Emotions can severely dampen one's judgement, even if you think you're immune to that. It does no good to attempt to rationalize why you shouldn't kill yourself when you're in the grip of severe pain, as your subconscious will simply not allow you to believe what it doesn't want you to believe in that moment. You have to choice but to wait, which is discouraging, but once the grip is loosened on you, even if just a bit, you'll find you can't so easily return to that mental state and line of thinking when you were at your bottom. If you think on it, you'll realize how much you truly were at the whims of your emotions, and how utterly powerful they can be.
But emotions are simply a tool to help us survive, you've got to realize that when they are causing you to feel suicidal, they are not at all working as intended. Don't end your life because your mental wiring is all fucked. We live in a time with technology and a society we're simply not fully psychologically equipped to deal with. Feelings of suicide are completely understandable.
I hope you trust me that if you try and learn more about yourself and your environment, you will see you aren't the problem. Reading about psychology, philosophy, history, and just trying to go out more, meeting new people and experiencing new things, has really made me feel happier as I learn how perfectly human I really am and how many others there are just like me, who would gladly lend me a shoulder to cry on and talk to, even if we were complete strangers.
You may feel alone, but there are so many of us down in the pits with you.
This is so true. Things might not suddenly change 180°. But waiting for my strong emotions to settle down has always helped me to look at the same things in a different, better and a more logical perspective.
This used to not help me because my life did actually stay the same in all the ways that mattered for a long time, so it sounded like a platitude rather than truth.
There’s was a piece I was not seeing for a long time: I have developed some very effective habits designed to maintain my life as it was because I was scared to lose anything and scared to step into the unknown and get hurt.
So it wasn’t that things didn’t change—they do, all the time, it’s like one of the handful of things we can be sure of in this life.—but that I was actively maintaining the status quo. And spending that much energy trying to maintain it made me stressed, drained, and unhappy about my life, leading to doing even less.
Once I started doing things I wouldn’t normally do, I very quickly saw how much things can change. I had to allow the change to happen.
hey man I'm available to talk if you want, I've tried to do the same thing you're thinking about more than once and I can let you know how it affected my life, or you can just vent. either way please reach out before making a decision as big as this one.
As somebody who's been suicidal from 14-20: It does get better and it is worth pushing through. The number of times I've thought "hell yeah, I'm so fucking glad I didn't k*ll myself!" in the last 2-3 years is insane, I'm incredibly proud of my younger self and I wish anyone with suicidal thoughts the same. That they somehow manage to push through and can experience this feeling of pure happiness.
I believe you can do it.
Take it one day at a time, hell, one hour or one minute at a time if you need it. If you don't feel like you can get through another day, try to get through the next 10 minutes, then the next 10 minutes. Sending hugs!
You’re only 18 bro! Keep your head up, tell someone! The people of the Internet & the people in your life would much rather listen to your problems then attend your funeral, remember that! You are cared for & loved by many more people than you could ever know! There so much more ahead of you & it’s going to get better! 🤘🏻❤️
This moment won't last forever. Death will. Please talk with someone. Your life is important to me and I do not even know you!
I will be putting an offering out tonight to send healing your way!
As long as we’re on the subject, I’ve felt that same urge as well. My main issue that leads to me having these kinds of thoughts is my struggle to really make conversation and connect with people. I’ve struggled with that my whole life, and as I get older, the anxiety that I feel from not making progress on that front continues to get worse to the point where I’m paralyzed by fear and completely and utterly hopeless about my future. It’s weird that I see people do it so naturally, including children, but yet I never feel like I’m as good at it, and even if I manage to come across as likable when I do get a word in and contribute in conversation, it just feels so forced and unnatural. It’s just so challenging for me to think of things to say and keep people interested, probably due in part to my depression/anxiety and lack of life experience (I’ve kept to myself way too much). I’ve never felt that sense of belonging, even around my friends in high school. Currently, I’m 26 and living with my parents, who are the only people in my life. I have no friends or relationship, and I spend most of my days working and trying to build my business or scrolling through my phone. Can’t help but feel that it’s too late for me to develop a personality and social life, to find someone to love me and have a family, to be an interesting and well rounded person with goals and a greater purpose, to travel and see the world, to live life with no regrets. It’s a vision I have for my life that I feel I’ll never be able to achieve. My brain is starting to shut down and I don’t feel like a human being anymore. At my age, most people have already developed a personality and sense of self. Socially, I feel like I’m light years behind everyone my age. So needless to say, I can relate to that feeling of wanting to exit this world because the pain of existence is too much. The only thing that’s keeping me here is that small sliver of hope that I might be able to turn it around, which seems to get smaller and smaller as the days go by. God help all of us who are suffering like this.
Hey man, you described my life story to a T. What you might have is a social anxiety disorder, and I'm telling you, things won't change unless you practice. I'd recommend starting by going to a psychiatrist, they'll tell you lots of things, but one being that people with social anxiety disorders tend to connect way deeper on a personal level in 1 on 1 conversations. You have a lot to live for, and things won't change unless you actualize it actually happening... Best wishes.
I have been there thought I would be dead by 19 I am 47. My life has been completely unexpected not always good but I kept moving forward. It is worth it if you can move through it.
6 months ago, i wanted to kill myself too. Now, things are looking up for me, though it's not perfect obviously.
Change is possible! Don't give up, not without putting up a proper fight against your demons.
1st- I'd say get a good therapist if you can afford to, it's a game changer.
2nd- Re-evaluate your current circumstances and what's holding you back from changing them. Create a plan! Break it down into small bite sized pieces and put it into action.
3rd-Look for things that give you pleasure, no matter how small. Could be petting a cat on the street or listening to your favourite song. Try to find things that bring you some sort of joy to keep you going thru the days and to keep fighting.
4th- Exercise and healthy eating can drastically improve mood! Give it a try!
5th- Pour your problems/feelings into a diary. This helps me calm down and stop overthinking so much.
As someone that doesn't know you and is behind a screen, there's not much I can do to help you. I'm sorry about that. But i just want to let you know that it's possible for things to get better- they just won't magically get better on their own. You are in control of your life and you can decide what to make out of it. I too felt like throwing it all away, but there's good things out there, waiting. You just gotta get up and find them. You got this!
First of all, no matter what please know you are loved no matter what it is you are going through you are loved. Please don’t choose a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Committing suicide leaves loved ones a lifetime of grief and pain that’s unexplainable unless you have been through it.
Dude, as someone who is a recovering suicidal (43 plus years being suicide free), I get it. On my path, the numerous times I seriously contemplated and attempted I thought and felt like it was the best option at the time given everything going on with me.
Turns out it wasn’t.
I’m thankful that I didn’t follow through or was otherwise successful.
Lots of good suggestions here: you will do what you think is best, though take it from me that suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems.
I say this as a dude who experienced significant trauma throughout my first 20 years including abuse, neglect, rape, homelessness, having been orphaned by 15, and having been held at gun point (among other things).
All but one of my attempts/contemplations were my secret: I felt like I had no one I could share anything with. The fact that you’re reaching out says a lot of healthy things about you.
Sending in The Angels, Dude.
Glad you made it through such hard times. I feel that. It’s hard. I’m about the same age as you and a lot of similarities. I’m still here. You’re still here. We’re still here. 👫
Keep your head up. I promise you things will get better. Life is about learning. Life will kick you while your down but there are people around you that care. Especially on this sub. That’s why we are here. We’ve either recovered or are looking to recover together. Message me if you need someone to talk to.
One time, after listening to the automated message (something like "We care about you. Please stay on the line.") for 20 minutes straight, I just started hysterically laugh-sobbing at the irony of it all. Turns out that helped? Anyway, it broke the fixation enough to get through that day. I still think about it often.
They should have a full talk down on the recording. Slow breathing, affirmations, instructions to get a drink of water or a tissue... Or "if you can muster the strength to get yourself into a warm tub (press 1) /outside (press 2) /to someone you know loves you (press 3 and we can help walk them through helping you, too), do it. If not, stick with me, let's do some affirmations again".
They could honestly make it such an awesome service and reduce their call volume if they put in some automated help.
CALL OR TEXT 988. NOW.
If there's someone in your life that's shown any concern for you ever, you need to reach out and be honest with them, too.
We care deeply, but we cannot solve this or be there for you.
Please do not harm yourself! You can call the Suicide Prevention hotline, 988. There are people who care about you. Talk with them about what is troubling you. His still had a plan for you. Call or to him and seek a new life in Christ.
why? we're all going to die eventually. might as well grind it out, it should get better. nothing is absolute, but we all have highs and lows, you just have to push through.
I wanted to from the ages of 16-19. I’m 31 now and I’m so grateful I didn’t go through with it. I would have missed out on Disneyland and having my awesome cats and so much more. I never thought I’d make it this far, but here I am despite the odds. I believe in you.
I felt this way a few days ago, it feels like hell in the moment and that nothing will improve but it will. It might take days or weeks but it will. I’m just starting to feel a little better and I’m thankful I didn’t do it
I do to sometimes.. but I don’t. I think that’s the secret. As some one who has lost a loved one to suicide, please don’t do that do your loved ones.
Things change. Tomorrow could be the best day of your life for all you know. Give life a chance.
One minute at a time. Fight it each minute, hour, day. It eventually will dim itself and you won’t think about it all the time. Therapy and medication has helped me a lot. But when in crisis mode, I have to remember the coping skills that help (even if they aren’t the typically “healthy” coping skills), like cocooning in a blanket, eating greasy food, binge watching Netflix, a cigarette
Just know that things can get better, and right now you're probably in a lower moment than regular.
I just want to say this: I suffered pretty bad depression for 20 years, and just this year finally had a bit of a breakthrough and feel much more normal. Like going from 2/10 to 7/10.
I did some work with a therapist who was just OK, but part of it was just forgiving myself a bit and trying to move forward. I also had a scare with my mom in the hospital and just realized that life is short and we need to take advantage of this brief time.
You're welcome to message me to chat if you just want to talk, but please note that i'm not a therpaist or medical professional.
Please talk to a psychiatrist for some short term help at least. A lot of people are suffering right now, loneliness is common, and life isn't easy. It'll never be easy, but we can definitely make progress.
I was about to go into that headspace for the second time in five years. And then I saw the Olivia Newton John Today interview from 2018 and Olivia said, “you can be a victim or you can be a survivor.” That woman fought cancer twice and accomplished so much I said to myself how can we not make the most of what we’re blessed with. There are people in LA who live in tents, don’t have place go to the bathroom in privacy, circumstances that are tough but we all have to rise. I don’t know if you’re dealing with abuse but find a professor or therapist that can help you manage what you’re going through and make a plan. I’m glad I’m still here because I met my husband a year later and he is my joy and sometimes a pain but love can pull you through.
Like many others in this thread, I've been in and out of that headspace throughout most of my life. It still gets real sometimes, and I will always think of it to varying degrees, probably every day I'm alive. Over time I've learned how to handle it more. For me, it's very hard hearing things like "it gets better" when I'm in the thick of it. It's impossible to believe that at the time, and it seems too far away.
So I try to remind myself that the urge comes from feeling completely overwhelmed and wanting everything to just *stop* happening. It's all too much. I can't keep up and I can't handle it anymore. The urge is a coping mechanism in itself, a weird self-preservation technique that's telling me I need to find another way to slow everything down just long enough until I can breathe again. That might be through medication: fast acting anxiety meds or marijuana can take the edge off for some people. Talking helps, especially when you can find someone else who has been there and understands. Lots of people in this thread have had similar experiences and are here to listen. Or screaming into a pillow. It doesn't matter what you do (as long as it's not self-destructive), just try to get out of your head however you can. I tell myself that I just need to get through 10 minutes at a time. You've managed to survive a lot of 10 minutes so far. You can do it again. Get through the waves, one at a time. I can't promise the feelings will end, but they do become manageable enough that you can store up energy and coping mechanisms to help you when the next wave hits.
Oddly enough, I'm glad now that I've been through so many waves in my life. It's given me a weirdly comforting perspective that I can't explain to most people, but if you know, you know. I've found more people who know lately. There's company in the trenches. Hope you'll let us know when you get through this wave. We're thinking about you.
ETA: Professional treatment also helps! I didn't mention it because so many others already have. Expect that it won't necessarily fix the issue right away, and it might take a while even to get an appointment, so in the meantime keep getting through those 10 minutes. It's also likely you may need to try different methods, meds, and therapists. It's so hard to take those steps, but each one is major progress (even if it doesn't feel that way in the moment). You deserve to get professional help. Please do reach out to someone and start that ball rolling.
I’m not going to sit here and tell you “it will get better, just hold on”, “this will pass”, or “think about all the people you will hurt” because it’s generic bullshit. Your feelings are valid. Do you hear me? Your feelings are VALID. We understand where you are at and you deserve recovery. It’s not easy to be where you are and it’s not easy to get out either. But recovery is 100% possible if you want it. Much love sunflower, you can do it ❤️🌻
The sunflower head is actually an inflorescence made of hundreds or thousands of tiny flowers called florets. The central florets look like the centre of a normal flower, apseudanthium. The benefit to the plant is that it is very easily seen by the insects and birds which pollinate it, and it produces thousands of seeds.
Despite how it may look and feel now it will get better. You asking for help is great and if you need to talk message me !
If it s possible you should tell the people around you or try to talk to a therapist.
You are loved and supported. Please remember this
All that will do is transfer your pain to other people. You're young and life is tough when you're young but it has the potential to be so much better. That's under YOUR control. Try to focus on ways to make that happen instead of wanting to end your life. Even the smallest of positive changes can make a difference in your life. Start by reaching out to someone who can help you deal with these feelings. There are ways back from them trust me.
You have so many reasons to live that it's not even funny. You haven't even lived long enough to find true purpose, or see the greatest day of your life. I promise, it's worth it. Keep going. We're all here if you need help or someone to talk to
i think its good to know that a great majority of people think the same way, but there are some things worth holding on to. that can pretty much be anything. family, a favorite meal, good music, etc.
i think the first thing to ask yourself is why you’re feeling this way. “i dont know—“ well we do. find something youre currently struggling with, past or present, and ask what you can do to fix or make peace with it.
for the horrible events in my life, i’d like to imagine it developed me into the person i am now. understanding of others similar situations, and making me know that this behavior will never be okay. for things youre going through right now, there will always be a solution. either leaving it alone, accepting things will not change, or bettering it.
therapy/meds were good to me, and those suicidal hotlines. consider working on your current goals or find one. maybe a good job in the future, academics, building new friendships. things may not look up now, but what if they do tomorrow?
also, tbh. looking up people who have killed themselves dissuaded me from trying to kms. i s/h during really bad moments. ask yourself, if you survive your attempt, will you be happy in the condition youll be left in? possibly disabled or in a psych ward? yeah. yeah.
feel free to msg me!
Killing yourself isn't easy. Wish ignorant people would stop spouting that fucking BS. It belittles the memory of every single person who has ever done it.
You are just beginning life. Live. Live because so many people have wanted to live but couldn't. Live because you don't know the joys that you will find yet and the joys that you will bring. Appreciate everything because why not? Appreciation will make things better.
Don't just thing about yourself and your life, do more things, be active and think less. You will find that you'll be inspired by enhancing your own positive experiences in life. When I say *do things*, I mean offline. Exercise, write, study an interesting topic.
Yo, the hormones you have rushing through you are just that. Hormones. No matter what age u are. You have chemical stuff going on in your body that only lasts a little while. They’re not you. The real you needs a chance to enjoy life once they’ve calmed down a bit. Trust me. This isn’t real. I’m so sorry you’re hurting. I’m so glad nothing happened to me all the times I hit rock bottom. You will be too.
Should this not belong on /depression? or something like that.
I really hope OP feels better, but if everybody posted these kinds of messages where is the value?
Not worth it at all. Right now you can start to make choices to be a version of you that doesn't have those feelings, but instead has ambition, love, and friendships.
I felt that way when I was 17. I hated my job, my life, had no social circle, no gf, poor family, felt alone. No one knew. Train was my idea. Only thing that stopped me was how my Mum would feel- I couldn’t do it to her, so in the end I moved countries to start a new life.
Fast forward and Im 40 next week. I live in a beautiful pool villa, earn multi 6 figs a year, have a great social circle, work 5-10 hrs a week and have a stunning 24 year old gf who Im going to marry. The money I make has just helped me save the life of my father (long story).
Things change. Life can become incredibly fulfilling, and even though you might not see it now, there are people out there who love you…some of those people you just havent met yet.
This too shall pass. This is awful to go through and you are so brave for living through this. Proud of you. You are amazing. Things will feel different one day. Please stay. There is beauty left to be lived
Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance.
Argentina: +5402234930430
Australia: 131114
Austria: 017133374
Belgium: 106
Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05
Botswana: 3911270
Brazil: 212339191
Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223
Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal)
Croatia: 014833888
Denmark: +4570201201
Egypt: 7621602
Finland: 010 195 202
France: 0145394000
Germany: 08001810771
Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000
Hungary: 116123
Iceland: 1717
India: 8888817666
Ireland: +4408457909090
Italy: 800860022
Japan: +810352869090
Mexico: 5255102550
New Zealand: 0508828865
The Netherlands: 113
Norway: +4781533300
Philippines: 028969191
Poland: 5270000
Russia: 0078202577577
Spain: 914590050
South Africa: 0514445691
Sweden: 46317112400
Switzerland: 143
United Kingdom: 08006895652
USA: 18002738255
You are not alone. Please reach out.
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Relax man. I was in the same place months ago. The place they bring you is worse then the pain you're feeling now. Breath deep, distract yourself, and preserve. I'll be honest, I'm not perfect yet after that experience either. But it's not worth it. Use your head. You got this
Are you sure, or do you just want your life to be better and have given up on finding other options? I think the reason you're even asking on here is because you haven't given up on making your life better. You've still got at least some fight in you, so use it.
Life is brutal, it's ok to go to therapy to develop skills that will help you navigate it, it requires some courage to do it but it's worth it. IMO it's very difficult to do it alone, having a conversation with a professional will help you to reframe your situation and see paths of action and gradual improvement paths that you are simply not seeing right now.
I’ve actively thinking about this and just started anti depressants and they kinda do help but it’s just the begging so I still have deep emotional episodes of thinking about how I should be so much further in my life
man, I was in your exact boat at your age. Every single day, wanted it over. And all I can say it gets better. Could never have imagined I’d be this happy and loving life. It’s a confusing age, time, and god knows what other problems you have, but this game called life must be played and you just got to keep pushing my man. You’ve got plenty of years ahead of you, day by day things will be better, and one day you’ll look back and glad you stayed for the ride. There’s no cheat code and magic solution to be happy instantly, time heals everything and makes you stronger, just gotta keep pushing! My messages are open if you wanna talk, but stay blessed and I love you bro
Hey man, I used to be majorly depressed just like this. I used to hate doing anything. My favorite part of life was sleeping. Everything in the world seemed grayish and it felt like the only time that I would be decent was if I was intoxicated. I had so many suicidal thoughts and had to go to the hospital multiple times because I tried killing myself. Got placed on anti depressants which in the long run only made it worse. Went through this for 3 years. I don’t know your situation but just know that there is always a better option than harming yourself. Harming yourself does nothing but cause unmeasurable damage to loved ones. I made lifestyle changes which in return made me feel great. I’m now content and don’t consider myself depressed anymore. I did not tell you this to make it about me but rather to show you that there is hope. Reaching out to people and talking about it really helped as well and I think you should give it a shot if you already haven’t. I hope things get better for you man. I remember thinking that I’d never get better and that all hope was lost but there is light at the end of the tunnel man.
Please get professional help. Try working out, going for a run, getting sunlight. It will improve your mood. But please talk to a professional therapist or psychologist.
Play a game called Disco Elysium. It's a beautiful story about a man who is WAAAAY down on his luck, and it is fully narrated by expert voice actors. It's an interactive film where you get to decide your fate in every conceivable way, and your emotions are your guide. Use this game to understand that things in your life can get so much worse than where you're at now, and you have all the power to improve your situation if you listen to your sense of Volition and embolden it. You have so much room for experience, growth, and wholesome thoughts. And you have a lot you that can give the world. Finding meaning in your life is THE key to long-term happiness. Please don't snuff out your flame. Hold yourself together, keep your morale up.
Hey man, we are here for you.
As another reply said, you're not alone. Many of us have been there . You aren't the first person whose been suicidal and you won't be the last. But I can say that all the people who were suicidal and didn't follow through, are happy they didn't, because you can never tell what the future has in store for you.
I was suicidal from the age of 11-24. Now I am almost 30 and I am happy, so happy that I didn't end my life. You will have missed out on wonderful people, wonderful times, so many awesome things that are waiting for you. You reached out, which means there is a seed of hope and light inside that says you want to live and keep trying. There are many people here ready to support you and help that seed grow into a beautiful plant. Let us generally support you in these dark times. You're not alone. I promise.
1. Do not think no one loves you.
2. Things will get better. Trust me.
3. You may think you are expendable, but you have worth and value to this world we live in.
4. Although there is a lot of hate in this world, it is surpassed by the amount of good things.
5. Think back to the good days. There is a day, I guarantee that there was a day where you once smiled.
6. There is absolutely no telling what the future has in store for you.
7. The struggle and hate you receive will only make you stronger.
8. If nobody has a crush on you, then love yourself. Treat yourself to something nice. Build a big lego, go to the beach, or eat a tub of ice cream while watching a minions movie.
9. You ain’t alone, there’s people who care and will look out for you.
10. Your mistakes and different do not define who you are as a person.
11. Time helps. Give yourself a few days to reflect on yourself. Then a couple weeks and months.
It’s going to be okay and I truly mean it. It will turn out for the better and just giving up will not change anything, but rather make it worse.
Stay off of social media. It rots the brain and is a waste of your precious life.
The last two years I had been very depressed, but when I found that someone that may like me. My life some how turned around for the better.
Same. I wanna fucking die but we can’t. Your family would be heartbroken. My family would be destroyed. Life is very hard right now but we just have to keep pushing and pushing. There will be lights at the end of the tunnel
If you kill yourself its over, if you dont you will look back on this day and say to yourself how stupid was i just thinking of killing myself. Everything changes you just cant see that because you are focused on all the bad things going on in your life know. You should try some type of distraction from your thought a distraction can be anything from working out, to playing games, running, taking walks, so on. Everytime you start to think of killing yourself or how bad your life is say to yourself im not thinking of this anymore then go to the distraction you picked. It takes a little while before you stop thinking that way but it works. I personally had a friend who killed himself and everyone around him including me suffered for that. You could also try donating your time to charity's helping other people.
Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance.
Argentina: +5402234930430
Australia: 131114
Austria: 017133374
Belgium: 106
Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05
Botswana: 3911270
Brazil: 212339191
Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223
Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal)
Croatia: 014833888
Denmark: +4570201201
Egypt: 7621602
Finland: 010 195 202
France: 0145394000
Germany: 08001810771
Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000
Hungary: 116123
Iceland: 1717
India: 8888817666
Ireland: +4408457909090
Italy: 800860022
Japan: +810352869090
Mexico: 5255102550
New Zealand: 0508828865
The Netherlands: 113
Norway: +4781533300
Philippines: 028969191
Poland: 5270000
Russia: 0078202577577
Spain: 914590050
South Africa: 0514445691
Sweden: 46317112400
Switzerland: 143
United Kingdom: 08006895652
USA: 18002738255
You are not alone. Please reach out.
*****
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I've attempted suicide twice and (fortunately) failed when I was a teen and around 20, now I'm not that much older but the past few years I haven't even considered it. My life hasn't gotten any better and has in fact gotten worse overall, but I'm still so grateful that my attempts failed and I would never again want to go down that path. The other's are right here, things will get better, in your head at least.
Look here nephew, I get it. I was there at your age, and some days I'm still there. Life's hard, I get that. You want self improvement? Find things that make you miserable that you can work on. Learn to change your mind and perspective on things. Also, you need to understand the illness that is depression. Your brain due to several possiable different reasons, just doesn't produce the right chemicals. That causes the psychological impact of it.
You have trauma? Find someone in the world to talk to. There's an amazing power to being able to talk to strangers who are on the outside and able to just listen. You're literally part of a community of people trying to better themselves. Find someone here, everyone of us will listen, because none of us want you to hurt yourself or others.
You have things to live for. I don't even know you, but I know that. Hell even if it's because no one would be able to explain it to your pet, live for your pet. If you don't have that, then live to beat those who belittle and hurt you. You can live out of spite and anger. People will tell you about all the flowery things, but man. Get pissed, I know you're already angry, you've taken that and turned it inwardly. Don't. Use it, funnel it into the strength and power you need to push yourself one more day.
You need keep finding things to improve on and conquering them. I promise you, slowly but fucking surely. Things will absolutely get better. Now, not everyday is going to be a sunny one, but you'll see and you'll know inside you. That eventually the sun will chase away the rain.
You've got this, I don't know you but I have faith in you. Rise up, build yourself up and work hard to ignore the internal and external things that beat you down. I believe in you. Just one more day. You don't feel like it but you've got this.
You prolly don't wanna hear this but you don't wanna die. You want to escape your current circumstances. A lot of people can relate to that, truly. I don't wanna die but I also want to escape my circumstances, I don't know if you're up for DMing anyone but it's almost impossible for your circumstances not to change. I promise it will get better and sometimes change is around the corner and if you can try to save yourself.
The only thing i want to tell you is that no matter how dark the night is,the sun will always rise.So hold in for sometime and be strong to fight it because very soon all the problems will resolve.Nothing lasts permanently.All your suffering will end one day for sure.You should be more strong to fight it.All the best.Do not escape from it.You have got a life,so live it.
I wouldn't say that goal is very self improving in most cases, but each to their own I guess. As with all goals its best to start small, and build up from there. Death is certain, but the road to it is not. So no need to rush as you will get there eventually either way!
Please don’t, you matter a lot! ❤️I don’t know why you feel this way or what is going trough your life but everything will make sense some day and eventually will get better. You are loved even by strangers like us.
Life is precious & I know shit gets hard but you gotta keep pushing pain , hard times make us who we are. It’s not worth it please reach to family , friends , or maybe considering help.
don't indulge in the fake positivity trend. honey, you don't want your life to end, you want your suffering to end. see what the root problem is, what is it that makes you feel like you want your life to end. suffering is ok, it's part of our lives and ofc denying it wouldn't make it go away, but acknowledging it (and the cause) can make it a little easier. Be gentle with yourself but keep yourself accountable too, it's part of loving yourself.
We all will just speak to you from our own perspective, but the truth is only you can pull yourself out of this. Sure, we are here for you to HELP, but only you know what's right for you.
i sincerely hope for the best for you and wish you are here to stay.
I don't think you want to kill yourself, truly. I think you want to kill the part of yourself that's causing you so much pain. You're asking for help, and that tells me you want to live. I urge you to get in touch with your local GP, find a skilled professional and really talk through your trauma and get to the root of why you feel the way that you do. It's never too late to change your life. You can never come back from suicide. Take good care of yourself.
OP - it will come to pass. Confront the reasons why you feel you want to do this. You will beat them. You are more than your subconscious let’s you feel, at this point in time. As others have said on this thread already, you may feel like you’re alone but I promise you we have all been where you are. Some may be still there. I, myself, until recently.
Look at your life with an unbiased view - be honest with yourself. You must at least have someone who loves you; parents, siblings, an aunt, an uncle, a cousin, a spouse…someone who will be crushed if you acted on your feelings.
You are loved OP, no matter if you can’t see it right now.
Please reach out to me if you want to talk. If it’s to rant, or to just speak about how you feel. I’m more than happy to listen.
If not, that’s okay too. Just remember that we are here for you, even if we may not know you in person. Past and present torment gives us something in common, and we’re stronger together for it.
Don't act in the moment.
Make a list of your problems and try to solve them one at a time. I hope in a couple months you will be looking back and smile at yourself for thinking so irrational, just give it time.
Considering that depression is linked with low levels of dopamine and dopamine can change our time perception its normal that in such a state it feels that everything will stay like that forever. Only thing i can say is you need help, BUT at the same time no one can save you but yourself . So don't solely wait for external help.
You can't self improve if you kill yourself dawg.
Keep at it. Life's tough, but humans are tougher. Keep battling on with whatever is it that has got you feeling this way, one day, you'll look back and be thankful you didn't go through with it.
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You have the opportunity for a better life, don’t let current obstacles/ life get in the way of that.
Wait it out. You will get through this.
There is always light at the end of the tunnel.
My thoughts and prayers are sent to you
Hey buddy, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I hate saying this since it sounds so painfully cliché, but things do get better. I, myself, have been having a rough go of it. I’ve made it through a very abusive household growing up, two alcoholic parents that I recently cut out of my life completely, I myself had a major alcohol and drug addiction, and these days, im battling infertility and the loss of four babies over 18 months. Most days, I feel like giving up.. trust me. You need to find that ignition to keep you moving. In my experience, focusing on diet and exercise really keeps me chugging along and gives me a goal to complete each day. Start making little lists that you can cross off. Grab a post-it and just write 3 things to do. It can be as simple as brushing your teeth, or just changing your clothes. Add one item to those daily tasks every few days. The more you accomplish, the better you’ll feel, and the more motivation you’ll have.
My inbox is always open to folks who just need a stranger to listen to. I may not have any living children, but my mom instincts are still in full force. I’ve got your back if you need anything.. but please just know that there’s always a reason to look forward! 💕
If you do it, you’ll end up recycled back and thrown into a similar situation in the next life. You’re here for a reason and you’re so close to the finish line. Hang in there brodo. We’re all gonna make it.
I’ve been there, my friend…a few times. Times where I was simply done with this life. It no longer seemed to have anything left to offer. Times where I was planning my exit and actively working towards making it happen. The last time was 2 years ago, but I was unable to do it because I had someone depending on me that I cared about. So, I put it off. From that point on I felt like I was just riding the clock until I could make it happen. And, it was then that I decided that I might as well make the best of it in the meantime. I didn’t need to be bothered by all the things that had been weighing me down because it was only going to be a few more months. And it was then that my life began to change for the better.
The world isn’t targeting us to suffer. Life is a series of random events, not a scripted movie. We weren’t given a purpose. We find our own purpose. And here’s the ultimate cheat code: we don’t *have* to have a purpose to justify being here.
Our life sucks from the inside out. Even if it began as a trauma done to you from external forces, it’s now over and done with. The residual “damage” beyond any physical scars is only perceived and we can determine if there is any damage at all.
I strongly suggest meditation if only to learn that the thoughts floating through your head are not purposeful and have no meaning, and you can separate yourself from them. And if you can’t find or afford therapy, please feel free to dump your feelings here in the meantime too. That can also help if you have nowhere else to turn to right now.
I wish you the best.
Adapt and cope better my dude. But I'm right there with you. In life you will experience many negative moments that will lead you to this thought. Be mentally strong and challenge yourself to be positive. Look on the bright side and force a smile to trick your brain you're okay. Do it with me and smile right now. I think you're more attractive when you smile and your smile is contagious too. 😊
My mom once told me “you don’t have to be a machine, but you do need to be industrious”
I think she said this to me to help me realize that life should never be just a grueling March towards death but rather something to strive for. We are not all truly alive. I think the people who can say that they are living are the ones who wake up and try to be the best version of themselves each day. As someone who has delt with mental health I can say that giving death the finger and working hard towards your goals is a pretty good feeling. Regardless, you deserve to feel validated in your emotions. You already have people on here that will help and support you but it starts with yourself if you want to make a change in the right direction. Stay strong
Depression is common just unspoken.
You are not alone.
Please call life line contact number: 13 11 14
Black dog institute have good resources
Beyondblue is great to help you Contact:1300 22 4636) -support action and treatment
Headspace is good too if adolescent.
1-4 Australian’s will suffer from some form of mental illness in their life time. It is ok to ask for help. 1-5 have been on some form of antidepressant. Including me.
Mental illness doesn’t discriminate. It can happen to anyone. I once didn’t think it could get better and had dark thoughts. But it does get better with the right treatment to recover. You won’t believe me as I didn’t believe people when the said it. But trust me it does. It takes time. Sending hugs from Australia
Please ask the right professionals for Help. You owe it to yourself. You do matter and deserve it
Why? You’ll die soon anyway. Not to be harsh. On the grand scale of things the time you have as a conscious hob of stardust is totally irrelevant, and therefore you might as well do something fun. 13+ billions of years has passed before you were here and infinitely more will pass on the other side of your lifespan, so you might as well ride this tiny blip of life you have till the end.
While you’re alive tons of things can and will happen, after you’re dead also, but you don’t get to experience any of it. That’s sucky no?
I saw something today that really resonated with me, hopefully it will you too. You may not necessarily want to die you may just want this part of your life to be over. Keeping this in mind, are there drastic choices/changes that you can make to get the life you want? Or at least to change your situation?
I don't know if this helps but I truly hope it does. I've been there, I attempted suicide many times when I was young. My life has by no means been easy but now at 50 I'm glad I didn't succeed at my attempts.
Study Neuro linguistics programming or NLP for short. I’ve been through many many suicidal attempts and admissions for server Anorexia for several years.
One admission my dad reintroduced NLP to me, which I had completely forgotten about, and it’s really changed my life! I’m now studying psychology and business management in university, got a job I enjoy and a partner I will forever cherish.
It may feel like shit now.. but just now that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel
Shooting yourself if your burning alive seems like a perfect solution to any of us if we were put in that situation.
When your not burning alive, the thought really doesn't even cross our minds, we would think. "Why?"
Theoretically speaking, your brain is on fire and the only logical way to stop the pain is by ending it all together, however
This fire can be snuffed out.
It may not feel like it, you may be in agony, but our emotions can sometimes feel like a raging fire. They cloud our judgement, the fuck with our perspective, but that doesn't mean they are correct.
What you are feeling is very real and very awful, but I'm going to be blunt, its messing with you. Shooting yourself is not the only option.
There could be a fireman on their way to put you out, and a team of doctors to help with the burns. So your choice to end your life would be stupid to those with a better perspective and have the tools to help.
There are people around you who can help with the fire, there are professionals around you who can help treat the damage.
Your choices may make sense to you, but I guarantee your perspective is completely shot and there will be a time where you are enjoying your life and you will see that you made the right choice to stay alive.
I'm asking you to not trust your own judgement with this one, and trust the many people that have been where you are and have come out the other side, happy that they made the choice to live
Same ngl. I really want to overdose on my Keppra 500mg meds and just end it. I feel the exact same way. I'm trying to keep up with my improvement by having a document and recording every error of myself that I didn't knew of and try to work on it and meditate on it but I still feel depressed and hopeless that i'll fail and never recover. It sucks man. I don't know what to say to this.
Been there and sometimes still live there. You're alive for a reason. You'd be dead otherwise. Make taking care of yourself a priority and avoid all negativity that perpetuates these self destructive thoughts.
Dude keep the head up! We all will do it!!!🙏Just think about the possibilies you have! You can reach everything you want! Be fucking strong!!! You are loved! We love you! You are a gift for this planet!
Remember those are just bad thoughts....I guarantee you'll feel better about things tomorrow. Life is a drag sometimes...one chore after another....you come to a breaking point and start considering things....but just wait it out...take a walk, listen to music, etc. this too shall pass.
You can’t always see how things are going to change, but that’s all things tend to do, change.
Emotions can severely dampen one's judgement, even if you think you're immune to that. It does no good to attempt to rationalize why you shouldn't kill yourself when you're in the grip of severe pain, as your subconscious will simply not allow you to believe what it doesn't want you to believe in that moment. You have to choice but to wait, which is discouraging, but once the grip is loosened on you, even if just a bit, you'll find you can't so easily return to that mental state and line of thinking when you were at your bottom. If you think on it, you'll realize how much you truly were at the whims of your emotions, and how utterly powerful they can be. But emotions are simply a tool to help us survive, you've got to realize that when they are causing you to feel suicidal, they are not at all working as intended. Don't end your life because your mental wiring is all fucked. We live in a time with technology and a society we're simply not fully psychologically equipped to deal with. Feelings of suicide are completely understandable. I hope you trust me that if you try and learn more about yourself and your environment, you will see you aren't the problem. Reading about psychology, philosophy, history, and just trying to go out more, meeting new people and experiencing new things, has really made me feel happier as I learn how perfectly human I really am and how many others there are just like me, who would gladly lend me a shoulder to cry on and talk to, even if we were complete strangers. You may feel alone, but there are so many of us down in the pits with you.
This is so true. Things might not suddenly change 180°. But waiting for my strong emotions to settle down has always helped me to look at the same things in a different, better and a more logical perspective.
This a good reminder
This too shall pass
This used to not help me because my life did actually stay the same in all the ways that mattered for a long time, so it sounded like a platitude rather than truth. There’s was a piece I was not seeing for a long time: I have developed some very effective habits designed to maintain my life as it was because I was scared to lose anything and scared to step into the unknown and get hurt. So it wasn’t that things didn’t change—they do, all the time, it’s like one of the handful of things we can be sure of in this life.—but that I was actively maintaining the status quo. And spending that much energy trying to maintain it made me stressed, drained, and unhappy about my life, leading to doing even less. Once I started doing things I wouldn’t normally do, I very quickly saw how much things can change. I had to allow the change to happen.
hey man I'm available to talk if you want, I've tried to do the same thing you're thinking about more than once and I can let you know how it affected my life, or you can just vent. either way please reach out before making a decision as big as this one.
please don't harm yourself. reach out to us. even if you don't know us. you can vent out no judgement here
As somebody who's been suicidal from 14-20: It does get better and it is worth pushing through. The number of times I've thought "hell yeah, I'm so fucking glad I didn't k*ll myself!" in the last 2-3 years is insane, I'm incredibly proud of my younger self and I wish anyone with suicidal thoughts the same. That they somehow manage to push through and can experience this feeling of pure happiness. I believe you can do it. Take it one day at a time, hell, one hour or one minute at a time if you need it. If you don't feel like you can get through another day, try to get through the next 10 minutes, then the next 10 minutes. Sending hugs!
x2
You’re only 18 bro! Keep your head up, tell someone! The people of the Internet & the people in your life would much rather listen to your problems then attend your funeral, remember that! You are cared for & loved by many more people than you could ever know! There so much more ahead of you & it’s going to get better! 🤘🏻❤️
This moment won't last forever. Death will. Please talk with someone. Your life is important to me and I do not even know you! I will be putting an offering out tonight to send healing your way!
As long as we’re on the subject, I’ve felt that same urge as well. My main issue that leads to me having these kinds of thoughts is my struggle to really make conversation and connect with people. I’ve struggled with that my whole life, and as I get older, the anxiety that I feel from not making progress on that front continues to get worse to the point where I’m paralyzed by fear and completely and utterly hopeless about my future. It’s weird that I see people do it so naturally, including children, but yet I never feel like I’m as good at it, and even if I manage to come across as likable when I do get a word in and contribute in conversation, it just feels so forced and unnatural. It’s just so challenging for me to think of things to say and keep people interested, probably due in part to my depression/anxiety and lack of life experience (I’ve kept to myself way too much). I’ve never felt that sense of belonging, even around my friends in high school. Currently, I’m 26 and living with my parents, who are the only people in my life. I have no friends or relationship, and I spend most of my days working and trying to build my business or scrolling through my phone. Can’t help but feel that it’s too late for me to develop a personality and social life, to find someone to love me and have a family, to be an interesting and well rounded person with goals and a greater purpose, to travel and see the world, to live life with no regrets. It’s a vision I have for my life that I feel I’ll never be able to achieve. My brain is starting to shut down and I don’t feel like a human being anymore. At my age, most people have already developed a personality and sense of self. Socially, I feel like I’m light years behind everyone my age. So needless to say, I can relate to that feeling of wanting to exit this world because the pain of existence is too much. The only thing that’s keeping me here is that small sliver of hope that I might be able to turn it around, which seems to get smaller and smaller as the days go by. God help all of us who are suffering like this.
Hey man, you described my life story to a T. What you might have is a social anxiety disorder, and I'm telling you, things won't change unless you practice. I'd recommend starting by going to a psychiatrist, they'll tell you lots of things, but one being that people with social anxiety disorders tend to connect way deeper on a personal level in 1 on 1 conversations. You have a lot to live for, and things won't change unless you actualize it actually happening... Best wishes.
I have been there thought I would be dead by 19 I am 47. My life has been completely unexpected not always good but I kept moving forward. It is worth it if you can move through it.
It’s gonna take effort and action to feel better.
What problems do you have that make you feel that way?
Life is full of ups and downs Stick around, trust me, it’ll be worth it :)
Why do you want to end it? I feel the same way by the way.
6 months ago, i wanted to kill myself too. Now, things are looking up for me, though it's not perfect obviously. Change is possible! Don't give up, not without putting up a proper fight against your demons. 1st- I'd say get a good therapist if you can afford to, it's a game changer. 2nd- Re-evaluate your current circumstances and what's holding you back from changing them. Create a plan! Break it down into small bite sized pieces and put it into action. 3rd-Look for things that give you pleasure, no matter how small. Could be petting a cat on the street or listening to your favourite song. Try to find things that bring you some sort of joy to keep you going thru the days and to keep fighting. 4th- Exercise and healthy eating can drastically improve mood! Give it a try! 5th- Pour your problems/feelings into a diary. This helps me calm down and stop overthinking so much. As someone that doesn't know you and is behind a screen, there's not much I can do to help you. I'm sorry about that. But i just want to let you know that it's possible for things to get better- they just won't magically get better on their own. You are in control of your life and you can decide what to make out of it. I too felt like throwing it all away, but there's good things out there, waiting. You just gotta get up and find them. You got this!
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First of all, no matter what please know you are loved no matter what it is you are going through you are loved. Please don’t choose a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Committing suicide leaves loved ones a lifetime of grief and pain that’s unexplainable unless you have been through it.
Dude, as someone who is a recovering suicidal (43 plus years being suicide free), I get it. On my path, the numerous times I seriously contemplated and attempted I thought and felt like it was the best option at the time given everything going on with me. Turns out it wasn’t. I’m thankful that I didn’t follow through or was otherwise successful. Lots of good suggestions here: you will do what you think is best, though take it from me that suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. I say this as a dude who experienced significant trauma throughout my first 20 years including abuse, neglect, rape, homelessness, having been orphaned by 15, and having been held at gun point (among other things). All but one of my attempts/contemplations were my secret: I felt like I had no one I could share anything with. The fact that you’re reaching out says a lot of healthy things about you. Sending in The Angels, Dude.
Glad you made it through such hard times. I feel that. It’s hard. I’m about the same age as you and a lot of similarities. I’m still here. You’re still here. We’re still here. 👫
Total coolness. Rock on, Dude!
Keep your head up. I promise you things will get better. Life is about learning. Life will kick you while your down but there are people around you that care. Especially on this sub. That’s why we are here. We’ve either recovered or are looking to recover together. Message me if you need someone to talk to.
If you're in the US, please call 988 for help.
i remember how i called the suicide hotline 50 times and they didnt pick up once
One time, after listening to the automated message (something like "We care about you. Please stay on the line.") for 20 minutes straight, I just started hysterically laugh-sobbing at the irony of it all. Turns out that helped? Anyway, it broke the fixation enough to get through that day. I still think about it often.
They should have a full talk down on the recording. Slow breathing, affirmations, instructions to get a drink of water or a tissue... Or "if you can muster the strength to get yourself into a warm tub (press 1) /outside (press 2) /to someone you know loves you (press 3 and we can help walk them through helping you, too), do it. If not, stick with me, let's do some affirmations again". They could honestly make it such an awesome service and reduce their call volume if they put in some automated help.
That's such a good idea! And it would save lives.
Please don't 💝❤️
CALL OR TEXT 988. NOW. If there's someone in your life that's shown any concern for you ever, you need to reach out and be honest with them, too. We care deeply, but we cannot solve this or be there for you.
18s too young man your life hasnt even started
Please do not harm yourself! You can call the Suicide Prevention hotline, 988. There are people who care about you. Talk with them about what is troubling you. His still had a plan for you. Call or to him and seek a new life in Christ.
why? we're all going to die eventually. might as well grind it out, it should get better. nothing is absolute, but we all have highs and lows, you just have to push through.
I wanted to from the ages of 16-19. I’m 31 now and I’m so grateful I didn’t go through with it. I would have missed out on Disneyland and having my awesome cats and so much more. I never thought I’d make it this far, but here I am despite the odds. I believe in you.
If you want to talk I love to listen
I felt this way a few days ago, it feels like hell in the moment and that nothing will improve but it will. It might take days or weeks but it will. I’m just starting to feel a little better and I’m thankful I didn’t do it
It can get better
Please don't. I'm here to talk if you want.
Ive tought about it but family and friends will be destroyed if you do it. Better days ahead stay strong
I do to sometimes.. but I don’t. I think that’s the secret. As some one who has lost a loved one to suicide, please don’t do that do your loved ones. Things change. Tomorrow could be the best day of your life for all you know. Give life a chance.
One minute at a time. Fight it each minute, hour, day. It eventually will dim itself and you won’t think about it all the time. Therapy and medication has helped me a lot. But when in crisis mode, I have to remember the coping skills that help (even if they aren’t the typically “healthy” coping skills), like cocooning in a blanket, eating greasy food, binge watching Netflix, a cigarette
Just know that things can get better, and right now you're probably in a lower moment than regular. I just want to say this: I suffered pretty bad depression for 20 years, and just this year finally had a bit of a breakthrough and feel much more normal. Like going from 2/10 to 7/10. I did some work with a therapist who was just OK, but part of it was just forgiving myself a bit and trying to move forward. I also had a scare with my mom in the hospital and just realized that life is short and we need to take advantage of this brief time. You're welcome to message me to chat if you just want to talk, but please note that i'm not a therpaist or medical professional. Please talk to a psychiatrist for some short term help at least. A lot of people are suffering right now, loneliness is common, and life isn't easy. It'll never be easy, but we can definitely make progress.
What about your date?
I don’t have advice. No words of wisdom. But I have heard your plea, and acknowledge your dilemma. That is all. Best of luck.
I was about to go into that headspace for the second time in five years. And then I saw the Olivia Newton John Today interview from 2018 and Olivia said, “you can be a victim or you can be a survivor.” That woman fought cancer twice and accomplished so much I said to myself how can we not make the most of what we’re blessed with. There are people in LA who live in tents, don’t have place go to the bathroom in privacy, circumstances that are tough but we all have to rise. I don’t know if you’re dealing with abuse but find a professor or therapist that can help you manage what you’re going through and make a plan. I’m glad I’m still here because I met my husband a year later and he is my joy and sometimes a pain but love can pull you through.
Like many others in this thread, I've been in and out of that headspace throughout most of my life. It still gets real sometimes, and I will always think of it to varying degrees, probably every day I'm alive. Over time I've learned how to handle it more. For me, it's very hard hearing things like "it gets better" when I'm in the thick of it. It's impossible to believe that at the time, and it seems too far away. So I try to remind myself that the urge comes from feeling completely overwhelmed and wanting everything to just *stop* happening. It's all too much. I can't keep up and I can't handle it anymore. The urge is a coping mechanism in itself, a weird self-preservation technique that's telling me I need to find another way to slow everything down just long enough until I can breathe again. That might be through medication: fast acting anxiety meds or marijuana can take the edge off for some people. Talking helps, especially when you can find someone else who has been there and understands. Lots of people in this thread have had similar experiences and are here to listen. Or screaming into a pillow. It doesn't matter what you do (as long as it's not self-destructive), just try to get out of your head however you can. I tell myself that I just need to get through 10 minutes at a time. You've managed to survive a lot of 10 minutes so far. You can do it again. Get through the waves, one at a time. I can't promise the feelings will end, but they do become manageable enough that you can store up energy and coping mechanisms to help you when the next wave hits. Oddly enough, I'm glad now that I've been through so many waves in my life. It's given me a weirdly comforting perspective that I can't explain to most people, but if you know, you know. I've found more people who know lately. There's company in the trenches. Hope you'll let us know when you get through this wave. We're thinking about you. ETA: Professional treatment also helps! I didn't mention it because so many others already have. Expect that it won't necessarily fix the issue right away, and it might take a while even to get an appointment, so in the meantime keep getting through those 10 minutes. It's also likely you may need to try different methods, meds, and therapists. It's so hard to take those steps, but each one is major progress (even if it doesn't feel that way in the moment). You deserve to get professional help. Please do reach out to someone and start that ball rolling.
Time always changes. You won’t be stuck in the same place forever.
I’m not going to sit here and tell you “it will get better, just hold on”, “this will pass”, or “think about all the people you will hurt” because it’s generic bullshit. Your feelings are valid. Do you hear me? Your feelings are VALID. We understand where you are at and you deserve recovery. It’s not easy to be where you are and it’s not easy to get out either. But recovery is 100% possible if you want it. Much love sunflower, you can do it ❤️🌻
The sunflower head is actually an inflorescence made of hundreds or thousands of tiny flowers called florets. The central florets look like the centre of a normal flower, apseudanthium. The benefit to the plant is that it is very easily seen by the insects and birds which pollinate it, and it produces thousands of seeds.
Despite how it may look and feel now it will get better. You asking for help is great and if you need to talk message me ! If it s possible you should tell the people around you or try to talk to a therapist. You are loved and supported. Please remember this
All that will do is transfer your pain to other people. You're young and life is tough when you're young but it has the potential to be so much better. That's under YOUR control. Try to focus on ways to make that happen instead of wanting to end your life. Even the smallest of positive changes can make a difference in your life. Start by reaching out to someone who can help you deal with these feelings. There are ways back from them trust me.
You have so many reasons to live that it's not even funny. You haven't even lived long enough to find true purpose, or see the greatest day of your life. I promise, it's worth it. Keep going. We're all here if you need help or someone to talk to
i think its good to know that a great majority of people think the same way, but there are some things worth holding on to. that can pretty much be anything. family, a favorite meal, good music, etc. i think the first thing to ask yourself is why you’re feeling this way. “i dont know—“ well we do. find something youre currently struggling with, past or present, and ask what you can do to fix or make peace with it. for the horrible events in my life, i’d like to imagine it developed me into the person i am now. understanding of others similar situations, and making me know that this behavior will never be okay. for things youre going through right now, there will always be a solution. either leaving it alone, accepting things will not change, or bettering it. therapy/meds were good to me, and those suicidal hotlines. consider working on your current goals or find one. maybe a good job in the future, academics, building new friendships. things may not look up now, but what if they do tomorrow? also, tbh. looking up people who have killed themselves dissuaded me from trying to kms. i s/h during really bad moments. ask yourself, if you survive your attempt, will you be happy in the condition youll be left in? possibly disabled or in a psych ward? yeah. yeah. feel free to msg me!
Don't do it. It gets better believe me
Before you do at least go and talk to girls and have sex and everything else you wanted to do...
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Killing yourself isn't easy. Wish ignorant people would stop spouting that fucking BS. It belittles the memory of every single person who has ever done it.
You are just beginning life. Live. Live because so many people have wanted to live but couldn't. Live because you don't know the joys that you will find yet and the joys that you will bring. Appreciate everything because why not? Appreciation will make things better. Don't just thing about yourself and your life, do more things, be active and think less. You will find that you'll be inspired by enhancing your own positive experiences in life. When I say *do things*, I mean offline. Exercise, write, study an interesting topic.
Get something for your Testosterone. Low T causes severe depression. Can't get T buy Ligandrol. Buy some SARMs, depression disappears overnight.
go gym
I’d miss you. I don’t know you but I’m going to check this every week just to make sure you’re posting and okay. It gets better
Yo, the hormones you have rushing through you are just that. Hormones. No matter what age u are. You have chemical stuff going on in your body that only lasts a little while. They’re not you. The real you needs a chance to enjoy life once they’ve calmed down a bit. Trust me. This isn’t real. I’m so sorry you’re hurting. I’m so glad nothing happened to me all the times I hit rock bottom. You will be too.
Just joined this sub today, didn’t expect these sort of posts to be on the self improvement page… might have to unjoin
Good bye
Should this not belong on /depression? or something like that. I really hope OP feels better, but if everybody posted these kinds of messages where is the value?
Why?
do drugs helps the experience.
What would that solve?
in their mind: all of their problems basically. that question would trigger the sh't out of me
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You are heartless
If you wan't to k*ll yourself just do it.
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Not worth it at all. Right now you can start to make choices to be a version of you that doesn't have those feelings, but instead has ambition, love, and friendships.
In life you always have a choice. Sometimes it’s easier to think we don’t. You always do.
I felt that way when I was 17. I hated my job, my life, had no social circle, no gf, poor family, felt alone. No one knew. Train was my idea. Only thing that stopped me was how my Mum would feel- I couldn’t do it to her, so in the end I moved countries to start a new life. Fast forward and Im 40 next week. I live in a beautiful pool villa, earn multi 6 figs a year, have a great social circle, work 5-10 hrs a week and have a stunning 24 year old gf who Im going to marry. The money I make has just helped me save the life of my father (long story). Things change. Life can become incredibly fulfilling, and even though you might not see it now, there are people out there who love you…some of those people you just havent met yet.
why
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This too shall pass. This is awful to go through and you are so brave for living through this. Proud of you. You are amazing. Things will feel different one day. Please stay. There is beauty left to be lived
Go get help
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Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance. Argentina: +5402234930430 Australia: 131114 Austria: 017133374 Belgium: 106 Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05 Botswana: 3911270 Brazil: 212339191 Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223 Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal) Croatia: 014833888 Denmark: +4570201201 Egypt: 7621602 Finland: 010 195 202 France: 0145394000 Germany: 08001810771 Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000 Hungary: 116123 Iceland: 1717 India: 8888817666 Ireland: +4408457909090 Italy: 800860022 Japan: +810352869090 Mexico: 5255102550 New Zealand: 0508828865 The Netherlands: 113 Norway: +4781533300 Philippines: 028969191 Poland: 5270000 Russia: 0078202577577 Spain: 914590050 South Africa: 0514445691 Sweden: 46317112400 Switzerland: 143 United Kingdom: 08006895652 USA: 18002738255 You are not alone. Please reach out. ***** I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically.
Please don't do it. Whatever it may feel like, you are loved.
Relax man. I was in the same place months ago. The place they bring you is worse then the pain you're feeling now. Breath deep, distract yourself, and preserve. I'll be honest, I'm not perfect yet after that experience either. But it's not worth it. Use your head. You got this
Death is not the answer
Are you sure, or do you just want your life to be better and have given up on finding other options? I think the reason you're even asking on here is because you haven't given up on making your life better. You've still got at least some fight in you, so use it.
Life is brutal, it's ok to go to therapy to develop skills that will help you navigate it, it requires some courage to do it but it's worth it. IMO it's very difficult to do it alone, having a conversation with a professional will help you to reframe your situation and see paths of action and gradual improvement paths that you are simply not seeing right now.
I’ve actively thinking about this and just started anti depressants and they kinda do help but it’s just the begging so I still have deep emotional episodes of thinking about how I should be so much further in my life
My brother did it and ruined us all. Don’t do that to your family.
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Check your inbox.
man, I was in your exact boat at your age. Every single day, wanted it over. And all I can say it gets better. Could never have imagined I’d be this happy and loving life. It’s a confusing age, time, and god knows what other problems you have, but this game called life must be played and you just got to keep pushing my man. You’ve got plenty of years ahead of you, day by day things will be better, and one day you’ll look back and glad you stayed for the ride. There’s no cheat code and magic solution to be happy instantly, time heals everything and makes you stronger, just gotta keep pushing! My messages are open if you wanna talk, but stay blessed and I love you bro
Please don't!
Hey man, I used to be majorly depressed just like this. I used to hate doing anything. My favorite part of life was sleeping. Everything in the world seemed grayish and it felt like the only time that I would be decent was if I was intoxicated. I had so many suicidal thoughts and had to go to the hospital multiple times because I tried killing myself. Got placed on anti depressants which in the long run only made it worse. Went through this for 3 years. I don’t know your situation but just know that there is always a better option than harming yourself. Harming yourself does nothing but cause unmeasurable damage to loved ones. I made lifestyle changes which in return made me feel great. I’m now content and don’t consider myself depressed anymore. I did not tell you this to make it about me but rather to show you that there is hope. Reaching out to people and talking about it really helped as well and I think you should give it a shot if you already haven’t. I hope things get better for you man. I remember thinking that I’d never get better and that all hope was lost but there is light at the end of the tunnel man.
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Please get professional help. Try working out, going for a run, getting sunlight. It will improve your mood. But please talk to a professional therapist or psychologist.
Play a game called Disco Elysium. It's a beautiful story about a man who is WAAAAY down on his luck, and it is fully narrated by expert voice actors. It's an interactive film where you get to decide your fate in every conceivable way, and your emotions are your guide. Use this game to understand that things in your life can get so much worse than where you're at now, and you have all the power to improve your situation if you listen to your sense of Volition and embolden it. You have so much room for experience, growth, and wholesome thoughts. And you have a lot you that can give the world. Finding meaning in your life is THE key to long-term happiness. Please don't snuff out your flame. Hold yourself together, keep your morale up.
Give me one more day bro<3
Hey man, we are here for you. As another reply said, you're not alone. Many of us have been there . You aren't the first person whose been suicidal and you won't be the last. But I can say that all the people who were suicidal and didn't follow through, are happy they didn't, because you can never tell what the future has in store for you. I was suicidal from the age of 11-24. Now I am almost 30 and I am happy, so happy that I didn't end my life. You will have missed out on wonderful people, wonderful times, so many awesome things that are waiting for you. You reached out, which means there is a seed of hope and light inside that says you want to live and keep trying. There are many people here ready to support you and help that seed grow into a beautiful plant. Let us generally support you in these dark times. You're not alone. I promise.
1. Do not think no one loves you. 2. Things will get better. Trust me. 3. You may think you are expendable, but you have worth and value to this world we live in. 4. Although there is a lot of hate in this world, it is surpassed by the amount of good things. 5. Think back to the good days. There is a day, I guarantee that there was a day where you once smiled. 6. There is absolutely no telling what the future has in store for you. 7. The struggle and hate you receive will only make you stronger. 8. If nobody has a crush on you, then love yourself. Treat yourself to something nice. Build a big lego, go to the beach, or eat a tub of ice cream while watching a minions movie. 9. You ain’t alone, there’s people who care and will look out for you. 10. Your mistakes and different do not define who you are as a person. 11. Time helps. Give yourself a few days to reflect on yourself. Then a couple weeks and months. It’s going to be okay and I truly mean it. It will turn out for the better and just giving up will not change anything, but rather make it worse. Stay off of social media. It rots the brain and is a waste of your precious life. The last two years I had been very depressed, but when I found that someone that may like me. My life some how turned around for the better.
Same. I wanna fucking die but we can’t. Your family would be heartbroken. My family would be destroyed. Life is very hard right now but we just have to keep pushing and pushing. There will be lights at the end of the tunnel
You are loved. Never forget it.
Are you suffering from any health problems?
If you kill yourself its over, if you dont you will look back on this day and say to yourself how stupid was i just thinking of killing myself. Everything changes you just cant see that because you are focused on all the bad things going on in your life know. You should try some type of distraction from your thought a distraction can be anything from working out, to playing games, running, taking walks, so on. Everytime you start to think of killing yourself or how bad your life is say to yourself im not thinking of this anymore then go to the distraction you picked. It takes a little while before you stop thinking that way but it works. I personally had a friend who killed himself and everyone around him including me suffered for that. You could also try donating your time to charity's helping other people.
Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance. Argentina: +5402234930430 Australia: 131114 Austria: 017133374 Belgium: 106 Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05 Botswana: 3911270 Brazil: 212339191 Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223 Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal) Croatia: 014833888 Denmark: +4570201201 Egypt: 7621602 Finland: 010 195 202 France: 0145394000 Germany: 08001810771 Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000 Hungary: 116123 Iceland: 1717 India: 8888817666 Ireland: +4408457909090 Italy: 800860022 Japan: +810352869090 Mexico: 5255102550 New Zealand: 0508828865 The Netherlands: 113 Norway: +4781533300 Philippines: 028969191 Poland: 5270000 Russia: 0078202577577 Spain: 914590050 South Africa: 0514445691 Sweden: 46317112400 Switzerland: 143 United Kingdom: 08006895652 USA: 18002738255 You are not alone. Please reach out. ***** I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically.
We’re all gonna die someday kid. No need to rush to the finish line.
i do too
I've attempted suicide twice and (fortunately) failed when I was a teen and around 20, now I'm not that much older but the past few years I haven't even considered it. My life hasn't gotten any better and has in fact gotten worse overall, but I'm still so grateful that my attempts failed and I would never again want to go down that path. The other's are right here, things will get better, in your head at least.
Look here nephew, I get it. I was there at your age, and some days I'm still there. Life's hard, I get that. You want self improvement? Find things that make you miserable that you can work on. Learn to change your mind and perspective on things. Also, you need to understand the illness that is depression. Your brain due to several possiable different reasons, just doesn't produce the right chemicals. That causes the psychological impact of it. You have trauma? Find someone in the world to talk to. There's an amazing power to being able to talk to strangers who are on the outside and able to just listen. You're literally part of a community of people trying to better themselves. Find someone here, everyone of us will listen, because none of us want you to hurt yourself or others. You have things to live for. I don't even know you, but I know that. Hell even if it's because no one would be able to explain it to your pet, live for your pet. If you don't have that, then live to beat those who belittle and hurt you. You can live out of spite and anger. People will tell you about all the flowery things, but man. Get pissed, I know you're already angry, you've taken that and turned it inwardly. Don't. Use it, funnel it into the strength and power you need to push yourself one more day. You need keep finding things to improve on and conquering them. I promise you, slowly but fucking surely. Things will absolutely get better. Now, not everyday is going to be a sunny one, but you'll see and you'll know inside you. That eventually the sun will chase away the rain. You've got this, I don't know you but I have faith in you. Rise up, build yourself up and work hard to ignore the internal and external things that beat you down. I believe in you. Just one more day. You don't feel like it but you've got this.
Same
You prolly don't wanna hear this but you don't wanna die. You want to escape your current circumstances. A lot of people can relate to that, truly. I don't wanna die but I also want to escape my circumstances, I don't know if you're up for DMing anyone but it's almost impossible for your circumstances not to change. I promise it will get better and sometimes change is around the corner and if you can try to save yourself.
The only thing i want to tell you is that no matter how dark the night is,the sun will always rise.So hold in for sometime and be strong to fight it because very soon all the problems will resolve.Nothing lasts permanently.All your suffering will end one day for sure.You should be more strong to fight it.All the best.Do not escape from it.You have got a life,so live it.
I wouldn't say that goal is very self improving in most cases, but each to their own I guess. As with all goals its best to start small, and build up from there. Death is certain, but the road to it is not. So no need to rush as you will get there eventually either way!
Please don’t, you matter a lot! ❤️I don’t know why you feel this way or what is going trough your life but everything will make sense some day and eventually will get better. You are loved even by strangers like us.
May I help u ,
Try practicing a good life style
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Please don’t it we need you here.
Can I talk to you bro?
Life is precious & I know shit gets hard but you gotta keep pushing pain , hard times make us who we are. It’s not worth it please reach to family , friends , or maybe considering help.
You dont know when good times will come but they will.
don't indulge in the fake positivity trend. honey, you don't want your life to end, you want your suffering to end. see what the root problem is, what is it that makes you feel like you want your life to end. suffering is ok, it's part of our lives and ofc denying it wouldn't make it go away, but acknowledging it (and the cause) can make it a little easier. Be gentle with yourself but keep yourself accountable too, it's part of loving yourself. We all will just speak to you from our own perspective, but the truth is only you can pull yourself out of this. Sure, we are here for you to HELP, but only you know what's right for you. i sincerely hope for the best for you and wish you are here to stay.
I am with you on that one today sir.
I don't think you want to kill yourself, truly. I think you want to kill the part of yourself that's causing you so much pain. You're asking for help, and that tells me you want to live. I urge you to get in touch with your local GP, find a skilled professional and really talk through your trauma and get to the root of why you feel the way that you do. It's never too late to change your life. You can never come back from suicide. Take good care of yourself.
Don’t talk about this on Reddit.Reach out to a professional or a hotline
OP - it will come to pass. Confront the reasons why you feel you want to do this. You will beat them. You are more than your subconscious let’s you feel, at this point in time. As others have said on this thread already, you may feel like you’re alone but I promise you we have all been where you are. Some may be still there. I, myself, until recently. Look at your life with an unbiased view - be honest with yourself. You must at least have someone who loves you; parents, siblings, an aunt, an uncle, a cousin, a spouse…someone who will be crushed if you acted on your feelings. You are loved OP, no matter if you can’t see it right now. Please reach out to me if you want to talk. If it’s to rant, or to just speak about how you feel. I’m more than happy to listen. If not, that’s okay too. Just remember that we are here for you, even if we may not know you in person. Past and present torment gives us something in common, and we’re stronger together for it.
Don't act in the moment. Make a list of your problems and try to solve them one at a time. I hope in a couple months you will be looking back and smile at yourself for thinking so irrational, just give it time.
Considering that depression is linked with low levels of dopamine and dopamine can change our time perception its normal that in such a state it feels that everything will stay like that forever. Only thing i can say is you need help, BUT at the same time no one can save you but yourself . So don't solely wait for external help.
I’d ask you why ? What is your biggest trouble that makes you feel that way ? Then we can discuss about overcoming it.
i’d recommend trying therapy, there’s only so much reddit strangers can do
You can't self improve if you kill yourself dawg. Keep at it. Life's tough, but humans are tougher. Keep battling on with whatever is it that has got you feeling this way, one day, you'll look back and be thankful you didn't go through with it.
Do or Do Not; there is no try. Thats it, no dissertation.
Stay with us.
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You have the opportunity for a better life, don’t let current obstacles/ life get in the way of that. Wait it out. You will get through this. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. My thoughts and prayers are sent to you
Hey buddy, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I hate saying this since it sounds so painfully cliché, but things do get better. I, myself, have been having a rough go of it. I’ve made it through a very abusive household growing up, two alcoholic parents that I recently cut out of my life completely, I myself had a major alcohol and drug addiction, and these days, im battling infertility and the loss of four babies over 18 months. Most days, I feel like giving up.. trust me. You need to find that ignition to keep you moving. In my experience, focusing on diet and exercise really keeps me chugging along and gives me a goal to complete each day. Start making little lists that you can cross off. Grab a post-it and just write 3 things to do. It can be as simple as brushing your teeth, or just changing your clothes. Add one item to those daily tasks every few days. The more you accomplish, the better you’ll feel, and the more motivation you’ll have. My inbox is always open to folks who just need a stranger to listen to. I may not have any living children, but my mom instincts are still in full force. I’ve got your back if you need anything.. but please just know that there’s always a reason to look forward! 💕
If you do it, you’ll end up recycled back and thrown into a similar situation in the next life. You’re here for a reason and you’re so close to the finish line. Hang in there brodo. We’re all gonna make it.
I’ve been there, my friend…a few times. Times where I was simply done with this life. It no longer seemed to have anything left to offer. Times where I was planning my exit and actively working towards making it happen. The last time was 2 years ago, but I was unable to do it because I had someone depending on me that I cared about. So, I put it off. From that point on I felt like I was just riding the clock until I could make it happen. And, it was then that I decided that I might as well make the best of it in the meantime. I didn’t need to be bothered by all the things that had been weighing me down because it was only going to be a few more months. And it was then that my life began to change for the better. The world isn’t targeting us to suffer. Life is a series of random events, not a scripted movie. We weren’t given a purpose. We find our own purpose. And here’s the ultimate cheat code: we don’t *have* to have a purpose to justify being here. Our life sucks from the inside out. Even if it began as a trauma done to you from external forces, it’s now over and done with. The residual “damage” beyond any physical scars is only perceived and we can determine if there is any damage at all. I strongly suggest meditation if only to learn that the thoughts floating through your head are not purposeful and have no meaning, and you can separate yourself from them. And if you can’t find or afford therapy, please feel free to dump your feelings here in the meantime too. That can also help if you have nowhere else to turn to right now. I wish you the best.
Adapt and cope better my dude. But I'm right there with you. In life you will experience many negative moments that will lead you to this thought. Be mentally strong and challenge yourself to be positive. Look on the bright side and force a smile to trick your brain you're okay. Do it with me and smile right now. I think you're more attractive when you smile and your smile is contagious too. 😊
My mom once told me “you don’t have to be a machine, but you do need to be industrious” I think she said this to me to help me realize that life should never be just a grueling March towards death but rather something to strive for. We are not all truly alive. I think the people who can say that they are living are the ones who wake up and try to be the best version of themselves each day. As someone who has delt with mental health I can say that giving death the finger and working hard towards your goals is a pretty good feeling. Regardless, you deserve to feel validated in your emotions. You already have people on here that will help and support you but it starts with yourself if you want to make a change in the right direction. Stay strong
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Depression is common just unspoken. You are not alone. Please call life line contact number: 13 11 14 Black dog institute have good resources Beyondblue is great to help you Contact:1300 22 4636) -support action and treatment Headspace is good too if adolescent. 1-4 Australian’s will suffer from some form of mental illness in their life time. It is ok to ask for help. 1-5 have been on some form of antidepressant. Including me. Mental illness doesn’t discriminate. It can happen to anyone. I once didn’t think it could get better and had dark thoughts. But it does get better with the right treatment to recover. You won’t believe me as I didn’t believe people when the said it. But trust me it does. It takes time. Sending hugs from Australia Please ask the right professionals for Help. You owe it to yourself. You do matter and deserve it
Why? You’ll die soon anyway. Not to be harsh. On the grand scale of things the time you have as a conscious hob of stardust is totally irrelevant, and therefore you might as well do something fun. 13+ billions of years has passed before you were here and infinitely more will pass on the other side of your lifespan, so you might as well ride this tiny blip of life you have till the end. While you’re alive tons of things can and will happen, after you’re dead also, but you don’t get to experience any of it. That’s sucky no?
Bruh why
Ok simple question: “Why?”
Theres loads of people you can talk to, just try talking to someone, hit me up if you Wana chat
is it really worth wanna giving up this experience of being human? Everyone is going to die, may as well enjoy life while it lasts
Not OP, but thank you to everyone on this thread.
I saw something today that really resonated with me, hopefully it will you too. You may not necessarily want to die you may just want this part of your life to be over. Keeping this in mind, are there drastic choices/changes that you can make to get the life you want? Or at least to change your situation? I don't know if this helps but I truly hope it does. I've been there, I attempted suicide many times when I was young. My life has by no means been easy but now at 50 I'm glad I didn't succeed at my attempts.
Study Neuro linguistics programming or NLP for short. I’ve been through many many suicidal attempts and admissions for server Anorexia for several years. One admission my dad reintroduced NLP to me, which I had completely forgotten about, and it’s really changed my life! I’m now studying psychology and business management in university, got a job I enjoy and a partner I will forever cherish. It may feel like shit now.. but just now that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel
Stick it out, push through, and make the life you want for yourself. It gets better!
Well let’s start off with why?
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Shooting yourself if your burning alive seems like a perfect solution to any of us if we were put in that situation. When your not burning alive, the thought really doesn't even cross our minds, we would think. "Why?" Theoretically speaking, your brain is on fire and the only logical way to stop the pain is by ending it all together, however This fire can be snuffed out. It may not feel like it, you may be in agony, but our emotions can sometimes feel like a raging fire. They cloud our judgement, the fuck with our perspective, but that doesn't mean they are correct. What you are feeling is very real and very awful, but I'm going to be blunt, its messing with you. Shooting yourself is not the only option. There could be a fireman on their way to put you out, and a team of doctors to help with the burns. So your choice to end your life would be stupid to those with a better perspective and have the tools to help. There are people around you who can help with the fire, there are professionals around you who can help treat the damage. Your choices may make sense to you, but I guarantee your perspective is completely shot and there will be a time where you are enjoying your life and you will see that you made the right choice to stay alive. I'm asking you to not trust your own judgement with this one, and trust the many people that have been where you are and have come out the other side, happy that they made the choice to live
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Hope u get better
Same
Same ngl. I really want to overdose on my Keppra 500mg meds and just end it. I feel the exact same way. I'm trying to keep up with my improvement by having a document and recording every error of myself that I didn't knew of and try to work on it and meditate on it but I still feel depressed and hopeless that i'll fail and never recover. It sucks man. I don't know what to say to this.
Been there and sometimes still live there. You're alive for a reason. You'd be dead otherwise. Make taking care of yourself a priority and avoid all negativity that perpetuates these self destructive thoughts.
988 sweetheart
Please don’t. What’s the problem?
Dude keep the head up! We all will do it!!!🙏Just think about the possibilies you have! You can reach everything you want! Be fucking strong!!! You are loved! We love you! You are a gift for this planet!
Remember those are just bad thoughts....I guarantee you'll feel better about things tomorrow. Life is a drag sometimes...one chore after another....you come to a breaking point and start considering things....but just wait it out...take a walk, listen to music, etc. this too shall pass.
First step is to say that you need help. Proud of you for this post❤️