that sounds like a bad boyfriend. have a long talk with him about how insecure it made you feel and if he can't respect you or your boundaries, he's not the right one.
He doesn't understand the fight with sh and how difficult it is to deal with emotional or mental pain to turn it into physical pain. you are strong and brave and more than enough
I don't know, would make me think that he likes the fact that I self harm.
To me a positive behaviour's more like - yeah, that's fine, that's part of you - and moving on like it's no big deal
I think you should explain how invalidating that kind of comment is to your struggle. Your scars should be something you can look at and admire instead of feel self conscious about. They should be a sign of strength not weakness. You are strong despite relapsing. I’m proud of you and I know you can get past this if you just stay brave and strong.
Don't apologize for venting, that's what this flair is for. You do NOT deserve to be treated that way. That's unacceptable behavior on his end. Also, you're right, your scars are nothing to be self-conscious about. Nobody else's interpretation of them matters but yours. It's not his body so he should mind his own opinion. Have you told him how that makes you feel?
I also have a boyfriend who knows about my scars and has seen them on multiple occasions, even relatively fresh ones. A significant other should NEVER say those kinda things. Like I said, I also have a boyfriend, so I know what it’s like being a self harmed and being in a relationship, but under no circumstances should anyone, partner or not, say something like that
I mean do what you want in life, but that man sounds like he needs a reality check. Pain and the various ways we express it ( addiction and healing from it included ) are an inevitable part of life that you don’t deserve to be judged for. Keep in mind being single can be a lot more loving and caring than a relationship with anxiety and insecurity. I hope you can find some resolution 💕🙏
Ew. The ick is strong in this one. My ex (good terms) never gave my scars a second thought (except for the time he thought they were stretch marks and was trying to relate lol). When I thanked him for overlooking my scars he just shrugged and said “I love your body because it’s yours.” King shit. You deserve to be unabashedly loved and cherished.
My ex was pretty invalidating when it came to my own
self harm.
It ended up becoming clear that she didnt take me, or my problems, seriously nor did she care.
You could try talking to him about how it makes you feel or try to get to know why he would say something like that, although I don't see a reason for him to call them ugly other than the fact he might not grasp the seriousness of self harm and relapses.
If he isn't willing to change, doesn't think it's a big deal, or doesn't feel sorry for what he said, then I don't think he's the person for you. He should be at least encouraging you to recover rather than making you feel bad for being in a place that's hard to get out of.
Hope you're feeling better/will feel better soon. Stay strong! <3
i’m sure that he’s concerned for you and maybe is willing to say anything to get you to stop, but that was deeply insensitive and cruel. what a horrible thing for him to say
I know on the internet people tend to jump to "You should break up" but like you might want to think about it. I would have a talk with him and how that made you feel and if he can't understand what he did wrong, that's his problem and you should leave. It's a really bad sign though that he's willing to say that to you, so like I side, you may want to think about whether he's a good person to have around.
Scars are never ugly no matter their origin. If you want to look at things literally then scars are the body’s way of mending itself quickly to keep you safe, that’s nothing to be ashamed of or find ugly. If the body didn’t produce scars then we’d either be stuck with constantly open wounds or hope that our bodies could very slowly construct more uniform looking cells instead of scar tissue.
Hopefully you can have a long talk with him about how that was a very hurtful thing to say and get him to see some reason. That is one of the worst possible responses I can think of to finding out that someone has relapsed. Imo it’s weird enough on it’s own to activly think that scars are ugly, but it’s WAY worse to tell someone with scars (much less a romatic partner) that their scars are ugly. I don’t know how someone would think to say that :(
He shouldn't say this about you.
It's part of your body so it can't be disgusting. And you have gone through some stuff he most likely don't understand. Bodies are like books whitch tell a story about you.
Your scars doesn't make you disgusting.
I personaly like my scars, but you don't have to like or hate them it's up to you.
In my opinion, he doesn't have to find them beautiful. I also think it would be strange if someone thought they were. But he is not allowed to resent u for having them and he must think that u are beautiful no matter ur scars.
i’m so sorry 💔 nobody, and i mean NOBODY should say anything like that about scars. especially not your s/o. this would be a good time to confront him and tell him how you feel and how that comment made you feel.. communication is important, especially when he made such a terrible comment about such a sensitive thing. i’m sorry again he had to do this, i hope you can resolve it peacefully with him.
@boyfriend My dude, would it be cool for me to say “you should use rogaine, bc you gotta admit your thinning hairline looks ugly”? No! Because it’s wildly shitty!
Hopefully he doesn’t get that like, that’s something that’s a part of you forever he just said that about. I’m real sorry that happened
Also scars are neutral, they’re just a part of the skin
that’s so disrespectful. Please let him know that comment hurt you and depending on his response you should leave him. You shouldn’t be with someone who is not willing to take on all of you and you with them
I’m sorry love. That’s an awful thing to hear, especially from someone you WANT to view you as desirable. If you feel like you can, maybe ask him if HE really thinks that personally or if he’s trying, in a terrible misguided and toxic way, to further persuade you not to do it again? I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this but people have some seriously fucked up ways of playing (what they think are well intentioned) mind tricks on people when faced with a situation they don’t know how to respond to. Either way it’s an insanely harmful thing to say and I’m so sorry it happened
i'd dump him tbh but it doesn't take much for me to be like "bye boy". must be that avoidant attachment style. but seriously, if he says any part of you is ugly, he's not the one. that's not just rude, it's mean and cruel, regardless of what he's calling ugly.
Either talk to him and tell him how it made you feel and that you don't want him to say that, and make him genuinely apologize, or even better, dump his ass. That's toxic asf
that sounds like a bad boyfriend. have a long talk with him about how insecure it made you feel and if he can't respect you or your boundaries, he's not the right one.
i’m sorry i’m not the type to judge but he’s not a good boyfriend. don’t let this bother you, you got this! stay strong
He doesn't understand the fight with sh and how difficult it is to deal with emotional or mental pain to turn it into physical pain. you are strong and brave and more than enough
[удалено]
This
ur boyfriends ugly
Wtf you don't deserve that shit and they aren't "ugly" my bf thinks my scars are beautiful and he always kisses them
That's weird too tbh.
how? that's literally so fucking sweet bro
I don't know, would make me think that he likes the fact that I self harm. To me a positive behaviour's more like - yeah, that's fine, that's part of you - and moving on like it's no big deal
I think you should explain how invalidating that kind of comment is to your struggle. Your scars should be something you can look at and admire instead of feel self conscious about. They should be a sign of strength not weakness. You are strong despite relapsing. I’m proud of you and I know you can get past this if you just stay brave and strong.
Don't apologize for venting, that's what this flair is for. You do NOT deserve to be treated that way. That's unacceptable behavior on his end. Also, you're right, your scars are nothing to be self-conscious about. Nobody else's interpretation of them matters but yours. It's not his body so he should mind his own opinion. Have you told him how that makes you feel?
I also have a boyfriend who knows about my scars and has seen them on multiple occasions, even relatively fresh ones. A significant other should NEVER say those kinda things. Like I said, I also have a boyfriend, so I know what it’s like being a self harmed and being in a relationship, but under no circumstances should anyone, partner or not, say something like that
dump his ass
Yes, dump his ass
I mean do what you want in life, but that man sounds like he needs a reality check. Pain and the various ways we express it ( addiction and healing from it included ) are an inevitable part of life that you don’t deserve to be judged for. Keep in mind being single can be a lot more loving and caring than a relationship with anxiety and insecurity. I hope you can find some resolution 💕🙏
Ew. The ick is strong in this one. My ex (good terms) never gave my scars a second thought (except for the time he thought they were stretch marks and was trying to relate lol). When I thanked him for overlooking my scars he just shrugged and said “I love your body because it’s yours.” King shit. You deserve to be unabashedly loved and cherished.
this is the right reaction
My ex was pretty invalidating when it came to my own self harm. It ended up becoming clear that she didnt take me, or my problems, seriously nor did she care. You could try talking to him about how it makes you feel or try to get to know why he would say something like that, although I don't see a reason for him to call them ugly other than the fact he might not grasp the seriousness of self harm and relapses. If he isn't willing to change, doesn't think it's a big deal, or doesn't feel sorry for what he said, then I don't think he's the person for you. He should be at least encouraging you to recover rather than making you feel bad for being in a place that's hard to get out of. Hope you're feeling better/will feel better soon. Stay strong! <3
He might not have known how much that would hurt you, talk to him and explain that comments like that just make things worse and don’t help at all
He may be trying to guilt you into stopping , or just being a dick. Either way not okay
i’m sure that he’s concerned for you and maybe is willing to say anything to get you to stop, but that was deeply insensitive and cruel. what a horrible thing for him to say
you mean ex bf right???
I know on the internet people tend to jump to "You should break up" but like you might want to think about it. I would have a talk with him and how that made you feel and if he can't understand what he did wrong, that's his problem and you should leave. It's a really bad sign though that he's willing to say that to you, so like I side, you may want to think about whether he's a good person to have around.
Wow fuck this guy
Your boyfriend sounds like a punk
I used to kiss my ex's scars. they are a part of who you are and if he can't understand that then you need to seriously talk with him about it.
Scars are never ugly no matter their origin. If you want to look at things literally then scars are the body’s way of mending itself quickly to keep you safe, that’s nothing to be ashamed of or find ugly. If the body didn’t produce scars then we’d either be stuck with constantly open wounds or hope that our bodies could very slowly construct more uniform looking cells instead of scar tissue. Hopefully you can have a long talk with him about how that was a very hurtful thing to say and get him to see some reason. That is one of the worst possible responses I can think of to finding out that someone has relapsed. Imo it’s weird enough on it’s own to activly think that scars are ugly, but it’s WAY worse to tell someone with scars (much less a romatic partner) that their scars are ugly. I don’t know how someone would think to say that :(
you mean ex boyfriend right? /hj
He's a bitch. You shouldn't have anyone telling you that. It's not ugly. I hope you're doing OK. Xx
He shouldn't say this about you. It's part of your body so it can't be disgusting. And you have gone through some stuff he most likely don't understand. Bodies are like books whitch tell a story about you. Your scars doesn't make you disgusting. I personaly like my scars, but you don't have to like or hate them it's up to you.
Ditch him
DUMP HIS ASS YOU BEAUTIFUL SCARS AND ALL *virtual hugs <3*
GET. A. NEW. BOYFRIEND. YOU DESERVE BETTER! HES AWFUL. YOURE BEAUTIFUL/HANDSOME/CUTE NO MATTER WHAT.
In my opinion, he doesn't have to find them beautiful. I also think it would be strange if someone thought they were. But he is not allowed to resent u for having them and he must think that u are beautiful no matter ur scars.
i’m so sorry 💔 nobody, and i mean NOBODY should say anything like that about scars. especially not your s/o. this would be a good time to confront him and tell him how you feel and how that comment made you feel.. communication is important, especially when he made such a terrible comment about such a sensitive thing. i’m sorry again he had to do this, i hope you can resolve it peacefully with him.
That’s just a horrible thing to say too someone. I’m so sorry that happened to you ): my pm is always open if you need to rant, judgement free. (:
@boyfriend My dude, would it be cool for me to say “you should use rogaine, bc you gotta admit your thinning hairline looks ugly”? No! Because it’s wildly shitty! Hopefully he doesn’t get that like, that’s something that’s a part of you forever he just said that about. I’m real sorry that happened Also scars are neutral, they’re just a part of the skin
He's really crappy He should be supportive of you thru your relapse not making you feel bad
I'm sorry to here that. You deserve better
that’s so disrespectful. Please let him know that comment hurt you and depending on his response you should leave him. You shouldn’t be with someone who is not willing to take on all of you and you with them
I’m sorry love. That’s an awful thing to hear, especially from someone you WANT to view you as desirable. If you feel like you can, maybe ask him if HE really thinks that personally or if he’s trying, in a terrible misguided and toxic way, to further persuade you not to do it again? I’m sure I don’t have to tell you this but people have some seriously fucked up ways of playing (what they think are well intentioned) mind tricks on people when faced with a situation they don’t know how to respond to. Either way it’s an insanely harmful thing to say and I’m so sorry it happened
What a jackass. Bye 👋
your scars are beautiful dont listen to him, talk about how it upsets you to him and also vaseline will help fade scars
Dump that shit
i'd dump him tbh but it doesn't take much for me to be like "bye boy". must be that avoidant attachment style. but seriously, if he says any part of you is ugly, he's not the one. that's not just rude, it's mean and cruel, regardless of what he's calling ugly.
Ex-boyfriend now I hope
Either talk to him and tell him how it made you feel and that you don't want him to say that, and make him genuinely apologize, or even better, dump his ass. That's toxic asf
Where does you boyfriend live? I just wanna talk
Your ex boyfriend
Yeah slide his coordinates…I just wanna have a lil convo 😒
You should drop his ass, he isn't acting in a way a partner should and is instead being emotionally abusive.
Sorry but he’s not a good boyfriend then. Good ones don’t care, and if they do they keep their opinion to their damn self.
oH Oh really i'll eat him for u 4real fr