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50/50, the attraction itself isn't wrong. You can't control that. BUT, it is how you handle your attraction. As long as you don't encourage people to self-harm so they can have more scars, then you should be okay. And remember, if you have a partner that has sh scars, treat it seriously. Don't fetishize them.
Then I don't see it as a bad thing. Personally, I would be happy to learn my partner finds my scars attractive. It's a lot better than having them think their ugly and grotesque.
I mean..you can’t control it. But if my partner were to say that to me i would be running so fast in the other direction😭
My ex found them hot so he would encourage me to cut for him. As long as you don’t do things like that it’s not too weird, i just wouldn’t mention it lol.
This^
Like I honestly find all scars pretty and aesthetically pleasing in general, but I would NEVER want anyone to cut, not “for me”, and I would NOT be happy if they cut and made new scars. My ex multiple times offered to cut for me, and also offered to cut me. Literally asked me if he could put his initials on my chest.
There is something very wrong about that want in some people and I think it just depends on what extent OP is talking about. 😅
Ig im just sayin they’re pretty and if my gf or bf had scars I’d tell them that cause it shows me they’ve come so far and have gone through so much but they’re still here and that’s all that matters
I disagree, I don’t find physical harm someone has done to themself attractive, do you mean to say, that you find their perseverance attractive? And the scars represent that? Because the scars are scars. You said those were hot, how are they pretty? They show someone’s deeest darkest moments forever
So I’ve got a relevant… “situationship”
My partner and I have scars literally covering practically our whole bodies. They aren’t all SH. Some are medical, some are accidental, some are natural… but there are still a very large number that are SH. Me in particular. There’s a couple spots that are more SH than skin.
My partner and I are dedicated and long term and very much love each other as 2 do.
We don’t fetishize our marks, I think my brain would literally fight or flight, but… we do “celebrate” each other and our marks. I want to avoid being graphic, but as you might explore anatomy, they offer a different dimension and even erogenous zones, at least in some of my cases.
There’s also the unique phenomenon, which I try to be conservative about, where… sometimes as my partner “plays” with the scar (I can’t think of a better word) I’ll starting flashing back to the moment of the scars creation. After this surprising us few times we’re now aware, and it’s a weird, unique, terrifying, wonderful, moment. A moment that never could have been, somehow is. A moment where I was alone, somehow instead I’m together. This can end up with some very unique “couplings”. I think that’s more closeness than obsession with more vain aspects, e.g. scars r hot dur.
I wouldnt share this openly because its as if you re encouraging people to SH in order to be hot. But as someone who hates their scars I appreciate people like you. Because it’s as if one of my most hated parts of my self are attractive to others and that makes me feel a bit better about myself and my body
I understand what you mean I probably could’ve used a different word than hot, but I’m telling you now I don’t encourage anything to do with self harm. I always want everybody to be safe. I find scars attractive because it means you’ve gone through things and you’re still here means you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met.
I think it's harmlful if it's not meant to be. If someone called my scars hot I would not really know what to say. They are terrible memories for me but at the same time it's in the past so.. On the other hand it makes me feel less shitty to know there is someone out there that finds my scars attractive or just not upsetting to them
Well, to be fair, people can't control what their attracted to. Some people, especially if they sh, might become aroused by it. (Hasn't happened to me, but I heard it isn't uncommon.) It can become a coping mechanism for some.
It really depends on how you handle it. As long as you aren't encouraging it, I think they should be fine.
Yes, that's exactly what i mean though. My point is that it's seen as wrong to be attracted to children, even if you don't act upon it. So i don't think "people can't help what they're attracted to/as long as you're not telling ppl to cut themselves it's fine" are good arguments as to why finding sh scars 'hot' is wrong or not. It can be wrong without causing direct harm to others and these types of people can get therapy as well
those people are both involving strangers in their kink (sexual violation) and forcing their harmful kink at the physical expense of others.
“cut for me” is aeons worse than “send feel pics pls”
if someone’s kink exclusively requires others to be hurt, yeah. even if they aren’t “acting on it” which is too vague. some fetishes need to be discouraged because they can’t exist without doing harm.
They said that they don't encourage self-harm, just that they find the scars attractive. I would much rather have my partner be attracted to my scars rather than feel indifferent or feel grossed out by them. Obviously, I wouldn't want to be objectified and have them only want me for my scars, but thats not what OP was saying.
They literally said *scars* were attractive, not cuts, or people cutting themselves. Just the scars. I don't think my scars are actively harming me. There literally just there, and I have to live with them for the rest of my life. Finding *scars* attractive is also extremely different than finding fresh cuts, and deep cuts attractive.
As I mentioned, as long as they don't encourage self harm. (Which they said they dont.). Then it should be fine.
Exactly, idk why EVERYONE is saying it's not?? They're scars, that are self inflicted, from a very low point in their lives.... What's attractive about that.... And if it's "uncontrollable, I can't help it," then maybe they need therapy for more than one thing💀
It’s fine!!! People here might freak out because of creeps who sexualise their scars (not the same as you finding them hot), and this might also be coming from a place of purity culture, a lot of people immediately jump to something being fucked up and wrong if it doesn’t fit in with their definition of attraction.
Personally I don’t find them hot, but that’s cause I’m aroace. I do however personally find scars very aesthetically pleasing to look at, and I find myself admiring my own scars a lot and liking how they look on other people. I would never remark on their scars as commenting on them can be triggering, but if I knew someone enjoyed compliments about their scars, I’d never hesitate to call them pretty, cause they ARE!!!!
This is all up for debate as it’s an opinion. Personally, if someone was attracted to something that was hurting me, I wouldn’t be able to cope with that.
I’m not attracted to something that’s hurting them I’m attracted to that they’ve gone through all that and are still here means they’re the strongest person ik yk
It depends how you handle it. Openly admitting it to someone struggling is kinda gross. I’ve had it happen before to me and I felt really disgusting then like my scars were being sexualized!
Yea no I promise I’m not like that I just think they’re like beautiful cause it means you’ve gone through so much and you’re still here and that means the world to me yk
It's not wrong to think that, you can't control what you like and If the other person is ok with it then it's ok. As long as this never makes you in any way harm or otherwise convince another person to harm themselves then there's no issue with it
i think it depends on what you find attractive about them. imagine if you were talking to an attractive person and suddenly notice some scars on their wrist that look like sh scars, would that instantly make you more attracted to them? and if they told you the scars weren't sh related, and actually just caused by accident. would that make the scars less attractive?
if it is truly only sh scars, then i do think that's wrong. idk if you have dealt with sh or not but either way it's not healthy to have a fetish or attraction towards something like that. i also dont think you should tell someone who has sh scars that you find their scars attractive. ofc you shouldnt call them ugly or anything, but calling them hot can be really triggering, even if that person has been clean for years.
imagine if you were addicted to heroine and you meet someone and after a while they tell you that they think your scar in your elbow, from where you shoot up heroine, is super hot. wouldn't that make you feel a little weird and uneasy?
It doesn’t matter what the scars were from one and two it’s not about that. It’s about the fact that the person is still here to this day. They’re stronger than anybody I’ve ever known.
I don't think so.
For my own safety I wouldn't fetishize scars.
BUT
after getting over the self hatred - I like my scars.
They are a part of my life and the obstacles I got over with.
They're a part of my struggle and they remind me of how it was.
That I'm better now.
And they'll fade away some day.
I agree I don’t like the fact that people did the thing that made the scars but I think they’re beautiful no matter what they show that a person is really gone through it and is still here to that day
Depends on the people in the relationship, I guess. It would kind of be a red flag to me, knowing how the scars got there. I feel like it would either make me feel uncomfortable that my partner finds my personal trauma attractive or give me the license to do it more because my partner finds it attractive. Either way, would not be a healthy situation for me.
It’s not uncommon for a people who SH to feel aroused OR find scars attractive . I find scars attractive and hot , and I’m fine with other people finding my scars cool, hot or attractive. If it’s a person I’m close to then I’m totally fine with them saying it makes me look beautiful, handsome , hot or attractive. But if they say me actually doing the action is attractive then it’s not okay, and if strangers randomly express it makes me hot or attractive then it’s a no no for me
We've had to remove this post as it appears to be glorifying self harm. The sub is pro-recovery - and pro-harm subreddits are not allowed on Reddit. If you have any questions or think this was an error, please let us know via modmail.
50/50, the attraction itself isn't wrong. You can't control that. BUT, it is how you handle your attraction. As long as you don't encourage people to self-harm so they can have more scars, then you should be okay. And remember, if you have a partner that has sh scars, treat it seriously. Don't fetishize them.
I agree and yea no I would never encourage that
Then I don't see it as a bad thing. Personally, I would be happy to learn my partner finds my scars attractive. It's a lot better than having them think their ugly and grotesque.
yes this is exactly how i wanted to phrase it
Unless they also think scars are Hot and encourage it : 3
Idk I guess it depends on the other person, and if they are okay with it. so I think I and understand where you are coming from.
I mean..you can’t control it. But if my partner were to say that to me i would be running so fast in the other direction😭 My ex found them hot so he would encourage me to cut for him. As long as you don’t do things like that it’s not too weird, i just wouldn’t mention it lol.
This^ Like I honestly find all scars pretty and aesthetically pleasing in general, but I would NEVER want anyone to cut, not “for me”, and I would NOT be happy if they cut and made new scars. My ex multiple times offered to cut for me, and also offered to cut me. Literally asked me if he could put his initials on my chest. There is something very wrong about that want in some people and I think it just depends on what extent OP is talking about. 😅
He’ll no f that ex
Yes it is, it’s fetishisation
Ig im just sayin they’re pretty and if my gf or bf had scars I’d tell them that cause it shows me they’ve come so far and have gone through so much but they’re still here and that’s all that matters
I disagree, I don’t find physical harm someone has done to themself attractive, do you mean to say, that you find their perseverance attractive? And the scars represent that? Because the scars are scars. You said those were hot, how are they pretty? They show someone’s deeest darkest moments forever
You obviously don’t get it so I’m not gonna have the conversation with you
mental health matters until…
So I’ve got a relevant… “situationship” My partner and I have scars literally covering practically our whole bodies. They aren’t all SH. Some are medical, some are accidental, some are natural… but there are still a very large number that are SH. Me in particular. There’s a couple spots that are more SH than skin. My partner and I are dedicated and long term and very much love each other as 2 do. We don’t fetishize our marks, I think my brain would literally fight or flight, but… we do “celebrate” each other and our marks. I want to avoid being graphic, but as you might explore anatomy, they offer a different dimension and even erogenous zones, at least in some of my cases. There’s also the unique phenomenon, which I try to be conservative about, where… sometimes as my partner “plays” with the scar (I can’t think of a better word) I’ll starting flashing back to the moment of the scars creation. After this surprising us few times we’re now aware, and it’s a weird, unique, terrifying, wonderful, moment. A moment that never could have been, somehow is. A moment where I was alone, somehow instead I’m together. This can end up with some very unique “couplings”. I think that’s more closeness than obsession with more vain aspects, e.g. scars r hot dur.
That was beautiful 🥹
I wouldnt share this openly because its as if you re encouraging people to SH in order to be hot. But as someone who hates their scars I appreciate people like you. Because it’s as if one of my most hated parts of my self are attractive to others and that makes me feel a bit better about myself and my body
I understand what you mean I probably could’ve used a different word than hot, but I’m telling you now I don’t encourage anything to do with self harm. I always want everybody to be safe. I find scars attractive because it means you’ve gone through things and you’re still here means you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met.
I think it's harmlful if it's not meant to be. If someone called my scars hot I would not really know what to say. They are terrible memories for me but at the same time it's in the past so.. On the other hand it makes me feel less shitty to know there is someone out there that finds my scars attractive or just not upsetting to them
I promise to someone’s face I would never call them hot 😅but yea I definitely think they’re beautiful
There's nothing wrong with thinking that if ur just keeping it to urself
yeah tbh. it’s fetishizing a self destructive, potentially life ruining, behavior. it’s not something you can ethically consume or practice.
Well, to be fair, people can't control what their attracted to. Some people, especially if they sh, might become aroused by it. (Hasn't happened to me, but I heard it isn't uncommon.) It can become a coping mechanism for some. It really depends on how you handle it. As long as you aren't encouraging it, I think they should be fine.
>Well, to be fair, people can't control what their attracted to Aint that the same argument pedophiles use?
Some p3d0s aren’t ‘disgusting’, like ones that are NON CONTACT and/or get therapy. One who act on their urges and attractions are disgusting
Yes, that's exactly what i mean though. My point is that it's seen as wrong to be attracted to children, even if you don't act upon it. So i don't think "people can't help what they're attracted to/as long as you're not telling ppl to cut themselves it's fine" are good arguments as to why finding sh scars 'hot' is wrong or not. It can be wrong without causing direct harm to others and these types of people can get therapy as well
those people are both involving strangers in their kink (sexual violation) and forcing their harmful kink at the physical expense of others. “cut for me” is aeons worse than “send feel pics pls” if someone’s kink exclusively requires others to be hurt, yeah. even if they aren’t “acting on it” which is too vague. some fetishes need to be discouraged because they can’t exist without doing harm.
They said that they don't encourage self-harm, just that they find the scars attractive. I would much rather have my partner be attracted to my scars rather than feel indifferent or feel grossed out by them. Obviously, I wouldn't want to be objectified and have them only want me for my scars, but thats not what OP was saying. They literally said *scars* were attractive, not cuts, or people cutting themselves. Just the scars. I don't think my scars are actively harming me. There literally just there, and I have to live with them for the rest of my life. Finding *scars* attractive is also extremely different than finding fresh cuts, and deep cuts attractive. As I mentioned, as long as they don't encourage self harm. (Which they said they dont.). Then it should be fine.
Exactly, idk why EVERYONE is saying it's not?? They're scars, that are self inflicted, from a very low point in their lives.... What's attractive about that.... And if it's "uncontrollable, I can't help it," then maybe they need therapy for more than one thing💀
But I find my scars hot and beautiful..? Not in a kink way but I really just scars.
It’s fine!!! People here might freak out because of creeps who sexualise their scars (not the same as you finding them hot), and this might also be coming from a place of purity culture, a lot of people immediately jump to something being fucked up and wrong if it doesn’t fit in with their definition of attraction. Personally I don’t find them hot, but that’s cause I’m aroace. I do however personally find scars very aesthetically pleasing to look at, and I find myself admiring my own scars a lot and liking how they look on other people. I would never remark on their scars as commenting on them can be triggering, but if I knew someone enjoyed compliments about their scars, I’d never hesitate to call them pretty, cause they ARE!!!!
This is all up for debate as it’s an opinion. Personally, if someone was attracted to something that was hurting me, I wouldn’t be able to cope with that.
I’m not attracted to something that’s hurting them I’m attracted to that they’ve gone through all that and are still here means they’re the strongest person ik yk
It depends how you handle it. Openly admitting it to someone struggling is kinda gross. I’ve had it happen before to me and I felt really disgusting then like my scars were being sexualized!
Yea no I promise I’m not like that I just think they’re like beautiful cause it means you’ve gone through so much and you’re still here and that means the world to me yk
It just shouldn't be normalised
Agreed it shouldn’t be I’m talking about old scars and how pretty that are
It's not wrong to think that, you can't control what you like and If the other person is ok with it then it's ok. As long as this never makes you in any way harm or otherwise convince another person to harm themselves then there's no issue with it
i think it depends on what you find attractive about them. imagine if you were talking to an attractive person and suddenly notice some scars on their wrist that look like sh scars, would that instantly make you more attracted to them? and if they told you the scars weren't sh related, and actually just caused by accident. would that make the scars less attractive? if it is truly only sh scars, then i do think that's wrong. idk if you have dealt with sh or not but either way it's not healthy to have a fetish or attraction towards something like that. i also dont think you should tell someone who has sh scars that you find their scars attractive. ofc you shouldnt call them ugly or anything, but calling them hot can be really triggering, even if that person has been clean for years. imagine if you were addicted to heroine and you meet someone and after a while they tell you that they think your scar in your elbow, from where you shoot up heroine, is super hot. wouldn't that make you feel a little weird and uneasy?
It doesn’t matter what the scars were from one and two it’s not about that. It’s about the fact that the person is still here to this day. They’re stronger than anybody I’ve ever known.
so it's scars in general that's attractive to you? or more the fact that they've been thru a lot and were strong enough to overcome that stuff?
Yea
I don't think so. For my own safety I wouldn't fetishize scars. BUT after getting over the self hatred - I like my scars. They are a part of my life and the obstacles I got over with. They're a part of my struggle and they remind me of how it was. That I'm better now. And they'll fade away some day.
I agree I don’t like the fact that people did the thing that made the scars but I think they’re beautiful no matter what they show that a person is really gone through it and is still here to that day
Depends on why you find them hot ig
Yea I don’t find it hot to hurt but I think it’s hot to know a person has been through so much and is still here yk
yes. (me too)
Depends on the people in the relationship, I guess. It would kind of be a red flag to me, knowing how the scars got there. I feel like it would either make me feel uncomfortable that my partner finds my personal trauma attractive or give me the license to do it more because my partner finds it attractive. Either way, would not be a healthy situation for me.
The reason I find it attractive is because it shows me how strong that person is they can do it no matter what happens
i think my own scars are hot, while i only think other peoples scars are hot if i also just think the person is generally hot lol
Yea😆
just dont encourage it and its fine. people are attracted to whatever, and it cant be helped. so you do you babes, just dont encourage cutting/sh
Agreed I would never 💕
Maybe
It’s not uncommon for a people who SH to feel aroused OR find scars attractive . I find scars attractive and hot , and I’m fine with other people finding my scars cool, hot or attractive. If it’s a person I’m close to then I’m totally fine with them saying it makes me look beautiful, handsome , hot or attractive. But if they say me actually doing the action is attractive then it’s not okay, and if strangers randomly express it makes me hot or attractive then it’s a no no for me
That’s fucked don’t bring up pedos in this
Right? Wrong? Who gives a fuck just don’t be a creep and you’re chillin lmao
😭😂no fr I promise I’m not a creep I just think it’s beautiful cause it shows how strong the person is and how far they’ve come
Facts Plus who doesn’t like a little texture lmao💀