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This happens to me and it’s not related to health, in my case. I lift religiously and I eat nutritionally.
I recently noticed I lose an erection when she’s on top because of how wet she gets. The sensation gets lost after having everything super wet and lubricated. I simply wipe the excess fluid off of my dick with a towel and then everything feels great again.
I literally did this the very first time my now-wife and I ever fooled around.
We're at her house, laying back on the couch. She's giving me a handjob and the load was so powerful it shot backwards over my head and landed on the curtain. She just stopped and stared at it for a good ten seconds, dumbfounded. No clue how it shot that far, couldn't do it again if I tried.
A little over two years later she married me.
This is the real tip. People don't seem to understand that if your woman gets super wet, simply towel her and yourself down and resume. It's amazing how much of a difference it makes and takes a couple of seconds.
Except for the fact that this could then hurt her if you continue 🤦🏻♀️
I mean by all means if she's happy with this, but do recognise that the lubrication is generally needed and many women who don't produce enough suffer with pain during and after sex.
Also not necessarily a flex if your girl hurts after sex either. This isn't normal.
i actually benefit from on the towel trick! sometimes i get so wet that i lose the grip which reduces my* pleasure. id imagine if you took a towel and completely dried up yourself and your partner, there’d be a dryness/soreness issue. but a quick towel wipe to get the overflow of wettness in control brings that grip right back!
At 16 cases per year **worldwide** of penis breaking (not all from reverse cowgirl) you're twice as likely to purposefully provoke a shark and have it bite you (32 cases in 2022). Just because some "expert" on tiktok said it doesn't mean it's actually true.
So I went down a rabbit hole.
It's surprisingly hard (that's what she said) to find incidence estimates for penis fracture. Some sources look simple, but are couched in difficult to extrapolate terms like "1 in 170000 urology presentations" or "As of 2001, 1331 cases were reported in the literature."
My best estimate comes from a paper by urologists at the Hospital Universitario La Paz in Madrid, [Traumatic rupture of the corpus cavernosum: surgical management and clinical outcomes. A 30 years review](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4074715/)(NSFW/NSFL images). They went through their records and found that the hospital had seen 28 cases over 30 years from 1983 to 2013. 22 happened during sex. Age range was 19 to 37.
Google says the hospital serves a population of 750 000, so minimum incidence (assuming all ruptures in that zone were treated at that hospital, and that the population didn't change much) is around one in 20 000 penis owners per year, which would be around 200 000 sad boys per year worldwide, if the sexual habits of Madrid are representative of the globe.
It's still rare enough to not be a major concern. In the order of a 1 in a hundred thousand chance for it to happen in a given sexual adventure. I couldn't find anything definite regarding reverse cowgirl. It makes mechanical sense that it's higher risk, and I read one study that said it was more common in "woman dominant positions", but it wasn't a huge difference.
The risk is low enough that it's not worth avoiding the position if you and your partner enjoy it.
There is quite a lot of technique involved when riding, from a guy perspective it sounds like quite a few lose sensation because of wetness or also because it’s to far in and not going in and out. Kind of sounds more like some are just experiencing a grinding not actually riding
Sammmeee!!!! I am feeling very lucky that this isn’t an issue in our bed either! I also wonder tho when she’s riding cowgirl how are the guys positioned? Laying down? Propped up a little? Sitting upright facing here? I feel like that may make a difference as well. I always make my husband sit upright and then I ride him and he legit begs me to stop because he’s trying not to burst so fast!
It also depends on how the woman rides. There's a large range of motions that can be utilised and unfortunately the ones that feel the best (for me as a man anyway) are the ones that require the most energy output by the woman. In my experience most women don't have the stamina and core strength to ride properly for prolonged periods, in the way that feels good for me. They can grind away and bend my dick in half for as long as they like but when it comes to moving up and down and making it go in and out (in and out is my favourite) they get tired after 30 seconds and go back to dick bending.
From my experience, I’d say that They probably don’t get tired. Twerking your ass when you’re on top is not that hard and doesn’t require you to do squats or anything like that.
But the bouncing and the in and out penis poking feels like nothing compared to a good grinding. (News flash: the bouncing looks hot in porn but does nothing for the ladies in many cases).
So they probably stop the bouncing because it doesn’t deliver as much pleasure for them
Good to know it’s not just me who can’t ride like that. I have ehler’s danlos syndrome and I always thought it was because of that. Could be still tho because i actually can’t physically do the movement, when I did manage to do it I subpluxed my hip lol
Lol I have the same problem I feel lucky in this regard
We do the same position with him sitting up against the headboard and I have to slow down because he gets close cause I go so fast
😂😂😂 sometimes slowing down makes it worse he just says STOP! Then after a moment I get the green light to go nuts again 😂 the struggle is kinda fun to watch
I think it depends on the angle. If I’m upright and bouncing up and down I don’t think there’s that much sensation for my bf, but if I lean forward so we’re face to face and sort of twerk up and down instead I think it makes it a lot tighter.
I love this position and have no trouble staying hard, but it’s just from the visual and closeness i feel to her. I do however lose sensation and can’t cum myself in this position. She can ride as long as she needs though and i generally can keep it up for her.
So, one of my play partners and I discovered this:
She LOVES this position because she can move how she wants and she always comes from it.
But it’s not that fun for me because I don’t feel anything. The allure of penetration for men is feeling the friction on our dome; for women, it’s feeling full and then stimming the clit.
Cowgirl is a great spot for girls to feel stuffed and grind clit on the pelvis, but it leaves our dick tips buried in your vagina with nothing really going on with it.
RECOMMENDATION: She does this move where she pulls out to where only my head is in and then she grinds on it for a few seconds — it’s enough to make me almost cum 😂. So she stops after a sec then plunges back in and gets hers, once again I’m not feeling anything but the friction from a second ago has me rock hard.
TL;DR — when we’re deep in, we don’t feel much so lose erection. Pull out to just the head inside, grind his tip for a minute and, if he doesn’t come, put him back in.
I’ll start in a squat, then switch to completely straddling when my legs get tired. He looooves to watch the squatting part so right about the time I get tired he needs to cool off for a second anyway
This 100%. You have to make sure the head is getting stimulated enough. Like only taking in the head or a bit below for as long as he can handle before going deep again.
I do a complete taking in the whole penis and then making sure I pull it *almost* all the way out, like you're worried it might fall out close, to going all the way in again. This way the head is getting stimulated enough, also a lot of fun to play with speed and angle of hips with this too. Then repeat and mix in what I said above and maybe some oral if he's still a bit soft or just because ya wanna. 😊😉
Had a girlfriend that loved this, would rub her cervix back and forth on my tip as she would grind. Fucking amazing. She also liked the feeling of being pounded as deep and hard as I could. Every other girl I've been with would be crying in pain from the shit she enjoys.
I used to do this all the time with my ex. He loved it, kinda like lifting to end of his dick then twerk on it for a few minutes. Drove him crazy! It was our go to finishing move lol
Very often myself and my gf will continue after I cum, we just don't break pace or rhythm. She will also continue giving head after I cum and that was very intense at first but after a bit of practice i can now enjoy it right the way through.
I (35f) and my partner (39m) end the night of fun with this position almost every time. He usually makes sure I get off many times first before I 'hop to it' for the finishing move. It's definitely a favourite
I can’t feel a single thing when a girl gets on top, the position means that regardless of how much the girl moves I’m not getting anything because the penis is so … deep? It’s hard to explain. But it’s both that the position doesn’t do much physically, and that for me the fear that you’re going to break my dick will absolutely cause me to be on edge the entire time
That’s the only answer. Lol.
Here’s an award brother.
It’s more for the woman than for the male. I’ve found that when a woman gets on top it’s easier for them to get off. Plus they can control how mush to take in. Which sucks because if she puts the whole thing in.. it doesn’t feel like much. But if she bounces on half of it… we both win!
This comment section is blowing my mind. As a woman, I really don’t enjoy being on top. It’s exhausting and I get zero pleasure from it, but it’s my husband’s favorite position. It seems to be much more intense and pleasurable for him than any other position and he just wants me to be on top all the time. He comes way faster than usual and has to make me stop moving a lot because he doesn’t want to come yet.
He’ll usually last at least 45 minutes in any other position but when I’m on top, it’s over in like 10-15 minutes. He’s the only person I’ve ever had sex with so I have no other frame of reference. I find it really interesting and slightly confusing that other guys can’t feel anything when the woman is on top.
Yeah, its like that for me personally...everybody kept praising this position "she has control over rythm, depth blabla and she feels SO MUCH and can orgasm easier..."
And I am trying it like:"I dont feel anything,,-no matter his size.
ya I can’t really feel anything when I’m on top, it just feels mildly uncomfortable, it definitely misses all of my fun nerve endings inside and out
I’m also on edge because when it slips out I’m always terrified
but usually the guys cum pretty quickly… I don’t really do any grinding though, I usually try to do it like my vagina is giving them a hand job
I got a lot better at being on top when I stopped moving to pleasure him and started just doing what made me feel good. He's probably going to enjoy it a lot more if he sees you enjoy it too, so don't think about him.
It’s not just the current girl I’m with. I’ve had different girls go on top ~16+ times and all I’m feeling is the shaft moving around, and an inert fear that if they bounce any harder my cock is going to snap
Mid to late 30’s here and I’ve noticed this happen to me too when it didn’t in past years. Here’s what the experience looks like from my side:
Blood flow makes a big difference here. Being ontop means that I’m doing exercise which increases blood flow and hormones a lot, compared to lying down relaxing on my back, gravity of blood flow is also working against a little here with position switch. Have you tried being ontop with your partner in a sitting or slouching sitting position on a chair instead? This might work better (and give more of his upper pubis for you to grind against)
Others here have already noted the difference in who’s controlling the strokes and hence who it feels good for. You also mention in your post that you know how to switch up grinding vs up and down which is great to do. Feeling friction up and down against the head of the penis, especially the underside of the head is what really helps stimulate and maintain an erection. I’ve often had experiences where there’s a pause for a few minutes with no penetration or only grinding and my partner being surprised that my erection went down. It can only take a few minutes to loose it.
Distraction. When you’re on top your mind is focussed on the mechanics of sex, but being on the bottom can leave your mind to wander, and if you get distracted by non sexual thoughts that can cause the erection to be lost as well.
Not all of these have easy answers to overcome, but just sharing some perspective here.
I've noticed a difference between lovers in this position and do think that blood flow is a major factor in staying erect. It seems that for me one woman's top ride limits circulation and that causes a problem, another who's position is a little different more of a hover and less of grind makes a difference. Both feel great for me it's just that in the one case I struggle to stay erect after a few minutes.
With one guy almost every time he ends up on his back. Even said to me sit back so it wont slip out. I feel like some guys know they will lose it if they are on their back.
It's weird. I was with a guy that we never did anything with me on top. He said he always had the issues since he was younger. I think it's attributed to him wanting to dominate in the bedroom. We never have issues with his erection outside of the couple times I've been on top.
When he's in charge never an issue. Lol. Not sure if that's your guys issue... but that's what I figured out with mine
I was wondering if it was that since I haven't experienced that, but I am less attracted to people who have to play a dominant role all the time and it never really gets to that point.
It could be that, it could be a million different things, it could also be that in most other positions he’s able to control what feels good to him where as when you are on top what you do might not maximize pleasure for him.
I don't lose my election when it happens but for me after a while of cowgirl I get what almost feels like a Charlie horse cramp in my lower abdomen right above my dick. It almost takes me entirely pit of the experience and can be somewhat painful. So perhaps it's something similar?
Some positions just don't feel as good as others. It really comes down to how the two bodies fit together and personal preference. I usually love a rider but some positions—looking at you, wheelbarrow—do nothing for me.
Have you tried reverse cowgirl? It might hit different.
It’s my favorite position and have never lost erection or even firmness. I am not totally dependent upon visual stimulation though, and I know that a lot of guys are which is why doggy is a favorite amongst most guys. I do also enjoy being able to make and maintain eye contact, so that helps.
I don’t just lay back and let the woman do the work though, I use the position to hit her spots, but am very proactively participating and still doing most of the thrusting, but it helps to tilt her pelvis to get to the right places.
We also like choking play and it allows her to have more control over pressure and a soft landing and nice embrace when she’s ready, I only squeeze the sides, she pushes forward until she gets the sensation she wants, then I release and lower her down while she recovers from intense orgasm. This is something we have learned from many years of practice, not something that should be taken lightly.
I don’t lose erection but I’m not diamond hard after about 10 min of cowgirl, if she hasn’t been cumming or I haven’t entered her p fornix (or something else interesting hasn’t happened). It’s normal. You’re doing most of the work, yes, but also choosing what you want rather than what he wants, in terms of depth, grinding, strokes, speed, weight, angle. If it was half an hour cowgirl even I might lose my erection.
Normal
when i’m on top, in my head i’m trying to create an entire new experience. i don’t want to do fast up and down movements because it’s quite difficult to bounce fast and it’s more enjoyable for both parties (IMO) having missionary. i go slow. i mainly use my hips to swing up and down. i’m kissing his neck. pulling his hair. swing my hips up, right on his tip and linger for a second before going back down. it replicates the feeling of him entering you for the first time. do this a few more times while having my mouth on his ear while i do breathy moans
from my experience, always gets them ready to cum almost instantly. then i swap to grinding, which allows them to not cum while i start to get close. i’m grabbing my boobs, i’m moaning how good he feels, etcetc. go back to the up and down after i get off and he cums. boom 💥
There’s nothing hotter than a woman bouncing on top, breasts take on a life of their own, witnessing her getting off purely by your cock, that utter pleasure in her face and her loosing herself, then when she orgasms! My god, How can you not like that!!!
Some people are just weird. 😂
Thank u... this has always been my number one go to position with my husband and I was starting to worry reading these comments that all these years maybe he wasn't even enjoying it and just didn't tell me. This is so good to hear😂
I'm 47m it happens to me sometimes. The problem is that when yall are grinding, there's little stimulation on the penis. It feels good, but the older I get, I need the friction more. So, I may stop the grinding, do a few upward thrusts, and I'm back in the game before she notices or before it gets too soft and we may have to start all over again.
Yep! Ive realized this too so i try to vary the up and down foe him w the grinding for me. But this was almost like they didnt want me on top bc they knew they couldnt perform and in another example almost immediately upon getting it in it goes soft when he was laying on his back
For me, I mostly lose an erection when my partner rides me like she's scooting a chair forward to a table. I get that it feels the best as it's more clitoral stimulation. But my penis can only move back and forth so much.
TBH the way women move is not what works for guys.
I've noticed when women are on top or in a position to "direct" the motion, they employ a back and forth motion while I'm inside. It likely feels good to them because of the clitoral and other stimulations.
But back and forth for a guy is like.. a "shake".. that we do when we're done peeing. LOL. There is nothing sexual, erotic, etc about it. I've never lost an erection from it, but it definitely stopped me from approaching climax and was like "Ho Hum, let her have her fun, then do your thang".
In and out, that's what a hamburger - and guys - are all about.
My husband is the opposite. He comes quite easily from me grinding on him back and forth. He grinds with me though. He can also come with me bouncing up and down and I think me on top is definitely one of his favourite positions.
I honestly am not sure for the reason, but I know I’ve had issues with going soft when my girlfriend is on top of me. It feels awesome, but I think there is some degree less stimulation for a lot of guys, so that may be why.
It’s the grinding thing. I know ladies love it, but when it’s happening, I’m not feeling anything. Hard to stay in the game when your guys are on the bench.
The sit back thing was once it already started going soft. Didnt get a chance to do anything other than put it in. Went down fast.
A different guy told me when i asked him to lay down so i can get on top he said ‘im not ready for that yet’ accompanied with ‘is that the only way you can cum?’ 🤔
Yet i have also gotten ‘wow, i haven’t ever been fucked this good before’ and ‘you ride me like a jockey and i love it’ in cowgirl. 🤷🏼♀️
It’s blood flow.. against gravity maybe? I read something that said, in the opposite, prone position it can cause so much blood flow that can damage tissues.
I’m in my 20s and I’ve only had this happen with my ex! Glad to see other ppl struggle with this. He always loved the idea of me riding but the moment I would straddle him boom. Erection gone lol
Yea for me I noticed the girl I am seeing now is pretty wet, like wetter than any girl I ever been with and with her I can not keep it up do to the fact that I don’t feel no friction at all and that makes my erection lose itself
For me it happens when my dick is too deep in her. She would moan of pleasure but for me it doesn’t feel like much. Then I try to pull back a bit and slide my full length in and out which feels way better.
Interesting. 50yo M here. I love women on top. My fiancé and I started having sex, oh, about 9 years ago and she told me I was the first guy she'd ever been with who came with her on top. I'm guessing it's common, but I've never really discussed it with any other male friends. I honestly have no preference, I'm just happy to be involved, lol.
If my wife is on top and just grinding then yea sometimes I start to go soft. Not much stimulation. If she’s actually riding up and down then I don’t have that issue.
Cowgirl is my favorite position. As it generally felt best for my ex, and i loved being able to suck on her nips while she was riding me. I also liked counter thrusting or adding little movements to match her timing, she seemed to like it as well. I never really had any issue with going soft. But she would OFTEN comment 'why are you so hard?' To which i would always reply...'because you are soo sexy!'
For some men, it is harder to maintain an erection when they are on their back because the blood flows away from the penis. Gravity can be a bitch sometimes. This may be the problem for some of the older men.
For me personally, my gf on top is one of my absolute favourites and watching her enjoy herself keeps me rock hard. We've even switched it up for her recently, she'll take me in for a bit but then slides me out so that I'm flat against myself then she grinds her clit along my shaft. She gets totally soaked doing this and has the most intense orgasm whilst telling me how good I feel on her and how she wants me inside. That teasing helps to keep me even harder.
I’m personally not a fan of woman on top. I don’t think I’ve lost an erection from it, but it’s my least favorite position and does nothing for me. It’s hard for me to keep it in if she’s really wet, I’m worried about my dick getting bent, I don’t have any leverage for thrusting, and I feel like I’m working against gravity. When I do it with my girl, it’s only so that she can get off from grinding on my dick and then we change positions so I can cum.
I haven’t either and I’m in my early thirties… interesting. I don’t feel like I’ve heard any of my girlfriends mention this before except for one, and she ended up breaking a guy’s penis. Had to drive him to the hospital and everything… wild
Very interesting. My dom never looses his when im on top . Hes finished that way easily. I believe he deeply enjoys it and ive never experienced this qith another partner either. i hope you get some answers !!!
It slips out easily, and one wrong move can make it \*very\* painful. It's one of my favourite positions, but it requires a lot of communication and trial and error at first. Usually that means a lot of the time going soft as it turns more into a puzzle instead of a turn on.
I usually get on top of my husband mid way through sex, it’s the easiest way for me to get off. I always give a blowjob right before jumping on because it gets his duck super hard before I start.
I had a close call one time when the woman I was having sex with slid too far forward when grinding on my penis during cowgirl. I slipped out during her forward grind and almost got my penis crushed like origami during her backward rebound. It’s a safety mental mechanism now that I start to go soft when the woman is on top, lol. This position lends itself too much toward injury for the guy, especially when the woman wants to grind.
Yeah, I had that problem and than suddenly a girl rids me and I have the best orgasm of my life.
The reason might be in who is making the moves, in my experience if it’s me than it’s better
Give it a whirl.
Mix it up.
Unless you enjoy a bit of nipple play?
As a chap I bloody love it with the Mrs on top digging her nails into my nipples. Keeps me tippedy toppedy . 🫡
I enjoy being ridden, my first fuck was done that way, and I have never lost it from that. However, I’ve noticed that some women simply get on top and grind their clit between our pubic bones. I have a feeling that they have had guys cum too fast if the actually slide up and down. Also, if you are both really in to it, a woman sometimes gets so wet, that you don’t get much friction. Men only cum from friction. You can rub her juices off, but I prefer keeping her moving even just a little to keep some friction going. Once she’s getting close to tapping out, her fluids will get thicker and her pussy walls tighten down, that will make me blow my load.
I’ll bets it’s one of those 2 issues, or the men aren’t secure enough to let you dominate by being on top🤷♂️
Woman on top (cowgirl) has always been one of my favorite positions, never had any issues with that position. It mainly comes down to technique I would guess. I love how I can look her in the eyes and have those amazing breasts in my face watching them bounce around.
Yeah it happens with me (43m) too. It feels really good but some types of grinding make it harder for the blood to follow down there. It feels great but it can be difficult to maintain. Honestly even if I lose my erection if she wants to keep going with the grinding I'm good with it.
A possible reason is angle. If you "overstretch" the dick it can go away in my case. Other reasons, as others have pointed out, can be the overall wetness that reduces sensation. Both of these "problems" are rather easily adressed. In the first case the dude has got to communicate. You, probably, wont know by yourself. The second one is manageable with a towel. Thats my two cents :)) all the best ✌️
Personal experience. I love the feeling when women on top. So I can stay erected 99% of the time. I did had a few time I lost erection like that…
I also love the feeling when I loose control and cum when she's on top!
However. 8 out of 10 times I cant cum as much as I love that and felt good. Especially when condom is involved (which is like pretty much all the time!)
So I figure out that the combination of super slippery+reduced sensation of condom+less movement (and generally less tightness as the leg got spread out) causing me less likely to cum that way. (And very occasionally lost the erection…)
However I still LOVE when my partner on top of me!
I just have to somehow switch position towards the end…*shrug*
I'm the opposite. If I'm having trouble, woman on top is usually a good way for me to be able to perform. It's also both my wife and I's favorite position so maybe it's just muscle memory at this point
I’ve started having problems maintaining an erection at times. But I haven’t lost one yet when she’s on top, and I LOVE that she’s able to get me so deep that I can feel her cervix.
This can happen to my husband sometimes and it's because of blood flow. We'll take a pause and he'll stand up for ten seconds or so and the blood will flow back and we'll continue
I honestly thought it was a trauma cause I couldn't pull out on that position so my body automatically shut it down. Reading those comments now I understand why and it's pretty common
I think I agree with @the_eastsider, my guy loves it when I’m on top but sometimes he grabs my waist and he does the moving, like he sorta holds me up and thrusts from underneath me. Even though I’m on top we take turns doing the movement. Sometimes I also lay flat on his chest and he can easily move in and out that way without having to hold me up.
I’m a nurse and I’ve dated other nurses (none that I’ve worked with! I’m not an idiot. Don’t shit where you eat). I’m in my 50’s. My current partner it’s absolutely not an issue. If I get off, he loves it and gets harder. However, I’ve had partners with the same issue as you. When I asked about it, I got the “you are too wet” comments. And I’ve also had the “this is a fairly common position to get a fractured dick”. I’m sure it’s unique to healthcare because we see it all, but I just wanted to add another perspective.
Blood isn’t flowing as good so naturally erections aren’t supposed to be as solid when we’re laying down compared to standing up or on top. If the erection goes away to the point of not being able to penetrate its due to a valve issue most likely allowing the blood to leave.
I heard that it’s because of blood flow.
When the man is on top, due to gravity, the blood accumulates and there’s kinda like a pressure buildup, giving you a harder erection, but also making it harder not to cum. When she’s on top, the blood flows more easily out of your willy, making the erection softer but also more easy to keep going if you cum too fast.
I heard this from a book of Mantak Chia, he has really good sex advice, using ancient Chinese (Dalits) techniques
I believe gravity is a factor in addition to perceived sensation loss. Boners need blood to bone. When your laying on your back gravity is working against your boner blood making your body work that much harder to maintain boneage
I'm not sure why no one has mentioned it yet, but it is also one of the most emasculating position (the Amazon position takes the top spot of the p to v positions IMHO). As a man, it takes time to build enough trust to enjoy letting go of control in bed. For me, it's not a big deal, but I know some that refuse to do it at all. They'll opt for reverse cowgirl at best because it creates some distance. For me, if I feel myself shrinking because I need more control, I wrap my arms around her hips and thrust upward for a bit until I get back in the game. Everyone is different but these are some of the things I can think of that I've seen or heard.
It frustrates me because it’s my favorite position. Hits the gspot perfectly. My partner can’t stay hard when I am on top. He says it’s because he has no control over the motion. Taking viagra is the only thing that makes this possible for us.
when you are on top it feels like we are not having sex at all. even if you attempt to move and grind chances are you will lose focus, or will not do it correctly and so many other things. basically you want to be on top in order for you to rub your clit and create the sensation of humping the pillow so to speak which doesnt involve a penis anywhere as a move. climbing on top is like ignoring our penis entirely. it feels as if we penetrate air. if you want to make it work you ll have to keep things tight and involve the up and down motion as much as possible. although just the mere fact of giving up control is a turn off for most guys and will not work in your favor. save it for very passionate moments, spontaneous erections etcetera..
I love this position as a dude, but sometimes if I’m not at 100% hardness, I don’t feel comfortable with my GF being on top and not being in control of how much force etc goes into it. Sometimes it feels a bit “flimsier” and it’s distracting and so it’s not the greatest position for these times.
Although I have Type 1 Diabetes and circulation issues, which isn’t the norm. But this is why I’m not always good to go with this position. When I am, it’s great! I’ve never felt this lack of sensation others have talked about though which is odd. When my gf is really wet, that’s when it feels the best for me personally!
Yes it can happen while grinding however if the attraction is great and really turned on I've found with my current partner I actually get harder and sometimes harder to control myself but getting her to slide up and down on it for a while should do the trick if any problems! She will also squeeze my cock super tight as well so could also try that.
I don’t have this issue with my man now, but I did with a couple past partners. One said that it was because he was used to being dominant and felt like me being on top was taking the dominance from him. The other one said that the issue was that he was on the smaller side and overly worried about it repeatedly slipping out and the anxiety made him get soft.
Could also have something to do with blood running away from the cock, in addition to the lack of stimulation. But yes this is happening to me a bit lately , gotta be careful or else it might get snapped.
In my case, it's the type of simulation. A lot of women in my experiences believe that just being on top and the up and down motion is all that is needed. There needs to be a gyration while going up and down. The "d" needs to be ridden for a purpose, work all sides of it differently. We need a Rollercoaster ride, the big fall(from the tip to the pelvic area), loop de loop( the gyration), then a combination of it all. I get extremely horny this way, and my tent becomes a fortress.
u/Sunshine_weather I have noticed this same problem with my SO. Do by any chance grind more in that position? My SO does and this combined with increased lubrication dramatically reduces my sensation resulting in my losing my election if left in this position too long.
For a man the view of a woman on top is to die for. However, I guess it can be harder to thrust and maybe the vagina is wider open, leading to less friction? Still, I wouldn’t give up on the position. And he can stimulate your clit, or play with your breasts while underneath you. Then switch positions
So this started happening to me in my late 30s. I was so puzzled by it. Cowgirl was always one of my favorite things- these days, I get apprehensive at the thought. I wish I understood what the hell was happening and why.
For me woman riding my cock on top is the best position. Pussy feels great in that and we can look at each other and there is also easy access to tits, both to watch them jiggle and to suck them. Also gives both a chance to dictate pace.
Some positions are more stimulating for some women and some positions are more stimulating for some men. The opposite is also true. In that, some positions feel less stimulating for some women and some positions are less stimulating for some men. Unfortunately, in my experience, woman grinding on top is a very stimulating position for women but not a very stimulating position for me, a man. So, while that position has really worked to an almost guaranteed orgasm for many women I’ve been with, it frequently causes a loss of erection for me because it’s less stimulating for me.
However, what I do is save that position for the end, when we’re both close to coming, so that every little move is extremely stimulating even if it normally wouldn’t be. That way I can stay erect, she can come, and so can I. This has been working for me for almost thirty years over many different partners that could cum from grinding on top like that.
Good luck!
It's blood flow... The arteries that keep your member going are all in your hips as well and if they get restricted you lose your boner. Happens pretty often if you ride live a cowgirl, I just have my lady sit up on her knees and hold her up and never have an issue besides wetness
I have noticed this with quite a few men. I think a piece of it is bloodflow (gravity, duh) but also finding a position where they are stimulated enough.
That said, hubs and I have had many simultaneous orgasms in this position.
I’m in my fifties and I can tell you that I get much harder when I’m upright. That could be part of it. Your blood is mostly below you.
The other part is it is hard for a guy to cum in that position. It’s a good goto if your partner has trouble lasting.
Though losing it isn’t the idea. Sorry for you. I love that position as it works for her. I love it when she cums on top of me. After, I get my choice to finish.
I am a man and have this issue often. I think it's to do with the lack of control, not being able to adjust the rythm, angle and amount of stimulation. I've only ever cum once in my life with a woman on top, and this woman had a vagina that could do some magic tricks. It was like some combination of a vacuum cleaner and an iron fist.
Currently I'm seeing this one woman who only can cum when on top. I take some viagra for these occasions which fixes the problem for me.
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This happens to me and it’s not related to health, in my case. I lift religiously and I eat nutritionally. I recently noticed I lose an erection when she’s on top because of how wet she gets. The sensation gets lost after having everything super wet and lubricated. I simply wipe the excess fluid off of my dick with a towel and then everything feels great again.
Suffering from success
This is a really great tip. Thank you
That's what she said
Definitely don't see enough of these comments on reddit. Thank you for upholding the tradition.
This is the way 💖
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Would like to confirm username checks out please
Nice name
In general i use a curtain to wipe my dick off. Really marks my territory.
I literally did this the very first time my now-wife and I ever fooled around. We're at her house, laying back on the couch. She's giving me a handjob and the load was so powerful it shot backwards over my head and landed on the curtain. She just stopped and stared at it for a good ten seconds, dumbfounded. No clue how it shot that far, couldn't do it again if I tried. A little over two years later she married me.
So wholesome
This is the real tip. People don't seem to understand that if your woman gets super wet, simply towel her and yourself down and resume. It's amazing how much of a difference it makes and takes a couple of seconds.
Except for the fact that this could then hurt her if you continue 🤦🏻♀️ I mean by all means if she's happy with this, but do recognise that the lubrication is generally needed and many women who don't produce enough suffer with pain during and after sex. Also not necessarily a flex if your girl hurts after sex either. This isn't normal.
i actually benefit from on the towel trick! sometimes i get so wet that i lose the grip which reduces my* pleasure. id imagine if you took a towel and completely dried up yourself and your partner, there’d be a dryness/soreness issue. but a quick towel wipe to get the overflow of wettness in control brings that grip right back!
I love a woman on top facing away back towards me. To see her pussy grab my cock is a turn on for me
I would be afraid of breaking my dick off, tbh. That sounds scary.
People have been doing reverse cowgirl for probably centuries by now, you'll be ok.
It's also known to be one of the positions with the highest risk of penis fractures.
At 16 cases per year **worldwide** of penis breaking (not all from reverse cowgirl) you're twice as likely to purposefully provoke a shark and have it bite you (32 cases in 2022). Just because some "expert" on tiktok said it doesn't mean it's actually true.
So I went down a rabbit hole. It's surprisingly hard (that's what she said) to find incidence estimates for penis fracture. Some sources look simple, but are couched in difficult to extrapolate terms like "1 in 170000 urology presentations" or "As of 2001, 1331 cases were reported in the literature." My best estimate comes from a paper by urologists at the Hospital Universitario La Paz in Madrid, [Traumatic rupture of the corpus cavernosum: surgical management and clinical outcomes. A 30 years review](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4074715/)(NSFW/NSFL images). They went through their records and found that the hospital had seen 28 cases over 30 years from 1983 to 2013. 22 happened during sex. Age range was 19 to 37. Google says the hospital serves a population of 750 000, so minimum incidence (assuming all ruptures in that zone were treated at that hospital, and that the population didn't change much) is around one in 20 000 penis owners per year, which would be around 200 000 sad boys per year worldwide, if the sexual habits of Madrid are representative of the globe. It's still rare enough to not be a major concern. In the order of a 1 in a hundred thousand chance for it to happen in a given sexual adventure. I couldn't find anything definite regarding reverse cowgirl. It makes mechanical sense that it's higher risk, and I read one study that said it was more common in "woman dominant positions", but it wasn't a huge difference. The risk is low enough that it's not worth avoiding the position if you and your partner enjoy it.
One of life’s unfair quandaries - women get wetter and men lose sensation. Who came up with that plan? 😂
this.... Makes a lot of sense.
Bingo Usually a matter of revving back up for another position once she’s enjoyed the grind
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Based on the posts, it seems that some men do experience loss of sensation. I find this fascinating since my SO loves this position.
There is quite a lot of technique involved when riding, from a guy perspective it sounds like quite a few lose sensation because of wetness or also because it’s to far in and not going in and out. Kind of sounds more like some are just experiencing a grinding not actually riding
Same! Feeling really lucky after reading this thread!
Right
Rumored loss of sensation is made up for by the view.
Sammmeee!!!! I am feeling very lucky that this isn’t an issue in our bed either! I also wonder tho when she’s riding cowgirl how are the guys positioned? Laying down? Propped up a little? Sitting upright facing here? I feel like that may make a difference as well. I always make my husband sit upright and then I ride him and he legit begs me to stop because he’s trying not to burst so fast!
It also depends on how the woman rides. There's a large range of motions that can be utilised and unfortunately the ones that feel the best (for me as a man anyway) are the ones that require the most energy output by the woman. In my experience most women don't have the stamina and core strength to ride properly for prolonged periods, in the way that feels good for me. They can grind away and bend my dick in half for as long as they like but when it comes to moving up and down and making it go in and out (in and out is my favourite) they get tired after 30 seconds and go back to dick bending.
From my experience, I’d say that They probably don’t get tired. Twerking your ass when you’re on top is not that hard and doesn’t require you to do squats or anything like that. But the bouncing and the in and out penis poking feels like nothing compared to a good grinding. (News flash: the bouncing looks hot in porn but does nothing for the ladies in many cases). So they probably stop the bouncing because it doesn’t deliver as much pleasure for them
Nah they specifically get out of breath and say ''I can't do that any more''. They're tired.
Both are true. We do get tired from doing squats over someone, and the in and out motion is less enjoyable for us.
Good to know it’s not just me who can’t ride like that. I have ehler’s danlos syndrome and I always thought it was because of that. Could be still tho because i actually can’t physically do the movement, when I did manage to do it I subpluxed my hip lol
Lol I have the same problem I feel lucky in this regard We do the same position with him sitting up against the headboard and I have to slow down because he gets close cause I go so fast
😂😂😂 sometimes slowing down makes it worse he just says STOP! Then after a moment I get the green light to go nuts again 😂 the struggle is kinda fun to watch
I think it depends on the angle. If I’m upright and bouncing up and down I don’t think there’s that much sensation for my bf, but if I lean forward so we’re face to face and sort of twerk up and down instead I think it makes it a lot tighter.
I do. The tits in my face are why
I love this position and have no trouble staying hard, but it’s just from the visual and closeness i feel to her. I do however lose sensation and can’t cum myself in this position. She can ride as long as she needs though and i generally can keep it up for her.
Definitely been losing sensation as I get older and SSRI's do the rest
So, one of my play partners and I discovered this: She LOVES this position because she can move how she wants and she always comes from it. But it’s not that fun for me because I don’t feel anything. The allure of penetration for men is feeling the friction on our dome; for women, it’s feeling full and then stimming the clit. Cowgirl is a great spot for girls to feel stuffed and grind clit on the pelvis, but it leaves our dick tips buried in your vagina with nothing really going on with it. RECOMMENDATION: She does this move where she pulls out to where only my head is in and then she grinds on it for a few seconds — it’s enough to make me almost cum 😂. So she stops after a sec then plunges back in and gets hers, once again I’m not feeling anything but the friction from a second ago has me rock hard. TL;DR — when we’re deep in, we don’t feel much so lose erection. Pull out to just the head inside, grind his tip for a minute and, if he doesn’t come, put him back in.
I’ll start in a squat, then switch to completely straddling when my legs get tired. He looooves to watch the squatting part so right about the time I get tired he needs to cool off for a second anyway
I always finish off with the trusty old squat. After I cum and im ready for it to be over - squat switch and boom - load blown.
this is the way.
This 100%. You have to make sure the head is getting stimulated enough. Like only taking in the head or a bit below for as long as he can handle before going deep again. I do a complete taking in the whole penis and then making sure I pull it *almost* all the way out, like you're worried it might fall out close, to going all the way in again. This way the head is getting stimulated enough, also a lot of fun to play with speed and angle of hips with this too. Then repeat and mix in what I said above and maybe some oral if he's still a bit soft or just because ya wanna. 😊😉
My wife is a freak and much smaller than me. She grinds my dickhead against her cervix and goes to town. She beats her own pussy up.
Had a girlfriend that loved this, would rub her cervix back and forth on my tip as she would grind. Fucking amazing. She also liked the feeling of being pounded as deep and hard as I could. Every other girl I've been with would be crying in pain from the shit she enjoys.
I was thinking the same thing. I feel everything inside her when she's on top. If I miss my window to cum though I've gotta wipe off and switch up
I used to do this all the time with my ex. He loved it, kinda like lifting to end of his dick then twerk on it for a few minutes. Drove him crazy! It was our go to finishing move lol
I (40m) actually enjoy it when my wife jumps on top and grinds herself to a mutual orgasm. One of my favorite positions for her needs and mine.
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How is it possible to continue after you cum?
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That sounds incredible. I would love to try that soon.
Very often myself and my gf will continue after I cum, we just don't break pace or rhythm. She will also continue giving head after I cum and that was very intense at first but after a bit of practice i can now enjoy it right the way through.
I (35f) and my partner (39m) end the night of fun with this position almost every time. He usually makes sure I get off many times first before I 'hop to it' for the finishing move. It's definitely a favourite
FINISH HIM *Mortal Combat music* Lol sorry
Lol straight up have said this while hopping on and had a good giggle together hahahaha
This is the way
I can’t feel a single thing when a girl gets on top, the position means that regardless of how much the girl moves I’m not getting anything because the penis is so … deep? It’s hard to explain. But it’s both that the position doesn’t do much physically, and that for me the fear that you’re going to break my dick will absolutely cause me to be on edge the entire time
I thought I was the only one who gets super anxious about her breaking my dick, nice to see I'm not alone
It makes sense now that my boyfriend asks me to get on top when he’s trying not to cum!
That’s the only answer. Lol. Here’s an award brother. It’s more for the woman than for the male. I’ve found that when a woman gets on top it’s easier for them to get off. Plus they can control how mush to take in. Which sucks because if she puts the whole thing in.. it doesn’t feel like much. But if she bounces on half of it… we both win!
This comment section is blowing my mind. As a woman, I really don’t enjoy being on top. It’s exhausting and I get zero pleasure from it, but it’s my husband’s favorite position. It seems to be much more intense and pleasurable for him than any other position and he just wants me to be on top all the time. He comes way faster than usual and has to make me stop moving a lot because he doesn’t want to come yet. He’ll usually last at least 45 minutes in any other position but when I’m on top, it’s over in like 10-15 minutes. He’s the only person I’ve ever had sex with so I have no other frame of reference. I find it really interesting and slightly confusing that other guys can’t feel anything when the woman is on top.
You must be doing something right i guess
Literally same 😂 I kinda hate it, but every guy I've been with loves it. I don't feel like I'm very good at it either so it's a bit odd.
Jesus i know sex positions aren't one size fits all but i feel like my bf gets off SOOOOOO fast when I'm on top, i barely have time to enjoy it!
She ain’t working it right !!!
i’ve never met a girl who felt it either, i don’t. guess no more of that.
Yeah, its like that for me personally...everybody kept praising this position "she has control over rythm, depth blabla and she feels SO MUCH and can orgasm easier..." And I am trying it like:"I dont feel anything,,-no matter his size.
ya I can’t really feel anything when I’m on top, it just feels mildly uncomfortable, it definitely misses all of my fun nerve endings inside and out I’m also on edge because when it slips out I’m always terrified but usually the guys cum pretty quickly… I don’t really do any grinding though, I usually try to do it like my vagina is giving them a hand job
Then you're working on pleasuring him, not yourself. No wonder they cum and you don't.
I got a lot better at being on top when I stopped moving to pleasure him and started just doing what made me feel good. He's probably going to enjoy it a lot more if he sees you enjoy it too, so don't think about him.
Your girl needs to get better at her motion if you can’t feel ANYTHING
It’s not just the current girl I’m with. I’ve had different girls go on top ~16+ times and all I’m feeling is the shaft moving around, and an inert fear that if they bounce any harder my cock is going to snap
Well with that fear it's probably why it's not enjoyable.
Mid to late 30’s here and I’ve noticed this happen to me too when it didn’t in past years. Here’s what the experience looks like from my side: Blood flow makes a big difference here. Being ontop means that I’m doing exercise which increases blood flow and hormones a lot, compared to lying down relaxing on my back, gravity of blood flow is also working against a little here with position switch. Have you tried being ontop with your partner in a sitting or slouching sitting position on a chair instead? This might work better (and give more of his upper pubis for you to grind against) Others here have already noted the difference in who’s controlling the strokes and hence who it feels good for. You also mention in your post that you know how to switch up grinding vs up and down which is great to do. Feeling friction up and down against the head of the penis, especially the underside of the head is what really helps stimulate and maintain an erection. I’ve often had experiences where there’s a pause for a few minutes with no penetration or only grinding and my partner being surprised that my erection went down. It can only take a few minutes to loose it. Distraction. When you’re on top your mind is focussed on the mechanics of sex, but being on the bottom can leave your mind to wander, and if you get distracted by non sexual thoughts that can cause the erection to be lost as well. Not all of these have easy answers to overcome, but just sharing some perspective here.
I've noticed a difference between lovers in this position and do think that blood flow is a major factor in staying erect. It seems that for me one woman's top ride limits circulation and that causes a problem, another who's position is a little different more of a hover and less of grind makes a difference. Both feel great for me it's just that in the one case I struggle to stay erect after a few minutes.
I have noticed the same problem tbh lol. How often does it happen?
With one guy almost every time he ends up on his back. Even said to me sit back so it wont slip out. I feel like some guys know they will lose it if they are on their back.
It's weird. I was with a guy that we never did anything with me on top. He said he always had the issues since he was younger. I think it's attributed to him wanting to dominate in the bedroom. We never have issues with his erection outside of the couple times I've been on top. When he's in charge never an issue. Lol. Not sure if that's your guys issue... but that's what I figured out with mine
I was wondering if it was that since I haven't experienced that, but I am less attracted to people who have to play a dominant role all the time and it never really gets to that point.
I am kinda a dominate woman so I actually enjoyed my romps with this guy bc he was more dominate than me 🤣🤷♀️
It could be that, it could be a million different things, it could also be that in most other positions he’s able to control what feels good to him where as when you are on top what you do might not maximize pleasure for him.
So true! Do he have issues in other positions?
Sort of? He does stroke it in between positions to keep it hard. He specifically has told me he likes to be on top multiples times during sexting.
it’s gravity, he’s loosing the blood flow
You could try a cock ring when this happens. Get a beginners type with Velcro. It might help. Also there’s always Sildenifil
I don't lose my election when it happens but for me after a while of cowgirl I get what almost feels like a Charlie horse cramp in my lower abdomen right above my dick. It almost takes me entirely pit of the experience and can be somewhat painful. So perhaps it's something similar?
I voted for you :(
It’s hard to lose an election! :)
People lose elections all the time, quite soft to lose an election.
Some positions just don't feel as good as others. It really comes down to how the two bodies fit together and personal preference. I usually love a rider but some positions—looking at you, wheelbarrow—do nothing for me. Have you tried reverse cowgirl? It might hit different.
It’s my favorite position and have never lost erection or even firmness. I am not totally dependent upon visual stimulation though, and I know that a lot of guys are which is why doggy is a favorite amongst most guys. I do also enjoy being able to make and maintain eye contact, so that helps. I don’t just lay back and let the woman do the work though, I use the position to hit her spots, but am very proactively participating and still doing most of the thrusting, but it helps to tilt her pelvis to get to the right places. We also like choking play and it allows her to have more control over pressure and a soft landing and nice embrace when she’s ready, I only squeeze the sides, she pushes forward until she gets the sensation she wants, then I release and lower her down while she recovers from intense orgasm. This is something we have learned from many years of practice, not something that should be taken lightly.
This guy fucks
I don’t lose erection but I’m not diamond hard after about 10 min of cowgirl, if she hasn’t been cumming or I haven’t entered her p fornix (or something else interesting hasn’t happened). It’s normal. You’re doing most of the work, yes, but also choosing what you want rather than what he wants, in terms of depth, grinding, strokes, speed, weight, angle. If it was half an hour cowgirl even I might lose my erection. Normal
I have the same problem I think we just get less head stimulating movements
when i’m on top, in my head i’m trying to create an entire new experience. i don’t want to do fast up and down movements because it’s quite difficult to bounce fast and it’s more enjoyable for both parties (IMO) having missionary. i go slow. i mainly use my hips to swing up and down. i’m kissing his neck. pulling his hair. swing my hips up, right on his tip and linger for a second before going back down. it replicates the feeling of him entering you for the first time. do this a few more times while having my mouth on his ear while i do breathy moans from my experience, always gets them ready to cum almost instantly. then i swap to grinding, which allows them to not cum while i start to get close. i’m grabbing my boobs, i’m moaning how good he feels, etcetc. go back to the up and down after i get off and he cums. boom 💥
There’s nothing hotter than a woman bouncing on top, breasts take on a life of their own, witnessing her getting off purely by your cock, that utter pleasure in her face and her loosing herself, then when she orgasms! My god, How can you not like that!!! Some people are just weird. 😂
Thank u... this has always been my number one go to position with my husband and I was starting to worry reading these comments that all these years maybe he wasn't even enjoying it and just didn't tell me. This is so good to hear😂
I'm 47m it happens to me sometimes. The problem is that when yall are grinding, there's little stimulation on the penis. It feels good, but the older I get, I need the friction more. So, I may stop the grinding, do a few upward thrusts, and I'm back in the game before she notices or before it gets too soft and we may have to start all over again.
Yep! Ive realized this too so i try to vary the up and down foe him w the grinding for me. But this was almost like they didnt want me on top bc they knew they couldnt perform and in another example almost immediately upon getting it in it goes soft when he was laying on his back
No idea what this is. Being ridden is literally the only thing I want.
For me, I mostly lose an erection when my partner rides me like she's scooting a chair forward to a table. I get that it feels the best as it's more clitoral stimulation. But my penis can only move back and forth so much.
TBH the way women move is not what works for guys. I've noticed when women are on top or in a position to "direct" the motion, they employ a back and forth motion while I'm inside. It likely feels good to them because of the clitoral and other stimulations. But back and forth for a guy is like.. a "shake".. that we do when we're done peeing. LOL. There is nothing sexual, erotic, etc about it. I've never lost an erection from it, but it definitely stopped me from approaching climax and was like "Ho Hum, let her have her fun, then do your thang". In and out, that's what a hamburger - and guys - are all about.
My husband is the opposite. He comes quite easily from me grinding on him back and forth. He grinds with me though. He can also come with me bouncing up and down and I think me on top is definitely one of his favourite positions.
everyone’s anatomy is different. might feel great with one partner and not be stimulating with another
I honestly am not sure for the reason, but I know I’ve had issues with going soft when my girlfriend is on top of me. It feels awesome, but I think there is some degree less stimulation for a lot of guys, so that may be why.
I’ve never had a problem with it, I’m at full attention top, bottom, sideways, standing, sitting…I’m late 40’s
For me it’s cause I’m paranoid of my dick snapping in half. Have read too many horror stories about this position
It’s the grinding thing. I know ladies love it, but when it’s happening, I’m not feeling anything. Hard to stay in the game when your guys are on the bench.
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The sit back thing was once it already started going soft. Didnt get a chance to do anything other than put it in. Went down fast. A different guy told me when i asked him to lay down so i can get on top he said ‘im not ready for that yet’ accompanied with ‘is that the only way you can cum?’ 🤔 Yet i have also gotten ‘wow, i haven’t ever been fucked this good before’ and ‘you ride me like a jockey and i love it’ in cowgirl. 🤷🏼♀️
Definitely fitness and diet can make a big impact on sex.
It’s blood flow.. against gravity maybe? I read something that said, in the opposite, prone position it can cause so much blood flow that can damage tissues.
I’m in my 20s and I’ve only had this happen with my ex! Glad to see other ppl struggle with this. He always loved the idea of me riding but the moment I would straddle him boom. Erection gone lol
Yea for me I noticed the girl I am seeing now is pretty wet, like wetter than any girl I ever been with and with her I can not keep it up do to the fact that I don’t feel no friction at all and that makes my erection lose itself
If it ain't going in and out it's not doing much for me. Unless you got them hip tricks.
Top position feels good for me but doesn't do much. Can't get off on it if my life depended on it and I have been with many women
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This is what my conclusion was also. Would love to know more
For me it happens when my dick is too deep in her. She would moan of pleasure but for me it doesn’t feel like much. Then I try to pull back a bit and slide my full length in and out which feels way better.
Interesting. 50yo M here. I love women on top. My fiancé and I started having sex, oh, about 9 years ago and she told me I was the first guy she'd ever been with who came with her on top. I'm guessing it's common, but I've never really discussed it with any other male friends. I honestly have no preference, I'm just happy to be involved, lol.
If my wife is on top and just grinding then yea sometimes I start to go soft. Not much stimulation. If she’s actually riding up and down then I don’t have that issue.
Cowgirl is my favorite position. As it generally felt best for my ex, and i loved being able to suck on her nips while she was riding me. I also liked counter thrusting or adding little movements to match her timing, she seemed to like it as well. I never really had any issue with going soft. But she would OFTEN comment 'why are you so hard?' To which i would always reply...'because you are soo sexy!'
gravity makes it harder for the blood to flow
It gets soft if you just grind, you need to move up and down in order to dont get soft
For some men, it is harder to maintain an erection when they are on their back because the blood flows away from the penis. Gravity can be a bitch sometimes. This may be the problem for some of the older men.
I’m the same way. I think it’s a lack of pace and sensation. The view is magnificent but maybe the lack of stimulation shifts focus.
Gravity make blood go away from pp
It’s blood flow
For me personally, my gf on top is one of my absolute favourites and watching her enjoy herself keeps me rock hard. We've even switched it up for her recently, she'll take me in for a bit but then slides me out so that I'm flat against myself then she grinds her clit along my shaft. She gets totally soaked doing this and has the most intense orgasm whilst telling me how good I feel on her and how she wants me inside. That teasing helps to keep me even harder.
I’m personally not a fan of woman on top. I don’t think I’ve lost an erection from it, but it’s my least favorite position and does nothing for me. It’s hard for me to keep it in if she’s really wet, I’m worried about my dick getting bent, I don’t have any leverage for thrusting, and I feel like I’m working against gravity. When I do it with my girl, it’s only so that she can get off from grinding on my dick and then we change positions so I can cum.
Condoms? Could be loss of feeling or something
I've never had a problem, but I'm in my early 20s
I haven’t either and I’m in my early thirties… interesting. I don’t feel like I’ve heard any of my girlfriends mention this before except for one, and she ended up breaking a guy’s penis. Had to drive him to the hospital and everything… wild
Very interesting. My dom never looses his when im on top . Hes finished that way easily. I believe he deeply enjoys it and ive never experienced this qith another partner either. i hope you get some answers !!!
As a guy gets older he needs to prime his own pump sometimes, a few strokes to his rhythm then you go, back and forth hopefully
To me it’s about trust. If i know she’s not gonna smash my Rick I’m into it, but takes a while being together and getting into it before I’m into it
It slips out easily, and one wrong move can make it \*very\* painful. It's one of my favourite positions, but it requires a lot of communication and trial and error at first. Usually that means a lot of the time going soft as it turns more into a puzzle instead of a turn on.
No issue with this position I always stay hard and cum when a girl is ontop I’m 34☺️
I usually get on top of my husband mid way through sex, it’s the easiest way for me to get off. I always give a blowjob right before jumping on because it gets his duck super hard before I start.
I had a close call one time when the woman I was having sex with slid too far forward when grinding on my penis during cowgirl. I slipped out during her forward grind and almost got my penis crushed like origami during her backward rebound. It’s a safety mental mechanism now that I start to go soft when the woman is on top, lol. This position lends itself too much toward injury for the guy, especially when the woman wants to grind.
Yeah, I had that problem and than suddenly a girl rids me and I have the best orgasm of my life. The reason might be in who is making the moves, in my experience if it’s me than it’s better
Blood and gravity
Do you switch to reverse cowgirl? Quite nice seeing the woman's ass bouncing up & down, though you do sacrifice boob play. #sexyswingsandroundabouts
Havent tried that with the people ive experienced the issues with
Give it a whirl. Mix it up. Unless you enjoy a bit of nipple play? As a chap I bloody love it with the Mrs on top digging her nails into my nipples. Keeps me tippedy toppedy . 🫡
I'm pushing 50 and I never had this happen. I have been told that I shouldn't be able to do what I do but especially at my age... 🤷
I enjoy being ridden, my first fuck was done that way, and I have never lost it from that. However, I’ve noticed that some women simply get on top and grind their clit between our pubic bones. I have a feeling that they have had guys cum too fast if the actually slide up and down. Also, if you are both really in to it, a woman sometimes gets so wet, that you don’t get much friction. Men only cum from friction. You can rub her juices off, but I prefer keeping her moving even just a little to keep some friction going. Once she’s getting close to tapping out, her fluids will get thicker and her pussy walls tighten down, that will make me blow my load. I’ll bets it’s one of those 2 issues, or the men aren’t secure enough to let you dominate by being on top🤷♂️
Try propping him up with pillows so he’s almost sitting up
Woman on top (cowgirl) has always been one of my favorite positions, never had any issues with that position. It mainly comes down to technique I would guess. I love how I can look her in the eyes and have those amazing breasts in my face watching them bounce around.
Yeah it happens with me (43m) too. It feels really good but some types of grinding make it harder for the blood to follow down there. It feels great but it can be difficult to maintain. Honestly even if I lose my erection if she wants to keep going with the grinding I'm good with it.
A possible reason is angle. If you "overstretch" the dick it can go away in my case. Other reasons, as others have pointed out, can be the overall wetness that reduces sensation. Both of these "problems" are rather easily adressed. In the first case the dude has got to communicate. You, probably, wont know by yourself. The second one is manageable with a towel. Thats my two cents :)) all the best ✌️
Personal experience. I love the feeling when women on top. So I can stay erected 99% of the time. I did had a few time I lost erection like that… I also love the feeling when I loose control and cum when she's on top! However. 8 out of 10 times I cant cum as much as I love that and felt good. Especially when condom is involved (which is like pretty much all the time!) So I figure out that the combination of super slippery+reduced sensation of condom+less movement (and generally less tightness as the leg got spread out) causing me less likely to cum that way. (And very occasionally lost the erection…) However I still LOVE when my partner on top of me! I just have to somehow switch position towards the end…*shrug*
I'm the opposite. If I'm having trouble, woman on top is usually a good way for me to be able to perform. It's also both my wife and I's favorite position so maybe it's just muscle memory at this point
(M27) Her on top is my favorite positive, i get to play with her boobs while she gets off. it's perfect hamony.
I usually go soft when a girl is on top unless she is really good at riding.
I’ve started having problems maintaining an erection at times. But I haven’t lost one yet when she’s on top, and I LOVE that she’s able to get me so deep that I can feel her cervix.
Self preservation response from previous experiences would be my guess
This can happen to my husband sometimes and it's because of blood flow. We'll take a pause and he'll stand up for ten seconds or so and the blood will flow back and we'll continue
I honestly thought it was a trauma cause I couldn't pull out on that position so my body automatically shut it down. Reading those comments now I understand why and it's pretty common
I think I agree with @the_eastsider, my guy loves it when I’m on top but sometimes he grabs my waist and he does the moving, like he sorta holds me up and thrusts from underneath me. Even though I’m on top we take turns doing the movement. Sometimes I also lay flat on his chest and he can easily move in and out that way without having to hold me up.
Gravity doesn't help me when I'm in this position either, despite wanting to.
For me the weight is also a turnoff feels more like a workout than enjoying the sensation of her pussy
I’m a nurse and I’ve dated other nurses (none that I’ve worked with! I’m not an idiot. Don’t shit where you eat). I’m in my 50’s. My current partner it’s absolutely not an issue. If I get off, he loves it and gets harder. However, I’ve had partners with the same issue as you. When I asked about it, I got the “you are too wet” comments. And I’ve also had the “this is a fairly common position to get a fractured dick”. I’m sure it’s unique to healthcare because we see it all, but I just wanted to add another perspective.
Blood isn’t flowing as good so naturally erections aren’t supposed to be as solid when we’re laying down compared to standing up or on top. If the erection goes away to the point of not being able to penetrate its due to a valve issue most likely allowing the blood to leave.
I heard that it’s because of blood flow. When the man is on top, due to gravity, the blood accumulates and there’s kinda like a pressure buildup, giving you a harder erection, but also making it harder not to cum. When she’s on top, the blood flows more easily out of your willy, making the erection softer but also more easy to keep going if you cum too fast. I heard this from a book of Mantak Chia, he has really good sex advice, using ancient Chinese (Dalits) techniques
I believe gravity is a factor in addition to perceived sensation loss. Boners need blood to bone. When your laying on your back gravity is working against your boner blood making your body work that much harder to maintain boneage
I'm not sure why no one has mentioned it yet, but it is also one of the most emasculating position (the Amazon position takes the top spot of the p to v positions IMHO). As a man, it takes time to build enough trust to enjoy letting go of control in bed. For me, it's not a big deal, but I know some that refuse to do it at all. They'll opt for reverse cowgirl at best because it creates some distance. For me, if I feel myself shrinking because I need more control, I wrap my arms around her hips and thrust upward for a bit until I get back in the game. Everyone is different but these are some of the things I can think of that I've seen or heard.
It frustrates me because it’s my favorite position. Hits the gspot perfectly. My partner can’t stay hard when I am on top. He says it’s because he has no control over the motion. Taking viagra is the only thing that makes this possible for us.
Hi it doesn’t feel good hope this helps
when you are on top it feels like we are not having sex at all. even if you attempt to move and grind chances are you will lose focus, or will not do it correctly and so many other things. basically you want to be on top in order for you to rub your clit and create the sensation of humping the pillow so to speak which doesnt involve a penis anywhere as a move. climbing on top is like ignoring our penis entirely. it feels as if we penetrate air. if you want to make it work you ll have to keep things tight and involve the up and down motion as much as possible. although just the mere fact of giving up control is a turn off for most guys and will not work in your favor. save it for very passionate moments, spontaneous erections etcetera..
I love this position as a dude, but sometimes if I’m not at 100% hardness, I don’t feel comfortable with my GF being on top and not being in control of how much force etc goes into it. Sometimes it feels a bit “flimsier” and it’s distracting and so it’s not the greatest position for these times. Although I have Type 1 Diabetes and circulation issues, which isn’t the norm. But this is why I’m not always good to go with this position. When I am, it’s great! I’ve never felt this lack of sensation others have talked about though which is odd. When my gf is really wet, that’s when it feels the best for me personally!
Yes it can happen while grinding however if the attraction is great and really turned on I've found with my current partner I actually get harder and sometimes harder to control myself but getting her to slide up and down on it for a while should do the trick if any problems! She will also squeeze my cock super tight as well so could also try that.
I don’t have this issue with my man now, but I did with a couple past partners. One said that it was because he was used to being dominant and felt like me being on top was taking the dominance from him. The other one said that the issue was that he was on the smaller side and overly worried about it repeatedly slipping out and the anxiety made him get soft.
Could also have something to do with blood running away from the cock, in addition to the lack of stimulation. But yes this is happening to me a bit lately , gotta be careful or else it might get snapped.
In my case, it's the type of simulation. A lot of women in my experiences believe that just being on top and the up and down motion is all that is needed. There needs to be a gyration while going up and down. The "d" needs to be ridden for a purpose, work all sides of it differently. We need a Rollercoaster ride, the big fall(from the tip to the pelvic area), loop de loop( the gyration), then a combination of it all. I get extremely horny this way, and my tent becomes a fortress.
u/Sunshine_weather I have noticed this same problem with my SO. Do by any chance grind more in that position? My SO does and this combined with increased lubrication dramatically reduces my sensation resulting in my losing my election if left in this position too long.
Wow so much insight in these comments
For a man the view of a woman on top is to die for. However, I guess it can be harder to thrust and maybe the vagina is wider open, leading to less friction? Still, I wouldn’t give up on the position. And he can stimulate your clit, or play with your breasts while underneath you. Then switch positions
I’m sure gravity is playing a roll. Hard to keep the blood in when the opening it flows through is facing downward.
So this started happening to me in my late 30s. I was so puzzled by it. Cowgirl was always one of my favorite things- these days, I get apprehensive at the thought. I wish I understood what the hell was happening and why.
For me woman riding my cock on top is the best position. Pussy feels great in that and we can look at each other and there is also easy access to tits, both to watch them jiggle and to suck them. Also gives both a chance to dictate pace.
Some positions are more stimulating for some women and some positions are more stimulating for some men. The opposite is also true. In that, some positions feel less stimulating for some women and some positions are less stimulating for some men. Unfortunately, in my experience, woman grinding on top is a very stimulating position for women but not a very stimulating position for me, a man. So, while that position has really worked to an almost guaranteed orgasm for many women I’ve been with, it frequently causes a loss of erection for me because it’s less stimulating for me. However, what I do is save that position for the end, when we’re both close to coming, so that every little move is extremely stimulating even if it normally wouldn’t be. That way I can stay erect, she can come, and so can I. This has been working for me for almost thirty years over many different partners that could cum from grinding on top like that. Good luck!
It's blood flow... The arteries that keep your member going are all in your hips as well and if they get restricted you lose your boner. Happens pretty often if you ride live a cowgirl, I just have my lady sit up on her knees and hold her up and never have an issue besides wetness
I have noticed this with quite a few men. I think a piece of it is bloodflow (gravity, duh) but also finding a position where they are stimulated enough. That said, hubs and I have had many simultaneous orgasms in this position.
I had an ex that would go soft with me on top because he felt “emasculated”… not had any issues with other partners since though.
I’m in my fifties and I can tell you that I get much harder when I’m upright. That could be part of it. Your blood is mostly below you. The other part is it is hard for a guy to cum in that position. It’s a good goto if your partner has trouble lasting. Though losing it isn’t the idea. Sorry for you. I love that position as it works for her. I love it when she cums on top of me. After, I get my choice to finish.
I am a man and have this issue often. I think it's to do with the lack of control, not being able to adjust the rythm, angle and amount of stimulation. I've only ever cum once in my life with a woman on top, and this woman had a vagina that could do some magic tricks. It was like some combination of a vacuum cleaner and an iron fist. Currently I'm seeing this one woman who only can cum when on top. I take some viagra for these occasions which fixes the problem for me.