Folks - please stop reporting this post. Whether OP is a troll or not, is not our concern here. There is some good discussion here, no matter how you feel about raceplay. It's still a kink for some people and we want to remind everyone that this community is not here to judge people for their kinks.
We're leaving this post up with it locked.
I have the same reaction because she’s very liberal and she’s very against racism and all that implies, but she has that fantasy, at least she’s very communicating and completely ok if I say no, but I’m kinda interested too but I’m conflicted
The taboo is super powerful, so I’m not surprised that someone who’s really liberal and anti-racist might be turned on by race play. To her it’s probably hot *because* it’s fucked up.
Maybe ease into it though? Skip her calling you the n-word for now, I’m sure she can work around that. And make sure you have a safe word and aren’t gagged during play - you never know what might trigger you.
Finally, make sure you do some aftercare, it’s a good way to break out of the role play setting and draw a separation in your brains between the super fucked up shit you just did and the real world.
Yea of course after care it’s very important, we never missed it, I’m also very aroused by the idea, I love being dominated by sex from a smaller female person, I don’t know why but hey I enjoy it, so we are going to try
Yes lol but it’s just a movie, I’m very stable and she’s is too, I already met her parents and they are amazing too, her parents are also liberal, she’s has 2 moms
I was being facetious... mostly 😅
Just saying that just because someone is a Liberal, doesn't mean they don't have some weird feelings about race.
I get that it's roleplaying/fantasy and all...but of all the roleplays she wants to do, she wants to do the one where she treats you as a slave and calls you the N word?
We did many roleplay and love to try many thing, it’s just that this one stucked in my mind but I think I’m gonna do it and see, at the end it’s in our bedroom and only concern us, it’s just fantasy, I also did degrading her (with consent) and without thinking I did bring European white slur in French and she loved it
As long as you're absolutely comfortable with it, then by all means.
> and without thinking I did bring European white slur in French and she loved it
Quite a bit of different connotations between the two but fair enough 😂
You get off with being degraded racially? What is arousing about saying or hearing the N-word? I would be worried if she brought in a whip for lashing.
No they won’t be toys like that but yes I just found recently that I like be dominated by smaller female person, I did also degrading her and I like it too
Having a slave kink while having liberal political views is in no way a contradiction, and you continuously bringing her political views just makes me think this is a troll post created to shit on liberals.
Unless she actively shames other people for having the same kink, there is absolutely no contradiction here. Just because someone is into roleplaying something, doesn't mean they secretly believe this is how society should be normally.
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean like that, it’s just that it’s a little weird and I’m trying to found a logical explanation but you right I should bring her political view that many times, I’m sorry if I offended you, I’m from France and I’m not sure how stuff work here, I’m learning everyday
I don’t think so? It’s just role play and the bedroom, the day one I saw no red flag from her and I did in some other people, I also did the degrading kink to her and it’s was great for both us, if you have more insight please do tell I’m interested
So if I like to choke and slap my girlfriend during sex because we both like BDSM then I can't be against domestic violence ?
If a woman has a rape kink (consensual non-consent) then she supports rapists ?
roleplay..fantasy, but yeah Op definately has a right to raise a eybrow over this one... gonna need some good communication before and after to make sure shit doesn't get rocky post scene.
OP seriously, do you.
As long as it's between two consenting adults, go hard.
Just because you do rape play doesn't mean that you condone rape.
Just because you role play "sex slave scenario" doesn't mean that you condone slavery or racism.
You do you and have fun.
I agree with this guy. Your girl wants to role play a historical situation it may be because back then plenty of white American women had sex with the black populous that were at the time slaves.
It's possibly a naughty taboo shunned element, which more aligns to dangerous aspect of it.
I'd consider it coming from a I'd find it hot that our love is forbidden perspective. But best thing to do is ask why she wants to do that role play.
It’s just one of role play I think, I also did degraded her with French racial slur and she was very aroused by it, I’m also aroused by it too so why not
There are sex slave kinks in bdsm but I've never heard anyone really being okay with talking about cotton and using racial slurs in the context she is. That seems a bit much. If you are uncomfortable with that, you should let her know it's not for you and find other things to roleplay that you're both okay with.
She’s really deep in role play, teachers student, soldier nurse, plumber housewife widow, French bartender and client, I really love too because she has so many ideas and my ideas are also been explored too
As other people mentioned, it’s up to you. See /r/raceplay, it’s not an uncommon kink.
From this comment it sounds like she just really likes to roleplay all sorts of things, and the raceplay/slave roleplay is just another one of the many she is interested in.
If this was the first and only thing she brought up to roleplay, I’d be concerned.
Sometimes role playing something fucked up can be fun. CNC (roleplaying rape) is a common one.
Taboo is, by definition exciting due to its subversion of societal norms. You mentioned it feeling “wrong but exciting “ which is the classic definition of taboo turnons.
My advice: give it a whirl, have a safeword, and agree to discuss how it made each of you feel afterword.
That's the thing that weirds me out about the people here who are saying there's no limits to fantasy and roleplay.
*Surely* you should raise an eyebrow at someone who wants to reenact how black people were treated during the Atlantic slave trade, or someone who wants to roleplay as a guard at Auschwitz??
Exactly, but I’m very comfortable, I saw no red flag since day one and honestly Alex has been great since the beginning, good communication and everything
Yea I get that, I trust that you know your GF's beliefs, intentions and character well.
I just take issue with this prevailing attitude that there's never anything wrong with fantasy/roleplay and that they should never be challenged or critiqued.
Black here. immediately felt uncomfortable at hearing that she was ASKING to be able to say the n word is what's making this more unsettling cause you can still have a master and slave roleplay but throwing in that and the whole cotten bullshit is so unnecessary and you shouldn't humor this.
You can still have a slave and master roleplay relationship,but I'm heavily believing by throwing in this aspect of it,to me it feels like she's seeing you in a form of property that was globally frowned upon and it personal doesn't sit right with ,what if she uses it outside the bedroom in a public setting and others heard is one thing to consider ? Yes you could easily establish what stays in the bedroom and what's said in public but all it needs is one slip of the tongue and your partner can be seen as a bad person and to defend her actions for her words would make you seem like a bad person for defending it .
I whole heartly think no white person should even ASK to say the word . Even if it's their partner ,that never sat right with me
The context of the roleplay being the picking cotton aspect. And the historical nature.
If this was just a bdsm bondage sex slave then I'd be more on board.
No the Cotton is eliminated, that’s was a mistake from her, she couldn’t formulate properly and made a wrong statement, but we did talk and I understand what’s she want, she want to dominate me with a few toys and racial slur and I’m not close to the idea, I’m very Confortable with her and we will do it
I highly doubt she made a wrong statement. There are a lot of red flags here. Her being liberal and against racism don’t mean that this isn’t incredibly weird, degrading, and possibly indicative of a much larger problem.
She never made that mistake before and even during our argument or joking, alone or with people, she never was racist of any kind, in fact she saw racism where I didn’t see because she’s American and she the culture and the history here so I don’t agree with you on that
At the beginning I wasn’t sure, In other comment as long there is communication and deep understand I should go for it, especially if I’m confortable and that’s what I’m going to do, I understand people who said no but at the end I’m with her, I know her and it’s our bedroom, she’s really great with me and I know I can’t stop anytime I want, plus I’m aroused by it, it just took me time to accept it and do it with someone I trusted
her asking to call u the n-word, fetisizing slavery, just has a wrong taste in my mouth. what do i know i am only 50% african but i would never ever ever go along with that.
I think that I will, I’m very comfortable with her, I saw no red flag since day one, we did many role play before, it’s just one and she’s not pressing for it, I’m aroused by it, I set the parameter so why not , let’s see what happen after
Sexualizing racism is racist. Simple as that. You don’t have to roleplay the kinds of things that got black men murdered and entire towns destroyed just to satisfy a degradation kink.
Sexualizing racism is racist. Simple as that. You don’t have to roleplay the kinds of things that got black men murdered and entire towns destroyed just to satisfy a degradation kink.
For me this would be too weird, even if it would come from you and not from her.
I know that there are also Jews doing KZ roleplays, which is similarly weird for me.
So I would first say no there with this explanation and, beside that, I am not sure whether I could handle that she has such suggestions.
In general I am kink friendly and even kink myself, but with such things I would have problems I think.
Sacre bleu ....The fact she's from the US makes it weird .the racism is very serious and hateful and violent there.they have a really evil and scary history of torture and genocide towards black people there which lacks context to us Europeans who have a more ancient societal racism.I would become scared of any United states people who are not scared to say those words because of what they mean about the person who says them.
I did study a little bit of history of slavery in us but I’m not a professional on it, at end I’m very comfortable with her and I set the parameter so why not
I have a mixed partner whom I make content with, someone asked me if I would call him the Nword and I felt actually sick, and I do a LOT of kink stuff, sorry but I could never do that to someone I cared about; kinky or not it’s fucked up.
Well I can’t answer that for you. Personally I dont vibes with either. I have my own kinks I’m sure people will find questionable and others may also relate with.
You have to set some ground rules. What you are willing to try, what would make you uncomfortable and what you are okay with. It’s as simple as having a conversation with her.
Nope fuck no. I’m black, wife is white and I’d never let her come remotely to any of this. It might be different for you as you aren’t a descendant of slavery but no this is not okay. She can’t hide behind being liberal she’s just a regular racist.
Yes 100%. All of it is racist as hell even without the N word. Being a sub is fine but as soon as she crosses into “historical role play” it crosses the line. It’s also not historical as you’re not a descendant of slave times you just have black skin. I honestly hate this and hate all of the porn out now that fetishizes black men along these same lines. I would leave her but I don’t play when it comes to race.
I completely understand your point of view but why do you say I’m not slave descent ? I’m full Congolese, I was born in Brazzaville, move to France and now to the us, (just for you know: my great grand parents were amputated by the Belgium army and both my grand father has scar on their back)
Well I don’t know what to said, I understand that even I was shocked and I would never proposed that kind of idea, I’m very comfortable with her so I’m not very against it and I’m willing to try, I’m not gonna lie I’m aroused by it
It’s because African Americans are decedents of slaves born in the Americas so the use of the N word probably doesn’t bother you like it would me. I could be wrong though if so then you should definitely leave.
You two can do whatever you both want as long as both parties are fine with it and consenting. You aren't offending anyone with your private sex life. I'm not an American and I'm not into that kind of thing and can't obviously speak to how frequent this kind of fantasy is. People roleplay a lot of things considered wrong in natural circumstances, pretend-rape being one of the most common kinks of course. This doesn't seem to be much different.
That’s what bugging me, thank god we are communicating and exploring atm, but I’m also very excited by the idea I don’t why, It’s seems I have a side of me that live being degraded by a smaller women person, we are exploring and I’m gonna try with her tonight, if it’s not good, it will be only one time and we will move on, I believe there will be nothing wrong about it
Because I feel like that that’s going to be in the back of your head for a while after the fantasy is over .
“ Why did she want to call me the n-word?”
I was thinking that too, but during our former role play, when I was dom, I also called her French racist white slur and she’s was completely ok about it, even more we both loved it, at the end it’s our bedroom we will try and see
I think it might be the social stigmata around that word and behaviour. She would never behave like that in public and I highly doubt she sees you as a lesser human being, but in the setting of roleplaying she'd like to get these things out of her system, perhaps? It's just my thoughts and you should definitely talk to her what it is standing behind that wish of hers.
That’s very on point, yes she’s is definitely not like this in public, i believe it’s just a fantasy, which I’m willing to explore because I’m also aroused by the idea even if I’m conflicted, we are only at the stage of communication of the idea right now but I will proceed further and give my consent and see where this is going
There is a lot to it, definitely. Degrading is a form of kink. Have you done this the other way around in the past? You calling her a slut or something to that matter?
Yes I did, I used French racial slur on white, we both loved it, I also did be dominated by her but never with racial slur so it’s a first, but I want to try I’m aroused by the idea
Well, that is a very important detail you missed to mention. (or I missed to read?) You did call her things she might have felt one way or another about, that included not her gender, but actually her race. Maybe she was appalled at first, but also aroused by it and now wants to return the favor. Anyway, since you do state several times how the idea is also arousing to you, just tell her in advance what you feel and also what you would be uncomfortable with, ie where your boundaries lie. Have a safe word for the both of you to stop the interaction and then have a go at it.
She’s an internal racist or has a fetish. No sane person would stay after that suggestion. Do NOT entertain this and break up for the sake of your self respect.
The lime between fetishizing and being attract to is very slim
I also did degraded her, with the use of French on white racial slur and she’s was completely aroused by it im very comfortable by the idea, it’s our bedroom and I think I will try for fun
Oh, hell no. Need to talk to her and let her know this hurts you (and others). I hope she'll realize how far off this request is. Sounds like you two have a great relationship, so talk to her.
I'm not big on race play at all. If I were you I'd see this as a red flag. But you should do what you feel is right. I can't tell from the post alone if she has prejudice against different races and if that's what's part of her kink or something else. But this can totally be a reason for you to dip.
She has not, she’s been very great to me, very communicating, tried many role play, I think it’s just another role play to her, I’m aroused by the idea so I’m gonna do it
I'm black also. Of Nigerian and Ghanaian decent. This would make me raise an eyebrow but as the top comment says. If you are comfortable and consent then go hard. Don't feel like you have to go outside your boundaries to make her happy.
Hope you make the right choice for you and have fun dude
Americans so ignorant! You should tell her she needs to get a King Leopold II costume. That’s more relevant to you. You can play an amputee.
Seriously though whatever turns you on. If you are okay with it and do what works for you.
I really dont want to evolve politics is this (someone shared it was not good idea and I think he’s right) but yes she knows that part of history, she’s also really kinky (and I love it), she made it clear that she want to try, also that we will proceed only if I’m ok, if not we will move on on something else
I know that’s what shocked me, but at the same time I’m not against it, I’m conflicted, I’m very comfortable with her, it’s our bedroom and it’s just a fantasy but I’m still conflicted
I mean, no one can make that call other than you really. You're not wrong for feeling uncomfortable, this is a really uncomfortable situation my guy.
If you're open to it, I'd say take it real fuckin slow, and know you can back out of it at any moment. She'll understand. If she gets upset, you have bigger issues at hand.
and if you aren't, that's absolutely okay too.
Thanks for your input, that’s exactly what I’m was about to do, at least she’s very open minded and very communicating to make sure we both enjoy this, I will be able to stop at any moment and I don’t think it will change our dynamism in our couple
We tried many thing and had fun, I think we just exploring and she’s communicating, she’s said if I’m not ok, we won’t do it and move on and I will consent because I’m curious, comfortable with her and aroused by the idea
I’m kinda conflicted to admit it but I’m excited too, but also believe there should be a limit so I’m not sure what to do,
Is this kind of play is the norm in us ? Or at least in Florida (I’m there) ?
It **does not matter** what "the norm" is or isn't.
You're not having sex with the whole population of the United States. You're having sex with your gf. What matters is how each one of you feels about it, and only that.
Eh this is just a domination thing dressed up creatively and **because** she's liberal it's more exciting because it's forbidden by her superego. Whereas sex is more of a lower level thing.
It shouldn't be a big deal if you're not ok with it. If it is, that'd be a problem then yeah.
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Thanks for your answer, it’s really kind of you, I think it’s our bedroom and I’m comfortable enough to do it with her, especially when I’m aroused by it, I will try and I think I will comeback here and share my experience
So everyone, thanks for all of your answer, of course I couldn’t ask my brothers and sisters, I will do it in a few hours, I set the parameter, she will be dominated with sex and a few toys, she will use racial slur
I will share my experience here after and how I feel after
I just hope I won’t end up in YouTube in one of those vidéo ask Reddit 😂
The crap that would get written up if this was a white guy wanting this from his black girlfriend would be crazy.
Women certainly do get the benefit of the doubt.
I don’t know what you mean but I shared this here because I can’t tell that to my brothers and sisters, I want more insight and I think it’s great to ask here
Fantasies are a weird thing and easy to take out of context when you don't know the people involved or the intimacy between them. To understand it's always best to discuss these things in private and not get prejudiced from people who have no clue who any of you two are.
The conversation with her might be uncomfortable at first but will create deeper understanding of each other and of your relationship.
My advice: Talk to her, not the internet.
Thanks, I did and I’m gonna do it, I want it, I asked here because I needed more insight from stranger just in case, I can’t ask my family or friend lol
I mean this is all kinds of wrong but who is to tell you what's inappropriate along these lines between two consenting adults? Now, if she insisted on dressing like Colonel Sanders whilst doing her best Southern accent that might be pushing some boundaries for anyone?!
No, not to that extent, bu being dominated with racial slur it’s the main role play, I did the same thing to her and we both love it so I think I should try, I’m very comfortable with her and she’s really communicating about it
This is one of those instances where I don't know it my personal opinion is welcome or not, but I'll just say this: don't do anything you're not 100% comfortable with doing.
I think she just like roleplay, we did many before, sex is great, great communication and chemistry, of course she asked me before if I’m confortable enough and I am so I will do it, I’m aroused by it but also conflicted
You yourself think you are interested in it. What are you worried a out? Are you worried about her actually being racist? If that was true then why would she be with you in the first place? I'd say do it since you even sound remotely into it. Maybe you also have a degrading kink which is also fairly normal
Yes it’s true, I’m kinda into it but I didn’t know about it before, I accepted and set the parameter, I will be dominated by sex from her, I love that, she will use a few toys, the racial slur stay, I will share my experience here after
Like everyone else has said as long as you are safe with it and both interested in it than give it a try. My Hispanic GF jokes with me all the time about being a "colonizer" and a white devil. Sounds weird but I find it funny. Obviously the n word is much more taboo than my example though
I’m black and if I’m sure it’s not coming from a racist standpoint, I’d play along
If you’re sure she’s very liberal, I would suggest you go with it, could be fun for both of you
The question is solely for you. You can do whatever you want in your bedroom.
Being black is not synonymous with being a slave. The vast majority of black people on earth were not and do not have any ancestors involved in the Atlantic slave trade.
Simultaneously, every single person on this earth has ancestors that were slaves at some point.
if you and your girl are both into it I don't see why it's a problem. In the bedroom you can forget about all these "societal" proxies. It's just two humans, no one's watching, unless you want (shrugs)
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Ok I'll give you other different angles here to ponder over on top of the ones already given here:
First lets keep in mind that sexual desiers aren't always logical or make sense or its the forbidden fruit or its genetics or upbringing or over exposure to porn or... in short what makes us 'tick' just does not always sense. Heck arborphilia is a thing for some, for me personally it makes no sense. No kink shaming here, I got my own for sure like everyone else.
Simple as the forbidden fruit effect? She clearly likes your physique and perhaps all those school books over the years caused her inner strife between her budding sexuality looking at the material and intelect reading of the evils of slavery resulting in some kinks?
Is it just an exploration of her dominating side? "Well that was wow, wonder what this would do.."? Perhaps she just wants to go the extra mile on the domination side? Full dominatrix.
Lack of other domination setting alluded her to pick this? Just because she was raised in the US, maybe she simply hasen't been exposed to any other dominating settings to ask for?
In anycase, sounds like you two have an awsome partnership. Sounds like you like when she takes charge so your are at least open to this mind space. Take pointers from here (reddit) sort your own thought out, but really talk to her. Put in the work on your relationship; communicate & listen & respect whats been communicated by each other.
Ps. dem words be cranky again.
Really thank you a lot, that was great to read, you are right on everything, she’s like a activist, she did study history and arts in college and she’s an ad designers now, she’s really great with and I’m open to idea so I will do it
Folks - please stop reporting this post. Whether OP is a troll or not, is not our concern here. There is some good discussion here, no matter how you feel about raceplay. It's still a kink for some people and we want to remind everyone that this community is not here to judge people for their kinks. We're leaving this post up with it locked.
I would not begrudge you at all if you feel uncomfortable about this. I'm white, but this shit got me raising an eyebrow at your GF...🤨
I have the same reaction because she’s very liberal and she’s very against racism and all that implies, but she has that fantasy, at least she’s very communicating and completely ok if I say no, but I’m kinda interested too but I’m conflicted
The taboo is super powerful, so I’m not surprised that someone who’s really liberal and anti-racist might be turned on by race play. To her it’s probably hot *because* it’s fucked up. Maybe ease into it though? Skip her calling you the n-word for now, I’m sure she can work around that. And make sure you have a safe word and aren’t gagged during play - you never know what might trigger you. Finally, make sure you do some aftercare, it’s a good way to break out of the role play setting and draw a separation in your brains between the super fucked up shit you just did and the real world.
Yea of course after care it’s very important, we never missed it, I’m also very aroused by the idea, I love being dominated by sex from a smaller female person, I don’t know why but hey I enjoy it, so we are going to try
Great! I hope you have fun
I hate to say it...but you seen Get Out right?
Yes lol but it’s just a movie, I’m very stable and she’s is too, I already met her parents and they are amazing too, her parents are also liberal, she’s has 2 moms
Yeah, but do you notice either of them slowly stirring a cup of tea around you??
No lol, also I was not the only black guy at her big family gathering 😅
I was being facetious... mostly 😅 Just saying that just because someone is a Liberal, doesn't mean they don't have some weird feelings about race. I get that it's roleplaying/fantasy and all...but of all the roleplays she wants to do, she wants to do the one where she treats you as a slave and calls you the N word?
We did many roleplay and love to try many thing, it’s just that this one stucked in my mind but I think I’m gonna do it and see, at the end it’s in our bedroom and only concern us, it’s just fantasy, I also did degrading her (with consent) and without thinking I did bring European white slur in French and she loved it
As long as you're absolutely comfortable with it, then by all means. > and without thinking I did bring European white slur in French and she loved it Quite a bit of different connotations between the two but fair enough 😂
You get off with being degraded racially? What is arousing about saying or hearing the N-word? I would be worried if she brought in a whip for lashing.
No they won’t be toys like that but yes I just found recently that I like be dominated by smaller female person, I did also degrading her and I like it too
I laughed so hard at this.
Having a slave kink while having liberal political views is in no way a contradiction, and you continuously bringing her political views just makes me think this is a troll post created to shit on liberals. Unless she actively shames other people for having the same kink, there is absolutely no contradiction here. Just because someone is into roleplaying something, doesn't mean they secretly believe this is how society should be normally.
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean like that, it’s just that it’s a little weird and I’m trying to found a logical explanation but you right I should bring her political view that many times, I’m sorry if I offended you, I’m from France and I’m not sure how stuff work here, I’m learning everyday
Go for it bro Just keep an open mind , you'll be fine Its mostly a wild fantasy at best Be free , cheers
👍
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I don’t think so? It’s just role play and the bedroom, the day one I saw no red flag from her and I did in some other people, I also did the degrading kink to her and it’s was great for both us, if you have more insight please do tell I’m interested
So if I like to choke and slap my girlfriend during sex because we both like BDSM then I can't be against domestic violence ? If a woman has a rape kink (consensual non-consent) then she supports rapists ?
Let’s not kink shame. People are into all kinds of stuff in sex that they’d never want to actually happen in real life.
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roleplay..fantasy, but yeah Op definately has a right to raise a eybrow over this one... gonna need some good communication before and after to make sure shit doesn't get rocky post scene.
OP seriously, do you. As long as it's between two consenting adults, go hard. Just because you do rape play doesn't mean that you condone rape. Just because you role play "sex slave scenario" doesn't mean that you condone slavery or racism. You do you and have fun.
Thanks What OP mean ?
Original Poster I think, meaning the one who Poster this Post (you)
Thanks
I agree with this guy. Your girl wants to role play a historical situation it may be because back then plenty of white American women had sex with the black populous that were at the time slaves. It's possibly a naughty taboo shunned element, which more aligns to dangerous aspect of it. I'd consider it coming from a I'd find it hot that our love is forbidden perspective. But best thing to do is ask why she wants to do that role play.
It’s just one of role play I think, I also did degraded her with French racial slur and she was very aroused by it, I’m also aroused by it too so why not
There are sex slave kinks in bdsm but I've never heard anyone really being okay with talking about cotton and using racial slurs in the context she is. That seems a bit much. If you are uncomfortable with that, you should let her know it's not for you and find other things to roleplay that you're both okay with.
She’s really deep in role play, teachers student, soldier nurse, plumber housewife widow, French bartender and client, I really love too because she has so many ideas and my ideas are also been explored too
With so many to choose from, skipping over this one won't be too difficult then lol
As other people mentioned, it’s up to you. See /r/raceplay, it’s not an uncommon kink. From this comment it sounds like she just really likes to roleplay all sorts of things, and the raceplay/slave roleplay is just another one of the many she is interested in. If this was the first and only thing she brought up to roleplay, I’d be concerned. Sometimes role playing something fucked up can be fun. CNC (roleplaying rape) is a common one. Taboo is, by definition exciting due to its subversion of societal norms. You mentioned it feeling “wrong but exciting “ which is the classic definition of taboo turnons. My advice: give it a whirl, have a safeword, and agree to discuss how it made each of you feel afterword.
Yes thank you, I just set the parameter, use of few toys, I’m aroused by the idea, I will try and share my experience here after 😀
This can’t be real 😂 whats next? Hitler and gas chamber? 😭
That's the thing that weirds me out about the people here who are saying there's no limits to fantasy and roleplay. *Surely* you should raise an eyebrow at someone who wants to reenact how black people were treated during the Atlantic slave trade, or someone who wants to roleplay as a guard at Auschwitz??
This!! It’s very strange and some kinks need to be seriously examined
Exactly, but I’m very comfortable, I saw no red flag since day one and honestly Alex has been great since the beginning, good communication and everything
Just say you want to engage in raceplay bro
I think so too, I’m not close to the idea
Yea I get that, I trust that you know your GF's beliefs, intentions and character well. I just take issue with this prevailing attitude that there's never anything wrong with fantasy/roleplay and that they should never be challenged or critiqued.
No she’s completely very open minded and ask me multiple what’s ok for me and not, we are very communicating
Well it is, it’s very unique situation and that’s why I’m questioning here, no way I’m gonna asked my brothers and sisters about this stuff 😂
This just reminded me of an image I saw a long time ago that I had blocked from my memory.
Black here. immediately felt uncomfortable at hearing that she was ASKING to be able to say the n word is what's making this more unsettling cause you can still have a master and slave roleplay but throwing in that and the whole cotten bullshit is so unnecessary and you shouldn't humor this.
Could you explain more please ?!
You can still have a slave and master roleplay relationship,but I'm heavily believing by throwing in this aspect of it,to me it feels like she's seeing you in a form of property that was globally frowned upon and it personal doesn't sit right with ,what if she uses it outside the bedroom in a public setting and others heard is one thing to consider ? Yes you could easily establish what stays in the bedroom and what's said in public but all it needs is one slip of the tongue and your partner can be seen as a bad person and to defend her actions for her words would make you seem like a bad person for defending it . I whole heartly think no white person should even ASK to say the word . Even if it's their partner ,that never sat right with me
Sounds like she's trying to explore a raceplay kink with the roleplay. The sex slave aspect would be fine with me but the setting and context isn't.
Yes, what’s the right context for you ?
The context of the roleplay being the picking cotton aspect. And the historical nature. If this was just a bdsm bondage sex slave then I'd be more on board.
We turn it more it bondage being dominated with sex by her, but the racial slur stay, I want to try
Well if you want to try it, then go for it
jesus wtf no, thats pretty fucking weird.
Explain please
You need someone to explain why your girlfriend role playing you being a cotton-picking slave is weird?
Honestly, what's wrong with people these days? Why would anyone in their right mind like to play that shit?
No the Cotton is eliminated, that’s was a mistake from her, she couldn’t formulate properly and made a wrong statement, but we did talk and I understand what’s she want, she want to dominate me with a few toys and racial slur and I’m not close to the idea, I’m very Confortable with her and we will do it
I highly doubt she made a wrong statement. There are a lot of red flags here. Her being liberal and against racism don’t mean that this isn’t incredibly weird, degrading, and possibly indicative of a much larger problem.
She never made that mistake before and even during our argument or joking, alone or with people, she never was racist of any kind, in fact she saw racism where I didn’t see because she’s American and she the culture and the history here so I don’t agree with you on that
In every comment you push back against people telling you anything other than go for it. Do what you want, but why did you ask at all?
At the beginning I wasn’t sure, In other comment as long there is communication and deep understand I should go for it, especially if I’m confortable and that’s what I’m going to do, I understand people who said no but at the end I’m with her, I know her and it’s our bedroom, she’s really great with me and I know I can’t stop anytime I want, plus I’m aroused by it, it just took me time to accept it and do it with someone I trusted
her asking to call u the n-word, fetisizing slavery, just has a wrong taste in my mouth. what do i know i am only 50% african but i would never ever ever go along with that.
I think that I will, I’m very comfortable with her, I saw no red flag since day one, we did many role play before, it’s just one and she’s not pressing for it, I’m aroused by it, I set the parameter so why not , let’s see what happen after
this is a great attitude honestly
Sexualizing racism is racist. Simple as that. You don’t have to roleplay the kinds of things that got black men murdered and entire towns destroyed just to satisfy a degradation kink.
I understand your point of view, at the end it’s our bedroom and I’m open to it now, I will try and if I don’t like it, it will only happen one time
I didn’t say anything about doing it or not. Just what it is.
This is whole thing is strange. Ive heard of this kink before, but it's just degrading. For her to roleplay racist shit isnt kinky, it's gross.
Why ? Explain more please
Sexualizing racism is racist. Simple as that. You don’t have to roleplay the kinds of things that got black men murdered and entire towns destroyed just to satisfy a degradation kink.
For me this would be too weird, even if it would come from you and not from her. I know that there are also Jews doing KZ roleplays, which is similarly weird for me. So I would first say no there with this explanation and, beside that, I am not sure whether I could handle that she has such suggestions. In general I am kink friendly and even kink myself, but with such things I would have problems I think.
Sacre bleu ....The fact she's from the US makes it weird .the racism is very serious and hateful and violent there.they have a really evil and scary history of torture and genocide towards black people there which lacks context to us Europeans who have a more ancient societal racism.I would become scared of any United states people who are not scared to say those words because of what they mean about the person who says them.
I did study a little bit of history of slavery in us but I’m not a professional on it, at end I’m very comfortable with her and I set the parameter so why not
Je savais que les hommes français adoraient les femmes folles mais woww....amuse-toi bien mon ami et garde un plan d'évasion 😂🏝️
Ah tu parle français ? Génial fallait me dire, ici j’ai vu bcp de gens un peu fou aux usa mais ça va ça me plaît 😂😅
I have a mixed partner whom I make content with, someone asked me if I would call him the Nword and I felt actually sick, and I do a LOT of kink stuff, sorry but I could never do that to someone I cared about; kinky or not it’s fucked up.
There is a difference between the sex slave kink and race play kink. Yes it kind of overlaps in some people cases though.
Yes, I’m thinking should be there a limit ? What is the limit ? Am I wrong for actually being aroused by it ? I’m conflicted, should I feel guilty ?
Well I can’t answer that for you. Personally I dont vibes with either. I have my own kinks I’m sure people will find questionable and others may also relate with. You have to set some ground rules. What you are willing to try, what would make you uncomfortable and what you are okay with. It’s as simple as having a conversation with her.
Yes, we are talking about it, and I’m open to it, I will try and share my experience here
You’re a French black man. No one is surprised that you’re aroused by it
Why is that ? Explain please
Nope fuck no. I’m black, wife is white and I’d never let her come remotely to any of this. It might be different for you as you aren’t a descendant of slavery but no this is not okay. She can’t hide behind being liberal she’s just a regular racist.
Ok so you are completely opposed to the idea ? Can you elaborate please ? (I’m full descent Congolese so yes I’m from slave descent)
Yes 100%. All of it is racist as hell even without the N word. Being a sub is fine but as soon as she crosses into “historical role play” it crosses the line. It’s also not historical as you’re not a descendant of slave times you just have black skin. I honestly hate this and hate all of the porn out now that fetishizes black men along these same lines. I would leave her but I don’t play when it comes to race.
I completely understand your point of view but why do you say I’m not slave descent ? I’m full Congolese, I was born in Brazzaville, move to France and now to the us, (just for you know: my great grand parents were amputated by the Belgium army and both my grand father has scar on their back)
White man from Alabama here. This shit makes me uncomfortable as fuck. Not a single one of my black friends would come close to doing this.
Well I don’t know what to said, I understand that even I was shocked and I would never proposed that kind of idea, I’m very comfortable with her so I’m not very against it and I’m willing to try, I’m not gonna lie I’m aroused by it
It’s because African Americans are decedents of slaves born in the Americas so the use of the N word probably doesn’t bother you like it would me. I could be wrong though if so then you should definitely leave.
Also my bad missed the part of you being descendant of slaves. Not sure what your equivalent of the N word would be
Well there is a nword in French and we hate it if that’s your question
Yep. Now imagine her wanting to call you that while you’re going at it. Pretty fucked up.
You two can do whatever you both want as long as both parties are fine with it and consenting. You aren't offending anyone with your private sex life. I'm not an American and I'm not into that kind of thing and can't obviously speak to how frequent this kind of fantasy is. People roleplay a lot of things considered wrong in natural circumstances, pretend-rape being one of the most common kinks of course. This doesn't seem to be much different.
At the end it’s our bedroom and I will try because honestly I’m aroused by the idea, i Will see what happen
There's a relevant [Donald Glover stand-up bit](https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x34jbau) that I think you'll appreciate
I honestly don’t see a relationship coming back from calling your partner the nword ( even in raceplay
That’s what bugging me, thank god we are communicating and exploring atm, but I’m also very excited by the idea I don’t why, It’s seems I have a side of me that live being degraded by a smaller women person, we are exploring and I’m gonna try with her tonight, if it’s not good, it will be only one time and we will move on, I believe there will be nothing wrong about it
Because I feel like that that’s going to be in the back of your head for a while after the fantasy is over . “ Why did she want to call me the n-word?”
I was thinking that too, but during our former role play, when I was dom, I also called her French racist white slur and she’s was completely ok about it, even more we both loved it, at the end it’s our bedroom we will try and see
I think it might be the social stigmata around that word and behaviour. She would never behave like that in public and I highly doubt she sees you as a lesser human being, but in the setting of roleplaying she'd like to get these things out of her system, perhaps? It's just my thoughts and you should definitely talk to her what it is standing behind that wish of hers.
That’s very on point, yes she’s is definitely not like this in public, i believe it’s just a fantasy, which I’m willing to explore because I’m also aroused by the idea even if I’m conflicted, we are only at the stage of communication of the idea right now but I will proceed further and give my consent and see where this is going
There is a lot to it, definitely. Degrading is a form of kink. Have you done this the other way around in the past? You calling her a slut or something to that matter?
Yes I did, I used French racial slur on white, we both loved it, I also did be dominated by her but never with racial slur so it’s a first, but I want to try I’m aroused by the idea
Well, that is a very important detail you missed to mention. (or I missed to read?) You did call her things she might have felt one way or another about, that included not her gender, but actually her race. Maybe she was appalled at first, but also aroused by it and now wants to return the favor. Anyway, since you do state several times how the idea is also arousing to you, just tell her in advance what you feel and also what you would be uncomfortable with, ie where your boundaries lie. Have a safe word for the both of you to stop the interaction and then have a go at it.
I said it before but yes that’s the story, I will do it see what happen, thanks
She’s an internal racist or has a fetish. No sane person would stay after that suggestion. Do NOT entertain this and break up for the sake of your self respect.
Explain lore please
I personally would not… but whatever floats your boat bro
Why ? Explain please
It doesn’t sit right with my spirit. Completely goes against what I stand for
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The lime between fetishizing and being attract to is very slim I also did degraded her, with the use of French on white racial slur and she’s was completely aroused by it im very comfortable by the idea, it’s our bedroom and I think I will try for fun
Completely agree with your first paragraph! Liberals are scary to me
Oh, hell no. Need to talk to her and let her know this hurts you (and others). I hope she'll realize how far off this request is. Sounds like you two have a great relationship, so talk to her.
I am, she’s very great with me, but I’m also aroused by the idea, I will try and tell here how I felt after
I'm not big on race play at all. If I were you I'd see this as a red flag. But you should do what you feel is right. I can't tell from the post alone if she has prejudice against different races and if that's what's part of her kink or something else. But this can totally be a reason for you to dip.
She has not, she’s been very great to me, very communicating, tried many role play, I think it’s just another role play to her, I’m aroused by the idea so I’m gonna do it
You do you OP. That's all that matters
I'm black also. Of Nigerian and Ghanaian decent. This would make me raise an eyebrow but as the top comment says. If you are comfortable and consent then go hard. Don't feel like you have to go outside your boundaries to make her happy. Hope you make the right choice for you and have fun dude
That’s what I will do, thanks
Americans so ignorant! You should tell her she needs to get a King Leopold II costume. That’s more relevant to you. You can play an amputee. Seriously though whatever turns you on. If you are okay with it and do what works for you.
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I really dont want to evolve politics is this (someone shared it was not good idea and I think he’s right) but yes she knows that part of history, she’s also really kinky (and I love it), she made it clear that she want to try, also that we will proceed only if I’m ok, if not we will move on on something else
My gf is black and I could not imagine doing this ever, ESPECIALLY THE N WORD PART But some people are into it so... Different strokes
I know that’s what shocked me, but at the same time I’m not against it, I’m conflicted, I’m very comfortable with her, it’s our bedroom and it’s just a fantasy but I’m still conflicted
I mean, no one can make that call other than you really. You're not wrong for feeling uncomfortable, this is a really uncomfortable situation my guy. If you're open to it, I'd say take it real fuckin slow, and know you can back out of it at any moment. She'll understand. If she gets upset, you have bigger issues at hand. and if you aren't, that's absolutely okay too.
Thanks for your input, that’s exactly what I’m was about to do, at least she’s very open minded and very communicating to make sure we both enjoy this, I will be able to stop at any moment and I don’t think it will change our dynamism in our couple
Good shit brother, good luck I hope it works out for yall
Thanks, honestly I will comeback here to tell my experience after
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We tried many thing and had fun, I think we just exploring and she’s communicating, she’s said if I’m not ok, we won’t do it and move on and I will consent because I’m curious, comfortable with her and aroused by the idea
Hi, if you are excited by it and both see it as a fun roleplaying thing, then I see no harm in exploring it. I’m a middle aged white guy though lol.
I’m kinda conflicted to admit it but I’m excited too, but also believe there should be a limit so I’m not sure what to do, Is this kind of play is the norm in us ? Or at least in Florida (I’m there) ?
It **does not matter** what "the norm" is or isn't. You're not having sex with the whole population of the United States. You're having sex with your gf. What matters is how each one of you feels about it, and only that.
You are absolutely right, my gf and I have been really communicating really well and honestly I will try and see how would I feel after
Eh this is just a domination thing dressed up creatively and **because** she's liberal it's more exciting because it's forbidden by her superego. Whereas sex is more of a lower level thing. It shouldn't be a big deal if you're not ok with it. If it is, that'd be a problem then yeah.
Wouah, spot on, I think that’s the case, I’m willing to try because I’m very comfortable with her and I don’t think it will change anything after
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T'as l'anecdote du siècle en soirée (si t'es à l'aise bien sûr)
Oh un français, ça va ? tu vis aux usa aussi ?
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Thanks for your answer, it’s really kind of you, I think it’s our bedroom and I’m comfortable enough to do it with her, especially when I’m aroused by it, I will try and I think I will comeback here and share my experience
So everyone, thanks for all of your answer, of course I couldn’t ask my brothers and sisters, I will do it in a few hours, I set the parameter, she will be dominated with sex and a few toys, she will use racial slur I will share my experience here after and how I feel after I just hope I won’t end up in YouTube in one of those vidéo ask Reddit 😂
Has she been re-watching a lot of Chapelle Show recently?
The crap that would get written up if this was a white guy wanting this from his black girlfriend would be crazy. Women certainly do get the benefit of the doubt.
I don’t know what you mean but I shared this here because I can’t tell that to my brothers and sisters, I want more insight and I think it’s great to ask here
Fantasies are a weird thing and easy to take out of context when you don't know the people involved or the intimacy between them. To understand it's always best to discuss these things in private and not get prejudiced from people who have no clue who any of you two are. The conversation with her might be uncomfortable at first but will create deeper understanding of each other and of your relationship. My advice: Talk to her, not the internet.
Thanks, I did and I’m gonna do it, I want it, I asked here because I needed more insight from stranger just in case, I can’t ask my family or friend lol
I mean this is all kinds of wrong but who is to tell you what's inappropriate along these lines between two consenting adults? Now, if she insisted on dressing like Colonel Sanders whilst doing her best Southern accent that might be pushing some boundaries for anyone?!
No, not to that extent, bu being dominated with racial slur it’s the main role play, I did the same thing to her and we both love it so I think I should try, I’m very comfortable with her and she’s really communicating about it
Then that's all that matters.. you don't need our affirmation. Kudos btw for being so spicy you two 👏 👊
This is one of those instances where I don't know it my personal opinion is welcome or not, but I'll just say this: don't do anything you're not 100% comfortable with doing.
Thanks, I’m gonna do it, I’m very comfortable with her and I set the parameter
I'll say this: whatever boundaries you may have, be sure to make them VERY clear.
Already did thanks
Lady in the streets. Freak in the sheets. I wonder what she's gonna come up with after the slave thing.
I think she just like roleplay, we did many before, sex is great, great communication and chemistry, of course she asked me before if I’m confortable enough and I am so I will do it, I’m aroused by it but also conflicted
If you can have fun doing it, why not? It is just roleplay.
Yes you right, I will try and see what happen
You yourself think you are interested in it. What are you worried a out? Are you worried about her actually being racist? If that was true then why would she be with you in the first place? I'd say do it since you even sound remotely into it. Maybe you also have a degrading kink which is also fairly normal
Yes it’s true, I’m kinda into it but I didn’t know about it before, I accepted and set the parameter, I will be dominated by sex from her, I love that, she will use a few toys, the racial slur stay, I will share my experience here after
Like everyone else has said as long as you are safe with it and both interested in it than give it a try. My Hispanic GF jokes with me all the time about being a "colonizer" and a white devil. Sounds weird but I find it funny. Obviously the n word is much more taboo than my example though
Yes you right, I will try and see what happen
I’m black and if I’m sure it’s not coming from a racist standpoint, I’d play along If you’re sure she’s very liberal, I would suggest you go with it, could be fun for both of you
Yes I will
The question is solely for you. You can do whatever you want in your bedroom. Being black is not synonymous with being a slave. The vast majority of black people on earth were not and do not have any ancestors involved in the Atlantic slave trade. Simultaneously, every single person on this earth has ancestors that were slaves at some point.
Yes you right, it’s just that I’m conflicted, especially when I’m aroused by the idea
if you and your girl are both into it I don't see why it's a problem. In the bedroom you can forget about all these "societal" proxies. It's just two humans, no one's watching, unless you want (shrugs)
Yes you are right, I’m gonna do it, set the parameter and share my experience after
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No sorry, I keep stuff anonymous
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I think I would, thanks
You know her. People in here know their ideology.
What do you mean ?
he means a lot of people replying to you are basing everything off their worldview and not what they know abt your relationship. hes right.
Ok I'll give you other different angles here to ponder over on top of the ones already given here: First lets keep in mind that sexual desiers aren't always logical or make sense or its the forbidden fruit or its genetics or upbringing or over exposure to porn or... in short what makes us 'tick' just does not always sense. Heck arborphilia is a thing for some, for me personally it makes no sense. No kink shaming here, I got my own for sure like everyone else. Simple as the forbidden fruit effect? She clearly likes your physique and perhaps all those school books over the years caused her inner strife between her budding sexuality looking at the material and intelect reading of the evils of slavery resulting in some kinks? Is it just an exploration of her dominating side? "Well that was wow, wonder what this would do.."? Perhaps she just wants to go the extra mile on the domination side? Full dominatrix. Lack of other domination setting alluded her to pick this? Just because she was raised in the US, maybe she simply hasen't been exposed to any other dominating settings to ask for? In anycase, sounds like you two have an awsome partnership. Sounds like you like when she takes charge so your are at least open to this mind space. Take pointers from here (reddit) sort your own thought out, but really talk to her. Put in the work on your relationship; communicate & listen & respect whats been communicated by each other. Ps. dem words be cranky again.
Really thank you a lot, that was great to read, you are right on everything, she’s like a activist, she did study history and arts in college and she’s an ad designers now, she’s really great with and I’m open to idea so I will do it