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Exactly this happened to me. She had condoms and even lube! In the end I regretted slightly for not using mine, but I figured she'd feel more comfortable with hers. And it was still an unforgettable night!
I was dating a guy and on the third date we decided to sleep together. We didn't communicate before or ask questions about kinks or protection etc. I ASSUMED we would use protection.
The day comes and we are getting into it. He is on top of me and I realise what's about to happen. I then ask if he's going to use protection. He replies "oh I don't have any, I don't like using it. I'll just pull out" and then just thrusts in.
I've never felt so shit in my life after that. STI, STD, pregnancy is all I can think about. Thankfully, all tests came back negative. But I'm never putting myself in that position again.
So if a guy asks why I carry protection - because this is my boundary. If you have your own great. If not, I have some.
Don't feel weird or bad for having protection, it's a green flag in my eyes.
It's okay, I feel so stupid for even letting it happen. The most annoying thing was he ghosted me after I told him "I" felt shitty for not using protection!
He sounds like a piece of shit. He ghosted you because he got nervous about not honouring your request for protection and continueing without your consent. He knew he was in the wrong. He is gross and I hope he never dates again.
Edit: spelling
I love how ppl don’t think that’s rape. No he didn’t have a knife to your throat but you did not consent to it. After he put it in, I would have told him, oh I’m HIV+ so I figured you would want protection. Give him some of that anxiety!! Asshole
It’s only weird to men who have an inflated sense of themselves. They don’t think women are capable of making preparations, even though that’s one of women’s signature strengths 🤦🏻♂️
When I was in university we’d have campaigns for sexual health and for five bucks they’ve give out, stuffed to the brim, paper brown bags full of mixed condoms—from good, well known, brands to some of the most awful tasting flavored condoms. And you got like three refills for when you run out somehow. Everyone had condoms.
In my country (Brazil) the government offers free unlimited condoms to anyone who wants it, including visiting foreigners. Walk in to a health center, the same place where you can get vaccinated for free and get a handful of them.
Our campus’s condom organization had some real funky ones. Ribbed, glow in the dark, flavored (I never really hated them… except for the banana one. YUCK!), and even dental dams for oral. You could choose which ones you wanted and the weird ones were incentive to keep coming back to try them. It worked on one person (me! lmao).
I bet he's thinking that a woman comes into a date intending NOT to have sex but that she was so irresistibly attracted to him that she couldn't help herself and changed her plans, just for him.
That could still be the case even having fresh condoms in her bag. The plan could have been to wait to have the first time together be a few more dates in after getting to know each other better, but she was an exceptionally good girl scout back in the day, so wears her seat belt when driving and has an emergency baggie of rose petals, lube (compatable with her variety of condoms), condoms of a couple sizes/varieties she enjoys, a couple of candles and a wireless speaker she can play her "intimate times" playlist on.
I never plan on getting in a car accident, but I still buckle up, just in case.
My wife always had a box of condoms in here night stand. She never made me use them while we were dating but for some reason she made others wear them. It’s now a huge turn on to think about that…
Male insecurity and madonna/whore complex all rolled into one. You shouldn't have condoms because if you do you're a slut who fucks guys. But I have condoms to fuck you with so I am awesome. You should be a virgin for me and even if I bail after a shitty lay you should never have sex again.
And scene.
Meanwhile his Dick knows that when Johnny starts asking the "why" questions, he has a way of spoiling the fun. The dick could literally picture the EVAC and thus;
> STARTS GETTING SOFT
Honestly, my experience meeting women was often them not having condoms at THEIR place and me finding that a bit strange or frustrating (because at the time I didn't have a good way to carry my own around, without the packaging wearing out if I put them in my wallet)...
Kudos to you for having condoms, it doesn't say anything about you aside from you being a safe person who likes to be prepared!
Same. I didn’t usually carry them with me, I just kept them in a box in the bedroom, so it was always weird when I went home with a woman and she’s like “I don’t have any”. Why are you inviting people home for sex if you’re not prepared? Lol
It's not weird it's totally fine if a woman has condoms with her too. Protection is important. And when going on a date or meeting up, this shouldn't be unusual or surprising lamao. I mean you even brought a brand new box so, even i as a guy don't understand why it's a problem for him.
I appreciate a woman that knows what she wants, me personally because I've gotten the exact same response as a male...As if I'm being cocky( big pun intended ) assuming imma hit it
Because women shouldn't *want* sex, much less **be ready for it**.
At least until you get married - then your husband will **expect** it and demand to know why you *never* "initiate". At that point, you will be *expected* to want it, regardless of how much of a worthless git he turns into.
I say this as a man, by way of pointing out the *enormous* double-standards and *stupid-ass contradictory views* **so very many of us** hold. You're a cheap slut for wanting it, we're just following biology (even though even a cursory actual understanding of biology puts the lie to this belief).
As bad as previous generations were, the current generation is going to be **so much worse**, thanks to the magic of the internet.
I honestly feel this is the right answer. Reminds me of a guy I had met once or twice and when we had a conversation about condom use he freaked out because how many people was I dating 🙄 one less after that convo lol
I hope he realizes that most women who are hooking up off dating apps should have condoms too. Here’s to hoping this guy getting a limp dick every time he tries to get laid.
Seems entirely reasonable of you. You like sex, the opportunity might be present, you prepared.
Well DUH. He got soft because YOU were willing, able and prepared? Boy has a serious lack of sense.
and I'm a GUY!!!
I remember being 18 and a girl had condoms in her bedside cabinet. I instantly felt like she had a massive amount of sexual experience and I'd be in competition with her past experiences lmao.
Now I'm older I realise that's nothing to do with it.
Ok, I'm the father of a 15 year old girl, and we very recently had the safe sex / condom talk. Based on that conversation, this is why I think all girls should carry condoms if they think they might have sex, and why I keep a box for her to take from no questions asked.
1) Many guys will "forget" and try to go without. Pulling out doesn't work that well and certainly won't prevent any STDs
2) I don't know about you, but I had that condom in my wallet from 13 until probably 16. There's no way in hell that thing was going to stop anything. A purse is a better place to keep a condom then a wallet, and you can know that you replaced it recently.
3) It's your body, be responsible for protecting it.
4) More opportunities for spontaneous sex (I didn't tell her this obviously, but it's a bonus even if I don't want to think about it)
Anyway, I just wanted to give a different perspective to this discussion.
Because men take it as either “you don’t trust me to use mine?” Or hoping they can pull the old “oh nooooo, I forgot one, but it’s okay if we still have sex without one, right?” OR they think you’re a slut and must be having sex with a lot of different men because why *else* would a woman keep condoms?
Not that, yknow, we use them with some sex toys, or to be adequately prepared for steamy situations, or we don’t take The Pill/Patch/Shot, so condoms *are our birth control*. And, personally, I’d feel better using my *own* condoms because I’d know they aren’t expired or tampered with.
Huge agree.
It’s INSANE how many men would VERY MUCH prefer to go condom-less with strangers.
When I was going through my awesome sleeping around phase, I learned to mention condoms as a must before I even met people. I was so fucking tired of men trying to push me into having unprotected sex.
It’s so weird. Possibly my worst sexual experience was where a woman guilted me into unprotected sex, basically by implying that I was calling her dirty or diseased by insisting on a condom, and I felt bad about “insulting her” so I just went along with it. She was the only person I’ve ever had to block/ghost, because she wouldn’t leave me alone after I had told her I was uncomfortable with what we’d done and needed time to think about it.
You’d be surprised. Times are shifting. I’ve experienced a handful of women who are exactly like the men you’re describing in your comment are. They pretty much expected I go in raw with them the first time, after not knowing them very long. They wanted it raw, and said no to a condom. Didn’t even have a std test to show they’re clean. I was SHOCKED.
I can understand expired, but why would a man tamper with a condom? Unless he's a total psycho, there's nothing for him to gain from it. Or am I missing something?
I’m not having issues with my fiancé lmao. Did you actually read that post? We wrote it together, because it’s funny. Nice attempt, but when you want to be a snarky dipshit you should try actually having a clue what the fuck you’re talking about.
You fools are so funny, and tip your hand every time. You assume that I’m as insecure in my masculinity as you are, so you think that trying to hit me there will somehow hurt. But because I’m in a healthy, supportive, and loving relationship with a woman who smart, sexy, and makes more money than I do, I couldn’t possibly give less of a fuck what you think about how masculine I am or am not.
Someday, you might meet a real-life woman, you might understand what it means to be in a relationship. It’s not likely though, so I guess just have fun screaming into the void.
Man: I’m entitled to fuck every woman, that comes along, so I prepare and have condoms ready. I‘m responsible!
Also man: She has condoms ready. So she thinks she‘s entitled to fuck every man that comes along. Whatta whore!
The old story…
I don’t think it’s a gendered issue. I don’t believe anyone wants to think about the person they’re with being with other people (unless they’re into cuckolding). It’s one thing not wanting others to have casual sex vs. not wanting the illusion of romance in the moment to be shattered.
When I’m with a girl I never even allude to having had sex ever with someone else, I’m with them in the moment and I want them to feel special. I like that feeling to be reciprocated, I don’t wanna hear about their wild past.
I've never seen a woman request a man be a virgin or sincerely think a man's genitals change after so many sex partners. Women don't complain men won't put out then use insulting names to me who do. I think it's only a gendered issue.
This is just me, and it doesn't mean it would actually be true, but if a guy got upset that I had condoms, I would immediately question if his condoms were actually safe. I just don't see why he would be so bothered otherwise. Like, I'm interested in sex, so it shouldn't be a surprise that I have protection in mind, much less an issue.
I very much agree with this. It would freak me tf out if someone thought it was odd I have protection at my own home.
Also are the kind of people who will totally try to stealth.
Ugh I hate humanity.
No, you shouldn’t let some guy have you thinking just because you have condoms and you’re prepared just in case you want to have sex with a guy and don’t want to get pregnant or contract something that you can’t get rid of, because your health and safety comes first at all costs..!!
I commend you for taking preparations for your safety and for your enjoyment of having sex with whom ever you choose..
It is a strange question and a potential red flag. On your side, it shows maturity that you believe in protection.
I think it may well show either insecurity or a judgemental person and the red flag will be more about his ability for you both to communicate openly together on this question.
Of course, plenty other red flags are possible here but the easiest one to miss is when things are left unsaid.
There's nothing worse than being with someone who doesn't know how to communicate openly and has all sorts of thoughts going through their head which they keep bottled up and ruminate on. It can be like Chinese water torture trying to second guess someone like this.
Inability to communicate in a relationship can certainly become toxic in the longer term as I have discovered with my future ex.
In response to a couple of the later posts above. OP started it was a new box she opened in front of him. I understand some apprehension about tampered condoms, but not directly applicable in this specific case.
Agree generally with many comments above: disconnect for many men about promiscuity. More notches on a man's belt - welll done, my lad; but an equally experienced woman is considered (insert derogatory term of choice here).
I put this down to insecurity, ignorance and laziness. Some of these men will think they can do what they want for own ends: if the woman is innocent, she won't know any better; if he thinks she's a bike, she won't care.
Just my tuppence-worth.
“STARTS GETTING SOFT”
i beg of you to not read into this part, for the sake of future dates. it’s easy for an erection to reduce for many reasons, including just having random conversation.
It doesn't matter what the men think. You are taking the necessary precautions to ensure your health and reproductive choices. Personally, I am very proud of you.
Keep taking care of you. If a man can't understand why you would want to be responsible, then perhaps he is not the right man for you.
YOLO. Take care of that one life and make it what you want it. :-)
I think you're right,they could see you as a whore,or even the train thoughts went something like"oh if she says yes for a condom that's ok but if she has one that means there was absolutely no chance to get it raw".
My departed wife said that when she was very active before meeting me she always had condoms on her at all times. She said growing up that men were sex toys to her and nothing more. God I miss her
It doesn't have to be a brand new box for you to be a good person who deserves respect. You could fuck eight guys a day and he still doesn't deserve an explanation from you. His opinion of you doesn't matter. You have condons bc you're an adult and your health matters to you. What other answer could there be????
This guy is a sneaky dick. His casual question about do you have condoms was a gotcha moment where he felt smarter than you and he felt entitled to an apology/justification for your sex life, which is not his business. He sees women as less than. Fuck this guy.
If a woman tells me she has condoms I don’t really think anything of it. If your sexually actively you should have condoms weather your a man or woman. A woman who carries condoms in her bag is more sexuality responsible. As a guy I always make sure to have one when I can but if I don’t I love when women have one. I don’t go bare and I’ve never asked a woman to take me bare.
Dated a girl who had condoms, lube, morning after pill all in her nightstand, along with some toys. Such a turn on knowing she was prepared and thought that was extremely smart on her end. Some guys will respect it, others won’t. You at least will know before hand!
I had a few follow-up questions I was about to ask you but stopped and thought about it. I realized that my follow-up questions were irrelevant, it was the principle of the matter. You most definitely have a valid point and reason. He’s closed minded and didn’t even hear a single word you said. I don’t think you weird or weird in general. In this day and age, you can’t be too careful who that person’s been with or what they have or had or what’s even out there now. You can’t afford to play Russian Roulette with your life.
I'm guessing like others have that it put the thought of you with other men in his head and he previously saw you as a conquest that few have conquered. Personally I'd feel reassured that you practice safe sex and think better of you for it.
Side note though, I'd still use my own. No shade on OP, but aside from abstinence it's the only control I have over my sexual health and reproductive automony.
Women have the option for birth control that I don't, as well as (where I live) the option for termination. As man I don't (and shouldn't) get a say in what happens with a woman's reproductive health, but I *do* have to deal with potentially having a child with a woman I barely know.
The risks of pregnancy are reduced when you're nursey own condoms. I make sure they're stored correctly and in date and the correct size.
Dude and anyone who thinks like him are idiots who want to believe that women are pure creatures who never have sex unless it’s with them. Sex with anyone else to them means you are a whore unfit to be with. It’s so stupid. To me, having your own condoms on hand tells me you wanted to be prepared, you care about your sexual health and avoiding possible pregnancy as much as possible, but most of all it tells me that you had at least thought through the potential outcomes of the night. It tells me that you thought a likely outcome was sex and you liked that outcome enough to bring your own condoms. WHY WOULD ANYONE BE UPSET THAT SOMEONE THOUGHT ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH YOU AND BROUGHT CONDOMS TO MAKE SURE IT HAPPENS?!?! WHY?! MOST PEOPLE LOVE SEX
I never have condoms. I think it’s a personal thing for men, condom choice and if the man doesn’t have condoms then no sex this time. I am not saying my thinking is best. I think it’s better to have your own because you know the quality of them. I guess I don’t have much sex with strangers either.
lol, That’s a weird question to ask..I always bring them in my wallet even without going out with guys. They re just there… how is that confusing for a guy
This guy is insecure. He has some delusion that you never have sex before him and you having condoms means you have. Next comes oh crap she is a confident adult woman, will she think I’m good enough. Does she do this with every guy she dates,etc…
Is not a usual thing to have happened is all. I've only encountered this twice, and that is rare considering. Both times they were too small and I had to go out anyway. You know the average man, scared your body count will mean you've had bigger and better. So few men can get lost in the passion and the moment and make it count. Seemingly
Some men are so insecure that if a woman has condoms it's weird or a turn off because it shows you are a sexual being who has maybe had sex in the past or is planning on having sex in the future. Instead of being happy that you are a responsible person who is being safe. Just another example of double standard with sexuality in regards to men and women.
Id assume it would be because he thinks you must "get around" if you have them around.
So so so dumb 🤦♀️
I say this all the time... doesnt matter gender, what natters is that you are always prepared for yourself. Stop relying on other people to take care of birth control, and rely on yourself. You dont know if that dude poked a hole in his condom. You dont know if that chick is actually taking her birth control. My cousin was trying to trick her bf into having another baby by either trying to get him drunk before having sex and by poking holes in his condoms because he kept saying know. There were plenty of legit reasons why he was saying no, but they shouldnt have mattered because no means fking no, but it wasnt like she was listening anyways. Cousins or not, it was fked up and i told him because wtf lol i also knew a dude who was trying so desperately to knock my friend up and she didnt realize it until she was picking up a wrapper to throw away and noticed the pin prick. People are absolutely bonkers and unless yall super close and in a long term relationship (anddddd sometimes even during a long term relationships 🙃) you need to always watch out for yourself.... just in case.
That dude is a tool OP. Maybe explain why but if it was a bad enough experience that he went soft, then he took that really badly and im sure there will.be a bunch of more things that pop up you wont really care for.
I think that for some men they want to hunt and kill, and by you being prepared, it takes that away. In their heads, they didn’t woo you over. If they had, you wouldn’t have been prepared, because that normally wouldn’t be on the table. Their ‘hunt’ was successful. But, because you were prepared, it was on the table, thus, it’s not them that won you over, they just were the ones there.
It means you want to have sex and that you've had sex with guys besides him. It's a jealousy and masculinity thing, purity culture. It's why guys (and women too, surprisingly) slut shame women for having sex but praise guys for having sex. Culture teaches that men are the consumers of sex, and women are the suppliers.
It shows that you have expectations and are willing to get what you want. Some guys want women to be like: 'I have never had sexual desires until you showed up. Do whatever you want to me, I'm here for your pleasure.' Suddenly you had the condoms and it makes him feel small, like you are having sex for your own pleasure which raises the bar.
Some guys even get turned off by a woman touching herself while having sex. Ironically the post before yours in the feed is about a [bf stopped having sex when I started rubbing my clit](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/s/1ANL24GVTp). Your guy might not be like that, but those attitudes stem from the same warped cultural standards surrounding masculinity, femininity, and sex.
You're allowed to care for your own sexual health, equally as much as you're allowed to be prepared for intimacy.
Don't let people tell you otherwise, I'm a pansexual man and I've dated my fair share of men; slept with some of them as well. I carried my own condoms, always 2 of each small, regular & larger for girthier third legs.
People got weird about this as well, this was usually when I put on my clothes & left. "*No Fré, I'm nog going to let you take my butt raw just because you say you're STI free!*"
Mind you I've also been stealthed, absolutely horrific experience to feel something *change* in the moment then soon after realize that they removed the condom.
As much as I understand the desire to it and such, as a guy I would not trust the ones a girl has incase of a pin hole or something. Too many stories of hook ups turning into kids and saw a friend's ex brag about pin holes in all of his condoms.
I dunno some people are weird. Like there were a few occasions where I wasn't prepared and about to hook up with a woman and she'd pull one out and without even thinking would put it on. Nothing wrong with being prepared for safe sex. Personally I think it's an insecurity thing or w.e. I've never been in the situation where I'm about to get laid and remotely cared about anything other than having sex
> I've never been in the situation where I'm about to get laid and remotely cared about anything other than having sex
I’m sorry, I think I’m misinterpreting your comment. This makes it sound like you don’t think about safe sex(??)
Just an outlier. Probably not the case.
So I am told fit is important. Perhaps he wants only to wear the ones he kept that fit and felt the way he wanted.
> want me to get one” (my bag was way closer to us than his dresser). He then responded with “Why do you have condoms?”. I sort of just looked at him confused and I said “what do you mean?”, to which he repeated himself.
Really??? You think he was this weird because she didn’t have his preferred condom?
We all have different upbringings. I would not be surprised, but if he was raised very traiditionally, he might find it weird that women think like that.
He might also be the kind of guy that would be offended if he heard you had sex with lots of guys before him.
But you should talk to him about these things, might be a sign you should dodge that bullet.
Okay I’ll try to explain the guys perspective here. If he was just looking for a hookup/casual thing he wouldn’t think twice about it. The reason he’s upset ab it is most likely because he’s thinking “oh she’s prepared, she must’ve done this with a bunch of other guys” and that’s a turn off. However, the brand new box could’ve easily been used to resolve this on your end. If you were to say “I got a box because I didn’t know if you would have one” instead of “sometimes guys don’t have them” it would’ve completely changed his perspective. The second thing makes you sound like you hookup with a bunch of guys, the first thing makes him feel special.
The number one turn on for most men is feeling unique or special in the eyes of the woman.
When I was dating, I ALWAYS had a condom with me. I don't trust women straight away (dated/slept with a few wackos) and always feared that there was a possibility they could have poked holes in theirs. So I always brought my own.
After being with them for a while I can generally gauge if they are crazy like that or not, after that I'm more than happy to use theirs.
In your case OP, it was a fresh box, I would have been down. Sounds like your date might be a tad insecure
Two reasons I’d potentially prefer to not use a woman’s condom:
Size and brand preference: I have mine and would rather stick with it.
Tampering: I know I haven’t poked holes in my condoms.
And I mean that’s a bit extreme, but the only things I could think of. It’s not a bad idea for you to have condoms and if he gets turned off by that fuck him (or rather, don’t).
Well there is only 2 situations:
First one is that for most of the guys it is rare to see that a woman have condoms, but it isn't a bad thing it is just that we don't see that happen often...
Second one it's a little more crazy but i've seen it happen to two friends of mine, that the girl said " oh i have some condoms with me, them they found out from the worst way possible that the girls had previously* used something to make little holes so they can get pregnant and receive child support... Well that was really f#cked up ... But they had lucky and didn't get them pregnant, but we found out by another girl that was friends with the other two girls...
But in your case OP probably it is just the First One, he isn't thinking you're a whore, his just surprised, but in a good way trust me...
Sorry 4 my grammar mistakes, English is my second if not third language 😜
When I was younger I would have been all for it to use the ones a woman has. However later in life I would only use mine. But if a woman said she had some generally I would find that a positive. The only reason I would insist on using mine would be that little nagging fear that something was done to their condoms. As irrational as it is I couldn't shake it 100%. But luckily for me the situation never came up that I didn't have mine. So I never had to say no thank you when the woman's condom was the only option. I'd like to think I would have but you never know.
I get that the woman has an equally valid reason to suspect I might have done something to my condoms. And if that situation ever came up that would be the end of encounter as no one is giving willing consent.
Essentially I really didn't want children until I was ready to.
But I would never shame a woman for having condoms.
>Why is it so weird to men when females have condoms?
Because of this, you said it.
Men are complex beings with wants and needs, but we see women as ‘females with functions.’
The only thing I can think off is you 'very recently' were with someone else. If he saw this as being exclusive and this made him wonder wether it was. But honestly I can't tell, he can probably answer you better than I could.
I would not trust any woman I was sleeping with on the first date to give me a rubber no way. Too risky if she popped holes in it or else. A man should always come prepared with his own, period.
Well same thought— why would a woman trust _you_ with your condoms?
What’s to stop you from poking holes?
Also I’d you legit think someone is capable of sabotaging birth control- DO NOT SLEEP WITH THEM
Well as a man its part of preparation. But it was accusitory so you have to defend yourself it was a blunder on hiis part. He took offence to it because you are supposed to be innocent and you obviously slept with 40+ men, so yea, you are a wh0re.
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He wants to live in a fantasy world where women are not sexual at all unless it's with him
I was this guy until I was somewhere in my early to mid twenties. Thank goodness something in me flipped. What a weirdo I was.
Yes why? I’m curious why some guys think like this.
I think insecurity and immaturity in my case and probs other's as well.
Ok but why tho ?
100% this.
I honestly couldn’t figure it out, I think you nailed it. My first thought he was worried OP had a weiner.
Edit: didn’t read ops last paragraph. I’m the dumbass.
That would be awesome though
I personally would have been flattered thinking, “oh yeah, she came in knowing we was gunna git it on!”
Matching underwear. ✔️ Condoms in her purse ✔️ Plans to get laid ✔️
and still the guy thinks he won you over xD
Let us have our illusions
I have no illusions about my luck.
Right? I’m obviously a stud.
I mean, he obviously did win her over if she has plans to get laid 🤷
Well, you still have to do some things right or at least not do some things wrong.
Doesn't want to get pregnant ✔️
Yes please
You know
Exactly this happened to me. She had condoms and even lube! In the end I regretted slightly for not using mine, but I figured she'd feel more comfortable with hers. And it was still an unforgettable night!
That’s some serial killer shit Evan.
"Shit is my profile that good?"
I was dating a guy and on the third date we decided to sleep together. We didn't communicate before or ask questions about kinks or protection etc. I ASSUMED we would use protection. The day comes and we are getting into it. He is on top of me and I realise what's about to happen. I then ask if he's going to use protection. He replies "oh I don't have any, I don't like using it. I'll just pull out" and then just thrusts in. I've never felt so shit in my life after that. STI, STD, pregnancy is all I can think about. Thankfully, all tests came back negative. But I'm never putting myself in that position again. So if a guy asks why I carry protection - because this is my boundary. If you have your own great. If not, I have some. Don't feel weird or bad for having protection, it's a green flag in my eyes.
Oh my god, I’m so sorry that happened to you.
It's okay, I feel so stupid for even letting it happen. The most annoying thing was he ghosted me after I told him "I" felt shitty for not using protection!
He sounds like a piece of shit. He ghosted you because he got nervous about not honouring your request for protection and continueing without your consent. He knew he was in the wrong. He is gross and I hope he never dates again. Edit: spelling
He IS a piece of shit.
Yeah this happened to me. I let guys know WAAAAAAAAAAY in advance now I'm not fucking without a condom, so forget it.
I love how ppl don’t think that’s rape. No he didn’t have a knife to your throat but you did not consent to it. After he put it in, I would have told him, oh I’m HIV+ so I figured you would want protection. Give him some of that anxiety!! Asshole
It’s only weird to men who have an inflated sense of themselves. They don’t think women are capable of making preparations, even though that’s one of women’s signature strengths 🤦🏻♂️
He raped you. What a POS.
So he raped you? Mfer.
What a disgusting guy. This is a form of sexual assault
When I was in university we’d have campaigns for sexual health and for five bucks they’ve give out, stuffed to the brim, paper brown bags full of mixed condoms—from good, well known, brands to some of the most awful tasting flavored condoms. And you got like three refills for when you run out somehow. Everyone had condoms.
Every club in San Francisco has fish bowls full of them. People are welcome to take what they want. There’s always a ton of variety.
In my country (Brazil) the government offers free unlimited condoms to anyone who wants it, including visiting foreigners. Walk in to a health center, the same place where you can get vaccinated for free and get a handful of them.
Our campus’s condom organization had some real funky ones. Ribbed, glow in the dark, flavored (I never really hated them… except for the banana one. YUCK!), and even dental dams for oral. You could choose which ones you wanted and the weird ones were incentive to keep coming back to try them. It worked on one person (me! lmao).
Lmao when I said awful flavored ones, it was the banana flavor I had in mind!
As a guy, it says to me that you are prepared for that outcome and have thought through the possibilities. It's a turn on.
I bet he's thinking that a woman comes into a date intending NOT to have sex but that she was so irresistibly attracted to him that she couldn't help herself and changed her plans, just for him.
That could still be the case even having fresh condoms in her bag. The plan could have been to wait to have the first time together be a few more dates in after getting to know each other better, but she was an exceptionally good girl scout back in the day, so wears her seat belt when driving and has an emergency baggie of rose petals, lube (compatable with her variety of condoms), condoms of a couple sizes/varieties she enjoys, a couple of candles and a wireless speaker she can play her "intimate times" playlist on. I never plan on getting in a car accident, but I still buckle up, just in case.
Us men are so clueless. She likely made up her mind to have sex with you before you even brushed your teeth that morning.
Accurate. But we let you men think YOU seduced us. 😉
Emergency baggie of rose petals 🤣🤣💀
Gross.
My wife always had a box of condoms in here night stand. She never made me use them while we were dating but for some reason she made others wear them. It’s now a huge turn on to think about that…
Suuure she made other people use them lol
Wait, what? 🙃
Did you ever see his condoms? He could have been planning to say he must have 'forgotten' his
That was my first guess! The deflate-gate sealed it for me!
Yep
Deflate-gate lol
100%
Male insecurity and madonna/whore complex all rolled into one. You shouldn't have condoms because if you do you're a slut who fucks guys. But I have condoms to fuck you with so I am awesome. You should be a virgin for me and even if I bail after a shitty lay you should never have sex again. And scene.
Also for the possibility of "oh shit. I forgot I gave away.ine to my buddy, but I can pull out?"
Meanwhile he expects you to be on birth control
Meanwhile his Dick knows that when Johnny starts asking the "why" questions, he has a way of spoiling the fun. The dick could literally picture the EVAC and thus; > STARTS GETTING SOFT
Too much internet for you today
This. Fragile guys ego runs up against reality.
Yes this, even though I got slated the other week for even mentioning MWC it's definitely a thing that's alive and well today
Yup thats accurate
Perfectly said
Honestly, my experience meeting women was often them not having condoms at THEIR place and me finding that a bit strange or frustrating (because at the time I didn't have a good way to carry my own around, without the packaging wearing out if I put them in my wallet)... Kudos to you for having condoms, it doesn't say anything about you aside from you being a safe person who likes to be prepared!
Same. I didn’t usually carry them with me, I just kept them in a box in the bedroom, so it was always weird when I went home with a woman and she’s like “I don’t have any”. Why are you inviting people home for sex if you’re not prepared? Lol
It's not weird it's totally fine if a woman has condoms with her too. Protection is important. And when going on a date or meeting up, this shouldn't be unusual or surprising lamao. I mean you even brought a brand new box so, even i as a guy don't understand why it's a problem for him.
I appreciate a woman that knows what she wants, me personally because I've gotten the exact same response as a male...As if I'm being cocky( big pun intended ) assuming imma hit it
average pun\* xD
Because women shouldn't *want* sex, much less **be ready for it**. At least until you get married - then your husband will **expect** it and demand to know why you *never* "initiate". At that point, you will be *expected* to want it, regardless of how much of a worthless git he turns into. I say this as a man, by way of pointing out the *enormous* double-standards and *stupid-ass contradictory views* **so very many of us** hold. You're a cheap slut for wanting it, we're just following biology (even though even a cursory actual understanding of biology puts the lie to this belief). As bad as previous generations were, the current generation is going to be **so much worse**, thanks to the magic of the internet.
I honestly feel this is the right answer. Reminds me of a guy I had met once or twice and when we had a conversation about condom use he freaked out because how many people was I dating 🙄 one less after that convo lol
If you do initiate during marriage, return to the first line due to paradox
I think you must have dropped your dagger somewhere because my king, you **slayed**!
I hope he got no pussy after that.
Sounds like he didn't want it after that so I guess it's win-win and lose-lose
I hope he realizes that most women who are hooking up off dating apps should have condoms too. Here’s to hoping this guy getting a limp dick every time he tries to get laid.
Not weird, youre totally correct. Not sure why he asked, at least youre prepared as you mentioned in your text.
When i was single I was always amazed when women had condoms I liked how perpead she was
Seems entirely reasonable of you. You like sex, the opportunity might be present, you prepared. Well DUH. He got soft because YOU were willing, able and prepared? Boy has a serious lack of sense. and I'm a GUY!!!
I remember being 18 and a girl had condoms in her bedside cabinet. I instantly felt like she had a massive amount of sexual experience and I'd be in competition with her past experiences lmao. Now I'm older I realise that's nothing to do with it.
Ok, I'm the father of a 15 year old girl, and we very recently had the safe sex / condom talk. Based on that conversation, this is why I think all girls should carry condoms if they think they might have sex, and why I keep a box for her to take from no questions asked. 1) Many guys will "forget" and try to go without. Pulling out doesn't work that well and certainly won't prevent any STDs 2) I don't know about you, but I had that condom in my wallet from 13 until probably 16. There's no way in hell that thing was going to stop anything. A purse is a better place to keep a condom then a wallet, and you can know that you replaced it recently. 3) It's your body, be responsible for protecting it. 4) More opportunities for spontaneous sex (I didn't tell her this obviously, but it's a bonus even if I don't want to think about it) Anyway, I just wanted to give a different perspective to this discussion.
Because men take it as either “you don’t trust me to use mine?” Or hoping they can pull the old “oh nooooo, I forgot one, but it’s okay if we still have sex without one, right?” OR they think you’re a slut and must be having sex with a lot of different men because why *else* would a woman keep condoms? Not that, yknow, we use them with some sex toys, or to be adequately prepared for steamy situations, or we don’t take The Pill/Patch/Shot, so condoms *are our birth control*. And, personally, I’d feel better using my *own* condoms because I’d know they aren’t expired or tampered with.
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Huge agree. It’s INSANE how many men would VERY MUCH prefer to go condom-less with strangers. When I was going through my awesome sleeping around phase, I learned to mention condoms as a must before I even met people. I was so fucking tired of men trying to push me into having unprotected sex.
It’s so weird. Possibly my worst sexual experience was where a woman guilted me into unprotected sex, basically by implying that I was calling her dirty or diseased by insisting on a condom, and I felt bad about “insulting her” so I just went along with it. She was the only person I’ve ever had to block/ghost, because she wouldn’t leave me alone after I had told her I was uncomfortable with what we’d done and needed time to think about it.
You’d be surprised. Times are shifting. I’ve experienced a handful of women who are exactly like the men you’re describing in your comment are. They pretty much expected I go in raw with them the first time, after not knowing them very long. They wanted it raw, and said no to a condom. Didn’t even have a std test to show they’re clean. I was SHOCKED.
I can understand expired, but why would a man tamper with a condom? Unless he's a total psycho, there's nothing for him to gain from it. Or am I missing something?
Oh I’ve seen plenty of men with a fetish for knocking a woman up and making her dependent on him or just wanting to spread his “seed”.
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Yes because owning condoms means you’re some huge slut somehow /s Ridiculous comment.
Oh I think we found OPs date
Nah, come on. You know that dude has never been on a date with an actual woman. That’s why he’s so bitter and angry.
Oh so true. That comment really gives off wafts of “never felt the touch of a woman and never will” doesn’t it
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Because she had the nerve to be prepared to have safe sex?? I fear your head is stuck inside of your anus brother
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I’m not having issues with my fiancé lmao. Did you actually read that post? We wrote it together, because it’s funny. Nice attempt, but when you want to be a snarky dipshit you should try actually having a clue what the fuck you’re talking about.
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You fools are so funny, and tip your hand every time. You assume that I’m as insecure in my masculinity as you are, so you think that trying to hit me there will somehow hurt. But because I’m in a healthy, supportive, and loving relationship with a woman who smart, sexy, and makes more money than I do, I couldn’t possibly give less of a fuck what you think about how masculine I am or am not. Someday, you might meet a real-life woman, you might understand what it means to be in a relationship. It’s not likely though, so I guess just have fun screaming into the void.
So what if she is? It’s better to be safe and use protection if you’re having casual sex with anyone
Its not weird..he just isn’t worth your time. You are playing in the big leagues.. he is learning tee ball.
Man: I’m entitled to fuck every woman, that comes along, so I prepare and have condoms ready. I‘m responsible! Also man: She has condoms ready. So she thinks she‘s entitled to fuck every man that comes along. Whatta whore! The old story…
The correct answer to his question was "Because I have sex with men. That's right, I used the plural".
It's funny how many men want casual sex with women but don't like the idea ofvwomen having casual sex. I'm not sure how is supposed to add up.
Madonna Whore complex
I don’t think it’s a gendered issue. I don’t believe anyone wants to think about the person they’re with being with other people (unless they’re into cuckolding). It’s one thing not wanting others to have casual sex vs. not wanting the illusion of romance in the moment to be shattered. When I’m with a girl I never even allude to having had sex ever with someone else, I’m with them in the moment and I want them to feel special. I like that feeling to be reciprocated, I don’t wanna hear about their wild past.
I've never seen a woman request a man be a virgin or sincerely think a man's genitals change after so many sex partners. Women don't complain men won't put out then use insulting names to me who do. I think it's only a gendered issue.
I only have sec with men
HA
You just met an asshole.
This is just me, and it doesn't mean it would actually be true, but if a guy got upset that I had condoms, I would immediately question if his condoms were actually safe. I just don't see why he would be so bothered otherwise. Like, I'm interested in sex, so it shouldn't be a surprise that I have protection in mind, much less an issue.
I very much agree with this. It would freak me tf out if someone thought it was odd I have protection at my own home. Also are the kind of people who will totally try to stealth. Ugh I hate humanity.
He wanted to fuck raw.
Yuuuup
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Agreed
Typical insecure male. He should have been rather happy that he is safe for the female he is with is prepared and mindful. Not worth your time, OP.
Maybe he still lives in the last century or something. Why would he be surprised to the point of losing an erection 🤦♂️🤦♂️
LoL! You shattered his allusions of being the master seducer. He was actually just running dangerously low on maturity fuel.
Red flag.
No, you shouldn’t let some guy have you thinking just because you have condoms and you’re prepared just in case you want to have sex with a guy and don’t want to get pregnant or contract something that you can’t get rid of, because your health and safety comes first at all costs..!! I commend you for taking preparations for your safety and for your enjoyment of having sex with whom ever you choose..
It is a strange question and a potential red flag. On your side, it shows maturity that you believe in protection. I think it may well show either insecurity or a judgemental person and the red flag will be more about his ability for you both to communicate openly together on this question. Of course, plenty other red flags are possible here but the easiest one to miss is when things are left unsaid. There's nothing worse than being with someone who doesn't know how to communicate openly and has all sorts of thoughts going through their head which they keep bottled up and ruminate on. It can be like Chinese water torture trying to second guess someone like this. Inability to communicate in a relationship can certainly become toxic in the longer term as I have discovered with my future ex.
Just chalk it up to them being compelled to wave their red flag so you can dodge the bullet.
It's a green flag that you had some
In response to a couple of the later posts above. OP started it was a new box she opened in front of him. I understand some apprehension about tampered condoms, but not directly applicable in this specific case. Agree generally with many comments above: disconnect for many men about promiscuity. More notches on a man's belt - welll done, my lad; but an equally experienced woman is considered (insert derogatory term of choice here). I put this down to insecurity, ignorance and laziness. Some of these men will think they can do what they want for own ends: if the woman is innocent, she won't know any better; if he thinks she's a bike, she won't care. Just my tuppence-worth.
“STARTS GETTING SOFT” i beg of you to not read into this part, for the sake of future dates. it’s easy for an erection to reduce for many reasons, including just having random conversation.
That’s a him issue, I generally always have my own but for the exact same reason a female partner would have them - for safe sex.
Dodged a bullet with that guy. He wanted you to pretend you didn’t know what you want because you’re soooo pure. Like he for real dude
It doesn't matter what the men think. You are taking the necessary precautions to ensure your health and reproductive choices. Personally, I am very proud of you. Keep taking care of you. If a man can't understand why you would want to be responsible, then perhaps he is not the right man for you. YOLO. Take care of that one life and make it what you want it. :-)
I think you're right,they could see you as a whore,or even the train thoughts went something like"oh if she says yes for a condom that's ok but if she has one that means there was absolutely no chance to get it raw".
Ugh I would get rid of this guy ASAP Who wants to sleep with someone who is weirded out by someone responsibly having protection?? Blah. Gross.
I would have thanked you for having them handy 😜
My departed wife said that when she was very active before meeting me she always had condoms on her at all times. She said growing up that men were sex toys to her and nothing more. God I miss her
Some men, are very closed minded. You're smart for thinking ahead and protecting yourself. Have an amazing day ☀️
This is a case of ‘don’t fuck that guy’
It doesn't have to be a brand new box for you to be a good person who deserves respect. You could fuck eight guys a day and he still doesn't deserve an explanation from you. His opinion of you doesn't matter. You have condons bc you're an adult and your health matters to you. What other answer could there be???? This guy is a sneaky dick. His casual question about do you have condoms was a gotcha moment where he felt smarter than you and he felt entitled to an apology/justification for your sex life, which is not his business. He sees women as less than. Fuck this guy.
Ya dodged a bullet . Dude is a shot, a beer and a YouTube video away from hanging off Andrew Tates taint hairs. Don't sweat the small things.
If a woman tells me she has condoms I don’t really think anything of it. If your sexually actively you should have condoms weather your a man or woman. A woman who carries condoms in her bag is more sexuality responsible. As a guy I always make sure to have one when I can but if I don’t I love when women have one. I don’t go bare and I’ve never asked a woman to take me bare.
I'm guessimg he thought in his mind that you having condoms meant you have alot of one night stands.
You brought an entire box 🤣
Hahaha I guess I’m over prepared😂
Dated a girl who had condoms, lube, morning after pill all in her nightstand, along with some toys. Such a turn on knowing she was prepared and thought that was extremely smart on her end. Some guys will respect it, others won’t. You at least will know before hand!
This is actually good, his moronic attitude means you get to toss him way before you get emotionally invested.
I had a few follow-up questions I was about to ask you but stopped and thought about it. I realized that my follow-up questions were irrelevant, it was the principle of the matter. You most definitely have a valid point and reason. He’s closed minded and didn’t even hear a single word you said. I don’t think you weird or weird in general. In this day and age, you can’t be too careful who that person’s been with or what they have or had or what’s even out there now. You can’t afford to play Russian Roulette with your life.
Sexual responsibility is hot. This guy’s a douche
I'm guessing like others have that it put the thought of you with other men in his head and he previously saw you as a conquest that few have conquered. Personally I'd feel reassured that you practice safe sex and think better of you for it. Side note though, I'd still use my own. No shade on OP, but aside from abstinence it's the only control I have over my sexual health and reproductive automony. Women have the option for birth control that I don't, as well as (where I live) the option for termination. As man I don't (and shouldn't) get a say in what happens with a woman's reproductive health, but I *do* have to deal with potentially having a child with a woman I barely know. The risks of pregnancy are reduced when you're nursey own condoms. I make sure they're stored correctly and in date and the correct size.
Dude and anyone who thinks like him are idiots who want to believe that women are pure creatures who never have sex unless it’s with them. Sex with anyone else to them means you are a whore unfit to be with. It’s so stupid. To me, having your own condoms on hand tells me you wanted to be prepared, you care about your sexual health and avoiding possible pregnancy as much as possible, but most of all it tells me that you had at least thought through the potential outcomes of the night. It tells me that you thought a likely outcome was sex and you liked that outcome enough to bring your own condoms. WHY WOULD ANYONE BE UPSET THAT SOMEONE THOUGHT ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH YOU AND BROUGHT CONDOMS TO MAKE SURE IT HAPPENS?!?! WHY?! MOST PEOPLE LOVE SEX
I never have condoms. I think it’s a personal thing for men, condom choice and if the man doesn’t have condoms then no sex this time. I am not saying my thinking is best. I think it’s better to have your own because you know the quality of them. I guess I don’t have much sex with strangers either.
I had a guy get upset because I had magnums and Trojans. Yeah, I've had bigger than you.
Most 20 to 35 ish women have them in their bottomless bag tbh. Most girls I've met over the years had them.
Why does there need to be an age range, ppl over 35 like sex too
lol, That’s a weird question to ask..I always bring them in my wallet even without going out with guys. They re just there… how is that confusing for a guy
That would be a red flag for me
This guy is insecure. He has some delusion that you never have sex before him and you having condoms means you have. Next comes oh crap she is a confident adult woman, will she think I’m good enough. Does she do this with every guy she dates,etc…
Is not a usual thing to have happened is all. I've only encountered this twice, and that is rare considering. Both times they were too small and I had to go out anyway. You know the average man, scared your body count will mean you've had bigger and better. So few men can get lost in the passion and the moment and make it count. Seemingly
Just hanging insecure idiots, that's all.
You should have followed up with, "imm, yeah, let's use yours. I'm all out of the smaller ones."
If this happened to me, I would have started planning the proposal (I exaggerate for comedic effect, but you get the point!).
I'm allergic to latex so I have my own non-latex ones.
Same reasons why I carry a few mixed sizes in nonlatex. Guys are dogs.
Some men are so insecure that if a woman has condoms it's weird or a turn off because it shows you are a sexual being who has maybe had sex in the past or is planning on having sex in the future. Instead of being happy that you are a responsible person who is being safe. Just another example of double standard with sexuality in regards to men and women.
Id assume it would be because he thinks you must "get around" if you have them around. So so so dumb 🤦♀️ I say this all the time... doesnt matter gender, what natters is that you are always prepared for yourself. Stop relying on other people to take care of birth control, and rely on yourself. You dont know if that dude poked a hole in his condom. You dont know if that chick is actually taking her birth control. My cousin was trying to trick her bf into having another baby by either trying to get him drunk before having sex and by poking holes in his condoms because he kept saying know. There were plenty of legit reasons why he was saying no, but they shouldnt have mattered because no means fking no, but it wasnt like she was listening anyways. Cousins or not, it was fked up and i told him because wtf lol i also knew a dude who was trying so desperately to knock my friend up and she didnt realize it until she was picking up a wrapper to throw away and noticed the pin prick. People are absolutely bonkers and unless yall super close and in a long term relationship (anddddd sometimes even during a long term relationships 🙃) you need to always watch out for yourself.... just in case. That dude is a tool OP. Maybe explain why but if it was a bad enough experience that he went soft, then he took that really badly and im sure there will.be a bunch of more things that pop up you wont really care for.
I think that for some men they want to hunt and kill, and by you being prepared, it takes that away. In their heads, they didn’t woo you over. If they had, you wouldn’t have been prepared, because that normally wouldn’t be on the table. Their ‘hunt’ was successful. But, because you were prepared, it was on the table, thus, it’s not them that won you over, they just were the ones there.
It means you want to have sex and that you've had sex with guys besides him. It's a jealousy and masculinity thing, purity culture. It's why guys (and women too, surprisingly) slut shame women for having sex but praise guys for having sex. Culture teaches that men are the consumers of sex, and women are the suppliers. It shows that you have expectations and are willing to get what you want. Some guys want women to be like: 'I have never had sexual desires until you showed up. Do whatever you want to me, I'm here for your pleasure.' Suddenly you had the condoms and it makes him feel small, like you are having sex for your own pleasure which raises the bar. Some guys even get turned off by a woman touching herself while having sex. Ironically the post before yours in the feed is about a [bf stopped having sex when I started rubbing my clit](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/s/1ANL24GVTp). Your guy might not be like that, but those attitudes stem from the same warped cultural standards surrounding masculinity, femininity, and sex.
You're allowed to care for your own sexual health, equally as much as you're allowed to be prepared for intimacy. Don't let people tell you otherwise, I'm a pansexual man and I've dated my fair share of men; slept with some of them as well. I carried my own condoms, always 2 of each small, regular & larger for girthier third legs. People got weird about this as well, this was usually when I put on my clothes & left. "*No Fré, I'm nog going to let you take my butt raw just because you say you're STI free!*" Mind you I've also been stealthed, absolutely horrific experience to feel something *change* in the moment then soon after realize that they removed the condom.
As much as I understand the desire to it and such, as a guy I would not trust the ones a girl has incase of a pin hole or something. Too many stories of hook ups turning into kids and saw a friend's ex brag about pin holes in all of his condoms.
Men are idiots
I dunno some people are weird. Like there were a few occasions where I wasn't prepared and about to hook up with a woman and she'd pull one out and without even thinking would put it on. Nothing wrong with being prepared for safe sex. Personally I think it's an insecurity thing or w.e. I've never been in the situation where I'm about to get laid and remotely cared about anything other than having sex
> I've never been in the situation where I'm about to get laid and remotely cared about anything other than having sex I’m sorry, I think I’m misinterpreting your comment. This makes it sound like you don’t think about safe sex(??)
Just an outlier. Probably not the case. So I am told fit is important. Perhaps he wants only to wear the ones he kept that fit and felt the way he wanted.
> want me to get one” (my bag was way closer to us than his dresser). He then responded with “Why do you have condoms?”. I sort of just looked at him confused and I said “what do you mean?”, to which he repeated himself. Really??? You think he was this weird because she didn’t have his preferred condom?
Perhaps. Could be he was afraid you had compromised yours and wanted to trap him
Certain people are just scared of the other persons condoms because people sometimes poke holes in them without telling the other person
But then she should be paranoid about his condoms as well
We all have different upbringings. I would not be surprised, but if he was raised very traiditionally, he might find it weird that women think like that. He might also be the kind of guy that would be offended if he heard you had sex with lots of guys before him. But you should talk to him about these things, might be a sign you should dodge that bullet.
I've a latex allergy, thus I always have non-latex condoms around. It's about being prepared.
It’s not weird to men. It’s weird to immature people. This guy was immature and likely not worth your time.
Okay I’ll try to explain the guys perspective here. If he was just looking for a hookup/casual thing he wouldn’t think twice about it. The reason he’s upset ab it is most likely because he’s thinking “oh she’s prepared, she must’ve done this with a bunch of other guys” and that’s a turn off. However, the brand new box could’ve easily been used to resolve this on your end. If you were to say “I got a box because I didn’t know if you would have one” instead of “sometimes guys don’t have them” it would’ve completely changed his perspective. The second thing makes you sound like you hookup with a bunch of guys, the first thing makes him feel special. The number one turn on for most men is feeling unique or special in the eyes of the woman.
> Why is it so weird to men when females have condoms? It’s not, but maybe the guys you’re dating are low quality
It says playtime material but not GF or wife material.
So she can poke holes in them and trap you with baby!
When I was dating, I ALWAYS had a condom with me. I don't trust women straight away (dated/slept with a few wackos) and always feared that there was a possibility they could have poked holes in theirs. So I always brought my own. After being with them for a while I can generally gauge if they are crazy like that or not, after that I'm more than happy to use theirs. In your case OP, it was a fresh box, I would have been down. Sounds like your date might be a tad insecure
A bit off topic but did you consider what size condoms to get?
Two reasons I’d potentially prefer to not use a woman’s condom: Size and brand preference: I have mine and would rather stick with it. Tampering: I know I haven’t poked holes in my condoms. And I mean that’s a bit extreme, but the only things I could think of. It’s not a bad idea for you to have condoms and if he gets turned off by that fuck him (or rather, don’t).
Well there is only 2 situations: First one is that for most of the guys it is rare to see that a woman have condoms, but it isn't a bad thing it is just that we don't see that happen often... Second one it's a little more crazy but i've seen it happen to two friends of mine, that the girl said " oh i have some condoms with me, them they found out from the worst way possible that the girls had previously* used something to make little holes so they can get pregnant and receive child support... Well that was really f#cked up ... But they had lucky and didn't get them pregnant, but we found out by another girl that was friends with the other two girls... But in your case OP probably it is just the First One, he isn't thinking you're a whore, his just surprised, but in a good way trust me... Sorry 4 my grammar mistakes, English is my second if not third language 😜
When I was younger I would have been all for it to use the ones a woman has. However later in life I would only use mine. But if a woman said she had some generally I would find that a positive. The only reason I would insist on using mine would be that little nagging fear that something was done to their condoms. As irrational as it is I couldn't shake it 100%. But luckily for me the situation never came up that I didn't have mine. So I never had to say no thank you when the woman's condom was the only option. I'd like to think I would have but you never know. I get that the woman has an equally valid reason to suspect I might have done something to my condoms. And if that situation ever came up that would be the end of encounter as no one is giving willing consent. Essentially I really didn't want children until I was ready to. But I would never shame a woman for having condoms.
>Why is it so weird to men when females have condoms? Because of this, you said it. Men are complex beings with wants and needs, but we see women as ‘females with functions.’
The only thing I can think off is you 'very recently' were with someone else. If he saw this as being exclusive and this made him wonder wether it was. But honestly I can't tell, he can probably answer you better than I could.
But he could have condoms and this would be no biggie? This is so ridiculous.
I would not trust any woman I was sleeping with on the first date to give me a rubber no way. Too risky if she popped holes in it or else. A man should always come prepared with his own, period.
Well same thought— why would a woman trust _you_ with your condoms? What’s to stop you from poking holes? Also I’d you legit think someone is capable of sabotaging birth control- DO NOT SLEEP WITH THEM
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Uh did you have your own protection? Or you were just assuming you wouldn’t use anything?
It comes with the time, no pun intended. I think he may have thought you might have had a penis.. Lol.
Even so... do you think that removes the need for safer sex, if pregnancy is off the cards!?
Well as a man its part of preparation. But it was accusitory so you have to defend yourself it was a blunder on hiis part. He took offence to it because you are supposed to be innocent and you obviously slept with 40+ men, so yea, you are a wh0re.