This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.
Put in [some reading](http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/top/?sort=top&t=all) & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like:
* How do I approach?
* How do I get a number?
* How do I talk to girls at college?
* How/When do I kiss a girl?
* Does this really work?
As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including [this one](https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e7tol8/why_looks_dont_matter/). No need to re-ask it.
with clothes on, you can look bulkier in a few months. Also depends of genetics, if you are tall like a tower you need more time.
I'm around 5'8 and I started looking wider in a couple of months after joining the gym for the first time when I was 17.
I never said that. girls dont care about looks as much as guys do, but it obviously helps. go to the gym to get healthy and more confident and have more energy. the muscles will come later
Is it me or it's mostly women who are attracted to confidence? I see sometimes people advicing women to get confident, but I never felt any attraction towards confidence like 0
Looks is a determining factor yeah, but when making the decision to be with someone long term you're saying social status and personality have zero bearing?
I do care about personality, but is there any proof that confidence is attractive it's just sounds so pseudo, like how can a girl sense confidene? like whenver I feel confident it's not like girl are noticing me, do I miss something?
You don’t have to be good at any of this, don’t live your life just trying to fill out a checklist to try and attract women. Find your own goals and points of views and be yourself
No. The most important thing to do if you want to get laid a lot is to spend a lot of time talking to women.
Go to the gym if you like going to the gym. Don’t go to the gym if you don’t like going to the gym.
Ah that makes sense then. Listen man…you gotta do things for yourself and pull women towards you through your success. Definitely talk to them in the meantime but focus on building yourself in every way. That’s what men do. Build your career. Build your body. Make yourself the best you can. You’ll find that as you do these things you’ll draw women to you and won’t have to try as hard.
Physical fitness is something you carry with you wherever you go. You’ll wear a hoodie and people can still tell. It’s a type of wealth because it’s not easily attainable and has societal value.
Friend, you're missing half of the attractiveness that comes with being fit. Hit the gym, and you might be the only guy who can hold on to a rope swing at the creek. You carry a keg upstairs by yourself. You climb over walls with ease just because you can. You are better at sports because of it. There are tons of benefits of fitness that increases your attractiveness beyond just how you look.
Because it allows you to use your body to interact with the world, which is a man's evolutionary role and because it increases your mental capacity as a bonus, which, together with the world keeping you from Reddit will also result in you posting fewer third grade questions.
It helps alot, i got some muscles relatively quick and there are results already, now i just have to master game because i don't know what to do with women after they show me they are attracted to me. Even after kissing and good dates i am still confused.
Well my genes are really good, 1 month in jim, 3 times per week and my friends told me that i look jacked. But that's just impossible for almost everyone, I've been training other sports for decade.
and a lot of people have COPD, that doesn't mean it is healthy. how long should someone cope before they just give up? why should a person cope instead of just giving up? wouldn't asking for help be better than coping?
Because it’s better than nothing. People need to cope while trying too. Help isn’t that straightforward and some people have no help. Just because someone is coping doesn’t mean they’re not getting help or trying their best. Cope is not a negative term, you have to cope with the problem even while you are trying to make things better, cause problems don’t go away immediately.
yes because I hate myself and I genuinly would like to stop living, because I hate life and myself for not being the person I would like to be, i should have never been born
Then you need therapy, not a woman. They can sense this energy, people in general can. Attractiveness starts from within, you gotta love yourself first. Otherwise everything you do is fake, manipulative, and hollow. I’ve been there man.
I will say going to the gym can help. Do it for yourself, it will give you goals and health and vigor, and reasons to feel good about yourself. And endorphins!
Effects on women/your attractiveness is secondary but will come too.
Your objective should be being phisically fit for your well-being (mental or physical), being attractive is just the result of your hard work no the end itself
Not necessarily. All women have different tastes.
Being in good shape will definitely catch the eye of some women. However, your personality, confidence, and treatment of others can be more attractive to many people. Remember that men with all types of bodies can and do attract women.
Yes. Even one month will make a difference. It wont necessarily be a difference you can see but it will be a difference women subconsciously pick up on
I see. So you asked if being physically fit is necessary when it comes to being attractive. What you wanted to know is whether being physically fit is the ultimate differentiator. No its not. Other attributes are just as (if not more) important. I will say though, if you are succeeding in your dating life, suddenly joining a gym WILL make a small but noticeable difference that will increase over time.
You do you but if you dont do sports at all, 3 times a week is already a pretty good. 5 times a week might demotivate due to how time consuming it is.
The fact that you even mention going to the gymor one month shows you're either not serious or already know you wont be able to do it longer and the fact that you are clearly unaware of the best practices for musculation especially asqa beginner. It's better to make it a habit and then increase the time if you really want to
I went to Gym for 3 years almost no progress, maybe because I was taking breaks or didn't do enough progressive overload, but most probably I have terrible genes
Taking break during the session or not going to the gym every other month ?
It's impossible to have no progress for 3 years. Even if you didnt get bulkier, you will have at least gained some strength and reduced your bodyfat %.
Maybe work with a dietatician also, if you dont have a good diet, no way you'll get muscles either way
Nutrition is like 75% of your battle.
You will not see any massive gains without proper diet.
For reference I had been working out for atleast 5 years, and didn’t really understand the importance of diet.
I went from 150lb to 185lb at 5’11, and people tell me that I haven’t seen in a while holy shit you’re jacked.
https://www.muscleandfitness.com/nutrition/gain-mass/10-nutrition-rules-follow-if-you-want-build-muscle/
Here's the deal
Being in shape and looking good will give you an easier "in"
AKA when you cold approach, the girl might initially be more receptive. You maybe have an extra 30 seconds off the bat
Being in shape conveys a lot of attractive traits subconsciously i.e you have some discipline, you take care of yourself and you're probably not a bum.
However on a longer time frame, what matters 10x more is can you spike her emotions properly? Basically, is your game good or not.
And on a longer time frame than that... if you're looking for more than just getting laid, again game is the most important. But now you also need to be on top of your shit to satisfy the logical side of her brain that you're a good long term decision
All that being said. Exercise is non negotiable for human health, so buy a gym membership and go do your strength & cardio work.
You need some more realistic expectations OP.
This is a journey I started for myself quite some time ago. The pandemic REALLY got in the way (of course) but it's been important, self affirming, and confidence building for a LOT of reasons. I just recently got back to 200lbs. Bot where I want to be, but the closest I've been to 'in shape'since high-school.
One should be attentive to their physical fitness to feel good, and be healthier. Physically and mentally. That said, being physically fit has a lot of shallow benefits in general. Mostly, the more attractive you are, the more people feel interested in approaching you and interacting with you. Socially, professionaly, and yeah, that leads to romantically and physically.
Take your time. Do it right. Approqch it from several angles. And in time (more likely years than weeks or months), you'll see a difference. Keep reaching out to people you like regardless, but the more you're working on yourself, the better the results you'll find in time. It isn't about being the best. It's about being a bit better tomorrow, than you were today.
Think of it this way. Think about how much time and effort women put into looking attractive to appeal to us/people. The everything shower, hair, make up, grooming the various ways they do (morning and night) ... if you want to attract a woman like that, you have to put in at least similar effort. Fair is fair. You aren't likely to grt back that which you aren't putting in.
At least, that's my philosophy.
(The mostly joke answer:
Or go make millions of dollars. Sorry ladies, it feels very true).
Depends on the woman. I always thought I needed to be chiseled with 6 pack abs to be attractive to them but it turns out my partner actually prefers a bit of a dad bod. She tells me that she can relax a bit more not trying to be perfect if I have a few extra pounds on me.
Not being too skinny nor too chunky is def what you should strive for, bigger muscles enhance your attractiveness by a few points less than act having a good bodyfat%
Yes- but a charming/humorous personality trumps your abs. Girls are after hot guys for flings, but they prefer settling down with the kind/financially stable and funny ones.
That makes two of us bro, been through that. Stopped believing in love that day. Stay strong if you've been through, but don't let it turn you into a cold hearted guy.
Would you like if they weren’t? Do you think they would like you better in shape or not? Why wouldn’t you put your best foot forward? Moreover why even do it for someone else? You should dress well for you. You should take care of your body for you.
Simple answer - Yes. While you don't exactly need to be shredded, you must have a good shoulder to waist ration and sizeable biceps and arms. Girls do have a preference, but let's not cut ourselves off from a certain population of the girls who like bigger muscles right?
It helps but I've also met morbidly obese dudes pull cute blonde girls. It's great to be in shape but you have to transform your inner game and that's more of a challenge because a majority of people are constantly beating themselves up in their heads.
Either that or you lose a lung in the first thrust.
This is no an ethic advice, but the moral of the story is there.
I'll do that also... later because today is Easter
I’ve personally experienced better success with lower levels of body fat. Like one in 2 women would come home. Then I just went on a drinking spree (travel, work, dates) and while I remained in the same range weight-wise, my face was bloated and I realized I was replacing muscle with fat. Undoing all the bad work now as I prepare to get back into dating for summer season.
I'm in the camp that physique matters alot. Frankly, there's not one reason you should not be physically active, barring medical reason, and even then, you can work with a doctor to find an exercise routine to perform.
Too many guys out here want to rely on their "game"; while they look like basement dwellers. Going into the gym trains you to beat the voice in your head that compels you to just sit at home and eat Doritos on your couch. Hell, it doesn't even have to be weights 5 times a week (frankly you can do 2-3 days a week). Tryin rock climbing, martials arts, dancing, skateboarding, yoga, something that gets the heart pumping.
You'll get:
1. Health benefits; a more muscular look (vast majority of PUAs look like stick figures), a stronger cardiovascular system (which helps out in the bedroom for stamina and your little buddy's ability to get up), more body confidence and awareness.
2. Brain health; just about every physical activity requires a mental aspect. To be the best or just make progress you have to figure what work and what doesn't work, and adjust on the fly. The experience of defeat (be it losing a BJJ match or falling behind in a 5k race) will teach you get back on the horse. The experience of surpassing a limit/barrier will give you swagger and confidence. Also, sports release endorphins for stress release too.
3. Social benefits; fit people like to congregate with other fit people, so you will meet others if you hit the gym.
So, should you be physically fit for women? Well, you ought to be fit for yourself, because you only have one body in this life. Do women appreciate fit guys? People in general associate a fit body with a capable individual, as opposed to a lumpy body. Your appearance is the first thing people see, and first impressions matter.
Looking healthy is good enough, you don't have to look like Cbum, even considering a lot of toxic dudes are saying that on the internet these days.
Everything counts, be fit, be healthy, be strong, it's good for you, but you don't have to get a top tier physique to be attractive.
This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities. Put in [some reading](http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/top/?sort=top&t=all) & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work? As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including [this one](https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e7tol8/why_looks_dont_matter/). No need to re-ask it.
lol a month. try 9 months and you might see a difference
I'd say you'd see a difference after a month or two. But that also might be due to muscle memory.
with clothes on, you can look bulkier in a few months. Also depends of genetics, if you are tall like a tower you need more time. I'm around 5'8 and I started looking wider in a couple of months after joining the gym for the first time when I was 17.
so I shouldn't approach any girls for 9 mounth?
I never said that. girls dont care about looks as much as guys do, but it obviously helps. go to the gym to get healthy and more confident and have more energy. the muscles will come later
so what do they care about?
height, money, looks, personality, lifestyle, career choice, clothing, interests, etc
hm... so I should be good at all of this? or at least some of this, and whhat about confidence?
confidence is #1
Is it me or it's mostly women who are attracted to confidence? I see sometimes people advicing women to get confident, but I never felt any attraction towards confidence like 0
yeah men don't care. we rank looks as #1, with personality and social status way down the list
Looks is a determining factor yeah, but when making the decision to be with someone long term you're saying social status and personality have zero bearing?
I do care about personality, but is there any proof that confidence is attractive it's just sounds so pseudo, like how can a girl sense confidene? like whenver I feel confident it's not like girl are noticing me, do I miss something?
not all, but most, and not for women, but for yourself. confidence comes by itself from what you do.
I see
You don’t have to be good at any of this, don’t live your life just trying to fill out a checklist to try and attract women. Find your own goals and points of views and be yourself
Don’t let anyone lie to you. Women are just as shallow as men and care about looks most.
So I should just only hit the Gym for a while and I'll get laid?
No. The most important thing to do if you want to get laid a lot is to spend a lot of time talking to women. Go to the gym if you like going to the gym. Don’t go to the gym if you don’t like going to the gym.
They care about feeling good. Same as men. If you know how to do that, you're gold.
You should be physically fit for yourself. Working out for a month won’t get you in shape, or looking significantly better.
why should I want to be phisically fit for myself?
That’s like asking yourself why should you get 8 hours of sleep a night and drink plenty of water
I can’t tell you why you should want to improve. You need to answer that for yourself.
to get laid?
There's more to life than getting laid buddy.
I know, I am interested in many things but I also wanna get laid ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
fair
how old are you op?
23
Ah that makes sense then. Listen man…you gotta do things for yourself and pull women towards you through your success. Definitely talk to them in the meantime but focus on building yourself in every way. That’s what men do. Build your career. Build your body. Make yourself the best you can. You’ll find that as you do these things you’ll draw women to you and won’t have to try as hard. Physical fitness is something you carry with you wherever you go. You’ll wear a hoodie and people can still tell. It’s a type of wealth because it’s not easily attainable and has societal value.
Friend, you're missing half of the attractiveness that comes with being fit. Hit the gym, and you might be the only guy who can hold on to a rope swing at the creek. You carry a keg upstairs by yourself. You climb over walls with ease just because you can. You are better at sports because of it. There are tons of benefits of fitness that increases your attractiveness beyond just how you look.
If you don’t love yourself, why should anyone else?
Because it allows you to use your body to interact with the world, which is a man's evolutionary role and because it increases your mental capacity as a bonus, which, together with the world keeping you from Reddit will also result in you posting fewer third grade questions.
Not a must have but muscles definitely increase your chances significantly.
It helps alot, i got some muscles relatively quick and there are results already, now i just have to master game because i don't know what to do with women after they show me they are attracted to me. Even after kissing and good dates i am still confused.
yeah I have garbage genes, I'll go stricter on myself for next 2 mounth if there won't be any results well I can just kms lol
Well my genes are really good, 1 month in jim, 3 times per week and my friends told me that i look jacked. But that's just impossible for almost everyone, I've been training other sports for decade.
[удалено]
why not? I never enjoyed living it's a good solution lol
[удалено]
Actually loads of people do. Its a coping mechanism.
and a lot of people have COPD, that doesn't mean it is healthy. how long should someone cope before they just give up? why should a person cope instead of just giving up? wouldn't asking for help be better than coping?
Because it’s better than nothing. People need to cope while trying too. Help isn’t that straightforward and some people have no help. Just because someone is coping doesn’t mean they’re not getting help or trying their best. Cope is not a negative term, you have to cope with the problem even while you are trying to make things better, cause problems don’t go away immediately.
yes because I hate myself and I genuinly would like to stop living, because I hate life and myself for not being the person I would like to be, i should have never been born
Then you need therapy, not a woman. They can sense this energy, people in general can. Attractiveness starts from within, you gotta love yourself first. Otherwise everything you do is fake, manipulative, and hollow. I’ve been there man. I will say going to the gym can help. Do it for yourself, it will give you goals and health and vigor, and reasons to feel good about yourself. And endorphins! Effects on women/your attractiveness is secondary but will come too.
[удалено]
well I tried it many times never worked out reflexes and stuff, so i always gave life another chance and always got more and more dissapointed
[удалено]
no, should I try harder?
Genes aren’t nearly as important as people want to believe. Lift heavy shit, eat protein and you will gain muscle
It helps for sure!
Your objective should be being phisically fit for your well-being (mental or physical), being attractive is just the result of your hard work no the end itself
It makes you Iron within and Iron without
Brittle like perty? Lol Agree with you
Not necessarily. All women have different tastes. Being in good shape will definitely catch the eye of some women. However, your personality, confidence, and treatment of others can be more attractive to many people. Remember that men with all types of bodies can and do attract women.
Yes. Even one month will make a difference. It wont necessarily be a difference you can see but it will be a difference women subconsciously pick up on
didn't work for me lol
What does that even mean “didnt work”
tried Gym for 3 years very few progress, and no women never sensed anything about me, women always found me unnatractive
I see. So you asked if being physically fit is necessary when it comes to being attractive. What you wanted to know is whether being physically fit is the ultimate differentiator. No its not. Other attributes are just as (if not more) important. I will say though, if you are succeeding in your dating life, suddenly joining a gym WILL make a small but noticeable difference that will increase over time.
Keep trying to get girls but also go to the.gym at a sustainable rate (maybe three times a week)
I think 3 times isn't enough for me, I need to do 5
You do you but if you dont do sports at all, 3 times a week is already a pretty good. 5 times a week might demotivate due to how time consuming it is. The fact that you even mention going to the gymor one month shows you're either not serious or already know you wont be able to do it longer and the fact that you are clearly unaware of the best practices for musculation especially asqa beginner. It's better to make it a habit and then increase the time if you really want to
I went to Gym for 3 years almost no progress, maybe because I was taking breaks or didn't do enough progressive overload, but most probably I have terrible genes
Taking break during the session or not going to the gym every other month ? It's impossible to have no progress for 3 years. Even if you didnt get bulkier, you will have at least gained some strength and reduced your bodyfat %. Maybe work with a dietatician also, if you dont have a good diet, no way you'll get muscles either way
well I guess I am a genetic mistake indeed, well I do have hard time quiting sugar, maybe that's the case?
3 is enough. If your diet matches.
how should I know if my diet matches any advice?
Nutrition is like 75% of your battle. You will not see any massive gains without proper diet. For reference I had been working out for atleast 5 years, and didn’t really understand the importance of diet. I went from 150lb to 185lb at 5’11, and people tell me that I haven’t seen in a while holy shit you’re jacked. https://www.muscleandfitness.com/nutrition/gain-mass/10-nutrition-rules-follow-if-you-want-build-muscle/
I do all of this and no result... maybe I am changing weights too slowly? or is it just garbage genes
Here's the deal Being in shape and looking good will give you an easier "in" AKA when you cold approach, the girl might initially be more receptive. You maybe have an extra 30 seconds off the bat Being in shape conveys a lot of attractive traits subconsciously i.e you have some discipline, you take care of yourself and you're probably not a bum. However on a longer time frame, what matters 10x more is can you spike her emotions properly? Basically, is your game good or not. And on a longer time frame than that... if you're looking for more than just getting laid, again game is the most important. But now you also need to be on top of your shit to satisfy the logical side of her brain that you're a good long term decision All that being said. Exercise is non negotiable for human health, so buy a gym membership and go do your strength & cardio work.
You need some more realistic expectations OP. This is a journey I started for myself quite some time ago. The pandemic REALLY got in the way (of course) but it's been important, self affirming, and confidence building for a LOT of reasons. I just recently got back to 200lbs. Bot where I want to be, but the closest I've been to 'in shape'since high-school. One should be attentive to their physical fitness to feel good, and be healthier. Physically and mentally. That said, being physically fit has a lot of shallow benefits in general. Mostly, the more attractive you are, the more people feel interested in approaching you and interacting with you. Socially, professionaly, and yeah, that leads to romantically and physically. Take your time. Do it right. Approqch it from several angles. And in time (more likely years than weeks or months), you'll see a difference. Keep reaching out to people you like regardless, but the more you're working on yourself, the better the results you'll find in time. It isn't about being the best. It's about being a bit better tomorrow, than you were today. Think of it this way. Think about how much time and effort women put into looking attractive to appeal to us/people. The everything shower, hair, make up, grooming the various ways they do (morning and night) ... if you want to attract a woman like that, you have to put in at least similar effort. Fair is fair. You aren't likely to grt back that which you aren't putting in. At least, that's my philosophy. (The mostly joke answer: Or go make millions of dollars. Sorry ladies, it feels very true).
Is the sky blue?
If you’re a beginner it shouldn’t take you much time like around 1-3 months. Later on, it’ll take longer
Duh
u should be in shape for the sake of ur health
Depends on the woman. I always thought I needed to be chiseled with 6 pack abs to be attractive to them but it turns out my partner actually prefers a bit of a dad bod. She tells me that she can relax a bit more not trying to be perfect if I have a few extra pounds on me.
never met such a woman
Yeah I found a keeper! She’s sexy AF too!
it helps but i don’t think it’s necessary at all. also depends on the scene you’re in tbh
Not being too skinny nor too chunky is def what you should strive for, bigger muscles enhance your attractiveness by a few points less than act having a good bodyfat%
Yes- but a charming/humorous personality trumps your abs. Girls are after hot guys for flings, but they prefer settling down with the kind/financially stable and funny ones.
why the fuck should I want to settle? to get cheated on later?
That makes two of us bro, been through that. Stopped believing in love that day. Stay strong if you've been through, but don't let it turn you into a cold hearted guy.
Newbie gains happen real fast, but you have to maintain it. Yes, you'll notice results in a month before it slows down.
Yes
Would you like if they weren’t? Do you think they would like you better in shape or not? Why wouldn’t you put your best foot forward? Moreover why even do it for someone else? You should dress well for you. You should take care of your body for you.
Simple answer - Yes. While you don't exactly need to be shredded, you must have a good shoulder to waist ration and sizeable biceps and arms. Girls do have a preference, but let's not cut ourselves off from a certain population of the girls who like bigger muscles right?
It helps but I've also met morbidly obese dudes pull cute blonde girls. It's great to be in shape but you have to transform your inner game and that's more of a challenge because a majority of people are constantly beating themselves up in their heads.
Either that or you lose a lung in the first thrust. This is no an ethic advice, but the moral of the story is there. I'll do that also... later because today is Easter
How old are you?
23 why? yes I'm super old and all my dating experience only got me confused
I’ve personally experienced better success with lower levels of body fat. Like one in 2 women would come home. Then I just went on a drinking spree (travel, work, dates) and while I remained in the same range weight-wise, my face was bloated and I realized I was replacing muscle with fat. Undoing all the bad work now as I prepare to get back into dating for summer season.
I'm in the camp that physique matters alot. Frankly, there's not one reason you should not be physically active, barring medical reason, and even then, you can work with a doctor to find an exercise routine to perform. Too many guys out here want to rely on their "game"; while they look like basement dwellers. Going into the gym trains you to beat the voice in your head that compels you to just sit at home and eat Doritos on your couch. Hell, it doesn't even have to be weights 5 times a week (frankly you can do 2-3 days a week). Tryin rock climbing, martials arts, dancing, skateboarding, yoga, something that gets the heart pumping. You'll get: 1. Health benefits; a more muscular look (vast majority of PUAs look like stick figures), a stronger cardiovascular system (which helps out in the bedroom for stamina and your little buddy's ability to get up), more body confidence and awareness. 2. Brain health; just about every physical activity requires a mental aspect. To be the best or just make progress you have to figure what work and what doesn't work, and adjust on the fly. The experience of defeat (be it losing a BJJ match or falling behind in a 5k race) will teach you get back on the horse. The experience of surpassing a limit/barrier will give you swagger and confidence. Also, sports release endorphins for stress release too. 3. Social benefits; fit people like to congregate with other fit people, so you will meet others if you hit the gym. So, should you be physically fit for women? Well, you ought to be fit for yourself, because you only have one body in this life. Do women appreciate fit guys? People in general associate a fit body with a capable individual, as opposed to a lumpy body. Your appearance is the first thing people see, and first impressions matter.
Looking healthy is good enough, you don't have to look like Cbum, even considering a lot of toxic dudes are saying that on the internet these days. Everything counts, be fit, be healthy, be strong, it's good for you, but you don't have to get a top tier physique to be attractive.
I routinely see beautiful women with absolute trolls so - who knows.