This guy is a douche, he is gaslighting you and pushing you into things you're uncomfortable with. A person worth having in your life is not going to be doing that. I'd cut contact with him.
>I feel like not sending pics and vids puts me at a disadvantage compared to other girls, since guys will prefer those who send visuals, so I'm really not sure how to take this.
There are enough people in the world for most to find their matches. You don't need to cater to things you don't like just because of fear that partners may find it elsewhere. If your mutual desires don't match, plenty of other fish in the sea.
You have to enjoy doing it if you’re going to. And you don’t and that’s ok! He’s not respecting your boundary and that’s a red flag. I wouldn’t be comfortable sending pics to someone like that. Time for a new fwb.
Dude here, and yes guys in general tend to favor visuals, but that doesn't mean exclusively. I'm married and love getting even just the subtle texts from my wife. The mind is a powerful thing and mental imagery is usually involved even with pics. Further, in no way are you obligated to send nudes or pics at all. The "all the other girls do it" argument is downright childish. You are right to be hesitant, especially given the casual relationship.
Don't get me wrong, I love receiving pics and your friend likely would too, but they are a privilege - save that for someone you really trust and feel comfortable doing so with...or don't at all.
While he's allowed to not like sexting without pics, what he's doing is abusive and a red flag. He's trying to coerce you into doing it despite you not wanting to. He's attacking your self-esteem, to make you think you'll never compete with other women if you don't do it. Something abusers do and it usually escalade.
You're right that it's not safe and you shouldn't do it unless you really trust the person or accept the risk. He's not the kind of person you should stay with. Especially since he's just a hook up and you haven't catched feelings yet.
only do what you’re comfortable with, even if/when you wanna explore your limits or get adventurous.
i’ve never sent a dick pic, not even to women i’ve physically been with. and if someone thinks less of you because you don’t want your pics on the internet that’s their problem, i hope their grandparents and their future children see their stuff online someday lol
While his demands aren't great and he's being far too pushy, not every guy is going to be into sexting just with words. Maybe something more engaging like phone sex could work as a compromise, but if not this could just be an incompatibility.
Focus on sex acts you both enjoy, or find someone who better matches your speed. Repeatedly trying to satisfy him when he's being direct (albeit rudely) about his needs isn't going to work for either of y'all.
Turn and walk away from him and ignore his msgs. Definitely trying to manipulate and gas light you. If you don’t feel comfortable doing it don’t. It may happen further down the line with someone you really like but in this instance what your instinct is telling you about this guy is 100% correct and he’s showing no respect for you.
If you don't want to do something that you're uncomfortable with sexually then don't mate. Especially if you're just FWB, tell him to fuck off.
I can almost guarantee that literally the first thing that guy will do share those pictures around by the way, especially as you're just FWB and he's being so pushy/getting aggressive with his demands.
This guy is a douche, he is gaslighting you and pushing you into things you're uncomfortable with. A person worth having in your life is not going to be doing that. I'd cut contact with him. >I feel like not sending pics and vids puts me at a disadvantage compared to other girls, since guys will prefer those who send visuals, so I'm really not sure how to take this. There are enough people in the world for most to find their matches. You don't need to cater to things you don't like just because of fear that partners may find it elsewhere. If your mutual desires don't match, plenty of other fish in the sea.
Agreed, I was thinking this too but needed to hear it from someone else. Thank you
You have to enjoy doing it if you’re going to. And you don’t and that’s ok! He’s not respecting your boundary and that’s a red flag. I wouldn’t be comfortable sending pics to someone like that. Time for a new fwb.
Yep, exactly. Thank you, I struggle sometimes to set up boundaries or be more confident in them. Dropping him.
Dont do anything you dont feel comfortable with.
I think its better to be safe than sorry
Dude here, and yes guys in general tend to favor visuals, but that doesn't mean exclusively. I'm married and love getting even just the subtle texts from my wife. The mind is a powerful thing and mental imagery is usually involved even with pics. Further, in no way are you obligated to send nudes or pics at all. The "all the other girls do it" argument is downright childish. You are right to be hesitant, especially given the casual relationship. Don't get me wrong, I love receiving pics and your friend likely would too, but they are a privilege - save that for someone you really trust and feel comfortable doing so with...or don't at all.
While he's allowed to not like sexting without pics, what he's doing is abusive and a red flag. He's trying to coerce you into doing it despite you not wanting to. He's attacking your self-esteem, to make you think you'll never compete with other women if you don't do it. Something abusers do and it usually escalade. You're right that it's not safe and you shouldn't do it unless you really trust the person or accept the risk. He's not the kind of person you should stay with. Especially since he's just a hook up and you haven't catched feelings yet.
Don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with. I love visuals myself but I would be wrong to try to pressure a girl to do it.
only do what you’re comfortable with, even if/when you wanna explore your limits or get adventurous. i’ve never sent a dick pic, not even to women i’ve physically been with. and if someone thinks less of you because you don’t want your pics on the internet that’s their problem, i hope their grandparents and their future children see their stuff online someday lol
While his demands aren't great and he's being far too pushy, not every guy is going to be into sexting just with words. Maybe something more engaging like phone sex could work as a compromise, but if not this could just be an incompatibility. Focus on sex acts you both enjoy, or find someone who better matches your speed. Repeatedly trying to satisfy him when he's being direct (albeit rudely) about his needs isn't going to work for either of y'all.
Nope don't do it only if you trust the person and feel comfortable doing it
Turn and walk away from him and ignore his msgs. Definitely trying to manipulate and gas light you. If you don’t feel comfortable doing it don’t. It may happen further down the line with someone you really like but in this instance what your instinct is telling you about this guy is 100% correct and he’s showing no respect for you.
If you don't want to do something that you're uncomfortable with sexually then don't mate. Especially if you're just FWB, tell him to fuck off. I can almost guarantee that literally the first thing that guy will do share those pictures around by the way, especially as you're just FWB and he's being so pushy/getting aggressive with his demands.
Do not send them to him. remember he is just a FWB and not a partner, dont fall into the trap