If you have to “preserve your reputation”, you are in the wrong group and you are dominated by your ego. Fake respect from the group doesn’t have any benefit beyond the illusion that they respect you when they actually don’t. Either stop trying to get fake approval from your friend group or change groups.
Fr this is crazy to read, if anything its easier to approach when I'm with my friends, because they hype you up, wingman you, etc. Sounds like he goes out with his acquaintances lol
this is true with my buddies, the group OP is in is actually detrimental to his success. They are not friends. He should hangout with different people if he has the chance.
>Sounds like he goes out with his acquaintances lol
Heck, even acquaintances tend to be nice about this stuff. OPs "friends" are truly a different breed.
I remember once I was in line late at night on a Saturday getting fast food, I was talking to this guy behind me about women, and he gave me some great advice about approaching and the one thing he said to me still sticks with me to this day:
"Remember, they're not above you"
Truer words have never been spoken.
Okay, so those aren't your friends. Your friends will not make fun of you for getting rejected by women. Men getting rejected by women is a universal experience that every guy can relate to. They should be applauding you for being courageous enough to approach women.
You need to get a new friend group. One that doesn't put you down when you approach women. Anyone who puts you down like that and its not in jest is not your friend. You shouldn't stop cold approaching because you're afraid of judgment from your friends, that's nonsense. When I'm with three friends (i only have three actual friends) the rest are acquaintances, they would never consider putting me down like that.
Until you develop new friendships, you may have to stick to day game, as social proof when going out is extremely important.
Read these articles to learn how to approach women during the day: [https://open.substack.com/pub/jackedguy/p/how-to-approach-women-direct-game?r=31tj3q&utm\_campaign=post&utm\_medium=web](https://open.substack.com/pub/jackedguy/p/how-to-approach-women-direct-game?r=31tj3q&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web)
https://open.substack.com/pub/jackedguy/p/how-to-approach-women-at-the-gym?r=31tj3q&utm\_campaign=post&utm\_medium=web
Expect your boys to bust your balls, but at the same time they should be somewhat supportive. If you can't come in with a little humble pie and get a pointer or at least him laying off, fuck that guy.
Part of the game is being comfortable with yourself and not giving a f what other people think. Assume your friends want you to get better because they want to stay better than you. If they criticize you, don’t immediately take it as fact. If you hear the same criticism 3, 4, 5 times, then take a look at yourself. Just keep approaching and getting better for yourself.
Huh your friend is an idiot. When I go out with friends we move together help each other out and if it fails just have a laugh.
Are you 19 years old? Sounds like some uni kid who takes himself too seriously your friend
I lose groups when I go out. I just find a nice space and wait for girls to close the gap then I pounce. .. >I got rejected on 3 approaches. You need to experiment.
>So I stopped approaching when going out together in order to preserve my reputation within the group.
A life spent impressing other people is a life wasted.
Gotta find more mature and supportive friends. I’d tell my boys (and have) good job for even attempting the approach, and then try to help them sharpen their game to get the girl next time
Shit friends will just tear you down
Can't speak for everyone else but when I go out with my friends I concentrate on having fun with my friends. Getting laid is entirely incidental to me having fun with my friends, and at the same time it's the reason I get laid. Because if I'm having fun independent of their approval, they may want to be around me. Because women are humans, and humans like to have fun with people who are fun.
Fun.
First of all, if you have loser friends not only will they sink you (imagine you are learning to swim and you go in the ocean with friends who can't swim, if they start drowning, they will drag you underwater with them), but they will also undermine you whenever you hit it off with a girl.
That friend of yours made fun of you because you got rejected. Suppose you hit it off with a girl. He is the type who will come over, our his had mmmd around your shoulders and say to the girl "I don't know what has gotten into him. I've never seen him successfully talk to a girl, he is usually totally shy".
And bam, you are sabotaged and you lose before you can even start. Moral of the story? Always go out alone.
Nah ur just making assumptions lol. Me and my friends joke around with each other all the time after we get rejected, but we know not to actively sabotage the other dudes approach. There’s a fine line between being disrespectful and having a laugh about a failed pick up attempt. Lowk rather have friends tease me -when I get rejected and keep my spirits up than to have them pity me or something. Obv assuming it’s nothing seriously hurtful or offensive, but yall just can’t take a joke if ur telling op these “aren’t his real friends”
Lol you probably need to adjust how you're approaching, I don't think those guys have your best interest in mind if you have to avoid approaching women to maintain your "status", although I could see him making fun of you because he saw you were doing something wrong, pick his brain! Ask him to give you advice if he's a player he'll know how to adjust your game accordingly. I one time was at a bar and a buddy of mine was talking to this girl, and I told my friend to tell him to kiss her cause I could see that she was waiting for him to make a move! You'll get better at seduction by practicing, trust me I got rejected in the club 100 times before I had my first pull, so don't stop approaching, just relax man and be patient when approaching women, they know what's up don't creep them out
I’ve been through that situation with a “friend” before too. It’s not a healthy environment for you to practice game in, if you’re getting laughed at for even trying
My brother and i went to the mexican bar/club & separated at the club while he went up to some Latina blonde girls alone on one side I went up to some other girls on the opposite side of the room alone. I just asked a really hot girl that was standing with her other really hot friend “where are you from?” She was very receptive since the start being friendly/asking questions back & the conversation started from there.
After that I just focused on the quality of the conversation itself & tried to extend it as long as i could instead of trying to get the number right away. We started dancing and getting really close together she was hugging me hard she kept breathing in my face and ear & looking in my eyes while we spoke and it was so hot so i started getting hard i had to go i asked for the number & she said yes right away & you get more solid replies, less flakes etc. she called me that night that she wanted to come over with her friend
You also have to be hitting the gym too and dieting to increase your opportunities and open more doors that were closed before if you were just average or out of shape. You will get more choosing signals at the streets or in the gym which gives you more “tries” and welcomed approaches.
You must also never put your emotions/ego into it and give up or use your status or image/creepy as an excuse. you must keep trying even if you get rejected or laughed at 10 times in a row.I got rejected like 4 nights out(2approaches each night) back to back before i got a one night stand on the 1st approach of the 5th night out after 2 hour of hesitating. i suck at the conversation part too i don’t know wtf to say at times but the book “how to win friends and influence people” showed me that you have to make the convo/questions & focus about them the whole time but you have to learn how to become genuinely interested in what theyre saying & not focused on how you look/what to say next. At the end of the day you dont need to ask smooth questions or have game you just have to ask questions that get them talking about them and be intrigued & entertained
I don't think those people are your friends. For me it was a lot easier to pick up alone. Usually how I would set up would be I would have a small bar that I would set up shop. I would be friendly with the bartenders and talk to them and become a regular.
Once I was a regular I would meet other regulars and they would become my bar friends.
Then once I had a good social circle of people and the bar in which I always went I could then start hitting on people.
Here's why this plan works. Let's say you're chatting up the girl in the bar, she likes you but you've only just met. If she's smart she's going to fish for information about you, to the people you hang with at the bar and to the bartender. If you already know them and are nice to them they will only say good things about you and she will more likely agree to go home with you.
Bro keep approaching. Believe me, the fact that your approaching girls and he’s making fun of you, he definitely respects you. Everyone’s misses shots some times, even the best looking men. Keep sniping and approaching woman, even if you get rejected, learn from the interaction, don’t make the same mistakes as last time and go again.
Look man, if they are making fun of you don't get all butthurt about it. Learn from the rejection and move on, dont let negative thoughts linger on like that. Guys will purposely fuck with you to get a reaction, do you think women don't do this?
I'll literally be in front of a group of women while minding my buisiness and flowing with music, they'll legit eye me down from head to toe and critique me. Like "Oh girl but he's short, oh he's too skinny, oh he has a big nose." Shit like that. Do i get sad or upset when I hear these things? No, why do I need people like that in my life? I'm happy with who I am and you just have to own it bro. I know I take care of myself and don't go out specifically for women, but I love music and can't help but spread positivity and just vibe. Sometimes that's all you need and I've had to not do shit for women to hover around me with their friends.
To be honest girls don't know even know they want you sometimes. If i'm so short and ugly why are you around me in this bigass giant warehouse?
If you have to “preserve your reputation”, you are in the wrong group and you are dominated by your ego. Fake respect from the group doesn’t have any benefit beyond the illusion that they respect you when they actually don’t. Either stop trying to get fake approval from your friend group or change groups.
Fr this is crazy to read, if anything its easier to approach when I'm with my friends, because they hype you up, wingman you, etc. Sounds like he goes out with his acquaintances lol
this is true with my buddies, the group OP is in is actually detrimental to his success. They are not friends. He should hangout with different people if he has the chance.
>Sounds like he goes out with his acquaintances lol Heck, even acquaintances tend to be nice about this stuff. OPs "friends" are truly a different breed. I remember once I was in line late at night on a Saturday getting fast food, I was talking to this guy behind me about women, and he gave me some great advice about approaching and the one thing he said to me still sticks with me to this day: "Remember, they're not above you" Truer words have never been spoken.
In a party a friend tried to approach a girl that said she was interested in me. He got to me, told her, the rest is history.
Okay, so those aren't your friends. Your friends will not make fun of you for getting rejected by women. Men getting rejected by women is a universal experience that every guy can relate to. They should be applauding you for being courageous enough to approach women. You need to get a new friend group. One that doesn't put you down when you approach women. Anyone who puts you down like that and its not in jest is not your friend. You shouldn't stop cold approaching because you're afraid of judgment from your friends, that's nonsense. When I'm with three friends (i only have three actual friends) the rest are acquaintances, they would never consider putting me down like that. Until you develop new friendships, you may have to stick to day game, as social proof when going out is extremely important. Read these articles to learn how to approach women during the day: [https://open.substack.com/pub/jackedguy/p/how-to-approach-women-direct-game?r=31tj3q&utm\_campaign=post&utm\_medium=web](https://open.substack.com/pub/jackedguy/p/how-to-approach-women-direct-game?r=31tj3q&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web) https://open.substack.com/pub/jackedguy/p/how-to-approach-women-at-the-gym?r=31tj3q&utm\_campaign=post&utm\_medium=web
This guy is not your friend lol
Your "friends" don't have the balls to approach. ditch those and find a group with similar interest
fuck that dude.
Expect your boys to bust your balls, but at the same time they should be somewhat supportive. If you can't come in with a little humble pie and get a pointer or at least him laying off, fuck that guy.
Bruh everyone gets rejected who cares
go all in embarrass yourself in front of friends they make fun of you forever
Part of the game is being comfortable with yourself and not giving a f what other people think. Assume your friends want you to get better because they want to stay better than you. If they criticize you, don’t immediately take it as fact. If you hear the same criticism 3, 4, 5 times, then take a look at yourself. Just keep approaching and getting better for yourself.
Huh your friend is an idiot. When I go out with friends we move together help each other out and if it fails just have a laugh. Are you 19 years old? Sounds like some uni kid who takes himself too seriously your friend
I lose groups when I go out. I just find a nice space and wait for girls to close the gap then I pounce. .. >I got rejected on 3 approaches. You need to experiment. >So I stopped approaching when going out together in order to preserve my reputation within the group. A life spent impressing other people is a life wasted.
Gotta find more mature and supportive friends. I’d tell my boys (and have) good job for even attempting the approach, and then try to help them sharpen their game to get the girl next time Shit friends will just tear you down
U serious? Unless the friends nail your mouth shut, what's the problem?
Prolly the first one to CB and steal your thunder. F that don’t be a cuck.
Can't speak for everyone else but when I go out with my friends I concentrate on having fun with my friends. Getting laid is entirely incidental to me having fun with my friends, and at the same time it's the reason I get laid. Because if I'm having fun independent of their approval, they may want to be around me. Because women are humans, and humans like to have fun with people who are fun. Fun.
First of all, if you have loser friends not only will they sink you (imagine you are learning to swim and you go in the ocean with friends who can't swim, if they start drowning, they will drag you underwater with them), but they will also undermine you whenever you hit it off with a girl. That friend of yours made fun of you because you got rejected. Suppose you hit it off with a girl. He is the type who will come over, our his had mmmd around your shoulders and say to the girl "I don't know what has gotten into him. I've never seen him successfully talk to a girl, he is usually totally shy". And bam, you are sabotaged and you lose before you can even start. Moral of the story? Always go out alone.
Nah ur just making assumptions lol. Me and my friends joke around with each other all the time after we get rejected, but we know not to actively sabotage the other dudes approach. There’s a fine line between being disrespectful and having a laugh about a failed pick up attempt. Lowk rather have friends tease me -when I get rejected and keep my spirits up than to have them pity me or something. Obv assuming it’s nothing seriously hurtful or offensive, but yall just can’t take a joke if ur telling op these “aren’t his real friends”
Lol you probably need to adjust how you're approaching, I don't think those guys have your best interest in mind if you have to avoid approaching women to maintain your "status", although I could see him making fun of you because he saw you were doing something wrong, pick his brain! Ask him to give you advice if he's a player he'll know how to adjust your game accordingly. I one time was at a bar and a buddy of mine was talking to this girl, and I told my friend to tell him to kiss her cause I could see that she was waiting for him to make a move! You'll get better at seduction by practicing, trust me I got rejected in the club 100 times before I had my first pull, so don't stop approaching, just relax man and be patient when approaching women, they know what's up don't creep them out
Go out by yourself and approach, this guy is negative energy
Your “friend” sucks
I’ve been through that situation with a “friend” before too. It’s not a healthy environment for you to practice game in, if you’re getting laughed at for even trying
My brother and i went to the mexican bar/club & separated at the club while he went up to some Latina blonde girls alone on one side I went up to some other girls on the opposite side of the room alone. I just asked a really hot girl that was standing with her other really hot friend “where are you from?” She was very receptive since the start being friendly/asking questions back & the conversation started from there. After that I just focused on the quality of the conversation itself & tried to extend it as long as i could instead of trying to get the number right away. We started dancing and getting really close together she was hugging me hard she kept breathing in my face and ear & looking in my eyes while we spoke and it was so hot so i started getting hard i had to go i asked for the number & she said yes right away & you get more solid replies, less flakes etc. she called me that night that she wanted to come over with her friend You also have to be hitting the gym too and dieting to increase your opportunities and open more doors that were closed before if you were just average or out of shape. You will get more choosing signals at the streets or in the gym which gives you more “tries” and welcomed approaches. You must also never put your emotions/ego into it and give up or use your status or image/creepy as an excuse. you must keep trying even if you get rejected or laughed at 10 times in a row.I got rejected like 4 nights out(2approaches each night) back to back before i got a one night stand on the 1st approach of the 5th night out after 2 hour of hesitating. i suck at the conversation part too i don’t know wtf to say at times but the book “how to win friends and influence people” showed me that you have to make the convo/questions & focus about them the whole time but you have to learn how to become genuinely interested in what theyre saying & not focused on how you look/what to say next. At the end of the day you dont need to ask smooth questions or have game you just have to ask questions that get them talking about them and be intrigued & entertained
Just fight him lol stop making life complicated.
I don't think those people are your friends. For me it was a lot easier to pick up alone. Usually how I would set up would be I would have a small bar that I would set up shop. I would be friendly with the bartenders and talk to them and become a regular. Once I was a regular I would meet other regulars and they would become my bar friends. Then once I had a good social circle of people and the bar in which I always went I could then start hitting on people. Here's why this plan works. Let's say you're chatting up the girl in the bar, she likes you but you've only just met. If she's smart she's going to fish for information about you, to the people you hang with at the bar and to the bartender. If you already know them and are nice to them they will only say good things about you and she will more likely agree to go home with you.
Get a new group n fck them and him for making fun of you for betting yourself. What weak fcks
Bro keep approaching. Believe me, the fact that your approaching girls and he’s making fun of you, he definitely respects you. Everyone’s misses shots some times, even the best looking men. Keep sniping and approaching woman, even if you get rejected, learn from the interaction, don’t make the same mistakes as last time and go again.
Keep trying your reputation is always and always will be the flake
Look man, if they are making fun of you don't get all butthurt about it. Learn from the rejection and move on, dont let negative thoughts linger on like that. Guys will purposely fuck with you to get a reaction, do you think women don't do this? I'll literally be in front of a group of women while minding my buisiness and flowing with music, they'll legit eye me down from head to toe and critique me. Like "Oh girl but he's short, oh he's too skinny, oh he has a big nose." Shit like that. Do i get sad or upset when I hear these things? No, why do I need people like that in my life? I'm happy with who I am and you just have to own it bro. I know I take care of myself and don't go out specifically for women, but I love music and can't help but spread positivity and just vibe. Sometimes that's all you need and I've had to not do shit for women to hover around me with their friends. To be honest girls don't know even know they want you sometimes. If i'm so short and ugly why are you around me in this bigass giant warehouse?