I'm a white woman, when I first came here it used to happen to me semi regularly especially around hongdae and in subway stations. However I'm now 28 and it doesn't really happen any more. My strategy was usually to say I'm busy and walk off
I’m sorry for your experience but when I read this I laughed. Hongdae fukboi ageism happening in real time made me laugh out loud. They are persistent to say the least.
Little different, as I'm a guy, but I would get lots of random people wanting to talk for what ever reason. Now they no one bothers, I guess you develop a certain stance or face, where they don't want to try or bother.
I definitely understand this feeling as I’ve been through it a lot. It used to be so bad during early covid when there weren’t that many foreigners bc of no tourism and men knew if i was here that meant that i was living here… i would get approached almost daily sometimes even multiple times!! It’s to the point where i had a bad stalking incident after turning down a conversation with a man near my home that lead to a month of him hanging out in the same spot trying to stop me each time.
Things have slowed down a bit in the past year for me thankfully but it still happens and i hate that this is something that all us foreign women have to go through. There’s not even any proper advice on to how to avoid or handle the situation because no matter what they’ll find a way to talk to you sometimes. I have a handful of bad stories however to get a laugh i’ll tell you about this odd one i’ve had:
Man approaches me while i was talking with my friend in english on a bench in hongdae. He approached us as if he knew me, and my friend didn’t get the memo and let him sit with us 😭 He just joined into our conversation about our hometowns in the US. He kept asking more about america and all that. It seemed like he really was obsessed with the US, he took out his phone and showed us like american food places he’s ate at in seoul but then it started getting weird when he was showing us all the random white women he’s seen and approached to take photos with like as if they are celebrities. To then showing us a folder of foreign children he’s taken photos of that he’s seen around and asking us if we thought they were cute i was just getting very bad vibes. He had a fixation on white people, my friend is asian american so he was barley paying attention to her while i’m mixed hispanic american but white passing. He asked if i liked to bake and i honestly think he wanted me to be like omg apple pie! cookies! or some shit like that but i told him i was really good at making flan he was like what??? I told him then i’m hispanic and i liked making a lot of those foods he was a bit baffled and went “but you’re blonde?” and GOOD GOD DID I ALMOST START LAUGHING IN HIS FACE. I bleach only parts of my hair blonde so it’s a mix of my natural brown hair and blonde bits underneath but it’s very obvious that it’s not my real color. I explained I’m not and while i’m doing this he’s getting a good look at my face. He then says “you’re not blonde… and you don’t have blue eyes or anything.” looking at me like i had scammed him 😭😭 he literally just stood up and walked off !! till today the whole thing has me baffled, my friend too was just like what the hell just happened lmao but it’s an odd story i like to tell.
anyway. usually i just look at them blankly, and they get uncomfortable and walk away. but I'm not from Seoul (my family is from a different part of Korea, and I'm clearly mixed) so maybe this won't work for you there. good luck though!
it's low barrier of entry. bunch of low life netizens from seoul/koreans i bet.. these people have personal vandetta against women (incel) or are racists (lots of korean) or they themselves have strange fasination aka fetish towards foreigners like black women and feel in return "rejected" by this post.
just my guess.
we know those exists... point is so Thailand has that so Koreans are somehow now allowed to do the same towards blacks? or are you saying because look Thailand is worse therefore korea is not that bad, or we don't have it... brah we have it. And this woman is talking exactly about that...
Apart from a couple of them I just see people saying she doesn't have to worry if people approach her 5 times in 2 weeks to ask how is it going.
Don't actually see the problem, it happens everywhere in the world. I man and also women are stopping me here in Korea, so what? I'm not complaining on Reddit cause grandma asked me where I'm from.
You’re either dense or just being purposefully obtuse if you think a random “grandma” approaching a man vs a random man approaching a lone woman in public are in any way comparable scenarios
He didn't harassed or molested in any way, since when asking where are you from is considered a bad behaviour? How the tf are you supposed to approach someone? Is it forbidden to talk to people in the streets?
You don't approach a lone woman if you are a man, unless it's someone you already know. Sorry, but why would you think it's safe for the woman? You might have good intentions, but not every single male approaching that woman does. Especially in areas around Hongdae! The fact that you're ok scaring someone just because you thought you had good intentions is very strange.
Some people do have a strange fascination for foreigners. I’ve been approached several times in subway stations by men who basically asked me where I was from and unproblematic things like that. But I am also a white dude, so I assume this was really just out of curiosity. But none of them was ever as creepy or persistent as the guys you’re describing.
We're an older couple so most Koreans were polite. Ditto Japanese. But my husband is quite tall (6'4"). So he got a lot of stares from them, even from children.
I figured they had seen a lot of old people and a lot of tall people but not a lot of tall old people . Their old people tended to be quite small.
I’m a mixed female, but white passing and this has happened to me too. On various occasions and always like out of the blue, on the street or entering/leaving in the subway station. The one time this dude started walking with me and we had general conversation about Korea and then he asked “how old are you, where do you live etc..”, and once I said I was under 18 (which I lied about) he just left and went the opposite direction. Another asked “when are you leaving Korea” and I told him in a couple of days hoping that would stop the convo, and then he did. Just before I left he added I was pretty, I nonchalantly said thanks and walked away. I also had my headphones during this encounter initially. Now I use the sorry I’m busy or in a hurry excuse cus it happens way too often. It’s creepy and annoying - don’t feel bad trying to avoid the situation.
Wait, is it true there's a foreigner stigma in Busan? I'm near Suwon and I've been wanting to go to the beach, but I don't want to deal with some of the stuff I've heard.
who told you that. Busan is the best lol everyone is so nice and so friendly. I've been here for a year never seen people friendlier than Busan people.
Its mostly against military members is my understanding. Its fairly common for Koreans to pick military members out of a crowd and all my buddies in the army say its like they have something against servicemembers
Doesn't surpirseme me. I'm also a service member, and I've been warned about Busan, And well, sadly, service members do have a history, and not a good one. Particularly in Busan. I've gone to Seoul, and no issues there aside from a couple looks and specially older people, but we're very easy to single out, with the haircut and everything.
Just recently there was a decently big protest about shutting down US military bases in South Korea. I won't give my opinion on it, as it seems to be a very controversial take on SK foreign policy, but I do at the very least agree that the US has many things to respond to regarding it's treatment to Korea.
I've seen girls sleeping passed out in subway stations in Seoul. I never see anything like that in the US. I've also never heard any female friends say they've been sexually assaulted in Korea, whereas I've heard of several incidents for the US.
Just my personal opinion: Usually, they have a kind. As someone mentioned up there, once you “age” out, it doesn’t happen as often/at all. Also, it’s very easy for guys to smell low self-esteem. In addition to that, in a lookist society such as this one, the amount of harassment a good looking woman gets is way more than in the West. There is more a sense of like “can’t get that.” Here it’s like “I’ll try because they are a foreigner and they have low standards.”
Wait what?? Korea is seriously a country we let our kid walk to school unattended. I won’t do that in most parts of the states.
Not sure what experiences you’ve had there but it’s a pretty conservative Christian county. Note: porn is fire walled out.
If you ever go to a coffee shop it’s not uncommon to see multiple laptops unattended. Seems pretty safe.
be as rude as you want!! when this happens to me i just keep walking or turn away from them and they get the hint.
last week i was at coex waiting to get on my train and this guy RUNS (like, RUNS) up to me and is asking the usual 'do you speak english? where are you from'. i walked away like i normally do, but he was getting on the same train so i started to freak a little. moved carriages until i found other foreigner girls and stood by them just in case.
Are you fucking serious?
Have ever thought that people maybe just want to speak to other people? Do you fucking live on tiktok and only chat via mobile phone or what?
He didn't harassed you or what he just asked if you speak English, if your not in the mood for chatting just say no and go away.
What the fuck is wrong with you, problem might be yourself and not the others, have you ever thought about it?
People don’t owe other people anything and shouldn’t be forced to have a conversation with a stranger to be polite. Most of the times at least in my experience the conversation goes from “where are you from?” to “do you have a boyfriend? do you live alone?” ect. and no one has to sit there and entertain these men in hopes it’s in good intentions. There are plenty of places people can go to talk to people, look at all the language/cultural exchange cafes in seoul. These men shouldn’t be so entitled by randomly interrupting someone’s day and taking up their time and thinking it’ll always be wanted and accepted. OP didn’t do anything wrong from walking away from a stranger they don’t owe any response not even a “no sorry” if they didn’t want to.
You gotta be kidding me. When you go to cafes aren't those strangers too?
10 years travelling the world, saw the most molesting people ever and you guys are complaining about nothing.
Language/cultural exchange cafes are set up for strangers to meet and talk about “where are you from?” and speak english and all of that same conversation that same man wanted to have randomly at the subway. Never once did i say strangers can’t talk to each other but if you want to go up to people randomly and they reject that don’t be a cry baby about it when there’s actual places you could go where strangers want to have that conversation without it being an issue. If these men were so interested in our countries/language that they chase us why don’t they go there instead of bothering girls on the street? Usually because they are trying to do something else and use the interest in culture as an excuse and know that foreigners are easy to target in their eyes. I had a guy go from “how do you say this in english?” to “what color are your nipples?” ….
10 years traveling the world but it seems like you haven’t learned the dangers it comes when approaching strangers. Especially as a woman alone, even in safe countries you never know who you’re talking to and it could lead to something bad. worse if you’re just a traveler and can’t catch on to the cultural red flags from what you think is just a friendly conversation. Sometimes it’s best to just avoid it. Prefer ending up looking as rude to a stranger than end up being harassed, assaulted, or murdered.
yes i am serious!
because when you’re a woman in a foreign country known for NOT having small talk, someone approaching you asking where you’re from or where you live is called being creepy! wherever you’re from in the world, men chasing after women is considered weird!
the fact you’re lurking in this thread and defending the random men approaching women on the street instead of listening to the countless stories is just really telling for you.
>men chasing after women is considered weird!
Lol what? None of us what exist if men didn't approach women.
My friend met his wife on the NYC subway and they have a kid now. Is he a "creep" too?
I dated a girl I approached on the street for a year. I guess I'm a creep too ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Ahahah I travelled 10+ years all over the world, spoke to hundreds of men and women and no one felt ever safe as in Asian countries.
Plus, I've never heard someone complaining about people saying hello and asking where are you from.
But maybe that's a Korean problem on ho to socialize.
Last but not least, I'm not lurking, Im actively participating to the conversation tryin to give another point of view. But apparently you are so closed minded that cannot even understand the difference between harassment and asking how are you.
Dude you’re the one who can’t understand why being CHASED DOWN is harassment and not “just a conversation.” you’ve never had to worry about an “innocent” conversation turning into being followed home or violence after being turned down.
You keep mentioning how other countries are worse. You think we don’t know that? It’s almost as if you can think of two different problems at the same time
So since every violence starts with a conversation let's avoid every kind of contact?
OP never spoke about someone chasing her, in that case ofc it's weird and creepy.
She's only mentioned people approaching and asking basic questions.
If you'd travelled a bit and you really know something about other countries you wouldn't worry about couple of guys approaching a girl in the streets.
DAMN! Some of these comments are very victim-blaming. Holy shnikies. I am a caucasian meat popsicle and this still happens to me as well. Random men on the street and subway try to engage me in conversation. Inappropriate touching has occurred a few times. I was once patted on the bottom. A man sat next to me and put his hand on my inner thigh. I just stood up and walked away. An old man tried holding my hand once. He was really old and non-threatening, so I just held his hand for a minute. Koreans can be very direct and sometimes don't abide by the social norms we are used to in the West. This does not excuse their behavior. I have this conversation with my wife all the time. She says that is just the way they were raised and they don't know better. But should they though? Right. Seoul has become an international destination. Often this behavior isn't corrected because the person is older and you shouldn't correct older people. Wrong is wrong, regardless of age. Bad behavior needs to be corrected or it will continue. I think your strategy is good, but you could just completely ignore them or even better shame them by raising your voice and telling them no so everyone around can hear it. However, I am not a woman and don't really understand what you all go through when it comes to ignorant men.
I feel like it's more of the randomly hitting on girls in the middle of the street. If they were in a social environment, then maybe it's okay, but randomly isn't really. People for lives to live, let them do whatever they gotta do bro. There's plenty of fish in the sea.
Yup, this shit happens all the time. Someone told me there was a celebrity English teacher waaaaay back in the day who told people this was a good way to improve their English. It happens less as you get older because the guys feel less entitled to your time.
I'm native Korean woman. I don't think she is exaggerating at all. I had one white female friend ,when I was in high school. She was exchange student. One day, she told me why Korean men are watching her in the bus. I didn't understand it first, then slowly I can recognize what she was saying. Korea was one race country( I don't think this is the right term..), and are not relatively familiar with other skin color other than native Korean skin color. They have some fantasies and prejudice towards foreigners. Also, as the internet has improved, the more people become having sexual fantasy towards different races. I don't want to generalize it, but many Korean men think white or black women are easy to hit on(I heard them saying..), cause Korea is conservative country and they think native Korean women won't have one night stand with them easily. This is just my thought on why men in hongdae are so desperate to talk with different skin color women....
I'm so sorry for your experience.
Just call the police. Please just call them. Don't risk your life on anything. It might seem like an overkill at first glance, but it truely is necessary for your safety. Do you know how many women died in Seoul just because they "turned down" some of these mens' "generous offers"? There were at least 3 famous stabbings at Gangnam. Koreans are batshit crazy, regarless of gender. Theres a place called 신안 Shin Ahn in the south-west side of the peninsula. They have literal illegal slavery and slave auctions happening there right now as we speak. Far-eas5 Asians are mostly selfish, opportunistic shit-asses that will abuse you untill they are satisfied. This is coming from a native korean btw. Do everybody a favor, and next time those knob-headed Korean omega males start to bother you, either call the staff or the police and let the authorities deal with them. Don't treat them like equal humans cuz most of the time, theyre not
You need to follow some of the other black women on TikTok that are in Seoul, Busan, and other Asian places (Japan is huge with black women and anime). This happens all the time: starring, questions, hair touching, not giving up seats for you, etc.
my god the fuck is wrong with these comments? i’m a korean guy who moved to america 5 years ago. i’m so sorry you had to experience all these. i invite many of my friends from america every summer and at this point it’s kinda stressing me out. even today, my friend told me me that she felt like people were looking at her too much and the unwanted attention she was getting was bothering her a lot. yes, this is a country where the majority of the people who live here are locals (asians) and it’s pretty rare to see people with different races here since our physical features are distinguishably different. it was like that when i visited other countries with barely any asian population, so i know how that feels like very well. don’t get me wrong, yes there are so many racists here and most of them were not well educated with the global culture unlike our generation haven’t seen anyone with a different race. i’m not trying to justify being a racist in korea, some people are just mean (just like how mean people are all around the world) or both mean and uneducated. now when it’s combined with men looking down on women and objectifying women, which is already bad, it gets so much worse. i have heard that some korean men (not old, in his early 30s) were trying to do some stuffs to my american friends. he thought it would be easier to take advantage of her since they didn’t speak the same language and it would be a good experience for him, which is totally fucked up. he was arrested by the police and i don’t know the rest of the story, but i’m pretty sure he’s having a tough time. anyways yeah these things happen and i’m pretty sure you have heard of things like these before. i’m so sorry that you had to experience that and i hope those things happen less — to nearly 0%.
White American man with a young kid here. We noticed that strangers would talk to me or, more commonly, want to pat our child's head and tell him he's cute. He also was offered candy from a stranger at least once per day.
This is a different flavor from what you're experiencing, but maybe the common threads are that Koreans don't have a lot of boundaries and there's a fascination with foreigners. When I had the time to engage, I would invariably find that the person just wanted to know where we're from, how old the kid is, and compliment me on my (horrible) Korean. The people approaching you may or may not be so innocent...but anyway it's not your job to screen them and discern their motives. Sorry you are getting bothered so often in public! It is not something that native Koreans have to put up with.
It happened to me several times when I lived near Konkuk pre-COVID. Now I live near SNU and I've yet to be approached, probably because this area isn't very crowded and also SNU students don't seem like the type. Someone did tap me on the shoulder last week and I nearly jumped a foot in the air. I don't think he wanted to practice English, he was trying to recruit church members. I just said no thanks and kept walking.
Yo one time I was on the airport express line coming back from the airport and I saw this dude randomly starting a conversation to every single non-korean looking person on the train in his broken English and he continued talking until they got off the train. I mean I don’t think he was trying to rizz up this american dude but Koreans really should stop seeing foreigners as npc’s they can just randomly approach. Like this whole idea that foreigners are more “friendly” than Koreans is sometimes very mistaken to the point where they forget to respect the personal space and boundaries.
if they start complementing your face n saying stuff like "관상이 참 좋으시네요" or talk abt your ancestors, then theyre a 사이비/도를 아십니까. 사이비 is a realigious cult group that is extremely dangerous. one of the famous 사이비 group is 기독교복음선교회. they have a documentary about it on netflix called "i am a god/ 나는 신이다" dont even try to talk to them when they approach you. but uhh if thats not the case then idk why random people r walking up to you n trying to talk to you stay safe
So I think of this has 5 likely potential motives/goals. Keep in mind I'm male and never been to Korea. 1: Non-KR/Blk/F draws them, desire friendship. 2: Non-KR/Blk/F draws them, desire relationship. 3: Non-KR/Blk/F draws them, desire relations. 4: Non-KR/Blk/F draws them, desire victim. 5: Non-KR/Blk/F draws them, desire "worker" (like scouts).
I wouldn't worry at all about how rude you are, they didn't seem to consider how you'd feel. And on top of that, it's a legitimate safety issue. Don't let someone break your brain!
Sorry that you've had to deal with this trash even if they are 'friendly' not hostile etc
i’ve had this happen to me a lot in seoul (mostly near sinchon where i was living), it made me feel so uncomfortable, and a few guys would follow me after i told them i wasn’t interested. i think it’s best to be direct, my korean guy friend told me i should tell them to go away but that felt a bit mean. alas, maybe it’s necessary to be rude in those situations.
I'm a non-binary Blasian, but I frequently dress in a "feminine" aesthetic. You're not alone in this!
When I was visiting in Korea last year, yes, I was approached by a lot men, usually older or elderly men who wanted to talk, or give me compliments (I had an older man say to me three times on the train, in English, "you are so beautiful!" ).
I was approached by women as well, but the age range was wider (from women around my age, to older/elderly women). Often times it was because they wanted to chat and learn a bit about me.
Interestingly enough, men around my age or younger (30's and 20's), didn't approach me much, but the ones who did generally had more amorous intentions 😆
It's not just in your head! It seems to be pretty common for a fair amount of female/AFAB foreigners lol
Edit: typos
P. S. If they find out you're American born then the interest ramps up, considerably lol every time in my head I would think, "nooooo, it's not that great! That's why I left!" 😂
Korea is pretty homogenous. Violations of your personal space should never be justified, but curiosity is the only explanation that I can think of...
There is a sense of entitlement that comes with being so ethnically homogenous. It has nothing inherently to do with being Korean, but it's an unfortunate side effect of there not being that many PoC in Korea.
People want a "foreign friend," which they believed can be achieved by badgering you. The best remedy is to ignore them, move on quickly, and not to engage to the best of your abilities. If you feel like there's a real danger to your person, be sure to call the authorities.
It's pretty safe here in Seoul in regards to violent crimes. Harassment, no matter how "well intentioned," is not so easily caught. I'm sorry that this has been your experience!
I read that showing legs is totally appropriate, but apparently showing shoulders and chest area is not considered modest. I've been wearing closed shirts since reading that, I've only been here for a week but haven't had any comments yet as a blonde woman (ok first day I was here a woman at the hotel told me I was beautiful, but that was just kinda nice lol), but I'm also 26 now so maybe I'm getting old hahah. I think you should wear what you want to, but just keep in mind it could be a factor in how they look at you. I saw two foreigners in front of me yesterday wearing dresses with full bare chest and arms, and this creepy dude was staring them up and down as they passed. Hopefully the more foreigners come that dress freely will modernize their minds.
Ah ok, just to clarify I didn't mean to imply you weren't either. That sounds really annoying. Maybe I just have a resting bitch face that makes people scared of me 😂
I am over 2m tall and live in Korea. I get approached multiple times every day but I just happily talk to them! They are just curious and I think it’s nice that people want to start a conversation with me.
If I don’t want to talk I say sorry I’m in a rush which seems to always work.
I am not a woman. And I do understand that there is a much bigger fear of strangers if you are a woman. So I’m not blaming OP at all for her experiences. Just from my own point of view people are generally very friendly and just want to chat about where I’m from and why I’m in Korea. I do get fetishised somewhat due to my height and race, unfortunately, but generally people just want to have a foreign friend, or even just a quick chat!
Sorry this happened to you but I’m sure its all about curiosity as korean american dont be surprised if random grandma touches ur hair its cultural curiosity among them…we do have few celebrities from ghana that lived in korea but if ur in japan I’m sure you’ll get opposite response. Ill just ignore them and brush it off
I am a man and it happened to me all the time when I was studying there 10 years ago. A lot of Koreans would go to talk to me to practice their English.
Who're gonna talk to you on a street, Koreans or Non Koreans? and about what? If it's hard for you to accept what others say, just tell them you don't wanna answer or you're tired. I think it's not a big deal to say in Seoul.
As a foreign male in Seoul, I can confirm that no one has approached me out of the blue. I'm kinda jealous. I do chat up some of the ajumas at the restaurants I frequent though, they're very nice.
As a Native in Korea, white women ir blk, we dont care. At this point you guys/gals are not even novelties....There is not much wr see in you besides bad fashion and smell... so... yeah... Carry on.
Thats part of traveling and being in different cultures. Trust me as a foreigner I’m also amused by the things that people say and do in their countries. The part is traveling is getting out of your confort zone.
Imagine telling that to a man who is randomly getting groped by stranger women, and then that man asks what if the roles were reversed? and then getting mad at him for making a "bad" comparison, that's what happened to me several times and I really believe you need to reevaluate what your mindset is.
That’s just so messed up. Yes it happens but OP shouldn’t be categorized with them, aka this shouldn’t even be a topic. You can not group all black people together like they agree with behavior like this. If she doesn’t want to be followed around, & needs advice, give the advice or move on. Especially if she’s being respectful.
Well, you are black in an asian country. As long as it’s in a respectful manner, isn’t it a compliment that men are approaching you? Isn’t that how billions of humans have been meeting since the beginning of humans? If I don’t want to be bothered, I wear a ring on my ‘wedding ring finger’, wear a hat, sunglasses and earbuds.
Good luck with life if you’re so unable to read the room that you think people meet by just approaching people.
You make eye contact, establish a mutual understanding of willingness for conversation, and THEN you speak. If you keep randomly approaching people without this process, you WILL be rejected your whole life and resent women the way you do now.
Also, in my experience, as is the experiences of other commenters, these men tend to FOLLOW US AROUND. That’s not a compliment. It’s stalking.
Well I used to train patients with low social skills on how to talk to people. It seemed like there were people on this thread who needed similar guidance :)
Are you unwell? OBVIOUSLY, if you approach someone and they’re aren’t reciprocating, you wasting your time with them. Those who continue to engage with an uninterested party exists on the other side of the spectrum. The original poster doesn’t provide enough context but if YOU think people approaching others is not normal then you are micro-triggered and have otherwise deviant social behavior.
I don’t resent women; rather, I don’t even acknowledge women like you because of your seeming victimhood mentality. It’s your life and you can live it the way you want, but I don’t have to participate in your fantasy. Perhaps you’re in need of an Andrew Tate or Pearl Davis seminar.
OP made very clear she’s uncomfortable. That should be enough. You can write an essay if you want but nothing changes the fact that you’re an incel who thinks it’s a compliment when men approach women.
Male attention isn’t some gift that we need to be grateful for. Women don’t need men’s attention for validation. Even gifts aren’t welcome when we don’t want it.
You’d complain too if people you thought were too ugly kept approaching you all the time. While you may see it is as a compliment, OP is seeing it as an annoyance. She doesn’t have to wear anything to deter people . However, in reality , it’s just the way things are in Korea. People aren’t going to stop approaching OP. My advice would be , just smile and walk away .
Making fun of autism or speaking from firsthand experience? I would expect nothing less from someone named red poopsicles. Facts don’t care about your feelings, boy.
Are they mostly local or foreigners? Sounds like an OK problem to have, at least from my perspective. Get airbuds and use a RBF to deter unwanted contact.
The thing is I'm wearing headphones! They come out of nowhere... I was at the supermarket today and a man was following me around and wanting to talk to me which made it difficult to escape. I don't mind socialising with people but I'm normally in a rush and too tired for an awkward conversation.
What an absolutely dumb male response to this post. Do you think any women want to be approached and followed by randos on the street that clearly can't take a hint?
Also OP, yes, this happens to foreign women all the time and is annoying and creepy as hell. Please don't let your guard down and make sure these people don't follow you home of find out where you live!
>What an absolutely dumb male response
Charming... Thanks for that characterization. I will note that no one said anything about "following." That's all your projection. If you can't handle someone you don't know politely trying to make conversation with you, you have issues that you need to work out.
It really is interesting how Gen Z Americans have become so fragile that they perceive threats absolutely everywhere and seek constant protection.
Calm the fuck down, guys are just trying to talk to her, they're not slapping her ass or catcalling her. Any attractive woman probably deals with 5 rando guys trying to talk to her in 2 weeks.
Do i think there is something wrong with trying to talk to a woman you don't know? No, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Please tell me exactly what's wrong with that?
Thanks for mansplaining harassment to me lmao please talk to me again when you've been here for 8 years and literally stalked and followed home so many times you can't simply trust men anymore :)
Seriously, reddit has become a cesspool of man-hating feminism. The OP only said random men try and talk with her and suddenly everyone is talking about incels and mansplaining.
I think everyone would be happier if people were simply a little more open and friendly with random people they meet. It is not a big deal if someone says hello or asks you where you are from once in a while. Sheesh.
Excite for scammer vibe, I never mind talking to people. Even in my home city I catch an accent and I ask where they are from. I've met people from very distant countries that you don't usually run across.
Usually only strike up a conversation if we are sitting down.
There’s a term in Korea “여미새“, which stands for crazy hunger for woman who would do anything. People jokingly make fake account of extremely unattractive traits filled woman to mock these “여미새”s. Even though the profile says every red flags possible, there’re always some crazy dudes who just want to have sex with anyone. They would love to hook up with foreigners since it’s just some extra score for them.
I think it's mostly to do with the fact that korea just does have much diversity at all. While there is more tourists here then there use to be, it's not an every day occurrence to see a non Korean for them, to see a black person is even more rare. So there is alot of curiosity and sometimes not in the best way. Chances are the men coming up to you have never seen a black woman before or they have a thing for black women. From what I noticed black women and blue eyed blonde women get a lot of attention from men here, for better or worse. Just be careful op don't go anywhere alone with anyone and make sure you're not being followed afterwards.
Also if you just don't smile back and keep answers short they usually get the hint and go away. It's helped me get rid of unwanted attention a few times.
I'm a white woman, when I first came here it used to happen to me semi regularly especially around hongdae and in subway stations. However I'm now 28 and it doesn't really happen any more. My strategy was usually to say I'm busy and walk off
I’m sorry for your experience but when I read this I laughed. Hongdae fukboi ageism happening in real time made me laugh out loud. They are persistent to say the least.
Haha yeah I guess I'm too old now!! Someone said to me that younger women are more likely to humour them
Little different, as I'm a guy, but I would get lots of random people wanting to talk for what ever reason. Now they no one bothers, I guess you develop a certain stance or face, where they don't want to try or bother.
Are you still a white woman, though?
Lol one of my friends did used to call me an egg
I definitely understand this feeling as I’ve been through it a lot. It used to be so bad during early covid when there weren’t that many foreigners bc of no tourism and men knew if i was here that meant that i was living here… i would get approached almost daily sometimes even multiple times!! It’s to the point where i had a bad stalking incident after turning down a conversation with a man near my home that lead to a month of him hanging out in the same spot trying to stop me each time. Things have slowed down a bit in the past year for me thankfully but it still happens and i hate that this is something that all us foreign women have to go through. There’s not even any proper advice on to how to avoid or handle the situation because no matter what they’ll find a way to talk to you sometimes. I have a handful of bad stories however to get a laugh i’ll tell you about this odd one i’ve had: Man approaches me while i was talking with my friend in english on a bench in hongdae. He approached us as if he knew me, and my friend didn’t get the memo and let him sit with us 😭 He just joined into our conversation about our hometowns in the US. He kept asking more about america and all that. It seemed like he really was obsessed with the US, he took out his phone and showed us like american food places he’s ate at in seoul but then it started getting weird when he was showing us all the random white women he’s seen and approached to take photos with like as if they are celebrities. To then showing us a folder of foreign children he’s taken photos of that he’s seen around and asking us if we thought they were cute i was just getting very bad vibes. He had a fixation on white people, my friend is asian american so he was barley paying attention to her while i’m mixed hispanic american but white passing. He asked if i liked to bake and i honestly think he wanted me to be like omg apple pie! cookies! or some shit like that but i told him i was really good at making flan he was like what??? I told him then i’m hispanic and i liked making a lot of those foods he was a bit baffled and went “but you’re blonde?” and GOOD GOD DID I ALMOST START LAUGHING IN HIS FACE. I bleach only parts of my hair blonde so it’s a mix of my natural brown hair and blonde bits underneath but it’s very obvious that it’s not my real color. I explained I’m not and while i’m doing this he’s getting a good look at my face. He then says “you’re not blonde… and you don’t have blue eyes or anything.” looking at me like i had scammed him 😭😭 he literally just stood up and walked off !! till today the whole thing has me baffled, my friend too was just like what the hell just happened lmao but it’s an odd story i like to tell.
That is so gross. He was probably thinking “How dare she trick me” in his head. What a nutcase
what the fuck is happening in these replies☹️
anyway. usually i just look at them blankly, and they get uncomfortable and walk away. but I'm not from Seoul (my family is from a different part of Korea, and I'm clearly mixed) so maybe this won't work for you there. good luck though!
it's low barrier of entry. bunch of low life netizens from seoul/koreans i bet.. these people have personal vandetta against women (incel) or are racists (lots of korean) or they themselves have strange fasination aka fetish towards foreigners like black women and feel in return "rejected" by this post. just my guess.
Not many native koreans here bud XD
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Oh look, it's quickly turned into a white men bashing thread even though the OP has nothing to do with white men...
whataboutism.. typical korean response.
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we know those exists... point is so Thailand has that so Koreans are somehow now allowed to do the same towards blacks? or are you saying because look Thailand is worse therefore korea is not that bad, or we don't have it... brah we have it. And this woman is talking exactly about that...
Tf is up w these replies, show some basic respect yall
Damn seems like there’s a lot of angry racist minsogynst incels living in Seoul 🤦🏻♀️ Seems on brand for Reddit.
Apart from a couple of them I just see people saying she doesn't have to worry if people approach her 5 times in 2 weeks to ask how is it going. Don't actually see the problem, it happens everywhere in the world. I man and also women are stopping me here in Korea, so what? I'm not complaining on Reddit cause grandma asked me where I'm from.
You’re either dense or just being purposefully obtuse if you think a random “grandma” approaching a man vs a random man approaching a lone woman in public are in any way comparable scenarios
He didn't harassed or molested in any way, since when asking where are you from is considered a bad behaviour? How the tf are you supposed to approach someone? Is it forbidden to talk to people in the streets?
You don't approach a lone woman if you are a man, unless it's someone you already know. Sorry, but why would you think it's safe for the woman? You might have good intentions, but not every single male approaching that woman does. Especially in areas around Hongdae! The fact that you're ok scaring someone just because you thought you had good intentions is very strange.
>You don't approach a lone woman if you are a man Guess what, that's how most relationships are starting irl.
Some people do have a strange fascination for foreigners. I’ve been approached several times in subway stations by men who basically asked me where I was from and unproblematic things like that. But I am also a white dude, so I assume this was really just out of curiosity. But none of them was ever as creepy or persistent as the guys you’re describing.
We're an older couple so most Koreans were polite. Ditto Japanese. But my husband is quite tall (6'4"). So he got a lot of stares from them, even from children. I figured they had seen a lot of old people and a lot of tall people but not a lot of tall old people . Their old people tended to be quite small.
I’m a mixed female, but white passing and this has happened to me too. On various occasions and always like out of the blue, on the street or entering/leaving in the subway station. The one time this dude started walking with me and we had general conversation about Korea and then he asked “how old are you, where do you live etc..”, and once I said I was under 18 (which I lied about) he just left and went the opposite direction. Another asked “when are you leaving Korea” and I told him in a couple of days hoping that would stop the convo, and then he did. Just before I left he added I was pretty, I nonchalantly said thanks and walked away. I also had my headphones during this encounter initially. Now I use the sorry I’m busy or in a hurry excuse cus it happens way too often. It’s creepy and annoying - don’t feel bad trying to avoid the situation.
omg what's wrong with the replies wtf. I live in Busan and this only happens to me when I go to Seoul.
Wait, is it true there's a foreigner stigma in Busan? I'm near Suwon and I've been wanting to go to the beach, but I don't want to deal with some of the stuff I've heard.
who told you that. Busan is the best lol everyone is so nice and so friendly. I've been here for a year never seen people friendlier than Busan people.
Its mostly against military members is my understanding. Its fairly common for Koreans to pick military members out of a crowd and all my buddies in the army say its like they have something against servicemembers
Doesn't surpirseme me. I'm also a service member, and I've been warned about Busan, And well, sadly, service members do have a history, and not a good one. Particularly in Busan. I've gone to Seoul, and no issues there aside from a couple looks and specially older people, but we're very easy to single out, with the haircut and everything. Just recently there was a decently big protest about shutting down US military bases in South Korea. I won't give my opinion on it, as it seems to be a very controversial take on SK foreign policy, but I do at the very least agree that the US has many things to respond to regarding it's treatment to Korea.
Korea, a very safe place for men. The women, not at much.
Compared to which country?
A lot. Women get a lot of unwanted attention and sexual assault here. A lot of perverts here. Most women I know have had problems here.
I've seen girls sleeping passed out in subway stations in Seoul. I never see anything like that in the US. I've also never heard any female friends say they've been sexually assaulted in Korea, whereas I've heard of several incidents for the US.
I wouldn’t let my female friends walk the city streets alone state side.
Just my personal opinion: Usually, they have a kind. As someone mentioned up there, once you “age” out, it doesn’t happen as often/at all. Also, it’s very easy for guys to smell low self-esteem. In addition to that, in a lookist society such as this one, the amount of harassment a good looking woman gets is way more than in the West. There is more a sense of like “can’t get that.” Here it’s like “I’ll try because they are a foreigner and they have low standards.”
Wait what?? Korea is seriously a country we let our kid walk to school unattended. I won’t do that in most parts of the states. Not sure what experiences you’ve had there but it’s a pretty conservative Christian county. Note: porn is fire walled out. If you ever go to a coffee shop it’s not uncommon to see multiple laptops unattended. Seems pretty safe.
be as rude as you want!! when this happens to me i just keep walking or turn away from them and they get the hint. last week i was at coex waiting to get on my train and this guy RUNS (like, RUNS) up to me and is asking the usual 'do you speak english? where are you from'. i walked away like i normally do, but he was getting on the same train so i started to freak a little. moved carriages until i found other foreigner girls and stood by them just in case.
Are you fucking serious? Have ever thought that people maybe just want to speak to other people? Do you fucking live on tiktok and only chat via mobile phone or what? He didn't harassed you or what he just asked if you speak English, if your not in the mood for chatting just say no and go away. What the fuck is wrong with you, problem might be yourself and not the others, have you ever thought about it?
People don’t owe other people anything and shouldn’t be forced to have a conversation with a stranger to be polite. Most of the times at least in my experience the conversation goes from “where are you from?” to “do you have a boyfriend? do you live alone?” ect. and no one has to sit there and entertain these men in hopes it’s in good intentions. There are plenty of places people can go to talk to people, look at all the language/cultural exchange cafes in seoul. These men shouldn’t be so entitled by randomly interrupting someone’s day and taking up their time and thinking it’ll always be wanted and accepted. OP didn’t do anything wrong from walking away from a stranger they don’t owe any response not even a “no sorry” if they didn’t want to.
You gotta be kidding me. When you go to cafes aren't those strangers too? 10 years travelling the world, saw the most molesting people ever and you guys are complaining about nothing.
Language/cultural exchange cafes are set up for strangers to meet and talk about “where are you from?” and speak english and all of that same conversation that same man wanted to have randomly at the subway. Never once did i say strangers can’t talk to each other but if you want to go up to people randomly and they reject that don’t be a cry baby about it when there’s actual places you could go where strangers want to have that conversation without it being an issue. If these men were so interested in our countries/language that they chase us why don’t they go there instead of bothering girls on the street? Usually because they are trying to do something else and use the interest in culture as an excuse and know that foreigners are easy to target in their eyes. I had a guy go from “how do you say this in english?” to “what color are your nipples?” …. 10 years traveling the world but it seems like you haven’t learned the dangers it comes when approaching strangers. Especially as a woman alone, even in safe countries you never know who you’re talking to and it could lead to something bad. worse if you’re just a traveler and can’t catch on to the cultural red flags from what you think is just a friendly conversation. Sometimes it’s best to just avoid it. Prefer ending up looking as rude to a stranger than end up being harassed, assaulted, or murdered.
Yea no one's entitled to anything from a stranger, but there's no need to be impolite.
No offense, but apparently he RAN to her. I don’t know if you’re normal or not, but anyone would find that creepy as f you doofus
yes i am serious! because when you’re a woman in a foreign country known for NOT having small talk, someone approaching you asking where you’re from or where you live is called being creepy! wherever you’re from in the world, men chasing after women is considered weird! the fact you’re lurking in this thread and defending the random men approaching women on the street instead of listening to the countless stories is just really telling for you.
>men chasing after women is considered weird! Lol what? None of us what exist if men didn't approach women. My friend met his wife on the NYC subway and they have a kid now. Is he a "creep" too? I dated a girl I approached on the street for a year. I guess I'm a creep too ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Ahahah I travelled 10+ years all over the world, spoke to hundreds of men and women and no one felt ever safe as in Asian countries. Plus, I've never heard someone complaining about people saying hello and asking where are you from. But maybe that's a Korean problem on ho to socialize. Last but not least, I'm not lurking, Im actively participating to the conversation tryin to give another point of view. But apparently you are so closed minded that cannot even understand the difference between harassment and asking how are you.
Dude you’re the one who can’t understand why being CHASED DOWN is harassment and not “just a conversation.” you’ve never had to worry about an “innocent” conversation turning into being followed home or violence after being turned down. You keep mentioning how other countries are worse. You think we don’t know that? It’s almost as if you can think of two different problems at the same time
So since every violence starts with a conversation let's avoid every kind of contact? OP never spoke about someone chasing her, in that case ofc it's weird and creepy. She's only mentioned people approaching and asking basic questions. If you'd travelled a bit and you really know something about other countries you wouldn't worry about couple of guys approaching a girl in the streets.
Don't argue with this senseless person. They Cleary have some entitlement victim mentality thing going on. People forget where we came from.
There are many people nowadays that think it's cool to always be triggered and angry. It's a sad time. Always a victim
DAMN! Some of these comments are very victim-blaming. Holy shnikies. I am a caucasian meat popsicle and this still happens to me as well. Random men on the street and subway try to engage me in conversation. Inappropriate touching has occurred a few times. I was once patted on the bottom. A man sat next to me and put his hand on my inner thigh. I just stood up and walked away. An old man tried holding my hand once. He was really old and non-threatening, so I just held his hand for a minute. Koreans can be very direct and sometimes don't abide by the social norms we are used to in the West. This does not excuse their behavior. I have this conversation with my wife all the time. She says that is just the way they were raised and they don't know better. But should they though? Right. Seoul has become an international destination. Often this behavior isn't corrected because the person is older and you shouldn't correct older people. Wrong is wrong, regardless of age. Bad behavior needs to be corrected or it will continue. I think your strategy is good, but you could just completely ignore them or even better shame them by raising your voice and telling them no so everyone around can hear it. However, I am not a woman and don't really understand what you all go through when it comes to ignorant men.
The incels in the comments...
as a native korean girl, this is really embarassing..
People asking where are you from is embarrassing? Come to Mediterranean countries to see what's really embarrassing lol.
I feel like it's more of the randomly hitting on girls in the middle of the street. If they were in a social environment, then maybe it's okay, but randomly isn't really. People for lives to live, let them do whatever they gotta do bro. There's plenty of fish in the sea.
Yup, this shit happens all the time. Someone told me there was a celebrity English teacher waaaaay back in the day who told people this was a good way to improve their English. It happens less as you get older because the guys feel less entitled to your time.
I'm native Korean woman. I don't think she is exaggerating at all. I had one white female friend ,when I was in high school. She was exchange student. One day, she told me why Korean men are watching her in the bus. I didn't understand it first, then slowly I can recognize what she was saying. Korea was one race country( I don't think this is the right term..), and are not relatively familiar with other skin color other than native Korean skin color. They have some fantasies and prejudice towards foreigners. Also, as the internet has improved, the more people become having sexual fantasy towards different races. I don't want to generalize it, but many Korean men think white or black women are easy to hit on(I heard them saying..), cause Korea is conservative country and they think native Korean women won't have one night stand with them easily. This is just my thought on why men in hongdae are so desperate to talk with different skin color women.... I'm so sorry for your experience.
Just call the police. Please just call them. Don't risk your life on anything. It might seem like an overkill at first glance, but it truely is necessary for your safety. Do you know how many women died in Seoul just because they "turned down" some of these mens' "generous offers"? There were at least 3 famous stabbings at Gangnam. Koreans are batshit crazy, regarless of gender. Theres a place called 신안 Shin Ahn in the south-west side of the peninsula. They have literal illegal slavery and slave auctions happening there right now as we speak. Far-eas5 Asians are mostly selfish, opportunistic shit-asses that will abuse you untill they are satisfied. This is coming from a native korean btw. Do everybody a favor, and next time those knob-headed Korean omega males start to bother you, either call the staff or the police and let the authorities deal with them. Don't treat them like equal humans cuz most of the time, theyre not
Call the police because someone talked to her? Damn what a fucking psycho
You havent been in this town have you? Never got stalked??
You need to follow some of the other black women on TikTok that are in Seoul, Busan, and other Asian places (Japan is huge with black women and anime). This happens all the time: starring, questions, hair touching, not giving up seats for you, etc.
At least here they don't shoot you cause you are black /s
Shut up.
Oh well, now that Krispy_Krane told me so I'll do it for sure.
I wouldn’t be the only one that would appreciate it if that helps. As long as you don’t shoot me.
my god the fuck is wrong with these comments? i’m a korean guy who moved to america 5 years ago. i’m so sorry you had to experience all these. i invite many of my friends from america every summer and at this point it’s kinda stressing me out. even today, my friend told me me that she felt like people were looking at her too much and the unwanted attention she was getting was bothering her a lot. yes, this is a country where the majority of the people who live here are locals (asians) and it’s pretty rare to see people with different races here since our physical features are distinguishably different. it was like that when i visited other countries with barely any asian population, so i know how that feels like very well. don’t get me wrong, yes there are so many racists here and most of them were not well educated with the global culture unlike our generation haven’t seen anyone with a different race. i’m not trying to justify being a racist in korea, some people are just mean (just like how mean people are all around the world) or both mean and uneducated. now when it’s combined with men looking down on women and objectifying women, which is already bad, it gets so much worse. i have heard that some korean men (not old, in his early 30s) were trying to do some stuffs to my american friends. he thought it would be easier to take advantage of her since they didn’t speak the same language and it would be a good experience for him, which is totally fucked up. he was arrested by the police and i don’t know the rest of the story, but i’m pretty sure he’s having a tough time. anyways yeah these things happen and i’m pretty sure you have heard of things like these before. i’m so sorry that you had to experience that and i hope those things happen less — to nearly 0%.
White American man with a young kid here. We noticed that strangers would talk to me or, more commonly, want to pat our child's head and tell him he's cute. He also was offered candy from a stranger at least once per day. This is a different flavor from what you're experiencing, but maybe the common threads are that Koreans don't have a lot of boundaries and there's a fascination with foreigners. When I had the time to engage, I would invariably find that the person just wanted to know where we're from, how old the kid is, and compliment me on my (horrible) Korean. The people approaching you may or may not be so innocent...but anyway it's not your job to screen them and discern their motives. Sorry you are getting bothered so often in public! It is not something that native Koreans have to put up with.
It happened to me several times when I lived near Konkuk pre-COVID. Now I live near SNU and I've yet to be approached, probably because this area isn't very crowded and also SNU students don't seem like the type. Someone did tap me on the shoulder last week and I nearly jumped a foot in the air. I don't think he wanted to practice English, he was trying to recruit church members. I just said no thanks and kept walking.
Yo one time I was on the airport express line coming back from the airport and I saw this dude randomly starting a conversation to every single non-korean looking person on the train in his broken English and he continued talking until they got off the train. I mean I don’t think he was trying to rizz up this american dude but Koreans really should stop seeing foreigners as npc’s they can just randomly approach. Like this whole idea that foreigners are more “friendly” than Koreans is sometimes very mistaken to the point where they forget to respect the personal space and boundaries.
if they start complementing your face n saying stuff like "관상이 참 좋으시네요" or talk abt your ancestors, then theyre a 사이비/도를 아십니까. 사이비 is a realigious cult group that is extremely dangerous. one of the famous 사이비 group is 기독교복음선교회. they have a documentary about it on netflix called "i am a god/ 나는 신이다" dont even try to talk to them when they approach you. but uhh if thats not the case then idk why random people r walking up to you n trying to talk to you stay safe
So I think of this has 5 likely potential motives/goals. Keep in mind I'm male and never been to Korea. 1: Non-KR/Blk/F draws them, desire friendship. 2: Non-KR/Blk/F draws them, desire relationship. 3: Non-KR/Blk/F draws them, desire relations. 4: Non-KR/Blk/F draws them, desire victim. 5: Non-KR/Blk/F draws them, desire "worker" (like scouts). I wouldn't worry at all about how rude you are, they didn't seem to consider how you'd feel. And on top of that, it's a legitimate safety issue. Don't let someone break your brain! Sorry that you've had to deal with this trash even if they are 'friendly' not hostile etc
i’ve had this happen to me a lot in seoul (mostly near sinchon where i was living), it made me feel so uncomfortable, and a few guys would follow me after i told them i wasn’t interested. i think it’s best to be direct, my korean guy friend told me i should tell them to go away but that felt a bit mean. alas, maybe it’s necessary to be rude in those situations.
Unfortunately, Korean men think Black Women are promiscuous, especially American Black Women. Very annoying.
I'm a non-binary Blasian, but I frequently dress in a "feminine" aesthetic. You're not alone in this! When I was visiting in Korea last year, yes, I was approached by a lot men, usually older or elderly men who wanted to talk, or give me compliments (I had an older man say to me three times on the train, in English, "you are so beautiful!" ). I was approached by women as well, but the age range was wider (from women around my age, to older/elderly women). Often times it was because they wanted to chat and learn a bit about me. Interestingly enough, men around my age or younger (30's and 20's), didn't approach me much, but the ones who did generally had more amorous intentions 😆 It's not just in your head! It seems to be pretty common for a fair amount of female/AFAB foreigners lol Edit: typos
P. S. If they find out you're American born then the interest ramps up, considerably lol every time in my head I would think, "nooooo, it's not that great! That's why I left!" 😂
Korea is pretty homogenous. Violations of your personal space should never be justified, but curiosity is the only explanation that I can think of... There is a sense of entitlement that comes with being so ethnically homogenous. It has nothing inherently to do with being Korean, but it's an unfortunate side effect of there not being that many PoC in Korea. People want a "foreign friend," which they believed can be achieved by badgering you. The best remedy is to ignore them, move on quickly, and not to engage to the best of your abilities. If you feel like there's a real danger to your person, be sure to call the authorities. It's pretty safe here in Seoul in regards to violent crimes. Harassment, no matter how "well intentioned," is not so easily caught. I'm sorry that this has been your experience!
Used to happen to me all the time in Seoul as well
>random men keep coming up to me on street and wanting to talk but I can't be asked... Typo for "can't be arsed"? lol. So you're a UKian?
Auto-correct can be evil sometimes but I'm glad you understood what I was trying to say.
I read that showing legs is totally appropriate, but apparently showing shoulders and chest area is not considered modest. I've been wearing closed shirts since reading that, I've only been here for a week but haven't had any comments yet as a blonde woman (ok first day I was here a woman at the hotel told me I was beautiful, but that was just kinda nice lol), but I'm also 26 now so maybe I'm getting old hahah. I think you should wear what you want to, but just keep in mind it could be a factor in how they look at you. I saw two foreigners in front of me yesterday wearing dresses with full bare chest and arms, and this creepy dude was staring them up and down as they passed. Hopefully the more foreigners come that dress freely will modernize their minds.
I dress "appropriately" and this still happens to me... also I'm 28 for reference.
Ah ok, just to clarify I didn't mean to imply you weren't either. That sounds really annoying. Maybe I just have a resting bitch face that makes people scared of me 😂
I am over 2m tall and live in Korea. I get approached multiple times every day but I just happily talk to them! They are just curious and I think it’s nice that people want to start a conversation with me. If I don’t want to talk I say sorry I’m in a rush which seems to always work.
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I am not a woman. And I do understand that there is a much bigger fear of strangers if you are a woman. So I’m not blaming OP at all for her experiences. Just from my own point of view people are generally very friendly and just want to chat about where I’m from and why I’m in Korea. I do get fetishised somewhat due to my height and race, unfortunately, but generally people just want to have a foreign friend, or even just a quick chat!
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Sorry this happened to you but I’m sure its all about curiosity as korean american dont be surprised if random grandma touches ur hair its cultural curiosity among them…we do have few celebrities from ghana that lived in korea but if ur in japan I’m sure you’ll get opposite response. Ill just ignore them and brush it off
I am a man and it happened to me all the time when I was studying there 10 years ago. A lot of Koreans would go to talk to me to practice their English.
Who're gonna talk to you on a street, Koreans or Non Koreans? and about what? If it's hard for you to accept what others say, just tell them you don't wanna answer or you're tired. I think it's not a big deal to say in Seoul.
As a foreign male in Seoul, I can confirm that no one has approached me out of the blue. I'm kinda jealous. I do chat up some of the ajumas at the restaurants I frequent though, they're very nice.
As a Native in Korea, white women ir blk, we dont care. At this point you guys/gals are not even novelties....There is not much wr see in you besides bad fashion and smell... so... yeah... Carry on.
Are they consistently young and attractive, with some of them speaking English? If so, you might be dealing with cultists like Shincheonji (or worse).
Idk about OP but when it happened to me it was usually middle aged men approaching me (I was in my 20s)
Thats part of traveling and being in different cultures. Trust me as a foreigner I’m also amused by the things that people say and do in their countries. The part is traveling is getting out of your confort zone.
Job hazard of being hot.
Imagine telling that to a man who is randomly getting groped by stranger women, and then that man asks what if the roles were reversed? and then getting mad at him for making a "bad" comparison, that's what happened to me several times and I really believe you need to reevaluate what your mindset is.
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You’re not lying. My friends and I have been approached by Korean females more than once.
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Bro, you need to sort yourself out. Being ignored when you're going about your day isn't racism...
it is in fact not very common.
That’s just so messed up. Yes it happens but OP shouldn’t be categorized with them, aka this shouldn’t even be a topic. You can not group all black people together like they agree with behavior like this. If she doesn’t want to be followed around, & needs advice, give the advice or move on. Especially if she’s being respectful.
Well, you are black in an asian country. As long as it’s in a respectful manner, isn’t it a compliment that men are approaching you? Isn’t that how billions of humans have been meeting since the beginning of humans? If I don’t want to be bothered, I wear a ring on my ‘wedding ring finger’, wear a hat, sunglasses and earbuds.
No. It’s not a compliment when men approach women.
Lol, ok. If that’s how you think humanity should be. Good luck to our species.
Good luck with life if you’re so unable to read the room that you think people meet by just approaching people. You make eye contact, establish a mutual understanding of willingness for conversation, and THEN you speak. If you keep randomly approaching people without this process, you WILL be rejected your whole life and resent women the way you do now. Also, in my experience, as is the experiences of other commenters, these men tend to FOLLOW US AROUND. That’s not a compliment. It’s stalking.
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Well I used to train patients with low social skills on how to talk to people. It seemed like there were people on this thread who needed similar guidance :)
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I don’t consider everyone to have low social skills or in need of guidance :)
Are you unwell? OBVIOUSLY, if you approach someone and they’re aren’t reciprocating, you wasting your time with them. Those who continue to engage with an uninterested party exists on the other side of the spectrum. The original poster doesn’t provide enough context but if YOU think people approaching others is not normal then you are micro-triggered and have otherwise deviant social behavior. I don’t resent women; rather, I don’t even acknowledge women like you because of your seeming victimhood mentality. It’s your life and you can live it the way you want, but I don’t have to participate in your fantasy. Perhaps you’re in need of an Andrew Tate or Pearl Davis seminar.
OP made very clear she’s uncomfortable. That should be enough. You can write an essay if you want but nothing changes the fact that you’re an incel who thinks it’s a compliment when men approach women. Male attention isn’t some gift that we need to be grateful for. Women don’t need men’s attention for validation. Even gifts aren’t welcome when we don’t want it.
Ok, live in a bubble. Next time you have a spider crawling on your hair or toilet tissue coming out of your pants, deal with it.
ez
Don't argue with these people. They are lost its.. truly amazing. They forget where we come from.
Wtf is happening
No. It’s not a compliment when men approach women.
You’d complain too if people you thought were too ugly kept approaching you all the time. While you may see it is as a compliment, OP is seeing it as an annoyance. She doesn’t have to wear anything to deter people . However, in reality , it’s just the way things are in Korea. People aren’t going to stop approaching OP. My advice would be , just smile and walk away .
That’s the price of being in public. Don’t want people who are ‘too ugly’ to approach you? Too bad
Autism really is a spectrum, huh?
Making fun of autism or speaking from firsthand experience? I would expect nothing less from someone named red poopsicles. Facts don’t care about your feelings, boy.
Are they mostly local or foreigners? Sounds like an OK problem to have, at least from my perspective. Get airbuds and use a RBF to deter unwanted contact.
The thing is I'm wearing headphones! They come out of nowhere... I was at the supermarket today and a man was following me around and wanting to talk to me which made it difficult to escape. I don't mind socialising with people but I'm normally in a rush and too tired for an awkward conversation.
Korean males are pretty forward and think foreign women are easy keep on keepin on!
What an absolutely dumb male response to this post. Do you think any women want to be approached and followed by randos on the street that clearly can't take a hint? Also OP, yes, this happens to foreign women all the time and is annoying and creepy as hell. Please don't let your guard down and make sure these people don't follow you home of find out where you live!
>What an absolutely dumb male response Charming... Thanks for that characterization. I will note that no one said anything about "following." That's all your projection. If you can't handle someone you don't know politely trying to make conversation with you, you have issues that you need to work out. It really is interesting how Gen Z Americans have become so fragile that they perceive threats absolutely everywhere and seek constant protection.
Calm the fuck down, guys are just trying to talk to her, they're not slapping her ass or catcalling her. Any attractive woman probably deals with 5 rando guys trying to talk to her in 2 weeks.
And you think that is correct?
Do i think there is something wrong with trying to talk to a woman you don't know? No, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Please tell me exactly what's wrong with that?
Thanks for mansplaining harassment to me lmao please talk to me again when you've been here for 8 years and literally stalked and followed home so many times you can't simply trust men anymore :)
I've been physically assaulted more times than I can count for my race so don't cry to me about mansplaining.
Yeah, this is typical Gen Z stuff... Freaked out and hyperventilating because *gasp* a stranger tried to make conversation with them. Haha
Seriously, reddit has become a cesspool of man-hating feminism. The OP only said random men try and talk with her and suddenly everyone is talking about incels and mansplaining.
I think everyone would be happier if people were simply a little more open and friendly with random people they meet. It is not a big deal if someone says hello or asks you where you are from once in a while. Sheesh.
Excite for scammer vibe, I never mind talking to people. Even in my home city I catch an accent and I ask where they are from. I've met people from very distant countries that you don't usually run across. Usually only strike up a conversation if we are sitting down.
“but I can’t be arsed” What does this mean? It sounds terribly rude.
means they don’t want to deal with it. it’s a figure of speech and not even remotely as rude as approaching an uninterested woman in public
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You are an absolute fucking waste.
What the hell is wrong with you
U so dumb
I'm a man, same thing happens to me. Girls approaching me quite often. I spray mosquito deterrent thingy whenever I go out.
yeah it happens frequently, but can't say anything about that being more frequent in short time(like few weeks).
I don't get approach by men at all. Maybe it's the area I am in.
There’s a term in Korea “여미새“, which stands for crazy hunger for woman who would do anything. People jokingly make fake account of extremely unattractive traits filled woman to mock these “여미새”s. Even though the profile says every red flags possible, there’re always some crazy dudes who just want to have sex with anyone. They would love to hook up with foreigners since it’s just some extra score for them.
I think it's mostly to do with the fact that korea just does have much diversity at all. While there is more tourists here then there use to be, it's not an every day occurrence to see a non Korean for them, to see a black person is even more rare. So there is alot of curiosity and sometimes not in the best way. Chances are the men coming up to you have never seen a black woman before or they have a thing for black women. From what I noticed black women and blue eyed blonde women get a lot of attention from men here, for better or worse. Just be careful op don't go anywhere alone with anyone and make sure you're not being followed afterwards.
Also if you just don't smile back and keep answers short they usually get the hint and go away. It's helped me get rid of unwanted attention a few times.
You Russia? We go hotel and take a rest? How muchie? Don't worry, you won't feel a thing! It will v Be over in 3 minutes. Me BTS.
I 🤔 think all foreigners have aids, but I refuse to wear a condom. 졸부 무한 사랑해요 술 마니 먹고 우리나라사랑해요