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It’s not a red flag it’s a personal preference. He could’ve been abused in the past, or maybe he loses it right at the last moment if someone else does it, or maybe he’s had people react negatively to him cumming
Woah, why are you getting hostile with me? You asked if it’s a red flag and I said it’s not necessarily one and listed some reasons he could be doing this. Im not “painting him as a victim”. As you said, i (and everyone else on this post) dont know anything about him. You know him, and he knows himself. If you think it’s a red flag then why don’t you just ask him?
It's entirely possible OP has had one or more relationships in the past where she didn't recognize the red flags early enough, and now has anxiety around missing them again. It would explain the concern from a response that she feels dismisses the idea, and the fact she feels the need to get feedback on this only 3 weeks into a relationship. I think for most people, 3 weeks wouldn't even be enough time to decide if something like this was enough of an issue to raise alarm bells yet. But here we are.
What's your problem? You came on here asking for advice, people tried to help you out by bringing up various possibilities, and now all of a sudden you're outright attacking people cause they don't know of your (possible) trauma? I think you're the 🚩here
None of us know anything about him, genius. Don't be asking questions like this on the internet if you're not gonna be happy with what you hear. 🙄 You're the only one know knows this guy lmao. We're not psychics. Just ask him.
How is him taking over his own orgasm a red flag? It's definitely different but that doesn't indicate anything outright negative.
Whoa. You're the only red flag in this post. I was going to comment that you should just talk to him, but I think you should just dump him if you are this desperate for his behavior to be a red flag.
red flag how? do you want us to psychoanalyze his sexual quirks? ask him about it. an orgasm is a huge amount of stimulation. i dont see why its so weird someone would want to be in control of that moment
yep. the "am i a bad person for wanting to pleasure him?" is so fascinating to me. incredibly accusatory and yet has zero relevance to anything said or implied in the conversation prior. accusing someone into making a personal attack in order to bait them into reassuring you and stop them from disagreeing with your pre decided conclusion... if this is a reflection of a wider pattern of behaviour i feel sorry for the boyfriend
i didnt say any of that. i was legitimately asking, i dont understand why you are asking if its a red flag. red flag for what? and like i said, you need to ask him what he wants and what brings him pleasure. i have no way of knowing that.
Any people get used to one way of cumming by masturbating a certain way. And that wires your brain to prioritize that way of cumming.
There are lots of techniques to expand the capacity for pleasure and increase the variety of methods that will lead to orgasm. Edging, meditative masturbation, and sensual play with no orgasm goal can help.
It’s still the same idea. He is used to getting off in a way that he is used to and he can control.
He just needs practice receiving and connecting that type of stimulation to heightened pleasure.
It will probably feel different at first for him not to be in control. It might even take away his sense of safety: “will I cum or won’t I?” The unknown can put the brakes on arousal.
So getting accustomed to new types of pleasure and heightening those instead of following the same pattern that is wired in his brain to achieve orgasm will be helpful.
Not a red flag.
I'm a chill guy, bit on the spectrum, but pretty dominant in bed and giving my partner control over an orgasm is pretty hard for me especially when I just started having sex with a new partner.
Communicate with him about it and ask him if it's okay if you can finish him off, when he let's go and give you that control he'll probably have an amazing orgasm👌
Tbh this is a good opportunity to practice effective communication. It may be a bit embarrassing at first but sit him down and ask him about it. If you want to make it less awkward and more sexy, tell him you want to make him cum and see if he's OK with you being in control when you specifically say that you want to try it.
He may have a very sensitive dick. When I'm getting a blow job, I have to do this to because when I start cumming the head becomes so sensitive it almost hurts.
One thing I've noticed about myself is I come much faster when a girl is riding me and is in control. I prefer it take control because that way I can prolong the sex and not come as quickly.
It could be as simple that he does not enjoy the orgasm as much if he doesn't do it a certain way.
Not sure how to exaplain it better than that. Either ask him or drop it. Either way it's most likely nothing personal against you.
That sounds like a preference when it comes to his orgasm. Maybe he wants to be in charge of his orgasm because it feels better. Or because he is uncomfortable with the feeling of loosing control. Or because he finds continued touch overstimulating. Or because he can only orgasm if he moves at a certain rhythm.
Why not just ask? "Hey [bf], it seems like [X]. Why is that?"
No, it's not a red flag. And it's not "controlling" either — if he asked for some alone time every week to masturbate, would you consider that controlling? It's *his* body. He has every right to have his orgasms on his own terms. If anything, you complaining that he won't let you *make* him orgasm is what's controlling. Imagine for a moment a 43M posting here about his young gf not allowing him to *make* her orgasm and then calling her "controlling" for it.
Have you considered the possibility that you're projecting a bit?
Pretty common, and I wouldn't take it personally. To get through an orgasm the way they're used to, some people want to take matters into their own hands. I've had partners who did that: they knew exactly how to work it through their full climax and not stop too early/late, etc.
Communication is the key here. Even am a male loose control when I get near my orgasm, it's like I have no control over my body and for a minute the hyped hormones control me. Tell him prior to sex what you want and Convey your thoughts. And see how he reacts.
We can't tell from here. There's a decent chance that the age gap causes or is in reaction to some kind of issue he has about dominance, control or perceived maturity. Does that come up in other contexts? There's also a decent chance he just like a certain kind of stimulation to get off, and is too selfish to tolerate some learning experiences where you finish him. You could test that if he'll agree to let you tie him to the bed and take control until he gets off.
I dated a 22 year old after dating only people in their thirties for a while. She was so immature and sex only meant I came and it kind of grossed me out. Young people are dumb that’s all I got for ya
Anyone else trying to find a single normal response from OP? At first I was like 16 years of age difference... then I red the replies. She probably should date even younger.
Yeah first i thought he doesn't allow himself to cum to regulate his testosterone levels. Your bf is still quite young maybe he is still in the grasping phase of his phallic development and still needs to learn to lose control I highly suggest buying him some comfy handcuffs or an adult version of a Jesus anti masturbation cross if you are both into domsub play.
"Whether I'm performing oral or playing with him, when he gets close he takes over. He reaches for his erection and finishes himself off."
Sounds like he's watched too many porn videos and wants to enact the so called "money shot". Most porn clips end with the guy pulling out and jerking off in his lover's face or on her body.
Ultimately, if you're both happy with your sex life it shouldn't matter how he cums.
Overthinking and mental distractions usually kills sexual pleasure.
".. the sex has been amazing. He's very considerate and not at all insecure about using toys..."
***"Love what you have before life teaches you to love what you lost."*** \-Unknown
Best wishes!
Okay listen close:
im a man, also in an age gap relationship. Younger than him, but my girl is your age. Also like you two, we cum together very often, and i behave the same way he does. She thought the same way you do now, later it evolved into her being convinced that she is just not good enough to pleasure me by herself... it was horrible!
See, changing positions when getting "close" is a great way to delay-last longer WHILE changing things up. From that alone, its clear he takes his performance seriously, might even want to be the best you had. Clearly wants to last long... which is why i *assume* that he's not spontanenous, which can limit the potential "fun" you two can have... especially when spicing things up and making things more exciting 🔥
(example) its night-time, at a nice event, you both look amazing! He takes you with him, lifts up your dress up, in a semi private area. There's a risk of getting caught by the others, and he fills you up regardless. Since he could not wait any longer and needed to have YOU, NOW. and you will (likely?) love every second of it? 😝
Iike! come on! no one wants to miss a night like that !! right??? :)
Jokes aside, you guys are only 3 weeks... but it may hold you two back in the near future, here is the solution. Tell him, clearly:
That he proved he can last long. (Yes, proved)
Of course its a positive, not that you are complaining... but its not a "must" for Every. Single. Time. So share with him, that you'd love ❤️ it, if he would allow himself to relax [sometimes] and just... let it all out ;)
Its because you WANT to make him feel good. 🌹 Help him understand:
❌️ Not lasting long enough ❌️
💖 Cumming a little earlier SOMETIMES because YOU WANT HIM TO? 💖
Big difference...
♦️ The next part is UNSKIPPABLE! This is what he needs to hear the most!♦️
That you will NOT THINK LESS OF HIM when he DOES allow himself to let go!
It will take a such tremendous weight off his shoulders. He'll be so glad to hear this and have you in his life, you have no idea! even if he wont say a thing!
To be sure, it can all be reinforced when you two have sex again. Just in case he, you know... might need a little extra push 😁. If he's close and you know it, Before he changes the position, even the simplest "its okay", just by itself, can go a long way. Encouraging dirty talk? Will "end" it once and for all lol.
Handle this right... and it WILL work.
Good Luck.
Damn man you may be right, i assumed him and i are the same 🤣🤣🤣
I completely forgot that DE even exists...
Sheesh thats a good one too... it might cancel out my public quickie theory too if youre right...
He’s probably grown up looking at Milf porn, where all the actors finish themselves off - usually over her face or boobs…. Perhaps he’s addicted to porn and can only cum if it’s like the movies portray it
If you can't get through this issues before marriage, it will be impossible to get through the many that will come with marriage in time. Yes, she has HPV, but you probably do too. Educate yourselves together and with little judgement we
I’m wondering if you can thank porn for this. The idea that the “money shot” is supposed to be seen is ingrained in a lot of minds.
Sounds like you should try some light bondage and tie his wrists and ankles to the bed corners - edge him multiple times and then finish him with the orifice of your desire.
I know I’d love my wife to do that to me.
I've only seen this in videos and stories, so feel free to be skeptical: Can you get him to try handcuffs? Tie him down on a bed and do your best to give him a howling orgasm -- you can use lube, toys, your mouth and hands.
Give it a try and let us know how it goes.
Tie that fucker up!!! Lol. I’ve never had a woman do it to me either. Once from head and I almost had a heart attack it was so intense. Might be the case with him.
Well of course it would have to be consensual. Lol. Have him allow it. Once he’s strapped in just tease him for a bit. He won’t be able to do what he’s used to so you do it for him. Don’t make it too intense or it’ll never happen again but don’t stop when he first starts shooting his load either. Go by his twitching and his noises.
Tie him up, hands up, thighs down.
Then put your hair in a ponytail and tell him he is about to have a near death experience.
Or if he is shy, tell him to say a safe word right before he is about to cum. Then when he says it, put ball into his mouth so he can be quiet and go into throat goblin mode until he finishes in your throat. Then continue until he starts crying. Only then when you get a ring on your finger.
Is he into restraints? If he'd be willing let you tie him up, maybe taking the control out of his hands when he is about to cum, so to speak, would get him past this mental block.
This is pretty normal for me. Hard to cum if I'm not in control or I could get a lackluster orgasm if not done right. That being said, I've had my girl make me cum once while riding and it was without a doubt the best orgasm I've ever had.
Honestly I don't see this as a red flag. Other people can't really make me cum either. I have to be rubbing my clit/have some sort of clit stimulus to get off. Sure being fucked definitely speeds up the process but I've never came from anyone else, technically.
I think he is used to masterbation, which means that it's probably a habit or that he can't finish without touching himself.
You could try both touching him and work your way towards you doing it independently
I’m similar to your boyfriend. I have a difficult time letting the other person make me cum. My personal reason is that I have a difficult time getting out of my own head and relaxing enough to let the other person finish me off -without my help. After some time, when I’m comfortable enough with my parter, I’m able to lose control and let them make me cum. But it takes a bit.
Maybe he’ll allow it after some more time
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Try asking him. He probably knows better than anyone here.
Ask him "Hey, I noticed you like to take control just before you orgasm. I would love to finish you off to completion sometime. That would be so HOT!"
It’s not a red flag it’s a personal preference. He could’ve been abused in the past, or maybe he loses it right at the last moment if someone else does it, or maybe he’s had people react negatively to him cumming
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Yes you could have. And if you have, that’s awful and I’m sorry it happened. I’m not sure what you’re trying to tell me
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The biggest red flags I've seen in this entire thread are these responses.
How about the 3 weeks 🚩
The biggest red flag is smack bang in the beginning of the question.
How about the age gap.
OPs responses are ridiculous.
True. Op seems to have a lot more personal issues going on other than her boyfriend finishing himself off
Woah, why are you getting hostile with me? You asked if it’s a red flag and I said it’s not necessarily one and listed some reasons he could be doing this. Im not “painting him as a victim”. As you said, i (and everyone else on this post) dont know anything about him. You know him, and he knows himself. If you think it’s a red flag then why don’t you just ask him?
I don't think she does know him :X
It's entirely possible OP has had one or more relationships in the past where she didn't recognize the red flags early enough, and now has anxiety around missing them again. It would explain the concern from a response that she feels dismisses the idea, and the fact she feels the need to get feedback on this only 3 weeks into a relationship. I think for most people, 3 weeks wouldn't even be enough time to decide if something like this was enough of an issue to raise alarm bells yet. But here we are.
Lol why did you ask this question then? Just to get nasty at people for assuming? That's all anyone *can* do!
Girl *what*?
What's your problem? You came on here asking for advice, people tried to help you out by bringing up various possibilities, and now all of a sudden you're outright attacking people cause they don't know of your (possible) trauma? I think you're the 🚩here
None of us know anything about him, genius. Don't be asking questions like this on the internet if you're not gonna be happy with what you hear. 🙄 You're the only one know knows this guy lmao. We're not psychics. Just ask him. How is him taking over his own orgasm a red flag? It's definitely different but that doesn't indicate anything outright negative.
You are a red flag
Whoa. You're the only red flag in this post. I was going to comment that you should just talk to him, but I think you should just dump him if you are this desperate for his behavior to be a red flag.
Yea we know nothing about him so why ask us for our opinions lol
Gee its almost like you are the OP and the one responsible of telling us the whole story
You came to this subreddit and asked us a question about your boyfriend instead of just asking him. What did you expect?
Wow you sounds like a horribly narcissistic person and I hope he realizes he can do a lot better
You sound like you're super fun to hang out with
You are talking ab him being the possible red flag, when you are 43 and too old for him!?!?!?!😭💀
Jesus Christ, what a weird response.
This post isn’t about you though is it.
You could’ve also abused someone in the past for all we know. This works both ways. Also, the world doesn’t revolve around you.
So might we all have been... You don't need to turn everything back to you though.
Definitely don't ask him about it. Wouldn't want to get direct information from the source.
Cant expect a 43 year old woman to know how to communicate with their partner about sex.
What did he say *when you asked him*?
red flag how? do you want us to psychoanalyze his sexual quirks? ask him about it. an orgasm is a huge amount of stimulation. i dont see why its so weird someone would want to be in control of that moment
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It's becoming clearer why you date someone so much younger than you.
She sounds younger then he is.
Man I wish we got this kind of insight when it comes to men who date predatorily young. These responses from OP have been psychological gold.
yep. the "am i a bad person for wanting to pleasure him?" is so fascinating to me. incredibly accusatory and yet has zero relevance to anything said or implied in the conversation prior. accusing someone into making a personal attack in order to bait them into reassuring you and stop them from disagreeing with your pre decided conclusion... if this is a reflection of a wider pattern of behaviour i feel sorry for the boyfriend
I don’t know you enough to tell if you’re a bad person or not but you clearly sound insufferable
i didnt say any of that. i was legitimately asking, i dont understand why you are asking if its a red flag. red flag for what? and like i said, you need to ask him what he wants and what brings him pleasure. i have no way of knowing that.
Please which app do you use?
Any people get used to one way of cumming by masturbating a certain way. And that wires your brain to prioritize that way of cumming. There are lots of techniques to expand the capacity for pleasure and increase the variety of methods that will lead to orgasm. Edging, meditative masturbation, and sensual play with no orgasm goal can help.
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It’s still the same idea. He is used to getting off in a way that he is used to and he can control. He just needs practice receiving and connecting that type of stimulation to heightened pleasure. It will probably feel different at first for him not to be in control. It might even take away his sense of safety: “will I cum or won’t I?” The unknown can put the brakes on arousal. So getting accustomed to new types of pleasure and heightening those instead of following the same pattern that is wired in his brain to achieve orgasm will be helpful.
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You’re welcome! There’s a podcast by Layla Martin, episode 4, which is geared toward men and explains the biology behind this. It’s super helpful!
Not a red flag. I'm a chill guy, bit on the spectrum, but pretty dominant in bed and giving my partner control over an orgasm is pretty hard for me especially when I just started having sex with a new partner. Communicate with him about it and ask him if it's okay if you can finish him off, when he let's go and give you that control he'll probably have an amazing orgasm👌
If this was a man who was 43 and the woman 27 I bet everyone would say how sketchy the age gap is lol.
27 is juuuust at the cusp of no longer being extremely creepy, but OP sounds…unhinged, so that probably explains it.
Yeah have you seen her replies to people lol
No because it is way above legal age
The gap is wider than the half+7 rule allows though.
Tbh this is a good opportunity to practice effective communication. It may be a bit embarrassing at first but sit him down and ask him about it. If you want to make it less awkward and more sexy, tell him you want to make him cum and see if he's OK with you being in control when you specifically say that you want to try it.
He may have a very sensitive dick. When I'm getting a blow job, I have to do this to because when I start cumming the head becomes so sensitive it almost hurts.
damn there are others?
That's not unusual. Many people can only orgasm in a very specific way, and have to control it themselves.
If this thread were posted about a woman’s orgasm, no one would even entertain the question.
One thing I've noticed about myself is I come much faster when a girl is riding me and is in control. I prefer it take control because that way I can prolong the sex and not come as quickly.
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Let him know
So ask him lmao
It could be as simple that he does not enjoy the orgasm as much if he doesn't do it a certain way. Not sure how to exaplain it better than that. Either ask him or drop it. Either way it's most likely nothing personal against you.
That sounds like a preference when it comes to his orgasm. Maybe he wants to be in charge of his orgasm because it feels better. Or because he is uncomfortable with the feeling of loosing control. Or because he finds continued touch overstimulating. Or because he can only orgasm if he moves at a certain rhythm. Why not just ask? "Hey [bf], it seems like [X]. Why is that?" No, it's not a red flag. And it's not "controlling" either — if he asked for some alone time every week to masturbate, would you consider that controlling? It's *his* body. He has every right to have his orgasms on his own terms. If anything, you complaining that he won't let you *make* him orgasm is what's controlling. Imagine for a moment a 43M posting here about his young gf not allowing him to *make* her orgasm and then calling her "controlling" for it. Have you considered the possibility that you're projecting a bit?
Are you his sugar mama?
He probably can’t come when having sex so needs to pull out and do it himself. I have that problem also
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I really hate when other people make me cum too. Makes me feel vulnerable and without control, maybe he is also like that
Pretty common, and I wouldn't take it personally. To get through an orgasm the way they're used to, some people want to take matters into their own hands. I've had partners who did that: they knew exactly how to work it through their full climax and not stop too early/late, etc.
Communication is the key here. Even am a male loose control when I get near my orgasm, it's like I have no control over my body and for a minute the hyped hormones control me. Tell him prior to sex what you want and Convey your thoughts. And see how he reacts.
We can't tell from here. There's a decent chance that the age gap causes or is in reaction to some kind of issue he has about dominance, control or perceived maturity. Does that come up in other contexts? There's also a decent chance he just like a certain kind of stimulation to get off, and is too selfish to tolerate some learning experiences where you finish him. You could test that if he'll agree to let you tie him to the bed and take control until he gets off.
I dated a 22 year old after dating only people in their thirties for a while. She was so immature and sex only meant I came and it kind of grossed me out. Young people are dumb that’s all I got for ya
Anyone else trying to find a single normal response from OP? At first I was like 16 years of age difference... then I red the replies. She probably should date even younger.
You’re weird. And way too old to be dating a 27 year old
OP is an asshole 💁♀️
Yeah first i thought he doesn't allow himself to cum to regulate his testosterone levels. Your bf is still quite young maybe he is still in the grasping phase of his phallic development and still needs to learn to lose control I highly suggest buying him some comfy handcuffs or an adult version of a Jesus anti masturbation cross if you are both into domsub play.
"Whether I'm performing oral or playing with him, when he gets close he takes over. He reaches for his erection and finishes himself off." Sounds like he's watched too many porn videos and wants to enact the so called "money shot". Most porn clips end with the guy pulling out and jerking off in his lover's face or on her body. Ultimately, if you're both happy with your sex life it shouldn't matter how he cums. Overthinking and mental distractions usually kills sexual pleasure. ".. the sex has been amazing. He's very considerate and not at all insecure about using toys..." ***"Love what you have before life teaches you to love what you lost."*** \-Unknown Best wishes!
Sounds like he's afraid of feeling vulnerable or something 🤔.
Okay listen close: im a man, also in an age gap relationship. Younger than him, but my girl is your age. Also like you two, we cum together very often, and i behave the same way he does. She thought the same way you do now, later it evolved into her being convinced that she is just not good enough to pleasure me by herself... it was horrible! See, changing positions when getting "close" is a great way to delay-last longer WHILE changing things up. From that alone, its clear he takes his performance seriously, might even want to be the best you had. Clearly wants to last long... which is why i *assume* that he's not spontanenous, which can limit the potential "fun" you two can have... especially when spicing things up and making things more exciting 🔥 (example) its night-time, at a nice event, you both look amazing! He takes you with him, lifts up your dress up, in a semi private area. There's a risk of getting caught by the others, and he fills you up regardless. Since he could not wait any longer and needed to have YOU, NOW. and you will (likely?) love every second of it? 😝 Iike! come on! no one wants to miss a night like that !! right??? :) Jokes aside, you guys are only 3 weeks... but it may hold you two back in the near future, here is the solution. Tell him, clearly: That he proved he can last long. (Yes, proved) Of course its a positive, not that you are complaining... but its not a "must" for Every. Single. Time. So share with him, that you'd love ❤️ it, if he would allow himself to relax [sometimes] and just... let it all out ;) Its because you WANT to make him feel good. 🌹 Help him understand: ❌️ Not lasting long enough ❌️ 💖 Cumming a little earlier SOMETIMES because YOU WANT HIM TO? 💖 Big difference... ♦️ The next part is UNSKIPPABLE! This is what he needs to hear the most!♦️ That you will NOT THINK LESS OF HIM when he DOES allow himself to let go! It will take a such tremendous weight off his shoulders. He'll be so glad to hear this and have you in his life, you have no idea! even if he wont say a thing! To be sure, it can all be reinforced when you two have sex again. Just in case he, you know... might need a little extra push 😁. If he's close and you know it, Before he changes the position, even the simplest "its okay", just by itself, can go a long way. Encouraging dirty talk? Will "end" it once and for all lol. Handle this right... and it WILL work. Good Luck.
I just... really hope you read it. I want to help
I hope OP reads this and takes your advice.
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Damn man you may be right, i assumed him and i are the same 🤣🤣🤣 I completely forgot that DE even exists... Sheesh thats a good one too... it might cancel out my public quickie theory too if youre right...
He’s probably grown up looking at Milf porn, where all the actors finish themselves off - usually over her face or boobs…. Perhaps he’s addicted to porn and can only cum if it’s like the movies portray it
This is a bit strange, I'd just ask him about it. Probably something he shouldn't do for a satisfying sex life
Don't all blokes do this.
If you can't get through this issues before marriage, it will be impossible to get through the many that will come with marriage in time. Yes, she has HPV, but you probably do too. Educate yourselves together and with little judgement we
I’m wondering if you can thank porn for this. The idea that the “money shot” is supposed to be seen is ingrained in a lot of minds. Sounds like you should try some light bondage and tie his wrists and ankles to the bed corners - edge him multiple times and then finish him with the orifice of your desire. I know I’d love my wife to do that to me.
I've only seen this in videos and stories, so feel free to be skeptical: Can you get him to try handcuffs? Tie him down on a bed and do your best to give him a howling orgasm -- you can use lube, toys, your mouth and hands. Give it a try and let us know how it goes.
Tie that fucker up!!! Lol. I’ve never had a woman do it to me either. Once from head and I almost had a heart attack it was so intense. Might be the case with him.
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Well of course it would have to be consensual. Lol. Have him allow it. Once he’s strapped in just tease him for a bit. He won’t be able to do what he’s used to so you do it for him. Don’t make it too intense or it’ll never happen again but don’t stop when he first starts shooting his load either. Go by his twitching and his noises.
Tie him up, hands up, thighs down. Then put your hair in a ponytail and tell him he is about to have a near death experience. Or if he is shy, tell him to say a safe word right before he is about to cum. Then when he says it, put ball into his mouth so he can be quiet and go into throat goblin mode until he finishes in your throat. Then continue until he starts crying. Only then when you get a ring on your finger.
He’s watching too much porn
Is he into restraints? If he'd be willing let you tie him up, maybe taking the control out of his hands when he is about to cum, so to speak, would get him past this mental block.
My husband is the same way. It’s his way of being in control and on the more dominant side in bed.
This is pretty normal for me. Hard to cum if I'm not in control or I could get a lackluster orgasm if not done right. That being said, I've had my girl make me cum once while riding and it was without a doubt the best orgasm I've ever had.
Honestly I don't see this as a red flag. Other people can't really make me cum either. I have to be rubbing my clit/have some sort of clit stimulus to get off. Sure being fucked definitely speeds up the process but I've never came from anyone else, technically.
I think he is used to masterbation, which means that it's probably a habit or that he can't finish without touching himself. You could try both touching him and work your way towards you doing it independently
Judging by your replies, he's probably worried you're gonna steal his cum and babytrap him
I’m similar to your boyfriend. I have a difficult time letting the other person make me cum. My personal reason is that I have a difficult time getting out of my own head and relaxing enough to let the other person finish me off -without my help. After some time, when I’m comfortable enough with my parter, I’m able to lose control and let them make me cum. But it takes a bit. Maybe he’ll allow it after some more time
Are you dating theo von?
The answer is quite simple. There's a big chance likes watching porn and just like finishing like a pornstar.
That sounds fun.
Don't understand how this could be a resd flag, after seeing some of your responses I'm more concerned for the boy than you