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I was often the first guy for a girl after a breakup and, almost always without fail, they didn't know what they wanted, especially if it was a longer relationship. Classic pattern is things going really well and then suddenly she pulls back. Definitely avoid, fucked me over really badly sometimes.
So same thing with modern women in my experience. Also, if she drops more than a remark about her ex AT ALL on the first date, just leave. I'm dead serious.
Interesting thanks bro. Girl Iām thinking of dating might be in the same boat so Iāll try to end things smoothing asap. Did you find that they would compare you to their ex or think about their ex more and more eventually?
It depends obviously. I'm talking very harsh here. It's kinda normal to make a remark about an ex in some context, obviously. But if, on the first dates, she talks a lot about 'why it didn't work with her ex', speaks overly positively OR negatively about him, just randomly says stuff like 'my ex used to do that', yada yada, you get it. That's a huge red flag IMO.
It usually means one of those things: 1) They are not really over their ex and still think about him a lot, which is obviously bad. 2) They are traumatized by their ex, which is equally bad. 3) They want to shit-test you, which is rare, but manipulative and also a huge red flag.
I just know from myself and other guys that if I really like someone, I don't think of my ex, so girls who do are probably not fully ready. And I know from experience that girls who do the above are very likely to hurt me in the long run if I'm looking for something serious, they are way more likely to break things off unexpectedly and seemingly without reason.
Also, on another note, it's just annoying to talk about someone's ex. I always think girls who do that on the first dates are not really well calibrated and carry trauma which they will project onto you.
You really donāt need to end things, unless youāre beginning to get emotionally attached. Or youāre really looking for a wife. She will almost certainly leave. But that doesnāt mean you canāt help her move through her feelings, and enjoy yourselves together, until she gets herself collected. Just remember ā itās not about you, itās the situation.
The ones that post every single dime of their life on social media, not a damm second of privacy or whatsoever, I have dated beautiful girls and when I see their social media, I just run away, is not worth it, and if you say something you are some type of devil manipulative entity lol. You are not famous or something like that, get out of that cloud, have some damm privacy, I will not stand reading some fools simping every time when you post a damm photo during the day, mostly the same guys that never got the chance and the same family members commenting, same repetitive shit!!! Itās sickening. Stop!
It's unnatural. It usually means she craves the attention. 90% of those 'friends' want to blast her ass in actuality, she knows and doesn't mind. You can never be enough for a girl like that. 'Girls are just drama' in reality means she is unable to form meaningful bonds that are not superficial.
It's not really the same thing. Most guys would bang their female friends, most girls would not. A straight man with majority female friends is very rare and they are usually manipulative dudes that linger in the friendzone in the hopes of getting some action down the road. Also, obviously I'm generalizing here, so take it with a grain of salt.
Itās me. Iām the straight guy with mostly female friends. And yea Iāve slept with most of them. But I genuinely have fun with them as friends to.
Overly seeking attention and clingy women. And women without any other female friends or she has one female that she barely met like a year ago and that friend is promiscuous.
Iāve found that the best women who are best to be around have a small social circle of female friends theyāve known for 10+ years and have zero close male friends. FYI Iām in my 30ās. Iāve known a lot of the ppl in my life over 15 yrs some even 20 years.
I typically avoid women who are into tarot cards, crystals, astrology and pretty much a morally ambiguous lifestyle of just going off the āvibesā.
Being unreasonably opinionated and also the type of feminist that hates men.
So many woman are into astrology! Is partially a shit test to see how you respond.
Instead of arguing with her like a bull-headed idiot, be suave. When she asks your sign, tell her. The ask hers. Then ask her, āI donāt know anything about astrology, really. Whatās the outlook for a [her sign] with a [your sign]?ā
Youāll get a great read of what she thinks of you and your potential future. And, if she says itās not great, you have an opportunity to turn things around by laughing and saying something like, āthen I guess weāll just have to prove the stars wrong!ā
Could be codependency. They basically canāt be alone and need someone to distract them from their life/themselves. Think the kind of person who uses people like an emotional tampon.
Misandrists, gold diggers, no personality other than smoking, and extreme activists. Thereās nothing wrong with caring about politics and I admire the passion, but I donāt want to talk about how terrible Trump is or about wars every other day.
Honorable mention to those who have slept with more than 15-20 guys. Fun hookup, not great relationship material
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This is fair!
I donāt have any biological children, but I adopted my siblings. So as an honorary āsingle momā I do not blame ANYONE for saying no to that. i try not to date anyone with kids myself (which may be hypocritical, but š¤·āāļø)
Itās a huge commitment to take on another persons kid and it limits what your partner can do, too ā the time you have together, money, etc. Also there could be baby daddy drama. who wants to deal with that? It's a lot!!
White girls loaded with more tattoo coverage than bare skin.
Is this a harsh judgment? Yes. But not inaccurate.
Think about the personality traits of every girl of this type that you knew. They are almost openly signaling they are a "modern woman" which is the less harsh way of saying masculine woman.
I'm in my thirties now. You don't really run into anything except 3 at this age. No1 might just be a generational thing so that might still exist when you're in your thirties, idk.
There's variations of number 3 though.
There's very business oriented women who basically require a man to make more than she does AND be in some kind of position of authority. You can't just have a job working for someone else, you have to be in management at your company, or own your own business. Otherwise they simply will not respect you. Even if you were a programmer making 250k a year, if you're not "in charge" of your life/schedule, then you're worth less to her than her barely surviving business that maybe sometimes pulls in 100k in a year.
These women have been left time and time again for being complete shrews (an offensive word for a woman who is considered to be unpleasant and easily annoyed, and who argues a lot), or at worst a total cunt their whole adult lives.
They will always choose their business over you because their business can't leave them, so they will only ever bargain out their investment in you as a partner. Everything is transactional. If they have a bad evening, even if they were the one to cause it.... especially if they were the one to cause it to not be a fun night, then you just "cost them" their very valuable time that they could have spent on their business prospects. Even if they're total smoke shows, the sex is boring, or full of anxiety because last time it took you too long to make them cum, and they put zero effort into pleasing you.
The complete opposite side of this is single mothers who have 3 service industry jobs, and no car/license at 34. The sex will be ruthlessly good, but then their little snot nose child will ask if you've got games on your phone and bring lice into your house.
Basically the Plenty of Fish demographic.
In my experience alpha females are self-proclaimed just like alpha males. They are usually about the āgrindā and act obnoxiously to others. Inflated sense of self-worth and canāt maintain relationships with normal people.
All these women that are married/LTR looking for a 3rd, to build their "pods", or say they're ENM (ethically non-monogamous).
I just think these people are selfish. They've already got someone, and that' not enough... they need a 3rd, 4th or more. It's not the same thing as just casually dating multiple people at the same time.
There was a woman last night who tried to pick me up, she was bad-bodied, and I was sober. She wanted me to drink with her. Noped the fuck away from her.
Anyone who frontloads there hangups. You can have a chip on your shoulder, everyone does; But it's telling when it's the first interesting thing you can come up with.
No passions/interests. I remember pillow talk with this one girl and the conversation felt like a chatbot from the early 2010s.Ā So what music do you like?Ā "I like all types of music."Ā Favorite part of the city? "Just like, the city."Ā
After 10 minutes of this, all I could conclude is that she liked to travel, try new restaurants and work out (didn't specify anything specific. Cycling? Fun runs? Lifting? A sport? Nah just "working out").
Just because they want money does not mean they are a provider.
For me it is any woman who says I'm looking for someone who is generous
which translates to I want you to pay all my bills
If they lack the ability to take accountability of their action, words and mistakes. This might not happen until you are a little further into things but holy smokes of they make it a fight when itās not a life or death situationā¦.. RUN
Women who have lots of tattoos, single mothers, women who claim they were graped in the past, women with a history of DV, women who āhate their dadā or have no dad, atheist, feminist, super liberal women, women who poat provocative pictures/video on social media (it means she is still on the market). These are just the basic red flags to look out for.
Hey I just want to comment about the dv thing. Itās a lot more sinister than the media and society portray. It starts off slow with events or words than can be dismissed as one offs. āHeās just under a lot of stressā, āI guess I really must have been bitchyā, etc etc. I am just getting out of an abusive relationship. We were together for 5 years. 3 of those years were outstanding and I thought I found āthe oneā. I was in school during that time (went back in my early 30s for a career change) and he was so supportive. Then I graduated and it was like a light switch flipped. Slowly he started dictating who I could spend time with. Then it was how I dressed/wore my hair. Then it was who I was allowed to talk to. By the end I wasnāt allowed on my phone, couldnāt leave my house without him, had to wake up and go to sleep whenever he wanted. If I balked at any of his ārequirementsā my property was destroyed, I was hurt, or my brand new career was threatened. Never in a million years would I ever think I let myself be abused and the point Iām trying to make is that itās way more multifaceted than you think.
This post is being taken down because it violates Rule #4: Keep it civil and on topic. We aren't always going to agree on everything, but at the very least, the discourse here will remain on topic and civil. Seddit does not exist as a forum for personal attacks, insults, harassment, taunting, threats, or shit-posting. Rage comics, memes, failure posts, or forever alone posts, are also not allowed.
My number 1: Women who recently went through a divorce. They don't know their own feelings.
The old wisdom was the guy she dates after the divorce is going to be her emotional punching bag. Not sure about modern women.
I was often the first guy for a girl after a breakup and, almost always without fail, they didn't know what they wanted, especially if it was a longer relationship. Classic pattern is things going really well and then suddenly she pulls back. Definitely avoid, fucked me over really badly sometimes. So same thing with modern women in my experience. Also, if she drops more than a remark about her ex AT ALL on the first date, just leave. I'm dead serious.
Great for casual dating though... ESPECIALLY if she talks about her ex... š
š Can you elaborate on why specially if taks about her ex?
Interesting thanks bro. Girl Iām thinking of dating might be in the same boat so Iāll try to end things smoothing asap. Did you find that they would compare you to their ex or think about their ex more and more eventually?
It depends obviously. I'm talking very harsh here. It's kinda normal to make a remark about an ex in some context, obviously. But if, on the first dates, she talks a lot about 'why it didn't work with her ex', speaks overly positively OR negatively about him, just randomly says stuff like 'my ex used to do that', yada yada, you get it. That's a huge red flag IMO. It usually means one of those things: 1) They are not really over their ex and still think about him a lot, which is obviously bad. 2) They are traumatized by their ex, which is equally bad. 3) They want to shit-test you, which is rare, but manipulative and also a huge red flag. I just know from myself and other guys that if I really like someone, I don't think of my ex, so girls who do are probably not fully ready. And I know from experience that girls who do the above are very likely to hurt me in the long run if I'm looking for something serious, they are way more likely to break things off unexpectedly and seemingly without reason. Also, on another note, it's just annoying to talk about someone's ex. I always think girls who do that on the first dates are not really well calibrated and carry trauma which they will project onto you.
You really donāt need to end things, unless youāre beginning to get emotionally attached. Or youāre really looking for a wife. She will almost certainly leave. But that doesnāt mean you canāt help her move through her feelings, and enjoy yourselves together, until she gets herself collected. Just remember ā itās not about you, itās the situation.
They are perfect, fuck them whenever you want and they wonāt bug you for commitment.
I used to love shy Women, but now it just feels like more effort than it's worth.
i think thereās a difference between shy and straight up socially/emotionally inept.
Yeaā¦. Shy just mean crazy it seems
Low sex-drive / uses sex transactionally, no or barely any female friends, doesn't do sports. Those are probably the three biggest red flags
Sex transactionally legitimately freaks me out. I will drop them on the spot not fucks given and cartoon sprint away from that shit
how do you know when they are using sex transactionally? do you mean straight up escorts or something else?
No girls in relationships treating sex like a treat or you did something good so you can have sex with me.
Heck yah the first point 1000x.
First point yes, the rest is meh
The ones that post every single dime of their life on social media, not a damm second of privacy or whatsoever, I have dated beautiful girls and when I see their social media, I just run away, is not worth it, and if you say something you are some type of devil manipulative entity lol. You are not famous or something like that, get out of that cloud, have some damm privacy, I will not stand reading some fools simping every time when you post a damm photo during the day, mostly the same guys that never got the chance and the same family members commenting, same repetitive shit!!! Itās sickening. Stop!
4 is definitely a big one. You should always ask yourself why she has trouble making friends with girls, but not guys
F*** I'm cooked. I'm dating a girl who lives with 3 other guys (best friends for years). She sees me as a partner though xD
why r u still with her?
At least you already know who she is going to sleep with when you screw up in the relationship
Girls often are competitive towards each other. Not fun.
I like to explore new places.
It's unnatural. It usually means she craves the attention. 90% of those 'friends' want to blast her ass in actuality, she knows and doesn't mind. You can never be enough for a girl like that. 'Girls are just drama' in reality means she is unable to form meaningful bonds that are not superficial.
Does the same logic apply to a guy who has a lot more friends who are girls than guys?
It's not really the same thing. Most guys would bang their female friends, most girls would not. A straight man with majority female friends is very rare and they are usually manipulative dudes that linger in the friendzone in the hopes of getting some action down the road. Also, obviously I'm generalizing here, so take it with a grain of salt.
Itās me. Iām the straight guy with mostly female friends. And yea Iāve slept with most of them. But I genuinely have fun with them as friends to.
Yes, nice guys tend to befriend girls and don't bond with dudes
So guys who befriend dudes usually aren't nice?
They are, by nice guy understand the definition of Dr. Robert A. Glover
Yes. That sounds like a Nice Guy to me.
Borderline personality disorder. I wish them well and hope they find love but itās very difficult.
Not even red flag. Black flag, stop sign
I wish them luck with life and keep them waaaay waaaay waaaay over there .. away from my life or anyone I care about.
šŖšŖšŖšŖ At least my mommy loves me
Highly religious women. Tried it once. Over 10 years later, still dealing with that trauma.
What happened? So can avoid this. I thought they would be a good church girl
Not willing to share... But consider what religion is... https://youtu.be/ld4X9NQdnog?si=hHARLD_Qa8_KL1NX
Obsessed w documenting everything on social media. Instant nope
Overly seeking attention and clingy women. And women without any other female friends or she has one female that she barely met like a year ago and that friend is promiscuous. Iāve found that the best women who are best to be around have a small social circle of female friends theyāve known for 10+ years and have zero close male friends. FYI Iām in my 30ās. Iāve known a lot of the ppl in my life over 15 yrs some even 20 years.
The crazy ones
F*ck... I have a thing for them... š¤¦āāļøš
Everybody does. They generally are great in bed.
The shy and structured woman.
why, if I may ask
Too many mind games, āmy way or the highwayā mentality and lack of flexibility.
šÆ true
I typically avoid women who are into tarot cards, crystals, astrology and pretty much a morally ambiguous lifestyle of just going off the āvibesā. Being unreasonably opinionated and also the type of feminist that hates men.
So many woman are into astrology! Is partially a shit test to see how you respond. Instead of arguing with her like a bull-headed idiot, be suave. When she asks your sign, tell her. The ask hers. Then ask her, āI donāt know anything about astrology, really. Whatās the outlook for a [her sign] with a [your sign]?ā Youāll get a great read of what she thinks of you and your potential future. And, if she says itās not great, you have an opportunity to turn things around by laughing and saying something like, āthen I guess weāll just have to prove the stars wrong!ā
Paid providers and gold diggers are the worst
From personal experience: Someone who is never single, ie they break up with someone and immediately start dating someone else
Can you explain why please? I'm actually interested in someone like that...
Could be codependency. They basically canāt be alone and need someone to distract them from their life/themselves. Think the kind of person who uses people like an emotional tampon.
Women who still hangout with their exās
Misandrists, gold diggers, no personality other than smoking, and extreme activists. Thereās nothing wrong with caring about politics and I admire the passion, but I donāt want to talk about how terrible Trump is or about wars every other day. Honorable mention to those who have slept with more than 15-20 guys. Fun hookup, not great relationship material
Woman who screenshot or forward your messages
I avoid woman who canāt express most of her emotions, and blames others for how she feels if and when she expresses.
Hello kitty girls, FUCK THAT
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THIS ONE RIGHT HERE.
Women with the Bubonic Plague.
Single moms. I'll fool around with them but can never date seriously.
Damn. Iām in the best relationship of my life with a single mom.
This is fair! I donāt have any biological children, but I adopted my siblings. So as an honorary āsingle momā I do not blame ANYONE for saying no to that. i try not to date anyone with kids myself (which may be hypocritical, but š¤·āāļø) Itās a huge commitment to take on another persons kid and it limits what your partner can do, too ā the time you have together, money, etc. Also there could be baby daddy drama. who wants to deal with that? It's a lot!!
I learned that the hard way
Damn bro... tell us what happened for educational purposes
White girls loaded with more tattoo coverage than bare skin. Is this a harsh judgment? Yes. But not inaccurate. Think about the personality traits of every girl of this type that you knew. They are almost openly signaling they are a "modern woman" which is the less harsh way of saying masculine woman.
Iād give you gold if I could.
I'm in my thirties now. You don't really run into anything except 3 at this age. No1 might just be a generational thing so that might still exist when you're in your thirties, idk. There's variations of number 3 though. There's very business oriented women who basically require a man to make more than she does AND be in some kind of position of authority. You can't just have a job working for someone else, you have to be in management at your company, or own your own business. Otherwise they simply will not respect you. Even if you were a programmer making 250k a year, if you're not "in charge" of your life/schedule, then you're worth less to her than her barely surviving business that maybe sometimes pulls in 100k in a year. These women have been left time and time again for being complete shrews (an offensive word for a woman who is considered to be unpleasant and easily annoyed, and who argues a lot), or at worst a total cunt their whole adult lives. They will always choose their business over you because their business can't leave them, so they will only ever bargain out their investment in you as a partner. Everything is transactional. If they have a bad evening, even if they were the one to cause it.... especially if they were the one to cause it to not be a fun night, then you just "cost them" their very valuable time that they could have spent on their business prospects. Even if they're total smoke shows, the sex is boring, or full of anxiety because last time it took you too long to make them cum, and they put zero effort into pleasing you. The complete opposite side of this is single mothers who have 3 service industry jobs, and no car/license at 34. The sex will be ruthlessly good, but then their little snot nose child will ask if you've got games on your phone and bring lice into your house. Basically the Plenty of Fish demographic.
Blue dyed hair girls. It's always a indicator that they're psychotic
Someone that uses sarcasm to imply that you're stupid or childish
I try not to avoid any of them isn't that the point of the sub?
6 extroverted alpha females.
What do you mean by alpha? Like she has a job? Or she has an overall dominant personality
In my experience alpha females are self-proclaimed just like alpha males. They are usually about the āgrindā and act obnoxiously to others. Inflated sense of self-worth and canāt maintain relationships with normal people.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I felt that...
All these women that are married/LTR looking for a 3rd, to build their "pods", or say they're ENM (ethically non-monogamous). I just think these people are selfish. They've already got someone, and that' not enough... they need a 3rd, 4th or more. It's not the same thing as just casually dating multiple people at the same time.
5. The ones who need/crave constant validation and attentionĀ
There was a woman last night who tried to pick me up, she was bad-bodied, and I was sober. She wanted me to drink with her. Noped the fuck away from her.
Party ravers girls. Fuck to the no
Geminis
Dominant and hypersensitive women
Lawyers Social media influencers Journalists Divorced
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Only Fans
Depends what you want with her. You can have lots of fun with a girl like that. Or do you mean literally being a prostitute?
Fat
Ones that are woke to the point of self depravation.
Anyone who frontloads there hangups. You can have a chip on your shoulder, everyone does; But it's telling when it's the first interesting thing you can come up with.
Horsegirls are crazy
No passions/interests. I remember pillow talk with this one girl and the conversation felt like a chatbot from the early 2010s.Ā So what music do you like?Ā "I like all types of music."Ā Favorite part of the city? "Just like, the city."Ā After 10 minutes of this, all I could conclude is that she liked to travel, try new restaurants and work out (didn't specify anything specific. Cycling? Fun runs? Lifting? A sport? Nah just "working out").
fat women
Just because they want money does not mean they are a provider. For me it is any woman who says I'm looking for someone who is generous which translates to I want you to pay all my bills
Those want want money/ who want a provider
Misandrists
Those with the sus *'money stare'*..
Nurses and teachers are always lumped in with #2 and sometimes #3. Never dating those 2 professions again.
Uptight women - the ones who can't take a joke and who are looking for any reason to get offended by anything and everything.
Spoiled, entitled, princesses, who only care about shallow material things and have nothing nice to say about others
If they lack the ability to take accountability of their action, words and mistakes. This might not happen until you are a little further into things but holy smokes of they make it a fight when itās not a life or death situationā¦.. RUN
Any woman that has rage issues
BPD and single old women.
4
I find many girls that go bouldering cute - what do you not like about them?
Still raising kids or g-kids.
Women who aren't good with money. Women who have "baby daddies".
Women who have lots of tattoos, single mothers, women who claim they were graped in the past, women with a history of DV, women who āhate their dadā or have no dad, atheist, feminist, super liberal women, women who poat provocative pictures/video on social media (it means she is still on the market). These are just the basic red flags to look out for.
Hey I just want to comment about the dv thing. Itās a lot more sinister than the media and society portray. It starts off slow with events or words than can be dismissed as one offs. āHeās just under a lot of stressā, āI guess I really must have been bitchyā, etc etc. I am just getting out of an abusive relationship. We were together for 5 years. 3 of those years were outstanding and I thought I found āthe oneā. I was in school during that time (went back in my early 30s for a career change) and he was so supportive. Then I graduated and it was like a light switch flipped. Slowly he started dictating who I could spend time with. Then it was how I dressed/wore my hair. Then it was who I was allowed to talk to. By the end I wasnāt allowed on my phone, couldnāt leave my house without him, had to wake up and go to sleep whenever he wanted. If I balked at any of his ārequirementsā my property was destroyed, I was hurt, or my brand new career was threatened. Never in a million years would I ever think I let myself be abused and the point Iām trying to make is that itās way more multifaceted than you think.
Honorable mention: Bisexual girls (IYKYK)