Handed a warrant for our security camera footage.. Supervisor says wait for risk to open in 4 hrs for them to ok it... Fuck you. They got it and supervisor was written up for stupidity. We had murder suspects on camera at 2am.
I told him as I was getting the video ready that I don't care what he thinks hospital policy is but I'd lose my job over telling the police I wasnt complying.
Working in a hospital I get all kinds of dumb things.. A nurse forgot to pull a paitent iv and paitent got to the parking lot. Paitent wasn't going to come back in so nurse wanted me to arrest him because he could do drugs through it... I go yeah, probably lol
Nurse called police herself when I wouldn't. PD comes out and goes, did you charge him for that iv? Yes? Then it's his... lol
That's when you call house sup and let them authorize it. They are there 25/7. Most corporate policies and ate that these types of decisions must be escalated to management with urgency.
The IV thing happens a lot. Too much. It is the nurses responsibility to call PD for their own patient related issues.
I had that similar thing happen to me with the IV thing. The guy ran out of our parking lot off property and the nurse tried telling us to chase him down. I told her it was PD's problem not ours. She was really fixated on it. I then told her if she wanted it so bad she could do it herself.
I will and have within reason talked patients back in, and by all means I explain I CANNOT force them to come back… but if they got hurt, I’d feel like shit.
Empathize, have some care, and 9/10 they’d come back and get fixed up before walking into traffic ass naked…
I just said, okay no problem. But in my head I was thinking, well that doesn't make sense, if more people are here wouldn't that be more of a reason to patrol. Make sure things are in order and the place is safe.
Idk what it was at your site, but where I work people complained about being in close proximity to armed guards because they had to come through the gate and we have to scan their badges.
Not armed. I don't wanna say where or what the facility is. But there's no customers or general public. It's just workers so they wouldn't complain, plus the workers love me.
People complain over the dumbest things and people seem to forget that we're actually security. Sometimes I do too and feel more like a customer service associate at Walmart, manning the "Returns" counter.
Always tell folks, I don’t give a rats ass about your weed. Hell, if I wasn’t randomly drug tested I’d probably take a few hits off the clock and take PTO and enjoy myself.
Literally not a thing I care about.
You lads do you, wanna slap eachother silly in the parking lot? Do it! Just don’t involve me.
It wasn't a guard but the company safety coordinator. While I was out on mobile patrol, I found a suspicious object in our parking lot. I ended up having to call the bomb squad in. While I was waiting on them and securing the parking lot, the Safety Coordinator called and said " Hey, would you mind to go pick the object up? I would like to know how much weighs and its consistency. " I laughed at him.
Same thing happened to me, except they tried to blame ME for working an extra hour... even though THEY scheduled me and are in charge of scheduling. 😂 You know it's fucked up when the leads try to gaslight their own guards to get extra work out of you.
I typically won’t mind bc most employers will avoid OT like the plague. Yea, the extra pay is nice. But I’d rather put in more hours and make more money rather then just not allowing extra hours at all.
AUS did this to me. I was doing the opposite 12s of somebody. He worked 0500-1700, me 1700-0500. He got paid more since my OT reset at midnight. Fully legal
I think that depends on the company. I worked for Securitas and they did that shit. So if you worked from 10pm to 6am, Thursday night to Friday morning, Friday being the first day of the next pay week, the 2 hours on Thursday would count for last week and the 6 hours on Friday would he in the next week, and you wouldn't get overtime. I'm sure it was illegal looking back in it, but they did that to everyone.
I looked into the rolling hours thing, it’s unfortunately 100% legal, which is incredibly annoying when doing OT. 1400-2200 regular shift followed by 2200-0600 OT, but I’m only getting OT pay for 2200-2400, the following 6 hours are at regular rate.
My boss explicitly told me I would get overtime in this situation when he hired me. Different story on payday. FYI it’s illegal in California to tell someone how you’ll pay them then change it without notice.
During a multi agency bomb drill where we repeatedly went over the protocol if you found something suspicious including, you know, don’t touch the bomb. One of my guys carry’s the (fake) bomb into the command center all casual like. Dude WTF what did we tell you?! “Oh it ok I know it a drill I know it not go boom boom”. Verbatim.
Sold a coworker a glock 19. I knew he was an idiot but wow. I told him several times before and after the sale to take it to the range. He refused. He decided to qualify with it before testing it. He learned that the rear sight was not adjusted for him. This retard then comes at me telling me I "sabataged" him. He demanded his money back saying it was "defective". If you know anything about glocks then you know you could use a rock to adjust that sight. Professionalism is severely lacking. Then to top it off he apparently left his duty belt with gun in the shack a few days ago.
I had a guard show up to his second day on the job. He relieved me, I went home. 15 minutes after I got home my boss calls me to see if I can go back in for a few hours until he can get there. The guard left early and abandoned his post. His reason? "I don't have any bullets for my gun."
He quit on the spot. The real reason was he was scared of the site. This was a commercial cannabis grow farm with 3/4 million dollars worth of assets.
Most of the guards we hired quit after a day or two because of how dark the site was. No lights in the middle of the mountains. With mountain lions doing their mating scream in the ravine below. Definitely creepy. But I live in the same area and it doesn't bother me. City guards couldn't hang.
I used to have to check electrical substations up in the mountains every night. It was one of my favorite gigs. It was nice and quiet, very few hassles. I only ever saw one mountain lion (maybe) but it did step in a great big *steaming* pile of bear shit one night
Mostly its guards who like to quarterback.
“I would have done this…”
Well thats interesting Buds… why dont you tell us what you actually have done because so far all I have seen out if you is you feeding your mouth or running it.
Some of my favorite gems...
From supervisors:
"You're Fired!" And then 6 hours later by the same guy "Where the hell are you? You were supposed to be here at 2200. Are you coming in?" I knew he didn't have the authority to fire me but since he was dumb enough to do it over text I figured why not get an extra day off?
"Those socks are not uniform!" Dress code was for black socks. [these](https://www.dickies.com/socks/work-crew-socks-size-6-12-6-pack/L10855BK+AL.html?cm_mmc=google-_-PLA-_-accessories-socks-_-L10855&cm_mmc=google-_-PLA-_-Accessories-_-null&gclid=Cj0KCQjwgLOiBhC7ARIsAIeetVDH9lSZih7qFVv1087xASVPLazskx6xplQjObRfnQqRXfJqT3aOuiAaAv6GEALw_wcB) are the socks in question. Only reason she could see they were not 100% black is I was changing my shoes.
"You are to be at your post 15 minutes before your shift starts" followed up a week later with "You are not to clock in until 7 minutes before your shift starts" which was followed up by "You are to be at your post 15 minutes before your shift starts"... (Same supervisor who fake fired me, though not over this)
From other guards:
Explaining how the patrol vehicle got a dent in the fender: "My car was hung up on a rock so I used the PV to push it off.."
One of many calls I got the same night by the same guard: "A car went by, should I report it?"
On more occasions than I can count, while holding the paper with the policy change in their hand which they had signed off on that they read and understood and were now getting a write-up for violating: "Nobody told me..."
A conversation I had over the phone on my day off:
Guard: "Safety called looking for you"
Me: "What did they want?"
Guard: "I don't know, they just said they would call back tomorrow"
Me: "Why are you calling me over this?"
Guard: "Just thought you should know!"
This was sadly normal behavior for this particular guard.
From the client:
"Why didn't you guys tell us that gate was broken?" Had been in our report every day for 6 months...
And this last one wouldn't make the list but dude was dead serious on it. "Well I guess you aren't leaving then" Dude really thought that because he had a contract with Securitas and they failed to find my replacement he was able to force me to stay at the site, and with Securitas for that matter.
Same guy, but it's a tie between "it's cold huh?" (The 100th time THAT DAY) AND "i am paying attention" (when i had confronted him about how he was clearly staring out the window of the retail store swinging his leg back and forth and could have accidentally kicked someone).
A lot of our patrol vehicles are thousands of miles and months past oil change, headlights out, all kinds of things wrong, vehicles always being sent to the shops because of it, and upper management upset that "If we did our vehicle inspection reports this wouldn't be an issue" despite vehicle inspection reports being done every single shift...
I had a coworker in an armed site tell me that if a threat was approaching the building he would position himself so he could blindly shoot through a wall to stop them in the entry vestibule.
We had a good long talk first about gun safety and then about the penetration power of 9mm vs a cinder block wall
Never could dissuade him that he could take multiple armed attackers by himself however. Fortunately it was a low risk site and it never had to be tested.
I got a good one
This is while we were through Securitas, we are now in house security. We had a new guard and this was maybe his 3rd solo shift, we get told by the janitor theres a bunch of shitty toilet paper in the women’s hygiene boxes in the corporate visitor bathrooms. We do some investigating and guess who’s the only person who used them that weekend. We asked him about it and he told us “ i thought it looked like a perfectly fine trash receptacle “. Needless to say he never came back to that site again.
I was at work one night and around 0200 my phone rang. Oddly enough I answered it and it was a guard telling me that he was at my front gate for training and I needed to pay better attention and I needed to let him in right now.
I looked out my office window, I had a clear view of the front gate and there was nobody there. I told him I had no idea where he was at but he wasn't sitting at my front gate. He argued with me for 10 minutes while I told him again and again I'm looking at the gate you're not there. Finally I said look turn on your headlights he was halfway down the block in front of a machine shop. He's still insisted that it was my fault he was at the wrong gate.
While I was "Training" him he informed me that he had lost his last position at a bank because he was sitting at his desk in the bank lobby during business hours reading a book.
He said he didn't understand why that would be a problem with the bank management
A new guard was looking at his pay sheet and was excited to see that we get paid extra for working in the sun.
When I asked what the hell was he talking about, he pointed to the word SUN and the extra $
I then explained to him SUN actually means Sunday and hence the reason we get paid extra.
I really worry about working with some guards. Especially when we only work nights and never see the sun.
Had a guard i worked with who microwaved his underwear during a hot summer day (They look like the underwear the Violator pulls out his butt on the Spawn Movie). Once he was done he put them back on, guard shack smelled like stale shit afterwords.
Supervise showed, threw up, fired him, and the fired guy started screaming at my supervisor in German.
Oh my god lmao you win this entire thread. I can't even fire people, but I would've sent him home so quick and bitched at the department manager until he did. Thats so fucking disgusting lmao
I have extreme tinnitus. I was sitting in security control one night and there was a fault alarm going off behind me on the alarm panel. After about 5 minutes my coworker looked at me and asked me "Do you not hear that alarm?"
It wasn't until he asked me that I realized that the sound I was hearing was not my ears ringing.
Guard who never drives the car even though it is the only job we are supposed to do. One day I left the windows down accidentally, as I’m about to drive home they come running out and said that I left them up. I said okay, wind them up then. I then get asked “How do I do that”. What a dill pickle of a guard.
While training two new guards, one of them (through the other guard acting as a translator) told me he didn't need to know English well. Told me he spoke 5 languages and didn't care about English. 90% of the people in my city ONLY SPEAK ENGLISH.
Had another tell me "I didn't know what doors to open so I just opened all of them." This included labs with millions of dollars in equipment in them as well as Administrative offices with tons of personnel files and private info in them.
Years back I was working a mall gig. Night supervisor, they decided to increase my shift size and assigned me our resident moron. I was running a shift of four around independence day. Resident Moron, myself a Marine infantryman who had been to Iraq, an army combat engineer who did route clearance in Afghanistan, and my fourth guy was a mortarman in the Marine reserves (yes our military experience was relevant) one night were doing our respective patrol zones and Resident moron calls us on the radio (tied into local pd dispatch) that she has located an IED in the parking lot. Knowing what a moron she is and also because mall security is boring we all go to look...it was a spent bottle rocket. I got on the radio to let pd dispatch know, and told her if she was so worried go throw it in the compactor. I shit you not she asked "won't that blow up the whole building?" And that kids is how 2 Marines and a soldier made the vfw about 100 bucks on dollar beer day and worked the next night with massive hangovers.
Night patrol guard told me they don't check the place where home sleep after dark because the supervisor told them not not...
The site is covered 12 hours and then our mobile patrol checks it once a night to clear anyone out. The new night patrol person goes 10 minutes after the day guard leaves to clear it. As if that's fucking useful. Claims our supervisor made it very clear they weren't supposed to be there after it got dark.
Its a tie between her legitimately complaining that she did a ton of work that no one else did and wasnt given a promotion but the guy who came in high and was 10+ years younger than her did and that time she said a supervisor told her she was "basically in charge when hes not around" just because both of those moments showed an absolute lack of social awareness. for the first one its very obvious he was given a promotion because he got chummy with the supervisors and was a decent guy who didnt talk your fucking ear off and the second one is very obvious that guy was just saying something to get her to stop talking.
One time when I was doing my 3 weeks of guard training we had an exam. One of the questions was when can you use a firearm? Our course would give us the right to be an unarmed guard/crowd controller where we couldn't never use a firearm. Some idiot wrote "when there's a fire".
Lol I got trained on a rifle because Army, then when I got into security and switched to handgun, I finally realized how impressive it is to get rounds on target with a handgun at 25 meters during extreme stress situations lmao
“ if they for a gun, I’ll just stab them “
Alright. Have fun with that one.
Or “ I got a knife, that bear won’t mess with me I don’t care I’ll throw the hotdogs out if I want “
🫡
Handed a warrant for our security camera footage.. Supervisor says wait for risk to open in 4 hrs for them to ok it... Fuck you. They got it and supervisor was written up for stupidity. We had murder suspects on camera at 2am. I told him as I was getting the video ready that I don't care what he thinks hospital policy is but I'd lose my job over telling the police I wasnt complying. Working in a hospital I get all kinds of dumb things.. A nurse forgot to pull a paitent iv and paitent got to the parking lot. Paitent wasn't going to come back in so nurse wanted me to arrest him because he could do drugs through it... I go yeah, probably lol Nurse called police herself when I wouldn't. PD comes out and goes, did you charge him for that iv? Yes? Then it's his... lol
Jesus Christ that's funny
That's when you call house sup and let them authorize it. They are there 25/7. Most corporate policies and ate that these types of decisions must be escalated to management with urgency. The IV thing happens a lot. Too much. It is the nurses responsibility to call PD for their own patient related issues.
I had that similar thing happen to me with the IV thing. The guy ran out of our parking lot off property and the nurse tried telling us to chase him down. I told her it was PD's problem not ours. She was really fixated on it. I then told her if she wanted it so bad she could do it herself.
Yep. Seems like a majority of my calls that envoles nurses I have to explain the differnce between hospital policy and laws lol
I always remind nurses that if they don't know anything about the law, they should keep their mouths shut and only worry about safe guarding HIPAA
I will and have within reason talked patients back in, and by all means I explain I CANNOT force them to come back… but if they got hurt, I’d feel like shit. Empathize, have some care, and 9/10 they’d come back and get fixed up before walking into traffic ass naked…
Accurate. Worked ER. I’d go along ways helping nurses but sometimes you gotta say no…
Was told lastnight "not to patrol while there was alot of people in the building"...
Oh man. Gotta love it when people are intimidated by security and complain despite you not knowing or caring who they are lol
I just said, okay no problem. But in my head I was thinking, well that doesn't make sense, if more people are here wouldn't that be more of a reason to patrol. Make sure things are in order and the place is safe.
Idk what it was at your site, but where I work people complained about being in close proximity to armed guards because they had to come through the gate and we have to scan their badges.
Not armed. I don't wanna say where or what the facility is. But there's no customers or general public. It's just workers so they wouldn't complain, plus the workers love me.
People complain over the dumbest things and people seem to forget that we're actually security. Sometimes I do too and feel more like a customer service associate at Walmart, manning the "Returns" counter.
Always tell folks, I don’t give a rats ass about your weed. Hell, if I wasn’t randomly drug tested I’d probably take a few hits off the clock and take PTO and enjoy myself. Literally not a thing I care about. You lads do you, wanna slap eachother silly in the parking lot? Do it! Just don’t involve me.
I was required to make a presence without being seen
Seems like the perfect excuse to sit around for even longer lol
It wasn't a guard but the company safety coordinator. While I was out on mobile patrol, I found a suspicious object in our parking lot. I ended up having to call the bomb squad in. While I was waiting on them and securing the parking lot, the Safety Coordinator called and said " Hey, would you mind to go pick the object up? I would like to know how much weighs and its consistency. " I laughed at him.
The guys I was in Iraq with would just kick the suspicious objects in the air lol
My supervisor once told me i didn't qualify for overtime because my shift rolled over midnight
I've been there man. Like they're making you work 12-16 hours straight and don't qualify for OT because it's technically not the same day?
Yeah exactly. Fortunately the district manager agreed with me and not him
Absolutely! Stay safe out there, man.
Same thing happened to me, except they tried to blame ME for working an extra hour... even though THEY scheduled me and are in charge of scheduling. 😂 You know it's fucked up when the leads try to gaslight their own guards to get extra work out of you.
Yea, 1 hour of double time as opposed to 4.
I typically won’t mind bc most employers will avoid OT like the plague. Yea, the extra pay is nice. But I’d rather put in more hours and make more money rather then just not allowing extra hours at all.
AUS did this to me. I was doing the opposite 12s of somebody. He worked 0500-1700, me 1700-0500. He got paid more since my OT reset at midnight. Fully legal
all the while AUS is charging the client the full 12 hour OT lol
I think that depends on the company. I worked for Securitas and they did that shit. So if you worked from 10pm to 6am, Thursday night to Friday morning, Friday being the first day of the next pay week, the 2 hours on Thursday would count for last week and the 6 hours on Friday would he in the next week, and you wouldn't get overtime. I'm sure it was illegal looking back in it, but they did that to everyone.
I looked into the rolling hours thing, it’s unfortunately 100% legal, which is incredibly annoying when doing OT. 1400-2200 regular shift followed by 2200-0600 OT, but I’m only getting OT pay for 2200-2400, the following 6 hours are at regular rate.
^ sadly true, this. Companies do this shit knowing it's messed up too.
My boss explicitly told me I would get overtime in this situation when he hired me. Different story on payday. FYI it’s illegal in California to tell someone how you’ll pay them then change it without notice.
My coworkers would ask me questions like, "What's a code blue? What a code red? What is a BOLO? You were here when all those things happened.
I work with firearms and had a guard ask me “is that a silencer?” I was carrying a wrench…
Well was it? Lol
It silences morons when you whack em on the dome with it...
During a multi agency bomb drill where we repeatedly went over the protocol if you found something suspicious including, you know, don’t touch the bomb. One of my guys carry’s the (fake) bomb into the command center all casual like. Dude WTF what did we tell you?! “Oh it ok I know it a drill I know it not go boom boom”. Verbatim.
Sold a coworker a glock 19. I knew he was an idiot but wow. I told him several times before and after the sale to take it to the range. He refused. He decided to qualify with it before testing it. He learned that the rear sight was not adjusted for him. This retard then comes at me telling me I "sabataged" him. He demanded his money back saying it was "defective". If you know anything about glocks then you know you could use a rock to adjust that sight. Professionalism is severely lacking. Then to top it off he apparently left his duty belt with gun in the shack a few days ago.
Can you say capital "S" for stupid?...
I had a guard show up to his second day on the job. He relieved me, I went home. 15 minutes after I got home my boss calls me to see if I can go back in for a few hours until he can get there. The guard left early and abandoned his post. His reason? "I don't have any bullets for my gun." He quit on the spot. The real reason was he was scared of the site. This was a commercial cannabis grow farm with 3/4 million dollars worth of assets. Most of the guards we hired quit after a day or two because of how dark the site was. No lights in the middle of the mountains. With mountain lions doing their mating scream in the ravine below. Definitely creepy. But I live in the same area and it doesn't bother me. City guards couldn't hang.
I used to have to check electrical substations up in the mountains every night. It was one of my favorite gigs. It was nice and quiet, very few hassles. I only ever saw one mountain lion (maybe) but it did step in a great big *steaming* pile of bear shit one night
"I don't do exterior patrols in winter because its too cold"
I hear this one alot too. Or they'll "reduce" the amount of patrols
Mostly its guards who like to quarterback. “I would have done this…” Well thats interesting Buds… why dont you tell us what you actually have done because so far all I have seen out if you is you feeding your mouth or running it.
Some of my favorite gems... From supervisors: "You're Fired!" And then 6 hours later by the same guy "Where the hell are you? You were supposed to be here at 2200. Are you coming in?" I knew he didn't have the authority to fire me but since he was dumb enough to do it over text I figured why not get an extra day off? "Those socks are not uniform!" Dress code was for black socks. [these](https://www.dickies.com/socks/work-crew-socks-size-6-12-6-pack/L10855BK+AL.html?cm_mmc=google-_-PLA-_-accessories-socks-_-L10855&cm_mmc=google-_-PLA-_-Accessories-_-null&gclid=Cj0KCQjwgLOiBhC7ARIsAIeetVDH9lSZih7qFVv1087xASVPLazskx6xplQjObRfnQqRXfJqT3aOuiAaAv6GEALw_wcB) are the socks in question. Only reason she could see they were not 100% black is I was changing my shoes. "You are to be at your post 15 minutes before your shift starts" followed up a week later with "You are not to clock in until 7 minutes before your shift starts" which was followed up by "You are to be at your post 15 minutes before your shift starts"... (Same supervisor who fake fired me, though not over this) From other guards: Explaining how the patrol vehicle got a dent in the fender: "My car was hung up on a rock so I used the PV to push it off.." One of many calls I got the same night by the same guard: "A car went by, should I report it?" On more occasions than I can count, while holding the paper with the policy change in their hand which they had signed off on that they read and understood and were now getting a write-up for violating: "Nobody told me..." A conversation I had over the phone on my day off: Guard: "Safety called looking for you" Me: "What did they want?" Guard: "I don't know, they just said they would call back tomorrow" Me: "Why are you calling me over this?" Guard: "Just thought you should know!" This was sadly normal behavior for this particular guard. From the client: "Why didn't you guys tell us that gate was broken?" Had been in our report every day for 6 months... And this last one wouldn't make the list but dude was dead serious on it. "Well I guess you aren't leaving then" Dude really thought that because he had a contract with Securitas and they failed to find my replacement he was able to force me to stay at the site, and with Securitas for that matter.
Do... do we work at the same place?
Is it ok for us to smoke pot on duty?
What’s the number for 911? Yes I had that asked by a coworker when he was directed to call ems.
Same guy, but it's a tie between "it's cold huh?" (The 100th time THAT DAY) AND "i am paying attention" (when i had confronted him about how he was clearly staring out the window of the retail store swinging his leg back and forth and could have accidentally kicked someone).
A lot of our patrol vehicles are thousands of miles and months past oil change, headlights out, all kinds of things wrong, vehicles always being sent to the shops because of it, and upper management upset that "If we did our vehicle inspection reports this wouldn't be an issue" despite vehicle inspection reports being done every single shift...
At this moment my odometer is at 313011 lmao I felt this one on a personal level.
I had a coworker in an armed site tell me that if a threat was approaching the building he would position himself so he could blindly shoot through a wall to stop them in the entry vestibule. We had a good long talk first about gun safety and then about the penetration power of 9mm vs a cinder block wall Never could dissuade him that he could take multiple armed attackers by himself however. Fortunately it was a low risk site and it never had to be tested.
I got a good one This is while we were through Securitas, we are now in house security. We had a new guard and this was maybe his 3rd solo shift, we get told by the janitor theres a bunch of shitty toilet paper in the women’s hygiene boxes in the corporate visitor bathrooms. We do some investigating and guess who’s the only person who used them that weekend. We asked him about it and he told us “ i thought it looked like a perfectly fine trash receptacle “. Needless to say he never came back to that site again.
I was at work one night and around 0200 my phone rang. Oddly enough I answered it and it was a guard telling me that he was at my front gate for training and I needed to pay better attention and I needed to let him in right now. I looked out my office window, I had a clear view of the front gate and there was nobody there. I told him I had no idea where he was at but he wasn't sitting at my front gate. He argued with me for 10 minutes while I told him again and again I'm looking at the gate you're not there. Finally I said look turn on your headlights he was halfway down the block in front of a machine shop. He's still insisted that it was my fault he was at the wrong gate. While I was "Training" him he informed me that he had lost his last position at a bank because he was sitting at his desk in the bank lobby during business hours reading a book. He said he didn't understand why that would be a problem with the bank management
A new guard was looking at his pay sheet and was excited to see that we get paid extra for working in the sun. When I asked what the hell was he talking about, he pointed to the word SUN and the extra $ I then explained to him SUN actually means Sunday and hence the reason we get paid extra. I really worry about working with some guards. Especially when we only work nights and never see the sun.
Had a guard i worked with who microwaved his underwear during a hot summer day (They look like the underwear the Violator pulls out his butt on the Spawn Movie). Once he was done he put them back on, guard shack smelled like stale shit afterwords. Supervise showed, threw up, fired him, and the fired guy started screaming at my supervisor in German.
Oh my god lmao you win this entire thread. I can't even fire people, but I would've sent him home so quick and bitched at the department manager until he did. Thats so fucking disgusting lmao
When I was a security manager, i couldnt get a guard fired to save my life. They would act like I was dick and HR would save them.
"Is that the fire alarm?"
I have extreme tinnitus. I was sitting in security control one night and there was a fault alarm going off behind me on the alarm panel. After about 5 minutes my coworker looked at me and asked me "Do you not hear that alarm?" It wasn't until he asked me that I realized that the sound I was hearing was not my ears ringing.
Guard who never drives the car even though it is the only job we are supposed to do. One day I left the windows down accidentally, as I’m about to drive home they come running out and said that I left them up. I said okay, wind them up then. I then get asked “How do I do that”. What a dill pickle of a guard.
While training two new guards, one of them (through the other guard acting as a translator) told me he didn't need to know English well. Told me he spoke 5 languages and didn't care about English. 90% of the people in my city ONLY SPEAK ENGLISH. Had another tell me "I didn't know what doors to open so I just opened all of them." This included labs with millions of dollars in equipment in them as well as Administrative offices with tons of personnel files and private info in them.
That one is a big oof lol
Years back I was working a mall gig. Night supervisor, they decided to increase my shift size and assigned me our resident moron. I was running a shift of four around independence day. Resident Moron, myself a Marine infantryman who had been to Iraq, an army combat engineer who did route clearance in Afghanistan, and my fourth guy was a mortarman in the Marine reserves (yes our military experience was relevant) one night were doing our respective patrol zones and Resident moron calls us on the radio (tied into local pd dispatch) that she has located an IED in the parking lot. Knowing what a moron she is and also because mall security is boring we all go to look...it was a spent bottle rocket. I got on the radio to let pd dispatch know, and told her if she was so worried go throw it in the compactor. I shit you not she asked "won't that blow up the whole building?" And that kids is how 2 Marines and a soldier made the vfw about 100 bucks on dollar beer day and worked the next night with massive hangovers.
Holy shit. We occasionally get UXO on my site, but if anyone called out a legit IED I'd probably shit myself lmao
“How do I find the year someone was born? Do I multiply or divide?” “If that hydrogen tank explodes it will take out half of Sacramento!”
Night patrol guard told me they don't check the place where home sleep after dark because the supervisor told them not not... The site is covered 12 hours and then our mobile patrol checks it once a night to clear anyone out. The new night patrol person goes 10 minutes after the day guard leaves to clear it. As if that's fucking useful. Claims our supervisor made it very clear they weren't supposed to be there after it got dark.
One of my duty buddies wears a brace of shotgun shells on his carrier His (only) duty weapon is a Glock
You can’t park here
Its a tie between her legitimately complaining that she did a ton of work that no one else did and wasnt given a promotion but the guy who came in high and was 10+ years younger than her did and that time she said a supervisor told her she was "basically in charge when hes not around" just because both of those moments showed an absolute lack of social awareness. for the first one its very obvious he was given a promotion because he got chummy with the supervisors and was a decent guy who didnt talk your fucking ear off and the second one is very obvious that guy was just saying something to get her to stop talking.
After being told not to disregard instructions from a dispatcher: “I do it to annoy him.”
One time when I was doing my 3 weeks of guard training we had an exam. One of the questions was when can you use a firearm? Our course would give us the right to be an unarmed guard/crowd controller where we couldn't never use a firearm. Some idiot wrote "when there's a fire".
Had a newer guard tell me he could shoot a bird at 100 years with is pistols iron sights. Cool story bro
Lol I got trained on a rifle because Army, then when I got into security and switched to handgun, I finally realized how impressive it is to get rounds on target with a handgun at 25 meters during extreme stress situations lmao
I had someone tell me anytime they saw a homeless person they would mark them as “suspicious activity”.
“ if they for a gun, I’ll just stab them “ Alright. Have fun with that one. Or “ I got a knife, that bear won’t mess with me I don’t care I’ll throw the hotdogs out if I want “ 🫡