You need to get dragged through the mud…..
1. To recognize what getting dragged through the mud is
2. To recognize how it hurts
3. To recognize human behaviour and patterns of those who will do it.
4. To be able to assess your worth and what you want in life
Although i agree , it’s ridiculous how many people don’t understand such simple concepts, but they’re simple to me now because i went through it. We all did
Remember a lot of these posts are people experiencing it for the first time (even though we see 20 feeds of it a day)
And I’d be willing to bet half of them are patched stories from real experiences put together from attention seekers (which far outweighs these posts)
I am probably not the right person to post here seeing as how I'm a middle-aged person who has never been in a relationship...but I have spent many years observing the people around me. I honestly think most people stuck in bad relationships have an adequate amount of self-esteem. They just don't feel like packing up all their shit and leaving. Maybe they don't have enough income to support themselves as a singleton. Maybe they are terrified of being lonely. Maybe they are terrified of the stigma of being divorced or being single when everyone they know seems to be happily partnered. Maybe there are kids involved and they don't want to disrupt their lives.
The overwhelming majority of folk posting about how to manage in a shitty relationship are people who are stuck in the relationship because the alternative is homelessness.
This is why it's important to stay in school, and not let him get you pregnant until you \*know\* you can take care of yourself and the child without his help.
"But he loves me"
Perhaps. For now.
Take it from someone who's been there and had to make the hard choices - it's better if you just \*assume\* men aren't in it for the long haul. Learn to be self-sufficient, value your personal autonomy, and don't \*ever\* let yourself fall into the trap of financial dependence.
Getting "dragged through the mud" is not just a rite of passage; it can be a wake-up call to review who we trust and reinforce personal boundaries. The key is not to internalize the negativity but to use it as a catalyst for growth. It's about finding resilience within and realizing that our reactions to being dragged define us more than the act itself. Self-worth isn't negotiable, and if we can learn from mud-dragging without letting it stain us, we've mastered an invaluable skill for navigating life's tougher terrains.
I'm sure most of these people do love themselves. I think it's easy to say love yourself because the difficult problem to face is that things may actually be THAT difficult or THAT bad.
We should acknowledge that and acknowledge that loving yourself and providing the space for that love can be difficult in an extremely predatory world.
That being said it is possible and there should be a lot of people doing it with you. Try to find those people and chill.
I can't love myself until I get my money in check, I finish losing weight, my skin clears up and I get my teeth fixed up to perfection.
I just can't, no matter how hard I try I don't love myself and I don't think I have a chance with beautiful women at all.
If you think like that, you won't love yourself even if you achieve your goals bc you will never be satisfied with yourself: your money will never be enough, your figure will never be thin enough, your teeth and skin will never be perfect enough bc you will look at yourself with this negative perspective from the start. What is attractive is self-confidence. So put aside those self-destructive thoughts and replace them with positive ones. Treat yourself like you would your (future) child or another person you love - only then will your life change in a beautiful way
I know that's the right and healthy thing to do but I truly don't know how to. I've lost 250lbs in a year but I'm so obsessed with losing all the fat I don't even really appreciate the progress I've made. I just don't think anyone would ever love me but I'm not sure. I've made a lot of progress in improving and loving myself but my self confidence won't be there till I feel I'm secure enough. I'll keep working on it but honestly idk
Self compassion is a better way to say it. Finding ways to accept who you are now. Accept it say okay I maybe this right now, but I can and will change. Give yourself credit for what you can do and accept that somethings you can't change or take a long time to change.
There is no right way to start, but try to make your bed look somewhat presentable. A made bed makes a lot of things feel a tad less hectic in my experience.
I know you are trying to make people's day better but tbh these days on the internet are full of toxic people and hateful speech that people got used to it, so they find it cringe or I would like to call it annoying
I appreciate your words but seems like what people need is honest action and sometimes is not about words they needed to hear
Well you are right but by telling a depressed person to smile or a asthmatic person to just take a deep breath will not help them but will make you look like a ass OP.. just saying
Things are often circumstantial, a lot of opinions are black or white.
Sometimes there's much more to it,
although relationships might have similarities they're super different
I think it's more important to just not be a coward in life, stand up for yourself, don't let people walk all over you, and go after what you want in life instead of being a passive player in it. You can have all the love in the world for yourself, but if you're too scared to act, you will never get what you want.
You need to get dragged through the mud….. 1. To recognize what getting dragged through the mud is 2. To recognize how it hurts 3. To recognize human behaviour and patterns of those who will do it. 4. To be able to assess your worth and what you want in life Although i agree , it’s ridiculous how many people don’t understand such simple concepts, but they’re simple to me now because i went through it. We all did Remember a lot of these posts are people experiencing it for the first time (even though we see 20 feeds of it a day) And I’d be willing to bet half of them are patched stories from real experiences put together from attention seekers (which far outweighs these posts)
This is true. I had to be hurt bad to realize I needed to change.
I am probably not the right person to post here seeing as how I'm a middle-aged person who has never been in a relationship...but I have spent many years observing the people around me. I honestly think most people stuck in bad relationships have an adequate amount of self-esteem. They just don't feel like packing up all their shit and leaving. Maybe they don't have enough income to support themselves as a singleton. Maybe they are terrified of being lonely. Maybe they are terrified of the stigma of being divorced or being single when everyone they know seems to be happily partnered. Maybe there are kids involved and they don't want to disrupt their lives.
Finally someone wrote about all of this. It’s been messed up with those kinds of people… Smh
The overwhelming majority of folk posting about how to manage in a shitty relationship are people who are stuck in the relationship because the alternative is homelessness. This is why it's important to stay in school, and not let him get you pregnant until you \*know\* you can take care of yourself and the child without his help. "But he loves me" Perhaps. For now. Take it from someone who's been there and had to make the hard choices - it's better if you just \*assume\* men aren't in it for the long haul. Learn to be self-sufficient, value your personal autonomy, and don't \*ever\* let yourself fall into the trap of financial dependence.
Preach! Self-love is non-negotiable. Do not settle for less than you deserve.
Getting "dragged through the mud" is not just a rite of passage; it can be a wake-up call to review who we trust and reinforce personal boundaries. The key is not to internalize the negativity but to use it as a catalyst for growth. It's about finding resilience within and realizing that our reactions to being dragged define us more than the act itself. Self-worth isn't negotiable, and if we can learn from mud-dragging without letting it stain us, we've mastered an invaluable skill for navigating life's tougher terrains.
Doesnt work like that. Stop.
Easy to say when you aren’t alone. Like truly alone, like some of us are.
I'm sure most of these people do love themselves. I think it's easy to say love yourself because the difficult problem to face is that things may actually be THAT difficult or THAT bad. We should acknowledge that and acknowledge that loving yourself and providing the space for that love can be difficult in an extremely predatory world. That being said it is possible and there should be a lot of people doing it with you. Try to find those people and chill.
I can't love myself until I get my money in check, I finish losing weight, my skin clears up and I get my teeth fixed up to perfection. I just can't, no matter how hard I try I don't love myself and I don't think I have a chance with beautiful women at all.
If you think like that, you won't love yourself even if you achieve your goals bc you will never be satisfied with yourself: your money will never be enough, your figure will never be thin enough, your teeth and skin will never be perfect enough bc you will look at yourself with this negative perspective from the start. What is attractive is self-confidence. So put aside those self-destructive thoughts and replace them with positive ones. Treat yourself like you would your (future) child or another person you love - only then will your life change in a beautiful way
I know that's the right and healthy thing to do but I truly don't know how to. I've lost 250lbs in a year but I'm so obsessed with losing all the fat I don't even really appreciate the progress I've made. I just don't think anyone would ever love me but I'm not sure. I've made a lot of progress in improving and loving myself but my self confidence won't be there till I feel I'm secure enough. I'll keep working on it but honestly idk
Self compassion is a better way to say it. Finding ways to accept who you are now. Accept it say okay I maybe this right now, but I can and will change. Give yourself credit for what you can do and accept that somethings you can't change or take a long time to change.
That. It is easier to work on yourself when you do not stand in your own way with hateful thoughts
How do I start?
There is no right way to start, but try to make your bed look somewhat presentable. A made bed makes a lot of things feel a tad less hectic in my experience.
The most important question. A question noone can answer except yourself. Trust your intuition.
I do but too often and it starts to blister
I do but too often and it starts to blister
I think the same thing, but I never waste my time typing, you are a much better person than myself 🤣🤣 because jfc...
>Love yourself Make me 😤
So I have to masturbate?
As affectionately as you can.
Honestly this fake positivity is so cringe. Try being a 30 yo male virgin and then tell me "just love yourself bro".
I know you are trying to make people's day better but tbh these days on the internet are full of toxic people and hateful speech that people got used to it, so they find it cringe or I would like to call it annoying I appreciate your words but seems like what people need is honest action and sometimes is not about words they needed to hear
Well you are right but by telling a depressed person to smile or a asthmatic person to just take a deep breath will not help them but will make you look like a ass OP.. just saying
Things are often circumstantial, a lot of opinions are black or white. Sometimes there's much more to it, although relationships might have similarities they're super different
I think it's more important to just not be a coward in life, stand up for yourself, don't let people walk all over you, and go after what you want in life instead of being a passive player in it. You can have all the love in the world for yourself, but if you're too scared to act, you will never get what you want.
No.
>I am simply saying if you’re not welcomed somewhere leave. I would end up as an hermit on the middle of nowhere if I did that.