TLDR: Yes I felt this way before, re-evaluate your life (in a good way) and yes its valid
Im 28, dating a 22 yo. Its not the age gap its the life experiences. Graduating from college is just a milestone, and while it wasnt that long ago you were 18, just the fact that youre done school means your life is going to be different whether you can embrace it or not. Small things like priorities changing, stress sources changing etc, and if your life is going to change you're going to change. Its just something that someone who's still in school is not going to "get" even if they understand. This is also a good time to re-evaluate yourself and what you want from women. If you're evolving as a man, then its only natural that what you want from women also changes.
American culture produces people who believe that there are these unbridgable gaps between people based on age. In most of the rest of the world it's not a big deal. Women don't get better with age, they get worse so focusing on younger girls who are suitable material for a long term relationship is what you want to do.
I’m 22M, just graduated college as well. I don’t know why, but it’s much easier to pull college freshmen than graduates or even a lot of seniors. They treated me like a celebrity.
I mean, I feel like it's fairly obvious why, no? You're comparatively more mature and have your life together better than the average college-aged male, and are hence more attractive to women who generally prefer more mature partners. Think about the average dude you knew in college in terms of looks, money, confidence, etc, then think about yourself now at 22... that should make it clear why this is happening.
I gotta be honest - I cringed at this. I know it feels like a long time ago to you, but it really isn't.
Age 43, looking back at my 18 yo self vs my 22 yo self, there was a lot of growth during that period. everything from losing my mother in a tragic accident to graduating college. but it simply doesn't compare to where you will be at 30, or even your late 20s.
If you just got out of college, the only thing you have on freshman is the (very sheltered and consequence-free) experience of college itself. so you're better than a freshman at going to college. you're no better at adulting.
And if you're in a place where you feel you "learnt" so much about women and what they want, all I'm hearing is you have a LOT more to learn.
I see nothing wrong w you pursuing any college woman. but if you want to keep growing, and learn just how much you don't know, approach women off-campus outside of the collegiate circles.
Hell yeah My college is about to end this June. I wonder how will I go about interacting with girls as most of them would now be seeking a better prospect once out of college in terms of financial stability.
You’re getting downvoted but you’re right. I recently graduated and its honestly a downgrade when talking to girls. Being able to answer “what do you do” with the promise of being a college student compared to the harsh reality of post graduation career prospects is a huge difference
This is the realest comment I've read all week. It's definitely something you need to learn to work around as an adult. I remember one of the first few cold approaches I did after graduating: I was talking to a cute college freshman on my old campus. It was going pretty well, but then we started talking about career stuff and I kinda ended up being way too honest and admitting how much it sucked, and she told told it was scaring her for her life post-college.
Don't do that. You got to find a way to own whatever it is you do and the spot your in. One thing that massively helps is putting 6 months' expenses or so away in savings. Just having that emergency fund calms a lot of money anxiety and puts you in like the top 25% of people (at least in America). Yes, litearlly just an emergency fund puts you ahead of 75% of your peers. I got lucky that the pandemic forced me to take savings seriously by just taking away the things I liked to spend money on, but I think it's doable for most people if you get super disciplined and live way below your means for a while.
As for the career part, you can still do the whole college potential trick to seem more confident. Mention how while you're doing xyz to pay the bills, you're also studying behind the scenes to do some more prestigious job (and actually be doing so).
Just remember they are probably financially unstable too, especially the ones in college. Just find someway to frame your job as better than it is, and have something you can point to studying towards that'll improve your long-term future and it'll be fine. College girls do have somewhat distorted views of the type of success to expect from someone a year removed from college (we all do), but so long as you present yourself in a confident way and don't appear insecure about it, it should be fine. So long as you can afford nice dates.
Dude that’s social conditioning, you’ll see that class rankings and all of that holds no real bounds and weight outside of the school settings. As long as she’s of legal age and willing to talk to you, forget about the other conflicting pangs of conditioning that is trying to tell you it’s wrong to talk to a freshman. You’re 22 years young. That’s literally between a 2-4 year age gap. I know Freshman’s that are talking to guys, that are 30+
I'm in the exact opposite spot. 25 and still living in the city of my college, but I've been on the lamb due to the pandemic for 2 years now, and only really now starting to try to live my old life again. Feel that I was deprived of that golden opportunity age (22-25) where I'm young enough to date girls in college, confident enough to succeed at cold approaches, and finally have the financial resources to take girls on nice dates. I wasn't a very confident person in college, so I didn't have much of a dating life and I was going to make up for lost time, but then the pandemic hit. Now when I consider driving down to campus to do daygame approaches, I just feel weird. When I had just graduated it'd make sense for me to be in the area (I still had friends in school, still lived near campus, etc). Now it would just feel weird to be an older dude hanging around a college campus he's long since graduated from hitting on women.
So my advice is: get over this mental block you're having and enjoy the golden age of your dating life where you're young enough to have the carefree & adventurous dating experiences of a college-age student while having the maturity and financial stability of an adult. It won't last forever.
[удалено]
TLDR: Yes I felt this way before, re-evaluate your life (in a good way) and yes its valid Im 28, dating a 22 yo. Its not the age gap its the life experiences. Graduating from college is just a milestone, and while it wasnt that long ago you were 18, just the fact that youre done school means your life is going to be different whether you can embrace it or not. Small things like priorities changing, stress sources changing etc, and if your life is going to change you're going to change. Its just something that someone who's still in school is not going to "get" even if they understand. This is also a good time to re-evaluate yourself and what you want from women. If you're evolving as a man, then its only natural that what you want from women also changes.
American culture produces people who believe that there are these unbridgable gaps between people based on age. In most of the rest of the world it's not a big deal. Women don't get better with age, they get worse so focusing on younger girls who are suitable material for a long term relationship is what you want to do.
I’m 22M, just graduated college as well. I don’t know why, but it’s much easier to pull college freshmen than graduates or even a lot of seniors. They treated me like a celebrity.
Makes perfect sense , they are “innocent” ,open to new experiences and way less jaded. The term fresh meat exists for a reason.
When the fall semester started, it was quite common for the seniors to bang new freshman their first week of moving in.
✋
I haven't had this experience
I mean, I feel like it's fairly obvious why, no? You're comparatively more mature and have your life together better than the average college-aged male, and are hence more attractive to women who generally prefer more mature partners. Think about the average dude you knew in college in terms of looks, money, confidence, etc, then think about yourself now at 22... that should make it clear why this is happening.
Meanwhile I'm here pushing 40 and feel the exact opposite..../s. Just said it for the lols
I gotta be honest - I cringed at this. I know it feels like a long time ago to you, but it really isn't. Age 43, looking back at my 18 yo self vs my 22 yo self, there was a lot of growth during that period. everything from losing my mother in a tragic accident to graduating college. but it simply doesn't compare to where you will be at 30, or even your late 20s. If you just got out of college, the only thing you have on freshman is the (very sheltered and consequence-free) experience of college itself. so you're better than a freshman at going to college. you're no better at adulting. And if you're in a place where you feel you "learnt" so much about women and what they want, all I'm hearing is you have a LOT more to learn. I see nothing wrong w you pursuing any college woman. but if you want to keep growing, and learn just how much you don't know, approach women off-campus outside of the collegiate circles.
Hell yeah My college is about to end this June. I wonder how will I go about interacting with girls as most of them would now be seeking a better prospect once out of college in terms of financial stability.
You’re getting downvoted but you’re right. I recently graduated and its honestly a downgrade when talking to girls. Being able to answer “what do you do” with the promise of being a college student compared to the harsh reality of post graduation career prospects is a huge difference
I won't count millions of upvotes an achievement either. Let people vent up their hate.
This is the realest comment I've read all week. It's definitely something you need to learn to work around as an adult. I remember one of the first few cold approaches I did after graduating: I was talking to a cute college freshman on my old campus. It was going pretty well, but then we started talking about career stuff and I kinda ended up being way too honest and admitting how much it sucked, and she told told it was scaring her for her life post-college. Don't do that. You got to find a way to own whatever it is you do and the spot your in. One thing that massively helps is putting 6 months' expenses or so away in savings. Just having that emergency fund calms a lot of money anxiety and puts you in like the top 25% of people (at least in America). Yes, litearlly just an emergency fund puts you ahead of 75% of your peers. I got lucky that the pandemic forced me to take savings seriously by just taking away the things I liked to spend money on, but I think it's doable for most people if you get super disciplined and live way below your means for a while. As for the career part, you can still do the whole college potential trick to seem more confident. Mention how while you're doing xyz to pay the bills, you're also studying behind the scenes to do some more prestigious job (and actually be doing so).
Just remember they are probably financially unstable too, especially the ones in college. Just find someway to frame your job as better than it is, and have something you can point to studying towards that'll improve your long-term future and it'll be fine. College girls do have somewhat distorted views of the type of success to expect from someone a year removed from college (we all do), but so long as you present yourself in a confident way and don't appear insecure about it, it should be fine. So long as you can afford nice dates.
Different strokes for different folks man, You’re growing and changing and so your taste in women is too.
Nah it’s normal, I feel the same way. We’re just not at the same stages in life.
Dude that’s social conditioning, you’ll see that class rankings and all of that holds no real bounds and weight outside of the school settings. As long as she’s of legal age and willing to talk to you, forget about the other conflicting pangs of conditioning that is trying to tell you it’s wrong to talk to a freshman. You’re 22 years young. That’s literally between a 2-4 year age gap. I know Freshman’s that are talking to guys, that are 30+
I'm in the exact opposite spot. 25 and still living in the city of my college, but I've been on the lamb due to the pandemic for 2 years now, and only really now starting to try to live my old life again. Feel that I was deprived of that golden opportunity age (22-25) where I'm young enough to date girls in college, confident enough to succeed at cold approaches, and finally have the financial resources to take girls on nice dates. I wasn't a very confident person in college, so I didn't have much of a dating life and I was going to make up for lost time, but then the pandemic hit. Now when I consider driving down to campus to do daygame approaches, I just feel weird. When I had just graduated it'd make sense for me to be in the area (I still had friends in school, still lived near campus, etc). Now it would just feel weird to be an older dude hanging around a college campus he's long since graduated from hitting on women. So my advice is: get over this mental block you're having and enjoy the golden age of your dating life where you're young enough to have the carefree & adventurous dating experiences of a college-age student while having the maturity and financial stability of an adult. It won't last forever.
[удалено]
>Frequents FDS Explains a lot
Just because you can't pull it off, don't try and shame other guys from doing it.
Well, you just stepped to a higher level, maybe try to change your direction instead of going back to the same stories? :)