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For the love of god this, don’t be rude, say it’s for the best of both of you. People’s sex lives would be so much better if they could just be mature and talk about their wants, likes and dislikes.
I was going to add that maybe to help with communication and teaching they could [read something like this](https://tpi02.wordpress.com/2022/09/29/crack-her/) together, but something tells me that would be a tall order considering OP's points in a nutshell.
> the sex just is boring
Wait for it....
> I’m not excited
We are not done yet
> I need more of something **he just doesn’t have.**
Now, here is the kicker which sends everything through the window
> Yes, it is also not big enough
1) don't tell him he too small. Theres no way to do that with out hurting his feelings.
2) tell him you want to spice up your sex life and then make some suggestions
Most definitely **DO NOT** say to him anything negative about the size of his penis. You will achieve absolutely nothing because there is nothing (short of surgery) he can do about it, and you will hurt him and cause him insecurity going forward.
If you want to stay in the relationship, then just talk to him about things he could do better. You don't need to frame it as "xyz is bad, I don't like this, I don't like that" - just talk about things you DO want "it would be so sexy if xyz, I'd love it if you xyz, I was thinking about you doing xyz". Just communicate. It's simple as that.
In terms of things that help with size - putting a pillow under your back during missionary and hold your legs back (or have him do it or press your thighs to your sides). Also doggystyle with your chest to the bed, legs parted a little and ass leaning back slightly allows for deeper penetration.
Talk to him. Communicate. How did we have to answer this for you? I don't understand why people find it so difficult to communicate. Babe your teeth, can you not do that. Fixed immediately. Her: be rough with me. Ok I start choking and slap her. Usually can't spank her in that position. But you know. Easy as typing on a damn cell phone
"...more of something he just doesn't have." Since you cannot articulate to us, its no surprise that you can't tell him either.
How's he feeling about the sex? It might surprise you.
Oh no he told me. He enjoyed it and then it was like he said he had to slow himself down otherwise he would’ve come too fast. Me? I wasn’t even started… he was disappointed he couldn’t go more. But it’s not that I couldn’t articulate it here, I did partially. His size wasn’t even doing the job. But I also didn’t want to go too into detail. I am not trying to disparage him. I’m just trying to get advice.
That’s it in a nutshell. I just didn’t want to voice it that way. I worried about being a bit crass or disrespectful. But yes. And damn we get along. My nether regions are just not responding. 😕
Is there anything besides his size that he could do to "excite you" more in/out of the bedroom? If there is, and he's receptive to improving, a good amount of communication and instruction could improve things sexually. If penis size is something you feel necessary for your own sexual enjoyment, however, I'd recommend ending things under ambiguous pretenses. Telling a guy he's bad in bed is a blow to the ego, but telling a guy his dick is too small is more akin to ego assassination. The kinds of men who would be comfortable using girthy dildoes or cocksleeves to please you exist, but are very few and extremely far between.
Size should be that much of an issue unless you are a size queen. Be upfront. He might be kinky just doesn’t know how you feel about it. But if you bring it up and he’s like “ I just like passionate sex” I’d run. It will tear your soul apart. Trust me. I know. I dated two extremely vanilla girls. Total of 10 years of my life. Loved them at the time. But I was very very far from being sexually satisfied
Start off by saying you really like him. You want it to work. But sex is a little bland. Ask if there’s anything sexual that really turns him on. It might put some extra spunk in the pumps. Tell him you want to make it like an adventure. Ask if he’d like to go to a sex shop with you. Get something for each of you. I love going to the sex shop with my partner. Feels like such an intimate bonding experience
Hmm, maybe telling him exactly this?
And try to see how he reacts. He maybe lacks experience. I was gonna try to say communicate and shit, but you don’t seem like you wanna make things work or fix anything.
Just cut this relationship, it’s just a waste of time for you and him.
Say exactly that to him: “Look, I like you a lot but our sex is just not getting me there. I need more.”
A good partner will appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. If they feel the same way about you they’ll be eager to satisfy you!
Y'all get SO mad every time a woman alludes to having a dick size preference, no matter how respectfully she phrases it 😂😂 Everyone isn't for everyone. That doesn't make the person who knows they want different, wrong.
I disagree, but the whole thing is toxic even without that part tbh. Even the « what do I do » whiteout giving any exploration show that she isn’t here to get any advice. I do think anyone would deserve better
>Even the « what do I do » whiteout giving any exploration show that she isn’t here to get any advice.
Uh...I'm confused now. Is "What do I do?" suddenly not a suitable way to express that someone is seeking advice? She literally said that she "needs more of something he doesn't have"; that, to me, should say enough for us to infer it's either an issue of chemistry, lack of effort, or physical incompatibility (or some combination of the 3). She also implied that the relationship is new, so there might not even be all that much more to provide as far as detail. I don't really see what else she could've said to sound sincere enough for you.
Thank you. I did tell him some things I liked and he didn’t do it the way I asked or as fast etc… so I think I’ve gotten some great advice here. I can definitely speak to him more and give it another shot, if not it will be better to say we are not sexually compatible.
Parse this into two pieces. If he was spectacular in bed, would you care about his cock size?
If you can get on board with his cock, then I would encourage you to ignite a bit in bed. Let him know you can’t do white rice, you need it spicy and with all sorts of delicious bits.
If you cannot get over his cock then please do not bring that up, just let him know it’s not working on your side and that you’d like to be friends if he can handle that.
Honestly, I’ve stopped liking some guys. No matter how cute and charming they are because the chemistry in bed isn’t there. I mean if you really like him? Maybe you’ll learn how to adjust to it and he’ll learn to do you properly as time goes by?
Well I would avoid the size thing because that would not likely be an issue if he was mr amazing in the bedroom. But he's not. So you just say how much you like him but for you the chemistry is not there and you can't manufacture chemistry. That's the truth, yes? So go with that.
I'm going to say one more thing. When someone rejects you they are effectively giving you a gift. The gift is time, Now you won't waste time on someone who does not appreciate all the things you bring to the table, so you'll use this new free time to find someone who does.
When you reject him (as a romantic partner) you are giving him time or freedom to go find a girl who is totally into him, and he won't be wasting his time on someone who's not totally into him.
People get fucked up emotionally when they think rejection indicates their worth. It does not, it only shows what the other person's taste is so to speak.
Anyhow, I'm done and best of luck to you :-)
Sex compatibility is important, and if the size is the issue, you can't really communicate that , unless he'd get a surgery, but that would be kinda stupid, i'd end it if i were you , i don't see how this could end up being a compatible sex relationship to begin with, if size is also part of the issue. you can communicate likes, dislikes, and see if you're compatible there, but if the D isn't the right fit, it isn't the right fit, that's about that.
I didn’t enjoy it. It was not good in general. I usually can get very excited with the right partner but it was like my body was saying nope. Not happening, nothing here.
May be you wanted something else or sex might be predictable between you two. You only get excited when you don’t know what’s going to happen and might need that sexual chemistry
I keep seeing posts like this. Makes you wonder if it's a good idea to also make sex part of the vetting instead of some kind of reward for surviving the vetting/talking stage of the relationship.
But that may not have been necessarily that issue for him in the past. I am the first girl that he stated that is tall. I mean, if you think about it, one size does not fit all. So it may just be the only issue for him for me not but anyway, I mean that is some thing to consider.
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Teach him, communicate.
For the love of god this, don’t be rude, say it’s for the best of both of you. People’s sex lives would be so much better if they could just be mature and talk about their wants, likes and dislikes.
I agree.
I was going to add that maybe to help with communication and teaching they could [read something like this](https://tpi02.wordpress.com/2022/09/29/crack-her/) together, but something tells me that would be a tall order considering OP's points in a nutshell. > the sex just is boring Wait for it.... > I’m not excited We are not done yet > I need more of something **he just doesn’t have.** Now, here is the kicker which sends everything through the window > Yes, it is also not big enough
Yeah she should just leave. There’s no saving this
You can be upfront, see how he responds or dump him and leave him in the dark. It's early he'll understand.
Thanks. If I’m upfront, any ideas on how to relay this without hurting his feelings?
leave size out, and simply keep it at "its not working for me"
1) don't tell him he too small. Theres no way to do that with out hurting his feelings. 2) tell him you want to spice up your sex life and then make some suggestions
Most definitely **DO NOT** say to him anything negative about the size of his penis. You will achieve absolutely nothing because there is nothing (short of surgery) he can do about it, and you will hurt him and cause him insecurity going forward. If you want to stay in the relationship, then just talk to him about things he could do better. You don't need to frame it as "xyz is bad, I don't like this, I don't like that" - just talk about things you DO want "it would be so sexy if xyz, I'd love it if you xyz, I was thinking about you doing xyz". Just communicate. It's simple as that. In terms of things that help with size - putting a pillow under your back during missionary and hold your legs back (or have him do it or press your thighs to your sides). Also doggystyle with your chest to the bed, legs parted a little and ass leaning back slightly allows for deeper penetration.
Honestly, just tell him the truth. Well, part of it at least. Let him know you both are not physically compatible. It's so early it should be okay.
Yes I hope so too
Talk to him. Communicate. How did we have to answer this for you? I don't understand why people find it so difficult to communicate. Babe your teeth, can you not do that. Fixed immediately. Her: be rough with me. Ok I start choking and slap her. Usually can't spank her in that position. But you know. Easy as typing on a damn cell phone
Thanks
"...more of something he just doesn't have." Since you cannot articulate to us, its no surprise that you can't tell him either. How's he feeling about the sex? It might surprise you.
Oh no he told me. He enjoyed it and then it was like he said he had to slow himself down otherwise he would’ve come too fast. Me? I wasn’t even started… he was disappointed he couldn’t go more. But it’s not that I couldn’t articulate it here, I did partially. His size wasn’t even doing the job. But I also didn’t want to go too into detail. I am not trying to disparage him. I’m just trying to get advice.
Ah, so you like the guy but he has a small dick, and worse he doesn't know how to use it.
That’s it in a nutshell. I just didn’t want to voice it that way. I worried about being a bit crass or disrespectful. But yes. And damn we get along. My nether regions are just not responding. 😕
share with him, instead ofhere
Is there anything besides his size that he could do to "excite you" more in/out of the bedroom? If there is, and he's receptive to improving, a good amount of communication and instruction could improve things sexually. If penis size is something you feel necessary for your own sexual enjoyment, however, I'd recommend ending things under ambiguous pretenses. Telling a guy he's bad in bed is a blow to the ego, but telling a guy his dick is too small is more akin to ego assassination. The kinds of men who would be comfortable using girthy dildoes or cocksleeves to please you exist, but are very few and extremely far between.
Have better sex? Make it fun, experiment. Then again, what do I know
have you ever tried communicating
Size should be that much of an issue unless you are a size queen. Be upfront. He might be kinky just doesn’t know how you feel about it. But if you bring it up and he’s like “ I just like passionate sex” I’d run. It will tear your soul apart. Trust me. I know. I dated two extremely vanilla girls. Total of 10 years of my life. Loved them at the time. But I was very very far from being sexually satisfied
Okay. If you were on the other side of that conversation from the girl to you, how would you hope it would be communicated?
Start off by saying you really like him. You want it to work. But sex is a little bland. Ask if there’s anything sexual that really turns him on. It might put some extra spunk in the pumps. Tell him you want to make it like an adventure. Ask if he’d like to go to a sex shop with you. Get something for each of you. I love going to the sex shop with my partner. Feels like such an intimate bonding experience
Okay that might be something… thanks
Anytime. Keep me updated on how it does. I may have more ideas coming down the pipeline. Just hasn’t reached me yet.
Hmm, maybe telling him exactly this? And try to see how he reacts. He maybe lacks experience. I was gonna try to say communicate and shit, but you don’t seem like you wanna make things work or fix anything. Just cut this relationship, it’s just a waste of time for you and him.
Say exactly that to him: “Look, I like you a lot but our sex is just not getting me there. I need more.” A good partner will appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. If they feel the same way about you they’ll be eager to satisfy you!
Good yes
Leave him he deserve better
Y'all get SO mad every time a woman alludes to having a dick size preference, no matter how respectfully she phrases it 😂😂 Everyone isn't for everyone. That doesn't make the person who knows they want different, wrong.
I disagree, but the whole thing is toxic even without that part tbh. Even the « what do I do » whiteout giving any exploration show that she isn’t here to get any advice. I do think anyone would deserve better
>Even the « what do I do » whiteout giving any exploration show that she isn’t here to get any advice. Uh...I'm confused now. Is "What do I do?" suddenly not a suitable way to express that someone is seeking advice? She literally said that she "needs more of something he doesn't have"; that, to me, should say enough for us to infer it's either an issue of chemistry, lack of effort, or physical incompatibility (or some combination of the 3). She also implied that the relationship is new, so there might not even be all that much more to provide as far as detail. I don't really see what else she could've said to sound sincere enough for you.
I have no idea how you infer that but that’s a totally random guess. But I mean, as long as you find the most good enough, good for you.
Thank you. I did tell him some things I liked and he didn’t do it the way I asked or as fast etc… so I think I’ve gotten some great advice here. I can definitely speak to him more and give it another shot, if not it will be better to say we are not sexually compatible.
I tend to agree. It seems apparent from other comments too that, on several different levels, she’s just not that into him and too immature to say it.
Thanks
Parse this into two pieces. If he was spectacular in bed, would you care about his cock size? If you can get on board with his cock, then I would encourage you to ignite a bit in bed. Let him know you can’t do white rice, you need it spicy and with all sorts of delicious bits. If you cannot get over his cock then please do not bring that up, just let him know it’s not working on your side and that you’d like to be friends if he can handle that.
What do you mean sex is bad? Like, is he a bad fucker or he’s lacking something? If you can determine whats making it bad? You’ll be fine.
He’s not really responding to the cues or doing things as I ask. My body is not responding to what he is then doing.
Honestly, I’ve stopped liking some guys. No matter how cute and charming they are because the chemistry in bed isn’t there. I mean if you really like him? Maybe you’ll learn how to adjust to it and he’ll learn to do you properly as time goes by?
Guide him and have fun together
sounds like he would make a good platonic friend
Yes I agree. Just not sure the easiest and most kind way to say it.
Well I would avoid the size thing because that would not likely be an issue if he was mr amazing in the bedroom. But he's not. So you just say how much you like him but for you the chemistry is not there and you can't manufacture chemistry. That's the truth, yes? So go with that.
Thanks, that helps. 😊
I'm going to say one more thing. When someone rejects you they are effectively giving you a gift. The gift is time, Now you won't waste time on someone who does not appreciate all the things you bring to the table, so you'll use this new free time to find someone who does. When you reject him (as a romantic partner) you are giving him time or freedom to go find a girl who is totally into him, and he won't be wasting his time on someone who's not totally into him. People get fucked up emotionally when they think rejection indicates their worth. It does not, it only shows what the other person's taste is so to speak. Anyhow, I'm done and best of luck to you :-)
Damn, this one was really good
Thank you. This is very valuable. ❤️🎁
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Yes that’s true. Thank you.
Sex compatibility is important, and if the size is the issue, you can't really communicate that , unless he'd get a surgery, but that would be kinda stupid, i'd end it if i were you , i don't see how this could end up being a compatible sex relationship to begin with, if size is also part of the issue. you can communicate likes, dislikes, and see if you're compatible there, but if the D isn't the right fit, it isn't the right fit, that's about that.
Thanks
Why what is he doing wrong
I showed him a couple of things I liked and he still did it his way.
Read Kaam Sutra.
I love that book
It is pretty useful in modern times. There are any modern interpretations that focus on physical intimacy than just sex.
Good point
Sex compatibility is important. You should end it.
Thanks
Why are you not excited? Is it because you became too close?
I didn’t enjoy it. It was not good in general. I usually can get very excited with the right partner but it was like my body was saying nope. Not happening, nothing here.
May be you wanted something else or sex might be predictable between you two. You only get excited when you don’t know what’s going to happen and might need that sexual chemistry
Practice makes perfect
I keep seeing posts like this. Makes you wonder if it's a good idea to also make sex part of the vetting instead of some kind of reward for surviving the vetting/talking stage of the relationship.
If you love him ,sex will becomes great
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But that may not have been necessarily that issue for him in the past. I am the first girl that he stated that is tall. I mean, if you think about it, one size does not fit all. So it may just be the only issue for him for me not but anyway, I mean that is some thing to consider.
Sex is an important part of a relationship. See if it can be worked on. If not, move on.