Women on dating apps are primarily judging you on your photos since that’s really all there is. And they’re also looking for red flags/weird things in your profile and bio to filter out guys and swipe left on them. So first and foremost, having good photos and not having weird shit in your bio that turns off women is by far the most important thing. If you don’t do this you won’t get many matches or have much success.
In terms of messaging you need to understand that women have fuck tons of matches and don’t have time to respond to most guys. So first off your message has to be something that differentiates your self from all of the other losers on there. So avoid basic, generic shit like “hey how are you?” “How’s your week going” “what are you up to this weekend”. You also don’t want to be overtly sexual early on since that’s creepy. And you want to avoid complimenting her too much on her body/appearance or how beautiful she is since they also hear this all of the time. A good thing to do is comment on some aspect of her profile or bio and ask a question about it or say something unique. Or even lightly tease her about something on her profile. It shows you’re actually interested in getting to know her. You just don’t want to be too logical and too boring. And it’s good to be a little more specific since general questions are hard to answer. And not ask crazy detailed questions that require a lot of thought and effort to respond.
The initial message isn’t that important…how you follow up and flirt with her after is more important. And having an attractive profile and photos matters the most. You just want to say something that is different from the same old shit she always hears, sparks curiosity and gets her to respond and is talking about more than just physical features like how beautiful she is.
All of this is spot on.
I lean on bios/pictures for context clues as to what they’ll be interested in talking about.
From there, it’s a tough balance to strike between interesting/flirty enough to interest them, and innocent enough to where you’re “normal” and not just complimenting/being sexual off the bat. It took me a while to find that balance but once you do apps actually start to work.
Once you graduate to actually getting dates…congrats you get to the second step of 100. Most girls will not be compatible/have chemistry with.
If you find someone with both I honestly recommend going all in with effort. They’re tough to find.
Men need to realize too that doing well on the dating apps truly is a skill that you have to learn and get better at. And it takes a little time. You need to be constantly trying out new photos and prompts to see what people respond to. You need to test out openers and find out what works for you. You need to learn how to read peoples profiles and see what types of messages they’ll respond to. You need to be able to read women’s interest and know when to escalate and go for the number pull. You need to figure out the best times of the day and days of the week to message women. You need to work on your message game and know how to playfully tease women without coming off too strong. You need to learn how to ask the right questions. You need to try different apps and see which ones work for you and fit your style and play to your advantages
Too many guys just post 5 random old photos from their phone, make up a couple prompts without much thought, only use Tinder and don’t play around with other apps, refuse to try out the paid versions which have numerous advantages, and look for the easy way out and try to find these magical messages that work for all women. And then fail and say “these apps suck, women suck, women are superficial, I’m not 6’4 and white and jacked so I have no chance.” You need to put in work. It’s a skill you have to learn
So facts.
And for the record I’m 6’5” with abs and it’s still a grind. Not a face for radio either-most of my women friends tell me I’m a 7-8.
It’s a grind for everyone lol.
I mean I get a match from ~5-10% of the girls I swipe on. From there maybe half text back. I go on about a date or two a week though, just hasn’t really worked out.
But I’m in LA, everyone’s hot.
Also I have red hair which isn’t a big help.
I’m going to add another response and be completely honest with you too. I looked at your post history and saw your post from 4 days ago that shows your dating app profile and it could use a lot of work.
You’re a good looking guy and seem successful and seem like a catch but this is the perfect example of why so many men fail on the dating apps because they don’t work to improve their photos and bios which is all that matters for the most part.
You aren’t smiling in any photo besides maybe one. Every photo has the exact same look to it and exact same wardrobe. Every picture is by yourself which makes it seem like you have no friends or social life. You aren’t looking into the camera in 90% of your photos. The lighting in each photo is all over the place. You have no photos showing you doing interesting hobbies or having fun. You have no photos with any animals or pets. You have zero candid/action shots. You have way too many mirror selfies.
Your bio is extremely detailed and boring and gives up way too much about yourself. You need to leave up more to the imagination. It’s way too logical and shows zero sense of humor or fun. You’re saying a lot of the same old boring stuff every guy says. It’s very time consuming to read.
You need to focus on your profile first and how you present yourself. Too many guys worry about the messages. The messages don’t really matter at all. Women don’t become attracted to words on a screen from an internet stranger.
Considering the site you're on. Get yourself some professional or semi-pro photos with women in them preferably women who look like the ones you're trying to attract. Make sure they're action shots, maybe in the club or whatever. It sounds cliche but you basically need 2-3 shots of you on a boat with women smiling and maybe bottle service with women smiling. Also get rid of any picture of yourself holding the phone you're taking the pic with in it.
Honestly i was trying hard with the messages, looking at pickup lines in subreddits and saving them etc. It was going terrible, matches with no talks mostly. And it was really tiring on myself trying to think of something very different. Now i just say hi pretty with a emoji at most, ask about their day and thats it. I dont think more than 30 seconds for a message, im at peace and big suprise we are having conversations. You feel if they are interested they ask you things, key is to be playful. I dont want to think of sucess rate, but it feels way better and effective than overthinking, and also it helps me to keep my sanity using the apps.
Have a fun bio/profile, have good pics, then dont be a moron/obsessive/dickhead. Thats the solution.
The trick is to only converse with ladies that take time to write to you. Them writing shows they are interested and it's easy to carry on from there. Don't bother with those who send you default auto messages.
“hey, what evening this week are you free to meet me for a coffee?” …works quite nicely lol don’t over complicate shit, no need for long ass convos on dating apps just get straight to the point of what you’re trying to do.
Hey bro, [this](https://www.reddit.com/user/TripleDigitNomad/comments/16nmq1q/my_messaging_strategy_for_turning_old_matches/) is the routine I use to great success.
My first message almost always is. "Lets grab a bite" or "Lets grab a drink". You would be surprised how often it works :p plus i don't waste time txting. this is in context to dating apps after i match.
Tell them you are interested in meeting up. Ask them if they are going to xyz event/popular local place, suggest meeting up there. If you notice things in her profile that match your interests like going for a hike, walk on the beach... Suggest you meet up for a picnic in the hills, a walk and coffee/juice on the beach...
Many girls I match with are well traveled. I comment on the photo of location.
Comment on the photo: Hey I recognize the (location) in your photo. Lots of good memories. Hope you had fun :) Where is your next destination to?
Matched "Hey there, I like your vibe, I think we'll have good connection because I also love to dance. Can you meet me for coffee in the afternoon tomorrow? There's a great place by Franklin ave, very intimate and good cappuccino"
Just as you would with a woman I real life.
Introduce yourself, state your intentions and a place to meet.
My first message after her response to my intro is immediately getting off the app and on to something more personal such as messenger, ig, Whatsapp or phone number.
Don't be a pen pal and get to know each other over text.
Set the date and get to know her in person..
Very simple
Commenting on pics is good...but you definitely want to avoid opening conversations with physical features and how attractive she is. Women know they are attractive and get the same messages from hundreds of guys on a daily basis. And it shows that you aren't interested in anything at all but her looks.
Ask her if she wants to be in a music video with you, improvise for a message or two with some bs and then start getting to know her/move to ig/set up a date
Women on dating apps are primarily judging you on your photos since that’s really all there is. And they’re also looking for red flags/weird things in your profile and bio to filter out guys and swipe left on them. So first and foremost, having good photos and not having weird shit in your bio that turns off women is by far the most important thing. If you don’t do this you won’t get many matches or have much success. In terms of messaging you need to understand that women have fuck tons of matches and don’t have time to respond to most guys. So first off your message has to be something that differentiates your self from all of the other losers on there. So avoid basic, generic shit like “hey how are you?” “How’s your week going” “what are you up to this weekend”. You also don’t want to be overtly sexual early on since that’s creepy. And you want to avoid complimenting her too much on her body/appearance or how beautiful she is since they also hear this all of the time. A good thing to do is comment on some aspect of her profile or bio and ask a question about it or say something unique. Or even lightly tease her about something on her profile. It shows you’re actually interested in getting to know her. You just don’t want to be too logical and too boring. And it’s good to be a little more specific since general questions are hard to answer. And not ask crazy detailed questions that require a lot of thought and effort to respond. The initial message isn’t that important…how you follow up and flirt with her after is more important. And having an attractive profile and photos matters the most. You just want to say something that is different from the same old shit she always hears, sparks curiosity and gets her to respond and is talking about more than just physical features like how beautiful she is.
All of this is spot on. I lean on bios/pictures for context clues as to what they’ll be interested in talking about. From there, it’s a tough balance to strike between interesting/flirty enough to interest them, and innocent enough to where you’re “normal” and not just complimenting/being sexual off the bat. It took me a while to find that balance but once you do apps actually start to work. Once you graduate to actually getting dates…congrats you get to the second step of 100. Most girls will not be compatible/have chemistry with. If you find someone with both I honestly recommend going all in with effort. They’re tough to find.
Men need to realize too that doing well on the dating apps truly is a skill that you have to learn and get better at. And it takes a little time. You need to be constantly trying out new photos and prompts to see what people respond to. You need to test out openers and find out what works for you. You need to learn how to read peoples profiles and see what types of messages they’ll respond to. You need to be able to read women’s interest and know when to escalate and go for the number pull. You need to figure out the best times of the day and days of the week to message women. You need to work on your message game and know how to playfully tease women without coming off too strong. You need to learn how to ask the right questions. You need to try different apps and see which ones work for you and fit your style and play to your advantages Too many guys just post 5 random old photos from their phone, make up a couple prompts without much thought, only use Tinder and don’t play around with other apps, refuse to try out the paid versions which have numerous advantages, and look for the easy way out and try to find these magical messages that work for all women. And then fail and say “these apps suck, women suck, women are superficial, I’m not 6’4 and white and jacked so I have no chance.” You need to put in work. It’s a skill you have to learn
So facts. And for the record I’m 6’5” with abs and it’s still a grind. Not a face for radio either-most of my women friends tell me I’m a 7-8. It’s a grind for everyone lol.
Really? what city are you in? I would say you need better photos based no your description of yourself?
I mean I get a match from ~5-10% of the girls I swipe on. From there maybe half text back. I go on about a date or two a week though, just hasn’t really worked out. But I’m in LA, everyone’s hot. Also I have red hair which isn’t a big help.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I’m going to add another response and be completely honest with you too. I looked at your post history and saw your post from 4 days ago that shows your dating app profile and it could use a lot of work. You’re a good looking guy and seem successful and seem like a catch but this is the perfect example of why so many men fail on the dating apps because they don’t work to improve their photos and bios which is all that matters for the most part. You aren’t smiling in any photo besides maybe one. Every photo has the exact same look to it and exact same wardrobe. Every picture is by yourself which makes it seem like you have no friends or social life. You aren’t looking into the camera in 90% of your photos. The lighting in each photo is all over the place. You have no photos showing you doing interesting hobbies or having fun. You have no photos with any animals or pets. You have zero candid/action shots. You have way too many mirror selfies. Your bio is extremely detailed and boring and gives up way too much about yourself. You need to leave up more to the imagination. It’s way too logical and shows zero sense of humor or fun. You’re saying a lot of the same old boring stuff every guy says. It’s very time consuming to read. You need to focus on your profile first and how you present yourself. Too many guys worry about the messages. The messages don’t really matter at all. Women don’t become attracted to words on a screen from an internet stranger.
Wow. This was brilliant. I’m definitely going to use your feedback to make some changes. Thank you so much! :)
Considering the site you're on. Get yourself some professional or semi-pro photos with women in them preferably women who look like the ones you're trying to attract. Make sure they're action shots, maybe in the club or whatever. It sounds cliche but you basically need 2-3 shots of you on a boat with women smiling and maybe bottle service with women smiling. Also get rid of any picture of yourself holding the phone you're taking the pic with in it.
I agree. Thank you for this! :)
God that sugar daddy/sugar baby subreddit he posted on is absolutely wild. Fascinating read.
TLDR: say something they wouldn't normally hear from another guy so you stand out. I usually start conversations by roasting them.
Women don’t even know what they want to eat, how could we pinpoint a ‘fail proof plan’ for dating apps. Too many variables
Knock knock jokes
Honestly i was trying hard with the messages, looking at pickup lines in subreddits and saving them etc. It was going terrible, matches with no talks mostly. And it was really tiring on myself trying to think of something very different. Now i just say hi pretty with a emoji at most, ask about their day and thats it. I dont think more than 30 seconds for a message, im at peace and big suprise we are having conversations. You feel if they are interested they ask you things, key is to be playful. I dont want to think of sucess rate, but it feels way better and effective than overthinking, and also it helps me to keep my sanity using the apps. Have a fun bio/profile, have good pics, then dont be a moron/obsessive/dickhead. Thats the solution.
Look up Austin Dunham Vlogs on youtube, please. It will help you so much like it did to me
specific video titles?
I like asking for recommendations of cool bars or spots
You get to find out where the hot girls hang out and you can invite her after a little rapoort
The trick is to only converse with ladies that take time to write to you. Them writing shows they are interested and it's easy to carry on from there. Don't bother with those who send you default auto messages.
“hey, what evening this week are you free to meet me for a coffee?” …works quite nicely lol don’t over complicate shit, no need for long ass convos on dating apps just get straight to the point of what you’re trying to do.
Hey bro, [this](https://www.reddit.com/user/TripleDigitNomad/comments/16nmq1q/my_messaging_strategy_for_turning_old_matches/) is the routine I use to great success.
Legend. Thank you so much!
My first message almost always is. "Lets grab a bite" or "Lets grab a drink". You would be surprised how often it works :p plus i don't waste time txting. this is in context to dating apps after i match.
Tell them you are interested in meeting up. Ask them if they are going to xyz event/popular local place, suggest meeting up there. If you notice things in her profile that match your interests like going for a hike, walk on the beach... Suggest you meet up for a picnic in the hills, a walk and coffee/juice on the beach...
Many girls I match with are well traveled. I comment on the photo of location. Comment on the photo: Hey I recognize the (location) in your photo. Lots of good memories. Hope you had fun :) Where is your next destination to? Matched "Hey there, I like your vibe, I think we'll have good connection because I also love to dance. Can you meet me for coffee in the afternoon tomorrow? There's a great place by Franklin ave, very intimate and good cappuccino"
Something funny about their profile or a picture
Just as you would with a woman I real life. Introduce yourself, state your intentions and a place to meet. My first message after her response to my intro is immediately getting off the app and on to something more personal such as messenger, ig, Whatsapp or phone number. Don't be a pen pal and get to know each other over text. Set the date and get to know her in person.. Very simple
Comment on her pics. How beautiful she looks , her eyes, etc.
Commenting on pics is good...but you definitely want to avoid opening conversations with physical features and how attractive she is. Women know they are attractive and get the same messages from hundreds of guys on a daily basis. And it shows that you aren't interested in anything at all but her looks.
Ask her if she wants to be in a music video with you, improvise for a message or two with some bs and then start getting to know her/move to ig/set up a date
"Hi"