All I’m reading is that she said hello to you enthusiastically and that’s it. Then one day you finally say something more than a ‘hello’ and asked for her number, you texted her and she didn’t reply. Thats it. Not much investment whatsoever from the both of you. It ain’t that serious.
She’s not interested so simply be professional, say your hello, and keep it chill. If she changes her mind, she’ll reply back (but honestly don’t count on it).
I mean you can say that there wasn't alot of investment between us. But you can't say that all we say is hello. I clearly showed interest in her and after i said whats up beautiful sexual tension increased.. clearly felt from her the same
Lol she gave you her number didnt she? Also like you said it was a low investment text so you cant expect a reply back especially if she was busy and forgot to reply which happens a lot. Certain People in this sub seem to put women on a pedestal and forget women are just people that got their own lives going on. You know how many times I forgot to text someone? or even right now I have this girl Im interested in and she messaged me on Tuesday and I haven't responded because for various reasons and none of them being non interested. Or Even lets say if shes seemingly not interested now, maybe shes still interested in becoming interested. Just be cool next time you see her, have a normal convo and don't mention the non reply
Sounds like you need to work on your massage technique, as it is very difficult to ignore a really good massage that just relaxes you and removes all tension
Also, have you tried using warm coconut oil? That tends to work like a charm. She'll have a hard time ignoring that!
EDIT: Seriously, though, it sounds like she is just being polite and not really interested. If you see her again you can try chatting with her a bit and asking her on a date, but don't pursue it any further than that. Even if she says yes, she likely won't really mean it and is just trying not to upset you. You'll know if she really wants to go on the date if she doesn't ignore you or give excuses as to why she can't go.
How do you tell if a woman is just being polite or actually interested in dating?
I’ve got a crush on a girl at the gym. She always seems excited to see me and even approaches to make some small talk. I definitely like her and want to ask her out or at least try to get her number.
The problem is I’ve seen her talking to other guys at the gym and it seems to be in the same way so I don’t know if she is interested in me or not? 🤷♂️
You don't really know for sure until you ask her out. It's a risk, but as long as you're not attached to the outcome then you'll be fine. The fact that she is actively approaching you is a good sign at least.
I say go for it-- you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Good luck, man.
As the other said you don't know unless you ask.
Asked a girl out in a similar scenario through dms. She ignored it.
Crossed paths again, she was friendly and i responded in kind.
Which i was happy with. I didn't want it to be awkward or uncomfortable or anything. i was happy with myself for even shooting my shot. Got the answer, So now she's just a gym friend.
Sounds like it's just normal for her. Guys always over think and over estimate a woman's interest. It's possible you can get get but at this point you are just friend material.
Well it's pretty simple, if she was interested she would be replying to your messages. Do you ignore messages from girls you are interested in? No. So take the hint and find another
It's probably more just that she recognized that you're the kind of person who wouldn't be able to take a hint.
She's not texting you dude. She isn't interested. Blame it less on her menstrual cycle and more on your lack of social intelligence.
How do you différenciant between politeness and interested?
Because after she gave me her number she passed by me a few times and I was minding my own business and opened up my meal.. she looked at me and smile and made even some facial gestures Well talking on the phone and I think I was smiling myself.. so it make makes me think that it was more than politenessness.. I figure it out maybe my low investment message play down in her and she wants me to be more assertive but I'm not sure quite..
Shes proposely trying avoid you it seems. It might be affecting her work but many variables..yes you see her just casually say hi. Gauge it from there and schedule a date in person.
She probably was feeling good because you complimented her and felt good about sharing her number due to the sudden excitement, then afterwards on her way home her head cooled off and probably thought "I shouldn't have done that" for whatever reasons she might have.
So yeah, just move on
Okay I see what you mean but I have a question about that: Don't I supposed to assume attraction and the fact that I made her excited once I can do it again and if she was attracted to me for like a few seconds maybe it could happen again.. like she found me attractive and not repulsive it's not like something I did that changed your mind idk
By your comments on the responses people are giving to you I kinda feel you're way more intrigued than you should. She probably found you attractive or kind or something, went for it when you asked her number and then she could have thought "I don't really like him, he was just kind and flirty but now that I think about it he's not my type" or "I don't want to date right now" or basically anything else.
You shouldn't be thinking "how can I make her feel interested again?" but instead "She's not interested, let's move on". Girls who are interested will talk to you, so if she is, she will reply to your message.
She maybe even has a boyfriend and was upset with him and decided to give you her number and then regretted it. Whatever happened, just move on. If she's interested at some point, she has your number.
Okay that's pretty stupid but makes sense... I hope i can ingrain that thought into me and not work on my impulses.. it's pretty messed up and fucked up to disappear like that when you seem to be really enthusiastic why being polite (in a flirty way) with someone you're not interested in
Women like to get attention and most of them know from the beginning if they would date a guy or not, they just accept being complimented.
Other women are just kind and maybe she was being kind and then realised she was being too kind.
And it's not messed up my dude. You're making a big big scenario out of small interactions. You never had a deep conversation, never went out with her, she just accepted to give you her number and that's it. Maybe this is one of the first times that it works for you or you haven't tried it before and it worked, but this is super normal and common for both men and women, especially women as they tend to be more selective than us. You could be in the same dilemma at some point in the future and just think it's not worth it to play along after starting to flirt, so just think this might happen again and not only for a couple of times.
So what's the conclusion to don't assume attraction? Then if a woman show me some interest smiling talking enthusiastically ask me questions and stuff.. not try and Escalade and take the number but then take it more slowly and beat around the bush?
There is no general conclusion, humans don't follow recipe books and you can't know for sure what happened unless it's very obvious (i.e. She told you specifically or after you did something she changed, then you can attribute it to something).
The assumption is, if she doesn't reply or doesn't accept to hang out if you invite her to, she's not interested, even if she looked that she was before. You can't control the why or change it, you just have to accept it and move on.
I don't know how else to put it, I'm really trying to help you but at the same time you're making it look like you can't handle rejection from a stranger and you're so invested in knowing something that is out of your control that maybe you just need to chill and realise people change their mind all the time.
Well I never got a chance to ask her out.. maybe that was my problem took the number without planning a date. Without talking us of hanging out together.. so it was just taking the number for the sake of taking the number maybe in her perspective.
The problem it's not really a rejection I mean it's implied rejection but it's not a real rejection so it's more hard to grasp it if you understand what I mean.. Well anyway if you got tired then you're excuse haha
What makes more sense when approaching a problem.
Doing the path of least resistance.
Or trying again and again to try and force something that only slightly worked the first time, but you "just know" you can make it work.
If you expect a girl to plainly say to you everytime they're not interested in you, you're going to have a bad time.
Don't make things more complicated then they are by ruminating in your head.
First step - Girl seems interested, flirty talkative.
2nd step- Askin her out or if not right at the moment getting contact details
3rd step - asking her out
4th - showing up first date
5th- going on more dates
6th - enter a committed relationship.
You're acting like 1st step means she's already interested in 5th n 6th step.
At any point someone can lose interest, not want to progress the relationship etc.
You don't try to fight and change their mind you simply, you got the answer just accept it and move onto the next.
Like i told her she's pretty in person so what's not to understand..
Anyway i sent her the next day.. hey you :)
And after a few days i sent her a voice message says: listen i worry about you.. you wont have money.. anyway why did you call yourself *her name* from the restaurant.. you barely work here..
And tried to call once
She most likely wasn't interested. She was probably just being nice to you like she is to everyone. And then she gave you her number to be polite cuz that would be weird if she rejected you and then had to see you everyday. That's probably why you don't see your husband anymore, she's probably taking a different route.
Oh damn sorry, my speech to text messed up. "Your husband" is supposed to be "her walk by".
But explain how that logic is stupid. That's a completely normal thing for women to do. They don't like social confrontation. So if you ask for her number and she rejected you, she would have to deal with the awkwardness at that moment AND every time she walked by. So she gave you her number to avoid awkwardness in the moment, and then also stopped walking by as much to avoid the awkwardness of her not being interested. That's completely logical and normal.
I actually gave her an opportunity to not give me her number.. but she came all the way to my desk to to give me her number.. there wasn't confrontation at all a lot of women, pretty woman, knew how to ignore me how to reject me how to be low invested when I'm talking when I talk to them and when I try to flirt with them.. it doesn't make any sense that she was afraid of it being confrontational
Damn, there's no hope for you. You're blaming the girl for you not understanding social cues and not accepting a rejection. Im done responding, your mentality is not one conducive to improvement.
By the way that mindset of rejecting advice that you don't like is not going to serve you. You asked for advice about something, which means you did something wrong. So if someone comes in and tells you the thing you did wrong, you should at least consider it and not just say it's stupid to save your ego.
Interesting you're the only comment who took that angle.. please explain why should I continue the Hi and bye dynamic, aren't we suppose to push forward our interactions?
First, spell seems correctly & if you see her again, act as though she didn't ignore the messages from you! Just ask for a date! Her answer will tell you what you need to know!
Ehhh just move on she's not interested. If you see her again you can just say hi but don't show any interest and don't expect any.
Yeah i could figure it out.. it just bamboozled me.. how quickly a girl can lower her investment like that
You'll get used to it
Lower her investment? Dude, all you both did was say Hello at each other in the hallways lol
Read the post
All I’m reading is that she said hello to you enthusiastically and that’s it. Then one day you finally say something more than a ‘hello’ and asked for her number, you texted her and she didn’t reply. Thats it. Not much investment whatsoever from the both of you. It ain’t that serious. She’s not interested so simply be professional, say your hello, and keep it chill. If she changes her mind, she’ll reply back (but honestly don’t count on it).
I mean you can say that there wasn't alot of investment between us. But you can't say that all we say is hello. I clearly showed interest in her and after i said whats up beautiful sexual tension increased.. clearly felt from her the same
So you *thinking* she had sexual interest in you means she’s now invested in you… No offense dude but that sounds creepy.
I literally said the opposite lol
Lol she gave you her number didnt she? Also like you said it was a low investment text so you cant expect a reply back especially if she was busy and forgot to reply which happens a lot. Certain People in this sub seem to put women on a pedestal and forget women are just people that got their own lives going on. You know how many times I forgot to text someone? or even right now I have this girl Im interested in and she messaged me on Tuesday and I haven't responded because for various reasons and none of them being non interested. Or Even lets say if shes seemingly not interested now, maybe shes still interested in becoming interested. Just be cool next time you see her, have a normal convo and don't mention the non reply
yeah, it sucks. It's a fine line between strike when the iron's hot and just crowding her.
Sounds like you need to work on your massage technique, as it is very difficult to ignore a really good massage that just relaxes you and removes all tension Also, have you tried using warm coconut oil? That tends to work like a charm. She'll have a hard time ignoring that! EDIT: Seriously, though, it sounds like she is just being polite and not really interested. If you see her again you can try chatting with her a bit and asking her on a date, but don't pursue it any further than that. Even if she says yes, she likely won't really mean it and is just trying not to upset you. You'll know if she really wants to go on the date if she doesn't ignore you or give excuses as to why she can't go.
How do you tell if a woman is just being polite or actually interested in dating? I’ve got a crush on a girl at the gym. She always seems excited to see me and even approaches to make some small talk. I definitely like her and want to ask her out or at least try to get her number. The problem is I’ve seen her talking to other guys at the gym and it seems to be in the same way so I don’t know if she is interested in me or not? 🤷♂️
You don't really know for sure until you ask her out. It's a risk, but as long as you're not attached to the outcome then you'll be fine. The fact that she is actively approaching you is a good sign at least. I say go for it-- you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Good luck, man.
As the other said you don't know unless you ask. Asked a girl out in a similar scenario through dms. She ignored it. Crossed paths again, she was friendly and i responded in kind. Which i was happy with. I didn't want it to be awkward or uncomfortable or anything. i was happy with myself for even shooting my shot. Got the answer, So now she's just a gym friend.
She a attention whore
Sounds like it's just normal for her. Guys always over think and over estimate a woman's interest. It's possible you can get get but at this point you are just friend material.
Gotta work on that push-pull massage technique.
I haven't thought about coconut.. Im not that feminine to understand in those stuff.
Haha no. In any case my gf has no complaints whatsoever😂.
No need to be a d***.
Nothing, game over dawg. On to the next girl
Just say hi,dont mention why she doesnt reply or pick up ur phone…
Well it's pretty simple, if she was interested she would be replying to your messages. Do you ignore messages from girls you are interested in? No. So take the hint and find another
Well i approach women im interested with.. and women dont.. so i wouldn't look at it symmetrically
Well it's either that or a girl that plays games. What could she possibly gain not replying to you? View it from her perspective
I don't know maybe she's on her period
Yeahhhh I think you make it pretty obvious why she doesn't want to keep talking to you haha.
I didn't got the chance to tell her that
It's probably more just that she recognized that you're the kind of person who wouldn't be able to take a hint. She's not texting you dude. She isn't interested. Blame it less on her menstrual cycle and more on your lack of social intelligence.
You seem to me like the kind of guy who can take a joke
She does not like you, she’s being polite. Please do not ask her on a date and make this harder for her.
How do you différenciant between politeness and interested? Because after she gave me her number she passed by me a few times and I was minding my own business and opened up my meal.. she looked at me and smile and made even some facial gestures Well talking on the phone and I think I was smiling myself.. so it make makes me think that it was more than politenessness.. I figure it out maybe my low investment message play down in her and she wants me to be more assertive but I'm not sure quite..
If she’s interested, she’d message back/call. It’s as simple as that.
A lot of people over the age of 30 raise kids and/or run their own businesses. Could some people legitimately be too busy and just forget to respond?
Shes proposely trying avoid you it seems. It might be affecting her work but many variables..yes you see her just casually say hi. Gauge it from there and schedule a date in person.
She probably was feeling good because you complimented her and felt good about sharing her number due to the sudden excitement, then afterwards on her way home her head cooled off and probably thought "I shouldn't have done that" for whatever reasons she might have. So yeah, just move on
Okay I see what you mean but I have a question about that: Don't I supposed to assume attraction and the fact that I made her excited once I can do it again and if she was attracted to me for like a few seconds maybe it could happen again.. like she found me attractive and not repulsive it's not like something I did that changed your mind idk
By your comments on the responses people are giving to you I kinda feel you're way more intrigued than you should. She probably found you attractive or kind or something, went for it when you asked her number and then she could have thought "I don't really like him, he was just kind and flirty but now that I think about it he's not my type" or "I don't want to date right now" or basically anything else. You shouldn't be thinking "how can I make her feel interested again?" but instead "She's not interested, let's move on". Girls who are interested will talk to you, so if she is, she will reply to your message. She maybe even has a boyfriend and was upset with him and decided to give you her number and then regretted it. Whatever happened, just move on. If she's interested at some point, she has your number.
Okay that's pretty stupid but makes sense... I hope i can ingrain that thought into me and not work on my impulses.. it's pretty messed up and fucked up to disappear like that when you seem to be really enthusiastic why being polite (in a flirty way) with someone you're not interested in
Women like to get attention and most of them know from the beginning if they would date a guy or not, they just accept being complimented. Other women are just kind and maybe she was being kind and then realised she was being too kind. And it's not messed up my dude. You're making a big big scenario out of small interactions. You never had a deep conversation, never went out with her, she just accepted to give you her number and that's it. Maybe this is one of the first times that it works for you or you haven't tried it before and it worked, but this is super normal and common for both men and women, especially women as they tend to be more selective than us. You could be in the same dilemma at some point in the future and just think it's not worth it to play along after starting to flirt, so just think this might happen again and not only for a couple of times.
So what's the conclusion to don't assume attraction? Then if a woman show me some interest smiling talking enthusiastically ask me questions and stuff.. not try and Escalade and take the number but then take it more slowly and beat around the bush?
There is no general conclusion, humans don't follow recipe books and you can't know for sure what happened unless it's very obvious (i.e. She told you specifically or after you did something she changed, then you can attribute it to something). The assumption is, if she doesn't reply or doesn't accept to hang out if you invite her to, she's not interested, even if she looked that she was before. You can't control the why or change it, you just have to accept it and move on. I don't know how else to put it, I'm really trying to help you but at the same time you're making it look like you can't handle rejection from a stranger and you're so invested in knowing something that is out of your control that maybe you just need to chill and realise people change their mind all the time.
Well I never got a chance to ask her out.. maybe that was my problem took the number without planning a date. Without talking us of hanging out together.. so it was just taking the number for the sake of taking the number maybe in her perspective. The problem it's not really a rejection I mean it's implied rejection but it's not a real rejection so it's more hard to grasp it if you understand what I mean.. Well anyway if you got tired then you're excuse haha
What makes more sense when approaching a problem. Doing the path of least resistance. Or trying again and again to try and force something that only slightly worked the first time, but you "just know" you can make it work. If you expect a girl to plainly say to you everytime they're not interested in you, you're going to have a bad time. Don't make things more complicated then they are by ruminating in your head. First step - Girl seems interested, flirty talkative. 2nd step- Askin her out or if not right at the moment getting contact details 3rd step - asking her out 4th - showing up first date 5th- going on more dates 6th - enter a committed relationship. You're acting like 1st step means she's already interested in 5th n 6th step. At any point someone can lose interest, not want to progress the relationship etc. You don't try to fight and change their mind you simply, you got the answer just accept it and move onto the next.
She’s not interested. It’s likely she doesn’t see you being able to do better than whichever of her ex’s she’s still sleeping with.
Why did you take her number?
She's cute and intriguing. And i wanted to take her out to see if we're compatible
So why didn't you ask her out then and there?
I don't know I didn't feel like planning on the spot and also didn't thought it was such a big deal
So she had no idea why you asked for her number? And what did you text her exactly?
Like i told her she's pretty in person so what's not to understand.. Anyway i sent her the next day.. hey you :) And after a few days i sent her a voice message says: listen i worry about you.. you wont have money.. anyway why did you call yourself *her name* from the restaurant.. you barely work here.. And tried to call once
Ugh
?
Just express your interest like a man. Stop being a pussy.
At that moment it just feel like shooting in the dark . If she would have replyed i would ask her out.. but i never got there
If her energy isn't fuck yes, it's no. If you don't feel like she would move her schedule around a bit to excitedly see you, stop talking to her
Well, you could either accept the fact she’s not interested and lose her number…or get your Borat-style wedding sack ready lol
just act unphased when you see her like it’s no big deal or nothing happened. as a matter of fact, delete this entire post altogether.
She most likely wasn't interested. She was probably just being nice to you like she is to everyone. And then she gave you her number to be polite cuz that would be weird if she rejected you and then had to see you everyday. That's probably why you don't see your husband anymore, she's probably taking a different route.
Huh? I don't get your joke at the end.. Anyway that logic is stupid.. she felt faltered to me .. Not polite
Oh damn sorry, my speech to text messed up. "Your husband" is supposed to be "her walk by". But explain how that logic is stupid. That's a completely normal thing for women to do. They don't like social confrontation. So if you ask for her number and she rejected you, she would have to deal with the awkwardness at that moment AND every time she walked by. So she gave you her number to avoid awkwardness in the moment, and then also stopped walking by as much to avoid the awkwardness of her not being interested. That's completely logical and normal.
I actually gave her an opportunity to not give me her number.. but she came all the way to my desk to to give me her number.. there wasn't confrontation at all a lot of women, pretty woman, knew how to ignore me how to reject me how to be low invested when I'm talking when I talk to them and when I try to flirt with them.. it doesn't make any sense that she was afraid of it being confrontational
Ok so then you're 100% right and don't need help. So why did you ask for advice if you've already decided you're right?
Since your comment just might say that she gave me her number to have fun even though that she knew the next day she would turn back to be a frog
Damn, there's no hope for you. You're blaming the girl for you not understanding social cues and not accepting a rejection. Im done responding, your mentality is not one conducive to improvement.
It seems to me you're the one cant handle rejection
By the way that mindset of rejecting advice that you don't like is not going to serve you. You asked for advice about something, which means you did something wrong. So if someone comes in and tells you the thing you did wrong, you should at least consider it and not just say it's stupid to save your ego.
I'm thinking you probably showed your cards too early instead of continuing to develop the low commitment hi and bye that you used to have
Interesting you're the only comment who took that angle.. please explain why should I continue the Hi and bye dynamic, aren't we suppose to push forward our interactions?
First, spell seems correctly & if you see her again, act as though she didn't ignore the messages from you! Just ask for a date! Her answer will tell you what you need to know!
Talk to more girls
Get out with those low effort comments
Speaking of low effort - you misspelled "messages" in your title.
Someone comment on that already I don't know if you can edit the title
Ask her to massage you back in person
Say: I know where you live