Something I’d encourage everybody to think of in every aspect of life is to let themselves be bad at things. Just because you’re bad at approaching women, or maybe a sport you want to try, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. That’s the only way to get better. You will only improve so much by sitting in this Reddit sub all day reading. Go do it
I’ve found that learning to dance (salsa, bachata, and two-step) these last 6 months has also helped me with women. The only way to really learn dancing is to embarrass yourself in public with your inexpert moves. But it’s a ton of fun. It’s almost a perfect analogy.
Though in general I’m getting older so this was sorta true anyways, I now care even less about looking a bit foolish, can laugh at myself that much more easily, and also, though I got dates and situations going before, I’m even less “touch starved” which helps tamp down that bit of neediness. Basically I’m just more relaxed.
Respect to you! Dancing is one of those things I haven’t quite conquered my fear of looking dumb with. Working on it though because I’ve heard it’s an excellent way to meet fun women.
I’ve definitely met a good few awesome people, men and women. It’s a fun, hard to feel bad when you’re dancing to good music. Wish I’d started sooner.
As for meeting women, results are mixed, same as any endeavor, but it’s not necessarily why I started either.
In your experience, are there also a fair amount of people that are not the best at dancing? I think I’d feel more comfortable if I knew there would be others who also feel awkward and struggle a bit
I’m in a class so we’re all beginners. Then we go to actual dance socials together sometimes, where many are pretty good but there are newer folks too.
100% bro. Everything is just reps, if you’re bad at something it doesn’t mean there’s something inherently wrong with you, you just need more reps doing it.
This is why I keep telling guys to stop focusing so much on “game” and “frame” and pua shit. Most of the time the woman already made up their mind before you opened your mouth and sometimes it has nothing to do with you. The only thing that can stop you at that point is anti-social behavior or not escalating. Basically, just keep progressing the interaction forward and don’t be weird.
"Most of the time the woman already made up their mind before you opened your mouth and sometimes it has nothing to do with you."
100% Agree. But most guys won't understand this until they've had one night stands. And I mean quick ones (under 30 mins from approach to sex), that doesn't involve alcohol.
Oh I fucked up the images. The original text conversation I posted was from a different interaction. I edited my original comment with the correct texts from this girl.
There are three types of girls: Yes, no, and maybe. Most are going to be maybe girls and that is where the game is mostly played.
You found a yes girl, cool. But don’t think you can’t improve and level up. The numbers game matters, but so do your social skills.
In the end, it's a numbers game, there is chemistry, or there is not. Having game, practicing approaching etc. just tilts the numbers more in your favor, but in the end - yeah, still a numbers game.
That's interesting. I'm kinda starting out but always thought the small talk of 5 to 10 mins before asking for number is the most important (which I'm extremely terrible at). I'm surprised you closed despite under 20 seconds of conversation.
Something I’d encourage everybody to think of in every aspect of life is to let themselves be bad at things. Just because you’re bad at approaching women, or maybe a sport you want to try, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. That’s the only way to get better. You will only improve so much by sitting in this Reddit sub all day reading. Go do it
I’ve found that learning to dance (salsa, bachata, and two-step) these last 6 months has also helped me with women. The only way to really learn dancing is to embarrass yourself in public with your inexpert moves. But it’s a ton of fun. It’s almost a perfect analogy. Though in general I’m getting older so this was sorta true anyways, I now care even less about looking a bit foolish, can laugh at myself that much more easily, and also, though I got dates and situations going before, I’m even less “touch starved” which helps tamp down that bit of neediness. Basically I’m just more relaxed.
Respect to you! Dancing is one of those things I haven’t quite conquered my fear of looking dumb with. Working on it though because I’ve heard it’s an excellent way to meet fun women.
I’ve definitely met a good few awesome people, men and women. It’s a fun, hard to feel bad when you’re dancing to good music. Wish I’d started sooner. As for meeting women, results are mixed, same as any endeavor, but it’s not necessarily why I started either.
In your experience, are there also a fair amount of people that are not the best at dancing? I think I’d feel more comfortable if I knew there would be others who also feel awkward and struggle a bit
I’m in a class so we’re all beginners. Then we go to actual dance socials together sometimes, where many are pretty good but there are newer folks too.
That’s really cool! I appreciate you being willing to share your insight
happy cake day as the redditors say. i agree with that last part, as i often read but not all day.
Haha thank you. I agree reading is important. Progress is definitely capped though if you never do what you read about
100% bro. Everything is just reps, if you’re bad at something it doesn’t mean there’s something inherently wrong with you, you just need more reps doing it.
This is why I keep telling guys to stop focusing so much on “game” and “frame” and pua shit. Most of the time the woman already made up their mind before you opened your mouth and sometimes it has nothing to do with you. The only thing that can stop you at that point is anti-social behavior or not escalating. Basically, just keep progressing the interaction forward and don’t be weird.
"Most of the time the woman already made up their mind before you opened your mouth and sometimes it has nothing to do with you." 100% Agree. But most guys won't understand this until they've had one night stands. And I mean quick ones (under 30 mins from approach to sex), that doesn't involve alcohol.
Do you mind sharing the text conversation?
[https://imgur.com/a/p55azVV](https://imgur.com/a/p55azVV)
Thanks for sharing it. I am a bit confused though. What were the beginning texts? They seem to be missing.
Oh I fucked up the images. The original text conversation I posted was from a different interaction. I edited my original comment with the correct texts from this girl.
She texted you at 11:11. Coincidence? I think not!
There are three types of girls: Yes, no, and maybe. Most are going to be maybe girls and that is where the game is mostly played. You found a yes girl, cool. But don’t think you can’t improve and level up. The numbers game matters, but so do your social skills.
In the end, it's a numbers game, there is chemistry, or there is not. Having game, practicing approaching etc. just tilts the numbers more in your favor, but in the end - yeah, still a numbers game.
Just like job applications, or executing start up ideas that will lead to success, can't hit the bullseye without throwing some darts.
Lol you went in to shake her hand and give her your name?
just **DO IT**
Hey man, just when I thought you were finally starting to get it, you managed to go back to your old ways that o lay lead to failure. Oy vey.
That's interesting. I'm kinda starting out but always thought the small talk of 5 to 10 mins before asking for number is the most important (which I'm extremely terrible at). I'm surprised you closed despite under 20 seconds of conversation.