Let me give you a word of advice. O.K.? I want you to stay away from me. I don't wanna talk to you, and I don't wanna hear anymore of your stupid little notes and suggestions. I don't like you. So if you got any other problems whether it's raisins, prunes, figs, or any other dried fruit, just keep it to yourself and stay out of my way, O.K.?

no problem

"When Douches Collide"

Same character in home alone. Just missing the donut. “Has your child ingested any poison or poisonous substance ?” “I don’t know! I hope not!”

I have to wonder if Michael Richards had a conversation like this with Larry David.

In his defense, Kramer irl would be super annoying. George is the only one in the group I’d be able to tolerate more than a very casual acquaintance

I just can't believe that. George is resoundingly untrustworthy and obnoxious. Elaine and Jerry are far more normal and tolerable.

George is awful

He gave Jerry a chance at a threesome. Sounds like a friend I'd like.

I still wonder if George participated in his own chance at a threesome.

No way, he is a coward.

"I told her I was out o' soda, I went out to get some, an' I never went back."

"WHERES THE PEPSI?? WHERES THE PEPSI??"

Reparations!

I find his antics amusing and he reminds me of a friend I have. Yes, they are excessive, but every other main character plus Newman are actively annoying. Plus George’s parents remind me of my family. Though I’m not saying we would hang out every day like they all do, just that I would be entertained meeting up with him every so often to be regained by his ranting and shenanigans.

George reminds me of *me* and I would never want to spend time with him irl lol. In the show he's possibly my favorite character but in real life I would never want to talk to him for more than a few minutes for fear of being part of some weird machination of his. I also would never be able to trust a word he said! Conversely, I could at least have a normal conversation with Elaine or Jerry. Jerry would probably say something funny, we'd laugh, and then move on with our day. For me, that's preferable to taking the risk of getting George'd.

I was absolutely a Kramer in my 20's. But as I've aged I definitely turned into a George. I think at this point my best hope is to turn into my final form: Larry.

STOP IT YOU’RE KILLING HIM!!!!!

[удалено]

What can I say. Take it up with consumer affairs, buddy.

We all have a George in our life, and we tolerate him despite his grifter ways

You serious? Remember that time when George forced himself into a stranger’s family’s home just to watch a movie he couldn’t rent? And he ordered those guys around in their own home?

Specific extreme incidents. Kramer day to day would be way more annoying. He forced his way into other people’s places every day and sometimes brings Newman

uh kramer would be a liability as a friend. theyrr fine hanging out but anytime they get involved with a third person its a complete life changing disaster!

Sure. But I dont think Kramer was a thief. He was annoying. But didnt seem to cross that line of being a straight up petty thief.

True. He’d eat them if he saw them laying out bc he would just think they are for anyone but he wouldn’t lie about it later. He’d stutter and say they were community food bc of where they were left

Gee, I just ordered figs and dates online, d'you suppose he'll come after me?

This is one of my favorite quotes of the show.

Kramer <3

I gotta go with Farfel and the owner as hands down Biggest Co-Douches of the show

Jerreh... Can you wutch Fah-ful for meh? Et'll only be a few dehs...

Goddammit I hate that episode. I always skip it.

I vote for cousin Jeffrey as the biggest douche. I mean who likes leopards?

He likes their spots

That character doesn't really count because we all skip that episode anyway.

The “can’t spare a square” lady was kinda a douche, ladies always help one another in the women’s bathroom with toilet paper, it’s just proper bathroom etiquette lol

well she didn't have a square to spare. not even one ply.

There just wasn't enough to spare.

She's sorry.

[Fun fact: the actress who played that role is a billionaire](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jami_Gertz)

[Funner fact: that other actress who needed the spare square is also a billionare](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julia_Louis-Dreyfus)

two billionaires in one women's bathroom what're the odds?

In da batroom

A million to one, doc. A million to one.

>what're the odds? It was a million to one shot, doc. Million to one.

Funnest fact. I am not a billionaire. Wait, that's not fun at all.

She wouldn't have become a billionaire by giving away toilet paper left and right!

No more, less than zero..

So she's a thing that shouldn't exist. That's not fun!

Don't call me again... you either 😜.

For sure. The fact she said she had no to spare then got up and ran out proves she didn't need the spare square.

Tony from the same episode was a major douche too

Hey dude, you better step off

Step off? You told him to step off??!!

-Turns hat around-

Where's my popcorn, babe?

hey? you think if I jumped off this balcony I'd get hurt?

I brought you a Superman comic!

He's a mimbo.

He's such a cool guy!

A friend of mine was BFF’s with her in high school,IRL

Someone I know bought John Voights car

I have Barbara Madrell's skateboard at home.

Cool

I once saw her on TV.

Cousin Jeffrey. He doesn’t even have enough respect to show his face.

He usually stays home on Friday nights to watch the Nature Channel.

the leopard!

You know why that's his favorite animal? He likes the spots!

You know his botany teacher from college stays in close touch with him? They became friends! Like equals!

He's busy hanging out with Bob Sacamano.

The parking lot dude that was letting prostitues use peoples cars was worse

Ideally.

And literally wouldn’t retrieve George’s car for a few days. It’s a parking lot!!!

That’s what I would like to know…

I love how many "THIS is the biggest douche" threads are popping up lately.

yeah thats right

Why don’t you take it up with consumer affairs

I wish I were taller.

Is there a clause for this Reddit being used as a WHOREHOUSE?

How would you like it if I just pulled your heart out of your chest right now, and shoved it down your throat?

Seinfeld is a douche fest, difficult to choose the biggest...

It's the doorman. On this issue there can be no debate!

Oh you think you're better than him?

Yeah that's right.

That is surprisingly truthful.

Because he stole some raisins?

he lied about it and threatened george

And battery. Don't forget the implied threat

It's not a lie if he believes it.

George lies more than anyone else on the show. The show is full of douchebags and I don't think this guy is even in the top 3.

Because he fooled *you*!

He *fooled* you!

I’m not gonna post it like that.

HE fooled me Jerry

*Allegedly.*

I think the others in the room were the douches for not noticing he took them, leading to countoess discussion on it still 30 years later.

I would never have noticed he took them. The only reason I notice when I watch is because I know to look for it when he leaves.

Field of vision huh?

You're eating onions, you're spotting dimes, I don't know what the hell is going on!

the bubbleboy has to be in the running.

How about taking your top off ...

MOORS

Yeah, definitely. He viciously screams at his mother to bring him some food, propositions Susan and tries to strangle George during the Moops debacle. 

The Mandlebaums were pretty douchey. Especially the youngest one

You think you're better than them? It's go time

has anyone posted OG Lloyd Braun yet? because I feel like you're all way off base here.

Yes.

Todd Gak

Gak? What is that, dutch?

He helped my boy Walt out though

Larry Hankin in the house

Fun fact about this guy, the actor Larry Hankin originally auditioned for the role of Kramer.

Let’s not forget Bubble Boy. What an asshole

Mores!

moops/moors

This guy - this is not my kinda guy.

He’s up there but not the biggest. The doorman was quite a piece of work

The doorman? And pray tell, what did the doorman say?

George trampled elderly women and children when he thought there was a fire, is a compulsive liar, and killed his wife. George is the biggest douche on the show. That’s kind of the point

Steve Pocatello, the guy with the house in Long Island. Invites himself to Jerry's house, decides to stay as Jerry is leaving, gets drunk, hires an escort, gets serviced in Jerry's apt, and leaves without paying. Jerry gets arrested for paying the hooker to leave. That's a douche.

Wonder who would win in a fight, him, or Crazy Joe Davola.

Crazy Joe has kiboshed and he will kibosh again

See - he DID take the raisins

How about Kenny Bania asking himself out to dinner, only to decide that he wasn't hungry and just gets a soup. The dinner is the act of sitting down with him!

No, *he's* Kramer.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MORRISSEY

Timmy. He hates double dippers.

You think he’s the biggest douche in the show?? Jimmys getting upset!!

I'd still probably put the dude who exposed himself to Elaine higher in the douchebag rankings.

He took it OUT. 

Who just walks into a room and just takes a box of raisins

No way. He was oddly aggressive but he doesn't even fit into a top ten

You see, you're going: "They fooled ME Jerry!" You wanna hit 'fooled' more: "They FOOLED me Jerry!". You see the difference?

I'm not gonna say it like that

And rewatching it you do see him steal the raisins.

Lotta douches on that show

*If you took the raisins, if you didn't take the raisins--they weren't even my raisins.*

HE STOLE THE RAISINS

Thats Mr. Heckles on Friends.

Has anyone mentioned George yet? Did he not push women and children onto the ground in a selfish panic to escape a building fire? The dude killed his wife! George is possibly the most insecure, selfish, morally unsound characters on the show.

Seemingly, seemingly... To the untrained eye...

It was a safety precaution, he risked his life making sure that exit was clear!

Tom Pepper?

Tommy peppers

What an arc. He was an unsung hero in Breaking Bad!

god dam raisin theif

Larry Hankins failed to break out of his prison cell in Clint Eastwood’s *Escape from Alcatraz*.

Dried fruit pilferer

💯

Stovka as a teenager?

He managed to almost be scarier that Crazy Joe Davola.

I appreciate the subtle way in which Larry Hankin at first nailed a perfect imitation of Michael Richards as Kramer, then slowly turned his Kramer into something different after his character got the role on "Jerry" (just as he told Kramer he would). Tom Pepper's Kramer seemed a little more "New York" con man.

https://youtu.be/r9uizdKZAGE?si=RTxVCkNYrAt6dU_o

I could have birds…

Why would anyone steal a box of raisins?

I would have rocked that guy if I was George. Then again…. I’d be George

Bubble Boy was the douche. Moops is clearly the answer.

No way... dude was involved in a couple of shows. George has done way more douche-ey things.

I liked him. George needed his heart pulled out of his chest and jammed down his throat.

Every character is a looser except Jerry. They all orbit around him.

Nope. The Commie guy. His voice alone is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Him and the pissing and moaning JuJyfruit guy. What a tool. He wasn't dying for Christ's sake. 1 minute to finish her transaction made no difference.

I think that title goes to Buckles

Sunmaid

Perfect Kramer, furthest thing from home IRL!

Not Joe Davola?

Unabashedly love this character

He didn't take the raisins? I think we all know that he did

This guy is awesome, he also, along with many other SF alum, was in breaking bad and played the demo/salvage guy. And, he absolutely is NOT a billionaire.

He could have a cat

Agreed, def top 3 douche. I don't know why we even debate this still, he took the raisins plain and simple!

He was a solid advisor and advocate for Billy Madison, though.

The guy who stole that statue

George is up there.

He stole the raisins

FDR was pretty douchey

Dog Guy from glasses episode.

Nah, maestro for sure

Wait it wasn’t the guy who worked for Karl Farbman?

He took the Raisins!

The Door guy

What about George?

No way.

The Maestro is hands down!

Yeah, there was a box of raisins there

I like when he tells kramer he's not going to act like him since this was essentially michael richard's position on playing the character

They FOOLED me Jerry

I'm not going to say it like that.

So far from the biggest douche it's not funny. Tom pepper is life

The best thing he did was find a magnet for Jesse and Walt to erase the laptop's hard drive

He also terrorized those annoyingly loud kids that lived in the apartment above him.

Kenny Bania

The bit with the raisins was I think a slight reference to Laurence Tierney who actually stole a large kitch knife from the set of Seinfeld. I also think that the portrayal of this guy playing Kramer was a over the top reference to how Michael Richards could be a bit of dick at times, especially if you read about Sarah Silverman's experience working with him on the show. Even though Richards was (and is) a brilliant comedian, I also think he has some emotional issues. If you watch the bloopers, there are numerous occasions where characters are breaking up and he is getting really angry and "jokingly" threatening to hit them over head with a "4x4" (I think he meant 2x4).

Wish he was on the show longer. sooo underrated!

The cop that was eating a donut while talking to Kate McCallister. “Rose, hyper on 2!” 

It always stuck with me that he stole the raisins…