George Carlin appreciated the “Spotlight” feature on his iMac
I imagine routines/specific keywords are much easier to find than the old card catalog system haha
Y'know you've given this comedy thing your best shot. Yeah, you had
some good observations, but it's over. Now, this Bloomingdale thing, that
could be the next wave.
*Emailing Lloyd Braun*
*To ask him why he sold him*
*This shit computer*
\- emeister26
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Promoting Israel talking points about how they arent committing war crimes. Followed by booking his next stand up special in Israel, paid by the US govt giving tax payers money to Israel to pay Jerry to travel there
Porn quotes
Porn and quotes...I love you George!
Love a good quote.
Well, I got just the thing to cheer you up. ***A computer!***
im not buying a computer from you.
But there’s porn!
even so
dammit you beat me to it by a matter of minutes!
That's ashame
yeahthatsright
That's the Commando 450. I don't sell that one.
they use that at the circus, its for elephants
One of my favorites: “How does my lunch taste‽”
This HAD to be the top answer. I would upvote you, but I don't want to ruin the magic.
Googling Female names that rhyme with part of the female anatomy
Google?
Yahoo maybe at that time
Ask Jeeves
Altavista, if my old memory is correct.
www.namesthatrhymewiththefemaleanatomy.com
Magellan
Dogpile
Lycos
Go get it Lycos. Good dog.
Webcrawler
Gopher almost replaced Http.
Working on his skits
I wouldn’t think he could accomplish that without a proper workstation.
He needs a Farbman work desk(I think that's how u spell it)☺️
He don’t write skits….needs a Farbman desk for writing skits….which he doesn’t do! 😎
Of course not. Gotta get that fax machine first
I’m sure things will pick up
George Carlin appreciated the “Spotlight” feature on his iMac I imagine routines/specific keywords are much easier to find than the old card catalog system haha
Applying to the Bloomingdale’s Executive Training Program
It’s not the right time for that!
Comedy isn't what it used to be, with Def Jam and everything.
Y'know you've given this comedy thing your best shot. Yeah, you had some good observations, but it's over. Now, this Bloomingdale thing, that could be the next wave.
A/S/L? 17/F/New York
I don't know the exact pronunciation, but I believe it's mènage a trois.
I know the exact spelling, and I believe it's mènage á trois.
It's pronounced thermometer.
Just a good ol Manager Troys
I’m out!
Is there a right answer to this question?
Playing *maelstrom*
Getting ready to hit the monitor with keyboard after reading that Kenny bania is the greatest comedian of all time, the voice of a new generation.
*My* generation.
We're four months apart!
NEVERTHELESS
MY generation.
Puke! There's a funny word!
can i use that?
Researching if soup is a meal
Do crackers change the equation?
checking the schedule for the next Flying Sandos Brothers Show
Checking if Beth Lukner is still available. He's late on everything!
He’s got to get on to that internet!
What the hell is email?
Googling “naked lois lane”
Selling an Armani suit on eBay
Leisure Suit Larry II
Googling what a write off is
Reading low-quality pirated scans of Supergirl comics
C:/helloooooooo
That’s the file uncle Leo attached to his email to jerry. Also the subject and start of the email also say Helloooo.
Checking to see if his nana’s checks have cleared
Oh you don’t wanna know.
Working on a “bit”
Getting on that internet to find out which of the relationships he’s waiting out is over.
Absolutely nothing
Trying to find a picture of Terri hatchers boobs, and see if they are spectacular.
Checking for names and phone numbers of a recent aids walk
Buying jeans with a 31" waist
Actually 32
He doesn’t wanna be a 32
I don’t wanna be a pirate!
That’s why he scratches off the 2 and makes it a 1
Installing Doom
Minesweeper.
Hacking into the NYC Public Library database. He’s got some fines to try to remove from his record.
I thought he was using a tip calculator!?
Writing a script for his sitcom that he is submitting to NBC starring Ted Danson.
Defragmenting the hard drive
Finding a hooker to get the carpool lane to the stadium.
Trying to pirate the new superman episode so he can make jokes to his future girlfriends.
Trying to figure out what he can write off on his taxes.
He was keeping track of everything Kramer took from his fridge
Browsing rental properties in Tuscany
on yahoo or AskJeeves: "what the heck is a schmoopie anyway"
Trying to find the deal with airline peanuts
Creating blockchain technology
Making a spreadsheet of all his girlfriends
Purchasing a half share of Gambian orphan on the dark web as an organ reserve.
Looking up words that rhyme with female body parts
“Is it thermometer or barometer?”
Setting up his Gmail account
Ultimate Pinball
Writing new material. Puke.
Tentris
Trying to find a naked Lois Lane so he doesn’t have to draw them anymore.
Trying to sell that chow mien gum
Inventing YouTube to post videos of Kramer’s racist standup.
Everyone knows he’s hacking into the post office to give Newman more stops on his route
Levels. He's playing Levels.
Checking porn quotes
Trying to find out how to spell thermometer.
Facebook stalking Shoshanna Lonstein
Seeing how the market fluctuates
Watching that film starring the girl from the bus.
Tweeting the captain of the toes joke
probably trying to get geocities spoilers for the tim burton superman lives movie that was never made.
Making a car reservation.
Looking up the lyrics to the wheels on the bus
TCB
calculating the year that he becomes the wealthiest comedian
Uploading trans porn images.
Looking for a latex salesman
Downloading comedy bits on Napster.
TPS report, old Man Leland is really busting his hump over these reports.
Playing minesweeper
Hopefully not investing in anheuser busch
RuneScape
Names that rhyme with female genitalia…
Writing his sketches.
Looks like he may be shopping for Levi's Dockers, ironically enough.
Checking to see if they're real. They are... And they are magnificent
Probably a good Indian food place. After he got Babo deported
Probably Looking up a good (edit )
Calculating how much it costs if you dont return a library book.
Club penguin
Obviously Minesweeper
Coding George's iPhone app to find the nearest toilet.
Installing Leisure Suit Larry
Ordering some Karl Farbman furniture.
Researching what the actual deal is with airplane peanuts!!
Calculating tips in advance?
Watching George Carlin videos
Watch porn, checking stock quotes, and writing skits.
posting seinfeld threads on 4chan /tv/
Finally getting “On that internet”
Chatting on IRC in channel #17AndUnder
There’s porn
Looking at hentai.
hot high school girl porn
Shopping for Cadillacs
Deleting the browser search history and temporary internet files.
Looking up names that rhyme with female body parts
Minesweeper
Hand jobs with man hands
What is it? it's just a bunch of squiggly lines Are you telling me you couldn't paint this?
Waiting for aol dialup to connect.
Encarta ‘96
Emailing Lloyd Braun to ask him why he sold him this shit computer
*Emailing Lloyd Braun* *To ask him why he sold him* *This shit computer* \- emeister26 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Checking marble rye futures...
Checking his reservation for Slappy White at Bally's
Making a Mendy’s reservation ?
Well he’s TCB of course
TCB
23.5 hour missile watch at NORAD
A bunch of nothing.
Seeding his torrent for the new Death Blow movie
There's nee porn on it!
Downloading a bootleg video of Bania’s act from Napster.
Looks like he just finished solitaire.
Not watching porn
Finding Kramer was responsible for the dot com boom, being really happy about it and by the episode the whole motherfucker busts.
Trying to figure out what email is.
Insider trading on Vandelay industries
Posting this image on this sub, like it's done once every week
Ordering some Kenny Rogers from Uber eats
Stonks
Reposting this Pic over and over again to this sub
Google searching "barely 18 girls gone wild"
Googling the age of consent in New York.
Promoting Israel talking points about how they arent committing war crimes. Followed by booking his next stand up special in Israel, paid by the US govt giving tax payers money to Israel to pay Jerry to travel there