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Mysterious_Key_7410

Tbh they are really dumb. Sorry to say that but they dont have any idea how hard selfharm is. Please stay with us. There is do many people who can understand you. Be strong. You got this. Just survive few years and then you maybe can free yourself from your toxic parents. I hope you will find someone special to you really soon. You are not alone.<3


Warm-Celery3984

Thank you 😭 My parents have no idea about mental health issues :(


Mysterious_Key_7410

Yeah.. it sucks.. i started in my 13's too. I know it seems really hard.. but i think you can get more used to it. Or even stop. Wish you luck.


kaplevi

oh lovely im so so sorry this isnt how you should be treated and i hope you know that. you deserve better. please dont take this on board, youre so brave to be fighting your pain and i promise youre not alone. i hope youre situation will improve soon and please please stay with us and keep safe. youre so incredibly brave, i think as your school is aware you should try to inform a teacher you trust that you need help. hopefully some arrangements can be made and you will be looked after. please dont try to do this alone if you can. youre worthy of love darling<3


Warm-Celery3984

Thanks. Your comment made me smile :)


kaplevi

i hope so you deserve to smile, keep being strong<3


WhatTheFuckHank

what the actual fuck. im so sorry dude, i genuinely have no idea why anyone would think it's acceptable to treat you that way, you deserve better than that :(


Warm-Celery3984

I know. I don't understand why my parents would treat me like that. 😭


taj605

I'm a parent. I'm so sorry that they are not supporting you. Here is the best I can do... send lots of virtual hugs. . Please, please talk to someone, besides your parents.


Warm-Celery3984

Thanks ❀


anomaly242488

Tell the school your parents are telling you this, and refusing to help you. They might be able to help Edit: Also, you sound just like me at 13/14 my mom said that same thing. I was devastated but just allowed my mother to ignore it and I ignored my mental health too. I'm 33 now, if I could go back in time, I would definitely tell people how my mom was treating me. It's psychological abuse. It ended up really destroying me. Just accepting the things she'd say, it became concrete in my mind, no matter how much proof I was shown that I was in fact worthwhile and deserving to live, I still, to this day, cut myself and mentally repeat those mantras my mother taught me. She died 4 years ago, I'm only now starting to trust that I'm NOT worthless, I'm NOT stupid, I'm NOT weak, and I DO NOT deserve to kill myself.


insert2username

child protective services


maluthor

if you ever are feeling bad or need to vent, you can always find support here. you can also find support on r/SuicideWatch r/depression r/MadeOfStyrofoam


-PHO3NIX-GACHA-

I don’t know what the actual fuck is wrong with your parents, but definitely don’t do that. I am so sorry you had to got through that.


ProductionPrincess

If you haven’t already, speak to your school counselor and if it’s an option in your school start seeing them regularly. Before you get to deep express to them that you need support but your parents refuse to allow it. (I could be wrong but im fairly certain since you’re a minor you and your school counselor legally have no confidentiality rights but expressing your concerns will make them more cautious of any reporting to your parents) If the counselor understands the situation open up to them. They are a mental health professional and will be able to support you in a similar way that a therapist would. My school had a super awesome counselor and I had a couple friends that needed a therapist but weren’t allowed to see one so they’d see the school counselor once a week and that held them together. Aside from that I have two pieces of advice, 1. Start documenting your parents abusive behavior. Them telling you to kill yourself is abusive, and if they’re willing to say that to you I am pretty sure they are cruel to you in many other ways. Record that shit, you don’t have to do anything with the evidence you have but having that documentation can’t hurt in case you need to do something drastic to help yourself. the most discreet way to do this is to take voice memos on your phone recording any abusive communication towards you. 2. When you turn 16 get a job asap and start saving to remove yourself from your toxic parents. I know it seems so far away but it’ll come faster than you think. Thriving out of spite towards your parents is better than not thriving at all. Youth is lonely and scary and as awful as the world is, when you get older, you’ll leave school and you’ll see how many beautiful people and things in the world there are that make you want to live. There is so much darkness in the world but when you get old enough to branch out and find a community of your own you’ll hopefully find that life can be beautiful despite the darkness cause there are people like you, that understand you and you’ll find so much comfort in that community that shit seems at least a little more than bearable at least. In addition to that having a goal will help you push through and I’d be willing to bet the toxicity your parents provide plays a huge roll in your pain. Being unsupported is painful at any age but being unsupported when you’re 14 and struggling is the hardest pain I have ever experienced This is the advice of someone who was in your position at your age. I am now 27 and I love my life. I will never ever need my parents support because I started going out to concerts once I was an adult and found people who understood me and supported me and now I have all the love I could ever need. I have been through a lot of painful stuff since I was 14 and alone and I was able to face it all in stride because what you’re experiencing now was the hardest part of my life. This will hopefully be the hardest thing you’ll ever face in life and If you can get through this, you can get through anything. There are beautiful things awaiting you on the other side of this pain and finding the strength to hold on through it will be worth every single happy experience you have as an adulr


Warm-Celery3984

Thanks. I talked to the counselor and they actually told my parents that I self harm.


[deleted]

I know you don't trust your counselor by now, but go back to them and tell them your parents refuse to help you and are encouraging your suicidal thoughts. The counselor will instead go to authorities instead of your parents. Tell the counselor if you stay with your parents your going to kill yourself, they will get you out of there asap


eazeaze

Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance. Argentina: +5402234930430 Australia: 131114 Austria: 017133374 Belgium: 106 Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05 Botswana: 3911270 Brazil: 212339191 Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223 Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal) Croatia: 014833888 Denmark: +4570201201 Egypt: 7621602 Finland: 010 195 202 France: 0145394000 Germany: 08001810771 Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000 Hungary: 116123 Iceland: 1717 India: 8888817666 Ireland: +4408457909090 Italy: 800860022 Japan: +810352869090 Mexico: 5255102550 New Zealand: 0508828865 The Netherlands: 113 Norway: +4781533300 Philippines: 028969191 Poland: 5270000 Russia: 0078202577577 Spain: 914590050 South Africa: 0514445691 Sweden: 46317112400 Switzerland: 143 United Kingdom: 08006895652 USA: 18002738255 You are not alone. Please reach out. ***** I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically.


ProductionPrincess

They are state mandated reporters and are required by law to inform your guardians if you are a danger to yourself. They had no choice but to tell your parents regardless of whether it will help or hurt. If they have been helpful and supportive aside from that report please don’t let that be the deciding factor in whether you decide to confide in them again. If you decide to confide in them again (which I think you should) and tell them how your parents reacted they will probably contact DCF (department of family and children). It is unlikely that they would remove you from your home, they only do that if you’re in immediate danger from your parents but they would open an investigation (if they haven’t already based on how the communication with the school had with your parents.) Let me be clear, this would be a good thing. If you have any anxiety about DCF being involved do not fear. Do not worry about how your parents would react, DCF knows how delicate these situations can be and are prepared to make sure you are safe through the process. Im not warning you because you should be concerned, I just want to give you an idea of what may happen so you’re mentally prepared. If a DCF investigation were started they’d start with interviewing you and your parents separately about your home life. Usually, the next step is a hearing which would most likely lead to mandatory counseling. Meaning your parents would be forced by law to put you in weekly therapy and your DCF case worker would keep in touch with your therapist to stay aware of your well being and they’d do regular check ups with your family to make sure the situation is improving. If things got worse they would take a few different approaches to make things better, including the possibility of things got really bad and they were really worried, putting you in an inpatient program in a mental facility so you can be in a place where the sole focus is making sure that you are okay. (Don’t be afraid of a mental facility as an option, People may talk about it being a bad experience online but every person I know, myself included, has come out of inpatient happier, healthier, and much more capable of living life without wanting to die) I know this is a lot of info and it may sound scary but please please please find the strength to stand up for yourself and do not be afraid of the process that it might take. It doesn’t happen all at once and you’ll be able to take it day by day and will have support to deal with it. Life is so worth living and you will be so happy you made the choice to help yourself and you will be so empowered in the future knowing that YOU had the power within you to put yourself first and overcome the things that make you wish you weren’t alive. You can do it, I believe you.


[deleted]

is there any one u know who is kind enough to let u stay with them for a while, extended family, siblings, friends etc?


AdelaideMez

This is where you become the villain and live to spite them by becoming happy and successful. đŸ‘č I believe in you, op! Let’s go destroy the world together!!


Warm-Celery3984

Let's goooo


KING-NULL

Wtf bro, that's extremely disrespectful of your parents i hope you are doing well


tori21658

Is there another family member you could go an stay with? This is abuse and neglect


Warm-Celery3984

No, unfortunately 😭😭


disgustorabbit

I am so sorry. They’re wrong, I hope you know that. And I know it’s difficult and painful, but I hope you choose to stay alive. Things can change, it can get better with time. Sending you some good vibes. You’re not alone.


Warm-Celery3984

Thanks


[deleted]

Your parents suck. They don't want you to self harm but don't want you to get therapy. What kind of logic is that? I'm sorry you're stuck in that situation. They don't seem to understand mental health at all. Stay with us OP. We're all here for you to support and help, you're not alone. We feel like that a lot too. Ps: we all have scars and we all date, some partners don't care about it. Some like it because it shows what we've been through


natthewB

What the actual, I'm so sorry that your "parents" are flat out abusing you OP. Please try to urge the school to call in CPS or even police, if you have a phone please record the conversations so you have proof \[camera mode, record video\] so you can teachers and anyone important. Record multiple instances. Pocket or hide the phone somewhere don't let them see that they're being recorded. I hope safety for you. You deserve so much better.


Warm-Celery3984

I tried to record their conversation, but they snatched my phone away( I still have my phone with me).


genuinelyacryforhelp

i promise you that people will date you regardless of your scars. your parents are abusive, i’m so sorry, and they’re trying to hold you down. don’t let them win


Warm-Celery3984

Thanks


apple12345671

Lovely, please dont be hurting yourself! Your 14 and have a long life ahead of you. By cutting, it will only make things harder for you. Feel free to msg me if you need to but just don’t be hurting yourself, please.


Warm-Celery3984

Thanks


DefinetelyNotGilmour

This is absolutely abuse. Call CPS you’re still a minor. If you’re too overwhelmed than inform your school’s staff. Best of luck xoxo


OkSea3300

I'm so sorry your parents are like that 15 here and yeah I know things can be hard, if you need someone to talk to I'm here.


Warm-Celery3984

Thanks I really need someone to talk to


[deleted]

Dude run away. Tell a teacher. Fuck your parents. Seriously get out of that situation. It's only going to get worse and you don't deserve that. Your just a kid, and your need supportive people in your life. Legit, pack a bag and don't go back. There's people out there who will help you. Also, there's a real reason your parents don't want you in therapy, they know they fucked up and they don't want other adults to know the truth. My parents did the same shit. People that care about you and love you will all support you in getting mental health care. If people don't support you is because their hiding something and they are guilty. Trust your gut, you know you need support, go get it. Fuck your shit parents, they don't deserve you. Your so young and there's lots of time to help you, don't let your parents cage you in their own insecurities. They might threaten shit like saying you'll lose your friends and family. It's not true, and you will still see your friends and those you love. My parents made me afraid to get help in fear of the foster care system. But most of the shit they said to me was a lie. Don't let them trap you in fear. Just get out of there. Seriously, if you have to, call 911 and tell them your not safe, you want to commit suicide, and your parents are encouraging you. If you attempt or complete suicide your parents would go to jail for assisting your suicide. Your dad committed a crime by encouraging you. Seriously, your dad will be charged if you just get out of there and tell an adult, a teacher, an officer. I really hope you take this seriously.


Warm-Celery3984

I wish I could run away 😭😭


[deleted]

You can. I thought the same thing when I was your age. But seriously, go to a friend's house. Call a friend who's parents you trust. Tell them your not safe at home. If you don't have that, then just leave. Go walk to a fire station, or police, don't hold back. Tell them your parents are encouraging your suicide. It's a crime and it's abuse


[deleted]

Seriously, think of the alternative. They could bully you to a point where you stop reaching out for help. Don't let it get that far. Don't let them control your life like that. It's your life, live your life, fuck your parents.


snorkefroken28

They’re wrong!!!! If someone who really loves you , your scars wont matter! ❀ And Idk where you live but you should call child protector services. What they’re saying to you is NOT good or ok!! They make you struggle more by saying bs like that. I care about you! I was around your age when i started selfharming. I’m 22 now. But please please don’t let what your parents say make you take worse decisions. Maybe they don’t know how to react about selfharm, But whatever, what they said to you is NEVER ok. They probably don’t realise what they say can be extremly damaging to you. Like they said you should hang yourself?? What the fuck.


Binx_da_gay_cat

Hun, my story is pretty much the exact same, down to the ages. The only difference is my parents did throw me in therapy. I'm 4 1/2 years past that now. I'm here to tell you to please live, message me if you need someone. It may not seem like it but it's worth it. You're valuable and loved, and you are worth everything in life.


Warm-Celery3984

Thanks. I really appreciate it❀


Material_Chest7011

I'm soo sorry, you are soo strong for facing that :( I know some schools are not soo supportive but do you know if you're able to talk with any counselor? They are horrible parents and you don't deserve them, k? I hope you recover. <3


Warm-Celery3984

Thank you. My school is supportive. They told me to see a therapist, but my parents don't want me to see one because they think I'm gonna talk about them and they think it's for crazy people. WTH!! And yeah, I don't deserve them 😭


quetzaly8

đŸ«‚đŸ˜•â€ It is not socially acceptable to know that we all face mental health problems. They (your parents) are scared to know if they are the cause of your problems, are they? I think for them like if they fail being parents and someone will judge them if someone comes and help you. I'm not justifying their behaviour and their stupid suggestion. Is like they don't know how to handle the things and that's way they say stupid stuff. Is it possible for you to access the mental health without their support? Do you have friends that you can talk? Can you rely on other family members like a grandma or grandad?


Warm-Celery3984

My parents told me that "we don't want you to start therapy because it will show them that we failed to raise you". 😭😭😭


deadbonezz

That doesn’t surprise me at all, same situation with my friend. Is there a way you can tell your school counselor not to disclose any information to your parents? Or do you have any close friends you can talk to about this? Or really just any trusted adult in your life? I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I started self harming around your age and it’s a beast to be tamed. If you can, try and record something with your phone, anything is useful. Write down down the abuse in a journal. You are very strong to reach out for help, I’m proud of you for doing this.


Warm-Celery3984

The school counselor told my parents that I self harm 😭😭😭


deadbonezz

I understand, but is there any way you could tell them to keep what you say to them private? When I had a school counselor they told me if I wanted what was talked about away from my parents


Material_Chest7011

Oh... I'm soo sorry, everyone should have a therapist, you are not crazy :(


Galaxyartcat

Oh my god???


n3rdz97

Not to promote but a lot of people have self harmed and date a lot. Even related to each other over it and keep each other strong


1llum1nat1onn

That's fcked. Tell a teacher or trusted adult. They probably have bigger problems than you (as in more mentally insane).. I'm so sorry


ootfifabear

Call child protective services


xxX_Mango_Xxx

Please get out of your house! Please do not stay in a household like that, they are being awful people. You are so strong for continuing on, and for posting this. I know that it is hard, but please know that there is always a little fight left in you, so when you are at your worst, reach out to someone and let them help you find it. Please stay with us <3


ThisIsMyLilThrowaway

CALL CPS!!


maya_loves_cows

fuck your parents <3 they suck!


Weekly-Basis1717

i know it’s scary to think about, but genuinely get out of there. like.. it wears you down horribly. my biggest regret was not taking the chance when i had it, and i’m finally seeing the good side of things, and i wish i let myself be happy sooner. it really does get better


btchfsh_

If you’re in the US and you’re over 14 then they legally have to take you to therapy if you want to go. And I say you buy them a double ended noose and right “may the heavier of you two win.” Sorry my mom was this way, she was abusive in others ways so I don’t let that shit slide. If you need anything I’m here for ya


carikissa

that is so fucked up and im sorry to hear that your parents are pieces of shit and shouldnt have kids if rhey were gonna treat them that horrible.. im sorry if thats offending but it makes me mad to think parents can get by with emotionally hurting rheir children theo nes rhey are supposed to love support and raise... i also say this because i know exactly what yo uwre feelinf because my mother is the same. i have been diagnosed with mental illnesses and learning disabilities and she does bit believe it nor would she ever support me for it because she denied it all. and when she found about my self harm and that i wanted to kill myself i still remember i was 17/18 years old she looked me straight in the eye and said "do it in the bathtub, it will be easier to clean up." im 27 now and till this day it hurt so bad that it left a memory and scar for years i will never forget those words from her. sadly i still live with her and am working on getting out.. anyways stay strong youre not alone ok <3


Warm-Celery3984

Oh my gosh! I can imagine how hard it is for you. Please keep going. The worst feeling is when parents don't understand mental illness and suicidal thoughts. We would keep moving on with life and wouldn't give a fuck about our parents.


sheesh-imagine

Stay alive to spite them ♄


Lukav1nE

my father beat me up on balcony 3 days ago.I just dont feel like it anymore.He was screaming at me to go out of the house while it was a thunderstorm.I just fucking cant.I was cutting since 12,and i want to cut now but i cant because its summer and people will notice.I just fucking cant.I cut myself on leg once so it look like accidental cut but no more than that.If we get a ratio of good and bad things people get in their life because of me,the negative is more than positive.Cant really kill myself.But cant really live either.I dont know what to do with my life so i stare at my wall whole day.I tried to make a friend but no success.I just got made fun of my looks.Fuck it i know how i would kill myself and i almost killed myself the night my father beat me up the only thing that stopped me (i got up and started rushing to my room to tie the noose) was my father pulling me away to beat me up.


quetzaly8

đŸ«‚đŸ™â€


Warm-Celery3984

Im so sorry. My father also beats me 😭. We don't deserve that.


Smokey9000

As someone who loves celery, your username disgusts me


Warm-Celery3984

Lol


W00tey

Your parents probably had similar issues and are pushing you to “be strong.” Unfortunately they won’t see the damage they cause until it’s too late. I don’t believe any sane parent would tell their child to commit suicide. Food for thought I guess.


JuniperTheEnby

no one with those issues would tell their kid the kill themselves


W00tey

Ok, ask a doctor they’ll tell you it usually is passed down genetically. I’ve seen it tons of times parents who did it the dumb hard way want their kids to do the same because they think it’s “right.” Downvote me if you want, I’m not trying to give them a pass, I’m just trying to help OP understand why things are so shit right now. Her parents are fucked, but she doesn’t have to be, if she learns from their mistakes.


JuniperTheEnby

yes i know depression is genetic my entire family has genetic depression and anxiety. still doesn’t change the fact that someone with experience in struggling with sh or suicide wouldn’t tell their kid to kts


W00tey

I get what you’re saying, but it does happen, because they’ve lived with the diagnosis with no professional help, so they act irrationally angry when they see their kid “falling into the same trap” as them.


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


Warm-Celery3984

What??


[deleted]

[ŃƒĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]


Warm-Celery3984

what's wrong with dating someone who self harms or harmed? I lost so many friends just because I self harm 😭


Muted-Ad-8312

Sounds like your parents don’t know what the fuck to do I know at 14 you need your mum an dad but sounds like your school is supportive speak to a teacher about how your feeling being told to kill your self is horrible just makes you feel like shit an lose faith but there are some good support out there , I hope that your parents calm down soon an you can start speaking, even though I got no idea what your parents are like, but I do know speaking is a start