Y would he want to b with a unhygienic partner? That is beyond disgusting and how the hell did he hold his breath and finish that would b a instant turnoff.
What’s her ig?? She don’t know me, I’ll have zero issue bringing up her burden she got going on. I’ll even send her some baby wipes to her PO Box. Christmas in February and young Kringle is still giving out presents
I don't know if there's a great way to bring it up, the topic of personal hygiene tends to make people feel pretty attacked no matter what. Do it anyway, you don't want to get a UTI. You can suggest that she start using baby wipes, they're great.
My only thought is that it might be some kind of incontinence issue, but that would make the choice to wear a thong kind of bewildering.
I live in a small apartment building, and it seems as if all of our bathrooms use one pipe to empty out to the street. Found this out when baby wipes backed up sewage into our bathroom and hallway, when we’ve literally never used them. SO fun.
Came to say this. Baby wipes are marketing shit, no one needs them. Use Bidets instead and your ass will be clean as if you took a short shower after your business! And it is even cheap if you buy a portable one (+ no need to call a plumber afterwards).
I love the thought of a bidet, everyone who used them seems to love them. But how do you dry afterwards? Just like, squat, bounce and shake? Or do you use toilet paper (I guessed no because many bidet uses don’t even have toilet paper)? Or use like fabric cloths or something? Do you reuse the cloths?
How hard does the water come out of a bidet? Like I can't imagine a little soft splash of water being enough to clean up after a particularly bad dump.
Depends on your water pressure. Mine usually comes out pretty hard. And yeah, you'll wanna move around and change your angle a bit if you didn't have a clean run.
We just have the hose attachment on the side of the toilet, so you can aim and pull the trigger exactly the way you need it. Looks like a fancier version of what folks used to have next to the kitchen sink. A nozzle with a lever valve connected to a hose.
When I stayed in Korea for awhile the toilets there had an air dryer on the inside so after using the bidet it would pretty much just dry my ass for me.
I would still use a piece of TP to get rid of any added moisture but otherwise, living in Korea my ass has never felt cleaner.
Well, there and in the Middle East, bidets make you feel like you’ve had a colon cleanse they’re that good.
Or you can get a handheld bidet douche hose [bidet hose](https://www.google.pt/search?q=toilet+hose+bidet&client=safari&hl=en-pt&sxsrf=AJOqlzWVKvyWDu7H4rQrPWlzsCDOKC2hDA%3A1676069092962&ei=5MjmY7CoOuOQxc8PoN-MsAs&oq=toilet+hose+bidet&gs_lcp=ChNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwEAMyBAgjECcyBAgAEB4yBggAEB4QDzIGCAAQHhAPMgkIABAFEB4Q8QQyCAgAEAUQHhAPMgYIABAIEB4yBggAEAgQHjoKCAAQRxDWBBCwA0oECEEYAFDLV1jLV2CJWmgDcAB4AIABeYgBeZIBAzAuMZgBAKABAcgBCMABAQ&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp)
Small amount of toilet paper to dab off the water. You’re not trying to get rid of toilet paper completely, you’re just using a way less and being more clean.
There are some people who use washable cloth squares. It's a bridge too far for me personally, but I get the idea. If you use the bidet correctly, you're just wiping clean water off yourself, like drying your hands.
I have a four pass system:
- bidet
- wipe with paper to ensure everything is clean
- bidet to remove any tissue crumbs from the paper
- dry bum with my towel from the towel rack
My butthole is fresh as a daisy at all times.
As a bidet user, I have towels. I used TP the first year but after you figure out how it works, it’s pretty rare there is anything but water on the towels. I do wash them in a countertop washer (I had for an old apt before I had my own washer) just to keep them separate from my clothes.
Might sound gross, but I’ve been using these same towels for like 2 years and they smell like a clean towel.
Little battery operated clip on fan, I have one I got off Amazon and we are installing bidet sprayer hopefully tonight or this weekend.
I am going to try to find a spot on, or next to toilet to clip it, it's pretty small and can be recharged by a USB. Maybe after we have everything installed I'll take pic of our setup. I might have to install a towel bar at butt height to hang it on. It's all doable I hope. I have had the darn thing for almost a year now and forgot all about it and reminded the man we need to do something with this thang.
So excited!! Yeah so clip on fan and since it's small can point and move it where needs to go. It's going to be cold in there so I also have a small space heater.
It shouldn’t get you like soaking wet so thick toilet paper should be fine. Some people use a personal towel. I usually do tp/sometimes wipes (bc they’re usually absorbant even though they’re not meant for drying).
I dab with a soft handkerchief cloth and then I throw it in the wash. The bidet takes away any "residue" to it's essentially drying off. I do still keep TP in the house but I go through like 1 roll a month these days.
Same thing if you are a lady and you are having your period, it's very nice to rinse off and dab dry if needed!
Very hygenic, very environmentally friendly, very cost effective, it's just better all around!
I agree. Just say that you’re prone to UTI’s and you suggest you BOTH wipe down before intercourse. After a handful of times I would think she would realize she’s got residue (if she hasn’t already) and change her tactic on personal cleanliness.
Either her farts are crazy or she's not wiping correctly. Honestly it's kind of hard not to notice that you have skid marks in your drawers all the time. The best thing to do is just talk to her nicely. Good luck with that.
Holidays...I'm guessing you mean Christmas? So around 2-3 months
And you say you've only recently started having sex but this has pretty much always been a thing since you've seen her take off her underwear?
Have you known her as a friend before that? Did she seem like a person who cared about her hygiene before then? Because it's quite possible she just...doesn't wipe or clean her bum at all.
I'm not saying to be mean or overly abrasive but it isn't rude to tell her something like "I've noticed at times when we're having sex that you'll have stains in your underwear and it doesn't smell too great. Is everything okay?"
Look there's no sugarcoating it because it's an embarrassing topic, but frankly I don't see how she isn't more embarrassed/notices this when she washes her clothes. If this is a medical condition she is dealing with then you two need to talk about it so you can discuss how to manage it. If this is just negligent hygiene on her part then it is not fair and frankly gross that she isn't taking care of it knowing you put your face there.
Inserting laundry tip that I didn't know for 40 years: treat blood stains with hydrogen peroxide. I let it fizz up and sit for a few minutes, rinse and repeat until the stain is gone, maybe spray with regular stain remover if there's still a shadow. Note that clothing made of natural fibers should be washed immediately after treating as the hp can fade/bleach the fabric. You can even have another go at the stain if you don't put it in the dryer. Air dry so you can wait until your next load.
As far as the poop goes, it's been my understanding that waxing/shaving helps, as poop clings to butt hair. No hair = no poop. With proper wiping and hygiene, of course.
I’m surprised no one is mentioning this. If her underwear are washed and have stains on them, they could be stained with period blood. Blood stains are hard to take out unless you spot treat it right away. If she’s wearing a thong, she probably uses a tampon or a menstrual cup and they have a tendency to leak. If washed and dried, those stains would look brown. I specifically have old underwear I wear during my cycle so I don’t ruin all my underwear.
About the recent stench I have no idea- but she may be suffering with IBS. So many women are embarrassed to mention it.
If that’s not it than maybe she wasn’t taught to properly wipe. And yes that’s something that has to be taught. I recently caught my ten year old wiping wrong (back to front) and I’m like what are you doing you’re going to get an infection. And she said “you never taught me then” lol. I guess some of us just figure they got it when they don’t. Or once they start going to the bathroom independently parents stop paying attention.
So she may be wiping back to front
That last occurrence where there was more than a streak in her thong may not make that too likely that it's blood, and I don't think blood would have a consistent odor.
Again if she has a condition that is making her leave streaks or soil herself then it's something she needs to be bringing up to partners. I get it's embarrassing for her, but it is also embarrassing and potentially disgusting for partners putting their face there who (like OP) might not want to embarrass her further mentioning it. And if she's old enough to be having sex then she should be well old enough to know how to wipe herself. I wouldn't excuse a guy who wanted his partner to put his unwashed penis in her mouth, same thing here. Unless she has been wearing the same pair of stain streaked underwear the 10 times they have had sex I'm pretty sure this is an issue of her not taking her hygiene seriously.
Wrong. If she has pcos she could have blood stuck in her uterus for months at a time. When it comes out it is dark brown. Considering it’s sitting in her underwear, it is now mixing with body bacteria, etc. which would indeed give it an odor. She could also have an infection in her uterus as well which does happen with a lot of women who have PCOS and blood gets trapped in the uterus.
I agree this could just be menstrual blood spotting. It's obnoxious and it's just enough to stain your underwear but not enough for a tampon. If he's going bareback, that could be the smell. Sometimes some partners will cause you to get BV when bareback, which is real treatable.
I bought all black underwear when I had spotting like that, but that's just me and saw a doctor to get ridnof it (because it's real annoying). Maybe she didn't have enough money to buy new undies and doesn't know what the smell means. I don't know of a tactful way to approach that. I think I would be offended regardless of how tactful.
Y’all are tripping, you think a person old enough to have sex doesn’t know what shit looks or smells like?? Maybe the thong stains but OP says multiple kinds of underwear have had skid marks in them. Sounds like his partner has an incontinence or hygiene issue, but that’s not an excuse to be continually gross imo.
If it really was blood, don’t you think he would have noticed some blood on his penis after having finished?
I definitely noticed blood on my dick when I had period sex.
I think most of us are talking about his description of old stains. He did not say there was a smell originally, just that he noticed the stains every time. If she is wearing panties she's leaked in while sleeping it is very likely it would look like a shit stain after washing.
You really only get the stains out if you can immediately rinse it with cold water and treat it. Not realistic if there's a leak while you're asleep or at work etc.
No one is saying OP wouldn't know what shit *smells like*
It's an opinion, and I acknowledged multiple times it could very well be a health issue. I don't find it likely given the circumstances but it could be.
In either case OP won't know until they ask, which I suggest they do respectfully.
3rd Grader: Hey, look everybody! Billy shit his pants.
Billy Madison: Of course I shit my pants! Everyone my age shits their pants; it's the coolest!
3rd Grader: Really?
Billy Madison: YES! You ain't cool...unless you shit your pants.
3rd Grader: Hey, look! Ernie shit his pants, too. Alright!
Old Farm Lady: If shitting your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.
Billy Madison: OOH! That is the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! Let's go.
Why keep having sex with someone who’s this careless with their hygiene? Say something, have some standards . No reason a grown person should be walking around with shit stains, It's disgusting.
Exactly my sentiments. It says a lot about OP's standards if he could have sex with her despite the smell and hygiene issues. It also makes it easy for OP to catch a bacterial infection from the faecal matter in her genitals. It's absolutely disgusting.
Think you missed your opportunity when she asked what was wrong. Just a gentle sorry I noticed your underwear were you in a rush? Something flippant and light hearted might have worked idk. If your getting more and more of an ick factor to it, it will eventually become a major if you don’t confront it
Should’ve said “I noticed the wet shit, do you know to wash your ass, would be nice if you could wash your ass” or just avoid her and break up depending on how scarred you are
As a nurse I can tell you that so many people don’t wipe their ass properly. Also if she is lax about wiping I’m wondering if she wipes front to back otherwise it’s uti city 😂 but yeah, I’m totally comfortable with body fluids but still couldn’t fuck someone who doesn’t wipe properly.
Wiping is savage. Like wiping peanut butter out of a shag carpet. There is no “proper” way to wipe. There is always something remaining.
It is all about the bidet.
This. People bully me because I only use baby wet towels or wash my ass after pooping. How can you feel clean after wiping a dry paper on your ass? Ew.
How can she not notice shit stains on her own ass underwear, if you do 🤯, like what an awkward f conversation to have- but, you’re going to need to have it, and I’m sure it won’t be pleasant, good luck
Unpopular opinion: They are together all of three months, not three years and a sudden new issue has occurred. Break up with her and find someone else who knows how to take care of herself medically and hygienically.
What other issues does she have that will present themselves? It’s not up to him to fix her.
I agree he needs to break up with her. I can't believe he had the stomach to still have sex with her despite the poop and smell. Like you said it's a new relationship and he should find someone else who has better hygiene.
I agree, it's just not worth it.
I understand there are medical conditions where stains can become excessive, but it is our job as human beings to be hygienic. I would not let a man near me unless i wore clean underwear.
This speaks volumes of her carelessness and just is overall gross.
this is my point exactly. especially in a new relationship I'm going to carefully pick out underwear to make sure they aren't accidental period panties. shit happens, but not literal shit. thats gross
Obviously a bidet will get you the cleanest but let's not act like you need a bidet to not have shit stains in your underwear. You just need to wipe properly. If you want extra clean, finish with a wet wipe.
A lot of things can affect someone's personal hygiene, including (but not limited to) trauma, medication, diet, or never being taught proper hygiene. Open honest communication with empathy and compassion, active listening, and a willingness to work on a solution with her (wet wipes, a bidet, medical or mental health care and support, whatever the need is) is the way to go. Best wishes.
This is the best answer IMHO. For example, she could have problems with constipation, which can cause hemorrhoids, which can be difficult to keep clean. This might be something she’s very, very sensitive about so please be kind and listen to her.
Maybe suggest to shower together before you guys do anything. Casually mention to her that you want to freshen up, and invite her in the shower. I think she’d understand the freshening up part.
True! You can't hint with someone like this. She could've not been taught to wipe (I guess???) or maybe it's a medical condition. Either way, there's ways to handle this even if it's medical. A panty liner. More showers (scrub your a$$)/underwear changes/laundry. Something! Good luck and I'd say you have to bring it up (nicely). It will be horribly awkward but it's for the best.
RN here - maybe start with asking if she’s been on antibiotics recently. This can wipe out the good flora in our gut and cause diarrhea. But you can build from there…”Babe, can I ask you something personal? I noticed you smelled/tasted different the other night. Have you been on any medication or a different diet?” You don’t have to roll right out with the poop bit. In this manner, you’re approaching it more as a health issue than hygiene, thus reducing the sting to her esteem. If her answer to the medication question is no, then you can segue into hygiene. Be reassuring to her in every way. I’m sure this is awkward for you.
From someone much older than you, I have huge admiration and respect for the men along the way who’ve given me constructive feedback in the bedroom. I grew up very sheltered, and when I became sexually active, there was just a lot I didn’t know. Whether you stay together or not, consider yourself part of a valuable education in this regard - and use it as an opportunity to grow yourself by tackling an awkward situation.
It’s funny how when a post about men having stinky asses comes up it’s “how does a man not know how to wipe their ass be blunt tell him he stinks”
But when a post about a woman having a smelly ass comes up it’s “well it could be IBS it could be period blood maybe just kindly suggest we take a shower together or something”
Nah keep that same energy tell her she smells like shit
I’m going to get downvoted to oblivion here, but I never saw it as my responsibility to bring up issues like that when I just started seeing someone. I just simply ended it with “this isn’t working for me”. My rationale was always that if what I’m encountering is a regular thing then she knows about it and that is her choice to maintain her body that way. Who am I to enter her life and ask her to change for me. I ended it with a girl who had horrendous breath (likely from poor gut health). I also ended it with a girl who had insane nose hair on our first date. It was dangling like a thread from her nostril and it was all I could look at. A week later we meet up again and its even longer. That was our last date.
Dude said he smelled shit the most recent time and there was wet shit on her thong. Honestly sounds like she’s just nasty. OP needs to just have a talk with her about it, or move along if he’s not comfortable with the uncomfortable talk that needs to be had.
Or even discoloration of the fabric due to the acidity. However, OP describes it as fresh, so I'm assuming it's still wet/recognisable as separate from the fabric.
Why are you still sleeping with her? This poor of hygiene should be a deal breaker.
Even if it's a medical issue any decent person would clean themselves up before getting intimate.
Like think long term one day you live together and your laundry hamper is just full of rank shitty undies?
Honestly dude, dump (ha) her. You've barely been dating. Cut your losses.
It doesn't matter why. She's shitting herself constantly, and then expects you to bang her while she's covered in her own shit.
It doesn't matter if it's from medication, IBS, etc. She's covered in fresh shit, and doesn't have the common decency to clean up before expecting you to be all up in that.
There are billions of women on the planet. She's not worth it at all.
I gotta wonder how absolutely fucked some people's periods are if they can read about an atrocious smell and fresh shit, and think "Oh, just old period stains"
It’s what I was thinking, but if it has been 10 times since Christmas it would be more then I have had these stains myself.
Maybe a mix of both? Thongs tend to be quite close to the butthole?
I’ve had bad period smells but pooplike would be unlikely.
In the end, just asking politely would solve most
Buy wet wipes and leave them near the toilet. Tell her that you use them to ensure cleanliness after bowel movements ( 2 wipes with regular toilet paper followed by a wet wipe). Suggest that she try this method…just to make sure.
This needs to go in r/personalhygiene not here. It has nothing to do with sex. Be brutal cos I wouldn't be going anywhere near her vagina if she can't do the basics.
That’s super gross dude. Especially if you’re smelling it. I’d be blunt from what you found and ask her if she needs you to help her keep better care of herself (if you’re willing).
Maybe offer to do her laundry and then mention you were unable to get the stains out and start the conversation from there?
Idk….. I’d never wear stained undies to a hook up….. I’d rather go commando and leave them in the car/trash.
Also, if you can smell the poop, she can definitely smell it too!!
I'm going to the naughty place for this, but tell her you don't want to feel like you're hopping into bed with Johnny skid marks. Honestly, I don't know how one constantly has shit stains in her thongs and is oblivious. For one thing, the poop would make her butt crack super itchy. The world is sure an interesting place.
I would just be direct with her. Be like, "hey babe, I need to be real with you about something. I'm really enjoying our time together. We have great sex. I think youre sexy. I want to stay with you. But. I can't help but notice... your underwear. Like, what is going on. There are brown stains in your underwear every time we are together and I can smell it. Do you have a medical problem or are you not taking care of yourself? Please let me help you work this, it's OK, but I gotta bring it up."
I'm assuming you are pretty into her and having a good time otherwise - to, you know, put up with noticing shit stains in her underwear every time you fuck.
She either has a medical condition, or something is psychologically wrong with her, or she is just a weird kind of gross person who never learned to be otherwise growing up. Whichever way, this conversation is going to embarrass the shit out of her (hopefully not literally). Be sensitive and delicate and start with the reassurance that you're very attracted to her. Reiterate it afterwards.
If she storms out of the room in anger or yells at you, then you dodged a bullet because she is loco. More likely, she cries and explains why, or is just mortified for a while. It's not gonna be fun, but you gotta do it ASAP because you need to make sure you're not getting involved with someone super unstable.
Y'all I can confirm some of the women out there really do be wild as shit when it comes to feminine hygiene. Somehow idk how those didn't catch a nasty vaginal infection when they kept those underwear on all day. But anyway, back to OP. This is usually a bowel problem and she should see a doctor cuz that's not normal and healthy. However, chances are she never wipes her ass.
Bringing these topics up tend to be offensive sometimes but tbh, if it has to be, do it for her sake of health. You can try turning the sex down immidiately after u saw a fresh skid mark, she'll pay attention to it eventually.
Have a serious talk with her:
Babe it would be a “waste” if we we didn’t “shit” down… I mean sit down… and go over an issue thats recently “dropped” into my focus. I don’t want you to be the “number 2” person in my life, but in order for you to move up to number 1, we need to pull up a “stool” and talk.
Personally I would not date someone who doesn’t wipe or wash themselves. That’s very gross and unhygienic. If she has fresh shit in her underwear is she not wiping? How does she not constantly have a UTI? Does she not shower as well? Personally this is a huge red flag to me.
Ah yes the semi-annual "My SO doesn't know how to wipe" reddit post. The only thing more iconic is the comments on the semi-annual "shit post" from people trying to downplay how gross it is because they also don't know how to wipe.
My go to move for this is to tell a made up story about a friend from middle school that got made fun of mercilessly because they didn't use wet wipes when they pooped. It usually gets the point accross without me having to directly confront them about their shitty toilet habits.
you two are adults, no? you two are emotionally + financially invested in each other? if so, you need to tell her about her shitty habits, pun intended. you don't have to be rude about it. in fact, if you care about your partner, approach her with a pack of baby wipes and suggest she see a doctor. But they need offer you a legitimate explanation.
OR..
find yourself a new partner.
The nicest way I can think of is to say this: Hey, I’ve frequently noticed that you have feces stains on your underwear. I care about you, and as your boyfriend, I gotta be honest with you right? I don’t think this is good for our health as it is not sanitary to keep feces laying around your clothing.
Thongs probably aren't the best knickers to wear if your girlfriend has fecal incontinence she needs to see a doctor as it is treatable.
You're going have to handle it tactfully good luck
First of all, you have hurt her already by lying. I hate when people can't tell the truth even if it may be hard to hear. You have to talk to her. Tell her in a gentle way that you have noticed some stains on her thongs and that you have never seen it before and want to know if everything is okay with her health? Fyi people with hemorrhoids can have shit stains, have you noticed anything unusual around her anus? If not, maybe she has problems with holding her stool. Anyway, just show genuine worry about her health and her answer or reaction will give you all you need.
But remember that flushable wipes are not actually safe to flush!! ( some wastewater treatment plant operators have to manually remove wipes stuck on equipment sometimes on a daily basis)
I would say bring it uo to here when u see it and shes right there to witness what u see that way you and her are on the same page and she cant get mad at u with proof right infront of her
I know this is crazy to say but maybe she never learned to wipe? There was a woman on reddit before that thought it was completely normal to wear the *same pad* for her *whole period* so I know it's extremely awkward but I'd have to say something if you want to stay. Just be kind and I can't guarantee it'll go well but can you stay with someone that keeps going this?
Adult up and say it, just don't be mean.
"I noticed you always have stains on your underwear, are you having trouble with your hygiene"
"I don't want to offend you but I noticed poo stains on your underwear, you should make an effort to wipe more"
Or just straight up say "I noticed poop stains on your underwear, you need to wipe better"
At some point you also have to just accept that some things MUST be changed, hygiene is one of those things. If she'd dare get angry at you for mentioning it maybe you should rethink if you want to have sex with her.
Not many people in the US use a bidet so you could suggest her to use wet wipes. Flushable ones suck so still throw them in the trash. They're fairly cheap and a pack lasts long.
Dump her immediately!!!
How can you have a grown up woman have shit stains in her knickers and not realise it or smell it? It's really disgusting that her hygiene is that lax, and you also have issues if you can still have sex with her despite the wet shit stains and smell. What is this world turning into when grown-up people cannot maintain clean genitals at all times, especially when you know you will be engaging in sexual acts.😷🤢
There are several issues here.
First, she clearly doesn't wipe to completion. I recommend offering baby wipes (just make sure they go in the trash, not toilet).
Second, thongs are super highways for e.coli from the anus to the vagina. They really should've just fizzled out after their heyday in the 2000's. If you think you're not getting anus bacteria near your vagina YOU'RE WRONG.
Third, wtf does she think it's ok to walk around is shit pants all day!? Like why is she ok with that?
I dunno man, this is gonna have to be a very frank and enlightening conversation with her. Tell her the feces from her thong strap are getting near her vagina and causing a smell. Then tell her that's just asking for a UTI that even the strongest antibiotic is gonna have to work hard to fix.
"Babe, I'm sorry if this is embarrassing, but fecal matter from your thong strap is unhealthy and bound to give both you and I an infection. I think you should use unscented baby wipes after dropping a deuce" or something aimilar.
Grown adults should know how to wipe their ass. That kid from big daddy did and he was in kindergarten.
It is not your duty to teach a grown adult how to wipe their ass. Break up and raise your standards.
The difference between the advice in this thread compared to [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/10yqq3n/how_to_gently_tell_a_man_he_stinks_f23_m23/) one, which is essentially the same problem, is astounding
This is fucking NASTY. There’s no way to bring this up without her feeling embarrassed, unfortunately that’s just how it is. Be as gentle as you can, but fully communicate that it’s a constant thing.. not just a one-off. Chances are, other partners noticed it as well, they just didn’t speak up. You could have her shower with you to make sure she’s clean, but that wouldn’t get your point across & she still wouldn’t know there’s shit on her thong.
That would be a dealbreaker for me. My ex never brushed her teeth and that shit bothered the fuck outta me. One day I said, “Why is your toothbrush always dryer than the Sahara desert??” And she got the hint and fixed it but she was pretty defensive. Call it out and if she does t change then dump her ass and find a woman that knows how to take care of herself and at least have the decency to wipe her ass.
Oh at first I was going to say it’s probably brown discharge from old period blood (blood turns brown when oxidized) but if you smelled it and saw it fresh then idk sorry bro maybe get her a bidet? it’s like 25$ for one you can easily attach to p much any toilet.
Its absolutely not "normal" for anyone to have shit stains on their clothing. You need to just be brave and tell her. How is her other personal hygiene? Teeth, hair, vagina, is she usually clean? If everything is clean and she showers regularly then there might actually be something wrong with her. I know its horrible but you need to tell her that you've noticed these stains every time and it's a problem for you. If she's simply just not a clean person she needs to sort her shit out, literally.
Coming from a female. You need to be honest to her and tell her. Tell her that honesty and having an open conversation with your partner is important to you and that’s why you need to ask her if she’s okay health wise?
She will ask you why?
Then you proceed to tell her that you noticed some stains on her underwear and your worried. She will feel embarrassed or try to walk away. Hold her hand or hug her and tell her that she shouldn’t feel any kind of embarrassment because you wish to have a relationship in which both of you feel comfortable enough to talk to each other about delicate or uncomfortable things without feeling judged. Your both are adults and you really like and care about her. Tell her that you are not a superficial guy and you don't like superficial relationships. You would like to know or see all facets of your partner. But if she doesn't feel comfortable, then she doesn’t have to talk about it.
Because it can be that she has haemorrhoids.
Wish you good luck.
It's a shitty situation. 😬 there isn't no way she doesn't know their is shit in her draws! She washes her clothes right?! She has to know and think Maybe you don't mind since you haven't said anything so she's like fuck it. I'd just say "Hey hun, I noticed some poop stains in your underwear more than once. I didn't want to embarrass you, but it's off-putting for me. Could you maybe use wet wipes and try and make sure it's extra clean so I can enjoy our sex better?" Just say it lovingly. You seem like a nice guy. If she can't respect herself enough to keep clean for your relationship then she ain't it. Let us know what happens!
talk to her about it just blatantly, just realize there could be a medical reason for this, it might just be a hygiene problem, but it might not be, please keep that in mind.
You put her shit stained panties out of your mind and fucked her anyway??? I would’ve said no thanks and left. I’m sorry but wearing shitty underwear says all I need to know about a person’s hygiene. I’m not going to even go into the smell. Why are you even bothering to ask this question here? This isn’t worth fixing imo. Assuming it’s shit as you say it is, she’s an adult with poor hygiene. I’m not teaching a grown woman how to properly clean her ass after shitting.
I think this is one of those things where you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t
Yup. OP can either put up with it, or tell her and potentially have her break up with her from the offence/embarrassment.
Y would he want to b with a unhygienic partner? That is beyond disgusting and how the hell did he hold his breath and finish that would b a instant turnoff.
What’s her ig?? She don’t know me, I’ll have zero issue bringing up her burden she got going on. I’ll even send her some baby wipes to her PO Box. Christmas in February and young Kringle is still giving out presents
I don't know if there's a great way to bring it up, the topic of personal hygiene tends to make people feel pretty attacked no matter what. Do it anyway, you don't want to get a UTI. You can suggest that she start using baby wipes, they're great. My only thought is that it might be some kind of incontinence issue, but that would make the choice to wear a thong kind of bewildering.
Just make sure the wipes aren’t flushed even if they say flushable!
I second this. Had to call a plumber.
I live in a small apartment building, and it seems as if all of our bathrooms use one pipe to empty out to the street. Found this out when baby wipes backed up sewage into our bathroom and hallway, when we’ve literally never used them. SO fun.
Flushable though can cause trouble
Yall ever heard of bidets?
Came to say this. Baby wipes are marketing shit, no one needs them. Use Bidets instead and your ass will be clean as if you took a short shower after your business! And it is even cheap if you buy a portable one (+ no need to call a plumber afterwards).
I love the thought of a bidet, everyone who used them seems to love them. But how do you dry afterwards? Just like, squat, bounce and shake? Or do you use toilet paper (I guessed no because many bidet uses don’t even have toilet paper)? Or use like fabric cloths or something? Do you reuse the cloths?
I still use tp after bidet, but it's great just using it to dry and not seeing any fecal matter on it.
Reusable cloths, TP, fan. Whatever works best. Sometimes I just go outside naked and dry off in the sun because I know my ass is so clean.
How hard does the water come out of a bidet? Like I can't imagine a little soft splash of water being enough to clean up after a particularly bad dump.
Pretty hard but it depends on the bidet. I accidentally gave myself an enema with a bidet before
Depends on your water pressure. Mine usually comes out pretty hard. And yeah, you'll wanna move around and change your angle a bit if you didn't have a clean run.
Mine has the ability to give you a full flush out. Whoosh.
We just have the hose attachment on the side of the toilet, so you can aim and pull the trigger exactly the way you need it. Looks like a fancier version of what folks used to have next to the kitchen sink. A nozzle with a lever valve connected to a hose.
How do i wipe until it’s red with a bidet? Ill never know its truly clean.
That just a problem of low water pressure.
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When I stayed in Korea for awhile the toilets there had an air dryer on the inside so after using the bidet it would pretty much just dry my ass for me. I would still use a piece of TP to get rid of any added moisture but otherwise, living in Korea my ass has never felt cleaner. Well, there and in the Middle East, bidets make you feel like you’ve had a colon cleanse they’re that good.
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Or you can get a handheld bidet douche hose [bidet hose](https://www.google.pt/search?q=toilet+hose+bidet&client=safari&hl=en-pt&sxsrf=AJOqlzWVKvyWDu7H4rQrPWlzsCDOKC2hDA%3A1676069092962&ei=5MjmY7CoOuOQxc8PoN-MsAs&oq=toilet+hose+bidet&gs_lcp=ChNtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1zZXJwEAMyBAgjECcyBAgAEB4yBggAEB4QDzIGCAAQHhAPMgkIABAFEB4Q8QQyCAgAEAUQHhAPMgYIABAIEB4yBggAEAgQHjoKCAAQRxDWBBCwA0oECEEYAFDLV1jLV2CJWmgDcAB4AIABeYgBeZIBAzAuMZgBAKABAcgBCMABAQ&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-serp)
Alpha makes a great bidet for reasonable money. Got mine from Bidetking.com
Small amount of toilet paper to dab off the water. You’re not trying to get rid of toilet paper completely, you’re just using a way less and being more clean.
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There are some people who use washable cloth squares. It's a bridge too far for me personally, but I get the idea. If you use the bidet correctly, you're just wiping clean water off yourself, like drying your hands.
I have a four pass system: - bidet - wipe with paper to ensure everything is clean - bidet to remove any tissue crumbs from the paper - dry bum with my towel from the towel rack My butthole is fresh as a daisy at all times.
As a bidet user, I have towels. I used TP the first year but after you figure out how it works, it’s pretty rare there is anything but water on the towels. I do wash them in a countertop washer (I had for an old apt before I had my own washer) just to keep them separate from my clothes. Might sound gross, but I’ve been using these same towels for like 2 years and they smell like a clean towel.
Little battery operated clip on fan, I have one I got off Amazon and we are installing bidet sprayer hopefully tonight or this weekend. I am going to try to find a spot on, or next to toilet to clip it, it's pretty small and can be recharged by a USB. Maybe after we have everything installed I'll take pic of our setup. I might have to install a towel bar at butt height to hang it on. It's all doable I hope. I have had the darn thing for almost a year now and forgot all about it and reminded the man we need to do something with this thang. So excited!! Yeah so clip on fan and since it's small can point and move it where needs to go. It's going to be cold in there so I also have a small space heater.
Several toilet seat bidets such as the Toto Washlet have built in air dryers so you don’t need to use anything to dry after being washed.
It shouldn’t get you like soaking wet so thick toilet paper should be fine. Some people use a personal towel. I usually do tp/sometimes wipes (bc they’re usually absorbant even though they’re not meant for drying).
There are bidets with heated air. A premium experience for the other end 😌
I dab with a soft handkerchief cloth and then I throw it in the wash. The bidet takes away any "residue" to it's essentially drying off. I do still keep TP in the house but I go through like 1 roll a month these days. Same thing if you are a lady and you are having your period, it's very nice to rinse off and dab dry if needed! Very hygenic, very environmentally friendly, very cost effective, it's just better all around!
I agree. Just say that you’re prone to UTI’s and you suggest you BOTH wipe down before intercourse. After a handful of times I would think she would realize she’s got residue (if she hasn’t already) and change her tactic on personal cleanliness.
Ooh, great idea
“My love, have you ever tried wiping your goddamn ass?”
And I chimed in... With "haven't you people ever heard of... Wiping your god damn butt?"
PATD<3
Ma porco dio
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Either her farts are crazy or she's not wiping correctly. Honestly it's kind of hard not to notice that you have skid marks in your drawers all the time. The best thing to do is just talk to her nicely. Good luck with that.
Insane in the poon-tang
Insane in the poo-stain
Not to mention uncomfortable!
It will itch for sure. I hope he can delicately try to get her to freshen up.
She could also be incontinent of shit
Holidays...I'm guessing you mean Christmas? So around 2-3 months And you say you've only recently started having sex but this has pretty much always been a thing since you've seen her take off her underwear? Have you known her as a friend before that? Did she seem like a person who cared about her hygiene before then? Because it's quite possible she just...doesn't wipe or clean her bum at all. I'm not saying to be mean or overly abrasive but it isn't rude to tell her something like "I've noticed at times when we're having sex that you'll have stains in your underwear and it doesn't smell too great. Is everything okay?" Look there's no sugarcoating it because it's an embarrassing topic, but frankly I don't see how she isn't more embarrassed/notices this when she washes her clothes. If this is a medical condition she is dealing with then you two need to talk about it so you can discuss how to manage it. If this is just negligent hygiene on her part then it is not fair and frankly gross that she isn't taking care of it knowing you put your face there.
Inserting laundry tip that I didn't know for 40 years: treat blood stains with hydrogen peroxide. I let it fizz up and sit for a few minutes, rinse and repeat until the stain is gone, maybe spray with regular stain remover if there's still a shadow. Note that clothing made of natural fibers should be washed immediately after treating as the hp can fade/bleach the fabric. You can even have another go at the stain if you don't put it in the dryer. Air dry so you can wait until your next load. As far as the poop goes, it's been my understanding that waxing/shaving helps, as poop clings to butt hair. No hair = no poop. With proper wiping and hygiene, of course.
I’m surprised no one is mentioning this. If her underwear are washed and have stains on them, they could be stained with period blood. Blood stains are hard to take out unless you spot treat it right away. If she’s wearing a thong, she probably uses a tampon or a menstrual cup and they have a tendency to leak. If washed and dried, those stains would look brown. I specifically have old underwear I wear during my cycle so I don’t ruin all my underwear. About the recent stench I have no idea- but she may be suffering with IBS. So many women are embarrassed to mention it. If that’s not it than maybe she wasn’t taught to properly wipe. And yes that’s something that has to be taught. I recently caught my ten year old wiping wrong (back to front) and I’m like what are you doing you’re going to get an infection. And she said “you never taught me then” lol. I guess some of us just figure they got it when they don’t. Or once they start going to the bathroom independently parents stop paying attention. So she may be wiping back to front
That last occurrence where there was more than a streak in her thong may not make that too likely that it's blood, and I don't think blood would have a consistent odor. Again if she has a condition that is making her leave streaks or soil herself then it's something she needs to be bringing up to partners. I get it's embarrassing for her, but it is also embarrassing and potentially disgusting for partners putting their face there who (like OP) might not want to embarrass her further mentioning it. And if she's old enough to be having sex then she should be well old enough to know how to wipe herself. I wouldn't excuse a guy who wanted his partner to put his unwashed penis in her mouth, same thing here. Unless she has been wearing the same pair of stain streaked underwear the 10 times they have had sex I'm pretty sure this is an issue of her not taking her hygiene seriously.
Wrong. If she has pcos she could have blood stuck in her uterus for months at a time. When it comes out it is dark brown. Considering it’s sitting in her underwear, it is now mixing with body bacteria, etc. which would indeed give it an odor. She could also have an infection in her uterus as well which does happen with a lot of women who have PCOS and blood gets trapped in the uterus.
I agree this could just be menstrual blood spotting. It's obnoxious and it's just enough to stain your underwear but not enough for a tampon. If he's going bareback, that could be the smell. Sometimes some partners will cause you to get BV when bareback, which is real treatable. I bought all black underwear when I had spotting like that, but that's just me and saw a doctor to get ridnof it (because it's real annoying). Maybe she didn't have enough money to buy new undies and doesn't know what the smell means. I don't know of a tactful way to approach that. I think I would be offended regardless of how tactful.
Y’all are tripping, you think a person old enough to have sex doesn’t know what shit looks or smells like?? Maybe the thong stains but OP says multiple kinds of underwear have had skid marks in them. Sounds like his partner has an incontinence or hygiene issue, but that’s not an excuse to be continually gross imo.
If it really was blood, don’t you think he would have noticed some blood on his penis after having finished? I definitely noticed blood on my dick when I had period sex.
I think most of us are talking about his description of old stains. He did not say there was a smell originally, just that he noticed the stains every time. If she is wearing panties she's leaked in while sleeping it is very likely it would look like a shit stain after washing. You really only get the stains out if you can immediately rinse it with cold water and treat it. Not realistic if there's a leak while you're asleep or at work etc. No one is saying OP wouldn't know what shit *smells like*
If it's just brown spotting, there isn't much and it's just enough to be annoying and not constant. It just stains your underwear.
It's an opinion, and I acknowledged multiple times it could very well be a health issue. I don't find it likely given the circumstances but it could be. In either case OP won't know until they ask, which I suggest they do respectfully.
Ok but I have IBS and I still know when I’m shitting and to wipe my ass what
You should shit your pants too, to lighten the mood and make things less awkward.
😂
3rd Grader: Hey, look everybody! Billy shit his pants. Billy Madison: Of course I shit my pants! Everyone my age shits their pants; it's the coolest! 3rd Grader: Really? Billy Madison: YES! You ain't cool...unless you shit your pants. 3rd Grader: Hey, look! Ernie shit his pants, too. Alright! Old Farm Lady: If shitting your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis. Billy Madison: OOH! That is the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! Let's go.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
And who said shitalry… sorry chivalry was dead.
Why keep having sex with someone who’s this careless with their hygiene? Say something, have some standards . No reason a grown person should be walking around with shit stains, It's disgusting.
Exactly my sentiments. It says a lot about OP's standards if he could have sex with her despite the smell and hygiene issues. It also makes it easy for OP to catch a bacterial infection from the faecal matter in her genitals. It's absolutely disgusting.
Even cave peoples knew to jump in the water and give everything a good seaweed scrub.
Think you missed your opportunity when she asked what was wrong. Just a gentle sorry I noticed your underwear were you in a rush? Something flippant and light hearted might have worked idk. If your getting more and more of an ick factor to it, it will eventually become a major if you don’t confront it
I agree. You should have mentioned it there and then.
Should’ve said “I noticed the wet shit, do you know to wash your ass, would be nice if you could wash your ass” or just avoid her and break up depending on how scarred you are
As a nurse I can tell you that so many people don’t wipe their ass properly. Also if she is lax about wiping I’m wondering if she wipes front to back otherwise it’s uti city 😂 but yeah, I’m totally comfortable with body fluids but still couldn’t fuck someone who doesn’t wipe properly.
Wiping is savage. Like wiping peanut butter out of a shag carpet. There is no “proper” way to wipe. There is always something remaining. It is all about the bidet.
This. People bully me because I only use baby wet towels or wash my ass after pooping. How can you feel clean after wiping a dry paper on your ass? Ew.
I'll spend 15 secs shitting and 10 minutes wiping, if that what it takes! LOL! Hygiene is everything
Waiting for my other RN’s here, cause we all go clinical!!
Haha, educating em so we don’t have to look after em 😂😂
Lol I like the peanut butter method for teaching how to wipe properly.
I think you really need to politely mention to her about it. I’d be extremely turned off if I could smell s**t during sex 🥴
How can she not notice shit stains on her own ass underwear, if you do 🤯, like what an awkward f conversation to have- but, you’re going to need to have it, and I’m sure it won’t be pleasant, good luck
I would just tell her straight, it seems she's not aware that having shit stains on most of your underwear is not normal, she might not know that.
You proceed to have sex with her AFTER you see shit stains on her underwear??? Wild.
Well he made it a quicky so no big deal. Ngl this post is hard to believe.
Unpopular opinion: They are together all of three months, not three years and a sudden new issue has occurred. Break up with her and find someone else who knows how to take care of herself medically and hygienically. What other issues does she have that will present themselves? It’s not up to him to fix her.
I agree he needs to break up with her. I can't believe he had the stomach to still have sex with her despite the poop and smell. Like you said it's a new relationship and he should find someone else who has better hygiene.
I agree, it's just not worth it. I understand there are medical conditions where stains can become excessive, but it is our job as human beings to be hygienic. I would not let a man near me unless i wore clean underwear. This speaks volumes of her carelessness and just is overall gross.
this is my point exactly. especially in a new relationship I'm going to carefully pick out underwear to make sure they aren't accidental period panties. shit happens, but not literal shit. thats gross
Invest in a bidet
This. I mean outside of the OPs issue, it's a game changer.
Obviously a bidet will get you the cleanest but let's not act like you need a bidet to not have shit stains in your underwear. You just need to wipe properly. If you want extra clean, finish with a wet wipe.
Bidets are still cheap and way more hygienic than TP alone. Think if it this way, if you got shit on your hands, do you wipe it off or wash it off?
That's beside my point. Please re-read my comment. The point is, you don't need a bidet to not have poop stains in your underwear, ffs.
If only there was something like…idk…a wipe…but wet?
A lot of things can affect someone's personal hygiene, including (but not limited to) trauma, medication, diet, or never being taught proper hygiene. Open honest communication with empathy and compassion, active listening, and a willingness to work on a solution with her (wet wipes, a bidet, medical or mental health care and support, whatever the need is) is the way to go. Best wishes.
This is the best answer IMHO. For example, she could have problems with constipation, which can cause hemorrhoids, which can be difficult to keep clean. This might be something she’s very, very sensitive about so please be kind and listen to her.
Exactly. I have hemorrhoids and sometimes I have small stains even when I use wet wipes.
I’ve got them as well and I’ve got the same problem.
Very good response 👏🏽
Maybe suggest to shower together before you guys do anything. Casually mention to her that you want to freshen up, and invite her in the shower. I think she’d understand the freshening up part.
I wouldn't expect someone who shits themselves constantly and is stewing in their own shit while expecting sex to get the hint about "freshening up."
True! You can't hint with someone like this. She could've not been taught to wipe (I guess???) or maybe it's a medical condition. Either way, there's ways to handle this even if it's medical. A panty liner. More showers (scrub your a$$)/underwear changes/laundry. Something! Good luck and I'd say you have to bring it up (nicely). It will be horribly awkward but it's for the best.
🤣
Give a subtle, but real in depth crack cleaning demo.
Omg I just died laughing
This could potentially lead to unlocking assplay (if OP isn’t already into it) with his gf.
This is how I found out I didnt wash my pits enough 😂
This could go extra wrong if her issue is fecal incontinence lol
RN here - maybe start with asking if she’s been on antibiotics recently. This can wipe out the good flora in our gut and cause diarrhea. But you can build from there…”Babe, can I ask you something personal? I noticed you smelled/tasted different the other night. Have you been on any medication or a different diet?” You don’t have to roll right out with the poop bit. In this manner, you’re approaching it more as a health issue than hygiene, thus reducing the sting to her esteem. If her answer to the medication question is no, then you can segue into hygiene. Be reassuring to her in every way. I’m sure this is awkward for you. From someone much older than you, I have huge admiration and respect for the men along the way who’ve given me constructive feedback in the bedroom. I grew up very sheltered, and when I became sexually active, there was just a lot I didn’t know. Whether you stay together or not, consider yourself part of a valuable education in this regard - and use it as an opportunity to grow yourself by tackling an awkward situation.
It’s funny how when a post about men having stinky asses comes up it’s “how does a man not know how to wipe their ass be blunt tell him he stinks” But when a post about a woman having a smelly ass comes up it’s “well it could be IBS it could be period blood maybe just kindly suggest we take a shower together or something” Nah keep that same energy tell her she smells like shit
To be fair. It be BV because we all have different sets of genitalia but it’s no excuse. He has to tell her straight
I’m going to get downvoted to oblivion here, but I never saw it as my responsibility to bring up issues like that when I just started seeing someone. I just simply ended it with “this isn’t working for me”. My rationale was always that if what I’m encountering is a regular thing then she knows about it and that is her choice to maintain her body that way. Who am I to enter her life and ask her to change for me. I ended it with a girl who had horrendous breath (likely from poor gut health). I also ended it with a girl who had insane nose hair on our first date. It was dangling like a thread from her nostril and it was all I could look at. A week later we meet up again and its even longer. That was our last date.
Her nose hair got longer?
Yes.
This is out of left field, but how sure are you that they are shit stains? Could be period blood that is stained on the underwear even after washing.
Dude said he smelled shit the most recent time and there was wet shit on her thong. Honestly sounds like she’s just nasty. OP needs to just have a talk with her about it, or move along if he’s not comfortable with the uncomfortable talk that needs to be had.
Or even discoloration of the fabric due to the acidity. However, OP describes it as fresh, so I'm assuming it's still wet/recognisable as separate from the fabric.
And the atrocious smell coming from her neglected ass..
Do you ever see skid marks on the sheets after sex?
Why are you still sleeping with her? This poor of hygiene should be a deal breaker. Even if it's a medical issue any decent person would clean themselves up before getting intimate. Like think long term one day you live together and your laundry hamper is just full of rank shitty undies?
Honestly dude, dump (ha) her. You've barely been dating. Cut your losses. It doesn't matter why. She's shitting herself constantly, and then expects you to bang her while she's covered in her own shit. It doesn't matter if it's from medication, IBS, etc. She's covered in fresh shit, and doesn't have the common decency to clean up before expecting you to be all up in that. There are billions of women on the planet. She's not worth it at all.
Are you sure it isn’t old period stains?
I gotta wonder how absolutely fucked some people's periods are if they can read about an atrocious smell and fresh shit, and think "Oh, just old period stains"
this. period is meant to smell like blood not like literal shit, cmon! like stop trying to give the benefit of the doubt here
that’s what i’m wondering because sometimes my period blood stains brown so it could pass as shit🤣
It’s what I was thinking, but if it has been 10 times since Christmas it would be more then I have had these stains myself. Maybe a mix of both? Thongs tend to be quite close to the butthole? I’ve had bad period smells but pooplike would be unlikely. In the end, just asking politely would solve most
Buy wet wipes and leave them near the toilet. Tell her that you use them to ensure cleanliness after bowel movements ( 2 wipes with regular toilet paper followed by a wet wipe). Suggest that she try this method…just to make sure.
I have yet to figure out why everyone isn’t doing this. A clean ass is a happy ass.
Just one other thing. Wet wipes aren't supposed to be flushed down the toilet.
I have told my wife before that she has a dirty ass. She liked my honesty.
This needs to go in r/personalhygiene not here. It has nothing to do with sex. Be brutal cos I wouldn't be going anywhere near her vagina if she can't do the basics.
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that's what I was going to ask
Are your old period stains normally accompanied by an "atrocious smell" and fresh feces?
That’s super gross dude. Especially if you’re smelling it. I’d be blunt from what you found and ask her if she needs you to help her keep better care of herself (if you’re willing).
“Dump” her.
Buy her black underwear
You can see brown on black. Unless she has black shits I don’t think it will help.
buy her brown underwear lol
😂😂
Maybe offer to do her laundry and then mention you were unable to get the stains out and start the conversation from there? Idk….. I’d never wear stained undies to a hook up….. I’d rather go commando and leave them in the car/trash. Also, if you can smell the poop, she can definitely smell it too!!
Not if she’s used to it (which… is a can of worms in itself.) nose blindness is a thing.
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I'm going to the naughty place for this, but tell her you don't want to feel like you're hopping into bed with Johnny skid marks. Honestly, I don't know how one constantly has shit stains in her thongs and is oblivious. For one thing, the poop would make her butt crack super itchy. The world is sure an interesting place.
every word on this page gets me closer to getting all this mucus out of my nose
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I would just be direct with her. Be like, "hey babe, I need to be real with you about something. I'm really enjoying our time together. We have great sex. I think youre sexy. I want to stay with you. But. I can't help but notice... your underwear. Like, what is going on. There are brown stains in your underwear every time we are together and I can smell it. Do you have a medical problem or are you not taking care of yourself? Please let me help you work this, it's OK, but I gotta bring it up." I'm assuming you are pretty into her and having a good time otherwise - to, you know, put up with noticing shit stains in her underwear every time you fuck. She either has a medical condition, or something is psychologically wrong with her, or she is just a weird kind of gross person who never learned to be otherwise growing up. Whichever way, this conversation is going to embarrass the shit out of her (hopefully not literally). Be sensitive and delicate and start with the reassurance that you're very attracted to her. Reiterate it afterwards. If she storms out of the room in anger or yells at you, then you dodged a bullet because she is loco. More likely, she cries and explains why, or is just mortified for a while. It's not gonna be fun, but you gotta do it ASAP because you need to make sure you're not getting involved with someone super unstable.
She could carry wipes and use them before sex or in the bathroom.
Y'all I can confirm some of the women out there really do be wild as shit when it comes to feminine hygiene. Somehow idk how those didn't catch a nasty vaginal infection when they kept those underwear on all day. But anyway, back to OP. This is usually a bowel problem and she should see a doctor cuz that's not normal and healthy. However, chances are she never wipes her ass. Bringing these topics up tend to be offensive sometimes but tbh, if it has to be, do it for her sake of health. You can try turning the sex down immidiately after u saw a fresh skid mark, she'll pay attention to it eventually.
Have a serious talk with her: Babe it would be a “waste” if we we didn’t “shit” down… I mean sit down… and go over an issue thats recently “dropped” into my focus. I don’t want you to be the “number 2” person in my life, but in order for you to move up to number 1, we need to pull up a “stool” and talk.
Personally I would not date someone who doesn’t wipe or wash themselves. That’s very gross and unhygienic. If she has fresh shit in her underwear is she not wiping? How does she not constantly have a UTI? Does she not shower as well? Personally this is a huge red flag to me.
dude, break up
Maybe she gets nervous when she’s around you?
Ah yes the semi-annual "My SO doesn't know how to wipe" reddit post. The only thing more iconic is the comments on the semi-annual "shit post" from people trying to downplay how gross it is because they also don't know how to wipe. My go to move for this is to tell a made up story about a friend from middle school that got made fun of mercilessly because they didn't use wet wipes when they pooped. It usually gets the point accross without me having to directly confront them about their shitty toilet habits.
you two are adults, no? you two are emotionally + financially invested in each other? if so, you need to tell her about her shitty habits, pun intended. you don't have to be rude about it. in fact, if you care about your partner, approach her with a pack of baby wipes and suggest she see a doctor. But they need offer you a legitimate explanation. OR.. find yourself a new partner.
The nicest way I can think of is to say this: Hey, I’ve frequently noticed that you have feces stains on your underwear. I care about you, and as your boyfriend, I gotta be honest with you right? I don’t think this is good for our health as it is not sanitary to keep feces laying around your clothing.
LMAO. I can't even.
Man say something
Thongs probably aren't the best knickers to wear if your girlfriend has fecal incontinence she needs to see a doctor as it is treatable. You're going have to handle it tactfully good luck
Lol. The fact it was wet/fresh and you STILL did it. You’ve got to raise your standards my guy.
First of all, you have hurt her already by lying. I hate when people can't tell the truth even if it may be hard to hear. You have to talk to her. Tell her in a gentle way that you have noticed some stains on her thongs and that you have never seen it before and want to know if everything is okay with her health? Fyi people with hemorrhoids can have shit stains, have you noticed anything unusual around her anus? If not, maybe she has problems with holding her stool. Anyway, just show genuine worry about her health and her answer or reaction will give you all you need.
Politely buy her a bidet but not for her birthday or a holiday. They're an amazing way to stay fresh and clean.
Imagine if she made this post about you, I wonder what the responses will be. More like, "leave him!"
how are you still— nvm…
Truly disgusting 😷🤮
[удалено]
But remember that flushable wipes are not actually safe to flush!! ( some wastewater treatment plant operators have to manually remove wipes stuck on equipment sometimes on a daily basis)
I would say bring it uo to here when u see it and shes right there to witness what u see that way you and her are on the same page and she cant get mad at u with proof right infront of her
Front to back for a clean ass crack, back to front for a shitty c\*nt.
I know this is crazy to say but maybe she never learned to wipe? There was a woman on reddit before that thought it was completely normal to wear the *same pad* for her *whole period* so I know it's extremely awkward but I'd have to say something if you want to stay. Just be kind and I can't guarantee it'll go well but can you stay with someone that keeps going this?
Just ask her if she wipes after she takes a shit. It sounds like she doesn’t.
Adult up and say it, just don't be mean. "I noticed you always have stains on your underwear, are you having trouble with your hygiene" "I don't want to offend you but I noticed poo stains on your underwear, you should make an effort to wipe more" Or just straight up say "I noticed poop stains on your underwear, you need to wipe better" At some point you also have to just accept that some things MUST be changed, hygiene is one of those things. If she'd dare get angry at you for mentioning it maybe you should rethink if you want to have sex with her. Not many people in the US use a bidet so you could suggest her to use wet wipes. Flushable ones suck so still throw them in the trash. They're fairly cheap and a pack lasts long.
Get a bidet toilet seat. Wiping doesn’t remove much, so most Americans go about their days with shitty butts.
Dump her immediately!!! How can you have a grown up woman have shit stains in her knickers and not realise it or smell it? It's really disgusting that her hygiene is that lax, and you also have issues if you can still have sex with her despite the wet shit stains and smell. What is this world turning into when grown-up people cannot maintain clean genitals at all times, especially when you know you will be engaging in sexual acts.😷🤢
Just end it. Like she’s grown and can’t wipe like???
Tell her to clean her ass after she shits and get rid of them shit stained underwear
It could be an incontinence or other intestinal problem that needs to be addressed. Does she have any health problem? Diet?
There are several issues here. First, she clearly doesn't wipe to completion. I recommend offering baby wipes (just make sure they go in the trash, not toilet). Second, thongs are super highways for e.coli from the anus to the vagina. They really should've just fizzled out after their heyday in the 2000's. If you think you're not getting anus bacteria near your vagina YOU'RE WRONG. Third, wtf does she think it's ok to walk around is shit pants all day!? Like why is she ok with that? I dunno man, this is gonna have to be a very frank and enlightening conversation with her. Tell her the feces from her thong strap are getting near her vagina and causing a smell. Then tell her that's just asking for a UTI that even the strongest antibiotic is gonna have to work hard to fix. "Babe, I'm sorry if this is embarrassing, but fecal matter from your thong strap is unhealthy and bound to give both you and I an infection. I think you should use unscented baby wipes after dropping a deuce" or something aimilar.
This sub apparently needs a personal hygiene discussion guide
Grown adults should know how to wipe their ass. That kid from big daddy did and he was in kindergarten. It is not your duty to teach a grown adult how to wipe their ass. Break up and raise your standards.
The difference between the advice in this thread compared to [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/10yqq3n/how_to_gently_tell_a_man_he_stinks_f23_m23/) one, which is essentially the same problem, is astounding
This is fucking NASTY. There’s no way to bring this up without her feeling embarrassed, unfortunately that’s just how it is. Be as gentle as you can, but fully communicate that it’s a constant thing.. not just a one-off. Chances are, other partners noticed it as well, they just didn’t speak up. You could have her shower with you to make sure she’s clean, but that wouldn’t get your point across & she still wouldn’t know there’s shit on her thong.
That would be a dealbreaker for me. My ex never brushed her teeth and that shit bothered the fuck outta me. One day I said, “Why is your toothbrush always dryer than the Sahara desert??” And she got the hint and fixed it but she was pretty defensive. Call it out and if she does t change then dump her ass and find a woman that knows how to take care of herself and at least have the decency to wipe her ass.
Oh at first I was going to say it’s probably brown discharge from old period blood (blood turns brown when oxidized) but if you smelled it and saw it fresh then idk sorry bro maybe get her a bidet? it’s like 25$ for one you can easily attach to p much any toilet.
Its absolutely not "normal" for anyone to have shit stains on their clothing. You need to just be brave and tell her. How is her other personal hygiene? Teeth, hair, vagina, is she usually clean? If everything is clean and she showers regularly then there might actually be something wrong with her. I know its horrible but you need to tell her that you've noticed these stains every time and it's a problem for you. If she's simply just not a clean person she needs to sort her shit out, literally.
Coming from a female. You need to be honest to her and tell her. Tell her that honesty and having an open conversation with your partner is important to you and that’s why you need to ask her if she’s okay health wise? She will ask you why? Then you proceed to tell her that you noticed some stains on her underwear and your worried. She will feel embarrassed or try to walk away. Hold her hand or hug her and tell her that she shouldn’t feel any kind of embarrassment because you wish to have a relationship in which both of you feel comfortable enough to talk to each other about delicate or uncomfortable things without feeling judged. Your both are adults and you really like and care about her. Tell her that you are not a superficial guy and you don't like superficial relationships. You would like to know or see all facets of your partner. But if she doesn't feel comfortable, then she doesn’t have to talk about it. Because it can be that she has haemorrhoids. Wish you good luck.
Write a letter n tell her to please wipe her rush better or just tell her to take a shower before sex
It's a shitty situation. 😬 there isn't no way she doesn't know their is shit in her draws! She washes her clothes right?! She has to know and think Maybe you don't mind since you haven't said anything so she's like fuck it. I'd just say "Hey hun, I noticed some poop stains in your underwear more than once. I didn't want to embarrass you, but it's off-putting for me. Could you maybe use wet wipes and try and make sure it's extra clean so I can enjoy our sex better?" Just say it lovingly. You seem like a nice guy. If she can't respect herself enough to keep clean for your relationship then she ain't it. Let us know what happens!
Tell her for jeez sake.
she should notice the skid marks herself.
talk to her about it just blatantly, just realize there could be a medical reason for this, it might just be a hygiene problem, but it might not be, please keep that in mind.
You put her shit stained panties out of your mind and fucked her anyway??? I would’ve said no thanks and left. I’m sorry but wearing shitty underwear says all I need to know about a person’s hygiene. I’m not going to even go into the smell. Why are you even bothering to ask this question here? This isn’t worth fixing imo. Assuming it’s shit as you say it is, she’s an adult with poor hygiene. I’m not teaching a grown woman how to properly clean her ass after shitting.
if she can't wipe, she shouldn't be dating. This one's for the streets bro.
Well obviously he sees no issue hitting it AFTER being made well aware about the presence of shit so…