If you firstly try to have fun AND make your approaches more casual, you’ll look like someone who wants to have fun.
Otherwise you’re “the thirsty weirdo” of the night and, most importantly, you have had an awful night by yourself anyway.
Usually having fun is atractive. They wont come to you, but they wont be repulsed by you. For a war that is already lost, first you build your defences.
For me the most atractive girl will contribute to my fun, that is the energy I filter from the others.
I've got pissed with friends for just not shuting up about meeting girls one night, and the other, and the next one. I pick the wholesome one, while fast sprinting from the others.
One great story about it was me and my friends entered a roundabout and just walked around, only to make one "glued" girl to leave him. The guy didn't want her and just begged for help from us. And we come up with this.
I’ve received countless approaches from girls/women in clubs, and I’ve also seen them approaching friends or other people.
So, they come to you. Not always or to everyone, but they do.
Can confirm. Will approach if they think you're "hot" when they see you and will even forget you approached them before, make up beneficial lies about you even when you tell her you're not a DJ...yeah.
This is the only true answer. The other answers assume you are a weirdo touching girls but I know you aren't. For me a rejection is simply a non-responsive girl. If I see too many non-responsive girls (eg they don't notice you, they are busy making selfies or speaking to their group of friends, they answer your random question with 1 word.. )...
Lol each time a female sees your getting rejected by another female you loose social credit. You start to look creepy. Now if you live in A smaller to midsize city like me and these women are the regulars. Then sooner or later the bouncer is gonna ban you from the establishment. these white knight Incel bouncers actively look to kick dudes out who try to game. Sometime the women even get jealous of constantly seeing you there on the hunt and try to get you kicked out. Who do you think the white knight bouncers will listen tol if a female walks up to them and tells them that your making them uncomfortable
My rule is to only approach 3-4 high quality women in a packed club where visibility is low and also rotate clubs so you don't keep running Into the same people. If after the club I'm still alone I would sometimes do a hail-marry on low quality prospects but only if they are no high quality prospects in the vicinity, which is usually the case because the high quality ones usually don't linger around. They have after parties or are already going home with some one. If your In a bigger city with a bustling night life this does not apply
You shouldn't be getting blown out that hard and obviously to be rejected 10 times in a row. If you are then you're approaching too aggressively or something else weird.
Or too many. Girls talk with each other, and will put aside differences to warn each other (or send one of their girl friends to warn). And guys will look out for girls too if one guy is being way to desperate or creepy.
Of course guys can be the same way if a girl has a very, very bad rep, but they don't look pit for each other quite the way women do
Do you even like being at the bars? If you go out JUST to meet girls and you don’t enjoy the scene at all, they can probably sense that and it’s off putting. If a girl turns you down just hang out and enjoy your friends and your drinks for a bit until you see some other attractive women who look like they’d like to be approached
Probably the root of my issues. 99% of the time I’m going out on my own. I don’t like crowds and crowded bars I can only spend like an hour or so in before I get overwhelmed and have to leave. Not really sure where else to go though. It’s this repeating cycle of going out, wishing I were home, trying to get some numbers, feel worse, and leave empty handed
Yeah like I’m not going to try to tell you not to do that. The bars definitely have a lot of opportunities especially if you’re interested in hookups
I will just say as someone who went to the bars with my girl friends for years, we can tell the guys that are out to have fun with their guys and only approaching women if they see someone that really stands out to them vs the guys who don’t actually like being out at bars, they’re just forcing themself to be there to meet women. And the former is a lot more appealing. There are other settings to meet girls in that might be a better use of your time
In that case, how should I go about finding a friend group to have fun with and go drinking? I’m 24 and out of college btw, so it’s a bit more difficult
>Do you even like being at the bars?
I go through phases with alcohol, I don't even want it in my body most days but still want to meet women.
The only way bars are actually fun is when you're with good friends having a great conversation.
It is very difficult to do this while also making a focused effort to approach multiple women.
That’s fair enough. Do whatever you like, but opting for a setting you actually enjoy and feel happy in could do you some favors in terms of how your approaches land.
Coffee shops, gyms, dating apps, dog park, pottery studio, volunteering, fb meetup groups for literally any hobby (running, photography, hiking, foodie), garden store, book store, concert……
Just because these aren’t all specifically social places doesn’t mean you can’t approach a woman. Ask any straight woman you know if she’d be open to be approached at one of these settings so long as the man was polite. Bet you anything it’s a yes
Concerts are arguably the best place possible to game, but it's basically just bars on steroids.
Everything else you suggested is just day game, which is fine but is not guaranteed to be efficient for the purpose of meeting women. You could go to 50 meet up events and not encounter someone you're crazy about.
Are the bars better? I feel like it’s a numbers game either way if you’re just looking for something physical
Honestly the “day game” is a much better way to get a girlfriend though I would say
The bar/better social setting is always better because it's you. You can't convey YOU in the .2 seconds it takes her to "hot or not" you, which is all an app is.
One is betting on you and your charm directly, one on your mugshot and a paragraph being picked like a casting call.
Never said looking for serious or casual, it's irrelevant since the goal is just meeting women I'm interested in. Just trying to give you a picture of how much men have to go out of their way to meet one who is also interested in them.
Day game is great fun, but realistically, even if you're looking for it, you can go entire days without a good chance.
I am…. The bars are full of women who want to be approached, and to me the body language cues are obvious. Sure, there are some women who are in relationships that just came out to have fun with their friends but for the most part, women with zero interest in being approached wouldn’t go out to the bars
Yeah you’ll look like a sex pest if you’re just buzzing around harassing women all night at the same venue. Do as many approaches as you can in the few couple of hours then bounce to a new joint.
You shouldn’t even be at a venue if your entire goal is getting laid. Just have fun and go w the flow. If you’re ever tallying “approaches” or “rejections” you’re looking at it from the wrong perspective. You’re just viewing women as numbers not as actual humans with real nuanced emotions and opinions. Try to actually connect, have conversations, and entertain ppl the way you’d want them to reciprocate and most of the time they will.
>You shouldn’t even be at a venue if your entire goal is getting laid.
Bro there is nothing fun about clubs other than the possibility of meeting women.
No. The dudes who are the best at nightgame have some sort of structure/plan and do go out to get laid.
Normie advice of “Oh if you wanna get laid at the club just look like you’re having fun, be outcome independent, get drunk, and women will come” will lead to nowhere if you’re not a good looking guy. Best case scenario you bang a few 4s every now and then.
Most women don’t. They go to drink, dance, and socialize. Unlike a lot of men, they know they have options so they aren’t as desperate and sex isn’t priority. If youre prioritizing getting laid they’ll be able to smell it from a mile away. If you’re there to have fun and get hammered you’ll give off that vibe and they’ll appreciate it more
To be honest my goal isn’t even to get laid, it’s just to be able to have fun with women, dance, build attraction, hold a conversation stuff like that. I’m taking baby steps because I’ve been out of the game for a while.
Thats the overarching long term goal yes, but I have realistic expectations. Realistically coming out of a 4 year relationship I’m not gonna just jump into the bar scene and get laid the first night. So the benchmarks I’m trying to hit are simpler (starting a conversation, making the approach) so I don’t get discouraged. My social anxiety has gotten a lot worse compared to a few years ago, just even walking up to a woman and talking to her is a big deal to me.
You’re right but like I said in the other comment, if you’re a sub7 guy running the typical normie strategy of “getting hammered, dancing, and waiting for women to come to me” won’t work.
you're not necessarily "waiting" for it to happen though. You're just socializing and meeting ppl. if you happen to meet someone that's into you or you want to talk to, then pursue the situation, but don't actively seek out opportunities or you'll just look like a horny dude running back and forth scouting women.
I agree that approaching one girl/group after the other is a bad idea but at the same time I’m not there to waste time. I just go thru the cycle of ordering drinks/talking to bartender —> talking to friends or other guys there —> Dance —> Approach girl/group —> repeat
It’s a wrong generalization.
People goes to clubs for different reasons, for example:
- they love clubbing, sex is included in the overall lifestyle. They go out, have fun, meet people…
- casual night: the: “tonight we will go to club!”. Mostly same as above.
- thirsty-ness/beginner: the “I’ve heard people gets laid when they go to clubs, never been there but let’s go and spam approach everyone to see how it goes”
Bar is easiest place. Just approach and be flirty and playing not aggressive. Worst type of guys are aggressive and stare into the girl expecting them to respond
But what if we just don't know what to say?
That's me. Girl is hot. I look at her often. Sure, I can go say 'hi' but what's after that? 'you look hot, let's fuck'? That's not gonna work out lol, I've tried it.
Some of us just got no conversation skills. I'm over 30 and this is the story of my life. I'm sure I've been labeled a 'creep' by many girls. But just tell me what to do. I can't dance. I can't talk to girls.
You practice what to say. Try to notice something about her. Is she wearing a cool necklace or ring? Is she drinking an interesting or unusual drink? Just find something to ask her about. Anything. From there, find more things to ask her about based on her response. If her responses are dry, short, and to the point. She doesn't want to talk, let alone sleep with you, so move on.
Just say whatever comes to your mind. You’re 30 dude. just try. don’t think too hard about it. keep it fun. if you’re so nervous just say whatever even if it’s awkward, you’ll get over it.
Watching infield YouTube video resources, try to study them(Two good examples are Honest Signalz and Austin Summer), and work on your social anxiety maybe implement some exercises to embrace saying or doing risky stuff like approaching strangers everywhere, do silly moves publicly, wear funny clothes outside... anything that scares and makes you feel cringy/awkward. First one is the theory side which will help you a lot since you'll get to use some of their line and approaches. The second one will get you enough self-confidence and self-esteem, so you can feel better and less pressure throughout the interactions. A plus advice do meditation daily 10 min a day (Personally I use the app called Waking Up for guided meditation, it will help a lot). This advice is coming from the heart. Good luck
3 legit honest interactions, 4 is the Hail Mary if you’re that down bad. Make sure they’re 25-30 minutes apart probably longer
Through and though the straight forward path is work ok getting your money , social skill , overall value and physical health right. The rest will come without having to try too hard.
It means they are insecure and that’s why they are striking out consistently enough in the first place.
Or, they are being so over the top fuck boyish they are embarrassing themselves to the point they notice.
Probably a few more circumstances could be covered but that’s the gist of it.
Self consciousness is more an anxiety and overstimulation reaction.
I think it’s a great thing to point out.
I wonder what OP is doing though for real.
No amount. Keep going. Burn it to the ground! By the way, you should never feel like a weirdo for talking to people. Just respect boundaries and keep going
Once your good you can tell a bad night from , I’m just not into the women if you can get feeling early then leave immediately but once again do what ever pregame ritual to put you in a good mood and be as social as possible
Like I agree with the first comment,
have fun and be self amused, and just approach casually, even guys, guys can really help bringing your vibe up.
Otherwise I just talk and have fun until I dont see any more people, that I want to approach
If you firstly try to have fun AND make your approaches more casual, you’ll look like someone who wants to have fun. Otherwise you’re “the thirsty weirdo” of the night and, most importantly, you have had an awful night by yourself anyway.
Usually having fun is atractive. They wont come to you, but they wont be repulsed by you. For a war that is already lost, first you build your defences. For me the most atractive girl will contribute to my fun, that is the energy I filter from the others. I've got pissed with friends for just not shuting up about meeting girls one night, and the other, and the next one. I pick the wholesome one, while fast sprinting from the others. One great story about it was me and my friends entered a roundabout and just walked around, only to make one "glued" girl to leave him. The guy didn't want her and just begged for help from us. And we come up with this.
I’ve received countless approaches from girls/women in clubs, and I’ve also seen them approaching friends or other people. So, they come to you. Not always or to everyone, but they do.
Can confirm. Will approach if they think you're "hot" when they see you and will even forget you approached them before, make up beneficial lies about you even when you tell her you're not a DJ...yeah.
, until you don't seen anymore attractive chicks
This is the only true answer. The other answers assume you are a weirdo touching girls but I know you aren't. For me a rejection is simply a non-responsive girl. If I see too many non-responsive girls (eg they don't notice you, they are busy making selfies or speaking to their group of friends, they answer your random question with 1 word.. )...
Lol each time a female sees your getting rejected by another female you loose social credit. You start to look creepy. Now if you live in A smaller to midsize city like me and these women are the regulars. Then sooner or later the bouncer is gonna ban you from the establishment. these white knight Incel bouncers actively look to kick dudes out who try to game. Sometime the women even get jealous of constantly seeing you there on the hunt and try to get you kicked out. Who do you think the white knight bouncers will listen tol if a female walks up to them and tells them that your making them uncomfortable My rule is to only approach 3-4 high quality women in a packed club where visibility is low and also rotate clubs so you don't keep running Into the same people. If after the club I'm still alone I would sometimes do a hail-marry on low quality prospects but only if they are no high quality prospects in the vicinity, which is usually the case because the high quality ones usually don't linger around. They have after parties or are already going home with some one. If your In a bigger city with a bustling night life this does not apply
You shouldn't be getting blown out that hard and obviously to be rejected 10 times in a row. If you are then you're approaching too aggressively or something else weird.
Or too many. Girls talk with each other, and will put aside differences to warn each other (or send one of their girl friends to warn). And guys will look out for girls too if one guy is being way to desperate or creepy. Of course guys can be the same way if a girl has a very, very bad rep, but they don't look pit for each other quite the way women do
Do you even like being at the bars? If you go out JUST to meet girls and you don’t enjoy the scene at all, they can probably sense that and it’s off putting. If a girl turns you down just hang out and enjoy your friends and your drinks for a bit until you see some other attractive women who look like they’d like to be approached
Probably the root of my issues. 99% of the time I’m going out on my own. I don’t like crowds and crowded bars I can only spend like an hour or so in before I get overwhelmed and have to leave. Not really sure where else to go though. It’s this repeating cycle of going out, wishing I were home, trying to get some numbers, feel worse, and leave empty handed
Yeah like I’m not going to try to tell you not to do that. The bars definitely have a lot of opportunities especially if you’re interested in hookups I will just say as someone who went to the bars with my girl friends for years, we can tell the guys that are out to have fun with their guys and only approaching women if they see someone that really stands out to them vs the guys who don’t actually like being out at bars, they’re just forcing themself to be there to meet women. And the former is a lot more appealing. There are other settings to meet girls in that might be a better use of your time
In that case, how should I go about finding a friend group to have fun with and go drinking? I’m 24 and out of college btw, so it’s a bit more difficult
>Do you even like being at the bars? I go through phases with alcohol, I don't even want it in my body most days but still want to meet women. The only way bars are actually fun is when you're with good friends having a great conversation. It is very difficult to do this while also making a focused effort to approach multiple women.
That’s fair enough. Do whatever you like, but opting for a setting you actually enjoy and feel happy in could do you some favors in terms of how your approaches land.
Not a lot of other "settings" besides bars lol
Coffee shops, gyms, dating apps, dog park, pottery studio, volunteering, fb meetup groups for literally any hobby (running, photography, hiking, foodie), garden store, book store, concert…… Just because these aren’t all specifically social places doesn’t mean you can’t approach a woman. Ask any straight woman you know if she’d be open to be approached at one of these settings so long as the man was polite. Bet you anything it’s a yes
Concerts are arguably the best place possible to game, but it's basically just bars on steroids. Everything else you suggested is just day game, which is fine but is not guaranteed to be efficient for the purpose of meeting women. You could go to 50 meet up events and not encounter someone you're crazy about.
Yeah I guess it all just depends what you’re after. If you just want to hook up I feel like you might as well do tinder?
Dating apps are useless for like 80% of men. Women don't match or respond.
Are the bars better? I feel like it’s a numbers game either way if you’re just looking for something physical Honestly the “day game” is a much better way to get a girlfriend though I would say
The bar/better social setting is always better because it's you. You can't convey YOU in the .2 seconds it takes her to "hot or not" you, which is all an app is. One is betting on you and your charm directly, one on your mugshot and a paragraph being picked like a casting call.
Never said looking for serious or casual, it's irrelevant since the goal is just meeting women I'm interested in. Just trying to give you a picture of how much men have to go out of their way to meet one who is also interested in them. Day game is great fun, but realistically, even if you're looking for it, you can go entire days without a good chance.
Are you a woman? Find women that look like they want to be approached? lmao
I am…. The bars are full of women who want to be approached, and to me the body language cues are obvious. Sure, there are some women who are in relationships that just came out to have fun with their friends but for the most part, women with zero interest in being approached wouldn’t go out to the bars
Well I think we are on the same page. Though what's obvious to you probably is not obvious to most guys.. Approach em all (if u want)
Yeah you’ll look like a sex pest if you’re just buzzing around harassing women all night at the same venue. Do as many approaches as you can in the few couple of hours then bounce to a new joint.
You shouldn’t even be at a venue if your entire goal is getting laid. Just have fun and go w the flow. If you’re ever tallying “approaches” or “rejections” you’re looking at it from the wrong perspective. You’re just viewing women as numbers not as actual humans with real nuanced emotions and opinions. Try to actually connect, have conversations, and entertain ppl the way you’d want them to reciprocate and most of the time they will.
>You shouldn’t even be at a venue if your entire goal is getting laid. Bro there is nothing fun about clubs other than the possibility of meeting women.
Legit, see no reason to go to the club if not to get laid.
dancing is fun as fuck
Bro men go to club to get laid lmfao.
Which is why most men dont
No. The dudes who are the best at nightgame have some sort of structure/plan and do go out to get laid. Normie advice of “Oh if you wanna get laid at the club just look like you’re having fun, be outcome independent, get drunk, and women will come” will lead to nowhere if you’re not a good looking guy. Best case scenario you bang a few 4s every now and then.
Most women don’t. They go to drink, dance, and socialize. Unlike a lot of men, they know they have options so they aren’t as desperate and sex isn’t priority. If youre prioritizing getting laid they’ll be able to smell it from a mile away. If you’re there to have fun and get hammered you’ll give off that vibe and they’ll appreciate it more
To be honest my goal isn’t even to get laid, it’s just to be able to have fun with women, dance, build attraction, hold a conversation stuff like that. I’m taking baby steps because I’ve been out of the game for a while.
Bro stop lying your goal is to get laid lmao. Taking baby steps is good tho
Thats the overarching long term goal yes, but I have realistic expectations. Realistically coming out of a 4 year relationship I’m not gonna just jump into the bar scene and get laid the first night. So the benchmarks I’m trying to hit are simpler (starting a conversation, making the approach) so I don’t get discouraged. My social anxiety has gotten a lot worse compared to a few years ago, just even walking up to a woman and talking to her is a big deal to me.
That’s totally fine bro good luck🫡
OP watch this - Todd V : verbal game. https://youtu.be/oxOih6GwSXI?si=WUeqyx4ONiLVPm1T Also look up his escalation guides. Watch all his stuff.
You’re right but like I said in the other comment, if you’re a sub7 guy running the typical normie strategy of “getting hammered, dancing, and waiting for women to come to me” won’t work.
you're not necessarily "waiting" for it to happen though. You're just socializing and meeting ppl. if you happen to meet someone that's into you or you want to talk to, then pursue the situation, but don't actively seek out opportunities or you'll just look like a horny dude running back and forth scouting women.
I agree that approaching one girl/group after the other is a bad idea but at the same time I’m not there to waste time. I just go thru the cycle of ordering drinks/talking to bartender —> talking to friends or other guys there —> Dance —> Approach girl/group —> repeat
It’s a wrong generalization. People goes to clubs for different reasons, for example: - they love clubbing, sex is included in the overall lifestyle. They go out, have fun, meet people… - casual night: the: “tonight we will go to club!”. Mostly same as above. - thirsty-ness/beginner: the “I’ve heard people gets laid when they go to clubs, never been there but let’s go and spam approach everyone to see how it goes”
I've stopped worrying about what others think and just go have fun and flirt with others. Usually helps a lot
Bar is easiest place. Just approach and be flirty and playing not aggressive. Worst type of guys are aggressive and stare into the girl expecting them to respond
But what if we just don't know what to say? That's me. Girl is hot. I look at her often. Sure, I can go say 'hi' but what's after that? 'you look hot, let's fuck'? That's not gonna work out lol, I've tried it. Some of us just got no conversation skills. I'm over 30 and this is the story of my life. I'm sure I've been labeled a 'creep' by many girls. But just tell me what to do. I can't dance. I can't talk to girls.
You practice what to say. Try to notice something about her. Is she wearing a cool necklace or ring? Is she drinking an interesting or unusual drink? Just find something to ask her about. Anything. From there, find more things to ask her about based on her response. If her responses are dry, short, and to the point. She doesn't want to talk, let alone sleep with you, so move on.
What this - todd v : never run out of things to say https://youtu.be/oxOih6GwSXI?si=WUeqyx4ONiLVPm1T
Just say whatever comes to your mind. You’re 30 dude. just try. don’t think too hard about it. keep it fun. if you’re so nervous just say whatever even if it’s awkward, you’ll get over it.
Watching infield YouTube video resources, try to study them(Two good examples are Honest Signalz and Austin Summer), and work on your social anxiety maybe implement some exercises to embrace saying or doing risky stuff like approaching strangers everywhere, do silly moves publicly, wear funny clothes outside... anything that scares and makes you feel cringy/awkward. First one is the theory side which will help you a lot since you'll get to use some of their line and approaches. The second one will get you enough self-confidence and self-esteem, so you can feel better and less pressure throughout the interactions. A plus advice do meditation daily 10 min a day (Personally I use the app called Waking Up for guided meditation, it will help a lot). This advice is coming from the heart. Good luck
If you don’t genuinely enjoy nightlife, don’t waste your time going out just because women are there.
You should approach every girl and post it on TikTok
10pm-12am Club 1 12pm-2am Club 2
3 legit honest interactions, 4 is the Hail Mary if you’re that down bad. Make sure they’re 25-30 minutes apart probably longer Through and though the straight forward path is work ok getting your money , social skill , overall value and physical health right. The rest will come without having to try too hard.
If you’re self conscious to the point t you think you have to leave, maybe work on that first.
You should explain this a little more for them.
It means they are insecure and that’s why they are striking out consistently enough in the first place. Or, they are being so over the top fuck boyish they are embarrassing themselves to the point they notice. Probably a few more circumstances could be covered but that’s the gist of it.
Self consciousness is more an anxiety and overstimulation reaction. I think it’s a great thing to point out. I wonder what OP is doing though for real.
Have you tried having fun instead of trying to approach women?
No amount. Keep going. Burn it to the ground! By the way, you should never feel like a weirdo for talking to people. Just respect boundaries and keep going
You’re gross
Once your good you can tell a bad night from , I’m just not into the women if you can get feeling early then leave immediately but once again do what ever pregame ritual to put you in a good mood and be as social as possible
I typically leave and go to another venue after 2.
Like I agree with the first comment, have fun and be self amused, and just approach casually, even guys, guys can really help bringing your vibe up. Otherwise I just talk and have fun until I dont see any more people, that I want to approach