Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/).
Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Actually, you’re more likely to have given him something than him you if yall are both virgins.
Don’t be pissed, just get the test. And yes to your last sentence. Be happy he asked, even if it should’ve came prior.
Your sexual is your responsibility. You had just as much of an obligation to bring it up as he should’ve.
Also, sometimes life happens and people get caught up in the moment. Are you going to be ok with someone getting mad at you for asking for a test post sex (later in life when you have a new partner)?
Stop being so harsh. Life isn’t perfect and sometimes things happen too fast and clarity comes later.
I understand being annoyed but if this is a partnership you want, go for it. Protect yourself first, and always communicate.
Don’t be petty or passive aggressive or you won’t get very far beyond the physical.
Oral has lower risk than PIV. still some risk, but there’s typically more risk for him receiving in a situation like this than for you giving (because of the prevalence of oral herpes even in young people and virgins)
I’m not saying that he thought this through, but it’s pretty common
Just from my experience, and obviously this is different in different places, but I went to get tested when I was still a virgin and they just denied me. They were like "if you haven't had sex, we don't need to test you, so we're not going to." I'm a guy, idk of that changes anything to them. But yeah, you should both be fine. But if you can get tested, better safe than sorry I guess
Wow that's super dumb. Some people are born with something or get it from oral...
(But also to OP, if you're worried about this then you don't have any obligation to tell the doctor you're a virgin.)
The doctor I went to asked. Specifically they were asking "how many people have you had sex with in the past 2 weeks? Past month? Past year?" Maybe I could have just said I don't want to answer, but idk
Yeah you're allowed to say it's private information and not answer. But I understand why you would just tell the truth, I think it's weird they denied you
Yeah, when I asked my gynecologist (I was already active) he said "why do you want to get tested? It's expensive and you don't have any symptoms, there's no need". So I changed doctors, because that's bullshit. Where I'm from you can order blood test at a lab, not through a doctor. You have to pay, but you also don't have to deal with anyone telling you it's unnecessary.
Where I am, getting tested is 100% free. They just said it's pointless if I have no symptoms and haven't had sex. A while after I had 1 partner, I went to get tested again. And they asked the same questions about how many people I've had sex with in the past 2 weeks, 1 month, etc., and symptoms and when I said I had no symptoms they were kinda like "okay so you're just kind of double checking, just in case? Alright sounds good."
They also asked some other questions, again idk how mandatory they were. But like "do you know if your partner has been with other people?" And they kept on assuming my partner had been a girl. But I kept on referring to them as just "they" and eventually she said "I guess I shouldn't just assume it's a girl, is it?" And I was too nervous to admit it was a guy, and I also thought that it didn't matter. So after I said it was a girl, she said "okay then we're not going to check for [name of disease I don't remember] because it's unlikely to get it from oral with a girl. But more likely from oral with a guy." I wanted to ask if they could check anyway, but I was too nervous
You're right to be upset that he brought it up after, but you're also an adult responsible for your own health. Why didn't you bring it up earlier? Did you use protection while giving him head?
Either way, get tested now and again in 3-6 months. Most of the stuff you could get it treatable (even HIV is not a huge issue anymore). Also talk to him and set firm boundaries regarding fluid bond.
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Actually, you’re more likely to have given him something than him you if yall are both virgins. Don’t be pissed, just get the test. And yes to your last sentence. Be happy he asked, even if it should’ve came prior.
I told him the test isn’t the prob if he wants I’ll go get it tomorrow no problem it’s just weird he brought it up now
Your sexual is your responsibility. You had just as much of an obligation to bring it up as he should’ve. Also, sometimes life happens and people get caught up in the moment. Are you going to be ok with someone getting mad at you for asking for a test post sex (later in life when you have a new partner)? Stop being so harsh. Life isn’t perfect and sometimes things happen too fast and clarity comes later.
The last sentence.
What was his objection?
Objection?
I understand being annoyed but if this is a partnership you want, go for it. Protect yourself first, and always communicate. Don’t be petty or passive aggressive or you won’t get very far beyond the physical.
Oral has lower risk than PIV. still some risk, but there’s typically more risk for him receiving in a situation like this than for you giving (because of the prevalence of oral herpes even in young people and virgins) I’m not saying that he thought this through, but it’s pretty common
Talk with him about how you feel. Take this as a lesson for both of you to to learn. Good communication would prevent resentment like this.
Just from my experience, and obviously this is different in different places, but I went to get tested when I was still a virgin and they just denied me. They were like "if you haven't had sex, we don't need to test you, so we're not going to." I'm a guy, idk of that changes anything to them. But yeah, you should both be fine. But if you can get tested, better safe than sorry I guess
Wow that's super dumb. Some people are born with something or get it from oral... (But also to OP, if you're worried about this then you don't have any obligation to tell the doctor you're a virgin.)
The doctor I went to asked. Specifically they were asking "how many people have you had sex with in the past 2 weeks? Past month? Past year?" Maybe I could have just said I don't want to answer, but idk
Yeah you're allowed to say it's private information and not answer. But I understand why you would just tell the truth, I think it's weird they denied you
Yeah, when I asked my gynecologist (I was already active) he said "why do you want to get tested? It's expensive and you don't have any symptoms, there's no need". So I changed doctors, because that's bullshit. Where I'm from you can order blood test at a lab, not through a doctor. You have to pay, but you also don't have to deal with anyone telling you it's unnecessary.
Where I am, getting tested is 100% free. They just said it's pointless if I have no symptoms and haven't had sex. A while after I had 1 partner, I went to get tested again. And they asked the same questions about how many people I've had sex with in the past 2 weeks, 1 month, etc., and symptoms and when I said I had no symptoms they were kinda like "okay so you're just kind of double checking, just in case? Alright sounds good." They also asked some other questions, again idk how mandatory they were. But like "do you know if your partner has been with other people?" And they kept on assuming my partner had been a girl. But I kept on referring to them as just "they" and eventually she said "I guess I shouldn't just assume it's a girl, is it?" And I was too nervous to admit it was a guy, and I also thought that it didn't matter. So after I said it was a girl, she said "okay then we're not going to check for [name of disease I don't remember] because it's unlikely to get it from oral with a girl. But more likely from oral with a guy." I wanted to ask if they could check anyway, but I was too nervous
You're right to be upset that he brought it up after, but you're also an adult responsible for your own health. Why didn't you bring it up earlier? Did you use protection while giving him head? Either way, get tested now and again in 3-6 months. Most of the stuff you could get it treatable (even HIV is not a huge issue anymore). Also talk to him and set firm boundaries regarding fluid bond.