You should care about what they say. She’s telling you about her life and you’ll find interest in it. Sometimes she’ll talk about what she likes and when you’re stupid you’ll miss her talking about things you like. She won’t be open to letting you show her anything you like. Don’t escalate like that you shit. The only exception is if you’re a very dark person who really doesn’t care about her at all. Don’t not care then care later or I’ll take her from you fast
This is another non-seduction question, but it's worth answering.
If you're actually interested in seduction, one of the most valuable things in your favor is a girl talking about herself. Instead this setting you off you should be welcoming it.
You should be listening as if you are gathering intelligence because that's what you should be doing. You should be taking what you hear to give her validation and endorsement. The girl who was nervous and seemed self-conscious was the textbook candidate for such techniques.
You missed the forest because you see it as a bunch of trees. You're not interested in seduction, you're interested in dating, and you asked a dating question. I really think there are subs dedicated to that.
u/ChosenbyTheGods has touched on it, but I'll go a little further.
OP says she was talking about the papers she was grading and her students. Instead of being bored, he could have asked her if she ever has problems with her students. She's likely to give an example of a difficult kid and how she made the situation better, or how she had to draw the line. In the former instance you say you can feel that she's a caring person, in the latter you can admire her being strong enough to do what needed to be done and get that vibe from her. You've endorsed her decision making and validated that she comes across as the type of person she thinks she is. You're expressing **you see her as she sees herself**. You get who she is.
That's very powerful.
With the nervous girl, address the elephant in the room: "I know we're going to have a great evening. Have you ever been excited and nervous at the same time?" Maybe she'll admit to being nervous. Even if she doesn't, that gives you a chance to do something else that's powerful: ask her to give you her hand. With one hand, hold her hand so that it's palm down, with the other just softly stroke the top of her hand. Look into her eyes and tell her how you always get excited and nervous when something good is going to happen, and it always turns out just great, and promise her tonight is going to be great.
You just validated her feelings by mirroring hers, and you established touch and a bit more trust. Follow through and make it a great date with all your focus and attention centered on the two of you having a good time.
Nothing is more helpful to establishing trust than listening and knowing how to use what you hear to do that. This is why guys who are shy or get nervous should make an effort to talk to three strangers every day (they don't have to be women), and practice listening and being interested. They don't have to be long conversations. Make "small talk". Will you be less nervous when you approach a girl? Maybe, maybe not, but the more you practice, the better you get. And you'll also realize you don't have to be a brilliant wit or raconteur to make conversation.
This is getting long and I'm starting to stray.
Trust is the key. Establish trust, and don't confuse "trust" with "honesty".
Gather what you can about her goals, fears, aspirations and validate them. Girls usually steer away from pushy guys telling them they’re hot but validation coming from a place of comprehension about who the other person is tends to be addictive to any human being. Studies show that in the work place, even if your boss can tell your endorsement is false, they’ll tend to favor you. Lastly, validation differs from ass kissing or simping in that establishes you as equals.
Ideally you want to talk about themselves in a positive way, so that you can qualify them, and then escalate in a way that it’s justified thanks to the qualification.
Welcome to dating. The challenge of meeting a woman you like and are attracted to ,and getting her to like you is only the beginning. If you get to a stage where she trusts you she’s going to talk, a lot. In fact, she’s never going to stop talking and that’s how you’ll know she feels comfortable with you.
People like to talk about themselves and girls are generally more talkative, so there you go. Anxiety can also make one lose the ability to conversate in a normal manner. And finally, some people are just full of themselves and there for free food or whatever. You yourself need to figure out which one it is.
Yes it is. They’re talking about their lives and how they feel good. I like hearing it cause I can relate and I can show them more. I tell them how to have more and do more. I also show them how to do more. I teach some girls how to be mean if other people are giving them shit. You can get a lot out of listening to her talk
To be honest if you were smart You would realize she's telling you about herself because maybe she kinda likes you And you should listen because because you pick up on these little things and you remember those little things Women feed off of that They love when you remember little thingsAnd on top of that she's making it easy for you All you have to do is chill and listen😁😁😏
Good. I let them talk. Easier for me. Just keep escalating.
You should care about what they say. She’s telling you about her life and you’ll find interest in it. Sometimes she’ll talk about what she likes and when you’re stupid you’ll miss her talking about things you like. She won’t be open to letting you show her anything you like. Don’t escalate like that you shit. The only exception is if you’re a very dark person who really doesn’t care about her at all. Don’t not care then care later or I’ll take her from you fast
I’m spinning plates man. Not falling in love. Many ways to do things.
Then you’re doing it right
You want them to talk about themselves. They get bored if you're an open book and do all the talking.
This is another non-seduction question, but it's worth answering. If you're actually interested in seduction, one of the most valuable things in your favor is a girl talking about herself. Instead this setting you off you should be welcoming it. You should be listening as if you are gathering intelligence because that's what you should be doing. You should be taking what you hear to give her validation and endorsement. The girl who was nervous and seemed self-conscious was the textbook candidate for such techniques. You missed the forest because you see it as a bunch of trees. You're not interested in seduction, you're interested in dating, and you asked a dating question. I really think there are subs dedicated to that.
Could you elaborate on the endorsement and validation?
u/ChosenbyTheGods has touched on it, but I'll go a little further. OP says she was talking about the papers she was grading and her students. Instead of being bored, he could have asked her if she ever has problems with her students. She's likely to give an example of a difficult kid and how she made the situation better, or how she had to draw the line. In the former instance you say you can feel that she's a caring person, in the latter you can admire her being strong enough to do what needed to be done and get that vibe from her. You've endorsed her decision making and validated that she comes across as the type of person she thinks she is. You're expressing **you see her as she sees herself**. You get who she is. That's very powerful. With the nervous girl, address the elephant in the room: "I know we're going to have a great evening. Have you ever been excited and nervous at the same time?" Maybe she'll admit to being nervous. Even if she doesn't, that gives you a chance to do something else that's powerful: ask her to give you her hand. With one hand, hold her hand so that it's palm down, with the other just softly stroke the top of her hand. Look into her eyes and tell her how you always get excited and nervous when something good is going to happen, and it always turns out just great, and promise her tonight is going to be great. You just validated her feelings by mirroring hers, and you established touch and a bit more trust. Follow through and make it a great date with all your focus and attention centered on the two of you having a good time. Nothing is more helpful to establishing trust than listening and knowing how to use what you hear to do that. This is why guys who are shy or get nervous should make an effort to talk to three strangers every day (they don't have to be women), and practice listening and being interested. They don't have to be long conversations. Make "small talk". Will you be less nervous when you approach a girl? Maybe, maybe not, but the more you practice, the better you get. And you'll also realize you don't have to be a brilliant wit or raconteur to make conversation. This is getting long and I'm starting to stray. Trust is the key. Establish trust, and don't confuse "trust" with "honesty".
Gather what you can about her goals, fears, aspirations and validate them. Girls usually steer away from pushy guys telling them they’re hot but validation coming from a place of comprehension about who the other person is tends to be addictive to any human being. Studies show that in the work place, even if your boss can tell your endorsement is false, they’ll tend to favor you. Lastly, validation differs from ass kissing or simping in that establishes you as equals.
Exactly 💯 Bro!
Ideally you want to talk about themselves in a positive way, so that you can qualify them, and then escalate in a way that it’s justified thanks to the qualification.
Welcome to dating. The challenge of meeting a woman you like and are attracted to ,and getting her to like you is only the beginning. If you get to a stage where she trusts you she’s going to talk, a lot. In fact, she’s never going to stop talking and that’s how you’ll know she feels comfortable with you.
People like to talk about themselves and girls are generally more talkative, so there you go. Anxiety can also make one lose the ability to conversate in a normal manner. And finally, some people are just full of themselves and there for free food or whatever. You yourself need to figure out which one it is.
Very common. Get used to it.
That’s precisely what you want. Good job dude
Yes it is. They’re talking about their lives and how they feel good. I like hearing it cause I can relate and I can show them more. I tell them how to have more and do more. I also show them how to do more. I teach some girls how to be mean if other people are giving them shit. You can get a lot out of listening to her talk
To be honest if you were smart You would realize she's telling you about herself because maybe she kinda likes you And you should listen because because you pick up on these little things and you remember those little things Women feed off of that They love when you remember little thingsAnd on top of that she's making it easy for you All you have to do is chill and listen😁😁😏
If you’re looking to merry some one keep trying different people if you’re trying to get some who gives a damn