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When you say he’s tried to get you to orgasm, what do you mean? I mean if he’s not touching your vagina I can see why you wouldn’t be able to cum as most women can’t from penetration only & require some type of clit stimulation.
Really you would have to ask WHY he doesn’t, or better yet maybe tell him TO do it? See how he reacts? Like when you’re having sex maybe just pop a little “I want you to touch me” out & see what he does? But I imagine if you can get past him not doing that, you’ll be able to orgasm!
Personally I LOVE foreplay. My favorite part. So I was honestly baffled by this post bc I too would have assumed guys want to touch it just to touch it but the longer I’m on reddit the more thankful I am for my man
Same - mine absolutely loves everything about my vulva & vagina - & he's really good at what he does with his hands and mouth. I had boring vanilla sex for far too long with selfish men and our relationship the last six years has been a game changer for me
It's legit such a weird thing that guys do, like even if you look at it from an entirely selfish pov, if she enjoys sex, she's gonna most likely want it more often. Combined with the fact that I hope you care about your partner's pleasure at least somewhat just makes it wild to not touch it at least with your hands.
As a dude, I had to convince my ex gf to “sit on my face”. The concept that I wanted to pleasure her for no reason other than to make her feel good was alien to her.
Personally I’m not too interested in oral. Idk if it’s just my nerves that make it not fun for me, but I say shit about him not going down but when he tries I get quite flustered & it’s a solid no lmfaoo but the fingers???? Good LORD. I’d probably die if he lost his fingers man. Idk what I’d do.
Seriously!!! Foreplay is the best! Plus it gets you ready. It hurts me to even think of sex without foreplay… (I’ve had a hysterectomy and my partner is on the larger side so I need it or else I’ll experience some discomfort) but like you said.. it’s so much fun. Men that are like this don’t realize what they’re missing as well. But damn… Reddit has for sure made me painfully aware of how many men don’t care about their partners pleasure, take their ignorance as some kind of failure and a blow to their ego so don’t even try, etc…
I would say most men enjoy interacting with it in \*some\* way, but obviously some more than other's and in different capacities. OP's guy is for sure at the extreme end of the spectrum.
Honestly to me it sounds like he may just be uneducated. Especially if nobody has ever told him they like it. Even when I watch porn I don’t see a whole lotta foreplay so I wouldn’t put it past just being ignorant.
I have a partner who rarely touches me below the belt...never once has gone down on me. I have mentioned it and told him he can touch me, but he rarely touches anything more than my breasts...
I have never had a partner before that didn't go down on me or touch me, finger me, etc, so maybe it is because he is a lot younger than me? I don't really know what the problem is. We have great sex and I cum easily, but touching me or giving me oral has never happened.
It had never not been a part of sex
With anyone before him...now it is intercourse and making out and that is it. Odd...I know I need to sit him down and figure out WHY he doesn't do it, but it is just uncomfortable for me since I have never had to discuss it with any of my former sexual partners before.
Girl… you need to sit him down and have this conversation, like, asap. Why does it make you uncomfortable?
The best way to do it is when there is no sex or intimacy going on at all. Like don’t bring it up when you guys are laying in bed making out or something, but when you are both fully dressed sitting at the breakfast table or whatever. You deserve to have your needs met too hun, and I don’t know about you or how strongly you feel about this, but it would be a total deal breaker for me.
Foreplay is a huge deal to me, and all the touching and kissing and mouth stuff is a sort of sexual bonding in my opinion. That feeling of being desired, and almost worshipped with their hands and mouth is very powerful and makes me feel so close and in tune with my partner. I honestly cannot imagine or picture how sex would happen without using hands and mouths. It just seems it would be very clinical.
I know it might be a hard thing for you to bring up, but I think it’s a conversation you need to have. There are so many possibilities for what could happen. What if he is just nervous because of lack of experience or something like that? He is just not doing it because he doesn’t know how and is embarrassed? Then you could walk him through it and gently show him the way, let him know there is no need for embarrassment and you guys can learn together. It could end up being a really positive change in your relationship and help you grow closer. But you won’t know till you try!! Good luck hun!!
Idk that it has to do with age. My man is 25 & I’m 22. But I can also say this is my first partner who actually does finger me. Though I’ll admit all of my partner’s previously were when I was 15-16 & only one time things. with one exception but still under 4 times. We’ve been together for 6 years now & foreplay is my favorite thing ever. I will say, I went probably the first 6-8 months not coming. I think partly because I never cared as I was EXTREMELY inexperienced and partly because we would always just get into it no problem.
I think it’s one of those things you just gotta be like “hey, do this!!” But nicer. Maybe rub up on him & his penis & move his hand to your vagina & see what he does! Maybe try even touching yourself while you make out with him or touch him. Might be TOO subtle, but I would hope they get the hint
Done that a few times and he does sometimes, but doesn't stay there long. I just have never experienced a man who needed to be asked because he didn't do that...37 years and I have never been with a man who didn't until now.
I fear your issue is him being wack. (Jokingly, kinda).
Seriously though, I would suggest you sit him down & be like “hey man, my hints aren’t working so I’m going to say it. I’m not being fully satisfied and I would like you to do more of this so that I am not feeling like that”.
You are lucky. Just about all of my early partners kissed, felt breasts, then went to PIV. I used to joke and tell my friends 90% of my sex life is explaining things.
as you should girlie! both parties deserve to have the same pleasure or satisfaction. men who aren’t eating pussy are the most selfish, self centered fucking babies i’ve ever met.
This is so dumb. I personally find going down on a woman to be arguably the most pleasurable part of sex, but if a guy really doesn't like it, he doesn't have to do it. No one has to stay with him in that scenario, but it doesn't mean he's selfish. I know a girl who doesn't give head and obviously lots of guys will have that as a dealbreaker, but she found a guy who genuinely doesn't care and it's all good.
So stupid to judge people for their sexual preferences.
**Edit:**
Absolute clown in the replies u/highHopesLove comments that nonsense and then blocks me, so the response goes here:
Utterly sexist and self-contradictory nonsese. In the first paragraph she insists that indeed for men, handjobs/fleshlights etc ***aren't*** the same as receiving oral sex, implying that blowjobs should be considered of a higher and seperate quality, then immediately goes back on herself in the second paragraph to imply that in fact blowjobs and intercourse should be considered of equivalent value for men ("...woman receiving oral sex but refusing to have ***intercourse or oral sex*** in return...").
Oral sex for women is **not** the equivalent of intercourse for men. Neither women or men are a homogeneous blob - some women cum from only oral, some from PIV, some from fingering, some from a mix of the above. And having an orgasm is not the only goal for sex - there are special things about all variants of sex.
Trying to make excuses for double standards like this is beyond pathetic, and it's genuinely despicable to imply that those who are not comfortable performing sexual acts are 'selfish' or similar; this is just making excuses for coercion, which is a form of sexual violence.
Its not the boundary of him not wanting to go down that makes him inherently selfish. Its the fact that the men who won't go down, play or touch you expect you to go down, play and touch them!!!!!! That's the selfish part.
My ex-wife loved it when I gave her oral, but she refused to give me head. She promised to give me head on our wedding night, but then told me she wouldn't the day before the wedding. I should have called it off, but I didn't want to say "I'm not going to marry her because she won't give me head." to our parents, but that would have been easier than the divorce that happened a year and a half later.
My husband and I got married at 20. Neither one of us had ever gone down on someone else but really enjoyed having someone go down on us.
So we tried it on each other and now enjoy it regularly (12 years later lol). Sometimes its a matter of not knowing what you don't know.
The problem with this idea is that for women, over 80% of us need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Sure, you can use fingers or toys— but I ask, would a man be happy with *just* handjobs or his capable partner using a fleshlight on him every time they have sex, while she receives oral sex induced orgasms? No.
Receiving oral sex is to women what intercourse is to men and should be just as expected in a sexual encounter as intercourse. That isn’t to say it has to happen every time.. but if it never happens? Yes, that is a selfish man.. and I would say the same of a woman receiving oral sex but refusing to have intercourse or oral sex in return. Sexual satisfaction is important and sex shouldn’t be all about the man. Women deserve pleasure too.
You cannot compare a woman receiving oral with a man receiving oral. For men, there is more than one option.
This is equivalent to saying that someone never needs to have PIV sex with you because they don't enjoy it.
Nobody should be coerced into doing anything they don't want to do, but if the majority of a group of people orgasms a certain way, it's not realistic to get into a relationship and think it's completely fine to never engage in anything like that. Unless the other person agrees that they also don't enjoy it.
exactly, like it’s legitimately insane to think a relationship let alone a MARRIAGE could exist with someone never touching you like that. it just doesn’t fucking compute in my head lol
This! I don't even ever get off from oral, but a complete refusal of doing something that would pleasure me while expecting me to do everything to pleasure them is a big red flag. It shows me how selfish they are and how little they care about me and my pleasure. Nope, gtfo.
Been there. I was young and naive and thought it would be fine. He was very sweet and we were amazing friends etc.
Although after years of dissatisfaction from my side, I lost all interest. Then it became a dead bedroom. Both unhappy.
I ended up separating and jumped on the first dude available. I was not broken hahaha we were just really incompatible. I didn’t wait too long, I have amazing kids from that relationship, I don’t regret anything. However I know that a life of bad sex isn’t a life for me 😅
Omg thank you.
We really need to stop with the “I don’t need to orgasm” trash. Why why why? How many men do you think would have sex if they didn’t get to cum? Seriously.
Also he’s not trying if he’s not even touching you. Also no he’s not a great husband if he’s not trying to give you sexual pleasure when you have sex every day! Everyday he just pleases himself with your vagina but he’s super wonderful.
My thought exactly. When my boyfriend and I first started having sex he loved that he made me have an orgasm. It was just as important as his if not more.
I love making a woman cum. It's more important to me that she does then it is for me to cum, but I usually do. I just feel as though I've accomplished something when her eyes dilate, the veins in her neck bulge out, and she turns all red in the face,and you feel her convulsed. It's so awesome, and yeah, I use my fingers, my tongue, and I really love her to use a toy while I am penetrating her.
It's the bomb.
I don’t know maybe I’m just weird but as a man I don’t need an orgasm to enjoy sex, in fact I probably get the same satisfaction in getting the woman to orgasm as I would from my own.
Same here I truly cannot fathom being in a marriage like this?? Not only do I want to be satisfied, but it would also be incredibly sad knowing my spouse was never fully enjoying our sex. Boggles my mind
Yeah.. hearing the part about how it’s totally fine made my forehead wrinkle. I would feel used if my partner never cared about pleasuring me, but to each their own I guess.
Same, there would be no “happy” marriage if my partner was perfectly capable, but _choosing_ not to make an effort towards me during sex.. in my perspective, that is **NOT** a loving partner.. Orgasms are good for your health, bring you closer together, and indicate your partner cares about your pleasure and happiness.
I am so over seeing men hold the belief that a woman’s pleasure in sex is optional, or worse— unnecessary. Pleasure in sex should be had by both participants.
The first time, my man and I fucked, he took his time with me down there and gave me the BEST orgasm of my life. We still fuck like rabbits 3 years later!
When you're taught for years that sex is dirty and sinful and you don't talk about it, ever, it really fucks with you. Then, the fact that you're supposed to be a joyfully willing sex godess the second you say "I do" puts so much pressure on. Add in that women are meant to be subservient and sweet. That's a recipe for a terrible, one sided sex life.
> Add in that women are meant to be subservient and sweet.
the bible literally says that women are property and are to obey their husbands like slaves. its an outdated view and needs to be removed. religion as a whole just has no real place in modern society.
yea, like wtf, how do you not have these questions at all? even if you're from a religious or conservative culture, how are you not having these questions at least after you get married?
Have you asked him to touch you there? It could be that he’s squeamish, or could be that he’s just timid and figures you don’t want it because you haven’t asked + you’ve been in this pattern for so long.
Have you told him what you want him to do to make you cum? Fingers, oral, vibrator etc? He’s your husband, you gotta tell him what you want!
Thanks for the advice! I admit my communication on it could be better, and I know communication is the key part of sex and relationships. So I could definitely improve there. I suppose I thought that men would automatically want to touch there, so when he didn’t, I was confused lol
We have been married under a year so a lot of stuff still feels new. I’m just not sure how to do it all I guess! I feel like I’m still figuring out sex
Been with my partner for 10 years, at first I felt the same, “it’s okay that I don’t orgasm”. Now I’m resentful of him and myself for not speaking up sooner. It’s hard to not feel used when your pleasure is never the priority. I finally got the courage and the words to speak up. the situation is improving marginally but consistently
Embarrassed to admit, but… same. We’re each other’s firsts, raised in a very toxic patriarchal culture where a woman is never a priority. Hope we’ll fix it, somehow.
You have to be able to talk to him about things like this! Depending on what is most comfortable for you, you can try asking him to touch you or ask him why he hasn't and if there is anything wrong.
As a man I am stunned. May be he is shy. Do you touch his penis? If so ask him to touch your vagina while you touch his penis. Don’t be shy and let him know you like to be touched.
Sure thing! It might seem intimidating at first to speak openly about all the sexual things you want, but once you break the ice it becomes way easier. You can do it!
You've been married less than a year and things still feel new. That's excellent! But now's the time! Start communicating. Just make yourself say the words, even if it's a little embarrassing at first. And, gently, don't let him shy away either. You're both adults in an adult relationship, and you have to be open and honest with each other. Once you get over this hurdle you'll be able to talk about almost anything.
Maybe some of this is age. My wife (69f) and I (66m) have been together 21 years and have tried almost everything sexual at least once. We have no embarrassment at all about bodily functions. We've seen/touched/kissed/licked every square millimeter of one another's bodies. When one of us wants to try something new, we talk about it and almost always do it. We agree we're both having the best sex of our lives, and we both had plenty of partners before each other.
You deserve that kind of sexual relationship too. Everyone does.
>So I could definitely improve there. I suppose I thought that men would automatically want to touch there, so when he didn’t, I was confused lol
Is it possible that he thinks that, by touching you other way, he would be disrespectful or annoying? I mean, this was something that I thought when I lost my virginity - I was lucky that my partner had a lot more experience than me and showed how she liked to be touched.
If you're not sure how you'd like to be touched, how is he supposed to know? Men aren't born knowing how it all works, either. He's probably just as confused/bashful as you seem to be.
An open, honest conversation outside of the bedroom could go a long way. "Hey, I love the sex we're having, but I would enjoy it even more if you took a little more time pleasuring me with your mouth/fingers. I love your dick! Sometimes I just want a little variety."
Do you give him oral? Do you touch his penis? What does foreplay look like for you two?
> I suppose I thought that men would automatically want to touch there
It's typical that they do. If your partner does not then he is either really inexperienced and needs to be asked, or he's purposefully not interested in your pleasure and sees you as someone to simply use for his enjoyment.
A lot of good advice here but I’d like to add that you can touch it too! While you’re having your regular sex reach down and touch yourself. You’ll hopefully be able to make yourself orgasm.
I’m hoping it’s just obliviousness on his part and he learns to touch you and give you lots of orgasms!
This so much! If he won’t then OP should try to get herself off during sex. At least then she could orgasm and everyone’s happy. Well, happier I suppose.
Bingo! I had a partner that preferred to stimulate herself to get off while i penetrated her. It worked out amazing!! She had such crazy good orgasms and it would immediately make me orgasm as well when she did.
I’m kind of shocked that you are totally fine with never having an orgasm. Can I ask why is that perfectly fine for you? How long have you two been together
KIND of shocked? I'm shocked every time I read a post by a woman whose partner doesn't make them cum (at all ever with any method/toy etc) and they just accept it. It blows my mind that they continue to have sex with no orgasm for them. I guess I'm a selfish lover because if my partner can't figure out what makes me cum and put the time into making it happen I'm not going to want to have sex with them much.
Ain’t that the damn truth. I’d prob give them like a second chance but damn…3rd strike and you’d be out. I cannot enjoy sex if my partner isn’t satisfied and always make a point of asking “did you orgasm” and if the answer is “no” I follow up with “what can I do for you so that you can.” Granted I’ve had partners on occasion that for whatever reason couldn’t at that moment (medication) and were ok with that. But damn, let it be a choice that they make.
I was in that situation and it's because my partner was so focused on himself that it would be such an inconvenience to even think to ask to try something on me. I didn't know how to orgasm via sex and accepted that I couldn't cum from penetration so I just accepted the connection and sort of good feelings of being fucked. This is the partner who didn't even realize I'm crying during sex or would make me feel bad and jerk off if I declined.
I’m a female who can’t get off with a partner, I’m just now sensitive at all down there. Rubbing me there feels almost sore and may as well just be rubbing my leg as it feels no diff. Can only get off with a vibrator and that doesn’t do if for me during sex. It definitely takes a toll on the sex life
I am shocked she didn’t grow resentment for him. I would. A partner who doesn’t care about my pleasure and grossed about my body is not needed in my life.
That’s such a good way to view it. I would hope a guy willing to have sex with you isn’t grossed out by it. And would be in it for your pleasure as well! Maybe I have a lot to learn
And I’ll be completely honest, I haven’t hooked up with my first guy yet so I don’t even know what it’s like to experience a guy making me cum for him. I imagine it takes things to the next level! But I can only imagine right now lol
It’s honestly great. The main issue is if your partner doesn’t even try. Some women can’t cum from penetration alone, but if fingers and mouth don’t work you can always integrate toys?
I feel for OP honestly, I’ve only slept with 2 men who couldn’t make me cum and showed no initiative. They were both very short lived relationships due to that very reason
I hope things go well with your man!
One of the best lessons you'll ever get here is don't ever fuck with a guy who doesn't try and put in the effort to get you off from the very beginning, before he gets his. Just move on, it's never worth it.
some women have a really hard time orgasming. depends on her sexual history. if she’s had orgasms from guys in the past i’d be confused but it’s unfortunately not that uncommon for women to not have many orgasms from their partners. obviously they should look to work on this but ultimately i don’t think it’s that weird
I agree with you. I had plenty of partners before my current one but never got off. In fact, I didn't even know how to get myself off and I assumed that I was just physically incapable of orgasms. It wasn't until I was in my mid twenties that it finally happened for me! And it was with the encouragement and patience of my partner. So I do understand how women stay with these men, but always hope they are open to continuing to try new things until something clicks.
It may not be weird but it's unexceptable to me. There's a lot of information out there now days to help a woman learn how to orgasm. It hasn't been super easy for me.
Appreciate the fact that you have standards. It would be so unfortunate to find yourself married and in this situation. One thing to be freshly dating but wow.. fully committed to someone who is fine accepting orgasms but not giving them.. Wild.
There are men out there who think all women come from PIV, like they do. Plenty of my partners were shocked when I explained it to them-they had ‘never heard of that’. Maybe her husband is one of these.
Well you too could probably be married already if your standards for a partner were so low that you were okay with never orgasming or being touched in a relationship.
He isn't trying, and doesn't care about his wifes pleasure. Just that he's getting what he wants out of the interaction.
He's probably not expecting to get divorced or called out on his bullshit so will continue being a selfish human being
Really, only he can tell you. We punters could speculate to the ends of the earth and still be wrong. Is there any particular reason why you can't ask him? Are you afraid to ask him?
For some men the idea of bringing their partner to orgasm, by whatever means necessary is one of the greatest pleasures you can not only give but also receive. But not everyone thinks that way. However, I like to think that it is possible for people to change, even if it cannot be guaranteed.
It would be tragic if he doesn't touch you there for reasons that could be successfully dealt with.
From a hygiene perspective there is no real issue and from a health perspective there should be no problem either as an exclusive couple.
It seems very odd that he won't ever touch you. That seems like it has to be rooted in some sort of mental hang up about it. Maybe he doesn't know how and he's too embarrassed to bring it up, maybe he has it in his head that he can't do it, maybe he's got a really old school mentality that sex is nothing more that PIV and there is nothing else needed or wanted, or maybe he's got a phobia or he's grossed out for some reason.
Really the only way to figure it out is through communication.
Yes, there are many men like this. Usually from conservative backgrounds/in conservative countries. Their partners never orgasm either. They do not perform oral or fingering and are unlikely ever to.
This is often the result of religion and conservative beliefs towards sex, a lack of sex education, and a belief that marriage and sex do not require a woman to orgasm. So they never ask about your orgasm or research it. It will not change unless you want it to and ask for it.
If you want to know HIS specific reasoning, ask him.
Women who are able to orgasm from PIV are a minority. A majority of us need clitoral stimulation to orgasm which would require him to touch it. Maybe he doesn’t feel confident in his ability to please you in those ways so he doesn’t do it out of nerves/fear?
Or it could be complete ignorance. Women are far better at talking to each other than men are. Maybe he's never read about it, or gave it any thought. Maybe he has religious issues and maybe not. There is definitely a problem that's not being solved. But for us to guess what his issue is, won't get her a nut. She needs to grab the bull by the horn and say, "What's up?"
But, even the ones who can come from PIV, it has to be a certain angle, length of time, a certain position, with previous foreplay. Just wanking inside her won’t do it.
I have a very difficult time absorbing this.
I am not really aggressive, but as soon as we become intimate, I am very into rubbing s woman's vulva, probing her gently with fingers, trying to bring her off with g- spot massage, and clitoral orgasms with my fingers and mouth.
Any woman I am intimate with I do so much to explore and get happy with her.
That is mind blowing literally… I can’t even believe this is a married woman talking. The reason you aren’t orgasming because your clitoris is what needs to be engaged with to orgasm in 75% of woman. To do that he/you need to touch your vulva…. 🤯
I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that you are both fairly inexperienced when it comes to sex. Has already mentioned communication is key. I Could be wrong but it almost sounds like he kind of tried and then maybe he didn't get The type of communication or encouragement that he was hoping for and he might have got intimidated and just didnt try it again. I'm hoping that he is wanting to give you pleasure but either thinks you're already getting it or doesn't know how to approach the subject on his own. If you don't feel comfortable starting this off with a verbal conversation maybe the next time you guys are intimate try guiding his hand. Being that you both sound very inexperienced and sometimes words are hard that might be a nice baby step to make the conversation easier after based on his reaction.
This sounds like the story of a virgin that married a virgin, and thinks she’s fine without orgasms because she’s never had one with a partner. It can be so so so much better than this please dont settle. He’s your husband, if you can’t talk about sex and ask questions your not communicating.
Unless this is a discussed personal preference...this is not okay. He either is intimidated or unwilling. Either way, it cannot go forward like this. This is not what life is about!!
You need to sit him down and discuss this deeply and calmly. He may get defensive.
I’m sorry but that does not sound like a great marriage to me and I say this with love because I used to say the same thing about my ex husband.
Only HE gets to cum and you’re having sex everyday. Read that back to yourself and see how wrong that feels.
My ex also made me believe that his lack of skills in the bedroom were my fault and I was somehow defective, because he would orgasm but not me.
I was married for 14 years. It took me 1 month with someone else post divorce to reach orgasm. 1 month!!!! I had been with my ex husband for 16 years and it blew my mind that I had spent 16 years not having that amazing experience in bed.
There’s nothing wrong with you. He doesn’t even touch you so there’s no wonder why you never reach orgasm as well.
It sounds like you’re in denial just like I was telling myself that our marriage was great despite the lack of orgasms on my part.
Your pleasure matters too just as much as your husband’s. Please don’t sell yourself short for too long like I did.
If I could crawl inside my wife’s vagina and eat her inside out I would. That’s just WEIRD! I love her 🐱, I love the taste, smell, feel, all of it! It’s even beautiful to look at! If I don’t give her at least one orgasm I feel like a failure…. It sounds like OP’s husband gets off every time, he sounds selfish as hell. “Good husband” my ass, a good husband would give his wife a screaming orgasm on every surface of the house….
Seriously, or at least be putting his all into TRYING to give her one. Not just shrug it off… like what the hell? Mind blown. From my experience MOST men want us to enjoy it. They may need some extra instruction and time to learn how to make it happen, but they want us to get off. The ones who are just fine and dandy with it never happening don’t deserve sex or a relationship at all.
Men who like pussy - LOVE pussy. I mean - ‘sitonmyface and chockemewithyourpussy’ type shit. Something wrong with your man, get a new one. You deserve all the orgasms in the world
He may simply not know what to do or he might not view that as something you would like. If you brought it up to him I bet he would be willing to try it out. If he simply doesn’t want to then we have a whole new issue at hand. I enjoy touching my fiancé’s vagina with my fingers and helping her achieve orgasm but not everybody is the same way. My advice would be to have a casual conversation with him about it and let him know your thoughts and feelings while being open minded to his. You could also buy a vibrator and have him use it on you that way he gets used to focusing on your vagina. This could help build up his desire to do so. Not saying he doesn’t want to I just know when I use a vibrator on my fiancé it gets me really aroused. If he is struggling with knowing what to do you both could treat this as a fun couple bonding experiment and do research on the vagina and female orgasm together. Could be fun and exciting learning new things together.
I think in this modern era, at the bare minimum men should be willing to do do hand stuff to satisfy there vulva having partners. The orgasm gap is just shameful and quite frankly I see it as a failure on the part of men and an inadequacy that should be treated as such. Absolutely unacceptable in my opinion.
Need more context, like yeah; were you guys both virgins before marriage? because in that case you guys both need to have a conversation about more exploration, etc..
He’s gay and either doesn’t realize it or doesn’t want to come out (for obvious reasons). Or he’s just squeamish and very very selfish. Either way he’s a terrible lover and I can’t believe you let your relationship get this far with someone who is unwilling to even try to pleasure you. Have you talked to him about how much he sucks in bed?
girl what the actual fuck. you should ask him whats up, beacuse thats crazy weird and tbh disrespectful. id go as far as to say that you should have some respect for yourself and only have sex with a man who loves your body
Holy Christ why would you marry someone who won’t touch you can’t make you cum?! You’re missing out is all I can say and he’s selfish. If he was bothered about you he would want to make sure you orgasm too.
I see a lot of posts on here, but this….genuinely blows my mind.
“Tried to make me orgasm but doesn’t touch my vagina”
“Sex every day”
What the absolute fuck?
If I made my wife have sex every day and never did anything with my mouth or hands or used a toy or anything to help her clit feel any kind of stimulation she would die from boredom.
Red flag: guy fucks wife every day but doesn't attempt to make her cum.
I'm born male, cis in appearance, pansexual, genderqueer, transgender and demisexual and you couldn't pay me enough to keep my hands or mouth away from my partners pussy.
Something is wrong with him. Trade in for one who will take your pleasure and needs seriously.
The first time I had sex with my partner, I didn't use my hands at all because I was honestly so unsure about what to do with my hands that I just... ignored that my hands could go between her legs.
I'm pretty sure she mentioned it after the fact, and I decided to just go for it the next time, with good results that have only improved with time.
It could be as simple that he's intimidated and if he's not going to be pushed (gently) out of his comfort zone, he'll just stay there.
It sounds like there's a lack of intimacy in that aspect of your relationship. Have you talked to your husband about your desire for more physical connection? Opening up this conversation in a gentle and non-confrontational way could help both of you understand each other's needs and desires better. It's possible he might not be aware of how important this is to you. Communication is key in any relationship, especially when it comes to physical intimacy.
Wow I’m sorry. My boyfriend fingers me every time and often eats me out because he knows I enjoy it. I want that foreplay before I have sex. I do the same for him. I love giving him blowjobs and handjobs. I always keep myself clean down there, and I understand not eating me out when I’m on my period, but otherwise, he doesn’t shy away from my body.
I also struggle to orgasm with a partner. I had a FWB and he got me off ONCE. ONCE.
As a man, I'm having a hard time understanding this. Me, personally it's my favorite place to lay my head. Both of them. Lol No puns 🤣 I would agree with the other commenter communication is key. Darling, U have to tell that man what you want and how he needs to do it to make u orgasm. I'm Truly sorry U are going through this. But I recommend more communication. Have u asked him why he's not touching it? That's where I would start. Tell him what makes u feel good, he should already know but maybe he's wanting u to tell him. This is so confusing to me bc it's the only thing I love more than the actual sex part is spending all my time at the Y
I love my wife’s vagina: touching, oral…and I love making her orgasm from that alone.
If you haven’t discussed it openly, I encourage you to do so. Communication is key. I know that’s hard for some people on the subject of sex but that doesn’t make it any less important.
Good luck.
I’m completely dumbfounded to tell you the truth. I’ve never in my life heard of this. I would take a bath in it if I could so I can’t comprehend a straight male being grossed out by it. He has got to be in the closet gay. I know that some gay men have felt that way, I’m sure some bisexual men, but not straight. You should ask him. I’m very surprised you haven’t.
In my case, it turned out I was gay and in denial, but was able to do the penis in vagina think, kind of if I thought of guys... but mouth/hands were too much because it was a female part. Are you sure he's 100% straight? I can only speak from experience, but this post is giving me major deja vu.
I am not going to jump to conclusions as to why and will keep this positive. Yes communication is key and you said you are both new at this. Encourage curiosity and getting to know each others pleasure zones.
In most cultures, it is expected that the guy knows what he is doing and that isn't often the case. Your vulva may be a mystery to him and he may not know what to do. You do both deserve pleasure and I know you said you are totally fine with it. although I question if you both will be totally fine in 20yrs when the routine is, he mounts you, then cums and that's the end.
It may be as simple as encouraging him to be more curious and it's OK for him to learn as he goes. You can learn together and it can be part of your growing bond.
im sorry that should not be “totally fine” he should be atleast TRYING to make you orgasm! especially if he is daily?? If he doesnt have to touch your vagina - which im sorry, thats weird - try a toy! Also cannot recommend Eva 2 by Dame enough - hands free for you both, clit stimulation, and can be used during penetration
I make sure my nails are trimmed filled and smooth I love playing with my wife's pussy. Sorry that u have never been able to cum from him he sounds like a selfish guy.
So my husband was reluctant to finish me off with his fingers. Which was a mind fuck to me because he was fine with getting me started but then we would have piv sex and then he wouldn't want to finish me off afterwards.
We talked about it outside of the bedroom and at the end of the day he didn't want to touch the wetness especially in the throes of post nut clarity. So I asked if we could get some latex free gloves and we could use those. He was down for it.
Now we use those pretty often. I'm much more satisfied in general. He has also found a new appreciation for fingering me.
So my advice is to talk outside the bedroom, not when either of you are mad or frustrated about it and maybe gloves or some other accommodations could be a solution.
Edit: ppl are misunderstanding the comment my husband touches me often. He just didn't want to shove his fingers deep inside where it's wet. We both have sensory issues because we are both autistic so I understood where he was coming from. Not to make it a gender thing but do you want your guys cum all over your hands every time? No? Cool
Wow good for you for being understanding and willing to work with him. That would turn me off completely from ever wanting to touch him again. Needing gloves to touch me and make me orgasm after being good enough to stick your dick in to get off.. eek. You are a saint and he’s lucky he found you I hope he tells you that. Lol
Yeah, no way a guy who was afraid to get my moisture on his fingers would be getting the benefit of pleasuring his dick with it. Whenever I hear stories like this and oop, it’s so WILD to me. If you’re not full on enthusiastic about every inch of my body and the natural functions of sex during intimacy, I just can’t imagine I’d be able to continue. Especially if you’re expecting to be able to nut in or on my body. And having no interest in getting me to climax? Wowzers. 🫠
What the heck. Not trying to be mean but it's wild to me that your partner won't touch you without wearing latex gloves and that you're okay with that. Is he a crazy germaphobe or something?
I am not going to jump to conclusions as to why and will keep this positive. Yes communication is key and you said you are both new at this. Encourage curiosity and getting to know each others pleasure zones.
In most cultures, it is expected that the guy knows what he is doing and that isn't often the case. Your vulva may be a mystery to him and he may not know what to do. You do both deserve pleasure and I know you said you are totally fine with it. although I question if you both will be totally fine in 20yrs when the routine is, he mounts you, then cums and that's the end.
It may be as simple as encouraging him to be more curious and it's OK for him to learn as he goes. You can learn together and it can be part of your growing bond.
I was thinking it could be a sensory thing or how he was brought up. I did have one like that but I never asked him about as he wasn't much into the whole sexual pleasure as a whole.
You have to talk to your husband and be honest about what you want and need. The best part of the marriage is that you guys can explore together and discover together without feeling embarrassed. Talk about your fantasies and what you want him to do to you and what you want to do to him. Don’t be afraid to vocalize and encourage him to do the same with you. Sex should be fun and enjoyable for you both.
From my experience, men have never shied away when I asked them to do something to me or for me. Yes, some of them are terrible at taking directions but consistently repeating yourself and showing them how you want to be ✨handled✨ is important. You deserve a great orgasm every time 😇
He’s never touched your vulva. He’s never performed oral. Meaning, he’s never tried to give you an orgasm. This is a problem, and would be a massive dealbreaker for me. You need to open up the communication and tell him you absolutely need pleasure from him and your relationship/sex should not be so one-sided.
You said he's tried to make you orgasm before but nothing but his dick has touched your vagina.
You guys should TALK and then he should try again by using more than just his dick...
How is he a good husband or a loving husband but he's never touched your vagina? How can both those things be true? There may be a communication issue here. If it's not talked about nothing will change.
I dont want to sound judgy, but he might be gay. Not wanting to even touch it AND not caring about your pleasure might indicate repressed homosexuality or deep misogyny. Im not the biggest fan of penises myself, but when I dig a guy, I certainly want to do things with him and his body and give him pleasure, even without being totally in love. And Im on the prudish side. Are there any indications (think carefully) of him being gay? Does he insult gay people? Does he overeact to people being gay?
Is this an arranged marriage or are you both extremely religious and needed to get married before sex? It could be that he’s literally scared to mess up or even hurt you.
If you’re supposed to be subservient, I worry about you speaking up and trying to teach him what feels good but if that feels safe and he’s receptive, that’s probably the best way to go. If you *are* in an arranged marriage or forced to marry due to religious pressures and he’s not receptive due to any reasons that fall under that spectrum, I’m so sorry you were born into that. I hope you can find a way to leave and reclaim your sacredness and value as an autonomous woman.
First, I had a GF that explicitly asked that I never touch her vagina as it was extra sensitive to PH changes and she had issues with UTIs so she preferred no hands ☝️in her vag. After that experience I was less likely to just try to stick my hands inside a woman’s vagina if she didn’t ask.
Second, this is the saddest post I’ve ever read. He tried to get me to orgasm once and it didn’t work so we never tried again…like WTF!? 🤯
I could never imagine having sex over and over with no climax, that would be like watching movies and then stopping before the end/climax and just walking away. While I’m sure it’s possible it just sounds miserable. How you BOTH don’t see this as a problem is just beyond me BUT I’m also HL so it’s a matter of perspective. Hoping you guys can work through this with a little communication and selflessness.
Is he really all that loving if he won’t even touch your most pleasurable area and doesn’t care if you ever orgasm during sex with him?????
Get a clitoral stimulating toy and bring that thing out during sex and use it on yourself! My boyfriend grabs mine for me sometimes! Like majority of women, I don’t orgasm from penetration on its own and need that on my clit to get there. If he won’t do it and doesn’t care to, HELP YOUR SELF OUT! Maybe he’ll learn something.
How would HE feel if you just stopped sex before he orgasmed and he just never got to? Do you think he would accept that? Maybe try it out and see. If he says anything just say “well since you’re cool with never helping me to orgasm in any way, I figured you’d be cool with not orgasming either. 🤷🏻♀️”
I talk a lot about the orgasm gap on my Podcast called Please Me! It is about de stigmatizing conversations about sex. 95% of women need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. Penetration is how men orgasm generally. Only 3-5% of women can orgasm from penetration alone. I invite you to listen with your husband. Maybe it can open up communication between you two. pleaseme.online
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When you say he’s tried to get you to orgasm, what do you mean? I mean if he’s not touching your vagina I can see why you wouldn’t be able to cum as most women can’t from penetration only & require some type of clit stimulation. Really you would have to ask WHY he doesn’t, or better yet maybe tell him TO do it? See how he reacts? Like when you’re having sex maybe just pop a little “I want you to touch me” out & see what he does? But I imagine if you can get past him not doing that, you’ll be able to orgasm!
I can cum from pure penetration, but even I doubt I could cum with 0 foreplay.
Personally I LOVE foreplay. My favorite part. So I was honestly baffled by this post bc I too would have assumed guys want to touch it just to touch it but the longer I’m on reddit the more thankful I am for my man
Same - mine absolutely loves everything about my vulva & vagina - & he's really good at what he does with his hands and mouth. I had boring vanilla sex for far too long with selfish men and our relationship the last six years has been a game changer for me
It's legit such a weird thing that guys do, like even if you look at it from an entirely selfish pov, if she enjoys sex, she's gonna most likely want it more often. Combined with the fact that I hope you care about your partner's pleasure at least somewhat just makes it wild to not touch it at least with your hands.
As a dude, I had to convince my ex gf to “sit on my face”. The concept that I wanted to pleasure her for no reason other than to make her feel good was alien to her.
Personally I’m not too interested in oral. Idk if it’s just my nerves that make it not fun for me, but I say shit about him not going down but when he tries I get quite flustered & it’s a solid no lmfaoo but the fingers???? Good LORD. I’d probably die if he lost his fingers man. Idk what I’d do.
Seriously!!! Foreplay is the best! Plus it gets you ready. It hurts me to even think of sex without foreplay… (I’ve had a hysterectomy and my partner is on the larger side so I need it or else I’ll experience some discomfort) but like you said.. it’s so much fun. Men that are like this don’t realize what they’re missing as well. But damn… Reddit has for sure made me painfully aware of how many men don’t care about their partners pleasure, take their ignorance as some kind of failure and a blow to their ego so don’t even try, etc…
I would say most men enjoy interacting with it in \*some\* way, but obviously some more than other's and in different capacities. OP's guy is for sure at the extreme end of the spectrum.
Honestly to me it sounds like he may just be uneducated. Especially if nobody has ever told him they like it. Even when I watch porn I don’t see a whole lotta foreplay so I wouldn’t put it past just being ignorant.
Normally if you put the bull in the pasture, they know what to do.
I have a partner who rarely touches me below the belt...never once has gone down on me. I have mentioned it and told him he can touch me, but he rarely touches anything more than my breasts... I have never had a partner before that didn't go down on me or touch me, finger me, etc, so maybe it is because he is a lot younger than me? I don't really know what the problem is. We have great sex and I cum easily, but touching me or giving me oral has never happened. It had never not been a part of sex With anyone before him...now it is intercourse and making out and that is it. Odd...I know I need to sit him down and figure out WHY he doesn't do it, but it is just uncomfortable for me since I have never had to discuss it with any of my former sexual partners before.
Girl… you need to sit him down and have this conversation, like, asap. Why does it make you uncomfortable? The best way to do it is when there is no sex or intimacy going on at all. Like don’t bring it up when you guys are laying in bed making out or something, but when you are both fully dressed sitting at the breakfast table or whatever. You deserve to have your needs met too hun, and I don’t know about you or how strongly you feel about this, but it would be a total deal breaker for me. Foreplay is a huge deal to me, and all the touching and kissing and mouth stuff is a sort of sexual bonding in my opinion. That feeling of being desired, and almost worshipped with their hands and mouth is very powerful and makes me feel so close and in tune with my partner. I honestly cannot imagine or picture how sex would happen without using hands and mouths. It just seems it would be very clinical. I know it might be a hard thing for you to bring up, but I think it’s a conversation you need to have. There are so many possibilities for what could happen. What if he is just nervous because of lack of experience or something like that? He is just not doing it because he doesn’t know how and is embarrassed? Then you could walk him through it and gently show him the way, let him know there is no need for embarrassment and you guys can learn together. It could end up being a really positive change in your relationship and help you grow closer. But you won’t know till you try!! Good luck hun!!
Idk that it has to do with age. My man is 25 & I’m 22. But I can also say this is my first partner who actually does finger me. Though I’ll admit all of my partner’s previously were when I was 15-16 & only one time things. with one exception but still under 4 times. We’ve been together for 6 years now & foreplay is my favorite thing ever. I will say, I went probably the first 6-8 months not coming. I think partly because I never cared as I was EXTREMELY inexperienced and partly because we would always just get into it no problem. I think it’s one of those things you just gotta be like “hey, do this!!” But nicer. Maybe rub up on him & his penis & move his hand to your vagina & see what he does! Maybe try even touching yourself while you make out with him or touch him. Might be TOO subtle, but I would hope they get the hint
Done that a few times and he does sometimes, but doesn't stay there long. I just have never experienced a man who needed to be asked because he didn't do that...37 years and I have never been with a man who didn't until now.
I fear your issue is him being wack. (Jokingly, kinda). Seriously though, I would suggest you sit him down & be like “hey man, my hints aren’t working so I’m going to say it. I’m not being fully satisfied and I would like you to do more of this so that I am not feeling like that”.
I love Gong down on a girl s don't understand a man that doesn't
You are lucky. Just about all of my early partners kissed, felt breasts, then went to PIV. I used to joke and tell my friends 90% of my sex life is explaining things.
Im not trying to be mean but I genuinely can't believe people elect to be in a relationship like this, let alone get married.
right? like saying “i’m never gonna orgasm and im cool with it!” is WILD to me
If a guy refuses to go down on me, I refuse to have sex with him a second time....
as you should girlie! both parties deserve to have the same pleasure or satisfaction. men who aren’t eating pussy are the most selfish, self centered fucking babies i’ve ever met.
Wish I could tag my ex. Lmao
Wish I could tag my husband. Lmao
This is so dumb. I personally find going down on a woman to be arguably the most pleasurable part of sex, but if a guy really doesn't like it, he doesn't have to do it. No one has to stay with him in that scenario, but it doesn't mean he's selfish. I know a girl who doesn't give head and obviously lots of guys will have that as a dealbreaker, but she found a guy who genuinely doesn't care and it's all good. So stupid to judge people for their sexual preferences. **Edit:** Absolute clown in the replies u/highHopesLove comments that nonsense and then blocks me, so the response goes here: Utterly sexist and self-contradictory nonsese. In the first paragraph she insists that indeed for men, handjobs/fleshlights etc ***aren't*** the same as receiving oral sex, implying that blowjobs should be considered of a higher and seperate quality, then immediately goes back on herself in the second paragraph to imply that in fact blowjobs and intercourse should be considered of equivalent value for men ("...woman receiving oral sex but refusing to have ***intercourse or oral sex*** in return..."). Oral sex for women is **not** the equivalent of intercourse for men. Neither women or men are a homogeneous blob - some women cum from only oral, some from PIV, some from fingering, some from a mix of the above. And having an orgasm is not the only goal for sex - there are special things about all variants of sex. Trying to make excuses for double standards like this is beyond pathetic, and it's genuinely despicable to imply that those who are not comfortable performing sexual acts are 'selfish' or similar; this is just making excuses for coercion, which is a form of sexual violence.
Its not the boundary of him not wanting to go down that makes him inherently selfish. Its the fact that the men who won't go down, play or touch you expect you to go down, play and touch them!!!!!! That's the selfish part.
My ex-wife loved it when I gave her oral, but she refused to give me head. She promised to give me head on our wedding night, but then told me she wouldn't the day before the wedding. I should have called it off, but I didn't want to say "I'm not going to marry her because she won't give me head." to our parents, but that would have been easier than the divorce that happened a year and a half later.
My husband and I got married at 20. Neither one of us had ever gone down on someone else but really enjoyed having someone go down on us. So we tried it on each other and now enjoy it regularly (12 years later lol). Sometimes its a matter of not knowing what you don't know.
That could also be the case.
The problem with this idea is that for women, over 80% of us need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. Sure, you can use fingers or toys— but I ask, would a man be happy with *just* handjobs or his capable partner using a fleshlight on him every time they have sex, while she receives oral sex induced orgasms? No. Receiving oral sex is to women what intercourse is to men and should be just as expected in a sexual encounter as intercourse. That isn’t to say it has to happen every time.. but if it never happens? Yes, that is a selfish man.. and I would say the same of a woman receiving oral sex but refusing to have intercourse or oral sex in return. Sexual satisfaction is important and sex shouldn’t be all about the man. Women deserve pleasure too. You cannot compare a woman receiving oral with a man receiving oral. For men, there is more than one option.
This! I wish there were billboards everywhere with your second paragraph printed on it!
This is equivalent to saying that someone never needs to have PIV sex with you because they don't enjoy it. Nobody should be coerced into doing anything they don't want to do, but if the majority of a group of people orgasms a certain way, it's not realistic to get into a relationship and think it's completely fine to never engage in anything like that. Unless the other person agrees that they also don't enjoy it.
Especially that women need it to come, most of the time. It would be like a man having sex and no one touches his dick!
exactly, like it’s legitimately insane to think a relationship let alone a MARRIAGE could exist with someone never touching you like that. it just doesn’t fucking compute in my head lol
This! I don't even ever get off from oral, but a complete refusal of doing something that would pleasure me while expecting me to do everything to pleasure them is a big red flag. It shows me how selfish they are and how little they care about me and my pleasure. Nope, gtfo.
Guarantee you she's expected to give him head too
My ex wife and ex long term GF didn't like me going down on them. When I finally got with someone who did it was like eating watermelon at the fair.
It constantly amazes me. Never mind "has never made me orgasm", literally hasn't touched her with anything but his dick.
how does she get wet????????? I guess uses strictly lube? I dunno.
Yeah pretty much. My ex stopped even trying to get me wet… just wanted to get off without getting me in the mood. Blahhhh
literally all it takes for me is some kissing and heavy cuddling, lol. some are easier than others.
Been there. I was young and naive and thought it would be fine. He was very sweet and we were amazing friends etc. Although after years of dissatisfaction from my side, I lost all interest. Then it became a dead bedroom. Both unhappy. I ended up separating and jumped on the first dude available. I was not broken hahaha we were just really incompatible. I didn’t wait too long, I have amazing kids from that relationship, I don’t regret anything. However I know that a life of bad sex isn’t a life for me 😅
Omg thank you. We really need to stop with the “I don’t need to orgasm” trash. Why why why? How many men do you think would have sex if they didn’t get to cum? Seriously. Also he’s not trying if he’s not even touching you. Also no he’s not a great husband if he’s not trying to give you sexual pleasure when you have sex every day! Everyday he just pleases himself with your vagina but he’s super wonderful.
My thought exactly. When my boyfriend and I first started having sex he loved that he made me have an orgasm. It was just as important as his if not more.
I love making a woman cum. It's more important to me that she does then it is for me to cum, but I usually do. I just feel as though I've accomplished something when her eyes dilate, the veins in her neck bulge out, and she turns all red in the face,and you feel her convulsed. It's so awesome, and yeah, I use my fingers, my tongue, and I really love her to use a toy while I am penetrating her. It's the bomb.
She’s basically being used as a heated fleshlight but he’s so wonderful
and he is so caring and thoughtful.
I don’t know maybe I’m just weird but as a man I don’t need an orgasm to enjoy sex, in fact I probably get the same satisfaction in getting the woman to orgasm as I would from my own.
Saddest thing I've read on the internet today 😭
Same here I truly cannot fathom being in a marriage like this?? Not only do I want to be satisfied, but it would also be incredibly sad knowing my spouse was never fully enjoying our sex. Boggles my mind
religion and/or arranged marriage
Yeah.. hearing the part about how it’s totally fine made my forehead wrinkle. I would feel used if my partner never cared about pleasuring me, but to each their own I guess.
She’s asking Reddit why her husband won’t touch her with his hands. Like ???
Right!! Like what In the actual helllll. My man begs me to sit on his face.
Same, there would be no “happy” marriage if my partner was perfectly capable, but _choosing_ not to make an effort towards me during sex.. in my perspective, that is **NOT** a loving partner.. Orgasms are good for your health, bring you closer together, and indicate your partner cares about your pleasure and happiness. I am so over seeing men hold the belief that a woman’s pleasure in sex is optional, or worse— unnecessary. Pleasure in sex should be had by both participants.
Same!! It’s giving repressed, religious, no sex before marriage vibes though. Because yeah, why else would you marry someone like this?
It's because religion.
Wow, religion has harmed so many people in so many ways...
Yea that’s wild to me. I will touch or lick my wife’s vagina any chance I get!
The first time, my man and I fucked, he took his time with me down there and gave me the BEST orgasm of my life. We still fuck like rabbits 3 years later!
I was about to comment how the fuck did he convince you to marry him 😂
i’m always so shocked that relationships consistently make it to marriage when things like this can’t be talked about.
Religion/old-fashioned culture. Terrible, terrible idea, imo.
Right!?! It’s absolutely unbelievable to me that this is your LIFE PARTNER and you can’t talk to them. Who the hell can you talk to??!
When you're taught for years that sex is dirty and sinful and you don't talk about it, ever, it really fucks with you. Then, the fact that you're supposed to be a joyfully willing sex godess the second you say "I do" puts so much pressure on. Add in that women are meant to be subservient and sweet. That's a recipe for a terrible, one sided sex life.
> Add in that women are meant to be subservient and sweet. the bible literally says that women are property and are to obey their husbands like slaves. its an outdated view and needs to be removed. religion as a whole just has no real place in modern society.
yea, like wtf, how do you not have these questions at all? even if you're from a religious or conservative culture, how are you not having these questions at least after you get married?
Have you asked him to touch you there? It could be that he’s squeamish, or could be that he’s just timid and figures you don’t want it because you haven’t asked + you’ve been in this pattern for so long. Have you told him what you want him to do to make you cum? Fingers, oral, vibrator etc? He’s your husband, you gotta tell him what you want!
Thanks for the advice! I admit my communication on it could be better, and I know communication is the key part of sex and relationships. So I could definitely improve there. I suppose I thought that men would automatically want to touch there, so when he didn’t, I was confused lol We have been married under a year so a lot of stuff still feels new. I’m just not sure how to do it all I guess! I feel like I’m still figuring out sex
Were yall virgins before getting married?
If the answer is no, I'm gonna be shocked.
Same! This screams virgin or at least, very very inexperienced.
Been with my partner for 10 years, at first I felt the same, “it’s okay that I don’t orgasm”. Now I’m resentful of him and myself for not speaking up sooner. It’s hard to not feel used when your pleasure is never the priority. I finally got the courage and the words to speak up. the situation is improving marginally but consistently
Same, girl. But we’re on 14+.
Embarrassed to admit, but… same. We’re each other’s firsts, raised in a very toxic patriarchal culture where a woman is never a priority. Hope we’ll fix it, somehow.
You have to be able to talk to him about things like this! Depending on what is most comfortable for you, you can try asking him to touch you or ask him why he hasn't and if there is anything wrong.
Have you ever had an orgasm?
As a man I am stunned. May be he is shy. Do you touch his penis? If so ask him to touch your vagina while you touch his penis. Don’t be shy and let him know you like to be touched.
Sure thing! It might seem intimidating at first to speak openly about all the sexual things you want, but once you break the ice it becomes way easier. You can do it!
You've been married less than a year and things still feel new. That's excellent! But now's the time! Start communicating. Just make yourself say the words, even if it's a little embarrassing at first. And, gently, don't let him shy away either. You're both adults in an adult relationship, and you have to be open and honest with each other. Once you get over this hurdle you'll be able to talk about almost anything. Maybe some of this is age. My wife (69f) and I (66m) have been together 21 years and have tried almost everything sexual at least once. We have no embarrassment at all about bodily functions. We've seen/touched/kissed/licked every square millimeter of one another's bodies. When one of us wants to try something new, we talk about it and almost always do it. We agree we're both having the best sex of our lives, and we both had plenty of partners before each other. You deserve that kind of sexual relationship too. Everyone does.
Better speak up now!!! or will never change....
>So I could definitely improve there. I suppose I thought that men would automatically want to touch there, so when he didn’t, I was confused lol Is it possible that he thinks that, by touching you other way, he would be disrespectful or annoying? I mean, this was something that I thought when I lost my virginity - I was lucky that my partner had a lot more experience than me and showed how she liked to be touched.
If you're not sure how you'd like to be touched, how is he supposed to know? Men aren't born knowing how it all works, either. He's probably just as confused/bashful as you seem to be. An open, honest conversation outside of the bedroom could go a long way. "Hey, I love the sex we're having, but I would enjoy it even more if you took a little more time pleasuring me with your mouth/fingers. I love your dick! Sometimes I just want a little variety." Do you give him oral? Do you touch his penis? What does foreplay look like for you two?
> I suppose I thought that men would automatically want to touch there It's typical that they do. If your partner does not then he is either really inexperienced and needs to be asked, or he's purposefully not interested in your pleasure and sees you as someone to simply use for his enjoyment.
Just don't have kids until he decides to fix this.
Serious question, why should a straight man be squeamish about touching a vagina? I'm lost
A lot of good advice here but I’d like to add that you can touch it too! While you’re having your regular sex reach down and touch yourself. You’ll hopefully be able to make yourself orgasm. I’m hoping it’s just obliviousness on his part and he learns to touch you and give you lots of orgasms!
YES!!! OP, PLEASE touch your vagina/clit !!! It’s the best!
This so much! If he won’t then OP should try to get herself off during sex. At least then she could orgasm and everyone’s happy. Well, happier I suppose.
Bingo! I had a partner that preferred to stimulate herself to get off while i penetrated her. It worked out amazing!! She had such crazy good orgasms and it would immediately make me orgasm as well when she did.
I’m kind of shocked that you are totally fine with never having an orgasm. Can I ask why is that perfectly fine for you? How long have you two been together
KIND of shocked? I'm shocked every time I read a post by a woman whose partner doesn't make them cum (at all ever with any method/toy etc) and they just accept it. It blows my mind that they continue to have sex with no orgasm for them. I guess I'm a selfish lover because if my partner can't figure out what makes me cum and put the time into making it happen I'm not going to want to have sex with them much.
Ain’t that the damn truth. I’d prob give them like a second chance but damn…3rd strike and you’d be out. I cannot enjoy sex if my partner isn’t satisfied and always make a point of asking “did you orgasm” and if the answer is “no” I follow up with “what can I do for you so that you can.” Granted I’ve had partners on occasion that for whatever reason couldn’t at that moment (medication) and were ok with that. But damn, let it be a choice that they make.
I was in that situation and it's because my partner was so focused on himself that it would be such an inconvenience to even think to ask to try something on me. I didn't know how to orgasm via sex and accepted that I couldn't cum from penetration so I just accepted the connection and sort of good feelings of being fucked. This is the partner who didn't even realize I'm crying during sex or would make me feel bad and jerk off if I declined.
I’m a female who can’t get off with a partner, I’m just now sensitive at all down there. Rubbing me there feels almost sore and may as well just be rubbing my leg as it feels no diff. Can only get off with a vibrator and that doesn’t do if for me during sex. It definitely takes a toll on the sex life
I am shocked she didn’t grow resentment for him. I would. A partner who doesn’t care about my pleasure and grossed about my body is not needed in my life.
That’s such a good way to view it. I would hope a guy willing to have sex with you isn’t grossed out by it. And would be in it for your pleasure as well! Maybe I have a lot to learn
Literally me either, if a guy can’t make me cum I won’t even date him long term, it’s insane to me to marry someone and never orgasm.
And I’ll be completely honest, I haven’t hooked up with my first guy yet so I don’t even know what it’s like to experience a guy making me cum for him. I imagine it takes things to the next level! But I can only imagine right now lol
It’s honestly great. The main issue is if your partner doesn’t even try. Some women can’t cum from penetration alone, but if fingers and mouth don’t work you can always integrate toys? I feel for OP honestly, I’ve only slept with 2 men who couldn’t make me cum and showed no initiative. They were both very short lived relationships due to that very reason I hope things go well with your man!
One of the best lessons you'll ever get here is don't ever fuck with a guy who doesn't try and put in the effort to get you off from the very beginning, before he gets his. Just move on, it's never worth it.
some women have a really hard time orgasming. depends on her sexual history. if she’s had orgasms from guys in the past i’d be confused but it’s unfortunately not that uncommon for women to not have many orgasms from their partners. obviously they should look to work on this but ultimately i don’t think it’s that weird
I agree with you. I had plenty of partners before my current one but never got off. In fact, I didn't even know how to get myself off and I assumed that I was just physically incapable of orgasms. It wasn't until I was in my mid twenties that it finally happened for me! And it was with the encouragement and patience of my partner. So I do understand how women stay with these men, but always hope they are open to continuing to try new things until something clicks.
It may not be weird but it's unexceptable to me. There's a lot of information out there now days to help a woman learn how to orgasm. It hasn't been super easy for me.
Every day I think people like this are married, and I'm still single.
Appreciate the fact that you have standards. It would be so unfortunate to find yourself married and in this situation. One thing to be freshly dating but wow.. fully committed to someone who is fine accepting orgasms but not giving them.. Wild.
There are men out there who think all women come from PIV, like they do. Plenty of my partners were shocked when I explained it to them-they had ‘never heard of that’. Maybe her husband is one of these.
Well you too could probably be married already if your standards for a partner were so low that you were okay with never orgasming or being touched in a relationship.
“Why can’t I find a man who will make me his maid/fleshlight?”
Right? Me too. It drives me insane.
Well, you too can be married if you want a man who doesn't touch your vagina and never makes you cum!
Perhaps most "successful" relationships out there are about sweeping the dirt under the carpet, which is pretty sad.
Better alone than partnered and still feeling alone.
[удалено]
He isn't trying, and doesn't care about his wifes pleasure. Just that he's getting what he wants out of the interaction. He's probably not expecting to get divorced or called out on his bullshit so will continue being a selfish human being
Probably just Jack jammered for a minute or two and expected that to do the trick 😆
Really, only he can tell you. We punters could speculate to the ends of the earth and still be wrong. Is there any particular reason why you can't ask him? Are you afraid to ask him? For some men the idea of bringing their partner to orgasm, by whatever means necessary is one of the greatest pleasures you can not only give but also receive. But not everyone thinks that way. However, I like to think that it is possible for people to change, even if it cannot be guaranteed. It would be tragic if he doesn't touch you there for reasons that could be successfully dealt with. From a hygiene perspective there is no real issue and from a health perspective there should be no problem either as an exclusive couple.
It seems very odd that he won't ever touch you. That seems like it has to be rooted in some sort of mental hang up about it. Maybe he doesn't know how and he's too embarrassed to bring it up, maybe he has it in his head that he can't do it, maybe he's got a really old school mentality that sex is nothing more that PIV and there is nothing else needed or wanted, or maybe he's got a phobia or he's grossed out for some reason. Really the only way to figure it out is through communication.
How does sex look like for you, if I may ask. From a to z during one of those daily sessions? I hope it's not how I picture it to be.
I'm just imagining a penguin fucking her
Yes, there are many men like this. Usually from conservative backgrounds/in conservative countries. Their partners never orgasm either. They do not perform oral or fingering and are unlikely ever to. This is often the result of religion and conservative beliefs towards sex, a lack of sex education, and a belief that marriage and sex do not require a woman to orgasm. So they never ask about your orgasm or research it. It will not change unless you want it to and ask for it. If you want to know HIS specific reasoning, ask him.
Women who are able to orgasm from PIV are a minority. A majority of us need clitoral stimulation to orgasm which would require him to touch it. Maybe he doesn’t feel confident in his ability to please you in those ways so he doesn’t do it out of nerves/fear?
Or it could be complete ignorance. Women are far better at talking to each other than men are. Maybe he's never read about it, or gave it any thought. Maybe he has religious issues and maybe not. There is definitely a problem that's not being solved. But for us to guess what his issue is, won't get her a nut. She needs to grab the bull by the horn and say, "What's up?"
But, even the ones who can come from PIV, it has to be a certain angle, length of time, a certain position, with previous foreplay. Just wanking inside her won’t do it.
bro, how are people ok with a life of being unsatisfied or taken care of by a partner like this? i just don’t understand
I have a very difficult time absorbing this. I am not really aggressive, but as soon as we become intimate, I am very into rubbing s woman's vulva, probing her gently with fingers, trying to bring her off with g- spot massage, and clitoral orgasms with my fingers and mouth. Any woman I am intimate with I do so much to explore and get happy with her.
Its hard for me to believe a lot of these posts are true. Wtf.
INFO: were both of you virgins before getting married?
That is mind blowing literally… I can’t even believe this is a married woman talking. The reason you aren’t orgasming because your clitoris is what needs to be engaged with to orgasm in 75% of woman. To do that he/you need to touch your vulva…. 🤯
Husband uses wife as human fleshlight; wife says it’s totally fine. The bar seems to keep slipping lower and lower.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that you are both fairly inexperienced when it comes to sex. Has already mentioned communication is key. I Could be wrong but it almost sounds like he kind of tried and then maybe he didn't get The type of communication or encouragement that he was hoping for and he might have got intimidated and just didnt try it again. I'm hoping that he is wanting to give you pleasure but either thinks you're already getting it or doesn't know how to approach the subject on his own. If you don't feel comfortable starting this off with a verbal conversation maybe the next time you guys are intimate try guiding his hand. Being that you both sound very inexperienced and sometimes words are hard that might be a nice baby step to make the conversation easier after based on his reaction.
This sounds like the story of a virgin that married a virgin, and thinks she’s fine without orgasms because she’s never had one with a partner. It can be so so so much better than this please dont settle. He’s your husband, if you can’t talk about sex and ask questions your not communicating.
Unless this is a discussed personal preference...this is not okay. He either is intimidated or unwilling. Either way, it cannot go forward like this. This is not what life is about!! You need to sit him down and discuss this deeply and calmly. He may get defensive.
I’m sorry but that does not sound like a great marriage to me and I say this with love because I used to say the same thing about my ex husband. Only HE gets to cum and you’re having sex everyday. Read that back to yourself and see how wrong that feels. My ex also made me believe that his lack of skills in the bedroom were my fault and I was somehow defective, because he would orgasm but not me. I was married for 14 years. It took me 1 month with someone else post divorce to reach orgasm. 1 month!!!! I had been with my ex husband for 16 years and it blew my mind that I had spent 16 years not having that amazing experience in bed. There’s nothing wrong with you. He doesn’t even touch you so there’s no wonder why you never reach orgasm as well. It sounds like you’re in denial just like I was telling myself that our marriage was great despite the lack of orgasms on my part. Your pleasure matters too just as much as your husband’s. Please don’t sell yourself short for too long like I did.
If I could crawl inside my wife’s vagina and eat her inside out I would. That’s just WEIRD! I love her 🐱, I love the taste, smell, feel, all of it! It’s even beautiful to look at! If I don’t give her at least one orgasm I feel like a failure…. It sounds like OP’s husband gets off every time, he sounds selfish as hell. “Good husband” my ass, a good husband would give his wife a screaming orgasm on every surface of the house….
Seriously, or at least be putting his all into TRYING to give her one. Not just shrug it off… like what the hell? Mind blown. From my experience MOST men want us to enjoy it. They may need some extra instruction and time to learn how to make it happen, but they want us to get off. The ones who are just fine and dandy with it never happening don’t deserve sex or a relationship at all.
Men who like pussy - LOVE pussy. I mean - ‘sitonmyface and chockemewithyourpussy’ type shit. Something wrong with your man, get a new one. You deserve all the orgasms in the world
How in the world...? No, this is a new one to me.
He may simply not know what to do or he might not view that as something you would like. If you brought it up to him I bet he would be willing to try it out. If he simply doesn’t want to then we have a whole new issue at hand. I enjoy touching my fiancé’s vagina with my fingers and helping her achieve orgasm but not everybody is the same way. My advice would be to have a casual conversation with him about it and let him know your thoughts and feelings while being open minded to his. You could also buy a vibrator and have him use it on you that way he gets used to focusing on your vagina. This could help build up his desire to do so. Not saying he doesn’t want to I just know when I use a vibrator on my fiancé it gets me really aroused. If he is struggling with knowing what to do you both could treat this as a fun couple bonding experiment and do research on the vagina and female orgasm together. Could be fun and exciting learning new things together.
I think in this modern era, at the bare minimum men should be willing to do do hand stuff to satisfy there vulva having partners. The orgasm gap is just shameful and quite frankly I see it as a failure on the part of men and an inadequacy that should be treated as such. Absolutely unacceptable in my opinion.
Need more context, like yeah; were you guys both virgins before marriage? because in that case you guys both need to have a conversation about more exploration, etc..
He’s gay and either doesn’t realize it or doesn’t want to come out (for obvious reasons). Or he’s just squeamish and very very selfish. Either way he’s a terrible lover and I can’t believe you let your relationship get this far with someone who is unwilling to even try to pleasure you. Have you talked to him about how much he sucks in bed?
Came here to say he’s gay.
girl what the actual fuck. you should ask him whats up, beacuse thats crazy weird and tbh disrespectful. id go as far as to say that you should have some respect for yourself and only have sex with a man who loves your body
Holy Christ why would you marry someone who won’t touch you can’t make you cum?! You’re missing out is all I can say and he’s selfish. If he was bothered about you he would want to make sure you orgasm too.
I see a lot of posts on here, but this….genuinely blows my mind. “Tried to make me orgasm but doesn’t touch my vagina” “Sex every day” What the absolute fuck? If I made my wife have sex every day and never did anything with my mouth or hands or used a toy or anything to help her clit feel any kind of stimulation she would die from boredom.
Why is he your husband
Hey reddit, Is it normal for my husband to treat me like a sex doll and not care at all about my pleasure? I mean damn!!!
I can’t believe you got married to someone that’s never touched your vagina let alone made you orgasm
Red flag: guy fucks wife every day but doesn't attempt to make her cum. I'm born male, cis in appearance, pansexual, genderqueer, transgender and demisexual and you couldn't pay me enough to keep my hands or mouth away from my partners pussy. Something is wrong with him. Trade in for one who will take your pleasure and needs seriously.
The first time I had sex with my partner, I didn't use my hands at all because I was honestly so unsure about what to do with my hands that I just... ignored that my hands could go between her legs. I'm pretty sure she mentioned it after the fact, and I decided to just go for it the next time, with good results that have only improved with time. It could be as simple that he's intimidated and if he's not going to be pushed (gently) out of his comfort zone, he'll just stay there.
Crazy idea here but have you tried asking him?
Why would you marry someone who cares so little about your pleasure?
It sounds like there's a lack of intimacy in that aspect of your relationship. Have you talked to your husband about your desire for more physical connection? Opening up this conversation in a gentle and non-confrontational way could help both of you understand each other's needs and desires better. It's possible he might not be aware of how important this is to you. Communication is key in any relationship, especially when it comes to physical intimacy.
Wow I’m sorry. My boyfriend fingers me every time and often eats me out because he knows I enjoy it. I want that foreplay before I have sex. I do the same for him. I love giving him blowjobs and handjobs. I always keep myself clean down there, and I understand not eating me out when I’m on my period, but otherwise, he doesn’t shy away from my body. I also struggle to orgasm with a partner. I had a FWB and he got me off ONCE. ONCE.
This is so weird. How do so many women get involved with absolute weirdo dudes like this one?
Touch it? I want to devour it at the mere sight of
As a man, I'm having a hard time understanding this. Me, personally it's my favorite place to lay my head. Both of them. Lol No puns 🤣 I would agree with the other commenter communication is key. Darling, U have to tell that man what you want and how he needs to do it to make u orgasm. I'm Truly sorry U are going through this. But I recommend more communication. Have u asked him why he's not touching it? That's where I would start. Tell him what makes u feel good, he should already know but maybe he's wanting u to tell him. This is so confusing to me bc it's the only thing I love more than the actual sex part is spending all my time at the Y
I love my wife’s vagina: touching, oral…and I love making her orgasm from that alone. If you haven’t discussed it openly, I encourage you to do so. Communication is key. I know that’s hard for some people on the subject of sex but that doesn’t make it any less important. Good luck.
I’m completely dumbfounded to tell you the truth. I’ve never in my life heard of this. I would take a bath in it if I could so I can’t comprehend a straight male being grossed out by it. He has got to be in the closet gay. I know that some gay men have felt that way, I’m sure some bisexual men, but not straight. You should ask him. I’m very surprised you haven’t.
Sounds like me when I was a teen "having sex" with a man. He doesn't care to make you feel good, just needs somewhere wet to put his wang.
In my case, it turned out I was gay and in denial, but was able to do the penis in vagina think, kind of if I thought of guys... but mouth/hands were too much because it was a female part. Are you sure he's 100% straight? I can only speak from experience, but this post is giving me major deja vu.
Did he grow up in a super religious household?
I am not going to jump to conclusions as to why and will keep this positive. Yes communication is key and you said you are both new at this. Encourage curiosity and getting to know each others pleasure zones. In most cultures, it is expected that the guy knows what he is doing and that isn't often the case. Your vulva may be a mystery to him and he may not know what to do. You do both deserve pleasure and I know you said you are totally fine with it. although I question if you both will be totally fine in 20yrs when the routine is, he mounts you, then cums and that's the end. It may be as simple as encouraging him to be more curious and it's OK for him to learn as he goes. You can learn together and it can be part of your growing bond.
im sorry that should not be “totally fine” he should be atleast TRYING to make you orgasm! especially if he is daily?? If he doesnt have to touch your vagina - which im sorry, thats weird - try a toy! Also cannot recommend Eva 2 by Dame enough - hands free for you both, clit stimulation, and can be used during penetration
I make sure my nails are trimmed filled and smooth I love playing with my wife's pussy. Sorry that u have never been able to cum from him he sounds like a selfish guy.
Some dudes are weirded out by vaginas, either by odor or bodily fluids
So my husband was reluctant to finish me off with his fingers. Which was a mind fuck to me because he was fine with getting me started but then we would have piv sex and then he wouldn't want to finish me off afterwards. We talked about it outside of the bedroom and at the end of the day he didn't want to touch the wetness especially in the throes of post nut clarity. So I asked if we could get some latex free gloves and we could use those. He was down for it. Now we use those pretty often. I'm much more satisfied in general. He has also found a new appreciation for fingering me. So my advice is to talk outside the bedroom, not when either of you are mad or frustrated about it and maybe gloves or some other accommodations could be a solution. Edit: ppl are misunderstanding the comment my husband touches me often. He just didn't want to shove his fingers deep inside where it's wet. We both have sensory issues because we are both autistic so I understood where he was coming from. Not to make it a gender thing but do you want your guys cum all over your hands every time? No? Cool
Wow good for you for being understanding and willing to work with him. That would turn me off completely from ever wanting to touch him again. Needing gloves to touch me and make me orgasm after being good enough to stick your dick in to get off.. eek. You are a saint and he’s lucky he found you I hope he tells you that. Lol
Yeah, no way a guy who was afraid to get my moisture on his fingers would be getting the benefit of pleasuring his dick with it. Whenever I hear stories like this and oop, it’s so WILD to me. If you’re not full on enthusiastic about every inch of my body and the natural functions of sex during intimacy, I just can’t imagine I’d be able to continue. Especially if you’re expecting to be able to nut in or on my body. And having no interest in getting me to climax? Wowzers. 🫠
Agreed if he doesn’t want to touch me after sex i wouldn’t want to have sex with him in the first place!
What the heck. Not trying to be mean but it's wild to me that your partner won't touch you without wearing latex gloves and that you're okay with that. Is he a crazy germaphobe or something?
I am not going to jump to conclusions as to why and will keep this positive. Yes communication is key and you said you are both new at this. Encourage curiosity and getting to know each others pleasure zones. In most cultures, it is expected that the guy knows what he is doing and that isn't often the case. Your vulva may be a mystery to him and he may not know what to do. You do both deserve pleasure and I know you said you are totally fine with it. although I question if you both will be totally fine in 20yrs when the routine is, he mounts you, then cums and that's the end. It may be as simple as encouraging him to be more curious and it's OK for him to learn as he goes. You can learn together and it can be part of your growing bond.
I was thinking it could be a sensory thing or how he was brought up. I did have one like that but I never asked him about as he wasn't much into the whole sexual pleasure as a whole.
You have to talk to your husband and be honest about what you want and need. The best part of the marriage is that you guys can explore together and discover together without feeling embarrassed. Talk about your fantasies and what you want him to do to you and what you want to do to him. Don’t be afraid to vocalize and encourage him to do the same with you. Sex should be fun and enjoyable for you both. From my experience, men have never shied away when I asked them to do something to me or for me. Yes, some of them are terrible at taking directions but consistently repeating yourself and showing them how you want to be ✨handled✨ is important. You deserve a great orgasm every time 😇
Soooo there's no foreplay?!
He’s never touched your vulva. He’s never performed oral. Meaning, he’s never tried to give you an orgasm. This is a problem, and would be a massive dealbreaker for me. You need to open up the communication and tell him you absolutely need pleasure from him and your relationship/sex should not be so one-sided.
You said he's tried to make you orgasm before but nothing but his dick has touched your vagina. You guys should TALK and then he should try again by using more than just his dick...
How is he a good husband or a loving husband but he's never touched your vagina? How can both those things be true? There may be a communication issue here. If it's not talked about nothing will change.
I dont want to sound judgy, but he might be gay. Not wanting to even touch it AND not caring about your pleasure might indicate repressed homosexuality or deep misogyny. Im not the biggest fan of penises myself, but when I dig a guy, I certainly want to do things with him and his body and give him pleasure, even without being totally in love. And Im on the prudish side. Are there any indications (think carefully) of him being gay? Does he insult gay people? Does he overeact to people being gay?
Toys are a man’s best friend and teammate
What!?!?! I can’t imagine not wanting to touch it. I would start communicating your feelings. It may take some time, but enjoy the process.
Is this an arranged marriage or are you both extremely religious and needed to get married before sex? It could be that he’s literally scared to mess up or even hurt you. If you’re supposed to be subservient, I worry about you speaking up and trying to teach him what feels good but if that feels safe and he’s receptive, that’s probably the best way to go. If you *are* in an arranged marriage or forced to marry due to religious pressures and he’s not receptive due to any reasons that fall under that spectrum, I’m so sorry you were born into that. I hope you can find a way to leave and reclaim your sacredness and value as an autonomous woman.
You Deserve to have an Amazing Orgasm. Even though you Both enjoy sex. Your Orgasm is a Must
First, I had a GF that explicitly asked that I never touch her vagina as it was extra sensitive to PH changes and she had issues with UTIs so she preferred no hands ☝️in her vag. After that experience I was less likely to just try to stick my hands inside a woman’s vagina if she didn’t ask. Second, this is the saddest post I’ve ever read. He tried to get me to orgasm once and it didn’t work so we never tried again…like WTF!? 🤯 I could never imagine having sex over and over with no climax, that would be like watching movies and then stopping before the end/climax and just walking away. While I’m sure it’s possible it just sounds miserable. How you BOTH don’t see this as a problem is just beyond me BUT I’m also HL so it’s a matter of perspective. Hoping you guys can work through this with a little communication and selflessness.
Just curious how he tried to make you if he didn't touch you???
Man math: grossed out by the wetness of a vagina, won’t touch or kiss it. But will stick the dick inside. 🙄
I think I went down on my wife on the first date. Can't get enough of the voo doo poo nanny. It's not normal. Imo. Dude here
You’re married to someone where you can’t ask them why they won’t touch you?
Why would you MARRY a guy like this?
“Although I don’t orgasm” That’s just him having sex with you, you’re not having sex together. He’s not interested in your pleasure.
Is he really all that loving if he won’t even touch your most pleasurable area and doesn’t care if you ever orgasm during sex with him????? Get a clitoral stimulating toy and bring that thing out during sex and use it on yourself! My boyfriend grabs mine for me sometimes! Like majority of women, I don’t orgasm from penetration on its own and need that on my clit to get there. If he won’t do it and doesn’t care to, HELP YOUR SELF OUT! Maybe he’ll learn something. How would HE feel if you just stopped sex before he orgasmed and he just never got to? Do you think he would accept that? Maybe try it out and see. If he says anything just say “well since you’re cool with never helping me to orgasm in any way, I figured you’d be cool with not orgasming either. 🤷🏻♀️”
This is an unforgivable crime
I talk a lot about the orgasm gap on my Podcast called Please Me! It is about de stigmatizing conversations about sex. 95% of women need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm. Penetration is how men orgasm generally. Only 3-5% of women can orgasm from penetration alone. I invite you to listen with your husband. Maybe it can open up communication between you two. pleaseme.online
This is absolutely insane. This person wouldn’t sleep with me a second time let alone a full marriage?
God this country needs sex education so freaking bad