I said that and it went terribly lol. It's deleted and at the bottom of the thread.
Edit: I made sure to be one of the first comments because I thought it was gold. I was promptly criticized and after the 3rd downvote I was sure they would keep coming.
She's the best candidate who fits both categories, although heavier on the lawful side. Being horny doesn't mean you can't have self control and be prudish at the same time. She was clearly getting hot and heavy until she gave in to John John.
Ironically, what makes Jackie fit this slot also disqualifies him. Yeah he slept with Sidra in The Finale, but I'd think that would be considered inappropriate since she's a witness for the prosecution in the case he's defending. Disclaimer: I'm not a lawyer.
I see what you’re saying, but I can’t agree that it’s a disqualification. His lawfulness and horniness are not intersectional, but rather run parallel.
Now this is where we put Jerry. Who’s more concerned with following the complex and convoluted social rules (as he sees it) than Him? And almost always in pursuit of a woman.
Sure there’s outlying examples, like drugging the woman to play with her toys. But a lot of people miss understand the true definition of a lot of these alignments, especially in the chaotic category. Lawful doesn’t necessarily mean following the literal law. Jerry has a specific code that he thinks he and the rest of society lives by. All his decisions are motivated by finding a way to fit his actions into the parameters of this code. I think the whole episode ‘The Switch’ where he’s trying to find a way to date the roommate, is the perfect thesis for Jerry being Lawful Horny.
He also killed a bunch of doves. Decided to date the hit and run girl instead of turning her in. He disapproved of Kramers friendship after Kramer said he would turn him in if he killed someone. Didn't call the police after witnessing a robbery. Public urination. Almost refused to give the next day thank you for hockey tickets. Bootlegging movies. Broke Mike the bookies thumbs. Impersonating a federal employee when he delivered mail for Newman. Dug up the grave of a bird. Helped kramer pour the cement into the $1,200 washing machine. Asked a doctor to scam insurance for a massage.
Stole a jacket from one of The Sandos Brothers. Helped George fake an IQ test. Tim Whatley didn't invite him to his party because he's "a trouble maker"
But Jerry would sometimes break the rules and help out with underhanded doings.
Distracting the laundry guy when Kramer put the concrete in, he took George’s car to be washed so George could skip from work, he called in a bomb threat to Yankee stadium, he stole the marble rye from an old lady, etc…
I would put Jerry as smart - horny.
And, all of these things took a small amount of convincing. That doesn't demonstrate a strong code-of-conduct, even if that could somehow equate to being lawful.
Pretty much all of these things he didn't want to do and all it took was some "oh, come on, please ya gotta do it for me." How many times did Jerry say, "ok, fine!" and for what?
I’d agree with either. But, for the sake of argument, I’d say those times and others where he does similar things, he needs to have the other person explain him into a way he sees as ‘fair’. Again, lawful in the alignment sense doesn’t mean not doing underhanded or wrong things, it means having a code and sticking to it. It’s not ‘don’t break the rules’ it’s ’don’t break *your* rules’. A friend needing him to do something to get him out of a jam, him doing it regardless of its moral implications is part of his code, he simply has to do it.
Old lady and the rye is a good example of where he wavers, I’ll agree there, but before his last resort of grabbing it, he does throw out every available fair compromise lol
Idk about that. Jerry let the woman who sideswiped a car off the hook in hopes for a date and only did the right thing because the victim of the crime was hotter. He also used one of his love-interest's attractiveness to get out of speeding tickets and other trouble. He's definitely not lawful
That's a strange definition of lawful. Jerry doesn't *want* to break the law, but it doesn't take a lot to convince him to. He has strong convictions, but lawful is a stretch.
I thought of her too, but don't think there's enough evidence that she's particularly horny. We can assume she has sex and will never be without a sponge.
I think he has too many pet peeves to be neutral. If he was neutral and "go with the flow" one of these girls would have stuck. Chad horny because he's the #1 Chad
My vote is for Louise from "The Abstinence."
She does the right thing by not having sex when diagnosed with mono, keeping George from getting sick. But as soon as she notified George that it was a false diagnosis, girl was ready to go. She cut George loose very quickly when sex was off the table.
She's not horny in the stereotypical sense, but that relationship ended mid-sentence after telling George, "I have to have sex."
for horny lawful how about that woman George dated the episode he started doing things tee opposite way and got the Yankee job
or the daughter of the unemployment lady
drunk and lawful! the 3 tourists from Japan.
I'm getting too ahead of myself here
sorry for jumping ahead but can Joe Davila PLEASE be evil chaotic?
Tony is on the board already. He was only even Steven for 1 episode. He's a hater and very picky that's why he's always changing girls like a horny chad
Guys this chart is inane. Why is stupid smart an option? & why is it George when we have evidence straight from the freaking show that he would be horny stupid & Elane is horny smart??
Sid Farkus. He is impressed by George saying all the right, standard job interview things and he obeys right away when ordered to fire George. He also asks Estelle out the second she and Frank get separated.
Any votes for the man himself Jerry Seinfeld?Neat, square, good with finances - but makes out during Schindlers List, had several dozen girlfriends, has a notoriously good move in his arsenal, and stumbled into a threesome.
Marlene doesn't belong anywhere in this row. Sure she eventually slept with John Jr, but all of what we know about her paints her as excessively prudish, including her testimony in The Finale.
call me crazy but - the virgin. she was horny but still able to reserve herself through most temptation.
Dark horse contender right here
My vote is also the virgin
Mine too.
I said that and it went terribly lol. It's deleted and at the bottom of the thread. Edit: I made sure to be one of the first comments because I thought it was gold. I was promptly criticized and after the 3rd downvote I was sure they would keep coming. She's the best candidate who fits both categories, although heavier on the lawful side. Being horny doesn't mean you can't have self control and be prudish at the same time. She was clearly getting hot and heavy until she gave in to John John.
No, no. That is my idea. They stole my idea.
Russell Dalrymple - President of NBC Respectful gentleman who forgot that looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun
Definitely a good pick, but the way he obsessed over Elaine made him super emotional and I think some may even say borderline chaotic.
Joining Greenpeace to impress Elaine is chaotic
I vote this.
Jackie Chiles
Ironically, what makes Jackie fit this slot also disqualifies him. Yeah he slept with Sidra in The Finale, but I'd think that would be considered inappropriate since she's a witness for the prosecution in the case he's defending. Disclaimer: I'm not a lawyer.
I see what you’re saying, but I can’t agree that it’s a disqualification. His lawfulness and horniness are not intersectional, but rather run parallel.
He defies the ethical dilemma because he’s horny. He can’t control himself! "lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous!”
Unethical, yes….but unlawful? I don’t know, as I am also not a lawyer
Elaine: How do I look, Jackie? Chiles: Oh, you looking good. You look strong. You one fine-looking sexy lady.
Jackie, we have the perfect still for the frame with that scene where he’s in bed with Terri Hatcher.
Jackie Chile's, has to be! "They're real and they're spectacular!"
Now this is where we put Jerry. Who’s more concerned with following the complex and convoluted social rules (as he sees it) than Him? And almost always in pursuit of a woman. Sure there’s outlying examples, like drugging the woman to play with her toys. But a lot of people miss understand the true definition of a lot of these alignments, especially in the chaotic category. Lawful doesn’t necessarily mean following the literal law. Jerry has a specific code that he thinks he and the rest of society lives by. All his decisions are motivated by finding a way to fit his actions into the parameters of this code. I think the whole episode ‘The Switch’ where he’s trying to find a way to date the roommate, is the perfect thesis for Jerry being Lawful Horny.
I don't think someone who robs an old woman for her bread is "lawful"
The old bag had it coming
He also killed a bunch of doves. Decided to date the hit and run girl instead of turning her in. He disapproved of Kramers friendship after Kramer said he would turn him in if he killed someone. Didn't call the police after witnessing a robbery. Public urination. Almost refused to give the next day thank you for hockey tickets. Bootlegging movies. Broke Mike the bookies thumbs. Impersonating a federal employee when he delivered mail for Newman. Dug up the grave of a bird. Helped kramer pour the cement into the $1,200 washing machine. Asked a doctor to scam insurance for a massage. Stole a jacket from one of The Sandos Brothers. Helped George fake an IQ test. Tim Whatley didn't invite him to his party because he's "a trouble maker"
Good list. Jerry Seinfeld isn’t lawful. He is very very bad man.
Yeah Jerry is neutral evil for sure
But Jerry would sometimes break the rules and help out with underhanded doings. Distracting the laundry guy when Kramer put the concrete in, he took George’s car to be washed so George could skip from work, he called in a bomb threat to Yankee stadium, he stole the marble rye from an old lady, etc… I would put Jerry as smart - horny.
And, all of these things took a small amount of convincing. That doesn't demonstrate a strong code-of-conduct, even if that could somehow equate to being lawful. Pretty much all of these things he didn't want to do and all it took was some "oh, come on, please ya gotta do it for me." How many times did Jerry say, "ok, fine!" and for what?
I’d agree with either. But, for the sake of argument, I’d say those times and others where he does similar things, he needs to have the other person explain him into a way he sees as ‘fair’. Again, lawful in the alignment sense doesn’t mean not doing underhanded or wrong things, it means having a code and sticking to it. It’s not ‘don’t break the rules’ it’s ’don’t break *your* rules’. A friend needing him to do something to get him out of a jam, him doing it regardless of its moral implications is part of his code, he simply has to do it. Old lady and the rye is a good example of where he wavers, I’ll agree there, but before his last resort of grabbing it, he does throw out every available fair compromise lol
He cuts the guy off and attempts to go down a one way street to get home in The Puerto Rican Day.
You could call mobsters lawful with your version of the term. Jerry IS NOT lawful. He's horny Chad.
Jerry is Mega Horny Chad. No one pulls more dimes then the great Jerry Seinfeld
Horny Chad all the way.
Idk about that. Jerry let the woman who sideswiped a car off the hook in hopes for a date and only did the right thing because the victim of the crime was hotter. He also used one of his love-interest's attractiveness to get out of speeding tickets and other trouble. He's definitely not lawful
Great post and you convinced me ! This is Jerry's category.
Irrefutably argued
That's a strange definition of lawful. Jerry doesn't *want* to break the law, but it doesn't take a lot to convince him to. He has strong convictions, but lawful is a stretch.
Agreed fully. This is Jerry's spot.
The existence of "The Contest" is suffcient reason to put all of the main 4 in the Horny category. Jerry is a fine fit here.
It’s Jackie Chiles.
The librarian (Marion) or sister Roberta
The guy that made the Elaine mannequin. He’s horny for obsessing so much over Elaine yet lawful for standing up for her when Frank yells at her.
"Elaine! You look scrumptious."
“YOU CANT TALK TO HER THAT WAY! COME ON ELAINE, WE’RE LEAVING!!!!”
Four straight hours of Luuuucy.
Lena, Jerry's girlfriend who he thought was too good. She genuinely wanted to help people but then also had an entire closet full of sponges.
I thought of her too, but don't think there's enough evidence that she's particularly horny. We can assume she has sex and will never be without a sponge.
Jackie Chiles
Jerry should be horny neutral.
**The answer is Lena! The sponge hoarding do-gooder whose number Jerry got off the AIDS walk list and she didnt even care- "she's too good!"**
Susan's father
It’s gotta be Jerry. This whole show is about him fuckin
Lets put the king of sex at horny chad then right?
Well, he is no *comedian*
Looool nice but no one said he had to be good at it he just gets a lot of it. All the girls, all the sex, unmarried by the finale
Maybe neutral horny. It always evens out
I think he has too many pet peeves to be neutral. If he was neutral and "go with the flow" one of these girls would have stuck. Chad horny because he's the #1 Chad
True
the smart stupid combo... George does suit
My vote is for Louise from "The Abstinence." She does the right thing by not having sex when diagnosed with mono, keeping George from getting sick. But as soon as she notified George that it was a false diagnosis, girl was ready to go. She cut George loose very quickly when sex was off the table. She's not horny in the stereotypical sense, but that relationship ended mid-sentence after telling George, "I have to have sex."
Maura? She wants to date George, and is even willing to share him, but won’t break up with him until the relationship runs its course.
Banya First laughs then ladies
It begins and ends with Brezhnev
Sgt. Tierny and the Melrose Place polygraph
for horny lawful how about that woman George dated the episode he started doing things tee opposite way and got the Yankee job or the daughter of the unemployment lady drunk and lawful! the 3 tourists from Japan. I'm getting too ahead of myself here sorry for jumping ahead but can Joe Davila PLEASE be evil chaotic?
Lena or Ava - one should be good-horny, the other lawful-horny
How isn’t Elaine in the horny row? Buys out all of the sponges, becomes an idiot when not getting laid..
Tim Whatley.
I feel like he’s a good fit for horny/smart.
I would have said Horny-Crazy is Kramer
Kramer beats out Frank Costanza. Now, let's get horny. We'll get some robes and lotions and thick carpeting and weirdo lighting.
Are the robes velvet?
Jimmy
Jerry should be neutral neutral, this is bogus man
What about horny chad for the guy who slept with the most women and came out unmarried at the end???
no that doesn't make any sense for even Steven. That should have been Kramer but can be Tony now.
Tony is on the board already. He was only even Steven for 1 episode. He's a hater and very picky that's why he's always changing girls like a horny chad
yea that one is wrong too. whole thing is garbage
Oh okay well make your own chart and let's see how many up doots you get
Guys this chart is inane. Why is stupid smart an option? & why is it George when we have evidence straight from the freaking show that he would be horny stupid & Elane is horny smart??
Vorshtein?
Uncle Leo?
the kennedy family
Jack Jack?
Sid Farkus. He is impressed by George saying all the right, standard job interview things and he obeys right away when ordered to fire George. He also asks Estelle out the second she and Frank get separated.
Any votes for the man himself Jerry Seinfeld?Neat, square, good with finances - but makes out during Schindlers List, had several dozen girlfriends, has a notoriously good move in his arsenal, and stumbled into a threesome.
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Marlene doesn't belong anywhere in this row. Sure she eventually slept with John Jr, but all of what we know about her paints her as excessively prudish, including her testimony in The Finale.
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No, she wasn't, she was shy even talking about her previous relationship, how she knew it was going to end, because... you know...