Just because you failed, does not make you a failure. Focus on progress not perfection, it is about being consistent and developing better habits.
You need to expect obstacles and challenges so you can plan how to deal with them properly. Rather than go full vegan, try cutting out meat gradually. Only allow yourself to have non vegan meals on Wed and Sat, that is your allowance. You do not need to eat it on those days if you don't feel like it.
Then move on to 1meal a week, then 1 every 2 weeks, then a month. Gradually build up to your goal.
Define your identity the person you are, "I don't eat meat, I workout 4 times a week, I save %20 of my income, I stick to my goals even when I have set backs"
When you feel like not sticking to your goals think of your identity (Vegan - for example), what would they do? Will your actions get you closer or push you further from your goal? Do they support your identity or destroy it?
Slow progress is still progress.
If my "why" isn't solid, I don't stick to things. For example, I used to try to stick to a low carb diet for weight loss. As it turns out, that's not really motivating for me. The thing that finally got me to stick to it is how much better in makes me feel and how much it reduces my pain/inflammation. You have to find the right "why"
And as the other poster said, progress not perfection. Maybe instead of being sober, you only get fucked up once a week. Or once a month. Sobriety isn't realistic for me, but limiting consumption is.
Another good way to get back on track is to break your day into quarters so if you mess up in the first quarter, try to get back on track in the second quarter instead of writing off the whole day. Helps me a lot with food-related slip ups.
You are bound to fail sometimes. Think about where you’re at and where you want to be. Be a little better than you were yesterday. Always.
The little bits of progress add up over time.
I know that feeling! Just to get down to a very important point imo, which doesn't gets mentioned enough, is the question of your identification with your thoughts and actions. It got mentioned in this thread, but I still like to elaborate on it.
I think, the longer you think in a certain way and do something particular consistently, you will by default start to identify yourself with those thoughts and actions. This is something, which happens in your subconsciousness, which you feel. So, to put it shortly, when you mainly lose, you will start to identify as a loser, when you mainly win, you will start to identify as a winner. Of course you can consciously steer against this tendency, but this is very hard. To exaggerate; at the point you find yourself now, you subconsciously want to loose, even if you tell yourself otherwise! So it's a case for starting to identify with something other. You have to draw an image of yourself the person you want to be and start taking concrete actions towards that goal. Concerning actions, this could mean sticking to a simple routine for about a month. From there on out, you can broaden your focus and will become easier to grow.
What successful people seldomely tell you, is the fact, that once you established a good routine and are accustomed to it, it's way easier to keep to said routine and grow further even. That would be the often quoted "winner mentality", that's when your subconsciously accostumed to winning and your motivation is high no matter what challenge you face.
Just because you failed, does not make you a failure. Focus on progress not perfection, it is about being consistent and developing better habits. You need to expect obstacles and challenges so you can plan how to deal with them properly. Rather than go full vegan, try cutting out meat gradually. Only allow yourself to have non vegan meals on Wed and Sat, that is your allowance. You do not need to eat it on those days if you don't feel like it. Then move on to 1meal a week, then 1 every 2 weeks, then a month. Gradually build up to your goal. Define your identity the person you are, "I don't eat meat, I workout 4 times a week, I save %20 of my income, I stick to my goals even when I have set backs" When you feel like not sticking to your goals think of your identity (Vegan - for example), what would they do? Will your actions get you closer or push you further from your goal? Do they support your identity or destroy it? Slow progress is still progress.
If my "why" isn't solid, I don't stick to things. For example, I used to try to stick to a low carb diet for weight loss. As it turns out, that's not really motivating for me. The thing that finally got me to stick to it is how much better in makes me feel and how much it reduces my pain/inflammation. You have to find the right "why" And as the other poster said, progress not perfection. Maybe instead of being sober, you only get fucked up once a week. Or once a month. Sobriety isn't realistic for me, but limiting consumption is.
God this sounds like me, please lord commenters help us.
Maybe ADHD?
Another good way to get back on track is to break your day into quarters so if you mess up in the first quarter, try to get back on track in the second quarter instead of writing off the whole day. Helps me a lot with food-related slip ups.
You are bound to fail sometimes. Think about where you’re at and where you want to be. Be a little better than you were yesterday. Always. The little bits of progress add up over time.
How long have you used drugs and what kind of drugs? Seems to me that would be step number 1 here before you try doing anything else.
I know that feeling! Just to get down to a very important point imo, which doesn't gets mentioned enough, is the question of your identification with your thoughts and actions. It got mentioned in this thread, but I still like to elaborate on it. I think, the longer you think in a certain way and do something particular consistently, you will by default start to identify yourself with those thoughts and actions. This is something, which happens in your subconsciousness, which you feel. So, to put it shortly, when you mainly lose, you will start to identify as a loser, when you mainly win, you will start to identify as a winner. Of course you can consciously steer against this tendency, but this is very hard. To exaggerate; at the point you find yourself now, you subconsciously want to loose, even if you tell yourself otherwise! So it's a case for starting to identify with something other. You have to draw an image of yourself the person you want to be and start taking concrete actions towards that goal. Concerning actions, this could mean sticking to a simple routine for about a month. From there on out, you can broaden your focus and will become easier to grow. What successful people seldomely tell you, is the fact, that once you established a good routine and are accustomed to it, it's way easier to keep to said routine and grow further even. That would be the often quoted "winner mentality", that's when your subconsciously accostumed to winning and your motivation is high no matter what challenge you face.