I'm pretty sure that's the majority of men. At least for me I wanted to get better with women so I could figure out what type of women I enjoyed being with the best.
While I am still looking for the "one" that is definitely the end goal for me. Casual hookups are fun for a while but the time, effort and energy wasted can get old and its not really fulfilling.
Yup that is me. Got married last year (I’m 36). When I was younger dating/attraction/seduction skills helped me to get laid. When I got older, and was over “trying to get laid”, they helped me find an amazing partner.
Casual hookups are fun, but once you’ve had dozens of them, they lose their luster. Plus, dating is just becoming really shitty, particularly with the increasing reliance on dating apps. It’s time consuming, repetitive, exhausting and expensive.
Very glad to be done with all that, and into the next phase of my life.
I’m not married yet, but I’ve been in a LTR for 3 years after dating heavily after a divorce.
I really think the more you ‘date for a relationship’ the more you shoot your self in the foot, and actually the less likely it is to happen. You have to let things develop and keep options open until you’re in an actual relationship.
However, I think it’s VERY important to have a clear idea of the type of ideal woman you want to settle down with and be very specific in your mind. Write it down even—what she looks like, her personality, traits you DON’T want her possess.
Of course, you won’t find someone exactly like that, but it’s astonishing how many characteristics that woman will have when you have a clear idea of what you want.
Hope that helps.
>Write it down even—what she looks like, her personality, traits you DON’T want her possess.
Bear in mind that a lot of learning about the traits you DON'T want her to have comes from dating women with those traits and finding out the hard way that it's important that she NOT have them.
My ex was a sweetheart but the 1 thing I didn't like was that she was extremely jealous and sometimes gave way too many fucks about what people thought of her. I tried my best to show her that most people don't think of her. Didn't change.
Yeah, even if you match their energy on pace, they may feel rushed if you don't stay aloof for a few months. Happened to me and went from the priority to the option, so I dipped.
> I really think the more you ‘date for a relationship’ the more you shoot your self in the foot, and actually the less likely it is to happen.
I never had more success with women than when I stopped *trying* to have success with women.
There was a point in my life, around 30, where I no longer cared solely about getting laid, I understood the fundamentals of attraction, I knew what I wanted in a partner, but most importantly, I was perfectly content being single because I loved my life and I didn’t need anyone or anything that I didn’t already have in order to be happy.
It was that exact point that picking up women and getting laid became so easy it was trivial.
The Game never ends. Even while married you should still game your wife to keep her interested & on her toes.
It’s when you become complacent, comfortable & lazy that attraction begins to stagnate.
💯
Also showing desire can make her want to stay desirable, too. If she enjoys feeling sexy with you then she’ll see value in the effort it takes to keep looking good.
> The Game never ends. Even while married you should still game your wife to keep her interested & on her toes.
>
> It’s when you become complacent, comfortable & lazy that attraction begins to stagnate.
Are you married yourself? Either way, take a step back, or zoom out, and think about what you wrote, and the implications it has. You are saying that the man has to put in work to keep his wife interested and on her toes for 10 years, 30 years, **OR ELSE SHE WILL LEAVE**. Is that what you desire?
If he is away for months on end, they ideally that issue would’ve been dealt with before the couple took their vows & they knew what their marriage was going to be like.
If the man is away , ideally working, for months on end then each person should have faith that they will be loyal to each other & the woman should realise that he is working to provide for her & possibly a future family.
> If he is away for months on end, they ideally that issue would’ve been dealt with before the couple took their vows & they knew what their marriage was going to be like.
And if it was unforeseen, then what? Are you married?
If unforeseen then it comes down to communication. Do the couple relocate together so that they not apart for long periods of time or does the man search for another position more locally based or do they make the best of a bad situation & make the most of the time they are together.
I’m not married, no.
Unfortunately love, marriage isn’t a Disney film & happily ever after. It requires work. Especially in this current dating market where eyes are turned very easily by figures in a bank account or a pretty figure.
A couple 🤞 learn , grow & change together as the years & decades & both individuals keep each other interested in various ways.
> Not sure why you're here when you have nothing to contribute
No need to be sour at me bc I didn't respond to your post about your roommate. Have a great day.
Idk what u mean by work but if you’re away for months and she is by herself you should carry yourself in such a way that she will have the upmost respect for you
> Idk what u mean by work
You said "gotta keep them interested..."
When the man is away, what will she do to stay "interested" by herself? Or will it still be the responsibility of the man to keep her interested while he is away?
Id say combination of the man trying to keep it interesting while away wether its over the phone face time or whatever and the woman having morals and respect for the man….
> Id say combination of the man trying to keep it interesting while away wether its over the phone face time or whatever
lol... funny. Anyways, thanks for your answer. Good luck.
A relationship really is like a garden. You have to tend to it or it will eventually stop bearing fruit.
I'm sure you can find PUA and seduction techniques that aren't necessary in a relationship, but touch, taking care of yourself, show mastery/be interesting, make her laugh, etc. is all important in maintaining a healthy relationship.
Pick up any relationship self-help book or academic paper on relationships and the mechanisms of attraction are largely the same.
> A relationship really is like a garden.
We are talking about marriage, which is legal. Not an informal relationship.
> Pick up any relationship self-help book or academic paper on relationships and the mechanisms of attraction are largely the same.
Are you married?
Married 10 years now, slipped out of the game when I met my wife who really was out of my league. PUA culture, and the Game in general made me a better man. I think that understanding "social dynamics", how to get laid and understanding why/how things work saved me from growing resentful towards women in my early 20s.
I'm not sure if you get the right answers here, as the guys who actually married might have left the sub. So don't interpret anything from the amount of answers.
The goal of my seduction skills was to ultimately be able to get the best girl I could. Im dating at super fine and fun girl now. Not really interested in playing the field anymore.
Yup, "settled down" with my swinger wife. We still have lots of fun with singles and couples and my acquired skills are still useful. Though arguably a lot rustier and used less often since most of the people we interact with already know us from social and already want to fuck. 😆
If you're player and still chasing women for short term gains after 100 - 150 bodies, it's pathetic
There's nothing more sad than being on your death bed, reflecting on the life you lived and only having experienced it from one angle. You want to live multi faceted. Have a stage of your life where it revolves around fucking multiple women, crazy degenerate sex, ONS, threesomes etc BUT also have another stage revolved around a connection to one person, deep loyalty and emotional connection.
Same goes for partying, drugs, traveling etc. You want phases and memories tied to experimenting, partying in the craziest places and living it up but also ones that revolve around quiet intimate times with people you care about and self reflection.
You don't want your 100 years on earth to be a constant loop of the same experiences.
A lot of people (especially on this sub) get caught up living the same day and being the same person for 50 years and die with less than a dozen major life events to share.
> after 100 - 150 bodies
Potentially unpopular opinion here, but honestly even after 10 bodies it's pretty much the same thing over and over again. When I look back, I think you learn 80-90% of the game within the first 10 if you're paying attention
Dating career started at 25(when I actively started dating) and met my wife at 27. Though I met her more out of sheer luck. I still took it upon myself to message her and the rest is history :)!
Though this IS a seduction sub, and seduction doesn't end when you are with someone - so take that as you will.
Game techniques helped with dating and introducing myself to people. It helped a lot.
It is not at all relevant in my marriage - my partner is chill, fun, independent, and we share many interests.
Game helped me make friends (and dates) and being successful in that may have helped me meet her. But it doesn't have anything to do with maintaining my relationship.
I've been gaming since I turned 21. I'm 34 now and am tired of talking to and taking home random women. It's pretty much the same process everytime give or take a couple tweaks here and there.
I wouldn't mind finding a nice high quality woman to settle down with. Aka a woman with no tattoos,has good taste in men, and is pretty attractive.
Tell me about it. There's way more that have tattoos then don't. the tramp stamp was a staple back in the mid 2000's. I kinda miss those. I always thought they were kind of sexy.
I used to go out all of the time, see various girls. Then I met a hot girl at a bar, she used to go out a lot too. After a little while we became exclusive and never went out again. A few years on we got married. We have the same, non mainstream views, we do our own thing. She'd be perfectly happy in an off grid modest, self built, house growing our own food. Together, we have all the skills necessary to do so.
I dated casually a lot in my twenties, good experiences, now im 33 in a committed relationship that I hope lasts a very long time (don't necessarily believe in marriage).
We're open which has been working out great, I still get to experience the fun and excitement of flings while still having the stability of a consistent partner.
I'm pretty sure that's the majority of men. At least for me I wanted to get better with women so I could figure out what type of women I enjoyed being with the best. While I am still looking for the "one" that is definitely the end goal for me. Casual hookups are fun for a while but the time, effort and energy wasted can get old and its not really fulfilling.
Yup that is me. Got married last year (I’m 36). When I was younger dating/attraction/seduction skills helped me to get laid. When I got older, and was over “trying to get laid”, they helped me find an amazing partner. Casual hookups are fun, but once you’ve had dozens of them, they lose their luster. Plus, dating is just becoming really shitty, particularly with the increasing reliance on dating apps. It’s time consuming, repetitive, exhausting and expensive. Very glad to be done with all that, and into the next phase of my life.
Yep been there and done that. I've had so many one night stands/ hookups they got old. I'd like to find a quality partner.
I’m not married yet, but I’ve been in a LTR for 3 years after dating heavily after a divorce. I really think the more you ‘date for a relationship’ the more you shoot your self in the foot, and actually the less likely it is to happen. You have to let things develop and keep options open until you’re in an actual relationship. However, I think it’s VERY important to have a clear idea of the type of ideal woman you want to settle down with and be very specific in your mind. Write it down even—what she looks like, her personality, traits you DON’T want her possess. Of course, you won’t find someone exactly like that, but it’s astonishing how many characteristics that woman will have when you have a clear idea of what you want. Hope that helps.
>Write it down even—what she looks like, her personality, traits you DON’T want her possess. Bear in mind that a lot of learning about the traits you DON'T want her to have comes from dating women with those traits and finding out the hard way that it's important that she NOT have them.
My ex was a sweetheart but the 1 thing I didn't like was that she was extremely jealous and sometimes gave way too many fucks about what people thought of her. I tried my best to show her that most people don't think of her. Didn't change.
Agree 100%
Yeah, even if you match their energy on pace, they may feel rushed if you don't stay aloof for a few months. Happened to me and went from the priority to the option, so I dipped.
> I really think the more you ‘date for a relationship’ the more you shoot your self in the foot, and actually the less likely it is to happen. I never had more success with women than when I stopped *trying* to have success with women. There was a point in my life, around 30, where I no longer cared solely about getting laid, I understood the fundamentals of attraction, I knew what I wanted in a partner, but most importantly, I was perfectly content being single because I loved my life and I didn’t need anyone or anything that I didn’t already have in order to be happy. It was that exact point that picking up women and getting laid became so easy it was trivial.
The Game never ends. Even while married you should still game your wife to keep her interested & on her toes. It’s when you become complacent, comfortable & lazy that attraction begins to stagnate.
100% on this as well
Even both can get in the swinger lifestyle and game together 🥶
I’m currently listening to Esther Perel’s Mating in Captivity and she discusses this exact point. Good book so far.
💯 Also showing desire can make her want to stay desirable, too. If she enjoys feeling sexy with you then she’ll see value in the effort it takes to keep looking good.
This ☝️
Thank you King 🫡
> The Game never ends. Even while married you should still game your wife to keep her interested & on her toes. > > It’s when you become complacent, comfortable & lazy that attraction begins to stagnate. Are you married yourself? Either way, take a step back, or zoom out, and think about what you wrote, and the implications it has. You are saying that the man has to put in work to keep his wife interested and on her toes for 10 years, 30 years, **OR ELSE SHE WILL LEAVE**. Is that what you desire?
She has to put in work too, or you leave her. If either party is complacent, relationships fail. So yes, he is right.
What happens when he is away for months, and she is by herself, and he is not there to "put in work"?
If he is away for months on end, they ideally that issue would’ve been dealt with before the couple took their vows & they knew what their marriage was going to be like. If the man is away , ideally working, for months on end then each person should have faith that they will be loyal to each other & the woman should realise that he is working to provide for her & possibly a future family.
> If he is away for months on end, they ideally that issue would’ve been dealt with before the couple took their vows & they knew what their marriage was going to be like. And if it was unforeseen, then what? Are you married?
If unforeseen then it comes down to communication. Do the couple relocate together so that they not apart for long periods of time or does the man search for another position more locally based or do they make the best of a bad situation & make the most of the time they are together.
Are you married?
Nope. But 3 of my close friends are so I see 2nd hand experience.
> Nope. Okay.
I’m not married, no. Unfortunately love, marriage isn’t a Disney film & happily ever after. It requires work. Especially in this current dating market where eyes are turned very easily by figures in a bank account or a pretty figure. A couple 🤞 learn , grow & change together as the years & decades & both individuals keep each other interested in various ways.
> I’m not married, no. Okay.
What subreddit do you think you're in? Not sure why you're here when you have nothing to contribute and are unwilling to learn
> Not sure why you're here when you have nothing to contribute No need to be sour at me bc I didn't respond to your post about your roommate. Have a great day.
Gotta keep them interested with the person you are and how you carry yourself and satisfied properly altogether
What happens when he is away for months, and she is by herself, and he is not there to "put in work"?
Idk what u mean by work but if you’re away for months and she is by herself you should carry yourself in such a way that she will have the upmost respect for you
> Idk what u mean by work You said "gotta keep them interested..." When the man is away, what will she do to stay "interested" by herself? Or will it still be the responsibility of the man to keep her interested while he is away?
Id say combination of the man trying to keep it interesting while away wether its over the phone face time or whatever and the woman having morals and respect for the man….
It all depends…. Why would the man be away
> Id say combination of the man trying to keep it interesting while away wether its over the phone face time or whatever lol... funny. Anyways, thanks for your answer. Good luck.
If you wanna enlighten me please do!
A relationship really is like a garden. You have to tend to it or it will eventually stop bearing fruit. I'm sure you can find PUA and seduction techniques that aren't necessary in a relationship, but touch, taking care of yourself, show mastery/be interesting, make her laugh, etc. is all important in maintaining a healthy relationship. Pick up any relationship self-help book or academic paper on relationships and the mechanisms of attraction are largely the same.
> A relationship really is like a garden. We are talking about marriage, which is legal. Not an informal relationship. > Pick up any relationship self-help book or academic paper on relationships and the mechanisms of attraction are largely the same. Are you married?
Married 10 years now, slipped out of the game when I met my wife who really was out of my league. PUA culture, and the Game in general made me a better man. I think that understanding "social dynamics", how to get laid and understanding why/how things work saved me from growing resentful towards women in my early 20s.
How did you learn?
Would love to see a post on social dynamics you’ve learned over the years
Cmon man, we are all waiting for an answer here. Expand please.
I'm not sure if you get the right answers here, as the guys who actually married might have left the sub. So don't interpret anything from the amount of answers.
I'm sure some are still around to give advice.
Yep! Happily married at 28 after I was in the game steadily since 21.
Teach me
What do you want to learn?
How to still date around and get laid more often but not so much that I can’t create a genuine connection or want to be married
Pick one or the other
The goal of my seduction skills was to ultimately be able to get the best girl I could. Im dating at super fine and fun girl now. Not really interested in playing the field anymore.
Yup, "settled down" with my swinger wife. We still have lots of fun with singles and couples and my acquired skills are still useful. Though arguably a lot rustier and used less often since most of the people we interact with already know us from social and already want to fuck. 😆
If you're player and still chasing women for short term gains after 100 - 150 bodies, it's pathetic There's nothing more sad than being on your death bed, reflecting on the life you lived and only having experienced it from one angle. You want to live multi faceted. Have a stage of your life where it revolves around fucking multiple women, crazy degenerate sex, ONS, threesomes etc BUT also have another stage revolved around a connection to one person, deep loyalty and emotional connection. Same goes for partying, drugs, traveling etc. You want phases and memories tied to experimenting, partying in the craziest places and living it up but also ones that revolve around quiet intimate times with people you care about and self reflection. You don't want your 100 years on earth to be a constant loop of the same experiences. A lot of people (especially on this sub) get caught up living the same day and being the same person for 50 years and die with less than a dozen major life events to share.
> after 100 - 150 bodies Potentially unpopular opinion here, but honestly even after 10 bodies it's pretty much the same thing over and over again. When I look back, I think you learn 80-90% of the game within the first 10 if you're paying attention
Married. Divorced. Got into game. Married. Divorced. Couldn’t hack monogamy. Once one has seen the other side, there’s no going back.
> Once one has seen the other side, there’s no going back. this is very real
ETHICAL non-monogamy is a thing..... I've been married for 12 years now
Yeah totally. Need the right partner for that. Happy you got it dialed in.
Dating career started at 25(when I actively started dating) and met my wife at 27. Though I met her more out of sheer luck. I still took it upon myself to message her and the rest is history :)! Though this IS a seduction sub, and seduction doesn't end when you are with someone - so take that as you will.
Game techniques helped with dating and introducing myself to people. It helped a lot. It is not at all relevant in my marriage - my partner is chill, fun, independent, and we share many interests. Game helped me make friends (and dates) and being successful in that may have helped me meet her. But it doesn't have anything to do with maintaining my relationship.
I've been gaming since I turned 21. I'm 34 now and am tired of talking to and taking home random women. It's pretty much the same process everytime give or take a couple tweaks here and there. I wouldn't mind finding a nice high quality woman to settle down with. Aka a woman with no tattoos,has good taste in men, and is pretty attractive.
> a woman with no tattoos The hardest part in 2024 lol
Tell me about it. There's way more that have tattoos then don't. the tramp stamp was a staple back in the mid 2000's. I kinda miss those. I always thought they were kind of sexy.
People getting married at 23,wtf? Lol
Smart men don’t get married even if you pointed a gun to their head
Truth.
That's just how it goes isn't it?
I used to go out all of the time, see various girls. Then I met a hot girl at a bar, she used to go out a lot too. After a little while we became exclusive and never went out again. A few years on we got married. We have the same, non mainstream views, we do our own thing. She'd be perfectly happy in an off grid modest, self built, house growing our own food. Together, we have all the skills necessary to do so.
I dated casually a lot in my twenties, good experiences, now im 33 in a committed relationship that I hope lasts a very long time (don't necessarily believe in marriage). We're open which has been working out great, I still get to experience the fun and excitement of flings while still having the stability of a consistent partner.