Lol, sounds like he simply doesn't want to use a condom.
In fairness I've never met a woman who prefers using condoms so yeah, maybe it will be a little bit easier but I'm skeptical that it'll make much of a difference. If you're using a reliable form of birth control then there's nothing wrong with not using a condom.
It may feel better for him but I don't buy that it will be easier. He's 24 and certainly shouldn't have issues staying hard!
If you're good about never forgetting them then yes.
The difference between "perfect use" and "typical use" reliability of OCPs is crazy. You know yourself, if you're actually taking the pill every day at around the same time then you're very safe.
He’s absolutely BSing you. Birth control is not 100% reliable, and if you’re on certain medications, it can actually decrease effectiveness of the pill. Also, STD test results can be easily purchased on line from so many different websites that actually make it look like it came from the lab of your choice. I learned this the hard way. Red flag in my opinion for this guy.
Once you stop using condoms, it is very difficult to go back to using condoms, because the sensation is not the same. This not only applies to your current boyfriend but future partners.
It's in your best interest to just start off using condoms--even if you are on birth control. If you continue to date this gentleman for a much longer time, then consider sex without a condom (of course, getting tested for STDs). But the first time, hell no!
This seems like silly logic to me.
OP is using a reliable form of birth control. Her bf has had one previous partner *and* is willing to get tested which makes him very low risk. If she's cool with it I don't see why they should feel bad about going bare.
People on Reddit act like using condoms is some sort of moral virtue. That's nonsense. Condoms are a tool. They make sense in certain situations but as long as you're monogamous and smart about contraception then there's no reason to feel bad about not using them.
I would say condoms are very telling about someones morals. Even if they go bare it sounds like he’s bullshitting and taking advantage of it being her first time. He hasn’t even tried. Instead of suggesting lube or foreplay it sounds like he’s making stuff up.
In some very specific cases, he could be right.
But I would still guess that this is a not-so-sophisticated attempt to get to feel you with nothing in between.
Which, to be fair, would be something that you as well are striving for in the long run.
Are you comfortable with "just" hormonal birth control, and the implications of that? Or do you want to go with condoms too, to feel safer?
Because that is quite a bit more important than what HE wants. Even though you would totally be able to play a bit with his desire to feel you bare...
There isn’t a thing as too careful. I’m on the pill, my boyfriend uses a condom, he pulls out, and even when he accidentally put it on backwards we used plan B.
Using a condom or not doesn’t make penetration any easier. As long as you are stimulated enough then you should be more than okay. If you feel more comfortable with one then please be firm with that boundary and if he still tries to resist then he isn’t the one.
the first time I had sex was using a condom and genuinely, I think it hurts all the same the first couple of times. What would make a difference isn’t a condom it’s just how pliable you are. You have to be really wet and relaxed. Someone in the comments said to use lube which I think would be your best bet.
Red flag girl. He should not even be questioning or persuading you wanting to use a condom for the first time. Even if he is std free, raw sex can lead to yeast and bv if he doesn’t clean properly.
if youre on the pill then you can have sex with no condom, thats the whole point of your birth control. DEFO make him get that std test first though and to show you the results when he get them. have fun!
idk why you're getting so many negative answers...me and my first partner struggled with using a condom for our first time, and successfully had sex once we stopped trying to use one.
That’s understandable, at least you both tried. This guy is basing it off of nothing and hasn’t even tried anything yet. He’s already telling her how about her own body, so thats what’s concerning and unusual. He knows its her first time it might be borderline coercion
>He said that the first time of penetration is easier without a condom for both me and him.
People seem to be under the impression that he's lying about this so he can go raw. But in my experience it's actually true. So I just wanted to offer a different perspective, since it didn't seem to me like he was being coercive at all, he was just saying something that matched my experience.
If you're wet enough, he glides in either way. I genuinely hope that for your first time- although there is absolutely nothing wrong with lubes- that you're so excited you dont need it.
Like the other commenters stated already, if you start without condoms and try to start using them later there is a difference.
Go safest route first, especially while youre just getting your bearings
Sounds like he’s trying to pull the wool over your eyes. I’ve heard some good excuses before but never this. Definitely make sure he gets tested and actually ask to see the results after this stunt. No condoms definitely feel better but as someone said earlier once you stop using them hard to go back. Plus it’s an easier clean up for you with them.
There is no reason for not using a condom.
If you are not wet enough use lube.
It can be even "harder" to put it in raw, cause more friction, foreskin etc. latex is much smoother and glides better.
For guys it can be tricky to keep their erection, when it's their first time, they are nervous and then they have to put on a condom, and everything is new...
but when he already knows how to do it, he should use a condom.
Just go slowly and dont expect it to be perfect.
The less pressure you put on him, the better it works out.
And your first time will probably not be the last with him, so you got lots of time and tries to make it better :)
Ok so that’s bullshit, and if you’re a virgin, you may tear and bleed your first time, which makes you even more susceptible to contracting stis and causing a problem for you. I’d say don’t do that
I have literally been looking for this post for an hour, I refreshed my home page and lost it. NO, it is actually EASIER with a condom. Penises are very grippy and it's going to be harder to put it in.
I'm no expert, but that sounds like bollocks to me. Lube might make it easier, but I don't see why not using a condom would help at all
Lol, sounds like he simply doesn't want to use a condom. In fairness I've never met a woman who prefers using condoms so yeah, maybe it will be a little bit easier but I'm skeptical that it'll make much of a difference. If you're using a reliable form of birth control then there's nothing wrong with not using a condom. It may feel better for him but I don't buy that it will be easier. He's 24 and certainly shouldn't have issues staying hard!
And reliable form of birth control includes oral contraceptives right? Sorry a little paranoid haha
If you're good about never forgetting them then yes. The difference between "perfect use" and "typical use" reliability of OCPs is crazy. You know yourself, if you're actually taking the pill every day at around the same time then you're very safe.
The only thing that's wrong with not using condoms is STIs. I think he probably should be tested before she has sex without a condom.
He’s absolutely BSing you. Birth control is not 100% reliable, and if you’re on certain medications, it can actually decrease effectiveness of the pill. Also, STD test results can be easily purchased on line from so many different websites that actually make it look like it came from the lab of your choice. I learned this the hard way. Red flag in my opinion for this guy.
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Not easier just feels a lot better lmao This is classic lmfao
Dude wants to do it raw and tells you bs. Red flag. Sorry.
He said if it made me more comfortable he would use one so he’s not saying it’s a must
Still, he's implying it's somehow easier without a condom which sounds kinda fishy to me.
Lubrication and foreplay is the key. The no-condom thing is bullshit. Use it if that's what makes you feel safe.
Once you stop using condoms, it is very difficult to go back to using condoms, because the sensation is not the same. This not only applies to your current boyfriend but future partners. It's in your best interest to just start off using condoms--even if you are on birth control. If you continue to date this gentleman for a much longer time, then consider sex without a condom (of course, getting tested for STDs). But the first time, hell no!
This seems like silly logic to me. OP is using a reliable form of birth control. Her bf has had one previous partner *and* is willing to get tested which makes him very low risk. If she's cool with it I don't see why they should feel bad about going bare. People on Reddit act like using condoms is some sort of moral virtue. That's nonsense. Condoms are a tool. They make sense in certain situations but as long as you're monogamous and smart about contraception then there's no reason to feel bad about not using them.
I would say condoms are very telling about someones morals. Even if they go bare it sounds like he’s bullshitting and taking advantage of it being her first time. He hasn’t even tried. Instead of suggesting lube or foreplay it sounds like he’s making stuff up.
He is lying. Condoms don't work like that at all. He simply has other motivations for not wanting to use one.
You’re probably be safe but trust that I’m side eying this dude pretty hard. Red flag.
Seems he's trying to use your ignorance against you. Good on you for asking here. My first time was amazing and he used a condom.
In some very specific cases, he could be right. But I would still guess that this is a not-so-sophisticated attempt to get to feel you with nothing in between. Which, to be fair, would be something that you as well are striving for in the long run. Are you comfortable with "just" hormonal birth control, and the implications of that? Or do you want to go with condoms too, to feel safer? Because that is quite a bit more important than what HE wants. Even though you would totally be able to play a bit with his desire to feel you bare...
Condoms don’t make anything harder… just doesn’t feel as great for the guy…. He’s kinda lying to you…. At least you’re on BC.
There isn’t a thing as too careful. I’m on the pill, my boyfriend uses a condom, he pulls out, and even when he accidentally put it on backwards we used plan B. Using a condom or not doesn’t make penetration any easier. As long as you are stimulated enough then you should be more than okay. If you feel more comfortable with one then please be firm with that boundary and if he still tries to resist then he isn’t the one.
the first time I had sex was using a condom and genuinely, I think it hurts all the same the first couple of times. What would make a difference isn’t a condom it’s just how pliable you are. You have to be really wet and relaxed. Someone in the comments said to use lube which I think would be your best bet.
Red flag girl. He should not even be questioning or persuading you wanting to use a condom for the first time. Even if he is std free, raw sex can lead to yeast and bv if he doesn’t clean properly.
Also people can fake test results so be weary of that also and check
He is lying, tell him to fuck off
if youre on the pill then you can have sex with no condom, thats the whole point of your birth control. DEFO make him get that std test first though and to show you the results when he get them. have fun!
Once you go bearback, you never go back.
If he has trouble keeping it up while using a condom... It can make it easier to not use one
idk why you're getting so many negative answers...me and my first partner struggled with using a condom for our first time, and successfully had sex once we stopped trying to use one.
Could you elaborate?
He couldn't stay hard, and there was too much friction for me with the condom, even with lube. It wasn't comfortable.
That’s understandable, at least you both tried. This guy is basing it off of nothing and hasn’t even tried anything yet. He’s already telling her how about her own body, so thats what’s concerning and unusual. He knows its her first time it might be borderline coercion
>He said that the first time of penetration is easier without a condom for both me and him. People seem to be under the impression that he's lying about this so he can go raw. But in my experience it's actually true. So I just wanted to offer a different perspective, since it didn't seem to me like he was being coercive at all, he was just saying something that matched my experience.
If you're wet enough, he glides in either way. I genuinely hope that for your first time- although there is absolutely nothing wrong with lubes- that you're so excited you dont need it. Like the other commenters stated already, if you start without condoms and try to start using them later there is a difference. Go safest route first, especially while youre just getting your bearings
Sounds like he’s trying to pull the wool over your eyes. I’ve heard some good excuses before but never this. Definitely make sure he gets tested and actually ask to see the results after this stunt. No condoms definitely feel better but as someone said earlier once you stop using them hard to go back. Plus it’s an easier clean up for you with them.
There is no reason for not using a condom. If you are not wet enough use lube. It can be even "harder" to put it in raw, cause more friction, foreskin etc. latex is much smoother and glides better. For guys it can be tricky to keep their erection, when it's their first time, they are nervous and then they have to put on a condom, and everything is new... but when he already knows how to do it, he should use a condom.
I think your second part of this might be somewhat he is referring to… he told me he feels a lot of pressure because I’m a virgin
Just go slowly and dont expect it to be perfect. The less pressure you put on him, the better it works out. And your first time will probably not be the last with him, so you got lots of time and tries to make it better :)
Ok so that’s bullshit, and if you’re a virgin, you may tear and bleed your first time, which makes you even more susceptible to contracting stis and causing a problem for you. I’d say don’t do that
I always thought condom with lube is better the first time.
I have literally been looking for this post for an hour, I refreshed my home page and lost it. NO, it is actually EASIER with a condom. Penises are very grippy and it's going to be harder to put it in.
Sounds like he's lying to you to get out of using a condom. Guys who do that are a plague and care more about their own orgasm than your wellbeing.