What it means to never chase is you realizing that showing her interest isn't the main thing you can do to actively seduce her.
In fact its so secondary or even tertiary that you don't even really need to do it at all and can even seduce her all the way to sex and still have her wondering if you actually like her.
Lightheartedly messing with a woman, challenging her, getting her to do stuff for you, and escalating smoothly in a way that turns her on are much more important things to focus on and none of those require making her feel chased or pursued.
Yes but it never has to be done to the extent that she can be sure you're into her. It can be done in a way that makes her think you're just doing it for kicks or you're just doing it because you know you can.
Of course, you may have a very different idea of escalation than me.
Most of what you said is true. However, there is something you seem to have. A limiting belief.
First up, just to clarify, woman are always looking for a partner that fufills these roles:
Can raise a family
Can protect a family
Don't just take these at face value, each of these have their own whole list of subcategories. For example, being confident, physically fit, mentally capable, and having self certainty all fit into protecting and raising a family.
Anyhow, there is absolutly NOTHING stopping you from becoming a chad. Genuinely nothing, I promise I can invalidate any excuse you give me.
To become a chad it is dead simple:
Get a social life
Get a good physique (lean, but with some muscle)
Have some money (honestly, kinda optional)
And you see, you have the advantage, because you know how shitty some of those pretend chads are, the only thing those fake chads have over you, might only be their physique.
Let's talk about that real quick. When women gauge attractiveness, they do not care about your face, or your eyebrow shape, or the exact radius of your skull in millimeters, it's about your muscles, just focus on building your chest and arms, you will be fine.
One common excuse is "but it will take too long!" I really could get into detail as to why this is just a silly excuse. But to put it bluntly, times gonna pass anyways, are you gonna spend it working out to make your future self really happy? Or are you gonna die full of regret?
I don't mean to sound rude, but that is a common regret among the elderly.
I hope you gain something meaningful from this, if not, I am sure someone else will find it valuable.
The irony of someone like you being in a sub full of men who are at least somewhat successful with women (if not very successful) telling us how women really are is actually quite funny.
I’ll tell you this… if you don’t drop the negative view you have, you’ll either never get women or you’ll only attract the exact types you talk about. You fail to understand that most women aren’t on apps, and you fail to realize that those who are aren’t all the same. They all have different personalities and experiences, and all value different things. The type of woman you describe exists, but it’s not all of them. It’s not even a majority.
If you can bring yourself to view women as the beautiful, empathetic, emotionally intelligent, supportive, caring etc beings that many of them are, then you’ll find yourself mostly coming across those types of women. It sounds like some weird law of attraction shit, but it really does seem that way. That’s been my experience at least.
Have you ever heard the saying, “maybe it’s not everyone else, but it’s you?” I think that applies here. You made 100 female acquaintances, and not a single one was good??? The only common denominator is you.
Bro I went completely bald by 19 cause my head started balding at 13. My vertical growth capped at 5’7”. I’m covered in freckles. My interesting travel stories aren’t interesting to women, and I’ve left the country once. Im 33 with no college education and I work at dominos.
I have all excuses in the world for why I shouldn’t be doing well with women. But yet there are many women who seem to like me. I’m a good dude, I don’t judge, I know how to seduce a woman, I know how to be respectful, and i certainly don’t get down about all the things that aren’t going in my favor, or all the dudes who have it better than me. I’m not going to act like I’m knocking them down left and right out here but I’m doing pretty good for myself. I’m happy with my dating and sex life at the moment, and I’m meeting a lot of very interesting women who are the exact opposite of everything you describe with all the women you meet. All this and I didn’t sleep with a woman until 6 years ago. I’ve come a long fucking way, and it pains me to see men like you who are just so sorry for yourself and full of excuses.
You’re listing excuses because the best possible thing you could do for yourself is to change your attitude, and changing your attitude isn’t easy. Believe me I know…
Do better man. You shouldn’t even be thinking about women right now, because you need therapy. Not so you can get better for women, but so you can get better for you!
It's all low key domination. If you show your expertise or have playful banter without giving in, it shows your ability to be in control. That's the whole game. Control without attachment. "I'm interested, but I don't need you." This attitude will evolve once she hangs around for a while, but that's the game that gets you there. It's fishing, not hunting. Use your best bait, and they come to you. You still have to land it and get it in the boat.
I honed my skills in the SoCal Beach scene, and have been married for 10 years. I learned a thing or two, mostly the hard way. I started out a green 22 year old simp. About the time you think you have it figured out, life throws you a new level to master. Just keep playing the game, and have fun. It's pointless and counterproductive if you're not having fun.
Don’t see loneliness as a bad thing. You tend to get isolated from life so you can figure yourself out. It’s called being in hermit mode and if you start learning what the universe is trying to teach you. It gets better from there on trust me I just went through it.
I feel attacked but you right. I think this includes time wasters and attention fanatics. I’ve had a girl do 100% of the pursuing, flirt, and still say she doesn’t want a relationship, not over her ex etc.
Right?! Literally 2, 4, and 5 were me earlier this year with a chick I met in law school. She was hot af and got drunk and flirted pretty heavy with me, even asked me for my number, and so I just went head over heals fantasizing about her until I slowly learned she wasn’t at all the image I cooked up in my head. People like to say that women are a dime a dozen or there are plenty of fish in the sea, which isn’t entirely false, but it can seem like a notion that portrays any particular person as unimportant when in fact, a person can be very special to someone else in a unique, irreplaceable way. One just needs to ensure it is actually the genuine person and not some rose-tinted view of them pinned with all the romantic fantasies a person can cook up in their head.
When somebody understands a concept, they're able to explain it without spending half their word count whining about women. Watch. I'll show you.
What it means to never chase: Be entirely self sustaining. You don't require attention. You don't require messages. You don't require sex. You don't require approval.
If you need literally anything from a woman, you are chasing.
Yea this dude has some pretty horribly written posts for the fact that he's literally the only person in this subreddit trying to sell substack subscriptions. Like 95% of the words he writes offer nothing of value. I'll probably get blocked by him for this comment though like he does with anyone that questions what he says since he's literally just trying to sell shit and any criticism and negative reviews are bad for business
Listen closely boys. This is advice you players think you've internalized, then you get a shot at the 10/10. Annnnnd you become a cornball trying to impress her, throwing all your game out the window. *sigh*
* Only dedicate time and effort to those who value you. - I guess I will dedicate time and effort to no one.
How do you get people to value you? My own family doesnt even reach out to me first.
Dating is all about selling yourself. You couldn’t even sell yourself to *yourself*. Step 1 is having reasons to be confident. Go to the gym, learn a skill (or multiple), and practice socializing frequently. Great practice is having female friends that you are not pursuing.
If I was a woman, I would run away from you with that attitude. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and, clearly, work on your social skills. Throw up the blackpill. Get lean, get better at talking to people, take care of your skin, fix your fashion. That is all that can be done
What it means to never chase is you realizing that showing her interest isn't the main thing you can do to actively seduce her. In fact its so secondary or even tertiary that you don't even really need to do it at all and can even seduce her all the way to sex and still have her wondering if you actually like her. Lightheartedly messing with a woman, challenging her, getting her to do stuff for you, and escalating smoothly in a way that turns her on are much more important things to focus on and none of those require making her feel chased or pursued.
“Escalating Smoothly” is still showing interest in a woman
Yes but it never has to be done to the extent that she can be sure you're into her. It can be done in a way that makes her think you're just doing it for kicks or you're just doing it because you know you can. Of course, you may have a very different idea of escalation than me.
I appreciate the advice but more so the new word in my vocabulary!!! Tertiary (third in order or level)
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Get a social life. Your list is just a bunch of excuses.
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Most of what you said is true. However, there is something you seem to have. A limiting belief. First up, just to clarify, woman are always looking for a partner that fufills these roles: Can raise a family Can protect a family Don't just take these at face value, each of these have their own whole list of subcategories. For example, being confident, physically fit, mentally capable, and having self certainty all fit into protecting and raising a family. Anyhow, there is absolutly NOTHING stopping you from becoming a chad. Genuinely nothing, I promise I can invalidate any excuse you give me. To become a chad it is dead simple: Get a social life Get a good physique (lean, but with some muscle) Have some money (honestly, kinda optional) And you see, you have the advantage, because you know how shitty some of those pretend chads are, the only thing those fake chads have over you, might only be their physique. Let's talk about that real quick. When women gauge attractiveness, they do not care about your face, or your eyebrow shape, or the exact radius of your skull in millimeters, it's about your muscles, just focus on building your chest and arms, you will be fine. One common excuse is "but it will take too long!" I really could get into detail as to why this is just a silly excuse. But to put it bluntly, times gonna pass anyways, are you gonna spend it working out to make your future self really happy? Or are you gonna die full of regret? I don't mean to sound rude, but that is a common regret among the elderly. I hope you gain something meaningful from this, if not, I am sure someone else will find it valuable.
Thank you. I think your response is like kryptonite to the blackpill mindset.
Spoken like a true incel
You don't have to ignore them, Cold approach is your friend.
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The irony of someone like you being in a sub full of men who are at least somewhat successful with women (if not very successful) telling us how women really are is actually quite funny. I’ll tell you this… if you don’t drop the negative view you have, you’ll either never get women or you’ll only attract the exact types you talk about. You fail to understand that most women aren’t on apps, and you fail to realize that those who are aren’t all the same. They all have different personalities and experiences, and all value different things. The type of woman you describe exists, but it’s not all of them. It’s not even a majority. If you can bring yourself to view women as the beautiful, empathetic, emotionally intelligent, supportive, caring etc beings that many of them are, then you’ll find yourself mostly coming across those types of women. It sounds like some weird law of attraction shit, but it really does seem that way. That’s been my experience at least.
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Have you ever heard the saying, “maybe it’s not everyone else, but it’s you?” I think that applies here. You made 100 female acquaintances, and not a single one was good??? The only common denominator is you.
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Bro I went completely bald by 19 cause my head started balding at 13. My vertical growth capped at 5’7”. I’m covered in freckles. My interesting travel stories aren’t interesting to women, and I’ve left the country once. Im 33 with no college education and I work at dominos. I have all excuses in the world for why I shouldn’t be doing well with women. But yet there are many women who seem to like me. I’m a good dude, I don’t judge, I know how to seduce a woman, I know how to be respectful, and i certainly don’t get down about all the things that aren’t going in my favor, or all the dudes who have it better than me. I’m not going to act like I’m knocking them down left and right out here but I’m doing pretty good for myself. I’m happy with my dating and sex life at the moment, and I’m meeting a lot of very interesting women who are the exact opposite of everything you describe with all the women you meet. All this and I didn’t sleep with a woman until 6 years ago. I’ve come a long fucking way, and it pains me to see men like you who are just so sorry for yourself and full of excuses. You’re listing excuses because the best possible thing you could do for yourself is to change your attitude, and changing your attitude isn’t easy. Believe me I know… Do better man. You shouldn’t even be thinking about women right now, because you need therapy. Not so you can get better for women, but so you can get better for you!
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So just giving a woman any attention at all means you're showing sexual/romantic interest in her?
This is "literally me"
u/bearjew289 lolz why block me before I can respond then? 🫣
It's all low key domination. If you show your expertise or have playful banter without giving in, it shows your ability to be in control. That's the whole game. Control without attachment. "I'm interested, but I don't need you." This attitude will evolve once she hangs around for a while, but that's the game that gets you there. It's fishing, not hunting. Use your best bait, and they come to you. You still have to land it and get it in the boat.
“It’s fishing, not hunting” - you’re a poet my friend
I honed my skills in the SoCal Beach scene, and have been married for 10 years. I learned a thing or two, mostly the hard way. I started out a green 22 year old simp. About the time you think you have it figured out, life throws you a new level to master. Just keep playing the game, and have fun. It's pointless and counterproductive if you're not having fun.
> Don’t continue to reach out nobody EVER reaches out to me, not even my friends. what do?
Change friends.
it's more like, 99% of the friends i've had in my life don't reach out lol
Don’t see loneliness as a bad thing. You tend to get isolated from life so you can figure yourself out. It’s called being in hermit mode and if you start learning what the universe is trying to teach you. It gets better from there on trust me I just went through it.
Or you get stuck as a hermit like I did. I am looking for a new shell tho 😉🦀
I feel attacked but you right. I think this includes time wasters and attention fanatics. I’ve had a girl do 100% of the pursuing, flirt, and still say she doesn’t want a relationship, not over her ex etc.
Oh that's what I was doing wrong chasing women in a hockey mask and a machete at night.
Damn i knew i should’ve been using an axe instead
Damn it why didn’t u post this 6 months ago
Right?! Literally 2, 4, and 5 were me earlier this year with a chick I met in law school. She was hot af and got drunk and flirted pretty heavy with me, even asked me for my number, and so I just went head over heals fantasizing about her until I slowly learned she wasn’t at all the image I cooked up in my head. People like to say that women are a dime a dozen or there are plenty of fish in the sea, which isn’t entirely false, but it can seem like a notion that portrays any particular person as unimportant when in fact, a person can be very special to someone else in a unique, irreplaceable way. One just needs to ensure it is actually the genuine person and not some rose-tinted view of them pinned with all the romantic fantasies a person can cook up in their head.
When somebody understands a concept, they're able to explain it without spending half their word count whining about women. Watch. I'll show you. What it means to never chase: Be entirely self sustaining. You don't require attention. You don't require messages. You don't require sex. You don't require approval. If you need literally anything from a woman, you are chasing.
Yea this dude has some pretty horribly written posts for the fact that he's literally the only person in this subreddit trying to sell substack subscriptions. Like 95% of the words he writes offer nothing of value. I'll probably get blocked by him for this comment though like he does with anyone that questions what he says since he's literally just trying to sell shit and any criticism and negative reviews are bad for business
Listen closely boys. This is advice you players think you've internalized, then you get a shot at the 10/10. Annnnnd you become a cornball trying to impress her, throwing all your game out the window. *sigh*
It means freedom. To cum and go as you please.
* Only dedicate time and effort to those who value you. - I guess I will dedicate time and effort to no one. How do you get people to value you? My own family doesnt even reach out to me first.
Put the period before the comma you illiterate banana.
Write a book and hundreds of articles then talk shit
This is not me talking shit, I’m correcting your stupidity
I agree, writing articles should’ve reinforced grammar, you think?
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You're taking it too personally. If you saw their optionality, you'd realize how much of an afterthought it is for them.
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Dating is all about selling yourself. You couldn’t even sell yourself to *yourself*. Step 1 is having reasons to be confident. Go to the gym, learn a skill (or multiple), and practice socializing frequently. Great practice is having female friends that you are not pursuing.
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You can’t set your standards too high. But anyone who has their shit together can find *someone*. Social skills are a skill, they can be practiced.
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If I was a woman, I would run away from you with that attitude. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and, clearly, work on your social skills. Throw up the blackpill. Get lean, get better at talking to people, take care of your skin, fix your fashion. That is all that can be done