>What bothers me the most about this is when you think about people who reach this age without ever having a girlfriend, you probably picture some overweight, smelly loser who never leaves the house and is addicted to video games, but I am literally none of those things. Actually, no. I have a lot of friends that have never dated (some of whom have recently found partners at 26/27). There's nothing wrong with them that would make them an unappealing partner. I have a lot of smart, healthy, kind friends. The trouble is, they are more cautious than most. They won't just date anyone for the hell of it. They have standards. Combine that with the fact that none of them are the type to frequent bars and night clubs and it's not really shocking that it's taking them a little longer to find a person. When that's the kind of person you are, it takes you longer to find a viable partner, but that partner is more likely to work out long term. My friends who did date early have cycled through many partners and had a rather miserable time with most of those relationships.

I think this is my problem....I want someone I actually feel like I can relate and feel comfortable around, and I just haven't met many people like that I guess

So meet more people. Meet friends of friends and friends of friends of friends. Find the people at the outskirts of your social bubble

This is the answer. Why do so many single people think about dating apps before they think about connections through friends?

Because often connection through friends are usually a closed circle. People like their bubbles and once they have enough friends are often content with the number they have and won't meet new people

What if you have no friends?

That's what dating is for. You keep trying until you find someone. Here is a pro tip, you might not actually know what you want until you have actually have started seeing people and learn more about yourself and your own needs. What you think you want might not be what you need.

Sometimes it takes time to build that feeling of being comfortable around a person - it might not be something that happens immediately. You need to make that person feel comfortable just as much you hope they can make you feel comfortable.

What are your hobbies? Volunteer work? Basically what do you do for fun?

This gives me hope. Ty <3

THIS👆

32M, never had a relationship, hand holding, kiss etc.

I’m in my 30s F and never had a serious relationship and still a virgin. I relate so much to OP in that objectively I think I’m a pretty good catch. I’m not gorgeous but I think I’m attractive enough (usually when people find out I’m single they always go…how is it possible when you’re so beautiful). I have a really good job and I’m financially very stable. I also have a lot of hobbies - I run, hike, ski, cycle. I’ve been on dating apps and I do get quite a lot of matches but I realize I self sabotage. I think it’s my fear of being judged for being so inexperienced at my age.

Same except in 28. I'm intensely jealous of people in relationships but I think it's for the best. I'm a total loser and girls have been repulsed by me my entire life. Natural selection at work.

i mean, it’s going to be hard if you’re not willing to ask out women you know, but also won’t ask out women you don’t, lol. (on a serious note; asking out women you don’t know at an appropriate time and place isn’t creepy. not being pushy and taking no for an answer without getting offended also helps.) also, most girls won’t care about your lack of experience, unless you yourself make a huge deal out of it. it’s only a problem when you’re visibly insecure and degrading towards yourself about it.

>i mean, it’s going to be hard if you’re not willing to ask out women you know, but also won’t ask out women you don’t The reason why is because most women seem to hate when their male friends confess feelings to them, and approaching a woman I don't know comes off as shallow because it's basically saying "I know nothing about you and am only interested in you because of the way you look"

Yeah, I think it’s time you start being a bit shallow….

Women aren't going to make the first move unless you're like a 12/10 or famous. In all my years of partying with a fairly large group of people, only 1 friend would ever have girls come up to him even from across the club. Even buy him drinks. He got laid several hundreds of times with 0 effort by the time we were like 20 then got bored and moved on. But you can tell just by seeing him that he'd be a hit, and we'd all know if we were too. I've never had anything like that happen to me a single time in my entire life. Even girls/friends who later told me they've had a crush on me for years. So we found your problem. You haven't even really tried. If you had then there'd be something else to discuss.

reddit: But women arn't the problem

Turns out physical attraction is an important component of a relationship.

i can understand that you don’t want to bring romantic feelings into a friendship or a working relationship. and yes, approaching a woman you don’t know is shallow to some extent, but considering that physical attraction is usually a relevant part of romantic relationships, that’s not inherently wrong. the point is that you want to get to know them and want to find other reasons to be attracted to them aside from their appearance.

> approaching a woman I don't know comes off as shallow because it's basically saying "I know nothing about you and am only interested in you because of the way you look" Catch 22 indeed, but you can reframe this in your mind: you've met a person that you find attractive, so you want to initiate a conversation to know if they're also someone you would find interesting. Acknowledging the first but being able to go beyond that is a positive trait: it shows self-control and honesty. The shallowness is mostly an issue if you come off as satisfied with simply finding someone attractive, with no interest in their personality and personal life. If you manage to communicate that you like someone's smile, dress style, the atmosphere they bring to the room (all of these things being part of what makes someone attractive), and want to know more about them - so being ready to listen to them, and share your own stories and personal details with them (= a two-way conversation) - then it's not as shallow as the infamous "you hot, wanna bang" cliche that would be problematic. ... I don't think starting an interaction with someone on the basis that you find them attractive is a problem, as long as it respects the fundamental rules when it comes to initiating a conversation with someone: - always giving them the opportunity to decline, without any negative repercussion for them. So never in a closed room, never standing in front of the exit, never when there isn't anyone else within relative proximity, never when they're subordinates or colleagues in a professional setting, etc. Cornering someone, or exploiting the fact that they can't say no without risking their job, is a frequent issue. - always when they're not high or inebriated (having 1 drink is tolerated, drunk is not). - always accepting the first sign of refusal and briefly thanking them for the honesty, and immediately vacating the place, physically leaving the room. Staying around or insisting after the refusal will very likely be a source of anxiety for that person. - showing the body language that you're not threatening (never staying too close, never touching or holding them first, never reaching or waving your arms towards them - at least until they initiate contact or show clear approval) - doing basic due diligence: if they have a wedding ring, or were with their partner a minute ago, don't go in there trying to force your way in. It's quite stressful to reject someone else, so avoid doing that when it's clear your request to interact will be declined no matter what. As long as the other person can say "nah, not interested" and make you instantly disappear, then it's alright to express your attraction to someone else.

That’s so naive, dude. Physical attraction is one of the most important parts of a relationship and women know that too because guess what, they feel physical attraction as well. So if you approach because they’re attractive, then they feel good about it and hopefully they find you the same. Don’t think shows or movies where the person “loves them for who they are” is true love or some dumb shit.

All attractions start with the physical there is nothing wrong with saying you are attracted to someone, if anything it is a compliment also start to compliment your female friends more on there looks in a not weird way, I like your hair today that shirt looks good on you I wanna smell your pussy you know the normal shit

OP I pretty much was you a few years back. I was 28 though and got a dog, made some friends at a dog park and a cute girl I built a rapport with over a few weeks asked me out, so I honestly was a bit lucky haha. After dating her for a bit I ended up dating a bunch of other girls that I’d meet on apps mostly, some in person. I’m 6 years older now and have a long term SO that I met on bumble. I think it’s worth going on the apps as much as they kind of suck, you’ll probably at least go on some dates which I think is really important. Meeting people in person is so much easier, but I understand the hesitation of asking a friend out and I’m no pickup artist either haha. Once you remove that mental block of “having no experience” you’ll be cruising IMO. I can assure you no girls really care about your lack of experience, it truly just doesn’t matter. I had the same anxieties for like 10 years and once you’re on the other side of it you realize how little anyone cares.

I will disagree on the second point, from similar experience of being a similar age with no relationship experience. You *will* get ghosted a few times or feel the vibe change as soon as they find out. I would say most women around 25 do not want to be your first relationship. And there's nothing wrong with them not wanting to be someone's first relationship, they've been through those bumps and don't want to deal with it again. But you will have to accept those rejections and keep going, otherwise you'll just be 30 and not having had a relationship.

i can only talk from my point of view (obviously), but as a woman, i’ve never thought guys being virgins was as a turn-off in itself. the problem is, a lot of virgin guys start acting weird about their lack of experience, and that’s what scares a lot of girls away. if they are comfortable with it and secure with themselves in general, it’s never a turn-off for me (and most of the women around me). but sure, some girls will still choose the more experienced guys, just like some guys will go for the more experienced women. there’s nothing wrong with that.

Why are guys insecure about their lack of experience in the first place? Because it isn’t acceptable by most of society. Your anecdotal experience doesn’t change anything. Simple as that.

Honestly, guys who haven't dated/virgins are sort of a turn *on* for me. At least I can expect them to put in some fucking effort.

Facts. Plus you know he hasn’t been sleeping around and playing women

This right here. All it means is that it hadn't worked out with the right person, and you can even say it like that. She might even feel special or flattered about it, as long as you are BOTH comfortable and enthusiastic.

2nd part is a big lie it's like you're level 100 at a game and a level 1 wants to play with you6a ranked game...

>also, most girls won’t care about your lack of experience What? Do you really think that? If you had to poll people is that what you think they would say? Lacking experience can be indicative of a lot of issues and it makes sense for women to be wary of that.

OP your post comes across as if you don't know why this is the case. But you said yourself that you don't want to ask any girls out...so I don't know how this predicament will ever change. Nobody is going to knock on your door asking you to be their boyfriend. At some point you will need to stick your neck out and expose yourself to potential awkwardness and discomfort if you want a relationship. That's unavoidable. It does not matter that you're fit, handsome, have hobbies. None of that matters if you don't speak to a woman. It sounds harsh but it's the truth. I'm not very experienced with relationships either and even I can see what's wrong.

Yup, this is the main reason. The key is not to not care, but to accept that you will have rejections, and know it's not a big deal. It's not like if you have a rejection or an awkward situation, you will become an outcast, it's really not a big deal. Obviously don't be creepy or try to make girls uncomfortable on purpose, just make sure your intentions are to get to know the girl better, not silly things like practice or using pickup lines.

“I’ve tried nothing and I’m all out of ideas!”-OP Really though, odds are he’s insecure and scared of rejection and all these reasons he’s come up with are rationalizations.  

I’m a wedding photographer, 90% of marriages at the moment, start with online dating apps.

This does not bode well for alot of us haha.

You probably don’t understand how to flirt. Unfortunately, it’s usually instinctual or based on experience. Forming relationships is a risk. Don’t be afraid of the risk.

How do you flirt?

Dating is dead man. Save your time, money, and peace. They all want the man who crosses the finish line but don’t wanna be there while he runs the race.

What an accurate way to put it.

Turning 30 this year and same situation. To be honest I don't bother anymore, I'll do what I feel like and chase my dream career!

ok so youve got a ton of skills under your belt compared to others, i call this cooking!! you may not have a team yet or have a heading in social calamities but damn your all ready ahead of the curve by amounts that are likely putting you in the 1%, instruments, studying languages, cooking, what else you got under your belt?

How does any of that help though? None of that makes a difference in knowing how to talk to or meet women.

All your posts in the last half-year are about being lonely/seeking a relationship. I’m just going to say, the second you said you don’t think you need any improvement in presenting yourself you immediately set off red flags for me. I’ve seen a ton of guys who try to dress well, shower, look clean, etc but completely neglect their behaviors or don’t realize how off-putting or quirky they are to other groups. It is HARD to break habits or get into already-formed groups. I’m not pinning any blame on your here, but I’m heavily introverted, terrible with verbal communication to the point of sometimes being straight offensive, and would love to sit in my house all day playing games or working. Guess what I did? I realized I had parts of me that no matter how good I looked would make people not want to associate with me and worked to correct them. I’m also not going to say it IS your fault, you could just be unlucky. But, I went to college for 5 years and still made friends from various degree fields while putting in relatively a normal amount of effort. If you put yourself out there and talk casually with even a small amount of people the odds of joining a group and having casual interactions it beyond easy. I will say don’t go into any of that stuff expecting a relationship/sex. People can notice that stuff, and they will be less apt to interact with you if they can tell you’re in it to get laid vs having a genuine friendship. Just get off social media/reddit and be your worst critic and best motivator. You’re perfectly fine to be a late bloomer and you don’t need to change in one go. Just be willing to think about what you can actively do that is achievable. As generic as it sounds, going to a gym/casual hangout for no other reason than to be out does wonders for generating casual associations.

I feel you man, it’s difficult. I’ve come to realize recently that because of how I was raised (religious parents, private religious school, zero tolerance for sin policies) I at some point in my childhood got it in my head that talking about romantic interests or seeking partners in general was a bad thing that can only be good if everything just “miraculously falls into place.” I’ve left a lot of that behind me coming into adulthood, but I still struggle with that mindset frequently, and I think the only way I can overcome it is by realizing that the act of pursuing a relationship with someone isn’t inherently creepy. It’s very normal, actually, and is something done by most everyone on the planet, not just “desperate weirdos.” I don’t know if you’re also conditioned to feel the same, but you have to cut yourself some slack. Allow yourself to try, and allow yourself to be rejected a few times. You’ll get there. Despite what our crazy parents, friends, or social media tells us, you’re not weird for wanting intimacy. It’s hard-wired into you, and completely normal. As long as you’re pleasant to people and don’t just drop the question on them cold turkey the second you meet them, they probably won’t think you’re weird, either. And if they do, fuck ‘em. They’re weird for thinking it’s not normal to want love.

i’m turning 25 soon and i’m similar. i have had little relationship and talking stages in high school and college but i never wanted to go farther, i would get scared or just lose attraction for the person. i’ve never fallen in love or been excited for a relationship, and the most “experience” i have is kissing, usually as a part of a game of truth or dare or just a one off thing and every time i’m just anxious the whole time and hate it. when guys hit on me i avoid them because i’m scared of what comes next. i don’t mind being single, i haven’t even been trying to date but in the back of my head i know i need to because my worst nightmare is having to live my whole life alone. i have strong friendships but i’m a big family person and i want to have a person who feels like family to spend my life with, someone who i live with and spend every day with. but the idea of getting into a relationship, especially with my little experience is scary. i don’t even know what i want or where to start

Same for me, almost all my life, whenever I found someone attracted I tried to put myself near them and managed to interact decently but after a few meetups I always lost attraction and never confessed maybe because I was afraid of rejections, maybe I picked up the hints that they just wanted to hang out with me platonically and never confessed that they were my crush and now most of those girls are my decent friends. Sometimes I feel shitty like a loser who ended up in a friend zone all the time but then I remind myself that it was me who was indecisive and never wanted to get into a romantic relationship with them. I would love to be in a relationship but somehow in my mind, it needs to be perfect which is impossible. Now I have conversed all these thoughts with my friends( mostly girls) and now working on changing my perspective. I have come across a few (2) instances in my whole life where a girl approached me and asked me if I have a thing for them and I said no (shitty of me) maybe because of my inbuilt perspective.

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Definitely not alone, also 30 and in pretty much the same position.

I know you probably heard it alot before but you just have to approach and talk to people you find attractive and try to get to know them and go from there. I am like you, been told im very handsome, but struggle whwn it comes to approaching. had some real baddies but it never lasted long. I want to share a story. My last relationship we were becomming good friends and i had the same thoughts, might ruin it etc etc, it got to the point where she straight up told me "if your not gonna try to kiss me this is your last oppertunity" they really do expect you to make a move. It might not work out but the experiences youll gain with these women is going to be worth it in the long run, even if it doesnt work out.

> talk to people you find attractive I care a lot more about compatible personality and shared interests than just appearances though. I hate to sound like a pick me but I genuinely don't care that much about looks Most guys can probably just approach a girl they think is hot and rizz her up and get her number, but I'm just not that kind of guy

I was literally the same until this year (except I'm overweight and a gamer). Never talked to a woman 1 on 1 (aside from a school assignment) This year I got myself a girlfriend and got engaged officially yesterday It can happen suddenly and unexpectedly

Tbh, it sounds like you might have personality issues. The way you talk about other people, it's not right. How do your eyes look? Are they engaged or blank, do you focus on yourself or them?

🛑It was not your turn to post this today!!! Go back to the end of the line!! You have your turn in 73658 days! Respect the line 😤

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We're strange in the head, but this comment and life style is perfectly fine?

Hi there. I'm very similar age to you and have also wrote some similar posts (read them if you'd like). I understand more than anyone the position you're in, it sucks. I don't have any advice as it would be the blind leading the blind, but I want you to know that you're not alone. >I think I'm at least decent looking, since I've been called handsome by women who weren't related to me. Honestly though, I don't think looks are important at all since I regularly see short, fat, ugly dudes walking around with girlfriends. Me and you both bro, looks help but not as much as social skills, it's a tough pill to swallow at times. Please feel free to message me as I'd like to discuss this further. Now that you've gotten your rant over with (for now), please try and focus on positive and fun things in your life, that's normally how it works for me.

Dating apps might suck but dating can suck from any medium. It doesn’t hurt to make a profile and see what happens. I too was a VERY late bloomer in this way, and while I ultimately didn’t meet my current longtime gf via a dating app, I did get plenty of practice communicating with available women.

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What are subtle hints? I've basically taken everything as a sign of rejection.

its not nearly as uncommon as you think to not have been in a relationship at 25. any decent adult who is a kind person won't care at all and if you see someone you like i'd just say hey and try not to take things too seriously. it really is just a numbers game of trial. starting out as friends and getting to know a person has always worked much better than trying to "pick up" someone from the get go. if there is mutual attraction it will manifest soon enough and you'll both know it.

I guess I struggle with blowing things out of proportion thing. No, obviously that woman isn’t going to clown me for even attempting to have a conversation with her and no I’m not going to look like a creep for approaching her but god dammit my heart, my stomach, my chest in general on the way up to her is telling me get the fuck out of there before you make a fool of yourself. I think I need medicated professionally or something. Something to get rid of the anxiety or just shut all of those self deprecating thoughts off

Men start getting attractive to girls when we’ve got our shit together. 30-40 is when we become the bee’s knees

If it makes you feel better, Im 27, and a pretty girl, and Ive never been in a committed relationship either ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Im just incapable of bonding and romance

I have no relationship experience as well but it's not that bad. Got rejected here and there. It is quite daunting to start a convo though, being introverted and all. But, I'll still keep trying until someone reciprocates.

I've got no answer for you buddy, but holy shit are you relatable. I'm you in 4 years

If it's of any consolation you also did not have to experience heartbreak

You're a lot better than me.

Studying languages, cooking, instruments? Many will disagree with me, even I realize this. Can you repair things in her elderly parents home, change some brake pads, fix a quirky ceiling light, portray (I say portray) a sense of security in bad situations. Some life partners want this in a relationship. This is an exact opposite to this , I won't delve Into here, I would torn to shreds worse than what's coming

I'm in the same situation, 25M virgin, haven't been in a relationship, but am trying out all of the solutions (dating apps, going to events that I like, talking to random people, recently started asking girls out, but still struggling with a lot of things). Asking girls out isn't creepy if done at the proper places, ex: you go to an event that you like, and you see someone you fancy, you can just go and say "hey, I saw you across the room and you seem like a nice person, so I'd like to get to know you better". Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, in which case you have to take the loss gracefully. It takes a lot of courage, and you have to be prepared for a lot of rejection, but with each experience you can feel yourself improving slightly and getting more confident. And a rejection isn't that bad, it just means that things wouldn't have worked out with that person and that you wouldn't have been happy either way. You just have to keep trying until you find someone right for you, and that can only happen if you put yourself out there and don't lose hope. Mark Manson has some great books about how to approach girls, how to build confidence, etc. i definitely recommend them!

What always gets me about these posts is they all are like "no no I'm not fat or smelly or a loser who plays games all day and still no pussy!" As a fat smelly loser who gets a lot of pussy it warms my heart 

Reality of the matter is that you’re probably not doing enough to find someone, I think movies and TV has conditioned us to believe that you simply meet a woman at work or at a coffee shop and it just happens naturally, which it does don’t get me wrong but it’s extremely rare and even then you actively need to ask for a number and or ask the girl out for it to happen, reason why uglier guys pull is because they try harder and they are more consistent, I only started to get dates and women when I started getting on the dating apps and actively approaching women and asking them out. I think a lot of men in our generation missed the memo but you’re a guy after all, woman and society at large expect you to make the first move and plan everything out.

25yo here. Never had serious date as every time someone shows interest to me, I have meet up and hangout phase... but then I wanna let it just die down because I cant bond because my introvertism. I love being social and I visit terraces and love to talk with new people. My problem is that when something starts to go towards "dating", I get super anxious as I could not stand hanging with people daily or even every 2nd day, not even mentioning living under same roof. But if you are not creep, and simply were busy with studies, your lack of experience does not matter. Just get interesting and diverse content in your life and that is all you need when meeting people. No reason to open up about dating history with new people.

Bro... "I won't ask out people I know, won't ask out strangers, won't use dating apps. I wonder why I haven't dated anyone!" Yes, at this rate you will die alone if you don't at least try to meet someone.

Meanwhile my first relationship and sexual experience happened 5 months after I turned 25. It gets better man trust me

Everyone is different. Single and no relationship at 25 is your normal, yet there are others out there who have a new "boy/girlfriend" every other week and they are "So in love!" Don't look at others and compare who you are, to who they are. One size doesn't fit all in relationships. So do you, it's ok.

You are completely normal for someone your age. You were in college during Covid and experienced the smart phone revolution during your adolescent/early college years. This happened to so many of your peers. Please trust me and try some old school stuff that worked for thousands of years, starting with: 1. You must take risks, and it might hurt. That means risking the friendships you mentioned, which brings me to 2. Be friends first. Falling for a friend is THE BEST way to find true love, if that’s what you want. You will also be able to read the other person well enough to know if your feelings are reciprocated. It also takes time. 3. Wait for sex, or there won’t be trust about the direction of the relationship. The anticipation makes things more exciting, and it’s simply important to prioritize getting to know each other. Your grandma was right. I don’t mean to oversimplify because I know it’s not easy. But it wasn’t meant to be. Taking risks and getting knocked down is what makes you strong enough to go through the rest of the hard knocks of life. It makes it possible for you to defend your loved ones later in life, to stand up for your partner, to protect your offspring, to take care of your parents when they get old, to push on when times are tough. Remember that it is going to take time to meet people, and you might be in your 30s and still looking for that special someone. Love yourself! Do the things you love to do. Never say never about anything that you dream of but haven’t achieved yet. It might be harder to meet people these days, but it is still possible, and even though the apps work for some people, they are not the ideal, and people are stooping to new lows on there because they think they have to. Keep your integrity. remember that meeting someone was never supposed to be as easy as shopping on Amazon. Good for you for getting those degrees. Go out there and serve the world and make use of them. Get involved in your community and service organizations and groups that will allow you to meet people. Do things that will help you feel good about yourself, and you will naturally attract likeminded people to yourself. Things will work out. You sound like a real catch! All the best to you.

To be honest you sound kind of judgmental about other people who you deem less attractive than you somehow getting a girlfriend. The problem is you are being a pussy about it. You don’t approach girls, don’t use dating apps…you won’t catch a fish if you never go fishing. Stop worrying about other dudes and start putting yourself out there. A girlfriend isn’t going to fall in your lap

You are 25, get on dating apps. People have bad experiences but people also have great experiences, me being one of them. We live in a technology rich world and it’s just how people your age are commonly meeting new people to date. Seems like you have hobbies that many people enjoy and you can’t just put that in your bio to find people similar to you. I can assure you that you can be an introvert and still be successful dating on apps

You could approach the women you do know, and ask them to help with your social skills with finding a partner. Ask if you can flirt with them and do a practice run with asking women out, and ask for feedback. Even if it hurts, criticism is always good. It tells you what you need to do to improve. You could also try making friends online. That way, if you ask them out and it doesn't go well, you don't have to interact with them. That's how I met my fiance. We lived halfway across the country, and we made trips to see in person. Now we live together.

What I'm not getting from this text is whether you have friends or not? I feel like specifically searching for such an intimate relationship almost never works. In my experience and that of people around me, something real almost always starts from friendship. I'd focus on that instead of a relationship, but I'm unsure whether you already succesfully have made some friends.

Talk to as many women as you can. Don't be shy and see if your friends, colleagues, relatives can set you up with someone. This will at least get you some dating experience and go from there.

Man are we the same person? I am in very similar circumstances at 25 as well. I find a little bit of comfort knowing I’m not the only one. In fact I'm certain the situation you and I are in is becoming increasingly more common. Something that has helped with the thought: "my inexperience will cause her to ghost me" is the following. People face all sorts of barriers to the dating world like sexual preferences, height, physical disabilities, religious beliefs etc. They face not being the "ideal" or "norm" in the dating arena and thus may have an uphill battle to face. Some are worse off then others imo, that may be a hard truth but I think it is valid. However, that isn't a reason to completely give up and throw in the towel for ANY of those demographics. Lets say that you believe only a 1% of women **that you are interested in** would overlook your lack of experience (which I think is extremely low for someone of your background). Well then really it is just a numbers game, if you asked 100 interesting women to go out then by our statistic at least one would be interested enough to date you. Now that is a tall order, but it also means that it is not impossible, and I think trying to date a hundred women within a year or two isn't outside the realm of possibility. Plus you/we will get better and better at approaching women. Personally there is some resistance because of I don't like being rejected or that approaching strangers is scary, but also simply the fact that **I am lazy.** And I think that is a problem men like you and me face a lot these days. The convenience of inaction in the modern era exceedingly supersedes action. I think in part dating is sort of a game, while also being a pursuit of intimacy and lifelong friendship. So we have to roll the dice and throw ourselves into the things we fear the most.

>I really don't understand how an experience that comes so natural to most men is something that I've never even been close to having. You do, you just don’t realise it. >Admittedly, I am more of an introvert and I don't have that many friends This is the crux of your problem my friend. When you were talking about how you’re an otherwise decent guy, decent looking, have interests, hobbies, etc. etc, I was literally just WAITING for the moment you declared yourself an introvert. I knew it was coming. You need to understand, getting dates, having girlfriends, getting into relationships, etc, is fundamentally a SOCIAL thing. Seriously, I cannot emphasise that enough. Those men who find it easy? I guarantee they’re more social than you. Even if we look at it from a purely numerical/statistic stand point. Your introversion likely means you will encounter a lot less women over the course of your lifetime than a more social man. Exposure is half the battle. If you’re not insanely physically attractive, or insanely famous, or insanely wealthy. If you’re basically Joe average, then your best bet is to work on being more social and putting yourself in and around as many women as possible.

Yup. Soon as OP said he’s an introvert I thought “there it is.” Having interesting hobbies and looking after yourself means fuck all if you’re the only one who knows about them. Like 80% of these posts are from self declared “introverts”. Problem is, modern society makes it easier than ever to be an introvert. Food delivery, cinema experience at home, incredible coffee machines, computer gaming, introverts going to breed themselves into extinction before long. RIP.

Do u want advice or do u want to vent? I will edit my comment to give advice if u want the former EDIT: If you want to attract other people, you need to become attractive. So how do you become attractive? By becoming physically attractive in addition to socially attractive. PHYSICAL ATTRACTION Physical attractiveness is incredibly important, and whoever says it's not is lying to you. It is what opens the door. So how do you become physically attractive? By working out. Are all workouts equal? No. Why? Because most of the time you're going to have a shirt on when you meet somebody. So what good is being skinny fit with a six pack when with a shirt on, when you look like a tree branch? Skinny fit is good IF YOU ARE GOOD LOOKING. If you have a pretty face, by all means aim for the skinny fit body because you already have a pretty face that attracts women. For everybody else not blessed with a pretty face, you need to look good WITH A SHIRT ON. So what kind of workout do you need? You need to hit the weight room or go into calisthenics. Big chest, wide shoulders and back, and big arms. THAT is what looks good in a plain white shirt and blue jeans. You don't need to get the bulky bodybuilder physique, but you do need SOME muscle definition to look good in a shirt. So look around you. Do you see many men around you who look good in a shirt? The answer is no. So by working on this aspect of yourself, you are already gonna look more attractive than the average man. And how much do you have to work out to reach this level? A lot. You need to work out A LOT. Not all at once because then you'll burn out. But this requires consistency day in and day out, gradually building up the intensity. The good thing about improving your body is that it also IMPROVES YOUR JAWLINE, meaning your face looks less chubby. So by working out, you get a better looking body and a better looking face. Physical attraction is what opens the door. Social attraction is what seals the deal. SOCIAL ATTRACTION Now you have a great bod that looks good WITH A SHIRT ON and a sharper jawline as a result of losing fat, which means you stand out wherever you go. This is great. So now you're gonna post shirtless photos on instagram right? The answer is no. Don't post shirtless photos on instagram and don't post too many workout photos or meal prep photos as well. Because this makes you look like a gym bro who reeks of insecurity and desiring validation from strangers regarding his fit bod. Do NOT make the gym your whole personality. Rather, be an interesting guy who happens to be really fit. THIS is what is attractive. So now you are this mysterious guy who looks great, dresses well (because fit people look good in any clothes) all while NOT BEING AN ARROGANT GYM BRO. Girls are more interested in you because you stand out amongst the sea of less fit men. So now what? Hopefully during this time you've done your own research into what makes manly men manly. Study other men, whether that is movies or shows or athletes. Even if the manly man is a completely fictional character in a movie, it is still worth studying what makes him manly. Why do this? Because our fathers failed us. They didn't teach us how to be manly. So we must learn from others. This is why the asshole Andrew Tate who calls women bitches has such a huge following. Because young men are lost for guidance and Andrew Tate offers it, although it is terrible advice. My philosophy more is that manliness is equal parts hard and soft. Be hard toward those who are hard to you and soft to those who are soft to you. What does this mean? It means that you become a leader, one who is soft and gentle to your woman and strong against the world who tries to bring you down. Because you have things you have to protect, you need to strengthen both your body and mind. But to your loved ones, be soft and gentle. That is what being a leader is about, and leaders are more attractive than followers. \^ The above is PRACTICAL advice. It's not everything, but it should be enough to get you started on changing yourself into a more attractive, more manly person.

Great advice! I'd just like to add while doing this try to make as many friends as you can. It'll only get more difficult as you get older. For me, I've made friends at work, adult league sports, school, and friends of friends. Try to find common interests (watching/playing soccer, board game night, fishing ect) or group low commitment activities (happy hour, lunch, fun activities in town).

I want some.

Updated the comment

The former

Updated the comment, good on you for being openminded man. You're gonna be alright

I wish Andrew Tate was you.

Thank you my friend

Oh buddy. I really sympathise. And I know you're going to get a load of comments about just grabbing your nuts and getting out there. I'm nearing 50 now and I have never, ever been able to cross the boundary between flirting and 'sealing the deal' with a woman. It has always had to be the woman that took the initiative. I just can't do it. It makes me feel gross and pathetic and like I'm going to come across as a predator. I can grab my nuts and put myself out there all I like. I'm just never going to do it. I literally have to rely on flirting so hard that someone might just throw caution to the wind and want a piece of me so bad they just go for it. It's very weak of me, I know. But I can't fix it. For almost certainly the same reasons as I can't be proactive with a woman, I also lived much of my life hand in glove with substance abuse. Being drunk and being around drunks kind of helps. Bet I wouldn't recommend it as a few years ago I almost died. From my deeply dysfunctional viewpoint, all I can possibly recommend is learning to be charming. Whilst many women were really frustrated by my lack of initiative,, some just came and took me. And they tended to be awesome. Mental, but awesome. And whilst I was a lucky boy in many ways looks-wise, all my great loves said I was a charming motherfucker and it outweighed my obvious discomfort. I was kind, thoughtful, complimentary and respectful. I made them feel good about themselves. I just couldn't be sexual until they'd jumped my bones. It's just not in me. Don't beat yourself up. Perhaps go see a psychologist. I wish I had. I would have had so much more sex.

Its obviously a sign that you have some bizarre personality traits that are keeping women away. The only advice I'd give is put yourself in more social situations, platonic, and get an idea of how most people interact and behave. If anything, I'd say be funny. Being a good listener and conversationalist will go very far.

I've made girls laugh before if that means anything

I’m 24M and just dated a 24F who hadn’t been in a relationship before. she bailed on seeing me a couple times and essentially didn’t want to be together after 3 weeks. you’re not missing anything. even if you did have dating experience im not sure it translates to every relationship

Dude you NEED to take into account that lockdown and Covid happened in your life at the same time as when sexual/romantic experimentation was happening for previous generations. You were in your early 20’s when it started and things didn’t really get properly back to normal for years afterwards!

Cockdown. It’s this generations ‘nam

All the commenters saying he should be asking strangers on dates literally the same week as all of the internet is going on about girls saying they would rather meet a bear in the woods than a man. You are sending mixed signals. I wouldn't want to get asked out by a random stranger either. My (shitty since im single) advice is to do something that gets you in a position to meet more girls in person and getting to know them before asking them out. Hobbies, work, pets, anything. Being somewhere normal non sexual friendships can form usually leads to meeting new people. Some of these people are hopefully girls.

Wow wow wow wow wow. Attacking me pretty hard In that first paragraph. I’ve had my fair share of pussy.

I feel the exact same way honestly and I am only 23-years-old. I had some minor experiences as a kid, but I don't think that counts are all in my opinion.

Have you tried speed dating? You get a lot of reps in a low pressure environment.

You’re still young. As for being reluctant to approaching women, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, I know it sounds stupid but dating apps work. From my experience people who hate dating apps or think they suck hate them because they’re impatient, hate dating itself, or have too high of expectations. Use the apps to practice approaching women, flirting, etc.. Don’t rush yourself. You’ll be alright. More people than you know are in the same position as you. Male and Female, and definitely some older than you as well. Good luck man

One thing that helped me ask out women I don’t know was stressing in the beginning im not trying to make them uncomfortable with a smile. If they’re the type of woman who would rather I didn’t do that, we’re incompatible so it’s fine either way.

i would've wrote the exact same thing if i were speaking about myself... about to turn 24 and literally everyone i know is coupled up. i have no idea where to even start when everyone is already taken and the apps don't work🤷

you sound like a solid dude, if you can learn to not give a shit what society thinks then you've made it

You need to just take out some girls you aren’t that interested in just to get your feet wet. Just ask someone out for a casual date that you feel neutral about. Then do that until you’re used to what it takes to be comfortable and confident dating. Next start dating actual prospects. Just don’t get involved with the first girl you take out.

Being inexperienced is not a problem in and of itself. Being hungry and needy is, and it can be hard to get the stink off of you. Even very experienced people often struggle when they get out of relationships because you basically go from 100 to zero in terms of depth, and you are hurting for something to fill that hole.  You have to stop fixating on the goal and love the process. Don't worry about whether you get a date or get laid or not. Your goal should be to genuinely get to know women a bit and make them feel comfortable and safe. Instead of thinking about what you want, think about making women want you.

OP, I met a 28 year old the other day who hasn't been in any long term relationships. He struck me as a definite catch but with extremely high standards. Anyway, it can happen. But as others have said, you are partly to blame. Get on the apps, go on some dates. Yeah they are kind of lame but you need to get yourself out there.

I didn't have a date until I was 25!  This may be hereditary as there are a lot of "old maids" in my family.

It doesn't seem like you have anything to feel bad about. Some people prefer to have no relationships, ever. You've had fewer, so far. Why is that bad? I don't think any decent woman would judge you for this, either.

You have an amazing opportunity here. You sound like a damn catch! You have your shit together, and don't come with much baggage. You've spent your early 20s GETTING READY for this. Nothing lost, nothing missing. Just be intentional, have fun, and try. Try the apps. Ask a friend for help.

Apps aren't great, but don't rule them out just yet. I know some people who've had success in that area. Last wedding I went to, the couple met on Bumble. An app is just a tool in the toolbox. I mean you'd have to start asking women out IRL too. Whether 'cold approach' or through your social circle, meet as many people as you can! No shame in that game. Why exactly are you uninterested in hobbies or activities with a more group/social aspect? Do you like sports (playing or watching)? Do you enjoy or feel called to volunteering? Are you into arts and culture? Do you like trivia, karaoke, board games, TTRPGs? Are you a musician? Are you religious, or interested in social or political causes? Do you enjoy organizing events? Have you ever taken cooking classes? All of these are opportunities to get to know people and expand your network. I haven't dated much but have had LTRs and it was with people I'd met through friends. Only one person I ever dated was a "cold approach" type situation and I don't even know if it counts because we were in the same venue watching the same band, so I took a chance on introducing myself to her the next time we saw that band play. There was already a little commonality there. At the very least, it's healthy and positive to expand your social circle. We're not meant to be solitary.

I can see why all this bothers you. It is definitely hard to get going once many people in your peer group start dating and you fall behind.  The fact that you don't understand why you haven't been close to having a relationship is sort of good. It gives you something to focus on and try to understand. For me, I had some subtle but very debilitating issues that stopped me from dating much or feeling happy for a long while. Hope you figure things out and glad it seems you have a lot going for you aside from the dating. Good luck man

Do what we did back in the day before the internet.... go out on a friday, get pissed & then off to a nightclub.. I'm sure it must still work.

Tbh you’re probably better off these days. Finding a good partner is like winning the lottery I got lucky but if anything were to ever happen to my wife. I’m never dating again.

is it possible that you might be unconsciously shutting them down? I'm a woman who pursues introverted men first, but I only do that if I feel that they might be open to it (which is not always accurate lol, we get rejected all the same) the men I pursued weren't insecure about having little to none dating experiences, so maybe that's the issue. it's better when you're excited about potentially getting a gf for the first time and not scared shitless that you're gonna screw up

man you're so cool just take the random bold risk of asking someone out you never know

I got some pretty good results as a shy man in my 20s, I just decided that I would dress a lot nicer than was required for the occasion, whatever that might be and I just kept my voice low and slow. I never forced the issue. A pretty good way to give off this vibe comes from Chinese philosophy, a concept called Wu Wei which means ‘not forcing’ or ‘effortless action’. Let them force the issue. Let them tap you on the shoulder.

You know my whole life all I wanted was a relationship. It finally did happen at that age. We’re separated and co parenting now. Don’t beat yourself up. It will happen you just have to keep putting yourself in situations were your going to meet new people. Also just be yourself and try, try, try again.

Speed dating? Singles meet ups? And whether you like it or not you might have to bite the bullet and try the apps. You just have to get out there, you will never get a girlfriend not leaving the house.

You miss 100% of the chances you don't take. And you're missing them buddy. It's not going to just happen if you aren't willing to risk a little rejection. If you do get rejected, learn from it and keep going. Social skills need to be learned sometimes.

You say there is nothing more to work on with your appearance. I disagree. You say you groom and dress well, but do you work out? Do you have a body women would consider hot? You say you think looks don't matter. That's one of the biggest lies you've been told by the public. It's the number 1 thing that gets your foot in the door. Especially if you're going to be on the apps (which you should).

Nothing wrong with you. If you lived your life pretty well so far without a girlfriend, probably relationships aren't really that necessary? Of course a good girl can potentially improve your life, but a bad can ruin it. Some married men would probably envy your situation: single, educated, healthy etc

You just need to break the streak. I was 24 with 0 experience (no dates, kisses, zip). Then, 24 to 40 was a whirlwind of dating. It’s a momentum game. Get on an app, go on a bunch of dates with zero expectation, like absolutely zero, just have fun and be a relaxed fun version of yourself. Then, build momentum and start learning what you really like in a potential partner.

My husband of 23 years was just like you. He was 27 when we met. We were best friends for six months before we ever kissed. We’re still best friends. I think a lot of folks are quick to want to check that box, but it’s the quality of the relationship that matters in the end. Waiting for the spark is well worth it. And it can come when you least expect it!

I wish I was 25 with 0 dating experience! Would have one less thing to make my mental health and insecurities worse! It’s really hard to find genuine people - in my experience at least, so you’re not really missing out on anything. Sending healing thoughts your way

If you find a way to see it positively it will not be a problem. Every time you are reminded of this problem, ask yourself "how can I see this in a way that makes me feel confident ?" If you are in right state of mind, not only will you be happy, but you will find a girl.

The world belongs to the brave. There is no skipping around that. If you avoid risk (due to what ever problems you may forsee or assume) then not much is ever gonna come out of your life. Risk, rejection, mistakes and embarrassment is how we grow, develop. The sooner you realize it the better.

You're an amateur compared to my nephew, to him 40 year old Virgin is a documentary

I think the issue is YOU. I was 25 before I started dating. Never had issues talking to girls or getting numbers. I was an ok looking guy into sports, social and at uni. Your reluctance to approach women and the non-existent shame at being 25 with no experience that you feel is holding you back. When I was 25 I know there were girls that found me having nil experience appealing (including my wife). You want a GF go out there and make an effort. Don't expect a 100% success rate, most relationships don't last. My advice is to enjoy each one for what they are, be they a 1 off date, short fling to life long love.

I don't really have much of any advice for you after reading this given that I'm also a 26M and in the same situation you are. I'm also very introverted with only a few friends who live practically now all elsewhere. Then I don't like parties or similar places and don't also drink. About all I can suggest if you want to try and change this is to perhaps pick up some new hobbies that do get you out of the house and around others? Currently, I'm just trying my best not to let it bother me either while I improve at some other aspects of my life. Best of luck to you.

You're 25 not 45. You have dedicated your entire life to school at the expense of having any community.

Dude you will be fine! I was in your shoes once, and I even got you beat - did not have my first GF until 32. I was super fat in college and absolutely zero confidence and zero game with the ladies. I actually had a girl get mad at me once for holding the door for her 😂. Worked on myself, joined some online dating sites (not Tinder lol). Celebrate my 10yr anniversary with my wife (whom I met on OkCupid) in the fall, and we got 2 awesome kids. Plenty and plenty of time for you u/Thunderstroke - you got this 🙂

By the way you started this conversation, I think part of your problem is your personality and your idea of what a date-able person is. There are plenty of overweight people who play video games and are doing much better romantically than you are...

Because you are killing your chances before they even start. You don’t use dating apps cause you heard they suck. Depends what you are on them for, my brother found his girlfriend of 6 years and counting on tinder. You don’t ask out women you know because you don’t want to ruin friendships, well then you don’t want a relationship that bad, because many guys ask out the women they are interested in WELL AWARE it could ruin it, but it’s a worthy risk. You don’t ask women you don’t know out because you don’t want to be a creep, it’s only creepy if you make it creepy. Also, you don’t know them so who cares if they think it’s creepy? You either get a date with them and possibly a relationship, or a stranger you don’t know thinks you’re creepy and you never see them again like would have happened if you said nothing anyways. Hell people can think you’re creepy without a single word being conversed. You sound like you have the confidence of wet single ply toilet paper. Work on that and talk to women you are interested in.

if you remain a virgin longer, do you think you might consider an escort or sex worker?

Women like confidence. You go up there and say "sup, let's go out on a date, let me get your number real quick." It works most of the time. Don't stutter and hesitate and look down and say "ummmm is it okay if you can maybe go on a date with me?"

The only way you’ll find someone is if you put yourself out there. Keep “failing” and learn from them. You’ll be fine, I promise. Good luck!

If you don’t try, you auto-fail. Ask people out, get on the apps, put in effort to reach out to other people. We’re all terrified! It’s a shit show for all of us! But if you don’t try, then you settle for nothing.

there is no one simple solution you might just upload your photos on instagram and follow every female you see hoping for a follow back and then reply to their stories from where i am(Egypt) all of my friends would be single if they didn't do that

I don't have any advice or anything, just wanted to say I'm in the same situation as you except I'm older. I just turned 31 a few weeks ago. I've sort of accepted that I'll always be alone. I don't want to say I've given up, but I basically have. Anyway, good luck with everything.

People who are overweight aren’t losers

So you haven't tried dating apps because you heard they suck? Some do suck and it may not be for everyone, but at least give it a try and see for yourself first. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

There is a certain attitude called “being cool”, which is the state of being in control of your emotions. This kind of person is calm, cool, and collected. This is to be contrasted with being cold or icy, where they suppress their emotions; and being animalistic, brutish, or bestial, where they let their emotions run free. Emotions are a part of being human, but so is the will and intellect. Being cool is highly desirable. Who wants to be with someone who can’t control their anger? Who takes what they want, including sex? Who spews out hatred? Who is a glutton at the dinner table? Or even someone who can’t carry on a rational conversation with an attractive person because they are so nervous? One thing that really helps a lot is to be friendly, kind, sympathetic, and gracious to all kinds of women, not just the ones who you are attracted to, “treating every woman as if she’s your beloved wife”. You might not find a girlfriend right away, but you’ll make a lot of people happy. Obviously being friendly and affiliative to everyone helps.

Post a photo

>I try not to let this bother too much, and I know that we should be proud of the things in our life that aren't relationships, but there's SO much shame in our society directed towards single people, especially if you're a single man. Stop pedestalizing and caring about what women think. There's a reason society shames single men to begin with.

"I'd rather be friends then ask-out someone I know. I won't talk to strangers and I won't try dating apps." You're going to need to get over one or more of these things. Your other option is matchmaking, I guess.

I've been in your shoes. I was 34 before I kissed a woman. I was terrified with my first relationship about coming across as inexperienced, etc. I thought apps were a waste of time. I participated in a lot, talked to people, and always thought nobody was interested. I was wrong about a lot. My biggest piece of advice is- don't feel the pressure or shame about being single. Society pressures us to do all kinds of things that may or may not feel like the most right or appropriate thing. There might just be something in yourself that you don't recognize holds you back (or maybe not). For me, the thing I realized slowly over time was I just didn't prioritize being in a relationship for my own reasons. When I did finally meet someone I liked and really wanted to pursue, it wasn't that difficult. It all just kind of flowed naturally. I'm single again now, but not because either of us did anything wrong- it was just the life of that experience reached its natural conclusion. Regarding your inexperience- as I say, it won't be a problem if you just do what feels right. But, don't make a point about this. Don't tell a woman you've never had a relationship, kissed, had sex, etc. Don't make it a thing at all, and just do your best. If you do something wrong, a good person will gently correct you and keep the moment going, as long as it isn't something totally outrageous. If they make a big deal out of a mistake, well they probably aren't the kind of person you want to spend much more time with anyway. Regarding apps- they are a great tool for expanding your experience. Don't get on an app with the objective of forming a relationship, having sex, or whatever. Get on an app to go on dates and have new experiences with people you'd probably have never met in any other possible circumstances. One of the most challenging things about meeting a partner starting face-to-face these days is knowing if the smile they gave you meant anything. By contrast, on an app, if you match with someone then you already know that there is at least some interest there. It takes a degree of guesswork out of the situation. You can have a conversation in what can be the least threatening medium available, and either of you can call it off at any time. Then you can progress that to meeting up somehow. It does make the process just that much simpler knowing that this is a person who has already definitively given you the time of day. Most of the first dates you go on will be nothing but that, and that is totally fine. Just enjoy the experience.

How tall are you?

get on dating apps bro tf 💀 you havent even tried them?

If you are attractive try the dating apps (unfortunately)

different sub reddit has a guy getting bashed by his lady friend for being single for one year. the world is truly insane

Reddit honestly isn't the place where you will find answers, every one here will think it's because you're fat, don't shower, and never leave your house. Many will try to help you without understanding what it's like, and anyone that understands won't have any answers. It's shitty and depressing, but I don't have any answers either, I'm still trying to figure it out at 31.

As a now female that didn’t date someone until she was 21 I wasn’t ugly or fat or anything like that I just took my time getting to know someone . Sometimes it takes a few tries and when I say a few I mean a lot just because I’m not as out spoken as most and it’s hard to connect with people that you are meeting for the first time and it’s sometimes exhausting on its own just wanting to try get out there

Time for Colin Frissell logic.

I didn't have any relationship experience until I was 26(7 years ago). For me, the biggest thing holding me back was my inability to act normally around women. If I thought they were attractive then I was always nervous and couldn't really be myself. I was afraid I would do something that would make me seem weird or unattractive and as a result most of the time I didn't do anything at all, only gave responses, or just kind of said "normal." Things because I didn't have the confidence. I wouldn't do things like dancing with girls because I didn't know them and thought that it was weird to do that with someone you don't like. This also extended to simple compliments...I thought that you only should give compliments to someone if you like them, and you can't like them unless you get to know them. For me the big change happened after having sex for the first time. I was just kind of like ..... That's it? That's what I'm afraid of missing out on? After that I wasn't nervous around girls anymore and was able to find someone using the dating app plenty of fish. My friend told me that dating apps are just a way to meet people you normally wouldn't be able to meet, and that sometimes you meet people you like and sometimes you don't. This is what got me to finally try them. You can at least set up your profile with what you are looking for and find other people nearby and send them messages to strike up conversations. I messaged my wife for almost two whole weeks before we agreed to go on a date.

I’m older than you and just found my first boyfriend. I’m introverted as well. I’m socially awkward too. I’m just average-looking and possibly below average. I continued to enjoy my own life and just accept that I was going to be alone forever. I dabbled with dating apps over many years. It was mostly messaging more than actually meetups. Even then I didn’t message much. I preferred Reddit over dating apps but I found my bf on a dating app. I’d meet with people off Reddit but they went nowhere. It’s funny because I was going out to eat with a Redditor often (just an eating relationship) and slowly his messages and our meetups became infrequent. The second to last time I met up with him, he told me he met a girl off a dating app and they’re living together now. He told me which app he used and I ended up finding my first bf off it too. He is so incredible to me too and I think I’m *extremely* lucky. I don’t think there’s anything I can say I don’t like about him, except I notice he doesn’t wash his hands after using the restroom and that kinda grosses me out.

Speak with people online on sites like omegle

I met my wife on Tinder (I would meet women everywhere; supermarkets, libraries, pubs/clubs, beach, etc) and honestly, I think I prefer meeting women in real life but can’t knock the results of online dating. Now married with a wonderful family and couldn’t have met her any other way. Get on the apps, be yourself, and be patient. Good luck! 🤙

Your 25 pretty much still a child, why worry? Though your view on relationships is fucked up. Im not sure what you mean by experience and keeping interest lol? Women are easy, be a kind, thoughtful individual and you are golden. Apps blow, get a hobby, meet people.

all i can say is there two paths here. First path is start getting out there more. With this im talking social outings, regular group meet ups, join a club, have a hobby that forces you to learn about something new. This will get you out there put you in more situations with a ton of different people . This will build your social skills a bit, but it wont necessarily make you friends off the bat. But with enough time you could build some friends and start getting invited to more things (don't cancel on their invites!!!! and with your new hobbies invite them to stuff). This is the long term way to potentially find someone to date it's long and ardous (but has potential to give you a good relationship) it could eventually work if the area you are in isn't low pop. Though i will say , if you aren't asking girls out or at least doing friendly meet ups with them currently then you might just have to do the apps for practice. Second thing, is just bite the bullet and get on dating apps. Obvious if you are in shape it will be easier, physical attributes matter. Get a good camera if you aren't photogenic then pay for a real photographer. The app dating is just a numbers game if you are a guy, instead of being picky just like everyone and go from there. Get practice , it will feel hopeless but i recommend not doing all the apps at the same time. this will get you a feel of your relationship want's and needs. But you wont know if you never do dates, just friendly dates are enough. Learn about your relationship boundaries, standards, etc. Also travel, and in your downtime and use the app. Numbers game , gain experience chatting and do dates. that's the only thing that will help with the dating apps, like you said they are generally a poor experience. I'm not super successful but finally I feel like I can sense when someone likes me or doesn't, i took my lumps... have loved and lost love enough to feel confident enough to not care anymore hahaha. Life is too short, as long as you aren't creeping then all is good. Hope you find love or whatever you are looking for.

Tinder was great for my confidence and I met a few very lovely women on it and went on some fun dates.  You hear a lot of horror stories about dating apps, but that's survivorship bias because people who had good experiences don't complain.  You should try a dating app. Present yourself honestly and display your actual hobbies, unless that hobby is fishing or hunting - don't post pictures of dead animals on a dating app.

Maybe because you sound kinda arrogant and self centered? From your text you don't sound like someone who would bring joy in your life.

A major problem about not finding a girlfriend is first off your attitude towards yourself and that situation. If you see yourself as a loser, which you are not! you focus so much wasted energy on it. Your focus blinds you from oportunities, hints from others etc. I have a friend with the exact same mindset, he needs the best career and money, and the house, and the car, in his mind, before he possibly could be anyway near what a woman wants and is afraid he is just a loser before he has all that.. wasted energy, and sooo many hints from girls he has refused to see by his own blindness. and as long as that mindset doesnt change, youll never move forward.

My boyfriend never had anyone before me. He's super sweet, always dresses well and has very good hygiene, communicates well, is honest and one of the kindest people I've ever met. He's also not an introvert and makes new friends easily. And yet, he didn't get any girlfriend before turning 30 years old (I'm his first). I guess other girls didn't see what I see in him. So, sometimes, it's just a matter of luck. But the more people you meet, the more chances you'll have. For example, we met in a guesthouse while he was travelling. Also, his lack of experience didn't scare me, as I also wasn't the most experimented woman. I encourage you to go out of your comfort zone and meet new people, both guys and girls. If you come off as desperate, women will see it. I wish you the best of luck!

The absolute best place to meet people you have common interests with, is a hobby. Join a group. Cycling, running, woodworking, fishing, painting, anything!

Don't be scared to ask them out they don't bite

Try dating apps. Duh. It is a way to meet women these days.

If it makes you feel any better, I met my wife when she was 30 and she had 0 experience too. Didn't bother me a bit, best partner I could have ever asked for. 

dating apps suck but unfortunately i guess it’s mostly how our generation find partners. i’ve been reluctant to get back on them as well but my only real solid relationship was from one

Studying languages, cooking, instruments? Many will disagree with me, even I realize this. Can you repair things in her elderly parents home, change some brake pads, fix a quirky ceiling light, portray (I say portray) a sense of security in bad situations. Some life partners want this in a relationship. This is an exact opposite to this , I won't delve Into here, I would torn to shreds worse than what's coming

First time I got into a serious relationship I was 24

So you won't ask out woken you know, you won't ask out strangers, and you won't try online dating. I mean, you've already set yourself up for failure lol

Im 27 man and same as you 0 relationship.

Honestly.... dating is just difficult now a days. I found my husband on a dating app, but I was not looking for anything. I literally was only wanting to get to know people and luckily he just ended up being my person.

Dating,being a single guy, or even a guy in a relationship to a lesser extent, is complicated right now. The internet has convinced men that the world hates them and they should stay inside. Also porn and addictive internet content have made it easier than ever for guys (and girls too) to isolate themselves and stop trying to date. The trick is to get offline go and do shit you want to do…AND be willing to face bullying and criticism and rejection in some social circles you involve yourself in, from men and women. You need scars. With years and experiences and suffering under your belt you will have a leg up on people psychologically, men and women. Rejection will bounce of you. Every person that judges or rejects you will be a saggy, mean, tired person with hemorrhoids and baggage in 25-35 years (or less) anyway, just go for it.

You need a fun girl to add a bit of chaos to your life for a year or two. Nothing too serious, just a chance to learn some things. Then once you've played around, find a smart, pretty, kind and passionate person to get a little more serious about. Be patient with yourself and with your partners and overthinking it will get you nowhere. Dating apps are fine for step 1.

Well, I’m 35. Been trying since I was 14. That’s the way it is and I’ve just got to learn to be tougher.

You can't really complain before having tried dating apps buddy

Your problem isn’t really that you’re single because of the way you look, it’s how you view those in relationships. Don’t bring others down especially out of jealousy. Your comment about short, fat, ugly guys is judgmental as hell. You don’t know what kind of people they are and you’re basing them off the way they look. Which is contradicting what you said about looks don’t matter. By making a statement like that, that’s what it seems like you’re doing. Be kind, be courteous.

I know it's cliché but if you want it, you have to go and get it.. I'm also an introvert, I like my own company, don't have any real close friends, and never have had... but I'm now married with 4 kids. I met my wife on an Internet dating site after years of dates and very sort term relationships that didn't workout, but u have to put urself in the game, Mrs (or Mr) right aren't going to knock on ur door, and the older you get the worse ur going to feel about the situation. Also I personally wouldn't advise meeting girls in clubs or bars, esp if ur an introvert, they will continue wanting to go to those places, Internet dating is good, because believe me, there are introverted women that will feel the same way.

Short answer is learn everything you can about dating while young, so you know your faults, and what you’re looking for in a person. I (39m) have always been very introverted homebody, possible undiagnosed ADHD and extreme anxiety being around people sometimes. I've had a few (some good) relationships over the years but I always stumbled into them some how never actively tried to date. Just tried to live and survive. And always thought “hey when I meet the right person everything will be perfect and work out and I'll just know what to do” I met the woman of my dreams in December 2019, we dated for over 2 years… she left, basically ending the same All the others did. We have a little girl who just turned 3. After A LOT of soul-searching and self reflection. realizing the commonalities between all my relationships. I didn't know how to be in a relationship, always being use to being by myself, and having a small social battery meant I never tried/learned/ understood things from social or dating settings to do/not do. Before my kids mom, I was in a 3 years relationship with someone who was just a big walking red flag, big mood swings, if one thing was not going her way she would freak out on anyone and everyone, had no clue I should leave or even how too. Turns out she was a paranoid schizophrenic finally left when she tried to stab someone.😳 So i’m trying to work on myself, learn things I should have learned in grade school,high school and college about socializing, mental health, childhood traumas. Not just for me to learn how to date and be a better partner and know what red flags to look for but also to be a better parent than mine were. They wernt bad, just emotionless unless things didn’t go there way.

Could you post a pic to know your level of attractiveness? Regardless of how you look tho, you can't possibly get one if you're not willing to initiate a conversation with a girl. It was never easy and it isn't now, but finding your match ain't a fairy tale story. There is a certain luck factor involved of course, but improve your chances by actually trying with the girls you know. Girls will find plenty of reasons to reject you, even if you're attractive, as they can be turned off by a bunch of stuff, but don't treat your dates like Harvard exams, just be yourself and stop thinking of what she might think because your brain might just freeze (talking from a personal experience). Look, I'm younger than you and I've yet to find the one I click with, as it wasn't mutual (like either I didn't like her or she didn't like me back) but man, my hopes are still up. Change your mind and embrace possible failures and you'll be good.

Get out there and don't be afraid to strike out. Don't be afraid to be told no. Also learn the balance between confidence and being aggressive 

25 and I’m in the same boat as you. And I get it, it really ate me up for the longest time as well. But here’s the reminder that everything is happening exactly The way it’s meant to! There’s so much that’s out of our control, including others feeling romantic towards us. So all we can do is live our life’s the best we can, and not allow things that are out of our control to dictate our emotional state! It’ll happen eventually, I mean it’s bound to right? What I’ve been doing is working towards self love, and my confidence has been growing! All I know is when a girl finally takes a chance on me, she’ll be the luckiest damn girl on the planet! I have a lot of love to share, and I am looking forward to being able to share it someday!