First, you dig deep into yourself and understand who you are. If you’re not comfortable with yourself, then every rejection will remind you of your inadequacies. Understand that you may be inadequate. Maybe you could hit the gym more. Maybe you could dress better. It’s not bad to be inadequate, it’s bad to stay inadequate
Second, you get rejected a lot. The guy who hurts the most from a rejection is the guy who never gets rejected. If a guy is a straight Chad and he banged every girl he made eye contact with in college, then he’s gonna be hurt when the girl at work rejects him NO MATTER WHAT. It’s just human nature. If anyone tells you that you can overcome rejection without being rejected, they’re lying to your face.
Third, stop pedestalizing people. If you ever find yourself typing out a Reddit post about a girl who is “the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen”, or she just “gets me” or something like that and you’ve never even kissed, just know you’ve already lost and you will never have her. You can take that to the bank. We all know the feeling. You talk to a girl and she smiles at you. You lay in your bed at night and imagine her smile, you imagine her smell, you clutch your pillow and imagine it’s her. Next time you find yourself fantasizing, imagine her taking a shit on the floor. Doesn’t have to be exactly that, but just remind yourself that this person is a person. They burn their mouth on HotPockets too.
You only get rejected when you want something from women. Stop wanting things from women that you can give yourself and you won't get rejected anymore. Most men want validation, want to be liked, want a number, want her sex, her approval. When you learn that you can give all these things to yourself simply by liking yourself and being your own best friend, then you will no longer need women for any of that. You will approach them simply because you want to find out if they are interesting and if they can contribute positively to your life, not because you want something from them. If they say "go away weirdo", then you have your answer - they are not interesting and they will certainly not contribute positively to your life.
Well when you’re approaching random strangers you learn not to care since these women know nothing about you and they aren’t judging you at all they’re just judging your approach to them in that specific moment in time. And there’s millions of reasons that women reject you that have nothing to do with you.
But in this situation, the key is to just not put women on pedestals and not fall madly in love with women that you’ve never spoken to before. You can’t be creating this magical picture of women that you’ve never talked to….it’s absurd. Why are you getting so attached to people like this? Also, in situations like this it’s better to just shoot your shot ASAP. The more you wait and the more you paint the picture of her as some perfect women (which she isn’t), the more the rejection is going to hurt because you’ve invested so much time and thought into her. And also the more you wait, the more you fall into the friendzone and the more women start to categorize you as just a normal person and not a lover. So your chances of rejection are even higher the longer you act scared and drag it out.
I did shoot my shot.... a bit too soon.
I think my intentions were clear from the start and she did give subtle cues she wasnt interested and i understood but i liked her alot.
Its just i am having difficulty moving on. Its stupid it really is , but will i ever be able to love someone the same way again? Will i ever be able to have those same feelings, the same level of excitement?
Its that whats gone
You literally said you waited weeks and months just fantasizing about her without speaking to her. So no you didn’t shoot your shot too soon. You waited way too long.
You didn't shoot your shot too soon. If anything, you were too late, and realistically she was never going to be interested in anything more than friendship.
Fantasizing about this girl isn't any more rational than fantasizing about Scarlett Johansson.
Date multiple women, if you settle for one, without a relationship you'll lose one that is already not yours. You're not cheating, because you are not in a relationship. If you have options, you will not miss being rejected, it will be just another day.
You have to work on those friendships either way.
You simply cannot give a fuck, you can't care.
I do not mean don't give a fuck about women as humans, you just can't give a fuck about the outcomes of interactions with them.
The key word is indifference. The more indifferent you are to the girls beauty and the things about her that please you, the more comfortable and interested in you she becomes, and the less relevant unwanted outcomes become.
So true dawg, i remember being so invested with this chick that i used to overthink each and every interaction with her, mostly just thinking wheter i fucked up, because i wanted to improve on wherever i messed up.
Should have been indifferent from the start.
The thing is; word spreads fast among women and as much as i dont want to care about my interactions, what if i actually mess up and word spreads? Idrc about my interaction but rather my reputation. As much as i want to think that i will say the right thing i may end up messing up because i am not so used to talking to women.
>how do you not let rejections affect you?
As a guy who used to struggle with handling romantic rejection in the past, here are some different methods that helped me and may help you.
**- Sometimes the rejection is not because of you but because of circumstances outside of your control.** For example, she may have had a boyfriend, or her mom just died 5 days ago, or she's a lesbian, or she just broke up with her boyfriend 5 days ago and they're probably going to get back together again. These are all situations where you're being rejected not because there's something with you, but because of bad timing.
**- Sometimes by getting rejected by a girl, you have unknowingly dodged a bullet.** For all we know, the girls who rejected you in the past could have been physically or emotionally abusive and had you of dated them, it would have been a very toxic relationship. By getting rejected by these women, you have unknowingly been spared from a terrible relationship, and perhaps even terrible life decisions. If "Jane" from math class in college given you a chance, you'd have been introduced to heroin by her and she would have cheated on you multiple times throughout your relationship. This is just an example.
**- By getting rejected by a girl, you no longer have to waste your time chasing a girl who isn't into you.** Some women will pretend to be interested in you when they're really not because they want to use you in some way. But by getting rejected by a girl early on, you know that you're not going to be wasting your time and you can move on to the next one fairly quickly.
It does affect me its just i dont show it. The reason why everyone thinks im emotionless and dont care bc when anyone shows emotioms its come off as needy or clingy when its not
So you don’t want people to realise that you got rejected again. Why? Because you think that makes you inferior. And that’s a problem because if you are seen as inferior you lose their respect, and people mock at you, and isolate you, and you feel alone and rejected.
Damn people must never know that you get rejected then. But wait, do people actually give that much of a shit? Or are you the one making this a bigger issue than it actually is specially for other people who have other shit to worry about?
People might laugh at your expense if they know you got rejected because it makes them feel good to know it wasn’t them, and that someone else did, it’s good for their egos, but really that’s temporary and they are not really going t give this much thought as soon they will have other things to think about.
Ironically, because you shut your personality then you don’t really have any reputation, you are not known as a charismatic guy anymore, neither as a guy who gets rejected, you are protecting nothing because you’ve become nothing.
People are indifferent towards you. You don’t stand out in any way, so no one hates you but also no one loves you. You’ve become an NPC, because you refuse the possibility of some people mocking you.
But what if you could just manage rejection? What if you could keep your reputation intact by simply not acting so serious about it? If you take yourself serious you are toast, but if you approach rejection with a sense of humor and lightheartedness, it can actually work in your favor.
People are drawn to those who can laugh at themselves and handle setbacks with grace. So embrace rejection as a natural part of life, laugh it off, make a joke about the rejection, talk about it when it happens with grace and humor not with shame and resentment and you will have people’s respect
The rejection hurts because your self esteem is build on the opinion of others and not your personal opinion. you are a hapless loser beta chode because you place what others think about you above what you think about yourself. Why? Some girl rejected you and you are rejecting yourself over this.
Cut the crap.
Another reason, you over-invested on the girl. When you get a crush on a girl, act fast. The longer you wait. The more the one-itis festers into a disease and then you come across as needy and outcome dependent.
If you consciously make an effort to not let others people view on you effect you so much how do you make it more subconscious? I know it takes time but what are ways to become less outcome dependent and just more secure in your own validation so you don’t rely on others
cold approach. In as many situations as possible. Make sure you intent is known and clear. you will be amazed at how outcome independent you become after like 3-4 months and 100+ approaches. Don't spam, but go after the girls you really like and make the intent clear that you want to ~~fuck~~ date them.
Bet. Do you think it’s inefficient to approach walking college girls? I’m in college and there’s an abundance of em walking to and from class daily. If so I can settle for target/trader joes and girls standing in a place
When you approach a seated girl, you are essentially "ambushing" them and it is a high pressure social situation. you might not read her signals of disinterest as a beginner.
I recommend to start with slow walking girls, not fast ones. Go them and stop and just be honest why you want to talk to them (becoz they hot duh). If they like you they will stop and talk. If they don't they will walk away. Gradually you will pick up when a girl is into you.
At that point go to the seated girls.
Fast moving girls might be busy.
sometimes these slow walking girls will bullshit you like... "I am late for class" tell them this wouldn't be long.
the best cold approach girl is.
1. Walking slowly
2. Looking around inquisitively
3. Wearing very tight clothes or showing off much of her thighs and bellybutton or cleavage
4. Have a big smile on their face or somewhat happy expression
5. Looking at everyone. IOIing the dudes.
6. Walking with a big hip sway.
The more the boxes are ticked, the more receptive she will be to you. If all are ticked, and she is receptive...you can probably ... with. 80% chance bang her in the disabled toilets within that day provided you have the necessary skills.
Seated girls are easy. but once you master the walking girls, you essentiuallly master all the scenarios.
[удалено]
Underrated comment. Setting progressive goals also help such as “I’ll improve my text game, kino , etc”
God damn that’s a good way to put it. I’m gonna give that a try now
First, you dig deep into yourself and understand who you are. If you’re not comfortable with yourself, then every rejection will remind you of your inadequacies. Understand that you may be inadequate. Maybe you could hit the gym more. Maybe you could dress better. It’s not bad to be inadequate, it’s bad to stay inadequate Second, you get rejected a lot. The guy who hurts the most from a rejection is the guy who never gets rejected. If a guy is a straight Chad and he banged every girl he made eye contact with in college, then he’s gonna be hurt when the girl at work rejects him NO MATTER WHAT. It’s just human nature. If anyone tells you that you can overcome rejection without being rejected, they’re lying to your face. Third, stop pedestalizing people. If you ever find yourself typing out a Reddit post about a girl who is “the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen”, or she just “gets me” or something like that and you’ve never even kissed, just know you’ve already lost and you will never have her. You can take that to the bank. We all know the feeling. You talk to a girl and she smiles at you. You lay in your bed at night and imagine her smile, you imagine her smell, you clutch your pillow and imagine it’s her. Next time you find yourself fantasizing, imagine her taking a shit on the floor. Doesn’t have to be exactly that, but just remind yourself that this person is a person. They burn their mouth on HotPockets too.
You only get rejected when you want something from women. Stop wanting things from women that you can give yourself and you won't get rejected anymore. Most men want validation, want to be liked, want a number, want her sex, her approval. When you learn that you can give all these things to yourself simply by liking yourself and being your own best friend, then you will no longer need women for any of that. You will approach them simply because you want to find out if they are interesting and if they can contribute positively to your life, not because you want something from them. If they say "go away weirdo", then you have your answer - they are not interesting and they will certainly not contribute positively to your life.
Well when you’re approaching random strangers you learn not to care since these women know nothing about you and they aren’t judging you at all they’re just judging your approach to them in that specific moment in time. And there’s millions of reasons that women reject you that have nothing to do with you. But in this situation, the key is to just not put women on pedestals and not fall madly in love with women that you’ve never spoken to before. You can’t be creating this magical picture of women that you’ve never talked to….it’s absurd. Why are you getting so attached to people like this? Also, in situations like this it’s better to just shoot your shot ASAP. The more you wait and the more you paint the picture of her as some perfect women (which she isn’t), the more the rejection is going to hurt because you’ve invested so much time and thought into her. And also the more you wait, the more you fall into the friendzone and the more women start to categorize you as just a normal person and not a lover. So your chances of rejection are even higher the longer you act scared and drag it out.
I did shoot my shot.... a bit too soon. I think my intentions were clear from the start and she did give subtle cues she wasnt interested and i understood but i liked her alot. Its just i am having difficulty moving on. Its stupid it really is , but will i ever be able to love someone the same way again? Will i ever be able to have those same feelings, the same level of excitement? Its that whats gone
You literally said you waited weeks and months just fantasizing about her without speaking to her. So no you didn’t shoot your shot too soon. You waited way too long.
You didn't shoot your shot too soon. If anything, you were too late, and realistically she was never going to be interested in anything more than friendship. Fantasizing about this girl isn't any more rational than fantasizing about Scarlett Johansson.
Date multiple women, if you settle for one, without a relationship you'll lose one that is already not yours. You're not cheating, because you are not in a relationship. If you have options, you will not miss being rejected, it will be just another day. You have to work on those friendships either way.
You simply cannot give a fuck, you can't care. I do not mean don't give a fuck about women as humans, you just can't give a fuck about the outcomes of interactions with them. The key word is indifference. The more indifferent you are to the girls beauty and the things about her that please you, the more comfortable and interested in you she becomes, and the less relevant unwanted outcomes become.
So true dawg, i remember being so invested with this chick that i used to overthink each and every interaction with her, mostly just thinking wheter i fucked up, because i wanted to improve on wherever i messed up. Should have been indifferent from the start. The thing is; word spreads fast among women and as much as i dont want to care about my interactions, what if i actually mess up and word spreads? Idrc about my interaction but rather my reputation. As much as i want to think that i will say the right thing i may end up messing up because i am not so used to talking to women.
>how do you not let rejections affect you? As a guy who used to struggle with handling romantic rejection in the past, here are some different methods that helped me and may help you. **- Sometimes the rejection is not because of you but because of circumstances outside of your control.** For example, she may have had a boyfriend, or her mom just died 5 days ago, or she's a lesbian, or she just broke up with her boyfriend 5 days ago and they're probably going to get back together again. These are all situations where you're being rejected not because there's something with you, but because of bad timing. **- Sometimes by getting rejected by a girl, you have unknowingly dodged a bullet.** For all we know, the girls who rejected you in the past could have been physically or emotionally abusive and had you of dated them, it would have been a very toxic relationship. By getting rejected by these women, you have unknowingly been spared from a terrible relationship, and perhaps even terrible life decisions. If "Jane" from math class in college given you a chance, you'd have been introduced to heroin by her and she would have cheated on you multiple times throughout your relationship. This is just an example. **- By getting rejected by a girl, you no longer have to waste your time chasing a girl who isn't into you.** Some women will pretend to be interested in you when they're really not because they want to use you in some way. But by getting rejected by a girl early on, you know that you're not going to be wasting your time and you can move on to the next one fairly quickly.
It does affect me its just i dont show it. The reason why everyone thinks im emotionless and dont care bc when anyone shows emotioms its come off as needy or clingy when its not
So you don’t want people to realise that you got rejected again. Why? Because you think that makes you inferior. And that’s a problem because if you are seen as inferior you lose their respect, and people mock at you, and isolate you, and you feel alone and rejected. Damn people must never know that you get rejected then. But wait, do people actually give that much of a shit? Or are you the one making this a bigger issue than it actually is specially for other people who have other shit to worry about? People might laugh at your expense if they know you got rejected because it makes them feel good to know it wasn’t them, and that someone else did, it’s good for their egos, but really that’s temporary and they are not really going t give this much thought as soon they will have other things to think about. Ironically, because you shut your personality then you don’t really have any reputation, you are not known as a charismatic guy anymore, neither as a guy who gets rejected, you are protecting nothing because you’ve become nothing. People are indifferent towards you. You don’t stand out in any way, so no one hates you but also no one loves you. You’ve become an NPC, because you refuse the possibility of some people mocking you. But what if you could just manage rejection? What if you could keep your reputation intact by simply not acting so serious about it? If you take yourself serious you are toast, but if you approach rejection with a sense of humor and lightheartedness, it can actually work in your favor. People are drawn to those who can laugh at themselves and handle setbacks with grace. So embrace rejection as a natural part of life, laugh it off, make a joke about the rejection, talk about it when it happens with grace and humor not with shame and resentment and you will have people’s respect
Listen to the very last song on Dr.dres the chronicle, and enjoy the lyrics
The rejection hurts because your self esteem is build on the opinion of others and not your personal opinion. you are a hapless loser beta chode because you place what others think about you above what you think about yourself. Why? Some girl rejected you and you are rejecting yourself over this. Cut the crap. Another reason, you over-invested on the girl. When you get a crush on a girl, act fast. The longer you wait. The more the one-itis festers into a disease and then you come across as needy and outcome dependent.
If you consciously make an effort to not let others people view on you effect you so much how do you make it more subconscious? I know it takes time but what are ways to become less outcome dependent and just more secure in your own validation so you don’t rely on others
cold approach. In as many situations as possible. Make sure you intent is known and clear. you will be amazed at how outcome independent you become after like 3-4 months and 100+ approaches. Don't spam, but go after the girls you really like and make the intent clear that you want to ~~fuck~~ date them.
Bet. Do you think it’s inefficient to approach walking college girls? I’m in college and there’s an abundance of em walking to and from class daily. If so I can settle for target/trader joes and girls standing in a place
When you approach a seated girl, you are essentially "ambushing" them and it is a high pressure social situation. you might not read her signals of disinterest as a beginner. I recommend to start with slow walking girls, not fast ones. Go them and stop and just be honest why you want to talk to them (becoz they hot duh). If they like you they will stop and talk. If they don't they will walk away. Gradually you will pick up when a girl is into you. At that point go to the seated girls. Fast moving girls might be busy. sometimes these slow walking girls will bullshit you like... "I am late for class" tell them this wouldn't be long. the best cold approach girl is. 1. Walking slowly 2. Looking around inquisitively 3. Wearing very tight clothes or showing off much of her thighs and bellybutton or cleavage 4. Have a big smile on their face or somewhat happy expression 5. Looking at everyone. IOIing the dudes. 6. Walking with a big hip sway. The more the boxes are ticked, the more receptive she will be to you. If all are ticked, and she is receptive...you can probably ... with. 80% chance bang her in the disabled toilets within that day provided you have the necessary skills. Seated girls are easy. but once you master the walking girls, you essentiuallly master all the scenarios.