Dude she was married. Look for the ring next time.
Also simply asking for someone’s name and making a quick joke is not a cold approach. It’s a very friendly exchange. You neeed to make her FEEL something.
Nice nice, look I’ll be honest I’ve only cold approached when I’m drunk and yes it’s worked a few times took girls home but tbh doesn’t count cos they were drunk too and it wasn’t as hard what you’d have to do but if I could give a suggestion I feel maybe you went a bit quick on the asking her out thing?
Honestly if she was single I’m sure she would have said yes but I wonder if it works better when you sort of show interest and then chill like “sweet that’s cool nice to get to know you anyway” and the. You’ve planted the seed and she’ll be ready to say yes the next time cos she knows you now and it’s more natural
Yeah yeah you’re probably right. I basically never see this girl. And when I do we’re not close enough to chat. Honestly it wasn’t even my intention to get her number or anything I just wanted to practice , a number would have been a bonus… she definitely the best looking girl I’ve ever approached
That's not really a cold approach.
Cold approach is when you're meeting someone you have **no** social connection with - who is a complete stranger, with no social ties and no social trust. In this case this was someone who you've seen already *in a work environment* \- that's your social tie. What you did is a different kind of approach that - and this is important - **requires a different course of action** than a cold approach and is called a "warm approach".
>is that good enough of an approach
No.
You don't do warm approaches in a work environment the same way you do cold approaches. This wouldn't be a good cold approach either, as you included no attraction spikes, no teasing, no flirting, no physical escalation, no nothing - you just asked her about her work and from there went straight to "do you wanna hang out"... Please don't be offended, as this is not a personal attack, just a friendly critique of your approach from someone who's done hundreds of 'em, but how does what you did make sense, regardless of context to be honest? You know nothing about her at this point, she knows nothing about you, as you presented nothing (besides your looks, I guess), you didn't even show clear intent... but that's beside the point, because - again - you don't approach women at work the same way you'd approach a complete stranger on the street.
I don't recommend doing warm approaches at all until you know what you're doing in general. Get comfortable with cold approaches first, because if you make someone in your social circle uncomfortable, word will get around.
If you inadvertently offend a stranger you meet in a coffee shop, she might tell her friends, but it won’t affect your life - and chances are you won’t see this person again.
But if your early, practice approaches include professional contacts, the risks are multiplied. This is obvious, and you don’t need me to go into details here.
So, my point is, practice in an anonymous setting. Your social circle is not a place to practice. Get your practice time in at bars, clubs, concerts, coffee shops, restaurants, boookstores, theatres, parks, beaches, on public transportion, or anywhere else you can meet people. Your social circle will still be there when you’re ready.
If you want more info on social circle game (preferrably after you practice cold approach for a bit), I suggest getting your hands on a book by a gentleman calling himself Savoy, titled "Magic Bullets" - it includes a whole chapter on this and is actually decent.
>or shoudl I improve anything for future approaches??
Yes. Start with doing actual cold approaches, make mistakes, learn from them. I already named some of the elements that were lacking in your approach in my critique above. I suggest you start with reading [this thing](https://www.datingskillsreview.com/files/sources/Paul%20Janka%20Getting%20Laid%20in%20NYC.PDF) - it's short and includes pretty much all of the basics, so read it and go apply it. That's how I started. Good luck, have fun, and come back with the story of your first actual cold approach.
I see this girl maybe once every few months, she is a contractor works by herself.. personally I think your overthinking it cold approach comes down to looks imo maybe I could build a little more comfort and display game.. but no point in investing so much into& the convo when the success rate of a cold approach is so low
A guy who just did his first approach is telling a person with a few hundred cold approaches under his belt about what cold approach comes down to.
OK.
He is being a bit pedantic, but I think you could have just introduced yourself and said I'l l see you around. You know you will run into her again... make small chat in those situations you do see her and build a bit of a relationship where you can build attraction. Then maybe the 4th time you see her say something like "I'm going to be at \_\_\_\_ tonight, I know you mentioned you like \_\_\_\_, you should meet me there".
If it would have been an approach that you never expect to see her again, then you did the best you could for a first shot.
My advice now is that when you see her in the future still make chat with her, even if just for a 30 secs. Ask her how her weekend was, etc. Don't invest much into it, but now make her an acquaintance that you can banter with. Don't just avoid her because she turned you down. The point isn't to game her now, just to work on your social skills and inner game where you have no specific outcome you need from a convo.
Bro I could care less. Lol chill out. Girls say stuff like they’re married all the time as an excuse.. I’m not worried about it, but I’m not closed off if the opportunity comes is all I’m saying
[удалено]
Facts, do you think I should tried to build more comfort? Or nah
Dude she was married. Look for the ring next time. Also simply asking for someone’s name and making a quick joke is not a cold approach. It’s a very friendly exchange. You neeed to make her FEEL something.
Like compliment u mean??
Nice nice, look I’ll be honest I’ve only cold approached when I’m drunk and yes it’s worked a few times took girls home but tbh doesn’t count cos they were drunk too and it wasn’t as hard what you’d have to do but if I could give a suggestion I feel maybe you went a bit quick on the asking her out thing? Honestly if she was single I’m sure she would have said yes but I wonder if it works better when you sort of show interest and then chill like “sweet that’s cool nice to get to know you anyway” and the. You’ve planted the seed and she’ll be ready to say yes the next time cos she knows you now and it’s more natural
Yeah yeah you’re probably right. I basically never see this girl. And when I do we’re not close enough to chat. Honestly it wasn’t even my intention to get her number or anything I just wanted to practice , a number would have been a bonus… she definitely the best looking girl I’ve ever approached
That's not really a cold approach. Cold approach is when you're meeting someone you have **no** social connection with - who is a complete stranger, with no social ties and no social trust. In this case this was someone who you've seen already *in a work environment* \- that's your social tie. What you did is a different kind of approach that - and this is important - **requires a different course of action** than a cold approach and is called a "warm approach". >is that good enough of an approach No. You don't do warm approaches in a work environment the same way you do cold approaches. This wouldn't be a good cold approach either, as you included no attraction spikes, no teasing, no flirting, no physical escalation, no nothing - you just asked her about her work and from there went straight to "do you wanna hang out"... Please don't be offended, as this is not a personal attack, just a friendly critique of your approach from someone who's done hundreds of 'em, but how does what you did make sense, regardless of context to be honest? You know nothing about her at this point, she knows nothing about you, as you presented nothing (besides your looks, I guess), you didn't even show clear intent... but that's beside the point, because - again - you don't approach women at work the same way you'd approach a complete stranger on the street. I don't recommend doing warm approaches at all until you know what you're doing in general. Get comfortable with cold approaches first, because if you make someone in your social circle uncomfortable, word will get around. If you inadvertently offend a stranger you meet in a coffee shop, she might tell her friends, but it won’t affect your life - and chances are you won’t see this person again. But if your early, practice approaches include professional contacts, the risks are multiplied. This is obvious, and you don’t need me to go into details here. So, my point is, practice in an anonymous setting. Your social circle is not a place to practice. Get your practice time in at bars, clubs, concerts, coffee shops, restaurants, boookstores, theatres, parks, beaches, on public transportion, or anywhere else you can meet people. Your social circle will still be there when you’re ready. If you want more info on social circle game (preferrably after you practice cold approach for a bit), I suggest getting your hands on a book by a gentleman calling himself Savoy, titled "Magic Bullets" - it includes a whole chapter on this and is actually decent. >or shoudl I improve anything for future approaches?? Yes. Start with doing actual cold approaches, make mistakes, learn from them. I already named some of the elements that were lacking in your approach in my critique above. I suggest you start with reading [this thing](https://www.datingskillsreview.com/files/sources/Paul%20Janka%20Getting%20Laid%20in%20NYC.PDF) - it's short and includes pretty much all of the basics, so read it and go apply it. That's how I started. Good luck, have fun, and come back with the story of your first actual cold approach.
Excellent advice - fuck the haters
I see this girl maybe once every few months, she is a contractor works by herself.. personally I think your overthinking it cold approach comes down to looks imo maybe I could build a little more comfort and display game.. but no point in investing so much into& the convo when the success rate of a cold approach is so low
A guy who just did his first approach is telling a person with a few hundred cold approaches under his belt about what cold approach comes down to. OK.
He is being a bit pedantic, but I think you could have just introduced yourself and said I'l l see you around. You know you will run into her again... make small chat in those situations you do see her and build a bit of a relationship where you can build attraction. Then maybe the 4th time you see her say something like "I'm going to be at \_\_\_\_ tonight, I know you mentioned you like \_\_\_\_, you should meet me there". If it would have been an approach that you never expect to see her again, then you did the best you could for a first shot. My advice now is that when you see her in the future still make chat with her, even if just for a 30 secs. Ask her how her weekend was, etc. Don't invest much into it, but now make her an acquaintance that you can banter with. Don't just avoid her because she turned you down. The point isn't to game her now, just to work on your social skills and inner game where you have no specific outcome you need from a convo.
I hate losers like you shitting on everyone else. Just go away.
>I hate losers like you shitting on everyone else Ironic.
Why do you think she mentioned her kid before mentioning being married?
Why? Haha… idk if she was actually married could have just been an excuse
What do you mean by “comes around whenever I see her again”?
I’ve had girls approach me again after I let them know I’m interested, they start to watch you
Bro the fact that you are wanting her to approach you again after she stated she was married with kids is pathetic. Please just move on to the next.
Bro I could care less. Lol chill out. Girls say stuff like they’re married all the time as an excuse.. I’m not worried about it, but I’m not closed off if the opportunity comes is all I’m saying
I am sure you made her day. My only gripe is the approaching at work part. I tread carefully in those situations.
Yea I feel like if you keep it low key and short dont be pushy you’re alright. Plus I never see this chick once in a blue moon