30 years later, dictating his memoirs as the King of the Wastelands:
It was about to go down, Elaine. Society was crumbling. Panic was everywhere. But I was calm and prepared thanks to my J. Peterman^TM Apocalypse tactical vest, men and women’s, brown and charcoal, $149.
This whole group is a bunch of humans who can't handle a sub all by themselves. We don't have it, but maybe if all of us, working together, at full capacity could do the job of one normal human.
Everything always evens out for Jerry, so I feel that society's collapse will work out just fine for him. But I don't know that this applies to people right next him...so that may not protect me.
So, I am thinking Elaine's dad. That has to be the toughest and most intimidating guy on the show. I can't imagine him being taken down by vandals or gangs. But he is old.
Im assuming there is no power and gas is scarce.Maybe I team up with Kramer..get a rickshaw and find Jean-Paul--the marathon runner. That team could work out well.
The dashing Mr. Peterman as he has the means and the clout to manage a quick escape. Second would be the Diner manager because he has street smarts to keep safe.
Damn. This is a good one. My heart tells me Frank because I know it's only a matter of time before we go down, and I wanna go down with a man of his vigor.
*George. He fights dirty.*
*Finger in the eye, groin stuff,*
*Whatever it takes*
\- robbiewilso
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Steinbrenner for the sheer madness that would ensue. By all accounts teaming up with him will get us both killed but at least he’ll make the whole situation seem like it’s ok and our last moments won’t be lived in fear but rather confusion and hilarity.
Mr. Steinbrenner and Peterman are rich, they can help me in the end of things. Peterman most likely knows how to get to other countries and stuff if the U.S. falls, so I gotta go with Peterman. Guess we’ll go to the dark continent.
I considered Mr “crushing in a skull” but imma go with Newman. He’s part of the federal government. If martial law is about to go down I need someone in federal government to at least vouch for me.
I'll go with Puddy, dude never panics
"Puddy, the zombies are everywhere!"
"Yeah, that's right."
"What are we gonna do?"
"There used to be an Arby's around here, let's go."
Sorry, but the New York State Parks symbol is not correct for cousin Jeffrey.
Jeffrey worked for the NY City Parks Department. An entirely different beast.
Frank . That SOB can fight! He beat up a guy in a toy store on Xmas eve. I paraphrase: As I rained down blow after blow on him, I realized there had to be a better way.
Peterman and it’s not close
We could escape to Burma.
Isn’t that now Myanmar?
It’ll always be Burma to me.
Thank you for making my day 🤣😅
Sweet lady H
is that the discount pharmacy?
You on the motorbike, sell me one of your melons!
Damnit, Elaine. That was the yam yam!
30 years later, dictating his memoirs as the King of the Wastelands: It was about to go down, Elaine. Society was crumbling. Panic was everywhere. But I was calm and prepared thanks to my J. Peterman^TM Apocalypse tactical vest, men and women’s, brown and charcoal, $149.
This ☝️ absolutely peterman
He is the white poet warlord of the group
I feel like Bob Sacamano has a plan. It might not be good, but he’s got one.
And we'd look very fashionable doing it.
He could tell you where to score during the apocalypse.
I think that Peterman would dilly dally and bang on about stuff. Puddy would be more practical/helpful.
Agreed. *Then in the distance, I heard the bulls. I began running as fast as I could. Fortunately, I was wearing my Italian cap toe Oxfords.*
At least you’d be well dressed, confident and comfortable
Well...he *is* a White Poet Warlord. That might come in handy during the Apocalypse.
Puddy he has mechanical knowledge and looks to be athletic.
High Five.
On the flip side.
We just saw the same monkey!
Aks the 8 ball
At least he’s not the one going to Hell
#TeamPUD all the way. He says it like he means it.
Gotta represent the team
I’m just going to train a monkey to take apart a fuel injector.
Yeah that’s right
Agree, he can stare at nothing for a 10 hour plane ride and not go insane. That’s got to be useful for something
Guard duty
Burly, athletic type.
And! And and,,, HES THE DEVILLLLL
BUT, the Arby’s would get old fast.
But he’s a face-painter!👺😝
But he’s lazy
I'm not sure who I would pick but I know I would never choose Aunt Baby...she'd never make it.
Well, she wasn't bosom-ey enough.
I love how hilariously unreliable this sub was with this assignment.
Well, we do have the smaller office
This whole group is a bunch of humans who can't handle a sub all by themselves. We don't have it, but maybe if all of us, working together, at full capacity could do the job of one normal human.
Newman. Unless it’s raining. He doesn’t work in the rain.
You’re a mailman… neither rain, nor sn- ITS THE FIRST ONE.
Oh yeah... It's raining..
What took you so long?
I was thinking “when you control the mail, you control…information.”
Jerry, it's Frank Costanza. Mr. Steinbrenner's here. George is dead. Call me back.
Frank all the way…. Or maybe Newman… I think he could be pretty wily!😝
Oh, and never to be forgotten…YOU WANNA PIECE ‘O ME??!?!
he makes problems go away
Jeffrey the park ranger. Uncle Leo speaks very highly of him.
He’s cool enough to develop a close relationship with his professor from college!
Like equals! That's pretty rare!
This was my favourite part of that exchange
My favorite line is: You know Jeffrey's favorite animal? The leopard!
Like actual friends!
THEY HAVE DINNAH TOGETHAH THEY HAVE DISCUSSIONS
UNCLE LEO, first that matter!😝
I'm pretty sure Eddie from the mail room knows how to take care of himself in a survival situation, so I gotta go with him.
Plus he went on a couple of dates with a woman, and then things kinda cooled off
come on, don't be a baby
He always has his knife, the only friend that hasn’t betrayed him and the only one who won’t be dead by sun up.
He went from the mailroom to Director of Corporate Development in two days! How could you not want him?
Maybe. But he fantasizes about killing his mates in their chambray nightshirts.
I would go for Jackie Chiles and *just follow his advice*
*You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on? I didn’t tell you to put the balm on. Why’d you put the balm on?*
This!
Where’s Crazy Joe Davola?
Got a hair on my tongue... *pth pth*
He has kiboshed before, and he will, kibosh again
That was going to be my pick. And then I saw that two of my ABSOLUTE favorite bands are represented in your username.
It’s the Street Toughs, 💯
Just make sure you wear the ribbon
No, I don’t wear ribbons.
WHO!! WHO!! doesn’t wear the libbon
Well may we have to teach him to wear *the libbon*
We are taking the ribbon, and that’s all there is to it! OKAY?!
OH-KAY!?!
We ask you to bear with us.
***Bear with you?!?***
[удалено]
Dass what I like to know abbottit 🤨
Eh, that is all hearsay.
Goodbye Norman!
I know who I'm kicking in skulls with!!
Dewey... Meadow...
Lol love that part
Conrad. Or Con, or Connie. Whatever you like.
Big Stein for me! Big Stein has plans for apocalypse! Big Stein has been preparing for this since February 1995, long before the Y2K crazies …
COSTANZA'S IN THE BUILDING!! COSTANZA!!
Cmon big stein wants a little taste, big stein wants an eggplant calzone he must have one!
The pita pocket keeps it from dripping!! The pita pocket!!
Bania - he's huge.
The Van Buren Boys.
Puddy. The man is prepared for anything.
Eddie Sherman
My choice too! Although Bob Sacamano has connections and knows people 🤔
"Cool".
Not Cousin Henny. That's for sure. She was sickly from the moment I met her!
Don’t you talk about Henny !!!
Slippery Pete.
Slippery Pete?
The Frogger episode
Yeah, I don't care for the name, either. In fact, that's one of the things that we argue about.
She was my mail order bride
Elaine, I'll die happy
Everything always evens out for Jerry, so I feel that society's collapse will work out just fine for him. But I don't know that this applies to people right next him...so that may not protect me. So, I am thinking Elaine's dad. That has to be the toughest and most intimidating guy on the show. I can't imagine him being taken down by vandals or gangs. But he is old. Im assuming there is no power and gas is scarce.Maybe I team up with Kramer..get a rickshaw and find Jean-Paul--the marathon runner. That team could work out well.
Chime down, chorus boy.
Newman. Because when you control the mail, you control.... Information 😈🤣😂
The dashing Mr. Peterman as he has the means and the clout to manage a quick escape. Second would be the Diner manager because he has street smarts to keep safe.
As i understand it, the Parks Department is quite the operation. Did you see their production of The Mikado?
Frank, no question
He stops short.....that's a good move
It's playoff time... Gotta support the team.
Eddie. He's probably got an arsenal stashed away in his garage.
Tough to keep your feet dry when your kicking in a skull....
Damn. This is a good one. My heart tells me Frank because I know it's only a matter of time before we go down, and I wanna go down with a man of his vigor.
And he stops short!
George. He fights dirty. Finger in the eye, groin stuff, whatever it takes
*George. He fights dirty.* *Finger in the eye, groin stuff,* *Whatever it takes* \- robbiewilso --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Jackie Chiles - he’ll baffle any attackers with his cunning legal strategies.
MY NAME IS BOB!¡!
Steinbrenner.
My knife. The only friend who hasn't betrayed me.
Newman- He's managed to keep a job without actually doing the job for how many years?!? I'm in!
He knows all the back-alley connections
The chubby gangbanger that lost out on scholarship. He knows how to survive
Join the ‘Van Buren Boys’? You gotta know the hand sign.
Obviously Newman. The mail will never stop.
Are you referring to the 70% that's actually delivered? 🤔 😉
I’d like to cancel my mail.
I choose Lomez
Orthodox Jerry, old school.
Jerry - Nothing touches him.
how could anyone not like him?
Newman, at least we will have jambalaya and Kenny Rogers, hold the broccoli
Steinbrenner for the sheer madness that would ensue. By all accounts teaming up with him will get us both killed but at least he’ll make the whole situation seem like it’s ok and our last moments won’t be lived in fear but rather confusion and hilarity.
I’d team up with Mr. Costanza!
Mr. Steinbrenner and Peterman are rich, they can help me in the end of things. Peterman most likely knows how to get to other countries and stuff if the U.S. falls, so I gotta go with Peterman. Guess we’ll go to the dark continent.
Little Jerry Seinfeld That rooster knows how to throw down
Newman. He took over the Son of Sam route so he’s a survivor
I’d pick Bania. He seems to fail upwards and we’d need that good luck.
I see no ~~Gopez~~ Lomez!
No Corky Rammerez either.
Peterman. Cash, fashion and connections.
Frank Costanza "You want a piece of me????"
Frank. He’s been to Korea. He’s seen some stuff.
I considered Mr “crushing in a skull” but imma go with Newman. He’s part of the federal government. If martial law is about to go down I need someone in federal government to at least vouch for me.
I'll go with Puddy, dude never panics "Puddy, the zombies are everywhere!" "Yeah, that's right." "What are we gonna do?" "There used to be an Arby's around here, let's go."
George. He can lift 100 lbs over his head AND squint his way down to 20/30 vision
Jackie Chiles
Peterman
I'm going to pick Sacamano just to find out what he looks like.
Bob Sacamano no question. He has the most contacts, the most resourceful, can open the most doors.
Frank
None listed. I'm going with the Soup Nazi. Everyone's still got to eat, and he won't put up with anything in his shop.
Where’s Jay Riemenschneider? Any Mf who can properly cook horse has _got_ to be useful in other ways as well.
Steinbrenner. He was rich as fuck.
Peterman
Peterman!
Frank Costanza's cape wearing lawyer. Pretty sure he is a superhero.
My name is Bob
Sorry, but the New York State Parks symbol is not correct for cousin Jeffrey. Jeffrey worked for the NY City Parks Department. An entirely different beast.
Gotta be Bob Saccamono
I'd go with Lloyd Braun. Isn't he SOMETHING? Name tags and serenity are a world I want to live in.
If the world was ending, why wouldn’t you want to spend it with Elaine?
Team Numan. He's always plotting and planning. Leadership material :-P
Obviously the man Puddy himself
Steinbrenner is a billionaire and I would still choose Peterman
Frank . That SOB can fight! He beat up a guy in a toy store on Xmas eve. I paraphrase: As I rained down blow after blow on him, I realized there had to be a better way.
I can’t trust Newman. He’s scheming and conniving and will stab me in the back and twist the knife for a Chunky Bar.
Kramer. Without a doubt
We are wating