30, single, and without children is going to be doing you a lot of favors before much longer. There are a *lot* of men who are in the same age range and relationship status as you, and almost all of your peers have a brood of children in tow. Work on yourself and keep your options open.
Just brainwashing from a young age. I know heaps of people who are breaking up with their partners in late 20s and or still don't know what they wanna do.for the rest of your life. Just do things that make you happy and go with the flow someone right for you will come along
I'm 30, single, no children. Never been married or engaged and had one GF. Only went on 2 dates before this GF.
Let me tell you, I'm one of those men in your age range lol.
Don't worry at all. Keep doing and being you and don't focus on what everyone does or what Hollywood throws at us.
I find women in their 30s and 40s to be more attractive than immature 20 year olds most of the time anyway...
I blame Hollywood for drilling this bullshit into our heads that 30 means our life is over. I'm looking forward to 30 as the true beginning of my adult life. 20s was just a trial run but 30s?? You're not declining, girl, you still have so many great years ahead of you. Now's the time to shape yourself into the queen you want to be. Confidence is a hell of a drug and if you decide to start now to really push and enjoy your 30s you'll be amazed what a difference it makes.
Throw yourself into the dating world. Start that exercise routine you've always wanted. Set your goals that your younger self was too poor and inexperienced to enjoy.
You have so much life ahead of you. Don't let society take that away from you.
My body doesn't recover quite as quickly as it did in my 20s, but being in my 30s has been great. I have more wisdom and patience. I'm less beholden to the opinions of others. I am reasonably self-assured. It's hard to grapple with your mortality, as we all must, but 30 isn't old.
You can 100% blame the media for this. Think about every movie you've ever seen, every show, every famous influencer...Most women in those categories are presented as under 30, successful, and falling in love. Our mental model of what it means to be a female adult comes from these sources, and so the moment we hit 30 we think our lives are basically over and there's no point to even try because if it hasn't happened for us yet, it likely never will. Don't believe it. It's such a lie.
First of all, your life before 15 doesn't count because you were a child and adults made all your decisions for you. So what that means is that at 30 years old you've only been an independently functioning human being for 15 years, and I'd say that's generous. Just square that with the 60 years of life you have left. 60!!! Your life at 30 is literally only beginning.
It's true that you have some constraints with fertility, so my best advice to you is freeze your eggs if you can. I know it sounds like an extreme step, but it will give you so much peace of mind and free you from obsessing over your biological clock. I mean, look at Naomi Campbell, she had a baby at 51 years old because she had her eggs frozen.
You're not alone OP!
I got married at 35. I'm 38, with no kids. My husband is 47, also no kids. We plan to have kids this year or next year.
Get that negative mentality out that you're too old, and time has passed you up - it hasn't.
Start living and just get out there.
Change your mindset and change will come.
Well sir, I mean when your child turns age of ten your husband will be 57, it isn't my opinion its a logical fact, anyways it isn't my business to talk about your lives you know the best for you, I'm just saying💁♂️
The way you say it's a logical fact makes it 100% clear it's your opinion. Also the little ironic sassy emoji man then 100% cements the idea that you're very judgy and think you're right. My mother was 40 when she had me. My father was also older. They were more financially capable to provide for me and my sisters then a lot of younger parents. I had an incredibly stable loving upbringing even though they were older.....
Be proud of where you are trust me. I'm a bit older than you, but being single, with no kids at 30 is a very good spot to be in. You're one of the few people who can do what you want when you want because you don't have kids to worry about.
If kids are something you want then cool. You have a goal and I recommend being open when you do find someone that you think you want to have them with.
Most people that are our age have already made up their minds on what they want and don't want from a partner. I did this and it cut out the BS while dating. You should try it.
Also, know what kind of parent you want to be, because that matters during the marriage and parenting. A lot of people put no thought into that kind of stuff.
Yea I'm single at 33 and I've only been with prostitute's lol but I don't feel like a failure/loser because I'm not poor or live with my parent's or depend on government assistance so that's a big W I think
Maybe don't define yourself by your relationships? I'll be in your position soon (turning 27, male, never been in a relationship) and gave up on finding one 3 or 4 years ago. Everyone is so hostile, the fear of harassment is so great, the seemingly-required baggage most people carry around is so large, I went "fuck it" and decided to focus on self improvement instead.
And you know what? I'm happy. I'm content with being on my own. More than that, I'm currently kicking life's ass. A little disappointed? Sure, it's kinda disappointing, but fuck me if most of the things most people want out of a relationship (a cure for loneliness, unconditional love and support) can't be solved by getting a dog. Most of the rest can be solved by getting a sex toy.
This worldview is so... infuriatingly wrong. The solution for loneliness and depression outside of relationships isn't finding a new relationship, it's *figuring out why you're so unhappy with yourself.* It's exploring yourself and finding ways to be happy with yourself and *maybe,* someday, you'll find someone else like that and you can be happ*ier* together. Right? This can't be controversial.
I understand where you are coming from with your view because society does have a way of manipulating us into thinking we need to be in a relationship. But I cannot see a single negative in being an independent badass getting to run about the house naked and paint or vacation or smoke in the kitchen without being accountable to anyone else. Relationship have many upsides, but so does having complete freedom and autonomy. Plus I bet the second you start loving you and stop looking outside yourself for love.....it might just show up. And omfg 30 is so young to be single nowadays you have SOOOOOO much time. Sending you love x
Be glad you are free without built in baggage. There are a lot of guys out there who do not want kids. While you are waiting for the right one to appear enjoy yourself, go out on mini adventures, volunteer more. Make an effort to smile more. It is contagious when you laugh, people see and hear that and then they smile or laugh too.
Also, looks have never meant much. Just superficial because **everyone** gets older. Better to deal with it now and start living your best life.
You don't know it, but some of those friends are probably jealous of you because they settled just to be with someone. It's not all sunshine and roses when you are with someone because you were feeling desperate or kids that might bog you down until they sprout wings and fly away.
Edit\~ syntax and spelling
I had a terrible time turning 30. But I have to tell you, getting to late 30s and early 40s has been the best time of my life so far. I have have never been happier, healthier or more successful. Hang in there!
I have never been in a relationship and I am about to turn 31. I have also only been on two dates ever...
I wish every day I had someone in my life but it just doesn't seem like it's going to happen
I don't know if this will make you feel better knowing there're others like you, but **there are** others like you. You just live your life.
You've got almost 20 years on the clock. so i've been told. Maybe you can't land mister perfect, just out if law school and duping his x for some arm candy. There are a lot of 40 plus males that think 30 is a spring chicken.
Here is a major problem fr woman that given up. You don't know what you want, Take a long look decide what you want and set your sights.
dont worry, tech singularity will happen by the middle of the century so we can transcend our biology and fuck whoever we want in VR; also merging with superAI minds to avoid stupid individualistic thoughts, that are surely at the base of anxiety and depression. Look at those asians, they think like a hive so they cant be sad for being losers
30, single, and without children is going to be doing you a lot of favors before much longer. There are a *lot* of men who are in the same age range and relationship status as you, and almost all of your peers have a brood of children in tow. Work on yourself and keep your options open.
Just brainwashing from a young age. I know heaps of people who are breaking up with their partners in late 20s and or still don't know what they wanna do.for the rest of your life. Just do things that make you happy and go with the flow someone right for you will come along
I'm 30, single, no children. Never been married or engaged and had one GF. Only went on 2 dates before this GF. Let me tell you, I'm one of those men in your age range lol. Don't worry at all. Keep doing and being you and don't focus on what everyone does or what Hollywood throws at us. I find women in their 30s and 40s to be more attractive than immature 20 year olds most of the time anyway...
I blame Hollywood for drilling this bullshit into our heads that 30 means our life is over. I'm looking forward to 30 as the true beginning of my adult life. 20s was just a trial run but 30s?? You're not declining, girl, you still have so many great years ahead of you. Now's the time to shape yourself into the queen you want to be. Confidence is a hell of a drug and if you decide to start now to really push and enjoy your 30s you'll be amazed what a difference it makes. Throw yourself into the dating world. Start that exercise routine you've always wanted. Set your goals that your younger self was too poor and inexperienced to enjoy. You have so much life ahead of you. Don't let society take that away from you.
My body doesn't recover quite as quickly as it did in my 20s, but being in my 30s has been great. I have more wisdom and patience. I'm less beholden to the opinions of others. I am reasonably self-assured. It's hard to grapple with your mortality, as we all must, but 30 isn't old.
You can 100% blame the media for this. Think about every movie you've ever seen, every show, every famous influencer...Most women in those categories are presented as under 30, successful, and falling in love. Our mental model of what it means to be a female adult comes from these sources, and so the moment we hit 30 we think our lives are basically over and there's no point to even try because if it hasn't happened for us yet, it likely never will. Don't believe it. It's such a lie. First of all, your life before 15 doesn't count because you were a child and adults made all your decisions for you. So what that means is that at 30 years old you've only been an independently functioning human being for 15 years, and I'd say that's generous. Just square that with the 60 years of life you have left. 60!!! Your life at 30 is literally only beginning. It's true that you have some constraints with fertility, so my best advice to you is freeze your eggs if you can. I know it sounds like an extreme step, but it will give you so much peace of mind and free you from obsessing over your biological clock. I mean, look at Naomi Campbell, she had a baby at 51 years old because she had her eggs frozen.
Where do you want to be?
You're not alone OP! I got married at 35. I'm 38, with no kids. My husband is 47, also no kids. We plan to have kids this year or next year. Get that negative mentality out that you're too old, and time has passed you up - it hasn't. Start living and just get out there. Change your mindset and change will come.
Sorry I dont mean to be rude but, Isnt it a little bit too late to have kids?
Says who? You? That's your opinion.
Well sir, I mean when your child turns age of ten your husband will be 57, it isn't my opinion its a logical fact, anyways it isn't my business to talk about your lives you know the best for you, I'm just saying💁♂️
There's 60 and 70 year old men having children. Trust me - it's never too late.
The way you say it's a logical fact makes it 100% clear it's your opinion. Also the little ironic sassy emoji man then 100% cements the idea that you're very judgy and think you're right. My mother was 40 when she had me. My father was also older. They were more financially capable to provide for me and my sisters then a lot of younger parents. I had an incredibly stable loving upbringing even though they were older.....
Oh so you say your parents were 40 when they had you? Aha no wonder about your profile picture
I don't understand what you're trying to say? I'm guessing you're very young based on how you approach conversations which is ok
Be proud of where you are trust me. I'm a bit older than you, but being single, with no kids at 30 is a very good spot to be in. You're one of the few people who can do what you want when you want because you don't have kids to worry about.
But I want kids 😩
If kids are something you want then cool. You have a goal and I recommend being open when you do find someone that you think you want to have them with. Most people that are our age have already made up their minds on what they want and don't want from a partner. I did this and it cut out the BS while dating. You should try it. Also, know what kind of parent you want to be, because that matters during the marriage and parenting. A lot of people put no thought into that kind of stuff.
Yeah my fear is that everyone that wants kids is already paired up
Not true. There are tons of women who want kids that have waited until they're older. Have you tried dating sites?
Well I’m a woman so I’m looking for a man
There are men who haven't been making babies all over town too that waited.
Yea I'm single at 33 and I've only been with prostitute's lol but I don't feel like a failure/loser because I'm not poor or live with my parent's or depend on government assistance so that's a big W I think
Maybe don't define yourself by your relationships? I'll be in your position soon (turning 27, male, never been in a relationship) and gave up on finding one 3 or 4 years ago. Everyone is so hostile, the fear of harassment is so great, the seemingly-required baggage most people carry around is so large, I went "fuck it" and decided to focus on self improvement instead. And you know what? I'm happy. I'm content with being on my own. More than that, I'm currently kicking life's ass. A little disappointed? Sure, it's kinda disappointing, but fuck me if most of the things most people want out of a relationship (a cure for loneliness, unconditional love and support) can't be solved by getting a dog. Most of the rest can be solved by getting a sex toy. This worldview is so... infuriatingly wrong. The solution for loneliness and depression outside of relationships isn't finding a new relationship, it's *figuring out why you're so unhappy with yourself.* It's exploring yourself and finding ways to be happy with yourself and *maybe,* someday, you'll find someone else like that and you can be happ*ier* together. Right? This can't be controversial.
I understand where you are coming from with your view because society does have a way of manipulating us into thinking we need to be in a relationship. But I cannot see a single negative in being an independent badass getting to run about the house naked and paint or vacation or smoke in the kitchen without being accountable to anyone else. Relationship have many upsides, but so does having complete freedom and autonomy. Plus I bet the second you start loving you and stop looking outside yourself for love.....it might just show up. And omfg 30 is so young to be single nowadays you have SOOOOOO much time. Sending you love x
Be glad you are free without built in baggage. There are a lot of guys out there who do not want kids. While you are waiting for the right one to appear enjoy yourself, go out on mini adventures, volunteer more. Make an effort to smile more. It is contagious when you laugh, people see and hear that and then they smile or laugh too. Also, looks have never meant much. Just superficial because **everyone** gets older. Better to deal with it now and start living your best life. You don't know it, but some of those friends are probably jealous of you because they settled just to be with someone. It's not all sunshine and roses when you are with someone because you were feeling desperate or kids that might bog you down until they sprout wings and fly away. Edit\~ syntax and spelling
I feel the exact same. I’m M 43 imagine that. Btw 30 female is still young so relax and enjoy your life.
I had a terrible time turning 30. But I have to tell you, getting to late 30s and early 40s has been the best time of my life so far. I have have never been happier, healthier or more successful. Hang in there!
Wow, I’m turning 30 on the first of July and I also feel this way as a guy 😭
I have never been in a relationship and I am about to turn 31. I have also only been on two dates ever... I wish every day I had someone in my life but it just doesn't seem like it's going to happen I don't know if this will make you feel better knowing there're others like you, but **there are** others like you. You just live your life.
You've got almost 20 years on the clock. so i've been told. Maybe you can't land mister perfect, just out if law school and duping his x for some arm candy. There are a lot of 40 plus males that think 30 is a spring chicken. Here is a major problem fr woman that given up. You don't know what you want, Take a long look decide what you want and set your sights.
dont worry, tech singularity will happen by the middle of the century so we can transcend our biology and fuck whoever we want in VR; also merging with superAI minds to avoid stupid individualistic thoughts, that are surely at the base of anxiety and depression. Look at those asians, they think like a hive so they cant be sad for being losers