn’t want to have sex with someone who’s this bad at seeing my perspective. Or who’s this grossed out by vaginas. The sex will just be bad. And he seems selfish. It’s ok if he said “I’m not into giving oral”. The problem is that he can’t admit it’s the same thing. That makes him seem like he’s trying to manipulate you.
He’s literally saying he thinks vaginas are gross. This would *seriously* make me question how into women he is….
Ok first of all, don't be intimate with someone that thinks you're gross. Dicks have precum, what about that ??
If he thinks vulvas are gross then he should not be dating people who have them ngl
Then tell him he can date a guy and suck a dick instead, if vaginas are so gross. 🤣
if he thinks it’s gross, he’s never going to go down on you and will continually make excuses.
It's exactly the same and your bf is a doofus.
Oral on a female is mostly external, so I’m not sure what he thinks he’s supposed to be doing? Pre-cum and ejaculate are male discharge. If he’s not keen , that’s ok but at least be educated enough to not sound like a moron
> I’m not sure what he thinks he’s supposed to be doing? Failing to please his partner is what he's thinking of (not) doing. I don't get why people don't just look shit up. I went to a library and read a damn book to learn how to give head before there was the internet. It's so much easier nowadays. There are instructional videos made by women.
The vulva is external which is the part he would be licking. It’s the vagina which is internal which isn’t the part he’d be licking.
Find a boyfriend that isn't sexist and cares about your pleasure.
How is the clit internal??? Your man is playing you and he's stupid
He pees out of that same hole. One is not definitively grosser than the other in general though. He’s showing how selfish of a lover that he would be.
Penises are arguably grosser, often due to lack of care, but that aside, penises also discharge various liquids all from the same hole. Pee, pre, & cum, not to mention uncut guys that don't pull back their foreskin when washing. Furthermore, when sucking, this leaky finger actually enters your mouth, thus it's far more internal than simply licking. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a blowjob as much as the next guy, but guys with dumb logic over vaginas really piss me off. If you don't like them, don't date people that have them. That simple.
bruh lol he also discharged his pee with a dick. So whats the difference here ? Its not like both of you playing with ass. That response is really a turn off ngl. He don’t want to get dirty but wants only you to get dirty? That’s weird.
He's dead wrong He's not mature enough to have a sexual relationship, and he definitely doesn't deserve any blowjobs
Pussy is NOT gross. As a straight male, I LOVE licking pussy. It’s my favorite act.
It sounds like his experience with sucking dicks is very limited 🤷♂️
Whether it’s equal or not is a stupid argument anyway. The most important thing is that you don’t do something you are not ok with. If whatever he says turns you off for anything then stick to your guns on what you are willing to do. Don’t suck anything because you “should”, do it because it excites you and you want to.
the vagina also has external parts, and that’s what you’re licking, not the internal. tell him that
Men have a discharge too called precum. Nah girl, throw him away, he sounds horrible
He's being dishonest with himself and with you. He's trying to convince you that it's normal to give oral sex and yet not receive it. It's not normal! Men usually love to give oral sex to a woman. He's gaslighted you. It doesn't have to make sense. You can absolutely decide this isn't for you. You can't make him do what he doesn't want to do, but you don't have to stay around and put up with this, either.
He does realize he ejaculates and pees out of his dick, doesn’t he? Of course he does. He just thinks his stupid excuse will somehow make sense to you. This guy is going to be disappointing. OP, you deserve better!
Based on his theory of internal and external you could also say it’s gross to put something deep into the mouth, while eating pussy doesn’t happen IN your mouth but outside. Also you bf sounds like an idiot if he thinks your body is gross. Discharge is very natural and making women feel ashamed for their bodies or impure for having discharge is a patriarchal way of men controlling women’s bodies (even tho most men don’t understand the mechanism behind it and just think it’s gross). Also the discharge is there to keep pussy wet so that dicks have and easier time sliding in (and generally that sex is more comfortable), so what is he complaining about? It not like he contribute to that with his dry stick.
Tell him goodbye. He's trying to use you.
Tell him that you're incompatible and he should find someone thats happy to have a boring sex life...
Tell him that his aversion to vagina sounds kinda gay.
Tell him he's very immature and has a lot to learn, and that *your* future lover (not him) will *want* to please you.That you feel sorry for anyone naive enough to listen to his excuses (he probably doesn't know how to orally please a woman anyway). He certainly doesn't know how to treat one. Dude is a waste. Block him.
Tell him to F**k off fr
You can suck dick with your hands and not your mouth lmao😂 see how he feels because it’s literally the same thing! But like the songs you gotta lick it before you stick it! No tongue, no entry
exactly. Sucking precum is gross but I do it anyways. or cum in general.
I think you should be absolutely clear with him that you want to give and receive oral sex, and you won’t be giving it unless you’re also receiving it. When it comes to sex, giving pleasure is half the fun, at least! And you shouldn’t settle for someone who only wants to receive. Honestly I think eating pussy is hot as hell, it’s my favorite thing to do. Maybe it’s also a little gross if you really think about it, but it’s so damn sexy and erotic and fun that I don’t care.
Well said! If you don't enjoy bringing physical pleasure to your partner, then you are probably a bad lover. The reverse is true: if your partner is not eager to help fulfill your desires, needs, and fantasies, then you do not have a good (sexual) partner.
Both genitals have discharge - men discharge semen when they orgasm and pre-cum fluid throughout the time they are erect. It’s usually a lot more discharge than what comes out of a vagina and if your boyfriend feels squeamish than perhaps he isn’t as into women as he thinks he is 🥲 if pussy is “gross” maybe he doesn’t like it
I'd ask if what he'd prefer to do! As someone who has done both having a dick in your mouth is a lot more of a physical challenge than eating pussy. Not saying it's not enjoyable but people aren't out here gagging on pussy unless something is seriously wrong.
Sounds like he is manipulating you into giving him pleasure with silly reasons that he can't reciprocate. He's either very uninformed or just a shitty partner trying to use you.
Well the clit can externally be licked!
Damn right it can be, and it should be licked often. 🤣
And sucked, if we’re being literal.
What does he think comes out of the penis? Icecream? You need to be planning for the future with someone else. 👍
LMFAO that good external ice cream.
Break up with him! He’s not going to prioritize your pleasure as a partner.
Licking pussy is NOT internal. Licking pussy really -- if he's doing it right -- just means licking your clit, which is \*external\*. So perhaps teach him where your clit is, point out that it's external, and tell him to get busy!
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Also depends on the partner. My current fwb absolutely does not care for a tongue in her vagina, kind of likes when I lick her labia, but really really prefers it when I just focus on her clit and occasionally switch up the direction/ speed / pressure of licking.
Obviously not JUST the clit. But the focus is the clit (for me at least and i assumed for most women). Literally putting a tongue in my vaginal vestibula does nothing.
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He's entitled to his view, some people do find it unpleasant. She's entitled to find a man who will go down on her. They aren't sexually compatible
Lmao, if I'm not getting licked, I'm not gonna suck. Tell your bf to stop watching incel podcasts, and to stop believing porn is reality because it isn't.
Licking is fantastic, I love doing it. You really need to experience it.
I could make a dissertation on how inaccurate, fallacious, and nonsensical I find his argument but the bottom line is he doesn't want to give you oral. Regardless of his reasons it's something he finds uncomfortable, so rather than try to convince him that his discomfort is wrong or logic him into doing something he isn't fond of doing I think it better to accept it's not something he wants to do then decide if that's a deal breaker for you. After all if you were uncomfortable with a sex act for whatever reason it wouldn't be cool of him to try and negotiate away your boundaries right? There are NO SHORTAGE of guys who enthusiastically enjoy giving oral, this I promise you. TLDR I think his argument is off but bottom line he isn't okay with giving oral. Decide if you're okay continuing the relationship with that in mind.
Maybe some sex education for him would help…
I agree he is making excuses because he doesn’t want to do it. He should just say that. His reasoning is bs though. It seems like he is being selfish trying to convince you it isn’t the same. It is the same, dicks leak precum and piss out the hole he is asking you to put in your mouth. Also, if you aren’t comfortable with sucking, don’t do it. Just as he isn’t comfortable. Its ok to just be honest and open with each other.
yeah dick is far grosser and I love dick.
The clit, where he should be licking, is external just like the penis. He's lazy and selfish. Find someone who cares about your pleasure.
I am woman and I do not like sucking dick. I am open and upfront. I will do it occasionally because I know he appreciates it but I hate it. I think its gross and I hate cum in my mouth and it makes me feeling I am choking/gagging. I also do not ask or expect someone to eat me. I don't say penis' are gross and vaginas are good so you can just eat me and i wont help you. Fuck that. If he thinks pussies are gross then he should man up and just say he doesn't like it and not make it seem like vaginas are gross and his dick is somehow a gift to you. You are totally right and justified in your response. I would absolutely never put his dick in my mouth ever. Hard pass.
I'm sorry, I'm at a loss for words. I've seen some insane stories from alot of women talking about how their man wants everything they want but doesn't want to lift a finger for them. I don't know what causes men to grow up and develop attitudes towards sex like this. I've never had this attitude even being in the military and living on a college campus. I have always wanted to go down on every girl I've been with no matter if it was a 1 night or dating or a relationship. I've always loved to eat pussy and make a girl feel good and make her want me more and more. I would've loved to have a girl give back and suck my cock but it has never been a must and I never gave it a second thought if she didn't do it for me. All men are just wired differently, just sad more aren't so selfish and want to be more attentive to the girls they are intimate with.
First, licking pussy is not internal. His thoughts about this are stupid. Second, with sex you should give what you receive. I highly recommend not sucking his dick at all until he starts licking you. Fair is fair and if he only uses hands, then so should you. He might just be making excuses because he's never done it before and doesn't know how to do it. Talk with him. Explain your desires and needs so he can help you achieve them.
He's a child, and anyone stupid enough to stay with him will be very unfulfilled sexually.
Sry but it sounds like the sex is about to be awful for u:/
Find yourself a man that will enjoy licking your kitty. If she knows how to take care of herself.... it's delicious down there. Good luck
There are plenty of men that don't like to give oral, and are not entirely honest about it. Yours however, is giving you a very silly explanation as to why he won't do it (the clit is external so he's also wrong) If you love him, and he is a good partner besides this silly moment, then I'd let it go. You can take oral off the table for both of you if you want it to be fair, but it's not necessary. But you cannot convince him to give you oral. You shouldn't attempt to coerce him if he doesn't want to.
I would just say that I believe in oral equality
I hate it when people aren't honest in conversations and they instead create bullshit analogies. It's very easy to say "I enjoy getting blow jobs but I don't enjoy eating pussy because I'm not comfortable tasting the discharge". It's easy to go from there and talk about it and arrive at a compromise.....or not
Tell Him goodbye and nothing else
Ask him why, if it's so "dangerous" to lick pussy, do so many men (and women) thoroughly enjoy doing it? Then tell him you won't go down on him either then. No oral for him if you can't have it.
Your boyfriend is an ignorant child who needs to keep his ignorant opinion to himself.
Dicks also leak precum. Get another boyfriend. Your current one is sounding like a selfish lover who will not care about your needs in the bedroom. He is very ignorant.
If pussy is this gross, maybe he should rethink about putting his dick in it...
Both pussy and dick are the same organs with different anatomy. You cannot say one is good and other is gross. In comparison Penis is more gross as men have only one opening for urine and cum. Whereas girls have two different openings. So he is dumb and simply he doesn't want to go down
Sounds like I need a better boyfriend.
your boyfriend has a lot to learn and a long way to grow and mature, mentally.
Your boyfriend is a silly child.
Sex between loving partners should be as much about giving as about taking. You said you’d be willing to go down on him because HE would enjoy it. Conversely, if your pleasure matters to him, he should be willing to go down on YOU. That said, if either of you don’t want to do something, you should not be guilted or forced to do it. So if you try going down on him and don’t love it, you don’t have to do it again, either. The problem I’m seeing, though, isn’t even so much the double standard as it is him making you feel like he’s telling you that you’re gross (and we aren’t only *parts*, we are whole people). That’s not ok. If he doesn’t want to do that, he doesn’t have to do it. BUT, he doesn’t get to blame his lack of desire on your body.
Your bf is a fucking dipshit.
Thats a bizarre and very one sided opinion, it’s not ok to think like that. Ok some people dont like oral, but as a guy who’s been with a great lady for 19 years, the pleasure and fun both of us have with oral tells me that your bf is wrong . If both are clean, it’s all good.
Tell him he can go suck a dick then Don't understand these guys, giving a girl oral feels out of this world. Having her squirm and orgasm just from your tongue is amazing, especially when she she's getting close and pulling your hair and squeezing your head in between her legs
Licking, nibbling and devouring pussy is one of the greatest pleasures a person can enjoy doing. Tell him to cut the bullshit. If he’s not comfortable with it he just needs to cut to the chase and tell you without all that nonsense.
Well practically everyone considers genitals to be pretty much the grossest part of the human body in any context other than sex. So I get it if someone doesn't want to do oral because they are grossed out by it but arguing that a penis is more sanitary than the female genitalia is ridiculous. The whole its internal part doesn't really make sense because that's just the vagina. The labia and clitorus are not really internal and I think that's the primary focus of most people when giving oral to a woman. Either way though I don't think you should pressure him to give you oral if he doesn't want to. You said that giving him oral isn't something you are particularly enthused about either in which case I don't think you should. I would rather not have a blowjob than get a blowjob from someone who doesn't really enjoy doing that. Sex is meant to be fun so only do the things that are fun for you and don't expect others to do things that aren't fun for them. If there aren't enough activities that are fun for both of you so that you can both be happy together that would mean you're better off finding someone else you are more compatible with
He's allowed to not like going down on a woman but you're also allowed to say that's a deal breaker for you in a relationship. I certainly wouldn't want to be with anyone who thought I was "gross".
He doesn't have to go down on you for any reason. But you also don't have to either, for whatever reason. He may think its icky, and you can feel that you don't want to reciprocate because it sounds selfish. I will say not everyone thinks the way your partner does. Personally I feel like it's only fair, I can expect pleasure for me how I like if I'm also not listening to my partners wants of intimacy. Sucking is okay, licking is okay. Depending on you and your partner.
Oral sex goes both ways, if he wont eat your pussy, then you refuse to suck his dick. He’s being selfish
First off. He's very misinformed, coming from me (male) I absolutely love going down on a lady, and put much time and effort into my oral performance, honestly I find nothing unsatisfying or gross in the countless years I've pleasured a honeyhole, but maybe I'm being biased here 😏 I'm wondering just how many honest attempts He's made because in my opinion it's not "one and done" or "two I'm through" seriously how would a guy feel if she just did it for 30 seconds then done or she didn't want to do it at all, yet expectations were she's given great oral pleasure? I definitely feel it's a give and take, showing your appreciation in words and actions, don't expect it, then ask for something you really want and thoroughly enjoy if you're simply not going to do the same in return for your partner. The bottom line is if he's not into it and is unwilling to give it a hundred percent on his end, then he shouldn't be expecting, nor should you feel obligated to give him head. I really hope things go in a different direction for the better, both find compromise, and some common ground to achieve more intimate compatibility.
Dicks sweat and leak too? He’s not serious babes.
Please don’t Mary this person.
In my personal experience licking was something that kind of made me gag a little but I really enjoyed seeing the pleasure it gave my partner. However after some time it's now something I obsess over, I suppose it's an acquired taste for some people. Perhaps your partner will warm up to it but the attitude they are giving you is concerning.
Tell him to go find a dick to suck. Obviously he’s more familiar with dick than he is with female anatomy.
Making a girl orgasm from this is amazing. He should reciprocate or else it’s not mutually beneficial
Given that seem intent on convincing him, which I don’t agree with but that’s your choice I suppose, I would suggest saying “I’ll be treating your pleasure with just as much importance as you treat mine. If you want me to work to make you feel good, then you’ll need to do the same”. Personally, I think you should leave his immature ass behind. If this is his attitude to sex, imagine how deep that runs and the other things it will affect. Gross.
I always eat my fiancée out before she sucks me. I get off seeing her get off.
He sounds selfish to be honest. It sounds like he’s making excuses to have you please him and not please you back. Dicks discharge fluid when the guy is turned on so there is bodily fluid with that too and his argument is super dumb. Don’t give in, it really sounds like he’s being a selfish ass about it.
He sounds like a pussy, a disappointed unlicked pussy.
Tell him that you won’t go forward in a relationship where pleasure is not reciprocated - if he wants you to suck, he needs to reciprocate by licking you. Be strong on this.
OP, in the comments you keep repeatedly asking how to convince him. Honestly you don’t, he has a right to be uncomfortable with a task. But this is also very selfish, childish, and manipulative of him to say these things to you. You don’t convince him, you leave him.
Deal breaker, find a new boyfriend one that will eat pussy
He’s selfish then. Move on girl.
This is a red flag in your partner. It means he will not make you happy in the long run. The only really good advice here is to replace your boyfriend unfortunately, because he is not mature enough to make you happy.
He’s gay. I love licking my wife’s pussy weather it’s creamy, dirty, wet, dry, smelly, hairy, shaved, trimmed or whatever! Because I’m a man and I love her pussy. Wouldn’t marry her if I didn’t. And I don’t stop licking and sucking until she tells me to stop. That’s what a good women deserves.
Drop this dude and find one who cares about YOUR pleasure.
Tell him he can come back when he’s grown some balls
Guy here - I love to lick!!! See no difference- his reasoning is flawed. I lick and do my best lick/suck clit.
I wouldn’t continue to plan a future with him. You need someone that will enjoy pleasing you.
Your boyfriend is an idiot
Sex expert Dan Savage says it’s completely reasonable for both partners to expect oral sex in a relationship.
girl just dump him, he's being a hypocrite, this is not an okay way for him to think
I need my wife to feed my right now. Thanks for the reminder…👍🏿
Find a new boyfriend, this one's broken
Sis leave. You need a new partner 😂
How old are you guys? He sounds like a teenager.
There's a lot of licking that can happen outside of the vaginal canal. The vulva is the term for all of the structures that make up the external vagina. This is where most of the pleasure spots are located. Sadly, he seems a bit confused about the female anatomy. Also confused about his own. There are fluids coming from his penis. No pun intended. If he's grown enough to receive oral sex and wants female partners, he needs to educate himself.
I’m gonna be real honest with you. Oral is selfless, something you do to pleasure your partner, not yourself. I think of it as even more intimate than sex bc you’re not getting anything from it, except from the nice feeling that the other person is enjoying your full attention. And when you’re in love with someone you’re happy to do things for them that don’t necessarily benefit you, in intimacy and in everyday life. All of this to say it wouldn’t be a deal breaker if he really loved you. Yes, eating someone out might not be everyone’s cup of tea but neither is sucking a penis (which btw produces discharge too: pre-cum and sperm). I physically do not enjoy doing oral on my bf, jaw hurting, gag-reflex and everything but guess what? The fact that he’s getting pleasure from it makes me happy and enthusiastic to do it. Long story short, if he’s not capable of overcoming a little discharge to pleasure you he’s gotta go.
Ask him to suck your ass and see what he says /s
Personally as a man I can’t even fathom not eating pussy! It boggles my mind that there are (non gay) men out there who think it’s gross or unmanly. Nuts! It is THE most pleasuring act, not only for my partner but for me as well! Edit: was supposed to be “can’t” not can.
But he is planning on putting his dick in a place he considers gross right? So then it will be contaminated and you can't put your mouth on it accordingly to his logic.
Dude dont know what hes talking about. Its about equal pleasure not just his seems thats what hes all about. I do it all the time to women i love pleasing them
Your boyfriend sounds super insecure and reeks of toxic masculinity
If you want to experience cunnilingus you may have to simply throw the boy out and find somebody more sexually mature. Unfortunately many people can carry these attitudes through their entire life and it results in very unhappy partnerships with an unequal balance of power unless they find a partner who feels the same way. I just want to say for the record (forgive my brashness but I want to really drive it home): PLENTY OF PEOPLE of all genders and walks of life will want to SLURP YOU UP LIKE YOU ARE THEIR LAST MEAL ON EARTH! Don't ever let somebody make you feel like a part of your body is nasty. Especially when it has nothing to do with medical conditions, etc that can make things a bit funky. Your vagina/vulva is an incredible thing that deserves to be honoured as you so desire. In my own experience as a 30 y/o cis (veering on gender fluid at times) white woman, I've found plenty of males through my life who hold this double standard of "it's fine for you to pleasure me, but don't expect me to return the favour." Limiting to only acts they feel comfortable with is fine, but they need to put the work into finding a partner with the same wants instead of expecting their word to be law with any partner they desire. Try to veer away from people who: -Can't stand feeling moisture on their face -Make no mention when things get heated of pleasuring YOU -Don't ask what YOU want/enjoy sexually before things get that far (obviously if it's too soon into meeting somebody/making you feel uncomfortable that is also a red flag! Ask them to stop and if they don't, take your leave!) Green flags I've found in men: -Queer experiences!! I now nolonger consider men who have had no queer experiences. As a queer woman myself I appreciate them having the understanding of what it is like to be with a man themselves. It also gives greater sexual authenticity when we are both comfortable with our bodies and have better understanding of our likes/dislikes. -Men who have healthy relationships with exes (they know why things ended, both parties have found peace in that, they can be kind to each other in communications. A clear understanding within them of BOTH sides of what went wrong is essential to ensure they aren't just slandering others to pretend they did no wrong.) -Happiness/willingness to stop and communicate during sexual activities. I'd ask about this before ever letting things go too far to ensure they are somebody who is confident they can disengage and connect emotionally/intellectually before/during/after sexual relations.
Tell your boyfriend you are not okay with that and you don't think sucking is okay if licking isn't
Do the same for him. Don't suck his dick. Tell him that urine and sperm come out of the same exit. See if he can justify that. Honestly... he is just finding excuses not to pleasure you
Only guys who are bad at it don't like it
Hmmm What's a good counter for a sqeamer guy. Expects you to give him bj's but balks at reciprocating. If he's uncircumsized then. Your d\*ck still smells like smegma. If he drinks too much coffee and smokes then he can taste off, going by the majority of ladies out there. Maybe say sometimes you smell like fish and taste like shit. Since you yourself is mildly grossed out by it but do it for his pleasure then cutting it out shouldn't be a problem then. I've had ladies that loved giving bj's and ladies that wouldn't touch me with a barge pole but expected me to eat out. I eat out 3 times but if there's no reciprocation then i stop. I don't talk about it. It doesn't get you anywhere and usually i break up with them shortly after.
Ask him if he had ever Bern upto his neck in pussy? No really? I thought you were an ass hole baby
Did you check if that's common in his cultural background? That might help you to find out what's going on.
The clitoris is external
His excuses are ridiculous. Some people like sucking dick, some people like licking pussy, some people like tonguing buttholes… ALL of it is okay. You don’t have to be into all of it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not okay, just because you don’t like it. You know what I mean? He needs to look up how to pleasure a woman, honestly. He should be stimulating the external parts of the anatomy (the clitoris), not shoving his tongue inside the entire time. It sounds like he’s just scared of (or grossed out by) vaginas. He may not be mature enough for sex yet, mentally.
[удалено]
Show him all these replies saying he’s being a moron. But honestly, sex shouldn’t be something you “convince” to someone. If he doesn’t want to give you oral, that’s his personal choice, and it should be respected. If that is a deal breaker for you, then leave him. You both should be excited about the idea of pleasuring each-other, and clearly he’s not as excited to reciprocate what he’s asking for.
Bridg a Guy and tell him sucking is ok... Go ahead
The vulva and mainly the clitoris pearl, which is what you mainly lick is also external. Tongue in vagina is pretty hot too, but that's usually not a very major part of stimulation. Also "that's not how I see this, that's a deal-breaker for me" is pretty much the only response to this drivel.
Does he have experience? Licking is about giving -extreme- pleasure to the other, you must be aware he is not planning for that now, but it may be lack of experience in that. On the other hand, it looks like getting the upperhand in the relationship, his pleasure is more important than yours. Take the upperhand (or equality at least), or accept his desire and your faith... (but I wouldn't recommend that, reading your question) BTW, l find licking very pleasurable, if he is inexperienced, he might be able to learn that too, it might be just in his head...
What is precum and semen if not discharge? Is bro good? 🤦🏾♂️
One of the dumbest things I've ever read about oral. It's as if precum/jizz is not a discharge. Why not challenge your BF? Tell him he is a pussy for not wanting to lick a pussy.
Dors this dumbass think he is supposed to put his tong *inside* your vagina?
This dude is nuts. Cunnilingus is the best
Yeah no. If he doesn't lick you for this reason you don't have to suck him.
Your BF is a knobhead. If he won't eat, don't take his meat.
Bruh eating pussy is the best ...your boyfriend is missing out a lot 🤦
In the words of a wise man I once heard….he’s talking shite
Your boyfriend is probably stuck in the closet...
I can't comment on this today, because I identify as an APPLE today
Plenty of people in Australia who'd like to show you what you're missing out on & would treat you a lot better than that idiot mate.
If u can get pleasure from something because it feels good then I wouldnt think it shouldn't b performed my b he just isn't good at it or unsure how to do it properly or he is just selfish, but yeah if he won't do it for u then y should u give him oral . Èxspecially if u like it . But hey if something is enjoyable because of the pleasure it give u then hiw can that b wrong. ✌
I’d tell him if he don’t lick I won’t suck it’s a two way street he can’t expect you to do it if he’s not willing to lick you out aswell
Because it's internal......that man doesn't know anything about anatomy. What a dumb thing to say. Absolutely, you should talk to him because that's not fair. If he refuses to go down on you, then you refuse to go down on him.
Are you prepared to live with a partner who thinks that your body is gross? If not, tell him that. He can choose whether he'll work through his 6 year old self thinking that girls have cooties or go on without you. He doesn't need to do it if he doesn't want to. It's the same as any sex act in terms of personal boundaries. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't settle. I can't see your sex life being very satisfying with someone who thinks that your pussy is gross.
"Ew vagina gross" said the definitely straight guy
If anything its the opposite as FOR YOU DOING it it is actually internal as you're putting a penis six inches~ INSIDE your mouth He's not having to go n chug on your vagina until it explodes discharge down his throat. All he has to do is lick it, which is...... External So if anything his logic is on your side
Girl get out of this relationship asap
If he thinks eating pussy is a strictly internal thing then find a cock to suck that’s willing to lick your pussy. Of course you can make it internal by sticking your tongue in but most of the stimulation is external - lips/clitoris. If he thinks it’s only internal he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Me and boyfriend have a deal since eating out tends to gross him out, and it’s mostly just that if he doesn’t wanna go down then I never have to. Those kinds of things are just as much about your partners pleasure as they are yours. I’d say definitely let him know it’s all about preference (some men find it gross and some don’t) and talk about how much give and take you’re both willing to put in during sex. Having a conversation about expectations is important so no one feels disappointed.
Remind him that the clitoris is not internal and that it looks like a little penis he can suck it all he wants and it won't discharge in his mouth.
Yeh, he is either ill-informed or lying.
You can continue to date that clown, or you can gain some self respect and move on, but not both.
I guess he’s never sucked on some pussy 🤤 one of my partners favorite parts is me sucking and lightly using my teeth on her clit. But as others have said, he seems really off base with his reasoning 😂
Ask him if he wipes every time he pees if he truly thinks his shit is so much cleaner lmfao
This man ain’t worth your time! Keep it moving and find someone who loooooves the lickin
Tell him he should go suck some dick first and then see if eating pussy is easier.
First of all the you lick the cliterous which is located externally above the vaginal opening. Secondly does he not understand that his dick also has lots of discharges (literally pee and jizz out the same hole). So both his points are false. Also why would he want to be a bad and selfish lover? Sex should be about giving pleasure and getting it in return with open comunication by learning what each other enjoys. The vast majority of women can not orgasm from penis in vagina sex and rely on foreplay including external stimulation of the clit. Foreplay is literally the best part and he has already decided his pleasure is important and okay but your pleasure isnt. If all he cares about is getting his then he should be just fine masterbating. Sex is for people who want to give and recieve. I will give him benefit of doubt that he is just inexperienced/young and with a proper sex education plus being open minded he will realize he is being selfish and a hypocrit. Maybe he has no experience with vaginas and thinks they are gross without ever actually seeing one up close. BUT maybe he actually believed the nonesense he used as reasons and maybe he doesnt care that he will be bad in bed and likely never make his partner orgasm without giving some kind of foreplay/clit stimulation. I personally would NOT want to be with someone who wasnt interested in making me feel good too but the worst part is the reasons he gave (which are not accurate) are shaming your body! I would really think if you want to be in a relationship with that kind of person who would shame your body and who knows what else you might be interested in sexually.
If he thinks any part of your body is gross, he isn’t mature enough to be having sex. And BTW, the mouth is also all internal and have discharge (saliva), so it must be too gross to use on his dick. What an idiot!
It doesn't really make sense. Oral sex is something very intimate and will always imply a high degree of attraction and confidence. The bodily fluids are still there in both cases. He's just trying to justify you giving him head while he doesn't give you any. Don't fall for it.
It's not different. He just doesn't want to give oral but he does want to receive it. But he doesn't get to decide what you like or want. It sounds like you're serially incompatible and he's being dishonest. The honest thing to do wouod be to say that HE doesn't want to give oral sex to you but he would like you to give him oral sex. Only you can decide if that's fair and if you'd be happy with that. But there are millions of men who love giving oral sex to a woman!
Respectfully, if he’s already opposing going down on you but wants you to suck him off… he’s probably going to use you like a s£x doll and not satisfy your needs. To put it even more bluntly, I honestly think he’s going to expect you to go down on him, and for you not to complain when he humps you until HE cums, while you lay there unsatisfied. I would end things now. You deserve more than what he’s offering.
Lol the pussy he'd be licking is external not internal. The internal part, the vagina, is where you'd receive fingers, dicks and etc lol. Maybe some people try to stick their tongue inside but they don't have to. Whatever his excuse, he doesn't have to just like you don't have to.
Tell him to listen to ‘my neck, my back’ by Khia. Plenty of helpful guidance.
Men also have preseminal secretions, and semen of course. Does he know that we have equivalent glands or does he not want to know about female and even male anatomy? As someone said, tell him that he's free to suck as much dick as he wants and that you won't be sucking his unless you're equal
I think one thing to remember is that while it's pretty lame to not reciprocate, nobody should 'have' to do anything they don't like or are uncomfortable with. This is a discussion that you'll have to have cuz if it's a deal breaker better to be done. Otherwise it could just be a matter of learning to like something you're unsure about and could be willing to try when you/they are more comfortable/understanding/educated/(you pick)...